Becoming Unstressable with Mo Gawdat

Summary

In this insightful talk, the speaker delves into the concept of stress and its impact on our lives. He introduces the audience to his upcoming book, 'Unstressful,' co-authored with Alice, which aims to provide strategies for managing stress. The speaker explains the biological response to stress, the negative feedback loop, and how modern stressors differ from traditional threats. He also explores the mathematical analogy of stress in physics and the importance of increasing one's abilities to handle stress. The discussion extends to the different forms of stress-related responses like anxiety, fear, worry, and panic, and how to address them through the Three L's model: limit, learn, and listen. The speaker emphasizes the potential for post-traumatic growth and encourages viewers to see stress as an opportunity for personal development rather than a negative experience.

Takeaways

• 📉 The speaker's time was reduced from 25 minutes to 20, highlighting the fast-paced nature of the event.
• 😅 The topic of discussion is stress and how to manage it in a way that is not stressful.
• 📚 The speaker and Alice co-authored a book called 'unstressful' aiming to help people deal with stress.
• 🌟 The speaker emphasizes the importance of understanding stress from a biological perspective, explaining the role of cortisol.
• 🚀 Cortisol acts as a turbocharger for the body, preparing it to deal with threats through various physiological changes.
• 🔄 The human body has a negative feedback loop that assesses whether stress is justified, which can be overridden by continuous stress.
• 🤯 Stress in modern life often comes from non-physical sources like work and relationships, unlike the physical threats our bodies evolved to handle.
• 🧠 The speaker and Alice discuss the mathematical and physical aspects of stress, comparing it to force and pressure in physics.
• 💪 To manage stress, one can increase their abilities and skills, which reduces the feeling of stress from external forces.
• 🔋 The concept of 'strain' in physics relates to post-traumatic growth in humans, where overcoming stress leads to increased resilience.
• 🌈 The Three L's model (Limit, Learn, Listen) is introduced as a method to deal with stress, emphasizing the importance of understanding and responding to the signals from the mind, body, heart, and soul.

Q & A

What is the main topic of discussion in the script?

The main topic of discussion in the script is stress and how to manage it effectively to become 'unstressful'.

What is the name of the book that the speaker co-authored with Alice?

The name of the book that the speaker co-authored with Alice is 'unstressful'.

How does the speaker describe Alice's personality and approach to life?

The speaker describes Alice as a very spiritual, feminine, and energy-focused person, who has a sweet and calm demeanor but also holds very clear views.

What is the significance of the 90-second rule mentioned in the script?

The 90-second rule signifies the time window within which the body's stress response, initiated by cortisol, can be managed and potentially resolved, preventing the continuation of stress.

How does the speaker compare stress in humans to stress in physics?

The speaker compares stress in humans to stress in physics by using the analogy of force applied to an object. In humans, stress is the challenge or force divided by one's abilities, skills, and resources to handle that stress.

What are the three conditions under which humans break or experience stress-related issues?

The three conditions under which humans break or experience stress-related issues are excessive load (continuous addition of stress), trauma (unexpected and overwhelming events), and fatigue (repeated application of stress over time).

What is the definition of anxiety according to the speaker?

According to the speaker, anxiety is the feeling of not being able to handle a potential future threat or stressor, which is either suspected or confirmed.

What is the recommended approach to dealing with worry?

The recommended approach to dealing with worry is to either verify if there is a reason for the worry (if the worry is based on猜测) or to shift into a state of fear (if there is confirmation of a threat), which prompts a focus on dealing with the threat.

What is the concept of 'post-traumatic growth' in the context of stress?

Post-traumatic growth refers to the positive changes or increased resilience that individuals may experience after recovering from a trauma or significant stressor.

What are the Three L's model mentioned in the script for managing stress?

The Three L's model for managing stress are Limit (reducing the intensity, frequency, and duration of stress), Learn (developing abilities and skills to handle stress), and Listen (understanding and responding to the signals from the mind, body, heart, and soul).

How can one access the 'unstress' content mentioned in the script?

To access the 'unstress' content, one can visit unstress.com and use the promo code 'wo2023' for a free month of access to their resources and webinars.

