Life is short (how to spend it wisely) ⏱
Summary
TLDR这个视频脚本探讨了我们一生中与时间的关系如何变化,以及我们的社交圈如何随着年龄增长而演变。从童年时期的家庭为中心,到青少年时期的友谊,再到成年后的伴侣和工作伙伴,我们的关注点不断转移。视频还提到了随着年龄的增长,我们独处的时间也在增加。通过这些发现,视频鼓励观众珍惜与家人和朋友的时光,培养健康的同事关系,并学会享受独处。
Takeaways
- 🕰️ 随着年龄的增长,我们对时间的感觉和关系会发生变化。
- 🧒 童年时感觉时间无限,成年后则对时间流逝的快速有了深刻认识。
- 👨👩👧 我们一生中与谁共度时光的模式会不断演变。
- 🌍 视频中提到,作者29岁的母亲作为难民移民到加拿大,带着三个孩子开始新生活。
- 🏠 童年时家庭生活充满活力,与家人共度时光是宝贵的记忆。
- 🎓 成年后,与家人相处的时间会大幅减少,转而与朋友和伴侣共度更多时光。
- 🌐 作者26岁时从加拿大移居到荷兰,与伴侣团聚,感受到与家人分离的情感。
- 📈 根据Our World和Data的研究报告,人们在不同生命周期阶段与不同人群的互动时间有所不同。
- 👪 随着年龄的增长,人们会更多地独自度过时间。
- 💡 视频中提到四个关键点:重视与家人的时间、有意识地培养友谊、珍惜与孩子的时光、以及培养与同事的健康关系。
- 🧘♀️ 面对未来可能增加的独自时间,学习享受独处的时光是重要的。
- 🤝 作者通过BetterHelp平台找到了适合自己的治疗师,强调了在线心理咨询的便利性。
Q & A
为什么小时候我们感觉时间是无限的?
-小时候,我们对未来充满无限可能的认识,没有太多生活压力和责任,因此感觉时间是无限的,可以做很多想做的事情。
随着年龄的增长,人们对时间的感觉如何变化?
-随着年龄的增长,人们开始意识到时间的快速流逝,意识到没有什么是永恒不变的,因此对时间的感知和珍惜程度会有所改变。
为什么我们的社交圈在我们一生中会发生变化?
-我们的社交圈会随着生活阶段的变化而变化,比如从童年时期的家庭,到青少年时期的朋友,再到成年后的伴侣和同事,这些变化反映了我们不同生活阶段的需求和重点。
视频中提到,为什么作者感到离开家庭移居国外像是抛弃了家人?
-作者感到像是抛弃了家人,因为她为了和伴侣在一起,从加拿大移居到荷兰,这让她感到对原生家庭有所亏欠,尽管她的母亲告诉她,这是生活的常态,每个人都会为了自己的生活做出选择。
作者从'our world and data'的报告中得到了哪些启示?
-作者从报告中了解到,我们一生中与不同人群共度的时间是变化的,从童年时期的家人,到青少年时期的朋友,再到成年后的伴侣和同事,以及老年时期独自一人的时间越来越多。
作者想要如何优先安排与家人的时间?
-作者想要通过更多地联系家人、抓住与他们相聚的机会,以及尽可能多地与他们见面来优先安排与家人的时间,因为她意识到与家人共度的时间是有限的。
作者对于友谊有什么见解?
-作者认为随着年龄的增长,我们与朋友共度的时间并没有想象中那么多,因此有意投资于几段深厚友谊是非常有价值的。
作者如何看待与孩子们共度的时间?
-作者认为孩子们成长迅速,不会长时间待在家里,因此珍惜与孩子们共度的时间非常重要。
作者对与同事的关系有什么建议?
-作者建议培养与同事的健康关系,通过表达感激、沟通和投资于这些关系,可以带来积极的影响。
为什么作者想要学习如何享受独处的时光?
-作者想要学习享受独处的时光,是因为她意识到随着年龄的增长,人们会越来越频繁地独自度过时间,而且独处并不一定意味着孤独。
betterhelp是一家怎样的公司?
