10 MOST COMMON ETIQUETTE MISTAKES | Do Not Do This!

Summary

In this informative video, international social etiquette consultant Jamila Musayeva outlines 10 common etiquette mistakes to avoid. She advises promptly thanking gift givers, using 'you're welcome' instead of 'no problem,' addressing elders with respect, allowing women to initiate handshakes in social settings, sneezing into your elbow, not pointing with fingers, correctly pronouncing names, not returning used utensils to a tablecloth, identifying your drink glass correctly, and holding a teacup without extending the pinky. Musayeva's insights aim to enhance viewers' social graces and prevent awkward situations.

Takeaways

• 🎁 Always thank the gift giver promptly upon receiving the gift, even before opening it.
• 🙅‍♀️ Respond to 'Thank you' with 'You're welcome' or 'It was my pleasure' instead of 'No problem'.
• 👵 Use 'Hi' or 'Hello' when greeting elders or people you don't know, avoiding informal 'Hey'.
• 🤝 In social settings, wait for women to initiate a handshake to avoid discomfort.
• 🤧 Sneeze into your elbow or upper left palm and turn your head away from others.
• 👉 Avoid pointing at people with your finger; use your whole hand to gesture.
• 📝 Double-check the spelling and pronunciation of someone's name to show respect.
• 🍽️ Once utensils have been used, they should remain on the plate and not go back on the tablecloth.
• 🥂 Remember the 'b' for bread and 'd' for drink rule to avoid picking up the wrong glass at a table.
• 🍵 When drinking tea, hold the cup with your index and thumb pinched through the handle, with pinky tucked inwards.

Q & A

What is the first etiquette mistake mentioned by Jamila Musayeva in the video?

The first etiquette mistake mentioned is not thanking the gift giver on time. It's important to acknowledge the receipt of a gift as soon as possible and then follow up with a detailed thank you note after opening the gift.

Why is it incorrect to respond to 'Thank you' with 'No problem'?

Responding to 'Thank you' with 'No problem' implies that the task was a burden or a problem, which is not the sentiment you want to convey. The correct responses are 'You're welcome' or 'It was my pleasure', as they indicate that you were happy to help.

What is the appropriate way to greet someone older or someone you don't know?

When greeting someone older or someone you don't know, it's more appropriate to use 'Hi' or 'Hello' instead of 'Hey', as 'Hey' can be considered informal and not suitable for such interactions.

Why should a man wait for a woman to extend her hand first during a handshake in a social setting?

In a social setting, women are given priority, and it's considered polite for them to decide whether or not to initiate a handshake. A man should wait for a woman to extend her hand first to avoid making her feel uncomfortable.

How should one sneeze politely and hygienically?

To sneeze politely and hygienically, one should sneeze into the elbow or the upper part of the left palm, and turn their head away from others. This prevents the spread of germs, especially since the right hand is often used for handshakes.

Why is it considered rude to point at people with your fingers?

Pointing at people with your fingers is considered rude in many cultures because it can come off as aggressive or disrespectful. Instead, one should use an open hand to gesture towards the person they are referring to.

What is the proper way to handle utensils after using them during a meal?

Once utensils have been used, they should not be placed back on the tablecloth. They should either remain on the plate if you are taking a break or be placed in a specific position on the plate to indicate that you have finished eating.

How can one avoid picking up the wrong glass at a social gathering?

To avoid confusion, one can mentally associate the right-hand side with 'drinks' (D for right hand) and the left-hand side with 'bread and butter' (B for left hand). This helps remember which glass is yours when you return to your seat.

What is the correct way to hold a teacup according to etiquette?

The correct way to hold a teacup is by pinching the handle with your index finger and thumb, using your middle finger for support, and tucking your ring finger and pinky inwards. There's no need to extend your pinky while drinking tea.

What does Jamila Musayeva suggest doing if you're unsure of how to pronounce someone's name?

If you're unsure of how to pronounce someone's name, Jamila Musayeva suggests asking the person directly for the correct pronunciation. This shows respect and ensures that you address them correctly in future interactions.

Why is it disrespectful to have your utensils on the tablecloth after eating?

It's disrespectful to have your utensils on the tablecloth after eating because it can imply that you are not done with your meal or that you are making a mess. The correct etiquette is to keep used utensils on the plate.

Outlines

00:00

🎁 Timely Gift Acknowledgment

Jamila Musayeva, an international social etiquette consultant and author, discusses common etiquette mistakes in her video. She emphasizes the importance of promptly thanking gift givers upon receiving a gift. Even before opening it, one should express gratitude for the gesture. After opening, a follow-up message should be sent to appreciate the specific gift. She also advises noting the thoughtfulness of the giver.