Outlines

00:00

🎤 Introduction and Personal Connection

The speaker begins by discussing the unexpected change in their speaking time and uses humor to connect with the audience. They introduce the topic of stress and share their own experiences, setting a relatable tone for the conversation. The speaker also acknowledges the presence of new faces in the audience and sets the stage for a discussion on a critical question related to personal appearance. The introduction establishes a light-hearted atmosphere while hinting at the importance of the subject matter to be covered.

05:01

📚 The Journey to Unstressful

The speaker delves into the background of their upcoming book, 'Unstressful,' which they co-authored with Alice Law. They share the story of how their collaboration began and highlight Alice's significant influence on the project. The speaker emphasizes the importance of addressing stress in order to talk about happiness effectively. They also discuss the concept of happiness in previous talks and set the context for the current focus on stress management. The speaker's personal anecdotes and the mention of the book provide a foundation for the audience to understand the significance of the topic and the upcoming discussion.

10:03

🧠 Understanding Stress from a Biological Perspective

The speaker provides an in-depth explanation of stress from a biological standpoint, discussing the human body's response to threats. They explain the role of cortisol and how it acts as a turbocharger, reconfiguring the body to deal with perceived threats. The speaker also touches on the negative feedback loop, which is a natural mechanism to assess and manage stress. They highlight the difference between immediate stress responses and the chronic stress experienced in modern life, setting the stage for further discussion on managing stress in today's world.

15:05

🚫 The Breaking Point: Causes and Consequences

The speaker explores the concept of breaking under stress, identifying three conditions under which individuals may break: excessive load, trauma, and fatigue. They explain how continuous stress can lead to burnout and how unexpected events can cause trauma. The speaker also introduces the idea of anxiety as a form of stress and outlines the different levels of stress response, including worry, fear, panic, and anxiety. This section provides the audience with a comprehensive understanding of the various ways stress can manifest and impact individuals.

20:05

🌱 Post-Traumatic Growth and The Three L's

The speaker introduces the concept of post-traumatic growth, drawing an analogy with the physical properties of a rubber band to explain how individuals can become more resilient after experiencing stress. They present a model called 'The Three L's' (Limit, Learn, and Listen) as a strategy to manage stress. The speaker emphasizes the importance of listening to the mind, body, heart, and soul to understand and address stress effectively. They also mention a promotional offer for a month of free access to their platform, Unstress of, encouraging the audience to engage with their content and apply the strategies discussed.

Keywords

💡Stress

Stress is a physiological and psychological response to perceived threats or challenges. In the context of the video, stress is described as a survival mechanism that triggers a hormonal response, including the release of cortisol, to prepare the body for action. However, the modern world's stressors are often not life-threatening, leading to chronic stress that can be detrimental to health and well-being.

💡Cortisol

Cortisol is a hormone that plays a key role in the stress response. It is released into the bloodstream in response to stress and helps to reallocate resources in the body, providing a temporary boost in energy and focus. However, chronic exposure to cortisol due to ongoing stress can have negative health impacts.

💡Prefrontal Cortex

The prefrontal cortex is a region of the brain responsible for higher cognitive functions, including decision-making and rational thinking. In the context of stress, it is involved in the negative feedback loop, where it assesses whether the perceived threat is real or not, and helps to calm the body down if the threat is determined to be non-existent.

💡Burnout

Burnout is a state of chronic physical and emotional exhaustion often accompanied by feelings of cynicism and detachment. It occurs as a result of prolonged stress and overwork. In the video, burnout is described as the outcome of repeated application of stress without relief, leading to a point where an individual feels unable to continue functioning at their usual capacity.

💡Anxiety

Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about a potential threat or uncertainty. In the video, anxiety is discussed as part of a spectrum that includes worry, fear, and panic, all of which are responses to perceived threats. The speaker emphasizes that anxiety is related to a perceived lack of ability to handle a future threat.

💡Post-Traumatic Growth

Post-Traumatic Growth refers to the positive psychological change experienced as a result of facing and overcoming significant adversity or trauma. In the video, the speaker uses the analogy of a rubber band being stretched to explain how individuals can emerge from stressful situations with increased resilience and a greater capacity to handle future challenges.

💡Three L's

The Three L's is a model proposed in the video for managing stress, consisting of Limit, Learn, and Listen. Limit refers to reducing the intensity, frequency, and duration of stressors; Learn involves developing skills and abilities to handle stress better; and Listen is about paying attention to the signals from the mind, body, heart, and soul to understand and address stress.

