Becoming Unstressable with Mo Gawdat

World Happiness Summit
29 Jan 202425:00

Summary

TLDRIn this insightful talk, the speaker delves into the concept of stress and its impact on our lives. He introduces the audience to his upcoming book, 'Unstressful,' co-authored with Alice, which aims to provide strategies for managing stress. The speaker explains the biological response to stress, the negative feedback loop, and how modern stressors differ from traditional threats. He also explores the mathematical analogy of stress in physics and the importance of increasing one's abilities to handle stress. The discussion extends to the different forms of stress-related responses like anxiety, fear, worry, and panic, and how to address them through the Three L's model: limit, learn, and listen. The speaker emphasizes the potential for post-traumatic growth and encourages viewers to see stress as an opportunity for personal development rather than a negative experience.

Takeaways

  • 📉 The speaker's time was reduced from 25 minutes to 20, highlighting the fast-paced nature of the event.
  • 😅 The topic of discussion is stress and how to manage it in a way that is not stressful.
  • 📚 The speaker and Alice co-authored a book called 'unstressful' aiming to help people deal with stress.
  • 🌟 The speaker emphasizes the importance of understanding stress from a biological perspective, explaining the role of cortisol.
  • 🚀 Cortisol acts as a turbocharger for the body, preparing it to deal with threats through various physiological changes.
  • 🔄 The human body has a negative feedback loop that assesses whether stress is justified, which can be overridden by continuous stress.
  • 🤯 Stress in modern life often comes from non-physical sources like work and relationships, unlike the physical threats our bodies evolved to handle.
  • 🧠 The speaker and Alice discuss the mathematical and physical aspects of stress, comparing it to force and pressure in physics.
  • 💪 To manage stress, one can increase their abilities and skills, which reduces the feeling of stress from external forces.
  • 🔋 The concept of 'strain' in physics relates to post-traumatic growth in humans, where overcoming stress leads to increased resilience.
  • 🌈 The Three L's model (Limit, Learn, Listen) is introduced as a method to deal with stress, emphasizing the importance of understanding and responding to the signals from the mind, body, heart, and soul.

Q & A

  • What is the main topic of discussion in the script?

    -The main topic of discussion in the script is stress and how to manage it effectively to become 'unstressful'.

  • What is the name of the book that the speaker co-authored with Alice?

    -The name of the book that the speaker co-authored with Alice is 'unstressful'.

  • How does the speaker describe Alice's personality and approach to life?

    -The speaker describes Alice as a very spiritual, feminine, and energy-focused person, who has a sweet and calm demeanor but also holds very clear views.

  • What is the significance of the 90-second rule mentioned in the script?

    -The 90-second rule signifies the time window within which the body's stress response, initiated by cortisol, can be managed and potentially resolved, preventing the continuation of stress.

  • How does the speaker compare stress in humans to stress in physics?

    -The speaker compares stress in humans to stress in physics by using the analogy of force applied to an object. In humans, stress is the challenge or force divided by one's abilities, skills, and resources to handle that stress.

  • What are the three conditions under which humans break or experience stress-related issues?

    -The three conditions under which humans break or experience stress-related issues are excessive load (continuous addition of stress), trauma (unexpected and overwhelming events), and fatigue (repeated application of stress over time).

  • What is the definition of anxiety according to the speaker?

    -According to the speaker, anxiety is the feeling of not being able to handle a potential future threat or stressor, which is either suspected or confirmed.

  • What is the recommended approach to dealing with worry?

    -The recommended approach to dealing with worry is to either verify if there is a reason for the worry (if the worry is based on猜测) or to shift into a state of fear (if there is confirmation of a threat), which prompts a focus on dealing with the threat.

  • What is the concept of 'post-traumatic growth' in the context of stress?

    -Post-traumatic growth refers to the positive changes or increased resilience that individuals may experience after recovering from a trauma or significant stressor.

  • What are the Three L's model mentioned in the script for managing stress?