-betterhelp是一家在线心理咨询服务公司,用户可以在家中通过文本、电话或视频聊天的方式与专业治疗师进行交流。
Outlines
🌱 时间感知与人际关系的演变
本段讨论了随着我们成长,我们对时间的感知和人际关系的变化。小时候,我们感觉时间是无限的,但随着年龄的增长,我们开始意识到时间的快速流逝和事物的不断变化。视频作者通过自己的家庭故事,探讨了不同人生阶段与家人、朋友、伴侣和同事相处时间的变化。特别提到了作者的父母作为难民移民到加拿大的经历,以及作者自己成年后移居荷兰的决定。通过这些个人经历,作者引出了'Our World and Data'的研究,展示了人们在一生中如何分配与不同人群相处的时间,强调了家庭、友谊、浪漫关系和工作关系的重要性。
🤔 对时间分配的反思与未来展望
在这段中,作者反思了如何分配时间给生活中重要的人和事。根据研究数据,作者提出了几点建议:一是要优先与家人共度时光,意识到与家人相处的时间是有限的;二是要重视并投入于少数深厚的友谊中;三是要珍惜与孩子相处的时间,因为他们成长迅速;四是与同事建立健康的关系,因为他们占据了我们大量的时间;最后,作者表达了对未来独居生活的期待,希望学会享受独处的时光。作者还分享了自己通过BetterHelp在线平台寻求心理咨询的经历,强调了在线心理咨询的便利性和有效性。
Mindmap
Keywords
💡时间的流逝
💡家庭
💡友谊
💡孤独感
💡移民
💡工作
💡成长
💡跨文化经历
💡人际关系的演变
💡时间管理
Highlights
随着年龄的增长,我们对时间的感觉和关系发生了变化。
随着年龄的增长,我们开始意识到时间的快速流逝,没有什么是永远不变的。
我们一生中与人共度时光的方式也在不断演变。
作者29岁时移民加拿大,父母作为难民生活了10年。
作者记得童年时家中充满了活力,三姐妹经常一起玩闹和争吵。
作者高中毕业后搬到校园生活,与家人相处的时间大幅减少。
26岁时,作者搬到荷兰与伴侣团聚。
作者发现,随着年龄的增长,我们的社交网络开始缩小。
作者强调要珍惜与家人的时间,意识到与他们相处的日子是有限的。
作者建议要对友谊有所意图,投资于几个深厚友谊。
作者提到要珍惜与孩子的时间,因为他们不会长时间待在家里。
作者认为要培养与同事的健康关系,因为与他们相处的时间几乎与伴侣一样多。
作者想要学会更舒适地独处,尽管这个想法让她感到害怕。
作者分享了使用BetterHelp在线心理咨询服务的个人经历。
BetterHelp允许用户在家中通过在线聊天与心理医生交流。
BetterHelp提供了超过25,000名经验丰富的心理医生,用户可以根据需要更换医生。
BetterHelp提供了首次使用优惠,可以享受首月10%的折扣。
作者鼓励观众思考他们如何分配时间,以及是否在与最重要的人建立关系。
Transcripts
so as we go through life our
relationship with time changes when
we're kids we feel like time is
Limitless we have all the time in the
world to go where we want do what we
want be who we want but as we get older
we become acutely aware of how quickly
time is passing Us by and how nothing
stays the same forever
[Music]
throughout our lifetime the evolution of
who we spend our time with changes and I
find it incredibly fascinating and it's
what I wanted to chat about in today's
video I also briefly want to thank
betterhelp for sponsoring today's video
but we're going to chat more about them
at the end
foreign
was just 29 years old when she
immigrated to Canada my parents had been
refugees for 10 years and they were
immigrating with three kids I was the
youngest I was just a little baby at the
time and they worked tirelessly to build
a new life for us like I know now just
how difficult it was for them at the
time learning a new language finding new
ways to make a living all while living
very far away from where they once
called home but I do remember that
growing up our house was so Lively we
were three girls so we played around a
lot we fought probably even more but we
were always together
I vividly remember building blanket
forts with my sisters we would go
camping with our parents and cousins and
I'd squeeze the jelly into the donuts at
the diner that my parents once owned but
then it felt like I blinked my eyes I
graduated high school and I moved out of
the house to live on campus I hadn't
given much thought yet to the fact that
the days and hours I'd be spending with
my sisters and my parents that it would
take a nosedive
that we'd see each other every few weeks
for holidays and birthdays but most of
my time I was now spending with my
friends
and then similar to my mom at the age of
26 I moved overseas unlike her I wasn't
a refugee I didn't have kids but I moved
from Canada to the Netherlands so that I
could be with my partner so that I could
be with Robin
and I often felt that I had abandoned my
family and I would even tell my mom that
and she would say you know but I did it
too I also left my mom to be with your
dad and to start a family and my mom did
it to her mom and her mom before that so
that's just life
and so even though the life stories of
me and my mom could not be more
different I think it's so fascinating to
see that there are some similarities
with all of our life stories and so
recently I came across the findings from
our world and data it's a research
organization and they published this
report that shows who we spend our time
with across our lifetime and I think
it's something we can all relate to so
what they show is that as children we
spend most of our time with our families
and that makes sense right they're the
ones who teach us guide us and help us
navigate the world
and then as we enter adolescence our
time with family tails off and we spend
more time with our friends it's a
crucial time for us to learn how to
build relationships but then you fast
forward to Young adulthood and our Focus
shifts to romantic relationships we
spend more time with our partner it's a
time when many of us start to settle
down and maybe even consider having
children of Our Own
and at around the same time we spend a
significant number of our hours with our
co-workers building the foundations for
our future and providing for our
families
but then as we age our social networks
start to shrink we retire the kids leave
the house and we spend an increasing
amount of time alone
and this is now something I'm seeing
with my parents my dad is easing into
retirement and my mom is actually
currently on a solo backpacking trip
