How To Navigate The Lonely Chapter (Men Aged 18-25)
Summary
TLDRThe video discusses the journey of self-improvement, particularly for young men. It addresses the challenges of choosing between a familiar, pleasure-seeking lifestyle or embracing uncertainty to pursue growth. The speaker emphasizes the importance of mindset, surrounding oneself with like-minded individuals, and cutting out habits that hinder progress. He encourages persistence and patience, acknowledging that the journey can feel lonely, but ultimately leads to a better, more fulfilling life. The message is aimed at helping viewers navigate their own self-development journey and stay focused on long-term goals.
Takeaways
- 💪 Young men on self-improvement journeys often face uncertainty, not knowing exactly where they belong.
- 🔙 There are two options: return to old habits or keep moving forward with self-improvement, despite the discomfort.
- ⏳ The self-improvement phase is a sustained period that can last from 1 to 5 years or more, depending on when the journey begins.
- 🚶 This journey often feels lonely, as many around you may not share the same goals or mindset.
- 🤔 It's natural to face uncertainty and moments of doubt, but it's essential to push through for long-term growth.
- 🧠 Mindset change is critical, shifting from negativity and self-doubt to positivity and taking control of one's life.
- 👥 Surrounding oneself with people who are ahead in the journey, such as older individuals or mentors, can provide valuable insights.
- ✂️ Cutting out old habits and activities that no longer serve personal growth is crucial to achieving new goals.
- 🌱 Self-belief and preparing oneself for the next level are vital to attracting the desired life and relationships.
- 📅 Patience and persistence are key throughout the self-development journey, as results may take months or even years to manifest.
Q & A
What are the two options a young man faces during his self-improvement journey?
-He can either return to his previous life, seeking short-term pleasure, or continue down a path of uncertainty and personal growth, despite the challenges.
Why might some young men feel uncertain during their self-improvement journey?
-Many young men face uncertainty because they are unsure of where they belong or what they want to achieve, while observing that others around them may not share their goals or interests.
What does the speaker suggest about returning to old habits and relationships?
-The speaker warns that going back to old habits, such as spending time with old friends or partners who no longer align with one's values, can lead to dissatisfaction and hinder personal growth.
Why does the speaker emphasize mindset in the self-improvement journey?
-Mindset is crucial because a negative outlook can trap individuals in mediocrity. The speaker stresses shifting to a positive mindset, taking control, and reprogramming old beliefs to make progress.
What advice does the speaker offer for finding the right social circles?
-The speaker suggests seeking out people who are further along the journey, whether older or more experienced, and learning from them to gain valuable life insights and inspiration.
How does the speaker describe the influence of old friends and bad habits on self-improvement?
-Old friends and bad habits may hold someone back from reaching their full potential, especially if these activities no longer align with their goals. The speaker advises cutting ties with behaviors that do not support growth.
Why does the speaker believe patience and persistence are essential during self-improvement?
-Progress is often delayed, and results from hard work may not appear for months or years. Patience and persistence are necessary to endure this lag and stay committed to long-term goals.
How does the speaker view uncertainty in the self-improvement process?
-Uncertainty is an inevitable part of the journey, and while uncomfortable, it is necessary for personal growth. Embracing this uncertainty helps individuals position themselves for future success.
What is the speaker’s stance on living a conventional life versus pursuing personal growth?
-The speaker acknowledges that living a conventional life is fine for those who find fulfillment in it, but suggests that for those on a self-improvement journey, it may not be enough to bring lasting satisfaction.
What role does changing beliefs play in achieving a better life, according to the speaker?
-Changing deeply ingrained beliefs, often instilled by parents or society, is essential to break free from limiting patterns and achieve a life aligned with one's true desires and goals.
Outlines
🚀 The Fork in the Road of Self-Improvement
This paragraph explores the dilemma faced by young men on the path of self-improvement. They have two options: return to their past lifestyles, filled with familiar yet unfulfilling activities like hanging out with friends, drinking, and working a disliked job, or continue down an uncertain path of personal growth. The speaker reflects on how many struggle with feeling out of place, questioning why others aren't pursuing the same progress. This phase of uncertainty is a common experience for men aged 18-30, and the speaker admits to being in this stage himself, emphasizing that it is a necessary part of the journey toward achieving personal goals.
