“Shut Up and Forgive Your Parents” - Drew Michael - Full Special

Summary

In this comedy routine, Drew Michael shares his experiences with mental health struggles, societal norms, and relationships. He humorously critiques the concept of depression, the absurdity of modern dating, the complexities of monogamy, and the paradox of conservative ideologies leading to progressive outcomes. His candid and self-deprecating humor invites the audience to reflect on serious topics while keeping them engaged and entertained.

Takeaways

• 🎤 The comedian, Drew Michael, addresses the audience with humor and vulnerability, discussing personal issues and societal observations.
• 💔 He jokes about being labeled as a 'devaluing narcissist' by his therapist, highlighting the irony and defensiveness in accepting such a label.
• 😔 Drew brings up the topic of depression, differentiating it from sadness and criticizing the oversimplification of mental health in media commercials.
• 🌧️ He satirizes the idea of medicating people to ignore the harsh realities of life, questioning why those who are content are not the ones being treated.
• 🤔 The comedian ponders the absurdity of life's existential concerns, such as the inevitability of death and the ethical implications of our daily actions.
• 🥂 Drew humorously discusses the negative effects of alcohol on relationships, using a personal anecdote to illustrate the chaos and unfairness of drunken arguments.
• 🍻 He contemplates the concept of 'roofieing' his partner to avoid conflict, using dark humor to express frustration with communication breakdowns.
• 💔 The topic of cheating is addressed with a mix of anger and understanding, as Drew recounts a past relationship and the complexity of原谅 'mistakes'.
• 👰‍♀️ Drew expresses skepticism towards marriage, questioning the need for government involvement in personal relationships.
• 🏳️‍🌈 He acknowledges the progress of gay marriage but critiques the system that still requires couples to validate their love through legal means.
• 🤯 The comedian ends with a surreal hypothetical scenario where hate意外地 leads to progressive ideas, as seen with the example of Oklahoma's marriage ban proposal.

Q & A

What is Drew Michael's self-described personality type according to his therapist?

Drew Michael's therapist describes him as a 'devaluing narcissist'.

How does Drew Michael differentiate between sadness and depression?

Drew Michael explains that sadness is a temporary reaction to something negative happening in life, while depression is a medical condition where one sees things for what they truly are.

What is Drew Michael's perspective on medicating depression?

Drew Michael criticizes the idea of medicating depression, suggesting that it's an attempt to turn the reality of a flawed world into a false sense of happiness, rather than addressing the root causes of unhappiness.

How does Drew Michael describe his own internal dialogue?

Drew Michael describes his internal dialogue as incessant and often self-critical, with voices telling him he's a fraud and won't accomplish anything.

What is Drew Michael's humorous take on dealing with his drunk girlfriend?

Drew Michael humorously suggests that the only solution to dealing with his drunk and combative girlfriend is to 'roofie' her, so she passes out and he can take her home safely.

What is Drew Michael's stance on marriage?

Drew Michael expresses skepticism about marriage, particularly the involvement of the government in personal relationships, and suggests that monogamous relationships should be a private matter between the individuals involved.

How does Drew Michael feel about the concept of cheating in a relationship?

Drew Michael views cheating as a series of mistakes rather than a single mistake, emphasizing the complexity and deliberateness of the act of cheating.

What was Drew Michael's reaction when his girlfriend cheated on him?

Drew Michael was very upset and angry when his girlfriend cheated on him, but he chose not to take it out on her because of the hardships she had previously faced in her life.

How does Drew Michael describe his approach to relationships?

Drew Michael acknowledges his own issues with relationships, such as his narcissistic tendencies and internal dialogue, which make it difficult for him to connect with others and maintain relationships.

What is the humorous and unexpected proposal made by a representative in Oklahoma according to Drew Michael?

Drew Michael recounts a humorous incident where an Oklahoma representative proposed a total ban on marriage in the state, not as a progressive measure, but out of homophobia, inadvertently advocating for a radical progressive stance.

What does Drew Michael suggest as an alternative to the traditional concept of marriage?