    -The Three L's model for managing stress are Limit (reducing the intensity, frequency, and duration of stress), Learn (developing abilities and skills to handle stress), and Listen (understanding and responding to the signals from the mind, body, heart, and soul).

  • How can one access the 'unstress' content mentioned in the script?

    -To access the 'unstress' content, one can visit unstress.com and use the promo code 'wo2023' for a free month of access to their resources and webinars.

Outlines

00:00

🎤 Introduction and Personal Connection

The speaker begins by discussing the unexpected change in their speaking time and uses humor to connect with the audience. They introduce the topic of stress and share their own experiences, setting a relatable tone for the conversation. The speaker also acknowledges the presence of new faces in the audience and sets the stage for a discussion on a critical question related to personal appearance. The introduction establishes a light-hearted atmosphere while hinting at the importance of the subject matter to be covered.

05:01

📚 The Journey to Unstressful

The speaker delves into the background of their upcoming book, 'Unstressful,' which they co-authored with Alice Law. They share the story of how their collaboration began and highlight Alice's significant influence on the project. The speaker emphasizes the importance of addressing stress in order to talk about happiness effectively. They also discuss the concept of happiness in previous talks and set the context for the current focus on stress management. The speaker's personal anecdotes and the mention of the book provide a foundation for the audience to understand the significance of the topic and the upcoming discussion.

10:03

🧠 Understanding Stress from a Biological Perspective

The speaker provides an in-depth explanation of stress from a biological standpoint, discussing the human body's response to threats. They explain the role of cortisol and how it acts as a turbocharger, reconfiguring the body to deal with perceived threats. The speaker also touches on the negative feedback loop, which is a natural mechanism to assess and manage stress. They highlight the difference between immediate stress responses and the chronic stress experienced in modern life, setting the stage for further discussion on managing stress in today's world.

15:05

🚫 The Breaking Point: Causes and Consequences

The speaker explores the concept of breaking under stress, identifying three conditions under which individuals may break: excessive load, trauma, and fatigue. They explain how continuous stress can lead to burnout and how unexpected events can cause trauma. The speaker also introduces the idea of anxiety as a form of stress and outlines the different levels of stress response, including worry, fear, panic, and anxiety. This section provides the audience with a comprehensive understanding of the various ways stress can manifest and impact individuals.

20:05

🌱 Post-Traumatic Growth and The Three L's

The speaker introduces the concept of post-traumatic growth, drawing an analogy with the physical properties of a rubber band to explain how individuals can become more resilient after experiencing stress. They present a model called 'The Three L's' (Limit, Learn, and Listen) as a strategy to manage stress. The speaker emphasizes the importance of listening to the mind, body, heart, and soul to understand and address stress effectively. They also mention a promotional offer for a month of free access to their platform, Unstress of, encouraging the audience to engage with their content and apply the strategies discussed.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Stress

Stress is a physiological and psychological response to perceived threats or challenges. In the context of the video, stress is described as a survival mechanism that triggers a hormonal response, including the release of cortisol, to prepare the body for action. However, the modern world's stressors are often not life-threatening, leading to chronic stress that can be detrimental to health and well-being.

💡Cortisol

Cortisol is a hormone that plays a key role in the stress response. It is released into the bloodstream in response to stress and helps to reallocate resources in the body, providing a temporary boost in energy and focus. However, chronic exposure to cortisol due to ongoing stress can have negative health impacts.

💡Prefrontal Cortex

The prefrontal cortex is a region of the brain responsible for higher cognitive functions, including decision-making and rational thinking. In the context of stress, it is involved in the negative feedback loop, where it assesses whether the perceived threat is real or not, and helps to calm the body down if the threat is determined to be non-existent.

💡Burnout

Burnout is a state of chronic physical and emotional exhaustion often accompanied by feelings of cynicism and detachment. It occurs as a result of prolonged stress and overwork. In the video, burnout is described as the outcome of repeated application of stress without relief, leading to a point where an individual feels unable to continue functioning at their usual capacity.