💡 Positioning Yourself for Success
This section addresses the importance of mindset in overcoming the challenges of self-improvement. The speaker shares personal insights on hitting a 'ceiling' in life, where despite hard work, results aren't immediately visible. They emphasize the time lag between effort and rewards, suggesting that this delay can be demotivating. The speaker reflects on how shifting from a negative to a positive mindset was crucial in their transformation, rejecting the belief that life’s hardships are uncontrollable. The key takeaway is that a strong, positive mindset, built through meditation and reflection, is essential for breaking free from societal conditioning and achieving a fulfilling life.
🌱 Building a Supportive Network
The speaker discusses the value of surrounding oneself with individuals who are further along in their self-improvement journey. This can include older, wiser people or peers who have achieved more. These individuals can provide valuable lessons, helping one grow and avoid the traps of negative influences from old friends or unproductive activities. The speaker encourages letting go of ego and learning from others, acknowledging that people naturally gravitate towards those who add value to their lives. By doing this, one can have deeper, more meaningful conversations and gain experiences that contribute to personal growth.
✂️ Cutting Out Unproductive Habits
This paragraph stresses the importance of cutting ties with habits and activities that no longer serve one’s goals. The speaker advises that as one progresses on their self-improvement journey, they must reduce involvement in past behaviors that don't align with their future aspirations. Whether it’s fitness, career, or relationships, the need for clarity on personal goals is emphasized. The speaker highlights that individuals who are already at the level you aim to reach will not associate with people engaging in counterproductive activities. Therefore, it's essential to feel deserving of a higher level of life and to believe in one’s worthiness to achieve it.
💪 Persistence and Patience in Self-Improvement
The speaker concludes by addressing the importance of persistence and patience in navigating the difficult, often lonely, chapter of self-improvement. They acknowledge how challenging it can be for young men, particularly in today’s world filled with distractions and poor advice. The speaker shares their own experience with these struggles and offers encouragement to avoid vices, stay focused, and use the advice from the video to move forward. They offer coaching services to help with mindset and belief adjustments, which they believe are key to overcoming the hardest parts of the self-improvement journey.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Self-Improvement Journey
💡Uncertainty
💡Mindset
💡Breaking Free
💡Tribal Mentality
💡Lagging Time
💡Conditioning
💡Vices and Distractions
💡Law of Attraction
💡Older Mentors
Highlights
A young man starting a self-improvement journey faces uncertainty about where he belongs.
He has two options: go back to his old life of comfort and pleasures, or continue on the path of uncertainty and growth.
The period of uncertainty can last several years, and it’s a necessary phase in the journey of self-improvement.
It's important to position oneself well during this period to ensure success when breaking through.
Progress is not immediate, and the results of hard work may not show for months or even years.
Mindset is the most crucial factor in navigating this journey, especially shifting from a negative to a positive mindset.
Societal conditioning and beliefs can limit personal growth, and breaking free from these is key to achieving more.
Spending time with people who are more advanced, in fitness, career, or life, can accelerate personal development.
Cutting out old habits and activities that no longer serve personal growth is necessary for advancement.
Surrounding oneself with like-minded individuals can provide valuable life lessons and support along the way.
Patience and persistence are essential qualities for success in the self-improvement journey.
Law of Attraction: One must believe they are already deserving and worthy of achieving their goals.
The journey is often lonely, but it’s essential to stay the course, as the desired outcome will come with persistence.
The speaker empathizes with the struggle, noting the increasing difficulty young men face due to modern distractions and poor advice.
Final advice: Focus on mindset and beliefs, and use practical strategies to navigate this difficult but rewarding journey.
