The Power of Community | Howard Partridge | TEDxTAMU
Summary
TLDRThe speaker addresses the increasing disconnection in our digital age, where people crave belonging but feel more isolated than ever. He highlights the dangers of being addicted to technology, both in personal and professional life, leading to disengagement. The solution lies in building real, face-to-face communities through support, encouragement, and accountability. True community fosters belonging, personal growth, and stronger relationships. Using real-life examples, the speaker emphasizes that success and happiness come from helping others achieve their goals, overcoming fear, and forming meaningful connections.
Takeaways
- ๐ก Every human being has a deep longing for belonging, to feel loved, valued, and accepted.
- ๐ฑ We are more digitally connected than ever, yet we feel more isolated and disengaged in personal and professional lives.
- ๐ Gallup reports that 70% of American workers are disengaged, with 18% actively working against their companies' success.
- ๐ True community is essential for well-being, involving shared vision, values, and a sense of belonging with others.
- ๐ช Support, encouragement, and accountability are the three keys to building strong communities.
- ๐ Helping others reach their goals and dreams builds stronger connections and a positive community.
- ๐ Encouragement inspires people to overcome their fears and pursue meaningful aspirations.
- ๐ Accountability in relationships, built on support and encouragement, helps people become who they want to be.
- ๐ฏ Technology can be helpful, but true human connection and community require face-to-face interaction.
- ๐ค Communities built on support, like the Amish response to tragedy, exemplify the power of true community in difficult times.
Q & A
What is the main message of the speaker's presentation?
-The main message is about the importance of building true communities, both in personal and professional settings, to address issues of digital addiction, disengagement, and the longing for belonging that all human beings experience.
How does the speaker describe the relationship between digital connectivity and human isolation?
-The speaker highlights that although we are more connected digitally than ever before, many people feel more alone and isolated because technology distracts us from meaningful, in-person interactions.
What personal example does the speaker provide to illustrate digital addiction?
-The speaker shares a personal story of being distracted by his phone while watching TV, which led his wife to give him a book titled 'How to Break Up with Your Phone.' This made him realize his addiction to his phone.
What alarming statistics does the speaker mention regarding employee engagement?
-The speaker cites a Gallup poll, which reveals that 70% of American workers are disengaged and 18% are actively disengaged, meaning they are working against the success of their companies.
How does the speaker define 'community' in the context of this presentation?
-Community is defined as a group of people who feel they belong together, share the same values, vision, and mission, and support each other in personal and professional growth.
What example does the speaker use to emphasize the power of in-person community?
-The speaker shares an example of people flying from various places to support someone giving a TEDx talk in person, even though they could have watched the livestream for free.
What are the three keys to building a community according to the speaker?
-The three keys to building a community are support (helping others reach their goals), encouragement (helping others overcome fears), and accountability (helping people become the best version of themselves).
How does the speaker explain the concept of accountability in building community?
-Accountability is described as helping people become the person they want to be, rather than simply making sure they do their job. It involves fostering relationships and supporting personal growth.
What impact does encouragement have in the workplace, according to the speaker?
-Encouragement gives people the courage to pursue things they might be afraid to do, leading to greater engagement, personal fulfillment, and success in both professional and personal goals.
How does the speaker connect the idea of community to the Amish response to tragedy?
-The speaker references the Amish community's act of surrounding the widow of a schoolhouse shooter at her husband's funeral to protect her from the media, despite their own loss, as a powerful example of true community support and forgiveness.
Outlines
๐ฑ The Digital Disconnection Dilemma
The speaker begins by addressing the human need for belonging, highlighting how modern digital connectivity often leads to increased isolation rather than community. He shares a personal anecdote about his own addiction to smartphones and discusses how this detachment extends into the workplace. He emphasizes that disengagement is a growing issue, with 70% of American workers being disengaged and 18% actively working against their companies. The speaker introduces the concept of 'community' as a solution to this problem, offering hope for better engagement in both personal and professional settings.
๐ The Power of True Community
The speaker defines community not as a geographical or national entity, but as a group of people with shared vision and values, working together toward a common mission. True community is demonstrated by individuals going to great lengths to support one another. He highlights the limitations of virtual communities, stressing that while technology has its advantages, it cannot replace the physical presence and emotional connection needed for real community. The speaker shares a personal story about the impact of physical community and concludes by reminding the audience of the importance of human touch and face-to-face interactions.