💡Anxiety

Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about a potential threat or uncertainty. In the video, anxiety is discussed as part of a spectrum that includes worry, fear, and panic, all of which are responses to perceived threats. The speaker emphasizes that anxiety is related to a perceived lack of ability to handle a future threat.

💡Post-Traumatic Growth

Post-Traumatic Growth refers to the positive psychological change experienced as a result of facing and overcoming significant adversity or trauma. In the video, the speaker uses the analogy of a rubber band being stretched to explain how individuals can emerge from stressful situations with increased resilience and a greater capacity to handle future challenges.

💡Three L's

The Three L's is a model proposed in the video for managing stress, consisting of Limit, Learn, and Listen. Limit refers to reducing the intensity, frequency, and duration of stressors; Learn involves developing skills and abilities to handle stress better; and Listen is about paying attention to the signals from the mind, body, heart, and soul to understand and address stress.

💡Unstressful

Unstressful is a term coined in the video to describe a state of being where an individual is able to manage stress effectively, maintaining a calm and composed demeanor even in the face of challenges. It is the opposite of a distressed state and is achieved through understanding and applying the principles discussed in the video.

💡Feedback Loop

A feedback loop in the context of the video refers to the biological process where the body's initial stress response is followed by an assessment by the prefrontal cortex to determine if the stressor is still present. If no real threat is detected, the loop helps to calm the body down. However, if the stressor is continually perceived as present, the loop can become a cycle of ongoing stress.

💡Strain

Strain, in a physical context, refers to the deformation or change in shape of an object under stress. In the video, strain is used as an analogy to describe post-traumatic growth in humans, where the experience of stress or adversity leads to positive changes in one's character or resilience.

Highlights

The speaker introduces the topic of stress and the upcoming discussion about their new book, 'Unstressful', at the beginning of the transcript. (0:00)

The speaker humorously asks the audience if they have gained weight, showcasing their comfortable rapport with the attendees. (0:30)

The importance of happiness is mentioned, setting the stage for the discussion on stress and its impact on overall well-being. (1:00)

The speaker shares their journey to writing the book 'Unstressful', highlighting the collaboration with their co-author, Alice. (2:00)

The concept of stress as a survival mechanism is introduced, comparing it to the biological response to a threat. (3:00)

The explanation of cortisol's role in the stress response is provided, likening it to a turbocharger for the human body. (4:00)

The speaker discusses the negative feedback loop and its significance in managing stress levels. (5:00)

The importance of addressing stress within 90 seconds to prevent a continuous stress cycle is highlighted. (6:00)

The analogy of stress in humans compared to stress in physics provides a new perspective on dealing with stress. (7:00)

The speaker explains the three conditions under which individuals break due to stress: excessive load, trauma, and fatigue. (8:00)

The concept of burnout is discussed, relating it to the accumulation of stress over time. (9:00)

The speaker differentiates between anxiety, fear, worry, and panic, providing insights into how each affects individuals. (10:00)

The idea of post-traumatic growth is introduced, offering a positive outlook on the potential for personal development following a stressful event. (11:00)

The Three L's model (Limit, Learn, Listen) is introduced as a method for managing stress. (12:00)

The speaker invites the audience to a breakout session for further discussion and practical tips on dealing with stress. (13:00)

A free one-month gift from the speaker is offered to encourage participation in their 'Unstress' membership platform. (14:00)

The speaker concludes by emphasizing the potential for growth and resilience through understanding and managing stress. (15:00)

Transcripts

play00:01

[Music]

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hello hello they they just dropped my

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time from 25 minutes to 20 so uh yeah I

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I need to talk to you about stress and

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how to be

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[Laughter]

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unstressful a little stressful I would

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say oh now they're back to 25 thank you

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all right hallelujah how how beautiful

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is this place how many of you have been

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to other rasu before Oh my God we have a

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lot of new faces all right so for those

