Master the Art of Seduction

Robert Greene
31 Aug 202312:37

Summary

TLDRThe transcript delves into the art of seduction, emphasizing its significance beyond sexual attraction to include winning people's favor and selling ideas. It outlines various seductive archetypes like the Siren, Rake, Dandy, Natural, Coquette, Star, and Charismatic, highlighting their unique traits and impact. The essence of effective seduction is being outward-focused, understanding others' needs, and offering validation and attention. It contrasts this with anti-seductive behaviors like tightness and lack of generosity. The importance of maintaining enchantment and mystery in relationships is also discussed, as well as the allure of drama and the desire to escape the mundane.

Takeaways

  • 🌟 Seduction is a broad concept that goes beyond sexual attraction, encompassing the ability to draw people to your side, sell ideas, and master various aspects of social interaction.
  • 🧝‍♀️ The Siren represents the epitome of seductive power, embodying intense yet subtle sexual energy that can be felt but not overtly displayed, attracting without direct advances.
  • 🎭 Different seductive archetypes exist, such as the Rake (a man with an insatiable interest in women), the Dandy (an androgynous seducer), the Natural (authentically innocent), the Coquette (playing hard to get), the Star (exuding a larger-than-life presence), and the Charismatic (exuding confidence and captivating oratory skills).
  • 💡 Great seducers are outwardly directed, focusing on understanding and meeting the needs of others rather than being preoccupied with their own internal monologue and insecurities.
  • 🌈 Charisma is the inner light of confidence that makes a person glow, attracting others with their energy, gestures, and words, like a lantern that illuminates from within.
  • 🚶‍♂️ Seduction is not only about physical appearance but also about the power of words and language, especially in the context of historical figures like Don Juan, who used verbal skills to captivate.
  • 💖 Openness and non-judgmental attitude are key to seduction; seducers are generous with their time and attention, making others feel seen, heard, and valued.
  • 💰 Money can be a symbol of psychological attributes and can reflect one's spirit; generosity and willingness to spend can be seductive, while tightness can be a sign of inner cheapness.
  • 🔄 Relationships require ongoing seduction to maintain enchantment and mystery; periodic efforts to re-seduce a partner can keep the magic alive.
  • 🧠 Early life experiences and unresolved childhood issues can influence our attraction patterns, sometimes leading us to seek partners who may not be the best fit for our long-term well-being.

Q & A

  • What is the main concept of 'Seduction' as discussed in the transcript?

    -The main concept of 'Seduction' in the transcript is not limited to sexual attraction but also includes the art of persuading people to like you, align with your cause, or buy into your ideas. It's about mastering the ability to influence and attract others in various aspects of life, including marketing, social interactions, and relationships.

  • Who is considered the icon of Seduction in the transcript?

    -The icon of Seduction in the transcript is the Siren, a figure from mythology known for her powerful sexual energy that can be felt by any man. The Siren represents the concept of seduction through her alluring and intense physical energy, without being overtly forward, and carrying an element of danger that excites men.

  • What are the different types of seducers mentioned in the transcript?

    -The transcript mentions several types of seducers: the Rake, who has an intense interest in women; the Dandy, an androgynous seducer mixing male and female characteristics; the Natural, who possesses a childlike energy and authenticity; the Coquette, who plays hard to get; the Star, who has a distance and is seen as larger than life; and the Charismatic, who exudes confidence and吸引力.

  • How does the transcript describe the key to being a great Seducer?

    -The key to being a great Seducer, as described in the transcript, is being outward directed. This means not being preoccupied with internal monologues or self-doubt, but instead focusing on the other person, listening to them, understanding their needs and desires, and reflecting that understanding back to them. It's about giving attention and making the other person feel validated and recognized.

  • What is the significance of money in the context of seduction as discussed in the transcript?

    -In the context of seduction, money is not just a medium of exchange but a symbol of psychology and deeper meanings. It can be a sign of ambition, drive, and the willingness to invest in a relationship or experience. Being generous with money can be seductive as it signals an open spirit and a value placed on the other person.

  • How does the transcript explain the need for maintaining an element of mystery in relationships?

    -The transcript explains that maintaining an element of mystery in relationships keeps the sense of enchantment and attraction alive. By occasionally revealing new aspects of oneself or taking the partner to new experiences, the relationship remains dynamic and prevents the other person from taking you for granted.

  • What is the role of charisma in seduction according to the transcript?

    -Charisma plays a significant role in seduction as it involves an inner confidence that illuminates the individual from within, making them glow with energy and吸引力. Charismatic individuals are seen as having an inner light that draws others in, making them want to be close to that source of confidence and魅力.