Drew Michael suggests that marriage should be a private matter between two individuals, without the need for government involvement or official recognition, implying that love and commitment should not be regulated.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 Struggles with Self-Perception and Depression

The comedian, Drew Michael, opens with a self-deprecating joke about his need for adoration from the audience. He discusses being labeled as a 'devaluing narcissist' by his therapist and reacts with disbelief and humor. Michael delves into his personal battles with depression, distinguishing it from sadness and criticizing the way society tries to medicate depression away with commercials that trivialize the condition. He also ponders the idea of happiness and questions the reality of people's contentment, suggesting that perhaps those who are happy are the ones who aren't seeing the truth about the world.

05:02

🍻 The Complications of Dating and Alcohol

Drew Michael shares a humorous yet thought-provoking story about dating a girl who frequently drank to excess. He describes the challenges of dealing with her irrational behavior when intoxicated, such as public arguments and accusations. Michael comically proposes a hypothetical scenario where he would 'roofie' his girlfriend to prevent her from making a scene, only to take care of her and put her to bed safely. He uses this narrative to explore the complexities of relationships, communication, and the influence of alcohol on behavior.

10:02

💔 Navigating Betrayal and Relationship Woes

The comedian reflects on a past relationship where his partner had a traumatic past and cheated on him. Michael expresses his initial support and commitment to helping her overcome her issues, but is met with betrayal. He humorously unpacks the concept of cheating as 'one mistake' and argues that it's actually a series of deliberate choices. Through his storytelling, he touches on themes of trust, forgiveness, and the emotional turmoil that comes with being cheated on.

15:03

💏 Marriage, Monogamy, and Government Involvement

Drew Michael humorously questions the concept of marriage and the role of the government in personal relationships. He expresses his disbelief at the idea of telling the government about one's love life and criticizes the bureaucratic aspects of marriage. Michael also discusses the progression of gay marriage and the irony of Oklahoma's proposal to ban marriage altogether to prevent gay marriage, inadvertently promoting a more progressive stance on love and relationships. He uses this platform to poke fun at societal norms and the absurdity of certain political stances.

20:05

🎤 Show Closing and Audience Appreciation

Drew Michael concludes his performance with a reflection on the unexpected directions his comedy set took, from personal stories to societal commentary. He thanks the audience for their engagement and participation throughout the show, highlighting the positive reception and the shared experience of laughter and reflection. The set ends on a high note, with the audience cheering and applauding, signifying their appreciation for Michael's unique blend of humor and insight.

Keywords

💡Devaluing Narcissist

The term 'Devaluing Narcissist' refers to a person who exhibits narcissistic traits and tends to devalue others to maintain their own self-worth. In the context of the video, the comedian Drew Michael jokes about his therapist labeling him as such, highlighting his struggle with self-perception and interpersonal relationships. He uses humor to address the complexity of his emotions and the challenges he faces in social interactions.

💡Depression

Depression, as discussed in the video, is a mental health condition characterized by persistent feelings of sadness and a lack of interest or pleasure in activities. The comedian differentiates between sadness, which is a temporary emotional state due to specific events, and depression, which he describes as seeing things for what they truly are. He uses humor to explore societal perceptions of mental health and the oversimplification of treatments like medication.

💡Insecurities

In the context of the video, 'insecurities' refers to the doubts and fears that individuals harbor about themselves, often leading to negative self-perception and interactions with others. The comedian uses the concept of insecurities to reflect on his own behavior and the potential for projecting one's fears onto others, which is a central theme in his exploration of personal relationships and self-awareness.

💡Comedy

Comedy, as a form of entertainment, involves humor and is used to provoke laughter and provide amusement. In the video, Drew Michael uses comedy as a medium to discuss serious topics such as mental health, relationships, and societal norms. He employs humor to address complex and often taboo subjects, making them more accessible and relatable to the audience.

💡Relationships

Relationships in the context of the video refer to interpersonal connections, particularly romantic ones. Drew Michael explores the dynamics of relationships, including the challenges of maintaining them, the impact of personal issues on partners, and the societal expectations surrounding them. He uses humor to navigate the complexities of human connections, highlighting the absurdities and difficulties that can arise.