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who have been to newas before the most

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critical question we're going to discuss

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today is have I gained weight since last

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time so so you you have one of two

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options no you look as handsome as ever

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or yes fat hobbit which one one okay

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very good all

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right oh thank you all right I uh I I

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came to every wahas that ever happened

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including the one online when we were at

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uh at uh covid lockdown and uh at every

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one of them I spoke to you about

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happiness there was one where I spoke to

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to you about artificial intelligence and

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scared all of you uh yeah um but the

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idea is uh I thought I had the right to

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speak about happiness until I met my

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co-author on the next book which is

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called unstressful Alice law I think

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Alice is here somewhere but

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Alice okay if you if there she is yeah

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uh so Alice uh met me on her podcast she

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hosted me on her podcast and then she uh

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I hosted her on mine because of her

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incredible story and she's sort of if if

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you know Alice she's the sweetest calest

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person ever but she has views that are

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very clear and she said how do you earn

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the right to talk about happiness when

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everyone is so stressed okay and I was

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like oh interesting point someone else

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will talk about stress uh and she said

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no we should probably write a book about

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stress oh that's demanding okay uh and

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so I said okay let's just you know write

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down a few ideas and let's discuss them

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uh you know thinking that she will come

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up with something that I say not me and

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then I was completely taken by the idea

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it definitely is my best work at least

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in my personal view unstress was uh we

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wrote it together Alice is a very

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spiritual very feminine uh very uh um

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you know energy focused person I'm an

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engineer boring like hell so I basically

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yeah I basically you know the two of us

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together are writing something

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incredible we got unstress ready around

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a year and a bit ago but the publishing

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industry moves at the speed of a turtle

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so we're only going to be publishing

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this end of this year and for that Alice

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uh being unstressed said we're going to

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start a membership that I will give you

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a one Monon free uh gift of of at the

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end of the this conversation uh to try

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and get a million people out of stress

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every year as of 2024 okay so thank

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you so it is uh it sounds like a

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daunting task believe it or not I think

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we're really well set to do it okay so

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we started the membership around um

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November last year very very closed

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community we didn't expand it at all

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never advertised it and basically now

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we're getting a lot of corporates around

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the world quite interested in it you

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know when you get into the corporate

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space they start to really we have a

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consumer platform a corporate platform

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and the corporate platform hopefully

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will get us to the million very quickly

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now what is unstress about we're going

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to have two sessions one is I'm talking

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to you now for the remaining 22 minutes

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uh to give you eight definitions that

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get you thinking about stress and how

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stress really works and then Alice and I

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will have a breakout here in the theater

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at 5:20 to talk about some practical

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tips and answer all of your questions so

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what's going to happen is um you need to

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understand that stress as most people in

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the business world will tell you is not

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a bad thing right everyone who owns a

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business wants you to be stressed out of

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your head uh because you know the more

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stressed you are the more you'll perform

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and so they tell you that stress is a

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wonderful thing now in an interesting

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way stress is a wonderful thing and I

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think the most important definition to

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start with is what is stress now stress

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I'll explain first from a biological

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point of view how how the human machine

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works okay and the human machine is very

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straightforward if there is a threat

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represented in front of me a shows up

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right uh my uh um um you know let's say

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amydala starts the whole idea just

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catches up that there is a threat before

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I even think about it you know initiates

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a cocktail of hormones in my body don't

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worry about what they are but they

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eventually end up with the infamous

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cortisol right and once you have

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cortisol in your body cortisol is

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literally like the turbocharger any car

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fans here none oh my God all right guys

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nice to meet you right so so so

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basically you have those cars where you

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inject a lot of oxygen into the into the

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engine and then basically the power of

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the car increases that that is cortisol

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cortisol tells your body okay uh that

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you have a threat in front of you so it

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reconfigures the machine literally

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reconfigures the machine redirects

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calories to the right places you know

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stops uh your digestive system stops

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your kidney stops your uh um um liver

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from doing their normal function but