  • How does the transcript relate early childhood experiences to adult relationships and seduction?

    -The transcript suggests that early childhood experiences, particularly dysfunctional relationships with parents, can influence adult relationships and the seduction process. These early experiences may lead individuals to be attracted to partners who possess similar damaging qualities, as a way of reliving and potentially resolving past traumas.

  • What does the transcript mean by 'seduction is a language'?

    -'Seduction is a language' in the transcript refers to the idea that seduction is not just about verbal communication but also about understanding and responding to non-verbal cues, body language, and actions. It's about being attentive to the other person's unspoken needs and desires.

  • How does the transcript describe the role of storytelling in seduction?

    -The transcript describes storytelling as a powerful tool in seduction, as it allows individuals to cast a spell on others through language, evoking emotions and creating a connection. This is seen in the historical context of the 'typical Don Juan' who used poetry and words to seduce.

  • What is the importance of maintaining an effort in long-term relationships as per the transcript?

    -According to the transcript, maintaining an effort to re-seduce your partner in long-term relationships is important to keep the relationship fresh and exciting. It involves taking the time to show your partner that there are still unknown aspects of you, keeping the element of mystery and enchantment alive.

  • How does the transcript connect the desire for enchantment and childhood experiences?

    -The transcript connects the desire for enchantment to the joy and excitement of childhood experiences, such as being picked up and twirled by parents. This sense of being taken on a journey and being under someone's control created a pleasurable feeling, which is similar to the enchantment adults seek in their relationships and experiences.

Outlines

00:00

💫 The Art of Seduction and its Various Forms

This paragraph discusses the concept of seduction as an art form that extends beyond sexual attraction. It emphasizes the importance of seduction in various aspects of life, such as winning people over, marketing, and sales. The speaker shares insights from interviews conducted over 20 years, highlighting different types of seducers, including the Siren, the Rake, the Dandy, the Natural, the Coquette, the Star, and the Charismatic. Each type possesses unique qualities that make them effective in the art of seduction. The Siren, for instance, radiates intense physical energy without being overtly forward, while the Rake is a man with an insatiable interest in women. The Dandy combines masculine and feminine traits, and the Natural exudes authenticity and innocence. The Coquette plays hard to get, the Star has a larger-than-life presence, and the Charismatic emits a confidence that draws others in. The key to being a great seducer, according to the speaker, is to be outwardly directed, focusing on understanding and meeting the needs of others, which can make one incredibly attractive to others.

05:00

👥 Gender Differences in Seduction and the Power of Words

This paragraph explores the differences in how men and women are seduced, noting that men are often visually stimulated, while women tend to be more responsive to words and verbal cues. It delves into historical examples of seducers, particularly the Don Juan archetype from the 17th century, who used language and poetry to cast a spell on women. The paragraph also discusses the characteristics of an effective seducer, such as being open, non-judgmental, and generous, both with time and resources. The speaker argues that these traits are seductive because they validate and recognize the individual, which is a powerful feeling for anyone. Additionally, the paragraph touches on the psychological aspects of money in seduction, suggesting that generosity can signal a person's spirit and ambition, which can be attractive. The importance of maintaining enchantment and mystery in relationships is also highlighted, as it keeps the magic alive and prevents partners from taking each other for granted.

10:02

🎭 The持久魅力 of Seduction in Relationships and Life

This paragraph discusses the ongoing importance of seduction even within long-term relationships. It suggests that maintaining an element of mystery and surprise can keep the relationship fresh and exciting. The speaker emphasizes the need to periodically re-seduce one's partner by revealing new aspects of oneself or by creating unique experiences together. The paragraph also addresses the human desire for enchantment and drama in life, drawing a parallel to the pleasure of childhood experiences when the world seemed full of wonder and adventure. The speaker notes that people are often drawn to those who will hurt them because of unresolved childhood issues, which can create a false sense of attraction. It's important to recognize these patterns and seek partners who are truly good for us, rather than being swayed by the allure of damaged qualities. The paragraph concludes by reiterating the universal longing for enchantment and the joy of being taken on a journey of discovery, whether in relationships, entertainment, or life experiences.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Seduction

Seduction, as discussed in the transcript, is not limited to sexual attraction but also encompasses the art of influencing others to align with one's interests or ideas. It's about captivating people, selling products, or mastering marketing through a variety of seductive archetypes. The term is central to the video's theme, illustrating the nuanced ways in which individuals can draw others in, whether in personal relationships or professional settings.

