The Milkman - Award Winning British Comedy Short starring Joe Bor, Nick Helm & Rachel Stubbings

Howard Cohen Makes Comedy

18 Nov 201406:47

Summary

TLDRThe speaker humorously reflects on various topics, starting with a joke about not having a navigation system and referencing personal anecdotes about milk preferences. He discusses lactose intolerance, his loyalty to local milk despite supply issues, and a conversation about changing milk suppliers. The script then shifts to casual banter, including a joke about butter, followed by plans for a curry with friends. Throughout, the speaker uses milk as a metaphor for life, suggesting it can be refreshing but sometimes turns sour. The tone remains lighthearted and quirky.

Takeaways

😅 The speaker jokes about not having a Sat Nav and using their boss as a map but advises not to tell their boss.
🥛 The speaker believes lactose intolerance is a myth created by Coca-Cola, claiming they have the best milk in the country.
🧀 The speaker stands by the quality of their milk, with a personal motto: 'If the milk's off, so am I.'
📉 There's a current problem with supply and demand; the speaker mentions having more supply than demand.
👋 The speaker has lost some customers recently, partly due to the rise of Tesco Metro, but believes most customers remain loyal.
🤔 The speaker contemplates switching milk suppliers for cheaper options but criticizes the big companies' milk quality.
🧀 The speaker lists some of the best products that come from milk, such as cheese and chocolate, while humorously mixing up the order.
🚗 The speaker shares that their vehicle has two mirrors and notes the challenges of working unsociable hours.
🥴 The speaker tells a joke about how to tell if someone likes butter, but the delivery is awkward, leading to an apology.
🎭 The speaker pretends to take a phone call but admits it was practice, and compares milk to life, saying it can be refreshing or turn sour, but it doesn't have to.

Q & A

What is the speaker's opinion on lactose intolerance?
-The speaker believes that lactose intolerance is a myth, possibly created by Coca-Cola, and refuses to accept it.
What does the speaker use as a 'navigation tool'?
-The speaker humorously claims that their boss is their map, implying that they rely on their boss for directions or decisions.
How does the speaker feel about the milk in their country?
-The speaker is proud of the milk in their country, stating that it’s the best in the world and they stand by it.
What is the speaker's motto regarding milk?
-The speaker's motto is 'If the milk's off, so am I,' meaning that if the milk is bad, they consider themselves bad or in a bad situation.
What issue does the speaker mention about supply and demand?
-The speaker notes that there is currently more supply than demand in their line of work, causing some problems.
Why has the speaker lost some customers?
-The speaker mentions losing customers due to competition from Tesco Metro and cheaper alternatives.
How does the speaker feel about the quality of milk from big suppliers?
-The speaker criticizes the milk from big suppliers, saying it is 'crap' and comes directly from the udder, suggesting it's of low quality.
What are some of the speaker's thoughts on milk-related products?
-The speaker lists products like cheese, chocolate, and hot chocolate as examples of great things that come from milk.
What are some downsides of the speaker's job?
-The speaker mentions unsociable hours and being tired as some of the downsides of their job.
How does the speaker connect milk to life in the end?
-The speaker compares milk to life, saying it can be brilliant and refreshing but can also turn sour, though it doesn't have to.

Outlines

00:00

🧭 Navigating Life Without a Sat Nav (And Loyalty to Milk)

In this paragraph, the speaker humorously discusses their lack of a Sat Nav, relying instead on their boss for directions, followed by a lighthearted commentary about being lactose intolerant. They jokingly suggest that lactose intolerance is a myth created by Coca-Cola. The speaker is proud of the milk in their country, using the motto, 'If the milk's off, so am I,' to highlight their loyalty to quality milk. They mention the challenges of supply and demand in the milk industry, losing some customers to competitors like Tesco, but maintaining a loyal base. A conversation about changing milk suppliers leads to a defense of local milk quality, contrasting it with the competition. The conversation ends with a comical transaction where the speaker waves off the need for change, signaling their laid-back attitude.