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dilates your your uh pupil so that you

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can see better uh gets you more focused

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directs more uh um you know glucose to

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your brain so that you can think faster

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sends a lot of your energy to your

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muscles so you can run away or fight the

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danger massively impressive when you

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think about it right absolutely nothing

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wrong with that if there is a a threat

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in front of you this is the absolute

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best survival mechanism we have as

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humans right the problem is in the when

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people talk about stress they talk about

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this stress cycle it's the cycle that

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stresses you right they never talk about

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what is known as the negative feedback

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loop and the negative feedback loop is

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basically quite interesting because you

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are stressed before you start thinking

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do you realize that so if someone shows

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up behind you and says boo right you

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don't think first if this is a tiger or

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a a human you just jump right you're

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stressed first because it is an

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emergency response and then the negative

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feedback loop basically once cortisol is

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flooding your system you start to uh

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engage your prefrontal cortex your your

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rational brain if you want to assess if

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there is actually a reason to be

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stressed at all and what happens is most

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of the time if there is no more tiger

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your pre prefrontal cortex will make an

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executive decision and the executive

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decision is no more threat calm down

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right and that's what you see gazals and

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antop doing in nature huh the tiger is

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chasing them and then they shake and

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then they they calm down no more

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stress the problem with our modern world

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is that stresses are not in the form of

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tigers anymore right so a Tiger shows up

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you are you your your entire system

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screams were going to die your boss

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shows up we're going to die your

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boyfriend says something annoying we're

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going to die right uh you didn't sit in

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the right seat uh that you wanted to sit

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in the theater we're going to die right

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and and and suddenly everything becomes

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a a a a constant uh state of mental

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stress where when your prefrontal cortex

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engages it says yeah I'm still not in

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the right seat we're going to die right

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and so you still stress over and over

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and over sometimes for years sometimes

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for a lifetime okay the interesting

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thing about the feedback loop is that I

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I I hosted uh Jill baly Taylor anyone

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aware of Jill's work Jill is an

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incredible neuroscientist who had a

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stroke that deactivated her left brain

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and she wrote a book that's called a

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stroke of insight had one of the most

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incredible TED talks in history a stroke

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of insight and basically spoke about

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what it is like to live in your right

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brain only which is fascinating I cry

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every time I hear it and and uh I hosted

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Jill on my podcast on slow-mo and Jill

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basically said that the entire system

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she calls it the 90c rules uh the 90c

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rule is from the minute you have

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cortisol in your blood you get stressed

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you you respond or you don't it doesn't

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matter within 90 seconds all of the

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hormones are flushed out of your body so

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you now have a chance to actually sit

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back and say it's all okay but then

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because we re-engage stress every 90

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seconds your body basically says no more

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cortisol we're still stressed right so

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if you were to let the biological Cycle

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takes take place you would actually end

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your stress every 90 seconds but some of

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us manag to renew that for 17 years 90

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seconds at a time do you understand that

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it's one thought that happens in your

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head and that one thought engages stress

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once again now to me when Alice and I

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discussed this it it started to become a

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problem because it is very natural for

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all of us huh your your partner says

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something hurtful on Friday you're

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stressed for six weeks right so Alice

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decided to look at this from her

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approach I decided of course when you

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know when things become tough you tend

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to do more of what you know how to do

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best so I ended up deciding to look at

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it mathematically okay and I attempted

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to understand the math of or the physics

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if you want of stress and it is very eye

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opening when you really think about it

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it's very eye opening because the the it

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is actually very straightforward to

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compare stress in humans to stress in

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physics if you if you remember in

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elementary school when they taught you

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that when you put pressure on an object

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okay there is force and then there is

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stress and stress is different than

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Force okay stress is you know as felt by

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an object an inanimate object is the

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amount of force applied to the object

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divided by the square area of the object

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right if a camel uh is walking on high

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heels in the desert it will sink in the

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sand because not only because of its

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weight but because that weight is