💡Siren

The Siren represents a powerful female archetype characterized by intense sexual energy that is subtly radiated rather than overtly displayed. This archetype is used in the video to illustrate the concept of seduction as a form of powerful, yet indirect, influence that can captivate a man's attention without direct interaction.

💡Rake

The Rake is a male archetype defined by his intense and insatiable interest in women. This character is obsessive in his pursuit but never finds satisfaction with just one woman. His deep understanding and fascination with women make him a compelling figure in the art of seduction.

💡Dandy

The Dandy is an androgynous seducer who blends male and female characteristics, creating a unique and captivating persona. This archetype challenges traditional gender roles and uses androgyny as a tool of seduction.

💡Natural

The Natural is an archetype characterized by authenticity and a childlike energy. This individual is genuine and unafraid to show their true self, which is perceived as innocent yet devilishly seductive.

💡Coquette

The Coquette is an individual who manipulates interest by playing hard to get, creating a push-and-pull dynamic that keeps others intrigued and eager for their attention. This archetype uses the strategy of withdrawal to increase their allure.

💡Star

The Star is an archetype that represents a person who maintains a sense of distance and mystery, allowing others to project their fantasies onto them. This figure is perceived as larger than life and uses their presence to captivate others.

💡Charismatic

Charisma, as defined in the transcript, is an inner confidence that manifests as an almost tangible energy or light that illuminates the individual from within. Charismatic people are seen as having a magnetic presence that draws others in, making them great orators and influential figures.

💡Outer Directed

Being outer directed, as discussed in the transcript, means focusing on the other person rather than oneself during interactions. It involves truly listening and engaging with the other individual, understanding their needs and desires, and reflecting back to them in a way that validates and recognizes their individuality.

💡Non-Judgmental

Non-judgmental is an attitude of openness and acceptance without labeling or evaluating others. In the context of the transcript, a seductive person maintains an open and non-judgmental stance, which encourages others to feel comfortable and open up, enhancing the seductive dynamic.

💡Psychology of Money

The psychology of money refers to the emotional and behavioral responses that individuals have towards wealth and financial status. In the transcript, money is not just a medium of exchange but also a symbol of ambition, drive, and personal value.

Highlights

The Art of Seduction is not just about sexual seductions, but also about winning people over to your cause, selling ideas, and mastering marketing.

The Siren is the icon of Seduction, embodying powerful sexual energy that can be felt by men without being overtly forward.

The Rake is the male equivalent of the Siren, characterized by an intense, unsatisfiable interest in women and a deep understanding of them.

The Dandy is an androgynous seducer, mixing male and female characteristics in their persona.

The Natural exudes a childlike energy and authenticity, which is inherently seductive due to its innocence.

The Coquette plays hard to get, creating a cycle of engagement and withdrawal that drives others wild.

The Star has a distant, larger-than-life presence that allows others to project their fantasies onto them.

The Charismatic is not necessarily a sexual seducer; they exude confidence and a captivating energy that draws people in.

Great Seducers are outwardly directed, focusing on understanding and reflecting the needs and desires of others.

Charisma is defined as an inner light or glow that comes from deep confidence, making one attractive and compelling.

Men are often visually seduced, while women tend to be more receptive to verbal cues and poetic language.

Seducers are open and non-judgmental, creating an environment where others feel comfortable and validated.

Generosity with time and money is seductive, as it signals a lack of tightness and an openness of spirit.

Seduction is a language of gestures and attention to detail, going beyond words to understand and respond to others.

Even in established relationships, maintaining an element of seduction keeps the magic and enchantment alive.

People are often attracted to those who will hurt them because of unresolved early childhood issues.

Seduction at its core is about reaching the inner child in everyone, offering excitement and a break from the mundane.

Transcripts

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seduction and the Art of Seduction is

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something that's extremely important in

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life it's not just about sexual

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seductions it's about seducing people to

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like you to be on your side it's about

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selling anything it's about being a

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master person in marketing or whatever

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the process is the same

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and here is a compilation of some of the

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best moments of the interviews I've done

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over the last 20 years when it comes to

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the Art of Seduction and how to master

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this art

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that's sort of what I consider the icon

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of Seduction is the siren itself because

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that's where the concept came from and

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that's a woman who has a very powerful

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Sexual Energy that any man can feel it's

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not overt in that they're not coming on

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to you but they just radiate this it's

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kind of intense physical energy and

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there's an element almost of danger to

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them and that's sort of what excites the

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man about the siren and then the male

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equivalent of that is what I call the

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rake and the rake is a man who has an

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intense interest in women he loves women

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it's an incredible degree it like

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obsesses him but he can never be

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satisfied with one woman and because he

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so much is interested in women and he

