The Art Of Asking Questions | Dan Moulthrop | TEDxSHHS

TEDx Talks

18 Dec 201517:18

Summary

TLDRThe speaker shares valuable insights on the art of asking meaningful questions, emphasizing curiosity, empathy, and simplicity. Through personal stories and lessons from interactions with influential figures like Vietnam veterans, Studs Terkel, and Allen Ginsberg, the speaker illustrates how asking thoughtful questions can unlock deep conversations. Key takeaways include the importance of being unafraid, curious, and informed, using the right words, and striving for empathy. The speaker concludes with a favorite question, 'What was that like for you?' and reminds the audience to be gracious in receiving others' responses.

Takeaways

🤔 Curiosity begins with a thought and leads to questions, which then foster learning.
😲 People often want to share significant experiences, even if they are painful.
📚 Studs Terkel's interviews demonstrated deep curiosity about people's work and feelings, providing valuable insights through thoughtful questions.
🧠 Being curious about others' experiences and why things are the way they are is essential.
❓ Asking obvious questions can sometimes lead to important revelations that haven't been addressed yet.
💬 The right words matter when asking questions, as they can open doors to meaningful conversations.
😌 Empathy is crucial in interviews and asking questions, especially when dealing with experiences vastly different from your own.
📖 Being informed about your subject shows respect and helps avoid redundant questions.
📝 Keep questions simple and focused; sometimes the most basic question, like 'why,' is the most impactful.
❤️ The best questions come from genuine curiosity, such as 'What was that like for you?' which invites authentic sharing of personal experiences.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the speaker's message in the transcript?
-The main theme is the importance of asking good questions, being curious, and understanding that asking thoughtful questions can lead to learning and meaningful conversations.
Why does the speaker emphasize the need to be unafraid when asking questions?
-The speaker emphasizes this because many people are hesitant to ask questions, especially about difficult or personal topics, but often people are willing and even want to share their experiences, no matter how painful.
Who is Studs Terkel, and why is he mentioned in the speech?
-Studs Terkel was a renowned interviewer and oral historian. He is mentioned as an example of someone who mastered the art of asking thoughtful and empathetic questions, particularly about people’s work and life experiences.
What lesson does the speaker draw from interviewing a former Green Beret who ran a homeless shelter?
-The lesson is that people often want to talk about experiences that have shaped them, even if they are painful. The speaker learned to be unafraid to ask about these deep, personal experiences.
What is the significance of the 'obvious question' according to the speaker?
-The speaker suggests that sometimes the most obvious question is the most important one, but it can often go unasked. Asking an obvious question can unlock new information or perspectives.
What does the speaker mean by 'words matter' in the context of asking questions?
-The speaker means that the specific words and phrasing used in a question can have a significant impact on the quality and depth of the response. Asking well-constructed questions can lead to more meaningful conversations.
Why does the speaker believe empathy is crucial when asking questions?
-Empathy allows the person asking questions to better connect with the experiences of others, especially when those experiences are vastly different from their own. It helps in creating a genuine and open dialogue.
How did the speaker handle the challenge of interviewing Allen Ginsberg?
-The speaker spent a long time researching Ginsberg's work to ensure he would not ask questions Ginsberg had already answered in previous interviews. This taught the speaker the importance of being well-informed before asking questions.
What does the speaker describe as their favorite question to ask during interviews?
-The speaker's favorite question is 'What's that like for you?' because it opens up a conversation about personal experiences that the questioner hasn't lived through and shows a deep curiosity and empathy.
What is the final lesson the speaker wants to leave the audience with about asking questions?
-The final lesson is to be gracious when receiving answers, as the person responding is offering a gift of their time and experience. It's important to acknowledge and appreciate that.

Outlines

00:00

🧠 The Power of Curiosity and Asking Questions

In this opening paragraph, the speaker emphasizes the importance of curiosity and how it drives learning by asking good questions. He shares a personal story from when he was 16 years old and working on a project about the Vietnam War. He recalls reading impactful oral histories and how he summoned the courage to interview a former Green Beret. Through this, he learned that people are often willing to talk about their life-shaping experiences, even painful ones, and that curiosity should not be hindered by fear.

05:02

🌍 The Importance of Being Curious and Asking the Obvious Questions

Here, the speaker continues by highlighting the significance of curiosity about the world and the importance of asking obvious questions. He recalls interviewing Ohio State Senator Tim Grendel, who had concerns about the Great Lakes water compact. The speaker’s simple question about potential compromises led to a breakthrough. He reinforces the idea that even obvious questions can lead to important discoveries.

10:05

💬 The Power of Words in Facilitating Conversations

The speaker discusses the impact of words in facilitating meaningful conversations. He shares an anecdote about working with Noel Celeste, who helped him understand the power of asking the right question to inspire conversation, like ‘What’s your passion?’ This question led to an engaging two-hour dialogue at a public event. The lesson is that the specific words used in questions matter, as they can unlock deep and heartfelt discussions.