05:02

🙅‍♀️ Avoiding 'No Problem' Responses

Jamila points out that responding to 'Thank you' with 'No problem' is a modern etiquette faux pas. Traditional responses like 'You're welcome' or 'It's my pleasure' are more appropriate as they do not imply the task was burdensome. She encourages adhering to these traditional responses to maintain politeness.

👵 Respectful Greetings for Elders

The video script mentions that greeting elders or unfamiliar individuals with a simple 'hey' is impolite. Instead, one should use 'hi' or 'hello'. This practice shows respect and acknowledges the age or unfamiliarity of the person being greeted.

🤝 Waiting for Women to Initiate Handshake

In social settings, it is considered proper etiquette for men to wait for women to extend their hand for a handshake first. This rule acknowledges the social precedence given to women and avoids putting them in uncomfortable situations. However, in business settings, rank and position dictate who initiates the handshake, regardless of gender.

🤧 Correct Way to Sneeze

Jamila advises against sneezing into the palm of the right hand, as it can lead to the spread of germs, especially before a handshake. Instead, one should sneeze into the elbow or the upper part of the left palm and turn away from others to maintain hygiene.

👉 Avoid Pointing Fingers at People

The script highlights that using fingers to point at people during conversations is considered rude in many cultures. As an alternative, one should use an open hand to gesture towards the person being referred to, which is a more polite way of directing attention.

📝 Proper Name Pronunciation and Spelling

Mispronouncing or misspelling someone's name is disrespectful and shows a lack of attention to detail. Jamila suggests double-checking the spelling of names in written communication and capitalizing the first letter. If unsure of pronunciation, it's acceptable to ask the person for the correct way to say their name.

🍽️ Utensil Placement After Use

Once utensils have been used during a meal, they should not be placed back on the tablecloth but should remain on the plate. This practice maintains cleanliness and order on the dining table.

🥂 Identifying Your Glass

To avoid confusion about which glass is yours at a social gathering, Jamila suggests using a mental mnemonic. By associating the right hand with the letter 'd' for drinks and the left hand with 'b' for butter and bread, one can remember that their drink glasses should be on the right side of their setting.

☕️ Correct Tea Drinking Etiquette

The video corrects a common misconception about tea drinking etiquette. It is not proper to extend the pinky finger while holding a teacup. Instead, one should hold the cup with the index finger and thumb pinching the handle, using the middle finger for support, and tucking the ring finger and pinky inwards.

Keywords

💡Etiquette

Etiquette refers to the conventional rules or standards for polite behavior in society or among members of a specific profession or group. In the video, etiquette is the central theme as the speaker discusses common mistakes and provides guidance on proper conduct. For example, the speaker mentions the etiquette mistake of not thanking gift givers on time, which reflects the importance of expressing gratitude promptly as per social norms.

💡Gift Giver

A gift giver is a person who presents a gift to someone else. In the context of the video, the speaker emphasizes the etiquette of thanking the gift giver promptly upon receiving a gift, highlighting the social expectation to acknowledge and appreciate the gesture of giving.

💡No Problem

The phrase 'No problem' is often used as a casual response to 'Thank you.' However, the speaker points out that it is an etiquette mistake because it implies that the act of kindness was burdensome. The correct responses, as per the speaker, should be 'You're welcome' or 'It's my pleasure,' which convey a sense of willingness and pleasure in helping.

💡Greeting

Greeting is the act of acknowledging someone's presence in a friendly or polite way. The video script mentions that greeting elder people or strangers with a simple 'hey' is an etiquette mistake. Instead, using 'hi' or 'hello' is more appropriate, reflecting respect and formality in social interactions.

💡Handshake

A handshake is a form of non-verbal communication where two people grasp each other's hand, typically as a greeting or to signify the completion of a deal. The speaker explains that in social settings, it is considered proper etiquette for a woman to extend her hand first for a handshake, allowing her to maintain control over the interaction.

💡Sneezing

Sneezing is a sudden, forceful expulsion of air through the nose and mouth. The video discusses the etiquette of sneezing, advising against doing so into the palm of the right hand since it is commonly used for handshakes, which can spread germs. Instead, one should sneeze into the elbow or the upper part of the left hand.

💡Pointing

Pointing is the act of indicating direction or location by extending a finger or hand. The speaker in the video advises against using fingers to point at people during conversations as it is considered rude in many cultures. Instead, one should use an open hand to gesture towards individuals.

💡Name Pronunciation

Name pronunciation is the act of speaking someone's name correctly. The video emphasizes the importance of correctly pronouncing and spelling someone's name as a sign of respect. Mispronouncing or misspelling a name can be seen as disrespectful and can lead to a lack of credibility or seriousness in communication.

💡Utensils

Utensils are tools or instruments used in eating or cooking, such as knives, forks, and spoons. The script mentions an etiquette rule that once utensils have been used while eating, they should not be placed back on the tablecloth but should remain on the plate, indicating attention to cleanliness and orderliness during meals.