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understands them so deeply then there's

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the Dandy that's the kind of androgynous

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Seducer who mixes male and female

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characteristics then there's the natural

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someone who's kind of got a childlike

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energy they're just so authentic they're

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not faking anything there's they've got

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that kind of Innocence about them and

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it's devilishly seductive does the

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Coquette is someone who blows hot and

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cold they know how to play hard to get

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they get your claws in you then and then

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they withdraw and you go crazy and you

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have to pursue them you're going after

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them then there's the star which as well

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can be male or female that's a person

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who has a kind of a distance you know a

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star is somebody that we project all of

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our fantasies onto what we imagine that

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they're almost Larger than Life and it's

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a person who knows how to be kind of

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blank and yet have this sort of

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hollywood-like presence about them a

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kind of confidence and they become a

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screen which we project all of our

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fantasies on and we can think of

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millions of examples in pop culture you

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know and then there's the charismatic

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this isn't so much a sexual Seducer

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because not all the Art of Seduction is

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about sex a lot of it's about social

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seduction political seduction marketing

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seductions the charismatic is a man or a

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woman who's filled with this intense

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kind of confidence and the image that I

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use is it this almost like a light

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inside of them you can't see but from

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within it illuminates them and it makes

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their eyes wide open with an energy and

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it gives them this kind of Animation we

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have to hear everything they say they're

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great orators right and they radiate

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this kind of confidence that sucks Us in

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we we feel like when we're close to them

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we're getting some of their own

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confidence

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what makes for a great Seducer is very

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simple you are outer directed so when

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you meet somebody for the first time or

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you're on a date you're not having that

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internal monologue going does she like

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me or does he like me might dress well

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am I saying stupid things what can I do

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to impress them no you turn it off and

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you're out or directed and you're

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listening to them and you're entering

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their spirit and you're hearing them say

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things that give you idea of what

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they're missing in life of what they

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want of what their needs are of what

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makes them an individual you're

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absorbing it you're entering into their

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spirit and then you can reflect it back

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to them you can give them gifts you can

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take them to places that show that

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you're attentive to them because if you

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look at how we are in our day-to-day

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life normally people never pay us

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attention they're always so

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self-absorbed they're never thinking

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about us the times where you get the

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sense that people are actually

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interested in who you are as an

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individual is pretty rare if you give

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that feeling to someone it's incredibly

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powerful because we all want to be

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validated we all want to be recognized

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you know I talk in The Art of Seduction

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of Charisma and what I Define charisma

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is there's a person who has a kind of

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inner light inside of them they're so

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confident that they kind of glow with

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that confidence that their words are

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kind of revealing that their eyes are

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glowing their gestures are glowing and

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they're very charismatic it could be a

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Malcolm X it could be a Marilyn Monroe

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be a John F Kennedy it could be a Mick

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Jagger whomever we sense this incredible

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confidence in this power and it's like a

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inner lantern that just makes everything

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glow and we are so attracted to that

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that's what Charisma is why are we

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attracted to it because we envy people

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who have that kind of confidence we wish

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we could have that and we find it very

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compelling we want to know them we think

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that some of it perhaps will rub off on

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us

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obviously men and women are different

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men tend to be seduced by visuals the

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way a woman looks is sort of the Primal

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way of seducing a man women are very

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prone to words to the verbal aspect and

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seducers the typical Don Juan of the

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17th century they discovered that

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through language through poetry through

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casting a spell on a woman with their

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words that this was the weakness that

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they had and so many of these great

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early seducers were just great talkers

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if you look at like some of the great

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ones in the 16th 17th century they were

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not handsome men they were actually one

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of them was physically repulsive but had

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such an incredible way with words that

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he could seduce almost any woman

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The Seducer is someone who has a kind of

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playful open attitude they're not

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someone who's judging they're not

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moralistic they're not going you're bad

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you're good they're kind of open

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non-judgmental they give a lot of

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themselves they want to please the other

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person they want to get that other

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person to open up to them so the

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anti-seducer is the very opposite of

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that for instance being generous with

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your time or with your money is very

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seductive so if you're on a date and

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you're kind of worried about the money

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or the expense that's an anti-seductive

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sign like oh the woman or whoever I'm

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not worth that money you know I'm not

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worth going to a nice restaurant I'm not

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worth the expense or the effort

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tightness is anti-seductive openness

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open heart open spirit is seductive so

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any kind of tightness or rigidity or

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closeness is very very anti-seductive

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if you're not able to let go of your

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tightness when it comes to a woman

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something's wrong with you man just let

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go spend some extra money spend the

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extra 10 quid that you might need to