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distributed across a very uh thin area

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Okay however with the Hooves of the

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camel being this big the camel doesn't

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sink in the sand because the force is

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distributed across a very large area

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right so in that case stress in humans

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if you take the analogy is the challenge

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or the force applied to you divided by

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your abilities skills and resources to

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deal with that stress and that's not

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actually very difficult to understand

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for some of you as you look back at your

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20s for example you would freak up out

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about things then when your teenage son

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or daughter freaks about now you go like

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come on chill it's easy right you you

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you gain the experience and then you

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realize that you've gained skills

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abilities and resources and you can deal

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with stress a lot better okay from that

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equation you understand that to deal

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with stress has very little to do with

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with the external Force as a matter of

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fact so if the external forces applied

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to you out of your control what you can

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do is increase your abilities and skills

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and resources and then you will feel

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less stressed the challenge will be the

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same it will be a challenging time like

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the times we're going through now in

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business for example with economic

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crisis and geopolitical issues but you

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will not feel stressed about it you'll

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be carrying the same load and not

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stressed about it so why do why do we

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break then you know if we have an

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ability to carry stress before we break

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the problem with stress as I said stress

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is a superhuman machine it reconfigures

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your body in ways that are are

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incredible right but we still break and

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I uh and Alice found out that we break

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under three conditions okay one like in

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physics you break an object breaks when

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the load applied to the object is bigger

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than its ability to carry it right so

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you can do that in one of two ways in

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humans either keep adding stress okay so

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your boyfriend says something annoying

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and then your mother says something

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annoying and then your best friend says

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something annoying and and and so the

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load keeps adding until there is a point

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where you no longer can carry the load

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and you break that's one side the other

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side is known as trauma okay and Trauma

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is that very unexpected Too Fast Too

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Soon uh too much kind of event so one

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morning you wake up and you find

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yourself in an accident and it is a

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trauma right it's a trauma basically

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because that amount of force that's

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bigger than your ability was applied so

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quickly that it broke you that's one way

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we break I'll come back to that in a in

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a in a minute and tell you what happens

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after because it's quite

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inspiring the other way we break is what

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is known in physics as fatigue if you

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have heard of fatigue you know when uh

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when you get those plastic crapped

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things and you don't have a pair of

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scissors so you start to twist them back

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and forth right and if you do that 17

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times eventually in Material Science

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what ends up is the tensile forces

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between the molecules fade and so you it

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breaks

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very interesting huh so fatigue without

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a lot of force can break you okay and

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that's exactly the biggest pandemic of

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stress in our world today so trauma

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believe it or not is not that common

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Alice is going to talk about that a lot

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in in the breakout what is very common

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is

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burnout and burnout is the result of

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fatigue it's the result of applying a

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stress to you over and over and over and

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over and over until poof you wake up one

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morning and you can't get out of bed now

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fatigue in that case in humans will have

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an equation we break out we break we

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burn out when the number of stressors

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multiplied by the intensity of stressors

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multiplied by the frequency of applying

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each of them multiplied by the time of

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application is bigger than your ability

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okay so it's it's it could be simple

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simple simple stressors like your alarm

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in the morning is very very loud okay

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but do that every morning and then

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snooze it five times okay and then there

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is one morning where you just wake up

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and you shout at your kids and everyone

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because you can't take it anymore right

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it's the number of stressors multiplied

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by the intensity of each multiplied by

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the uh frequency of application

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multiplied by the time of applying each

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right so if you have a long commute if

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the commute is 1 hour it's more more

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stressful than if it's 20 minutes

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correct so that's the second way we

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break the third way we break is actually

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not about breaking at all it's about the

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process of getting to Breaking okay

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which I think again is very very common

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in our modern world today our our way of

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breaking in the modern world today uh if

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you if you if you really recognize the

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people around you we struggle with

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anxiety a lot more than we struggle with

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trauma a lot more sorry than we struggle

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with burnout a lot more than we struggle

