How to be SHARP and SOFT socially
Summary
TLDRThis video explores the balance between being sharp and soft, highlighting how both qualities are valuable when used intentionally. It discusses how imbalances arise from superiority or inferiority complexes, leading to people-pleasing or aggressive behavior. The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, breathing, and setting intentions to maintain balance. Practical tips include slowing down, staying grounded, and using a composed tone. Ultimately, the video encourages confident yet gentle communication, reminding viewers that internal energy and mindful expression are key to navigating social interactions with grace.
Takeaways
- 😊 It's okay to be both sharp and soft; balance is key.
- 😯 We go off balance when we experience superiority or inferiority syndrome.
- 🤔 People-pleasing is a result of inferiority syndrome, often caused by fears, anxiety, or insecurities.
- 😅 Laughter padding, over-agreeing, and lying to avoid discomfort are signs of people-pleasing.
- 😠 Superiority syndrome makes us sharp and aggressive, often stemming from feeling triggered.
- 💡 Our energy is a mix of subtle cues like facial expressions, tone, body language, and intention.
- 🌬️ Breathing is essential to maintaining balance and grounding during interactions.
- 🌸 Softness doesn't mean being inferior; it’s about being present, confident, and composed.
- 🔪 Sharpness, when balanced, allows for direct communication without superiority or aggression.
- 🌱 Balance between sharpness and softness is achieved by staying present, non-reactive, and maintaining open communication.
Q & A
What is the main message of the video?
-The main message is about achieving balance between being sharp and soft in social interactions. The video emphasizes that it's okay to embody both qualities and that being off-balance leads to issues like superiority or inferiority syndromes.
What does the speaker mean by 'sharpness' and 'softness'?
-Sharpness refers to being direct, assertive, and sometimes aggressive, often linked to superiority syndrome. Softness is associated with being gentle, empathetic, and often linked to inferiority syndrome. Both qualities can be positive if balanced.
How does imbalance in sharpness or softness manifest?
-Imbalance manifests through superiority or inferiority syndromes. Superiority syndrome leads to being overly sharp, aggressive, or dismissive, while inferiority syndrome results in people-pleasing behaviors and avoiding conflict.
What is 'people-pleasing,' according to the speaker?
-People-pleasing is described as behavior driven by fears, anxieties, and insecurities, where a person prioritizes others' comfort or approval over their own feelings, often leading to over-agreement or avoiding direct expression.
How can one prevent going off-balance between sharpness and softness?
-The speaker suggests being intentional and mindful of your energy, breathing deeply before and during interactions, and maintaining composure. These practices help keep interactions balanced without falling into sharpness or softness extremes.
Why is breathing emphasized as an important practice in the video?
-Breathing is emphasized as a tool to ground oneself, maintain balance, and prevent reactivity during interactions. It helps manage emotions, triggers, and reminds the individual of their intention, whether they are being sharp or soft.
Can softness also be connected to superiority, and how?
-Yes, softness can be linked to superiority in a more subtle, backhanded way. A person may appear soft on the surface but internally judge others or act superior by masking their true feelings under a gentle exterior.
What should be the intention behind sharpness in communication?
-The intention behind sharpness should be to speak truthfully and directly, but from a place of balance and openness. The goal should be clarity and resolution, not to dominate or 'win' the conversation.
How does the speaker suggest dealing with feelings of inferiority during interactions?
-The speaker suggests breathing to calm any reactive emotions, maintaining a composed and grounded energy, and ensuring that communication remains clear and present. It’s important to not fall into people-pleasing or over-agreeing behaviors.
How does energy play a role in expressing sharpness or softness?
-Energy is crucial because it affects how others perceive your sharpness or softness. By staying balanced in energy, being aware of internal emotions, and expressing yourself with intention, you can ensure that sharpness doesn’t come off as aggressive or softness as passive.
Outlines
🔄 Balancing Sharpness and Softness
The speaker discusses how being both sharp and soft is not inherently bad, but it becomes an issue when we are off balance. This imbalance often stems from two extremes: superiority or inferiority syndromes. Inferiority syndrome, linked to people-pleasing due to fears and insecurities, can cause one to act overly agreeable or evasive in social situations. Superiority syndrome leads to a sharp, aggressive stance where one feels overly confident or right. The key is maintaining balance in energy, tone, and behavior, and the speaker advises focusing on intent and staying centered.