💡Glass

A glass is a container used for holding and drinking liquids. The video script describes a common mistake of picking up the wrong glass at social gatherings. To avoid this, the speaker suggests a mnemonic device using the shapes of the letters 'b' and 'd' to remember the placement of drinks and bread, respectively.

💡Tea Drinking

Tea drinking refers to the act of consuming tea, often associated with certain manners and customs. The video corrects a common misconception about holding the teacup with the pinky extended, which is portrayed as incorrect etiquette. The proper way, as explained, is to hold the teacup with the thumb and index finger, using the middle finger for support, while the ring finger and pinky are tucked in.

Highlights

Not thanking the gift giver on time is a common etiquette mistake.

It's important to thank the gift giver as soon as you receive the gift.

Responding to 'Thank you' with 'No problem' is considered impolite.

The correct response to 'Thank you' is 'You're welcome' or 'It's my pleasure'.

Greeting elders or unknown people with 'hey' is inappropriate.

In social settings, wait for a woman to extend her hand first for a handshake.

In business settings, the hierarchy determines who initiates a handshake.

Sneezing into the palm of your right hand is impolite and unhygienic.

Sneeze into your elbow or upper left palm and turn your head away.

Using fingers to point at people is considered rude in many cultures.

Use your full hand to gesture towards people instead of pointing with fingers.

Mispronouncing or misspelling someone's name is disrespectful.

Always double-check the spelling of someone's name in written communication.

If unsure of pronunciation, ask the person for the correct way to say their name.

Used utensils should not be placed back on the tablecloth.

Place used utensils on your plate when taking a break or after finishing your meal.

To avoid picking up the wrong glass, visualize the 'b' and 'd' rule for placement.

Drinking glasses should be on the right side according to the 'b' and 'd' rule.

Holding your pinky out while drinking tea is a common misconception.

The proper way to hold a teacup is without extending the pinky finger.

Transcripts

Hello, I'm Jamila Musayeva. An

international social etiquette

consultant and the author of two books

Etiquette: The Least You Need to Know and

Afternoon Tea Etiquette.

In today's video, I'm gonna address 10

etiquette mistakes that I

often encounter. I'm gonna mention each

and every one of them

and then tell you why you shouldn't be

doing that. Common etiquette mistake

number one is

not thanking the gift giver on time. A

lot of people are faulty of this. They often

forget to thank the giver on time or

even at all.

It's important to make sure that as soon

as you receive the gift, that you are

able to see the gift,

that you write to the giver, "Thank you,

I've received your gift."

Even if you still haven't had the chance

to open the gift and see what's inside,

once you know that the gift has arrived,

you have to write the giver.

Let them know that you've received it

and then follow up with another message

once you've unpacked the gift to say

"Thank you for this particular gift that

you've given."

And then, note the good things about the

gift or how thoughtful the giver was

to consider that while giving it to you.

Common etiquette mistake number two is

responding to "Thank you," with "No problem."

A lot of people are doing this mistake.

It's something that we have recently

incorporated into our daily vocabulary

to respond to a thank you with a no

problem.

It used to be just "You're welcome," or "It's

my pleasure," which is the correct way to

answer.

Because think about it, when you respond

to a thank you with a no problem,

it assumes that whatever the person has

asked you to do was actually a burden. It

was a problem.

So now, they're acknowledging that it's

not a problem for them.

That's why it's important to always

stick to the old ways of responding

that is you're welcome or just simply it

was a pleasure for me or the pleasure

was all mine.

Common etiquette mistake number three is

greeting elder people or people that you

don't know

with a simple hey. I've seen this been

done on the streets. I've seen this done

and messages, emails, even for social

media

platforms. You have to make sure that you

address someone you don't know for the

first time

or someone who's older than you with a

hi or hello.

Do not use the word hey. It's not

appropriate for someone who's older

or for someone that you don't personally

know. The fourth common etiquette mistake

that

can lead to a lot of uncomfortable

situations is when a man

extends his hand for a handshake towards

a woman in a social setting

first. And I want to emphasize the word

social setting.

Because in a social setting, the priority

is always given to females,

so women have more authority to decide

where to sit

and they get the best view and they get

to decide whether or not they want to

handshake a man.

In that case, in a social setting, always

wait for a woman to extend her

hand first. If you don't wait for that

and a man,

you being a man extend your hand first

towards a woman,

she might not respond to it at all and

your hand is going to be just hanging

there

which is not going to make you feel

comfortable at all or you'll put the

woman in an uncomfortable situation

where she has to respond,

but she's not really willing to do so. In

business etiquette, however,

gender doesn't play any role. It's the

rank, the position that you occupy

that will determine who needs to extend

the hand to whom first.