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with trauma anxiety is a way of life

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okay it's actually quite staggering

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because I'm chill like a cucumber right

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nothing can like seriously very few

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things make me anxious but anxiety is so

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common and I I really had to study that

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and to understand anxiety we need to

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understand four definitions which which

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is what I call anxiety and all of its

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derivatives okay anxiety fear worry and

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panic are all the same family right

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let's talk about worry first when you're

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worried that means that you are

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suspecting there is a threat in the

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future okay you're you're not the threat

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doesn't happen you don't even have a

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confirmation that the stress will happen

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okay or the threat will happen but

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you're just like sort of like yeah you

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know it's an economic crisis I'll

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probably be laid off and when I'm laid

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off I'll probably go hungry and I'll be

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homeless and then someone will attack me

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in the street right you know I'm worried

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about that okay so so no confirmation

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whatsoever nobody has ever told you that

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you're not doing that well or that the

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company is going to lay off people but

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you see Facebook doing it you go like

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it's going to happen to me too right so

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worry if you feel worried most of us as

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a response to all four worry fear uh

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anxiety and panic we respond by trying

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to resolve the thing we're afraid of

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okay when you're worried you shouldn't

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do that at all okay when you're worried

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what you should do is verify if there is

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a reason for you to be worried so worry

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the key word in worry is I'm not sure

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I'm just suspecting I'm guessing Okay so

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try to get yourself to one of two places

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either no no no no what I'm guessing is

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wrong there is no evidence of that or

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get yourself to a place of fear okay

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fear is the second layer higher okay

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fear is I am confident there is going to

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be a threat in my future I am confident

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there is going to be a threat in the

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future is the time where you start to

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focus on you know de-stressing by

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dealing with the with the threat so if

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you tell yourself no no I'm confident

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there seems to be very strong rumors

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that the company is going to lay out lay

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lay off 10,000 people and I'm probably

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going to be one of them that's when you

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have a confirmation that there is a

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reason to stress and the answer to that

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is okay if the threat is happening what

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am I going to do about it how can I find

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another job how can I manage my finances

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better and so on now you need to deal

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with the threat

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how about panic and anxiety very

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interesting when you understand the

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mechanics behind them Panic is not at

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all related to the magnitude of the

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threat at all Panic is related to the

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time between now and the threat when you

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panic your brain is telling you the time

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between the threat and now is imminent

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it's very short okay I don't think I

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have the time to deal with it and so if

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you're feeling panicked what do you need

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to do not deal with the threat deal with

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time and when you deal with time what

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does that mean it means I want to get

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myself more time maybe by freeing myself

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up or I want to speed myself up by maybe

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soliciting help or you know working

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faster or whatever that's the answer to

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Panic it's not I want to deal with the

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threat it is I want to deal with time

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differently how about anxiety the big

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one anxiety is the biggest one okay

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anxiety is not related to the threat

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it's not related to time it's related to

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your ability to deal with it when you're

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anxious you're either guessing there is

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a threat in the future or aware

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confident that there is a threat in the

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future but you're telling yourself and

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I'm not going to be able to to deal with

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it I don't have the ability skills and

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resources to deal with it and so what's

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the answer to that the answer to that is

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very straightforward work on your skills

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and abilities if you feel anxious don't

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work on the stress don't work on the

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threat don't tell yourself this is the

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way I can you know avoid that uh threat

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tell yourself this is the way I can

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develop myself in ways so that I can

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deal with it and the anxiety will go

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away and for most people I've worked

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with on the topic when you tell them

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okay okay it's confirmed that there is a

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threat it's confirmed that you're not

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ready what can you do to be ready the

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anxiety goes away they suddenly focus on

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what can I do to become ready for this

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I'm not trying to hope that it's not

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going to happen I'm trying to hope that

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when it happens I'm going to be good

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enough to deal with it okay so we've

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defined def

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stress we've defined uh um how we break

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under excessive load trauma or a lot of