💡Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the capacity for an individual to recognize and understand their own emotions, motivations, and behaviors. In the video, Drew Michael demonstrates a high level of self-awareness as he humorously critiques his own flaws and thought processes. He uses comedy to reflect on his personal growth and the introspection needed to address his issues.

💡Societal Norms

Societal norms are the unwritten rules that govern behavior within a society. In the video, Drew Michael critiques various societal norms, such as the concept of marriage and the treatment of mental health. He uses humor to question the status quo and encourages the audience to think critically about societal expectations and their impact on individuals.

💡Mental Health Stigma

Mental health stigma refers to the prejudice and discrimination faced by individuals with mental health issues. In the video, Drew Michael addresses the stigma by discussing his own experiences with depression and the stereotypes associated with mental health treatments. He uses humor to break down barriers and promote a more open and understanding perspective on mental health.

💡Projection

Projection is a psychological defense mechanism where individuals attribute their own unwanted thoughts, feelings, or motives to another person. In the video, Drew Michael humorously suggests that his therapist's comments about his narcissism might be a projection of her own insecurities. He uses this concept to explore the dynamics of personal relationships and the human tendency to externalize blame.

💡Humor as a Coping Mechanism

Humor as a coping mechanism refers to the use of humor to deal with difficult situations or emotions. In the video, Drew Michael employs humor to discuss his personal struggles, societal issues, and the complexities of human relationships. By using humor, he is able to address serious topics in a way that is more palatable and engaging for the audience, while also providing a means for himself to process and navigate his experiences.

Highlights

Drew Michael's comedy routine begins with a self-deprecating joke about his need for adoration from the audience.

The comedian pokes fun at his therapist's diagnosis of him being a 'devaluing narcissist', using humor to explore his own insecurities.

Michael discusses the difference between sadness and depression, using his own experiences to provide a deeper understanding of the condition.

A critique of how society and media attempt to medicate depression with a satirical take on pharmaceutical commercials.

The comedian questions the concept of happiness, challenging the audience to consider if those who are happy are truly seeing the world as it is.

Michael humorously addresses the concept of narcissism, explaining his belief that his thoughts are more interesting than others'.

A discussion on the challenges of meeting new people and the impact of one's own ego on social interactions.

The comedian shares a dating anecdote, highlighting the awkwardness and self-centeredness that can arise in social situations.

Michael explores the idea of inner dialogue and the critical voice in his head, adding a layer of vulnerability to his comedy.

A humorous take on the transformative power of alcohol and its impact on relationships, using a past relationship as an example.

The comedian addresses the issue of public intoxication and its effects on behavior, with a satirical suggestion of 'roofieing' his drunk girlfriend.

Michael discusses the complexities of cheating in a relationship, breaking down the idea of it being 'one mistake' into a series of conscious decisions.

The comic shares his views on marriage, questioning the need for government involvement in personal relationships.

A humorous commentary on the absurdity of Oklahoma's proposed marriage ban and its unintended support for progressive values.

Michael ends his routine with a call for less government control over personal lives, using humor to challenge societal norms.

Throughout the routine, Drew Michael uses his personal experiences and observations to craft a comedic narrative that is both relatable and thought-provoking.

The comedian's use of dark humor and satire to discuss serious topics such as mental health, relationships, and societal expectations.

Transcripts

♪ ♪

(audience cheering, whooping)

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, Drew Michael!

(whistling, applause)

Yo.

Thank you very much, thank you.

I need that. Thank you.

I'm broken, so please adore my from afar, that is what I need.

Thank you very much for, uh, coming out.

I don't know what my problems are, actually.

You know, I got problems.

My therapist says I'm a devaluing narcissist.

Yeah, I sat down in the chair, she's like,

"You know what your problem is, Drew, you're a

"devaluing narcissist."

I was like, "Ouch, that's tough to hear.

"Especially from a worthless piece of shit

"who's obviously jealous of me."

Like, I don't know--

(audience chuckling)

"I don't know what your problem is, lady.

