Cohabitation

Summary

The video addresses how parents can guide their adult children who are cohabiting before marriage, especially when they view it as morally wrong. It suggests asking questions to understand their desires, focusing on their personal growth rather than condemning their actions. Parents are encouraged to help their children become better individuals by supporting their desire for a faithful and meaningful marriage. Lastly, the video advises being honest and vulnerable about feelings, without shaming, and fostering open communication to inspire positive change.

Takeaways

• 🙂 Ask questions to understand your adult child's experiences without judgment.
• 🤔 Focus on identifying their authentic desires for faithfulness, love, and exclusivity.
• 👨‍🏫 Teach from a perspective of being rather than focusing only on behavior.
• 🔄 Decisions shape the type of people we become—more whole or more broken.
• 📚 Encourage personal growth by offering resources that align with their goals for a faithful marriage.
• 💬 Use 'I statements' to express your feelings without blaming or shaming.
• 🌱 Acknowledge your own mistakes as a parent and model accountability.
• 🙌 Create an environment of honesty, vulnerability, and mutual support.
• 💡 Avoid emotionally manipulative language and instead foster open communication.
• 💒 Your children may realize the importance of making marriage feel different from living together and seek your support.

Q & A

What is the main topic discussed in the video script?

The main topic discussed is how parents can help their adult children see that living together before marriage is not okay.

What approach does the speaker suggest parents take when addressing the issue with their adult children?

The speaker suggests asking a lot of questions to understand their children's experiences and desires, teaching from a perspective of being rather than doing, and being honest and vulnerable about their feelings.

Why does the speaker recommend asking questions to the adult children?

The speaker recommends asking questions to avoid judgment and to understand the authentic desires of their children's hearts, which can lead to more open and honest conversations.

What is meant by teaching from a perspective of 'being' rather than 'doing'?

Teaching from a perspective of 'being' focuses on the kind of people they are becoming and the moral implications of their actions, rather than just focusing on the behaviors themselves.

How does the speaker suggest parents handle their own feelings about the situation?

The speaker suggests being honest and vulnerable about their feelings using 'I statements' to express disappointment or hurt without shaming or blaming their children.

What kind of culture does the speaker believe should be promoted within the family when discussing this issue?

The speaker believes in promoting a culture of real honesty and sharing, where mistakes are acknowledged and efforts are made to improve, rather than a culture of shaming.

How does the speaker recommend parents respond if their children express a desire for faithfulness and a strong marriage?

The speaker recommends supporting their children's desires by providing resources, such as books, that can help them become the kind of person they want to be and achieve a faithful marriage.

What is the speaker's view on using statistics or negative outcomes to convince their children about cohabitation?

The speaker advises against using statistics or negative outcomes, as these often backfire or do not produce good results. Instead, focus on positive and supportive communication.

Why does the speaker emphasize modeling behavior for adult children?

The speaker emphasizes modeling behavior because it shows that adults can recognize mistakes, make changes, and improve, which can inspire adult children to do the same.

What outcome does the speaker hope for by using the suggested approaches?

The speaker hopes that by using the suggested approaches, parents can foster honest and supportive relationships with their adult children, leading to better decisions and stronger marriages.