💡Unstressful

Unstressful is a term coined in the video to describe a state of being where an individual is able to manage stress effectively, maintaining a calm and composed demeanor even in the face of challenges. It is the opposite of a distressed state and is achieved through understanding and applying the principles discussed in the video.

💡Feedback Loop

A feedback loop in the context of the video refers to the biological process where the body's initial stress response is followed by an assessment by the prefrontal cortex to determine if the stressor is still present. If no real threat is detected, the loop helps to calm the body down. However, if the stressor is continually perceived as present, the loop can become a cycle of ongoing stress.

💡Strain

Strain, in a physical context, refers to the deformation or change in shape of an object under stress. In the video, strain is used as an analogy to describe post-traumatic growth in humans, where the experience of stress or adversity leads to positive changes in one's character or resilience.

Highlights

The speaker introduces the topic of stress and the upcoming discussion about their new book, 'Unstressful', at the beginning of the transcript. (0:00)

The speaker humorously asks the audience if they have gained weight, showcasing their comfortable rapport with the attendees. (0:30)

The importance of happiness is mentioned, setting the stage for the discussion on stress and its impact on overall well-being. (1:00)

The speaker shares their journey to writing the book 'Unstressful', highlighting the collaboration with their co-author, Alice. (2:00)

The concept of stress as a survival mechanism is introduced, comparing it to the biological response to a threat. (3:00)

The explanation of cortisol's role in the stress response is provided, likening it to a turbocharger for the human body. (4:00)

The speaker discusses the negative feedback loop and its significance in managing stress levels. (5:00)

The importance of addressing stress within 90 seconds to prevent a continuous stress cycle is highlighted. (6:00)

The analogy of stress in humans compared to stress in physics provides a new perspective on dealing with stress. (7:00)

The speaker explains the three conditions under which individuals break due to stress: excessive load, trauma, and fatigue. (8:00)

The concept of burnout is discussed, relating it to the accumulation of stress over time. (9:00)

The speaker differentiates between anxiety, fear, worry, and panic, providing insights into how each affects individuals. (10:00)

The idea of post-traumatic growth is introduced, offering a positive outlook on the potential for personal development following a stressful event. (11:00)

The Three L's model (Limit, Learn, Listen) is introduced as a method for managing stress. (12:00)

The speaker invites the audience to a breakout session for further discussion and practical tips on dealing with stress. (13:00)

A free one-month gift from the speaker is offered to encourage participation in their 'Unstress' membership platform. (14:00)

The speaker concludes by emphasizing the potential for growth and resilience through understanding and managing stress. (15:00)

Transcripts

[Music]

hello hello they they just dropped my

time from 25 minutes to 20 so uh yeah I

I need to talk to you about stress and

how to be

[Laughter]