"Clearly you have your own insecurities that

"you're projecting onto the smartest person you've ever met.

"Is that--

"--something a-all dumb, ugly people do, or just you?"

I get depressed a lot, I don't know if anyone here

gets depressed, but depression's interesting,

because people who don't get depressed,

they always think that you're sad.

No, sadness and depression are very different things, right?

Sadness is, like, something happens in your life

and temporarily you feel sad about it.

Depression is a medical condition where you

see things for what they are.

That's what depression is.

People are like, "Hey, what's wrong?"

You're like, "But I-- I don't know, the truth?

"Like, what are you--

"What do you not see?"

Like, they try to medicate you when you're depressed,

which I think is kind of (bleep) up.

They have those commercials, like it's something wrong

with you, like, "Are you down?"

"Are you a little rain cloud hopping around?"

(laughter)

"Take this drug, turn that rain into sunshine."

It's like, "Yeah, but, maybe I'm down 'cause I noticed

"the world is (bleep) up, like, what are you not--"

Like, happy people, what the (bleep)?

Like, what are you not seeing?

Shouldn't happy people be medicated?

Isn't that the illness?

Right, the commercials shouldn't be, "Are you down?"

The commercials should be, "Are you thrilled to be here?

"Like--"

"Do you have an easy time meeting people

"or making friends?

"Do you get along seamlessly at work functions?

"Well, take a pill, you (bleep)ing sociopath,

"what is wrong with you?"

How is that just how you are?

You're fine with all of this?

No fear, no anxiety, nothing? None?

Do you not know you're dying, mother(bleep)?

Like, that doesn't bother you once a day

the fact that this all ends at the end, one day just--

Oh! Black forever, there's no stopping it?

Life is just slowly leaking out of your future corpse,

there's nothing you can do, you try to hold the life in,

but that's actually wasting your life,

you're supposed to live in the moment, but it's hard,

'cause your phone is made by slaves.

You're complicit in a violent system.

There is no escape.

The only way out is to get a gun and--

it's a weird commercial, like, I don't know why--

I don't know why it gets so heavy, that's too heavy

for a thirty second Super Bowl ad, I think.

That's why it's like,

I'm not a nar-- narcissist implies that, like,

I don't value other people, but that's not what it is.

I just think my thoughts are more interesting than theirs.

Which is not true, I'm not right, that's just

my own relative truth.

But when you believe that, it's difficult to meet new people.

To bring new people into your life.

And I notice this when I try and date, like, I go on a date,

come home, my roommate's like, "Hey, how'd the date go?"

I'm like, "I don't know, fine."

He's like, "You gonna see her again?"

I'm like, "No, probably not."

He's like, "Well, what happened?

"You were gone, like, all night, you didn't like her?

"You didn't have fun? It wasn't fun?"

It's like, "Yeah, no, it was fun, but, it was fun because

"I was there, like, that's why--"

That's why it was good. You ever have that?

Where you're like, "Hey, this is cool, but it's 'cause

"I am crushing it right now.

"That's why this is functioning as a dialogue."

"If I left, this whole thing would fall apart.

"This isn't-- I don't, I don't need you here for this.

"I don't need to drop 90 bucks to have someone

"sit with me while I'm right."

You know?

But it's, it's me, like, I'm the issue.

Like, I know that, I know it's not other people.

I have my own issues, I'm, like, in my head a lot,

which is hard to deal with.

I have a lot of just, like, incessant, just--

All day, just voices just going off.

And it's not good, it's not, like, self-affirming.

Like, "You're doing great!"

It's like, "(bleep) you, fraud."

"Piece of shit, you're not gonna accomplish anything."

"Oh, good, your name is on a screen.

"Comedy isn't art, just shut up and forgive your parents."

Like, all day.

Drinking's interesting because it does--

it turns you into a different person.

And I don't, you know, I dated a girl who--

She drank a lot and, it, it was, it was cool up until it wasn't.

(chuckles)

We would get into fights.

Like, she would be drunk and I wouldn't be,

and it was an unfair fight, 'cause I'm not fighting

a person, I'm just dodging bricks of illogic that are

being hurled at me.

