Michael Kimmel - Why gender equality is good for everyone - men included

Summary

The speaker explores men's role in supporting gender equality, starting from a personal story about how he became aware of his own privilege as a white man. He emphasizes that gender equality benefits not only women but also men, families, businesses, and societies. Sharing responsibilities, such as housework and childcare, leads to healthier, happier relationships and more fulfilling lives for men. The speaker argues that engaging men is essential to advancing gender equality and that it ultimately offers a win-win scenario for everyone involved.

Takeaways

• 👥 Men play a crucial role in supporting gender equality and need to be actively involved in the process.
• 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 Privilege, such as race or gender privilege, often remains invisible to those who possess it, making it important to recognize and address these advantages.
• 👀 The assumption that one is 'neutral' or 'objective' often masks privilege, as men and white individuals may perceive themselves as unmarked by race or gender.
• 🎓 Engaging men in gender conversations can lead to premature self-congratulation or resistance, with some men believing gender equality threatens their positions.
• 👩‍💼 Companies that embrace gender equality see higher employee satisfaction, productivity, and retention, proving that equality benefits businesses.
• 👶 Sharing housework and childcare responsibilities leads to healthier and happier children, which men also want for their families.
• 💼 Gender equality is good for men personally, as it aligns with their desires for balanced work and family lives and better relationships with their partners.
• ❤️ Men who share household responsibilities tend to have happier marriages and even increased intimacy with their partners.
• 💪 Gender equality is not a zero-sum game, but a win-win situation that benefits men, women, children, and society as a whole.
• 📚 Feminism and gender equality empower both women and men, giving them the freedom to live the lives they desire.

Q & A

What event led the speaker to begin thinking about gender and privilege?

The speaker was in graduate school and joined a feminist theory study group with eleven women. During one discussion, a Black woman highlighted how privilege, such as race, is invisible to those who have it, which made the speaker realize he had never thought about his own privilege as a middle-class white man.

How does the speaker describe the concept of privilege?

Privilege is described as being invisible to those who possess it. For instance, the speaker realized that as a white man, he viewed himself as a 'generic' human being, not having to think about race, class, or gender, unlike others who are constantly aware of these aspects.

What realization did the speaker have during the discussion between the white and Black women?

The speaker realized that while the white woman saw herself simply as a 'woman' when she looked in the mirror, the Black woman saw herself as a 'Black woman,' highlighting how race was an integral part of her identity. This led the speaker to reflect on his own lack of awareness about privilege.

Why does the speaker argue that men should support gender equality?

The speaker argues that gender equality is not only fair and just, but it is also in men's best interests. It benefits countries, companies, and individuals by improving happiness, workplace productivity, and personal relationships. Moreover, it helps men lead the lives they say they want, such as being more involved fathers and having balanced work-family lives.

What societal changes do younger men today expect, according to the speaker?

Younger men today expect to have more egalitarian relationships, where both partners work and share family responsibilities. They want to be involved fathers and aim to balance their careers with family life.

How does the speaker explain the resistance of some men to gender equality?

Some men resist gender equality because they feel entitled to certain jobs or promotions and view any policy that promotes equality as 'reverse discrimination.' They see the playing field as already level and believe they are victims of unfairness when others receive opportunities.

What example does the speaker give to illustrate changing attitudes toward gender roles?

The speaker recalls an old riddle about a boy in a hospital where the attending physician says, 'I can't treat him, that's my son.' While this riddle confused people in the past, his 16-year-old son's friends immediately recognized that the physician could be the boy's mother, showing a shift in how gender roles are understood today.

What are the benefits for men who share housework and childcare, according to the speaker?

Men who share housework and childcare experience benefits such as better health, less stress, healthier relationships with their partners, and improved happiness. Additionally, their children do better in school, and their wives report higher marital satisfaction and well-being.

What does the speaker say about men's role in promoting gender equality in the workplace?

The speaker notes that men are often seen as more 'objective' when speaking about gender inequality, which underscores the importance of engaging men in these discussions. Men's involvement in promoting gender equality can help break down biases and promote a more inclusive environment.

What does the speaker mean when he says 'gender equality is not a zero-sum game'?

By this, the speaker means that gender equality does not benefit women at the expense of men. Instead, it creates a win-win situation where everyone, including men, women, and children, benefits from more equitable relationships and workplaces.