🌀 The Power of Softness: Intentionality and Breathing
Softness, when intentional, can be powerful. The speaker suggests speaking slower and lifting one's tone while staying grounded and composed. Breathing helps to remain present and prevent reactive behaviors. Softness doesn't equate to inferiority, and one can be soft while holding power and confidence. Practicing calmness through breath and intention enables a balanced, confident presence in conversations, even in moments of discomfort or anxiety.
🌬️ Mastering Sharpness with Intent and Breath
Sharpness, like softness, requires intentionality. Sharpness can come from a place of superiority or as a defense mechanism when feeling inferior. Before engaging in conversations, it’s crucial to set clear intentions, often aiming for unity rather than conflict. The speaker stresses breathing to avoid reactive sharpness. Sharpness, when paired with humor or light energy, can create nonchalant but effective communication, helping to maintain balance and avoid unnecessary conflict or superiority complexes.
🌱 Balancing Detachment and Connection
The speaker explores the concept of being detached while remaining connected. Being nonchalant doesn’t mean not caring, but rather approaching situations from an objective standpoint without getting too attached to outcomes. This helps in maintaining balance and calmness during interactions. Staying open to the other person's response, while holding one's ground without superiority or inferiority, leads to healthy and balanced communication.
🧘 Energy Awareness and Balanced Expression
The speaker concludes by emphasizing the importance of balancing internal energy and external expression. Everyone can sense each other's energy, and it’s crucial to remain mindful of how one’s inner thoughts and feelings impact outward behaviors. By keeping energy in check, one can effectively balance sharpness and softness in all interactions. The speaker ends by encouraging viewers to like, subscribe, and comment, while reflecting on the need to see things from a 'new view' to maintain balanced perspectives in life.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Sharpness
💡Softness
💡Balance
💡Intention
💡Superiority Syndrome
💡Inferiority Syndrome
💡People Pleasing
💡Laughter Padding
💡Breathe
💡Nonchalant Energy
Highlights
Introduction to balancing sharpness and softness in personal interactions.
Example of rejecting something and standing firm, illustrating balance in communication.
Discussion on how inferiority syndrome leads to people-pleasing behavior.
Defining people-pleasing as stemming from fears, anxieties, and insecurities.
Connection between feeling others' energy and how it triggers inferiority syndrome.
Common examples of people-pleasing, including laughter padding and over-agreeing in social settings.
Superiority syndrome explained as being sharp and overly confident in communication.
How energy and balance influence whether sharpness or softness comes across in a healthy way.
Importance of breathing and setting intentions before interactions to maintain balance.
Reminder to speak slower and use lighter tones when practicing softness in communication.
Exploration of superiority with softness as a backhanded or passive-aggressive form of communication.
Sharpness can also stem from inferiority, showing that balance is crucial in both modes of communication.
Importance of grounding oneself through breath to stay composed and avoid reactivity.
How nonchalance, humor, and lightness can help maintain sharpness without becoming confrontational.
Encouragement to embody balance by being present, breathing, and staying connected with the energy of others.