05:01

☎️ Conversations, Curry, and Practicing Life’s Dialogues

This paragraph shifts to a phone call, where the speaker seems to be arranging a curry outing with a person. However, it’s later revealed that the call was just a practice, as the speaker had been rehearsing a conversation for no one in particular. The speaker reflects on milk as a metaphor for life, saying that just like milk, life can be brilliant and refreshing, but it can also turn sour. The reflection concludes on a hopeful note, suggesting that things don't necessarily have to go bad. Background music sets a reflective, almost philosophical tone to this section.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Sat Nav

Short for satellite navigation, Sat Nav refers to a device used for GPS navigation. In the script, the speaker humorously mentions not having a Sat Nav and instead using their 'boss' as guidance, which reflects a reliance on external direction in their work life. This concept is linked to the theme of dependency and humorous detachment from technology.

💡Lactose Intolerance

Lactose intolerance is a medical condition where an individual has difficulty digesting lactose, a sugar found in milk. In the script, the speaker dismisses their doctor's diagnosis of lactose intolerance, calling it a myth created by Coca-Cola. This reflects a playful skepticism toward modern health trends and corporate influence, which ties into the broader commentary on milk consumption.

💡Milk

Milk is a recurring theme throughout the script, symbolizing both a literal product the speaker is involved with and a metaphor for life’s experiences. The speaker stands by the quality of their milk, using it to represent reliability, tradition, and comfort. The repeated references to milk underscore its significance as a central topic in the dialogue.

💡Supply and Demand

Supply and demand is an economic concept where the availability of a product and the consumers' desire for it determine its price and market dynamics. In the script, the speaker mentions a problem with supply and demand for milk, highlighting an imbalance in the market. This adds a layer of realism to the otherwise humorous conversation, touching on the business challenges faced in the milk industry.

💡Tesco Metro

Tesco Metro is a smaller-format supermarket chain in the UK. The speaker mentions losing customers to Tesco Metro, which reflects the competitive pressures faced by small businesses. This reference introduces the theme of loyalty and competition in the retail market, with a specific focus on how big companies affect small, local suppliers.

💡Cheese

Cheese is one of the products derived from milk, mentioned by the speaker as one of 'the best things' to come from milk. The reference to cheese, along with other milk-based products, emphasizes the importance of milk not just as a drink but as a versatile ingredient that is embedded in everyday life.

💡Windshield wipers

Windshield wipers are used on vehicles to clear the windshield during rain. The speaker introduces this mundane feature in a list of practical aspects of their vehicle, but it also metaphorically points to the speaker's ability to 'clear' their view of obstacles and keep moving forward, even in difficult conditions. This fits the theme of perseverance in the script.

💡Un sociable hours

Un sociable hours refer to working at times that are outside the typical 9-to-5 schedule, often late at night or early in the morning. The speaker mentions the downsides of working unsociable hours, including fatigue. This introduces the theme of the sacrifices made in certain professions, highlighting the challenges faced by those who work in the service industry.

💡Indian Ocean

The Indian Ocean is referenced humorously when the speaker suggests going for a swim, before quickly correcting themselves and discussing an Indian restaurant instead. This playful moment showcases the speaker’s whimsical nature and reflects the casual, everyday humor that runs through the script.

💡Sour

Sour is used metaphorically to describe both milk and life. The speaker compares sour milk to life's potential to 'turn sour' or go wrong. This idea ties into the script's broader reflection on how circumstances can change unexpectedly, but it also carries an optimistic note that things 'don’t have to' go bad.

Highlights

The speaker jokes about their 'map' being their boss.

The speaker shares a humorous opinion about lactose intolerance being a myth created by Coca-Cola.

They proudly claim that their country has the best milk in the world.

They have a personal motto: 'If the milk's off, so am I.'

A supply and demand problem is mentioned, with more supply than demand at the moment.

They have lost some customers over the years due to the rise of Tesco Metro.

The speaker contemplates canceling a milk order in favor of cheaper options nearby.

A debate ensues over whether cheaper milk from bigger companies is inferior.

The speaker humorously claims that the best things come from milk, like cheese and chocolate.

They joke about not having change and suggest 'just keeping it'.

They comment on the challenges of their job, including unsociable hours.

A funny interaction about butter and having two chins leads to an awkward moment.

The speaker offers milk and engages in casual banter about curry and going out.

A humorous conversation follows about going to the Indian Ocean, referencing curry plans.

The speaker philosophizes about milk, saying it can be brilliant or turn sour, just like life.