And she would start fights at the most inopportune times.

She would start fights in the middle of a bar,

packed bar, one in the morning, and she would say some shit

that I-- there's no real response, but I had to respond.

She would just, "You're not creative!"

Like, oh, well, what's my line to that?

You want me to paint you a mural, like,

how am I supposed to fix that?

"How about you shut the (bleep) up?"

She's like, "Don't tell me to shut the (bleep) up."

I'm like, "Well, everyone's looking at us now."

She's like, "Good, let 'em look.

"You don't pay enough attention to me anyway.

"You don't tell me I'm beautiful enough.

"You don't think I'm beautiful?"

Like, one eye half twitching open.

Like, "You don't--"

"You don't think I'm beautiful?

"You don't think other guys want to (bleep) me?

"All these guys here, they all want to (bleep) me.

"Okay, mister? I could (bleep) any one of these guys."

"Don't?"

Yeah, let's not do that, how about? Like, what?

She's like, "I could (bleep) your friends, too.

"They all look at me."

"Shut the (bleep) up!"

"Stop listing people you could (bleep), this game sucks!"

But I don't know how to make it stop.

How do I get out of it?

You can't reason with her, you can't hit her,

what do you do?

Can we just agree that this is the one and only time

that it should be socially acceptable

to roofie another person.

Can we all just say--

Hands in, this is the only time.

Don't get weird 'cause you associate the roofie with sex

Okay? There's no sex in my situation.

Just roofie her and take her home.

I'm not a piece of shit.

Look, there's no law that says when you roofie someone,

you have to (bleep) them.

They improvised that.

I would not do that.

Right, if you drug someone and (bleep) them,

that's on you.

Don't blame the drug for that.

It's not a rape drug, you're a rapist.

You are a rapist who uses a prop, by the way, like--

You're a prop rapist, which is the lamest version

of the shittiest thing.

Yeah, you're like the Carrot Top of horrific human behavior.

And that's something you should have to shoulder

the responsibility for on your own.

Don't try to make it the dr-- the pi-- the capsule's fault.

It was you. But I wouldn't do that, I'm not a bad guy.

I would just roofie her, pick her up, call an Uber.

You know, take her home, carry her up the stairs

to her apartment, tuck her in bed,

take her contact lenses out, put them in the case

with the solution, you know?

Get floss and, like, floss her unconscious head.

This is my girlfriend after all, you know?

Then I'd go to bed with her.

We wake up in the morning, she's all groggy, like,

"Oh, my God, what happened last night?"

It's like, "Well, what happened?

"You were saying some, like, crazy stuff

"that was gonna make me leave you.

"But, luckily I love you too much to let that happen

"so, I roofied you."

Like, "I-- I did it.

"Yeah, there was nothing-- I-I roofied you

"to save the relationship.

"You're welcome." Like, I don't know what else to do.

What else are you supposed to do?

It's kind of like when your internet stops working.

What do you do?

You unplug the modem for, like, 60 seconds,

and then you plug it back in and it's fine.

It's the same exact solution.

You can't reason with the modem.

Like, "Okay, you're a beautiful modem,

"I don't think you're crazy, I just think it would be cool if

"you went back to blinking green."

It's not gonna work.

You gotta knock it out, it's the same with her.

She's like, "I'm gonna (bleep) your friends."

Oh-- Oh. And she's out.

Then in the morning, you plug her back in--

Voop! Your relationship is back at five bars.

You're good to go. You're back online.

Full signal strength.

In a functioning relationship again.

I don't want that to come across as sexist, by the way.

'Cause I know I am talking about roofieing women.

Uh... That's just who I date.

Yeah, if you date dudes, roofie them, too.

I feel like dudes should get roofied

more than they do anyway.

You know?

Not to (bleep) them, just to prevent them from doing

the shit that they do.

Like, every bar in the, in the city, in the corner,

should just have, like, a pile of six knocked-out dudes

just like--

A heap of cologne and button-down shirts

just like, (groans)

"What happened over there?"