Transcripts
today I'm showing you guys how to be
sharp and soft how to be both how it's
okay to be both here's an
example I don't want that that's not
really my preference so I was thinking
let me
finish yeah that's a good idea too to
finish my thought you
decide why don't you decide and a reason
why sometimes we judge ourselves or
others being too sharp or soft it's not
because being sharp or soft is wrong or
bad
it's because we go off balance it's
always when we're off balance and when
do we go off balance is when we have
either superiority syndrome or
inferiority syndrome what is inferiority
syndrome people pleasing people pleasing
that's it people pleasing and how do we
Define people pleasing people pleasing
because of uh fears and and
anxiety
fears anxiety and insecurities when
we're interacting with people whether
the and the fears anxieties and
insecurities can be coming from
ourselves or can be coming from them
it's still coming from ourselves when
it's coming from them we're all
connected but it could be triggered by
something you feel from yourself or
something you're sensing from them and
then you get into this inferiority
syndrome and then you people
please so for example if we're
interacting a lot of times you know at
work or even in Social settings we
laughter
pad yeah yeah yeah I
know yo isn't that so annoying and
tiring like we don't need to do that we
use laughter padding so that the way
that we're expressing even when we're
uncomfortable we can kind of float
through it even though it's actually
very draining to be laughter padding or
we're just talking a lot more or we're
over over agreeing with someone yeah
yeah I know I know or we're lying to get
out of something oh no I can't today
because I got a I just I got so many
things and stuff and I just no I can't
whereas you can just be like no I
got to go home and I just want to rest
but yeah superiority syndrome you're
looking freaking down at people you're
sharp and you're aggressive you're sharp
and you think you're right and everyone
else is wrong
and a superiority syndrome is the thing
but sometimes it's not you might not
even consciously know that you're trying
to be super barrier it's more of a
reactive response because a lot of times
when we're not honed we're not balanced
the sharpness comes out because we're
triggered so much of this really is just
your overall energy and what is our
overall energy it's a mix of all these
subtle nuanced things about us in the
way that we express our facial
expressions our body language our tone
tone our pitch our pitch our pitch our
paste our past our
Pace um Our intention how we are
thinking and feeling on the
inside it's so much of everything but
it's not about it's really not about
memorizing each aspect that's going to
be very challenging and you're not going
to be able to flow with that energy and
it's not going to come out naturally
it's about embodying that energy in full
and the best way to do it is just to
intend breathe and then go with it and
once you're able to intend breathe and
go with it the everything I just
mentioned facial expressions body
language tone pitch all of that will
come naturally okay so with soft number
one is be intentional soft and sharp
both but number one is always be
intentional I'm just going to a party I
want to just
practice slowing down because normally
maybe I'm more anxious and I tend to
talk really fast so today and when I
talk really fast I might be too sharp
sometimes so today in this party I'm
going to my intention is to talk slower
be
present while still sharing exactly what
I want to share keep it Balan keep it
Balan number
two breathe
breathing so underrated and saves us
from so many things breathe before you
enter the interaction breathe during it
breathe when you get triggered or you
need a reminder of what your intention
is even in mid conversation
just breathe remember the balance so
what I was saying just always keep in
mind when it's soft no inferiority we're
not trying to be inferior and some you
know even though I related uh
inferiority to softness sometimes there
can even be superiority with softness
right actually I didn't mention that
earlier but we can be uh Superior and be
soft too and that's um more of this um
backhanded kind of energy right like I'm
being soft but I'm kind of just judging
you kind of energy a few other tips and
tricks speak slower especially as you're
practicing softness it's easier to speak
slower and your tone it's easier to lift
it up a bit to keep it lighter but don't
lift it up so much that you start to
sound fake just keep
it lighter the tone and the pitch but in
a way that comes natural for you and
keep grounded and composed that's how
you're going to stay balanced too that's
why the breathing is important because
when you're breathing your energy you
can keep grounding yourself and you
canay stay slow but when you're slow
you're not you're not slow and soft in a
way where you're anxious or uh feeling
sheepish you're you're soft and slow in
a way where you're grounded and composed
and you know what you're saying and
you're consciously present you're
courageously confidently present and
conscious with everyone but you're soft
and if there are moments where you do
get triggered it's okay it still happens
either speak definitively dare to
continue to be soft and gentle but speak
your mind take a moment
breathe speak your mind or if you're
getting too a little bit too anxious and
you know you're still practicing it's
okay then choose in the moment to
express H okay let me I need some time
to reflect on this I'm going to I'm
going to think about this yeah let give
me a moment or I'm going to take some
time H that's a good point I'm going to
think about this thank you next sharp
sharpness steps of sharpness it's really
similar to be honest number one is
also decide your intention be