it's all just a very different life now
to the one they started in Canada when
they were my age and these graphs have
really got me thinking about who is it
we're spending our time with and are we
spending our time wisely and if there's
anything I've taken away from the graphs
it's this the first is to prioritize
time with family knowing full well that
our days are now numbered I want to try
to not brush off opportunities to
connect with them more I want to call
them more I want to see them more if I
can the second is to be intentional
about friendships I was honestly really
surprised to see that we don't spend all
that much time with our friends as we
get older but I do think it's really
worthwhile to have a few close and
really deep friendships that we invest
in I don't think we need many friends
but just a few good ones you know
the third is to cherish time with kiddos
Robin and I don't have kids of our own
yet but I'm seeing how crazy fast my
nieces and nephews are growing up and
kids don't stay in the nest for long
it's what my parents always said to us
too and I didn't much listen to it at
the time but now I see what they meant
I think the fourth is to nurture healthy
relationships with our co-workers I
think it was astonishing to see how much
time we spend with them almost as much
time as we spend with our partners and
so showing appreciation communicating
compassionately and investing in the
relationships I think can make a really
big difference
and then lastly I think what stood out
to me the most what was most shocking
was to see the graph that showed how
much time we spend alone and so looking
into the future I want to learn to
become more comfortable with being alone
because the idea frankly scares me but I
know that being alone doesn't
necessarily have to mean being lonely I
do find that when I have a moment alone
I either distract myself or I want to
hang out with Robin I want us to do
things together
but we arguably always spend more time
alone than we do with anyone else and
even more so later in life so I do want
to learn to enjoy more of my own company
for the sake of My Future Self but
that's just my take on it I'm curious
though how you perceive these graphs do
you feel like how you're spending your
time is is spent wisely kind of building
relationships with the people that
matter the most to you in your life and
how do you feel about the graph that
shows that we spend more and more time
alone as we get older I'm genuinely
curious to hear your thoughts I'll see
you in the comments and again I wanted
to think better help for sponsoring
today's video when I moved to the
Netherlands I had a case of being proper
homesick and so I made an appointment to
see a therapist it didn't honestly go
that well I think because of language
and cultural differences and then I
found an incredible expat therapist but
I had to commute two hours to see her
every time and then I discovered better
help and I do wish I had learned about
them sooner because I think it would
have saved me a lot of time and
frustration what I really appreciate
about better help is that you can chat
with your therapist from the comfort of
your own home because everything is
online and you can request a new
therapist anytime if you feel it isn't
working out with a therapist that you've
been matched with and for me that's a
huge deal so if you're struggling with
anything and you feel like you could
benefit from chatting with somebody
about it then you can get the ball
rolling with better help just by
answering at first a few questions about
what you're looking for in therapy this
is then going to help them match you
with the right therapist from their
network of over 25
000 experienced therapists and from
there you can get chatting however you
feel most comfortable via text phone or
video chat you can message your
therapist at any time and most
importantly you can schedule live
sessions whenever it's most convenient
for you if you do want to try out better
health they're actually offering 10 off
of your first month just be sure to
visit betterhelp.com forward slash pick
up lines or check out the link I'm going
to leave for you in the description box
below that's where I'm actually also
going to leave you the links for the
graphs for my world and data in case you
want to check it out for yourself I
think the graphs are incredibly thought
provoking and I think it just puts
things into perspective I often also
feel that we need to be remind did more
often than we need to be taught and I
think that's the case with these graphs
it's things that we kind of all already
know but it's just good to see it from
time to time you know so anyway thanks
so much for enjoying this cup of tea
with me it's really lovely I really
appreciate you and pick up lines signing
off I'll see you in the next video
[Music]
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