unstressful a little stressful I would

say oh now they're back to 25 thank you

all right hallelujah how how beautiful

is this place how many of you have been

to other rasu before Oh my God we have a

lot of new faces all right so for those

who have been to newas before the most

critical question we're going to discuss

today is have I gained weight since last

time so so you you have one of two

options no you look as handsome as ever

or yes fat hobbit which one one okay

very good all

right oh thank you all right I uh I I

came to every wahas that ever happened

including the one online when we were at

uh at uh covid lockdown and uh at every

one of them I spoke to you about

happiness there was one where I spoke to

to you about artificial intelligence and

scared all of you uh yeah um but the

idea is uh I thought I had the right to

speak about happiness until I met my

co-author on the next book which is

called unstressful Alice law I think

Alice is here somewhere but

Alice okay if you if there she is yeah

uh so Alice uh met me on her podcast she

hosted me on her podcast and then she uh

I hosted her on mine because of her

incredible story and she's sort of if if

you know Alice she's the sweetest calest

person ever but she has views that are

very clear and she said how do you earn

the right to talk about happiness when

everyone is so stressed okay and I was

like oh interesting point someone else

will talk about stress uh and she said

no we should probably write a book about

stress oh that's demanding okay uh and

so I said okay let's just you know write

down a few ideas and let's discuss them

uh you know thinking that she will come

up with something that I say not me and

then I was completely taken by the idea

it definitely is my best work at least

in my personal view unstress was uh we

wrote it together Alice is a very

spiritual very feminine uh very uh um

you know energy focused person I'm an

engineer boring like hell so I basically

yeah I basically you know the two of us

together are writing something

incredible we got unstress ready around

a year and a bit ago but the publishing

industry moves at the speed of a turtle

so we're only going to be publishing

this end of this year and for that Alice

uh being unstressed said we're going to

start a membership that I will give you

a one Monon free uh gift of of at the

end of the this conversation uh to try

and get a million people out of stress

every year as of 2024 okay so thank

you so it is uh it sounds like a

daunting task believe it or not I think

we're really well set to do it okay so

we started the membership around um

November last year very very closed

community we didn't expand it at all

never advertised it and basically now

we're getting a lot of corporates around

the world quite interested in it you

know when you get into the corporate

space they start to really we have a

consumer platform a corporate platform

and the corporate platform hopefully

will get us to the million very quickly

now what is unstress about we're going

to have two sessions one is I'm talking

to you now for the remaining 22 minutes

uh to give you eight definitions that

get you thinking about stress and how

stress really works and then Alice and I

will have a breakout here in the theater

at 5:20 to talk about some practical

tips and answer all of your questions so

what's going to happen is um you need to

understand that stress as most people in

the business world will tell you is not

a bad thing right everyone who owns a

business wants you to be stressed out of

your head uh because you know the more

stressed you are the more you'll perform

and so they tell you that stress is a

wonderful thing now in an interesting

way stress is a wonderful thing and I

think the most important definition to

start with is what is stress now stress

I'll explain first from a biological

point of view how how the human machine

works okay and the human machine is very

straightforward if there is a threat

represented in front of me a shows up

right uh my uh um um you know let's say

amydala starts the whole idea just

catches up that there is a threat before

I even think about it you know initiates

a cocktail of hormones in my body don't

worry about what they are but they

eventually end up with the infamous

cortisol right and once you have

cortisol in your body cortisol is

literally like the turbocharger any car

fans here none oh my God all right guys

nice to meet you right so so so

basically you have those cars where you

inject a lot of oxygen into the into the

engine and then basically the power of

the car increases that that is cortisol

cortisol tells your body okay uh that

you have a threat in front of you so it

reconfigures the machine literally

reconfigures the machine redirects

calories to the right places you know

stops uh your digestive system stops

your kidney stops your uh um um liver

from doing their normal function but

dilates your your uh pupil so that you

can see better uh gets you more focused

directs more uh um you know glucose to

your brain so that you can think faster

sends a lot of your energy to your

muscles so you can run away or fight the

danger massively impressive when you

think about it right absolutely nothing

wrong with that if there is a a threat

in front of you this is the absolute

best survival mechanism we have as

humans right the problem is in the when

people talk about stress they talk about

this stress cycle it's the cycle that

stresses you right they never talk about

what is known as the negative feedback

loop and the negative feedback loop is

basically quite interesting because you

are stressed before you start thinking

do you realize that so if someone shows

up behind you and says boo right you

don't think first if this is a tiger or

a a human you just jump right you're

stressed first because it is an