intentional um it's very important for
sharpness too because a lot of times uh
when we're imbalance and sharp so that's
superiority syndrome and sometimes let
me think
um yeah you can be infuriate and still
be sharp too but you're trying to be
superior so it's like a blend of
inferiority and superiority because
maybe you don't feel good enough but
instead of your natural Expressions
again you can get that energy reading
from me if you relate to this your
natural Expressions you're more FY so
you you even when you feel inferior you
don't want you're you don't speak like a
softy so you're direct so you feel
inferior but you use sharpness as a way
to pretend you're Superior so it's still
in Balance right so before this
interaction why am I talking to these
people what do I want to get from this
interaction and a lot of times when we
do that exercise of reviewing Our
intention we will all also balance
ourselves more before we go into the
interaction because maybe you know if
we're in a fight with someone fight with
a lover we just want to win right we're
just going into it reactively we just
want to win then obviously we're going
to be sharp with superiority syndrome
but if we take some time to be
intentional okay we're in a fight but
what is my actual intention I obviously
don't want to fight I want to enjoy I
want to enjoy each other so because
that's my ultimate goal but I still do
want to explain what I'm feeling and
thinking I will keep that in mind my
ultimate goal is peace my ultimate goal
is Unity but I also do want to speak my
mind I want to St St my ground okay now
that I'm aware of this okay then I'm
going to be sharp I'm going to be direct
but from a place of eye level and
balance because my intention is I want
to resolve I want to love number two
same thing breathe especially that
sharpness don't get reactive don't get
trigger breathe before breathe
during there to be honest and direct
while keeping a light nonchalant energy
and this is more so a personal technique
I use a personal trick I use and again
it's because I the way that I'm sharp
what I find the most effective is when
I'm able to be light about it and add
some humor and be non Shalon about it I
think there are other ways to be sharp
too but I think this is a very effective
way so that's what I'm teaching um so
try to uh you can if you want to take
this technique be sharp be direct but
speak from a that's why it's important
to breathe try to be L and be nonchalant
so I'm standing in my truth I'm going to
speak my mind this is how I feel this is
exactly how I feel but however you
respond it's fine even if you disagree
and we're in a relationship and you
don't agree with me I'm not going to get
triggered that might not be the solution
I'm looking for but that's that's really
on you like you got to work through some
things or you got to explain some more
for me to also understand what the Gap
is still so whatever I am expressing in
my truth is fine like because whatever
happens next is meant to happen and I'm
not going to get triggered by you so
when you're in understanding of that
whatever you you believe in yourself you
know your worth you know your truth and
you give them Grace however they react
it's okay you can work through it when
you're in understanding of that then
naturally your energy will be lighter
you can be more nonchalant so just
remember when I say nonchalant it's not
about not caring it is more so this
detached energy but it's being able to
be detached and objective so that you
can connect and solution together
because you're not getting overwhelmed
or biased or thinking you're better or
worse than them getting too attached to
whatever they're thinking feeling
whatever your hone your balance and
you're there to communicate your present
if you're just sharp and you're not
looking at them and you're just speaking
your mind you're just angry that's
superiority again because you're not
giving them the space to also respond
you and the only way you can play this
game of eye level and you guys aren't
both doing the superiority inferiority
back and forth is if you show them I'm
here consciously present confidently and
consciously present with you while
speaking my mind directly but I have
this open gracious energy so you can
also speak however you want back and I'm
listening the secret is balance knowing
that we truly all are connected
consciously
energetically you can feel this when
you're around people look at all the
things we just talked about with
sharpness and
softness when other people are sharp or
soft you can feel their intentions you
can feel whether they're having some
inferiority or superiority we can all
sense energy from each other not just
from what we're expressing on the
outside we we are getting better and
better at sensing what people are
feeling on the inside regardless of what
they're expressing on the outside side
that's why it's important for us
ourselves to watch our own internal
energy and thoughts and feelings and
emotions when we're expressing so it's
always balance when we're able to
express in this manner then we can truly
play with sharpness and softness all we
want thank you guys so much if you guys
want to see more from me from my YouTube
and my podcast please like subscribe
share comment please comment please let
me know please let me know if you enjoy
this video please let me know what you
would like to see um I want to make sure
I'm creating content that's helpful and
entertaining and hopefully inspiring for
you so any feedback and any
encouragement through your engagement
will be greatly appreciated thank you
guys so much and
remember sometimes we just have to see
things see things from a new view
sometimes we just have to see things
from New
View love you guys I'll see you next
time
bye
[Music]
he
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