๐ฏ Three Keys to Building Community
The speaker introduces three fundamental keys to creating a sense of community: support, encouragement, and accountability. The first key, support, involves helping others achieve their goals and dreams. He explains that by supporting others, individuals can fulfill their own desires as well. He shares an example of a company that transformed its culture by focusing on the personal goals of its employees. The second key, encouragement, is about giving others the courage to overcome their fears. The speaker emphasizes the need for hope in todayโs world and provides an inspiring story of a martial arts business that changed its approach to focus on encouraging clients. Finally, accountability is described as the process of helping people become the best version of themselves by nurturing personal development, rather than merely enforcing task completion.
๐ฅ Accountability and Potential
The final key, accountability, is explored in more depth. The speaker distinguishes between traditional accountabilityโfocused on task completionโand a more human-centered approach, which helps people become who they want to be. He explains how social media and societal pressures contribute to a decline in mental health, particularly among teenagers, who often feel inadequate due to unrealistic standards. He uses a powerful example of a tragic increase in teen suicide to highlight the consequences of disengagement and lack of support. The speaker closes with an emotional story about the Amish community, illustrating the profound impact of true community and compassion, even in the face of tragedy.
Mindmap
Keywords
๐กBelonging
๐กDisengagement
๐กCommunity
๐กSupport
๐กEncouragement
๐กAccountability
๐กTechnology Addiction
๐กIsolation
๐กLeadership
๐กHuman Touch
Highlights
Every human being has a longing for belonging, a desire to feel loved, valued, and accepted.
Despite being more digitally connected than ever, people often feel more isolated and alone.
The addiction to smartphones is widespread, and many of us have unhealthy relationships with our devices.
Gallup's employee engagement poll reveals that 70% of American workers are disengaged, and 18% are actively working against their company's success.
The key to solving disengagement lies in fostering a sense of community, which can apply to any role in lifeโwhether in leadership, parenthood, or as a student.
Community is defined as a group of people who feel like they belong together, share the same vision and values, and are on a common mission.
True community canโt be replicated virtually; it requires in-person, face-to-face interaction.
Leaders who create true community have a significant advantage, as engaged employees take better care of customers, leading to greater profits.
Support is the first key to community: helping others reach their goals and dreams.
Encouragement is the second key: helping others do things they are afraid to do, giving them courage to pursue their aspirations.
Accountability, the third key, is about helping others become the person they want to be, fostering personal growth and integrity.
A company in Vancouver transformed its culture by focusing on helping employees achieve their personal goals, leading to a thriving community.
Social media and its impact on self-image, particularly among teenage girls, contributes to a rise in depression and anxiety.
The concept of 'true beauty' is emphasized, reminding individuals, particularly girls, that they are inherently valuable and beautiful.
The Amish community demonstrated the power of true community when they surrounded the widow of the Amish schoolhouse shooter to protect her from the media.
Transcripts
Emily how we doing this morning I have a
question for you all how many of you
would agree with this statement that
every human being has a longing for
belonging that we all want to feel loved
and valued and accepted we want our
lives to have meaning right today we're
more connected digitally than ever
before but we seem to feel more alone
and isolated than ever before how many
of you have been in the same room with
someone and they were paying more
attention to their phone than they were
with you how many of you have been that
person I have in fact not too long ago I
was sitting there watching television
while scrolling through endless YouTube
videos and my wife threw a book under my
lap and it says how to break up with
your phone all right after reading that
book I found out that that I'm addicted
and already knew it by the way and fact
I found out that almost everybody who
has a smartphone is addicted I admit it
I have to break up with my phone and the
truth is is that we all have maybe an
unhealthy relationship with the digital
world and the way that we live our
personal lives seems to bleed over into
our work lives in fact the Gallup
Organization has been doing an ongoing
engagement employee engagement poll that
reveals that 70% of American workers are
disengaged 18% are actively disengaged
which means that they're actually
working against the success of your
company the solution there's what I call
community and what this presentation is
all about is how you can harness the
power of community regardless of what
your role is
in life whether you're in leadership in
a company or an organization or a
non-profit a student a child a parent
you can harness the power of community I
work in the business world so I get to
see this on a regular basis I was
traveling on business to Clearwater
Florida and I was on the tenth floor and
it was early in the morning and I
stepped out on the balcony to have a cup
of coffee and look at the beach and and
just look at the beauty and I noticed
that down below on the ground floor
there was a young lady who was supposed
to be washing off the sidewalk she was
supposed to be getting all the sand off
of a sidewalk where the garden hose and
the reason that I knew that is that she
had it's because she had a garden hose
in her left hand but she had something