Transcripts
any young man who starts his
selfimprovement journey is likely to go
through a period of sustained
unknown not knowing exactly where he
belongs this man this young man has two
options he can go back to where he was
before he can go back with the boys from
school go out for beers on the weekend
get back with his girlfriend who he
doesn't even like doesn't respect go
back to a job he hates and he can seek a
very pleasure seeking life or he can go
down the other path you can keep going
down a path of
uncertainty figuring it all out not
knowing exactly what and where he is
aiming for making progression and
looking around at the people around him
and just
thinking why is everyone else not doing
the same thing as
me this chapter could be virtually
anyone from the age of 18 to 25 or even
30 years old this has been me and I
would say it still is to some degree
and I don't think it is likely that you
will be able to navigate your journey of
self-development finding yourself going
from kind of a state of mediocracy to
something actually that you wanted to
achieve in your life without going
through this chapter so I think the best
thing you can do is position yourself
very well so that when you come out of
this chapter of your life you're in a
very good position to kick on and get to
where you want to be you don't want this
chapter to be any longer drawn out than
necessary because it's already a
sustained period as I mentioned it could
be it could be one year for you it could
be 3 years it could be 5 years it
probably depends exactly when you start
your journey there's 16 year olds on
self-improvement maybe maybe you're one
of them which which is crazy by the way
I think being 16 and and being on
self-improvement I have a lot of respect
for that but yeah it kind of shows the
state of the world and Society we are
living in in in this day but if you are
around this age 18 19 it's likely going
to be a few years of you kind of not
really knowing you have your kind of
friends from school and you started
going to the gym and they they laugh at
you and think why why why is he doing
this he doesn't need to do this we're
we're not doing it why doesn't he just
come out come into town with the boys
have a few beers go to the clubs do all
of that and I I've done that anyway
I've done that myself and it wasn't
fulfilling it was never me it's never
what I really wanted to do but I
followed the crowd I wanted to fit in
and I'm sure you feel like this with we
all go through this period we all want
to fit in we're tribal creatures it's
natural for us to feel like this but we
all kind of have this thing in the back
of the M our minds we have we we're just
different to to the ordinary people out
there that just are okay with living
like this and there's nothing wrong with
these people at all it it's fine to live
along those lines it's it's fine to live
that life if that's authentic to you if
that if that's your goal to kind of live
that lifestyle of just working your job
and then and going out on the weekend
and living that kind of
like you know it it can be a great life
for a lot of people but I know for me
and I know for you probably watching
this that's not going to get you out of
bed in the morning that's not going to
be at the end of the day you're not
going to look back and be like you know
I really enjoyed my day and I've tried
to live that lifestyle and you probably
have two and it's it's not so you have
to go through this period where everyone
else around you isn't isn't doing the
things you want to do everyone doesn't
want to do what you want to do it's a
weekend today and you know I'd much
prefer to be spending it with a girl or
something or traveling to a nice city
over the weekend and doing something you
know going for coffee going for nice
food doing that type of thing whereas a
lot of people around my age would would
prefer to go for drinks go to the clubs
chase women doing a lot of other things
that would have no appeal in in my life
whatsoever and you probably can relate
to this CU I know there's a large large
group of young guys and young women even
that feel the same way that a lot of
people around them aren't doing the
things that they want to do anymore and
they kind of want to break free from
that but they they don't want to leave
their old friends and they don't really
have anyone else to go to but the only
option is for you to go through this
journey alone for the time being and
like I say there's that that uncertainty
and we don't like that uncertainty as
human beings we want to have everything
figured out we want to have an end goal
when when is this going to end when it's
like it's like I could push you under
water and and and give you say a 3
minutes you would hold your breath for 3
minutes if I push you under water and
just said hold your hold your breath for
as long as you can like that's a lot
worse and and you'd end up struggling
because there's that uncertainty that it
might never really end you just have to
know that you will come back out of the
water you will push your head back up
and and have a better life after that
and I think that's something that you
have to remember is that it will end and
you have to be on that journey and be
enjoying the journey every single day I
think to go through that uncertainty
because I get it it's not nice there
days where I myself think in terms back
and be like maybe I should just do those
other things and maybe they'll that that
that's good enough for me but I know
deep down there's a lot more that I want
and there's a lot more I can achieve so
it's unfair to myself to to to live this
lifestyle so how exactly could you
position yourself you might feel right
now that you are on the brink of a
better life you are on the brink of kind