emergency response and then the negative

feedback loop basically once cortisol is

flooding your system you start to uh

engage your prefrontal cortex your your

rational brain if you want to assess if

there is actually a reason to be

stressed at all and what happens is most

of the time if there is no more tiger

your pre prefrontal cortex will make an

executive decision and the executive

decision is no more threat calm down

right and that's what you see gazals and

antop doing in nature huh the tiger is

chasing them and then they shake and

then they they calm down no more

stress the problem with our modern world

is that stresses are not in the form of

tigers anymore right so a Tiger shows up

you are you your your entire system

screams were going to die your boss

shows up we're going to die your

boyfriend says something annoying we're

going to die right uh you didn't sit in

the right seat uh that you wanted to sit

in the theater we're going to die right

and and and suddenly everything becomes

a a a a constant uh state of mental

stress where when your prefrontal cortex

engages it says yeah I'm still not in

the right seat we're going to die right

and so you still stress over and over

and over sometimes for years sometimes

for a lifetime okay the interesting

thing about the feedback loop is that I

I I hosted uh Jill baly Taylor anyone

aware of Jill's work Jill is an

incredible neuroscientist who had a

stroke that deactivated her left brain

and she wrote a book that's called a

stroke of insight had one of the most

incredible TED talks in history a stroke

of insight and basically spoke about

what it is like to live in your right

brain only which is fascinating I cry

every time I hear it and and uh I hosted

Jill on my podcast on slow-mo and Jill

basically said that the entire system

she calls it the 90c rules uh the 90c

rule is from the minute you have

cortisol in your blood you get stressed

you you respond or you don't it doesn't

matter within 90 seconds all of the

hormones are flushed out of your body so

you now have a chance to actually sit

back and say it's all okay but then

because we re-engage stress every 90

seconds your body basically says no more

cortisol we're still stressed right so

if you were to let the biological Cycle

takes take place you would actually end

your stress every 90 seconds but some of

us manag to renew that for 17 years 90

seconds at a time do you understand that

it's one thought that happens in your

head and that one thought engages stress

once again now to me when Alice and I

discussed this it it started to become a

problem because it is very natural for

all of us huh your your partner says

something hurtful on Friday you're

stressed for six weeks right so Alice

decided to look at this from her

approach I decided of course when you

know when things become tough you tend

to do more of what you know how to do

best so I ended up deciding to look at

it mathematically okay and I attempted

to understand the math of or the physics

if you want of stress and it is very eye

opening when you really think about it

it's very eye opening because the the it

is actually very straightforward to

compare stress in humans to stress in

physics if you if you remember in

elementary school when they taught you

that when you put pressure on an object

okay there is force and then there is

stress and stress is different than

Force okay stress is you know as felt by

an object an inanimate object is the

amount of force applied to the object

divided by the square area of the object

right if a camel uh is walking on high

heels in the desert it will sink in the

sand because not only because of its

weight but because that weight is

distributed across a very uh thin area

Okay however with the Hooves of the

camel being this big the camel doesn't

sink in the sand because the force is

distributed across a very large area

right so in that case stress in humans

if you take the analogy is the challenge

or the force applied to you divided by

your abilities skills and resources to

deal with that stress and that's not

actually very difficult to understand

for some of you as you look back at your

20s for example you would freak up out

about things then when your teenage son

or daughter freaks about now you go like

come on chill it's easy right you you

you gain the experience and then you

realize that you've gained skills

abilities and resources and you can deal

with stress a lot better okay from that

equation you understand that to deal

with stress has very little to do with

with the external Force as a matter of

fact so if the external forces applied

to you out of your control what you can

do is increase your abilities and skills

and resources and then you will feel

less stressed the challenge will be the

same it will be a challenging time like

the times we're going through now in

business for example with economic

crisis and geopolitical issues but you

will not feel stressed about it you'll

be carrying the same load and not

stressed about it so why do why do we

break then you know if we have an

ability to carry stress before we break

the problem with stress as I said stress

is a superhuman machine it reconfigures

your body in ways that are are

incredible right but we still break and

I uh and Alice found out that we break

under three conditions okay one like in

physics you break an object breaks when

the load applied to the object is bigger

than its ability to carry it right so

you can do that in one of two ways in

humans either keep adding stress okay so

your boyfriend says something annoying

and then your mother says something

annoying and then your best friend says

something annoying and and and so the

load keeps adding until there is a point

where you no longer can carry the load

and you break that's one side the other