15:06

😨 Empathy and Asking Difficult Questions

In this paragraph, the speaker shares the anxiety he felt when interviewing former child soldier Ishmael Beah. He reflects on the difficulty of asking Beah about his traumatic experiences in Sierra Leone but knew it was necessary. The speaker stresses the importance of striving for empathy in conversations, especially when discussing topics vastly different from one’s own experience. Empathy helps bridge those differences and allows for more meaningful exchanges.

📚 Lessons from Interviewing Allen Ginsberg and the Art of Being Informed

The speaker recalls interviewing beat poet Allen Ginsberg and the lesson he learned: don’t ask questions that have already been asked. This led the speaker to meticulously research Ginsberg’s past interviews to come up with original questions. He also mentions learning from Merle Johnson, who always asked well-researched and factual questions at City Club forums. The key takeaway is to be informed and avoid redundancy in interviews.

❓ The Value of Simplicity in Asking Questions

The speaker discusses a lesson he learned from ESPN sportscaster Stuart Scott, who advised asking one question at a time and keeping it simple. Complex, multi-part questions are often less effective than straightforward ones. Stuart Scott's advice to 'be simple' reinforces that sometimes the simplest question—like 'Why?'—can be the most profound.

❔ The Speaker’s Favorite Question: 'What Was That Like for You?'

In this concluding paragraph, the speaker shares his favorite question: 'What was that like for you?' He explains that it’s a genuine, sincere question that shows interest in understanding someone else’s unique experiences. He stresses that when someone shares their experience, it’s a gift that should be received with gratitude. The speaker ends by expressing his appreciation to the audience for their time and attention.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Curiosity

Curiosity is a driving theme of the video, presented as the starting point for asking good questions. It begins with a thought, leads to questions, and fosters learning. The speaker emphasizes that curiosity about others' experiences, like when he interviewed Vietnam veterans, often leads to deep insights.

💡Empathy

Empathy is described as essential when asking questions, particularly when discussing sensitive topics or experiences different from one's own. The speaker mentions striving for empathy during interviews, such as when he asked a former child soldier about his traumatic experiences, highlighting the importance of understanding another person's perspective.

💡Obvious questions

The speaker highlights that sometimes the most obvious question is the most important one. He shares an example from an interview with a state senator, where he asked a simple, straightforward question that no one else had thought to ask, which ultimately led to a significant response.

💡Fearlessness

Fearlessness is emphasized as a key quality when asking questions. The speaker encourages the audience not to be afraid to ask difficult or personal questions, explaining that many people are willing to talk about their life-shaping experiences, even if they are painful, as seen in his interview with Vietnam veterans.

💡Studs Terkel

Studs Terkel is referenced as a master interviewer who was deeply curious about people's experiences. His work, especially the book 'Working,' serves as an example of how asking the right questions can reveal profound insights into people's lives, whether they are priests or cab drivers.

💡Words matter

The importance of the words chosen when asking questions is stressed. The speaker recalls a lesson from a friend about how phrasing questions properly, such as asking 'What’s your passion?', can unlock deeper and more meaningful responses from people.

💡Child soldiers

The speaker references his interview with Ishmael Beah, a former child soldier from Sierra Leone, as an example of the challenge of asking difficult questions. His inquiry into Beah’s experiences killing people illustrates the necessity of empathy and courage in such conversations.

💡Vietnam veterans

Vietnam veterans are central to a story shared by the speaker, where his curiosity about their wartime experiences, particularly from the African American soldiers in the book 'Bloods,' led him to conduct interviews. This illustrates the power of curiosity in driving meaningful inquiries into painful and complex subjects.

💡Passion

Passion is discussed as a critical topic for meaningful conversation. The speaker shares how asking people about their passions—what they care most deeply about—can unlock profound dialogue, fostering connections between strangers by tapping into what drives them.

💡Ginsberg, Allen

Allen Ginsberg, the famous Beat poet, is used as an example of a high-profile interviewee. The speaker recounts the lesson he learned from Ginsberg to avoid asking repetitive or overly common questions, emphasizing the importance of novelty and depth in interviews with well-known figures.

Highlights

Curiosity begins with a thought and is followed by a question, leading to learning and understanding.

At 16, the speaker interviewed a former Green Beret about his experiences in Vietnam, emphasizing that people often want to talk about their impactful experiences, even if they are painful.

The first lesson about asking questions: Don't be afraid to ask, as people generally want to share stories that shaped their lives.

Studs Terkel was a master interviewer, known for his ability to ask questions that revealed people's deeper thoughts about their work and life.

The second lesson: Be curious about the world and other people’s experiences, as this opens up new perspectives.

Sometimes the most obvious question is the most important one to ask, as demonstrated by the speaker’s interview with a state senator about the Great Lakes Water Compact.

Words matter when asking questions. Framing a question thoughtfully can lead to more meaningful conversations.

In group facilitation, asking the right question, like 'What’s your passion?', can create deep and engaging conversations.

Strive for empathy when asking questions, especially when discussing difficult or painful experiences.

When interviewing Allen Ginsberg, the speaker learned the importance of asking original, thoughtful questions that the interviewee has not been asked before.

Be informed about the subject and avoid asking.