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stress we've defined anxiety uh fear

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panic and worry right uh we need to now

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Define what in physics is known as um

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strain strain is less discussed strain

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is the is the deformation of an object

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if you stretch a rubber band and keep it

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stretched for a couple of days and let

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it go it's bigger than when you started

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the the the physical properties of that

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rubber band become different so that it

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can deal with more stretch in the future

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happens to us as humans known as

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post-traumatic growth okay so those for

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of us who who recover and heal after a

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trauma or those of us who Sway With the

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challenges they don't resist and become

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rigid okay they become more flexible in

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their approach to life and then they

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become chill as a cucumber right as life

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comes to them they go like oh yeah right

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I I knew that one is coming okay and

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when you really see it that way suddenly

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there is hope in stress not only that

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stress is a survival mechanism but it's

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also the ultimate format for growth do

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you understand that and one of the

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things that really really annoy me when

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we talk in the spiritual circles about

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healing okay is that it makes healing

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feel like I'm broken don't have to be

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broken to heal okay I don't like the

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idea of assuming that I'm broken I like

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the idea of assuming I'm challenged and

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as I'm challenged I'm going to grow I'm

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going to learn I'm going to become

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unstressed so that in the future when

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that challenge comes again I don't feel

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bad about

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it okay so believe it or not I will

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finish on time because I have to give

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you one more topic and then uh we go we

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will discuss more on the on the breakout

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so again between Alis and I beautiful

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beautiful partnership uh we ended up

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saying so how can we we simplify all of

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this okay how can we simplify a model

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that will work every time remember

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unstress is not about distressing you

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it's about making you unstressful so

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that when future stresses happen you're

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chill okay which is a very serious life

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lifestyle change if you think about it

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and we said there is a model that's

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called The Three L's which are limit

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learn and listen Okay limit learn and

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listen are quite interesting in terms of

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they deal with all forms of uh stress

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Alice in the breakout is going to cover

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something we call a ton of stress t o n

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n all of the different types of stress

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and for every one of those stresses you

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can either limit so basically reduce the

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stress is its intensity its frequency

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and its uh uh time of application and so

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on right you can learn develop your

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abilities and skills and her most

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beautiful contribution to the book or

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you can listen Okay and the idea is that

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you we are made up of four components a

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mind a heart a body and a soul that's

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every human and each of those gets

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stressed differently and each of those

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is talking to us all the time it's

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talking to us not only to say hey by the

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way I'm stressed okay it's also talking

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to us to tell us exactly how to distress

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it's telling us such clear messages okay

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and we don't listen or at least we

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listen but we don't understand and if

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you can manage to listen to your mind

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body heart and soul most of the time the

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stress is so easy to take to to go away

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and it goes away early and you know with

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early diagnosis you don't have to wait

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until you break down and then deal with

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it so the Three L's as as your

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accountabilities as we call them are

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something we're going to try discuss in

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the breakout um we we want you to the

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the book is 400 pages so 20 minutes

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doesn't work okay but uh but and and the

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40 minutes of the breakout won't work

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but in the breakout we will take you

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through a ton of stress all of the

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different types of stress and how you

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can deal with them and we take you

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through the realization of the number of

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nuisances that you allow in your life or

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ends as we call them okay and how you

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can limit stress right after that

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because we love wo so much and Karen I

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haven't hugged you yet uh um you know we

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we we want to give everyone that month

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uh in unstress of.com so you go to

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unstress of.com and you use the uh the

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promo code uh oaso

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2023 okay can you spell wo yes wo 2023

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right you get a month free we have tons

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of content we're now in the middle of

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mental stress so you can watch as much

play24:41

of it as you want if you want to stay

play24:43

with us we we have basically monthly

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webinars and so on if you want to stay

play24:47

with us welcome if not at least we will

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feel that we've given you enough to

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become unstress if you spend a month

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watching the content that we have so far

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uh with that we thank you very much I

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will see you

play24:58

at 520 in the

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