side is known as trauma okay and Trauma

is that very unexpected Too Fast Too

Soon uh too much kind of event so one

morning you wake up and you find

yourself in an accident and it is a

trauma right it's a trauma basically

because that amount of force that's

bigger than your ability was applied so

quickly that it broke you that's one way

we break I'll come back to that in a in

a in a minute and tell you what happens

after because it's quite

inspiring the other way we break is what

is known in physics as fatigue if you

have heard of fatigue you know when uh

when you get those plastic crapped

things and you don't have a pair of

scissors so you start to twist them back

and forth right and if you do that 17

times eventually in Material Science

what ends up is the tensile forces

between the molecules fade and so you it

breaks

very interesting huh so fatigue without

a lot of force can break you okay and

that's exactly the biggest pandemic of

stress in our world today so trauma

believe it or not is not that common

Alice is going to talk about that a lot

in in the breakout what is very common

is

burnout and burnout is the result of

fatigue it's the result of applying a

stress to you over and over and over and

over and over until poof you wake up one

morning and you can't get out of bed now

fatigue in that case in humans will have

an equation we break out we break we

burn out when the number of stressors

multiplied by the intensity of stressors

multiplied by the frequency of applying

each of them multiplied by the time of

application is bigger than your ability

okay so it's it's it could be simple

simple simple stressors like your alarm

in the morning is very very loud okay

but do that every morning and then

snooze it five times okay and then there

is one morning where you just wake up

and you shout at your kids and everyone

because you can't take it anymore right

it's the number of stressors multiplied

by the intensity of each multiplied by

the uh frequency of application

multiplied by the time of applying each

right so if you have a long commute if

the commute is 1 hour it's more more

stressful than if it's 20 minutes

correct so that's the second way we

break the third way we break is actually

not about breaking at all it's about the

process of getting to Breaking okay

which I think again is very very common

in our modern world today our our way of

breaking in the modern world today uh if

you if you if you really recognize the

people around you we struggle with

anxiety a lot more than we struggle with

trauma a lot more sorry than we struggle

with burnout a lot more than we struggle

with trauma anxiety is a way of life

okay it's actually quite staggering

because I'm chill like a cucumber right

nothing can like seriously very few

things make me anxious but anxiety is so

common and I I really had to study that

and to understand anxiety we need to

understand four definitions which which

is what I call anxiety and all of its

derivatives okay anxiety fear worry and

panic are all the same family right

let's talk about worry first when you're

worried that means that you are

suspecting there is a threat in the

future okay you're you're not the threat

doesn't happen you don't even have a

confirmation that the stress will happen

okay or the threat will happen but

you're just like sort of like yeah you

know it's an economic crisis I'll

probably be laid off and when I'm laid

off I'll probably go hungry and I'll be

homeless and then someone will attack me

in the street right you know I'm worried

about that okay so so no confirmation

whatsoever nobody has ever told you that

you're not doing that well or that the

company is going to lay off people but

you see Facebook doing it you go like

it's going to happen to me too right so

worry if you feel worried most of us as

a response to all four worry fear uh

anxiety and panic we respond by trying

to resolve the thing we're afraid of

okay when you're worried you shouldn't

do that at all okay when you're worried

what you should do is verify if there is

a reason for you to be worried so worry

the key word in worry is I'm not sure

I'm just suspecting I'm guessing Okay so

try to get yourself to one of two places

either no no no no what I'm guessing is

wrong there is no evidence of that or

get yourself to a place of fear okay

fear is the second layer higher okay

fear is I am confident there is going to

be a threat in my future I am confident

there is going to be a threat in the

future is the time where you start to

focus on you know de-stressing by

dealing with the with the threat so if

you tell yourself no no I'm confident

there seems to be very strong rumors

that the company is going to lay out lay

lay off 10,000 people and I'm probably

going to be one of them that's when you

have a confirmation that there is a

reason to stress and the answer to that

is okay if the threat is happening what

am I going to do about it how can I find

another job how can I manage my finances

better and so on now you need to deal

with the threat

how about panic and anxiety very

interesting when you understand the

mechanics behind them Panic is not at

all related to the magnitude of the

threat at all Panic is related to the

time between now and the threat when you

panic your brain is telling you the time

between the threat and now is imminent

it's very short okay I don't think I

have the time to deal with it and so if

you're feeling panicked what do you need

to do not deal with the threat deal with

time and when you deal with time what

does that mean it means I want to get

myself more time maybe by freeing myself

up or I want to speed myself up by maybe

soliciting help or you know working

faster or whatever that's the answer to

Panic it's not I want to deal with the

threat it is I want to deal with time

differently how about anxiety the big