The bartender's like, "Oh, they were creeping out some girls,

"so we had to neutralize, uh--"

Just to-- (chuckles)

Some janitor pushing them in the corner with a giant broom.

Into that pile of entitlement.

Yeah, it was a feminist date rape joke.

Uh, suggesting that, perhaps, men are even better

at feminism-- oh, I'm kidding.

Yeah, you want to take back that applause now, don't you?

This is a fun gig.

I like doing it.

I wanted to be a musician when I was younger.

I like-- one thing I like that musicians do that's cool is,

they, uh, before they play a song, they can tell you

where the song came from.

And explain, like, where it came from.

I went to go see one of my favorite singer-songwriters

Jason Isbell.

Yeah, okay.

Sure. Yeah.

He's great.

And, uh, before he played a song,

he said, uh, to the audience, he said, uh,

"You know, I went to high school with this guy,

"and, uh, he asked his girlfriend to marry him

"in the parking lot of the football stadium,

"she said 'yes,' they got pregnant with a girl,

"and he went off to war overseas and died, didn't come back,

"and then the girl was born.

"So anyway, this next song is about them."

And everyone was instantly touched.

There was, like, a, a beautiful feeling in the crowd

that added this layer of depth and poetry to the whole thing.

And it was amazing.

And I wish I could do that with some of the stories

that I tell, 'cause some of them warrant, you know,

an explanation, like, I was in a relationship in the past

that was insane.

It was insane.

She had been through Hell and back, I had never heard

a story like this, she never told anyone about it until me.

I was the first person she ever told,

and she told me this story, and she was worried

it would scare me away, but I said,

"You know what, it's not your fault that it's happened to you,

"I'm gonna stick with you

and we'll get through this together."

And that intimacy scared her, so she went off

and she cheated on me, and I was--

Really (bleep)ing mad, like, "What-- you did what?"

But I didn't want to take it out on her,

'cause she'd already been through so much

shit in her life, so I just had to sit there

with the anger, with nowhere to put it.

Just kind of letting it build inside of me

with no outlet for it.

You know?

(clears throat) So, anyway, this next joke...

It's about that!

Sing along if you know it!

You guys know this one.

I, uh, I'd never been cheated on before, it was-- it's not good.

It lives up to the hype. You know?

Cheating, it's not-- it brings up just--

trust and abandonment issues just, (groans)

Like, it's bad.

And I told her, I said, "I think this is a deal-breaker for me.

"I don't think I can-- I think this is it."

And she, she said something I think a lot of people say

after they cheat.

She said, "I'm sorry, I made a mistake.

"I made one mistake."

Like, "Can you just forgive my one mistake?"

Like, "I love you, can you maybe get past this one mistake?

"Can we work through this one mistake?

"Can you just forgive this one mis--"

It's like, "Wh-- one?"

One mista-- how is cheating one mistake?

Cheating is like fifty mistakes in a row.

One mistake is, like, you take someone else's coat

by accident.

That's one mistake.

You add the tip wrong on a credit card reciept.

That's one mistake.

Cheating is a complex algorithm of steps.

All the steps are necessary in order to pull off

the task of cheating.

Right, you know how easy it is not to (bleep) somebody?

Like, I have not (bleep) almost every person ever, like--

It's pretty easy, like, cheating is not one mistake,

it's a series of mistakes you made in succession.

You texted him, you met him at a bar, you got drinks with him,

you got too many drinks with him, you went back to his

apartment, you laid down on his bed, you made out with him,

you took off his clothes, you took off your clothes,

you got his dick hard, you got your pussy wet,

you used it to (bleep) his dick over and over and over

until it (bleep) onto you and then you were like,

"Oh-ho-ho, whoops!"

No!

How is that one mistake?

What, did you slip and all that stuff just happened?

Like, you can't--

That's a process.

You cannot say a whole process is one mistake.

Nobody ever bakes a cake, gets all the ingredients

from the store, follows the recipe step by step,

puts it into the oven, takes it out and is like,

"Oh, shit, a cake?

"I meant to do my taxes!"