else more compelling in a right hand and
that was her phone yeah
she was completely disengaged in fact
that water hose kept drifting off into
the bushes as she scrolled on her phone
and then she had realized that and she'd
bring it back to where it needed to be
meanwhile people are going out to the
beach that needed sunscreen they needed
towels they needed beach chairs they
needed all these kinds of things
completely disengaged ABC's 20/20 did a
special a few years ago that rebuild how
employees quit their jobs and flamboyant
ways one guy had a marching band follow
him into the manager's office to quit
his job I mean we're talking about two
boys we're talking about we're talking
about horns drums I mean this was an
experience let me tell you and he filmed
the entire thing of course then it was
on 20/20 another guy walks into a
crowded lunchroom at the company and he
stands up on it on a table and gets
everybody's attention and opens his
shirt to reveal in huge black letters
I quit everybody cheered another study
revealed that the average employee would
forego a 20% raise in order to get their
manager fired think about that for a
second this is 35 let's say of year if
you're making thirty five thousand
dollars a year that's seven thousand
dollars a year plus compounding interest
that's a lot of money we have a problem
today and that problem is an engagement
problem we're engaged digitally more
than ever before but we need true
communities so what is community anyway
in this sense it's not a neighborhood or
nationality although that's important
but in this sense it's a group of people
who feel like they belong together every
human being on planet earth has a
longing for belonging we want to belong
to something that means something we
want to be part of a group that's going
somewhere that's adding value to other
people a community is a group of people
who have the same vision they have the
same values they're on the same mission
together true community you know that
you're in true community with someone
when they'll get up in the middle of the
night for you for any reason you know
that you're in true community with
someone when they'll fly all the way
from why shouldn't state to be here to
watch someone to support someone when
they're going to do a TEDx talk I was
talking with some folks some of the
other speakers and they had several
people that came from distances and I'm
blessed to say that as well that people
have come from all over to support this
in person when they could watch it they
could watch the livestream for free
you guys did know that right that you
could be watching the livestream for
free right now don't leave
my wife was in the car we drove up here
we turned on the live stream for a
little while and watched some of it as
we were driving up here from Houston
this morning and don't do that if you're
by yourself all right
okay you talk a lot about a virtual
community but a virtual community in my
mind is an oxymoron virtual community
and Technology have done some wonderful
things for us the fact that we could
livestream this driving down the road in
fact I told my wife when I get a Tesla
it's going to drive itself and that way
I can text while I drive legally right
and watch movies and work but the point
is is that we've done some amazing
things with technology the the fact that
a soldier in Afghanistan can watch his
baby being born in in live time via
Skype it's amazing but there's something
that you cannot do over the Internet in
fact there's quite a few things that you
can't do over the Internet see true
community requires the human touch in
fact Hayden come over here here's one
thing that you can't do online very
effectively give me a hug
mrs. Hayden y'all and he wanted to say
hi to mom and dad say hi to mom and dad
right and you bet these guys have done
an amazing job and putting this together
these students have worked around the
clock to make this possible for all of
us you know a virtual hug just isn't the
same is it you get a different kind of
endorphin don't you so real community
true community happens in person face to
face there's something about social
media there's something about the
Internet there's something about there's
so much information and so much
knowledge and and so much that we can
engage in but I'm afraid that you know
one we're forgetting about our personal
relationships and the ones that we truly
love but also how much good news do you
really hear today via the media every
day it's another shooting another terror
attack another accident of some kind
every day and that's just the beginning
it repeats the news speed gives you more
and more and more and more information
all throughout the day 24 hours a day
seven days a week
see I learned something from my mentor
the great the late great Zig Ziglar you
are what you are and where you are
because of what has gone into your mind
you can change what you are and where
you are about changing what goes into
your mind phenomenal leaders and by the
way everyone's a leader if you influence
someone else and we all do we're all
leaders phenomenal leaders inspire their
teams while their customers that make
bigger profits in our businesses today
and our universities today in our
organizations today leaders who
understand this concept of creating
community and building community and
understand where people really are today
have a tremendous advantage and how many
of you know that when team members
inspired they're engaged they're in the
game that they're going to take really
good care of the customer is that true
and when the customer is taking care of
that
we're gonna have bigger outcomes we're
going to have better profits so that we
could take better care of our people so
I'd like to share with you it turns out
that building community and creating a
sense of community around us in our in
our local areas and in our companies and
and in our churches even and and all the
spaces that were in it turns out that
there are three simple keys that we if