one anxiety is the biggest one okay

anxiety is not related to the threat

it's not related to time it's related to

your ability to deal with it when you're

anxious you're either guessing there is

a threat in the future or aware

confident that there is a threat in the

future but you're telling yourself and

I'm not going to be able to to deal with

it I don't have the ability skills and

resources to deal with it and so what's

the answer to that the answer to that is

very straightforward work on your skills

and abilities if you feel anxious don't

work on the stress don't work on the

threat don't tell yourself this is the

way I can you know avoid that uh threat

tell yourself this is the way I can

develop myself in ways so that I can

deal with it and the anxiety will go

away and for most people I've worked

with on the topic when you tell them

okay okay it's confirmed that there is a

threat it's confirmed that you're not

ready what can you do to be ready the

anxiety goes away they suddenly focus on

what can I do to become ready for this

I'm not trying to hope that it's not

going to happen I'm trying to hope that

when it happens I'm going to be good

enough to deal with it okay so we've

defined def

stress we've defined uh um how we break

under excessive load trauma or a lot of

stress we've defined anxiety uh fear

panic and worry right uh we need to now

Define what in physics is known as um

strain strain is less discussed strain

is the is the deformation of an object

if you stretch a rubber band and keep it

stretched for a couple of days and let

it go it's bigger than when you started

the the the physical properties of that

rubber band become different so that it

can deal with more stretch in the future

happens to us as humans known as

post-traumatic growth okay so those for

of us who who recover and heal after a

trauma or those of us who Sway With the

challenges they don't resist and become

rigid okay they become more flexible in

their approach to life and then they

become chill as a cucumber right as life

comes to them they go like oh yeah right

I I knew that one is coming okay and

when you really see it that way suddenly

there is hope in stress not only that

stress is a survival mechanism but it's

also the ultimate format for growth do

you understand that and one of the

things that really really annoy me when

we talk in the spiritual circles about

healing okay is that it makes healing

feel like I'm broken don't have to be

broken to heal okay I don't like the

idea of assuming that I'm broken I like

the idea of assuming I'm challenged and

as I'm challenged I'm going to grow I'm

going to learn I'm going to become

unstressed so that in the future when

that challenge comes again I don't feel

bad about

it okay so believe it or not I will

finish on time because I have to give

you one more topic and then uh we go we

will discuss more on the on the breakout

so again between Alis and I beautiful

beautiful partnership uh we ended up

saying so how can we we simplify all of

this okay how can we simplify a model

that will work every time remember

unstress is not about distressing you

it's about making you unstressful so

that when future stresses happen you're

chill okay which is a very serious life

lifestyle change if you think about it

and we said there is a model that's

called The Three L's which are limit

learn and listen Okay limit learn and

listen are quite interesting in terms of

they deal with all forms of uh stress

Alice in the breakout is going to cover

something we call a ton of stress t o n

n all of the different types of stress

and for every one of those stresses you

can either limit so basically reduce the

stress is its intensity its frequency

and its uh uh time of application and so

on right you can learn develop your

abilities and skills and her most

beautiful contribution to the book or

you can listen Okay and the idea is that

you we are made up of four components a

mind a heart a body and a soul that's

every human and each of those gets

stressed differently and each of those

is talking to us all the time it's

talking to us not only to say hey by the

way I'm stressed okay it's also talking

to us to tell us exactly how to distress

it's telling us such clear messages okay

and we don't listen or at least we

listen but we don't understand and if

you can manage to listen to your mind

body heart and soul most of the time the

stress is so easy to take to to go away

and it goes away early and you know with

early diagnosis you don't have to wait

until you break down and then deal with

it so the Three L's as as your

accountabilities as we call them are

something we're going to try discuss in

the breakout um we we want you to the

the book is 400 pages so 20 minutes

doesn't work okay but uh but and and the

40 minutes of the breakout won't work

but in the breakout we will take you

through a ton of stress all of the

different types of stress and how you

can deal with them and we take you

through the realization of the number of

nuisances that you allow in your life or

ends as we call them okay and how you

can limit stress right after that

because we love wo so much and Karen I

haven't hugged you yet uh um you know we

we we want to give everyone that month

uh in unstress of.com so you go to

unstress of.com and you use the uh the

promo code uh oaso

2023 okay can you spell wo yes wo 2023

right you get a month free we have tons

of content we're now in the middle of

mental stress so you can watch as much

of it as you want if you want to stay

with us we we have basically monthly

webinars and so on if you want to stay

with us welcome if not at least we will

feel that we've given you enough to

become unstress if you spend a month

watching the content that we have so far

uh with that we thank you very much I

will see you

at 520 in the