Like...

(softly) No.

You can't mail the IRS a bundt cake, they're gonna be like,

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Sorry, I made one mistake."

I don't know what's next for me, you know, I'm 31.

(sighs) Lot of my friends are getting married.

I don't want to get married.

You know?

I can't believe people still get married.

It's like, "What are you, two?"

"Oh, this is my wife."

It's like, "Dude, grow up.

"You're 35, your 'wife?'

"Okay."

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking the idea of monogamy.

If you find someone you can be with

and you want to make it work, I think that's, that's great.

Truly. You have, you have the perseverence, the love,

the commitment, the trust.

To make that work?

That's a beautiful thing and you should hold onto that.

I just don't think you should tell anyone about it.

You know? Certainly not the government.

That's, like, a weird first step.

Like, you're in bed with the person you love

more than anything, eyes are enflammed with passion,

like, "I love you."

"I love you, too."

It's like, "I'm gonna love you until I die."

It's like, "(gasps) Holy shit, we should let the people

"who run the DMV know.

"We should tell them."

Like, gay marriage was tough for me because,

obviously, I support it, when it passed, it was a great thing,

but, I don't like this idea that people call it this, like,

radically progressive movement, 'cause it's, like, the

government still has a say in who's allowed to get married.

Which is we-- like, like, I feel like, like the progressive

stance is getting the government out of it completely,

just let people love whoever they want, however they want,

without having to go through this, like,

labyrinth of mazes and stamps in order to get there.

Right? And no state, no state was talking about

that solution except for one.

You know who it was?

Oklahoma.

Yeah, unlikely state.

Wasn't New York or California--

Oklahoma, Okla-- this is true-- Oklahoma had a representative

who proposed a total marriage ban, statewide,

no more marriage, just so gay people could never get married.

(laughter)

Yeah, which is insane, but very hilarious.

(chuckles)

'Cause, no, that means Oklahoma accidentally

homophobed its way into radical progressive thinking.

That is, by far, the most advanced discussion

on the subject, and it's driven by bigotry.

It's like, (Southern accent) "I don't think the state needs

"to be involved in love at all."

(normal accent) But because of hate, like,

it's like a magic trick where they shove bigotry into a

box and wave a wand and then progress pops out.

The other side's like, "How'd the hell they do that?"

I don't know, they're amazing. It's that meeting.

I wish I were at that meeting to see what other ideas

were proposed, you know?

To see what other, like, radically progressive

ideas the could conjure that were fueled by hatred.

"You know what we gotta do?

"We gotta ban marriage all together.

"That way them (bleep) can never participate!"

They're like, "Oh, my God, that's genius!"

They're writing on their scratch pad.

Someone else stands up like, "You know what else

"we gotta do?

"We gotta dissolve our currency.

"Set up what's called a 'resource-based economy,'

"establish a more egalitarian distribution of wealth.

"This will make the pursuit of individual wealth

"an unecessary and irrelevant endeavour which will help

"end the tyrany of nepotism as well as the virtual

"monopolies of corporations.

"This will then slowly deprogram the state and corporate-backed

"propaganda that rots our minds and poisons our souls

"which will then restore the complexion of our cultural

"and individual psychology to where oneself's identity

"is no longer linked to the market value of his

"commercial function, but rather to the spontaneous

"actualization of his spiritual desires.

"There would be no need for 'laws' because the guiding

"principals of society would arrise organically as the

"unwritten negotiations between our communal needs.

"This would render the very idea of a central government

"fundamentally absurd.

"Would help--

"Would help irradicate the farcical existence of

"campaign politics all together, we would watch

"the traditional socio-economic heirarchy crumble

"as well as the dissolution of the nation states

"as we entered into a stable, harmonious, utopian

"relationship with Mother Nature, and then that way,

"we never have to worry about our country being run

"by a bunch of goddamned Jews."

The whole time it's 'cause he hates Jews.

Thank you very much.

You've been amazing, thank you.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, Drew Michael.

(cheers, applause)

♪ ♪

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, Drew Michael.

(cheers, applause)