we would just all do these three simple
things we would all be better off so in
order to create a sense of community it
requires three things number one the
first key is called support and that is
helping others have the life that they
want to have helping others reach their
goals and dreams see the key is is to
help other people reach their goals and
dreams my mentor also said that you can
have everything in life you want if you
just help enough other people get what
it is that they want what do people want
we all want want to be happy we want to
be healthy we want to be at least
reasonably prosperous we want to have
friends we want to have good family
relationships we want to have peace we
want to have hope for the future we want
to be secure all of us do and we can all
have that when we help other people get
that there's a company in Vancouver
Washington that realized the power of
community they had a great company in
fact they made really good profits and
and the company was going really really
well except for one thing the narrative
the culture was all about the next
transaction there in credit card
processing and it was all about the next
transaction the next sale the the number
of clients that we haven't noticed good
it was a good business but today it's a
phenomenal business because they learned
one simple thing they weren't learn one
secret and that is
help their team members reach their
goals of dreams everything changed and
now they have this phenomenal culture of
community is what I call it the second
key is encouragement and encouragement
is helping others do the things that
they're afraid to do we all are afraid
to do something right there's something
that we're afraid of we all have fear of
some kind or another is that true maybe
the people around you are afraid to
write that book they're afraid to run
that marathon they're afraid to take
that promotion they're afraid to maybe
really pursue their dream and this is
why so many people are disengaged and
don't feel like they have meaning today
is because they haven't been released to
go and pursue the things that they
really want to pursue encouragement is
giving others courage that's building
the heart again Zig Ziglar said that
encouragement is the fuel on which hope
runs how many of you would agree that we
need more hope in our world today
there's a global leadership crisis
there's there's the prospects of war
there's all this bad news there's all
this fear we need more hope and we can
encourage one another by helping others
do the things that maybe they're afraid
to do a good example of this is senior
Grand Master Brenda Jay sell now Jones
okay so that wasn't enough names and
Brenda J sell is a ninth dan and take
one dough now is here yesterday doing
the run-through and I was getting the
feedback and someone said I think it's
tight Wanda I know the highest ranking
female in the world it's take one dough
all right and by the way you don't mess
with her if she says this take one dough
guess what it is take one dough
well her late husband started this this
martial arts training business and they
were so harsh and so hard on their
clients and training in martial arts
that most of them quit and they felt
like that was a badge of honor that man
they quit that means that we're tough
we've got the right program but how many
of you know that that's not a very good
business model when your customers are
quitting all the time so they decided to
have a new approach and the new
approaches will encourage people will
tell these kids you can do this don't
quit you can do this don't quit you can
do this that's encouragement and because
of that her late husband became a legend
in that industry she's a living legend
she's inspired so many people around the
world
the third key is accountability and
accountability is not the kind of
accountability that you see practiced in
so many organizations today where it's
do your job
did you get your job done did you do
your job how many of you know that all
business and all of life is about
relationships all of business and all of
life is about relationships and how many
of you know that people will be more
willing to enter into a relationship of
accountability that's built on support
and encouragement I love the social
media meme because accountability in my
mind is becoming the person that you
want to be accountability is helping
people be the person they need to be how
many of us want to be a better person we
all do we all want to have more
character we all want to have more
integrity we all want to be better I
love the social media me and the kittens
looking in the mirror and sees a lion
see that represents your potential you
have more potential than you realize did
you know that The Wall Street Journal
recently did a study and that that child
suicide
it's had doubled in the last decade
what if employers what if leaders what
if educators what if everyone in our
institution realized the challenges that
young people are going through right now
the biggest group teenage girls they
look at the images on their screens and
they think to themselves I can never
look live up to this I can never look
like that so we modify our pictures so
that we look better to everyone else
girls were trying so hard to be pretty
that they forget that they're beautiful
and the truth is is that every single
human being is beautiful every human
being is designed for accomplishment
engineered for success and endowed with
the seeds of greatness I'll close with
this Louie mondo is the widow of the
Amish schoolhouse shooter from several
years ago and if there's a there is no
greater picture representation of
community than the Amish people at her
husband's funeral the Amish community
came around her and created a human
shield a circle around her so that the
media couldn't get to her these are
people whose daughters whose sons had
been murdered that is true community
thank you very much
you
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