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spend on taking you to someplace

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different but it signals a kind of

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cheapness and it's not about money it's

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about a cheapness in your spirit she's

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not worth letting go okay maybe you

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don't have that much but my God you have

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enough it's not gonna like make if

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you're that poor then then you know okay

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maybe but probably not you could afford

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it show that it means something to you

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seduction is a language it's not a

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language of words it's a language of

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gestures that we're paying attention to

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we're paying attention to people's body

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language we're paying attention to their

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actions to the things that they never

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say so when you signal that discounts

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are so important to you that even on the

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first date you have to have a discount

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you're signaling there's something tight

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about you in your nature and it's not

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very pleasant

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so karna was a dictator almost of

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Indonesia back in the 60s and this is a

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story of the journalist Cindy Smith

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who's interviewing him and the image in

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the West Was This is this sort of brutal

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dictator and suddenly this writer this

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American writer said God he's not like

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that at all he's listening to me he's

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doing what I want to do in fact she had

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the feeling she was seducing him at one

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point he said you know I like the color

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of your hair I want to have the same

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hair color wow this suppose a dictator

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of Indonesia wants me to dye his hair

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the same color blonde as my hair she

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thought wow I'm having such an effect on

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him he's not what I all that I thought

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in the end he was controlling the whole

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thing I call that enter the other

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person's Spirit he was trying to beat a

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sponge for her he was absorbing her

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energy he was trying to get inside her

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world her way of thinking and it

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completely worked like a charm she found

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him suddenly not what she thought

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money isn't just money money is a sign

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money is something that has psychology

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has other things attached to it let's

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just say it's a woman who is finding

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herself losing her attraction to a man

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because he's not making any money that

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could be because it's a sign that he

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doesn't have enough ambition he doesn't

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have enough drive or it could be a sign

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he's just finding himself and eventually

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he'll Discover it but you're kind of

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turned off a lot of women and I think

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you know yeah it's mostly women by the

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fact that this person doesn't have any

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drive has no ambition they're not trying

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to make something of their life and so

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it's not about the money that there is

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the fact that there's something missing

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in them that kind of masculine energy

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such as masculine women have great drive

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to make money as well I don't mean to

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put it that way but that kind of drive

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that energy that makes them want to get

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ahead can be very seductive and very

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powerful

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what is the major complaint that people

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have particularly women but men also

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who've been in a relationship for three

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four five ten years is that there's no

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more magic left there's no more

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enchantment you know the other person so

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well if there's no mystery left they

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take you for granted you see them every

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day doing the same things so seduction

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is something that still goes on even in

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a relationship even after you've been

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together for several years where you you

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don't have to do it every day because it

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gets tiring but every week or month or

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so you do something you re-seduce the

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other person you show that there's still

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something they don't know about you you

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reveal that there are depths to you in

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things that they never figured out

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before there's still an element of

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mystery there's still an element of

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drama you're still put into the effort

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to take them to a place that they've

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never been to before these are things

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that we don't have a lot in the world

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today we don't live in a world with a

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lot of that kind of Enchantment things

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are very direct and brutal and I think

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people have this need

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believe it or not some of those early

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dysfunctional relationships with your

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parents are charged with this kind of

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sexual energy and so you'll find

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yourself attracted to the very man or

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woman who's going to hurt you whereas

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the man or woman who is good for you

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there's no kind of sexual charge you are

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actually more attracted to the person

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that has these damaged qualities why is

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that because you get to relive some of

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those early traumas and so the problem

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that will happen that the person who is

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good for you is actually caring that

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will mesh with you that physical charge

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maybe isn't as strong and that's a

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problem right because you want to have

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that element but you need to be aware of

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this you need to be aware of the fact

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that some of the people that you're most

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attracted to you're not attracted to

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just because of their sexy body or

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whatever it is there's also some kind of

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issues you haven't worked out from your

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Early Childhood that are at play in that

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relationship and that are going to cause

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you a lot of pain

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people are dying to be taken out of

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their lives out of the banal day-to-day

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work and to be taken on a ride they want

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enchantment they want some drama in

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their life they want pleasure I talk

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about in the book it's like a child

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seduction is reaching the child of

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everybody and when you were a child you

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were one years old what was the greatest

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pleasure you had it was being picked up

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by your father your mother and kind of

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world around and taken everywhere and

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lifting it and twirled Etc the sense

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that someone was taking you somewhere

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and you were under their control it made

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you laugh it gave you this incredible

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pleasure and that's what happens when

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you see a movie and it takes you on this

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journey where you don't know where it's

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going what's happening next people don't

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have enough of that in their lives

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