Common etiquette mistake number five is

when you are sneezing

into the palm of your right hand. So when

you just hold yourself like that

and you sneeze like that, it's not right.

It's impolite.

It is not hygienic because usually, we

use our right hand to extend for a

handshake.

Therefore, the likelihood of you

transferring your germs to someone else

is a lot higher. What you have to do is

either sneeze into the elbow of your

hand like that

or you can use the left palm of your the

upper palm of your hand like that.

And you should turn away your head away

from the person you're talking to when

you need to sneeze.

So if you need to sneeze, just apologize

and do like that,

and cover your mouth. Common etiquette

mistake number

six is using your fingers to point at

people that you're talking about.

Let's say you're at a meeting and you

need to say that I don't know, Ana raised

this point,

and you're just using your finger to

point at Ana and someone else,

and then someone else we're referring to

people. It is very

rude in a lot of cultures to point at

people using your finger.

So instead, what you have to do is use

your full hand

to gesture towards the person. So say Ana

said this

and then John said this, instead of using

your fingers to point at people.

Common etiquette mistake number seven is

mispronouncing or misspelling someone's

name.

This looks so obvious and it seems like

why would anyone misspell or

mispronounce someone's name especially

when they can see the name.

But I assure you, I get tons of emails

where people have misspelled my name.

And either, you know they've addressed me

as Jammy or

Jamelia, or people see how I sign off my

name in an email and then still address

me in the wrong way.

I think it means that people don't pay

attention to your name which is

something that's so disrespectful

towards the person that you're

addressing, so make sure to double check

that you're actually using the person's

name

to spell it when you're writing to them

as well as

capitalize the first letter, obviously.

I can, I can't just tell you how many

emails I get with my name

with a small letter in it. I think it's

so disrespectful towards the person. And

then immediately, it just

throws you off and you don't take the

email seriously that much.

So pay attention to the way you spell

someone's name because

every person loves their name and loves

to hear their name actually.

And when you are addressing someone in

person, make sure

you pronounce it correctly. And if you

don't know how to pronounce,

it's okay to ask could you please help

me? Could you tell me how

is the right way to pronounce someone

your name? And

I assure you the person will prefer that

you ask that question

instead of using a wrong name or

mispronounced name

throughout the whole conversation. Common

etiquette mistake number eight

is once you have picked up your utensils

and ate something,

those utensils that have been used can

never go back on a tablecloth.

You have to make sure that they remain

on your plate either like that, if you're

taking a break.

Or if you have finished, you'll just

place them in this position.

Or then again, you can switch and use into

this position.

But once they have touched the food, they

have to remain

on the plate. Never put them back on a

tablecloth.

Common etiquette mistake number nine is

picking up the wrong

glass. I have seen this done so many

times at different parties,

birthday celebrations where people

confused after, you know,

they stand, they stood up, they danced, they

came back to their seat,

and they confused which of these two are

actually their glass.

So in order not to confuse that, you need

to remember this rule.

Visualize in your mind. You can train

yourself to do it at home. And then, when

you're

out, you can just do it in your head. So

this is your left hand.

And if you do a circle like that, it

represents a letter b.

And if you put your fingers like that in

your right hand, it's going to represent

a letter d.

So the letter d stands for your drinks

and the letter b stands for your butter

and bread.

So when you have mentally done this

image,

you will know that your drink glasses

everything that you're drinking, all the

glasses

will be placed on the right hand side. So

once you take a seat,

you will know visually okay this is

where it has to be and this is my glass.

So don't reach out to take the glass off

the person who seated next to you.

Common mistake number ten and the final

one for this video

is holding your pinky out when you're

drinking a cup of tea.

It seems like we already know it and we

have already talked about it so so many

times.

But recently, I was watching a video on

youtube

Architectural Digest was visiting the

home of Tommy Hilfiger.

And the last episode or the last scene

was where his wife

and him were enjoying a cup of tea, and

she tells him

to put his pinky out and that was the

right way of drinking the tea.

I will let you watch this part of the

video and we'll come back to discuss

some more

every cup and no you have to have it

your pinky.

Ding the pinky up is the proper that's

right. Let's see

a little more angle. There you go. Good

and then

sip.

Perfect. So the right way of holding the

teacup,

is pinching your index finger and your

thumb

through this handle, then using your

middle finger as a support,

and then your ring finger and your pinky

is tucked inwards like that so you're

holding the teacup

just like this. There's no need to extend

your pinky.

If this is something that you enjoyed

looking at some common etiquette

mistakes,

please do let me know down in the

comment section below. If you would like

to see a series of these videos and, I'll

be more than happy to shoot new ones for

you.

Thank you for attention and I'll see you in

my next video. Bye.

[Music]