of breaking through the ceiling so to
speak you've kind of hit a ceiling with
your current life that your current
environment the current people around
you and you're kind of like I know I'm
I'm there I'm like really pushing I'm
doing a lot of things that other people
aren't doing but I'm just kind of like
not seeing the kind of outputs in my
life that I would really expect with the
work I'm putting in and as I explained
previously there's always a lagging time
that will mean that you won't see the
results from the work you're putting in
till 3 months 6 months even a year later
down the line so for me in in my whole
journey the biggest thing has been
mindset and changing my mindset from a
very negative mindset thinking the worst
thinking how life was so unfair and that
I was just depressed and I should just
accept that I I actually had that
mindset you might think that's extreme
but I honestly thought I was depressed
and it wasn't my fault it it was
completely out of my control I always
thought like that but I completely
changed my mindset everything's in my
control and you have to change this
mindset to being a negative one to a
positive one I know it's not easy I'm
I'm not just saying you know you can do
this overnight it takes medit ation on
this to to truly figure out that person
you need to become for a better life and
changing that mindset and your beliefs
also are going to be the key Catalyst to
a better life you have to change this if
you're holding on to beliefs that have
been pushed on to you from your parents
from society from social media you've
been conditioned this way and most
likely we all have I've been there and
it's still taking me time to kind of
reprogram my own mind and hold on to
beliefs that actually better my life and
lot of us don't have that unfortunately
we hold on to the beliefs and a lot of
people we all kind of live the same life
our parents have lived and and we don't
really go on to achieve anything more
because we've been conditioned in a way
to believe a set script and we should
follow that and to go out of line is is
risky and we don't know what's there on
the other side but I've I've learned
through years of of being on
self-improvement from this journey that
there is more to life and I want to live
a certain type of Lifestyle I don't want
to be like a lot of people around here
that's why we get onto self-improvement
that's why you're watching watching this
video that's why I made this channel
that's why I find strength in in other
influencers that have achieved more from
the the kind of status quo lifestyle and
another thing that I would highly
recommend that you do is that you got to
put yourself out there you got to put
yourself out there with older people or
even people around you that maybe you
see them and then you're like you know
what he's actually doing really well I
would quite like to be on his level
whatever that may be maybe in terms of
his his his Fitness progress maybe in
terms of you know his career his his
finances or he's got like he might have
a really good relationship he might it
whether that be an intimate relationship
or he's got a really good set of circles
you always kind of see him like see him
around the gym you see him out and about
and he's having a laugh with his friends
and you're like you know what that guy
must have something that I don't so
maybe I should go spend some time with
him that's something that I I've kind of
learned you know just drop the ego and
be like this person can actually you
know offer me something in my life this
person can you know we are all selfish
creatures and you have to accept that
that is the case and you kind of have to
look at him and be like what can this
guy kind of teach me and what what what
can I gain from spending time with this
person cuz that's what we all do if we
if we didn't feel that way we wouldn't
spend time with anyone and whether
whether you think that's true whether
you want to admit that it is you
wouldn't want to spend time you wouldn't
choose to spend time with someone who
drains from your life who offs negative
into your life there must be something
there that you kind of feel like that so
I would highly recommend trying to find
people especially a bit older than you
who maybe the next step on from you you
can get this through coaching if you
can't find it in your personal life but
obviously I think if you can find those
people in your personal life that you
can spend one-on-one time with or even
in a group and kind of gain like real
world experience from then that would be
majorly beneficial to your life um and I
think you'll have a lot better
conversations because they going to be
on a different wavelength say if this
guy's 35 40 or or a woman or whoever it
may be they're going to have better
conversations it's not going to be all
about you know just getting drunk and
and having like kind of silly
conversations that you don't even want
to talk about you're going to feel a lot
better having those conversations and
you're going to learn so much that it's
going to be worth it to weit in gold and
over time you'll really start to
appreciate that that's something I've
learned from spending time with older
people or even people around my age who
are just just ahead of the game for
whatever reason that that there are
quite a few people that I've learned who
who I've met of obviously from my
journey they've seen what I've done I've
seen what they've done and naturally
we're going to be attracted to each
other because we're both on the same
journey and you can find those people
they are out there and it's going to
take time and you have to accept that
it's being persistent and it's being
patient which is the key thing that a
lot of people don't have in this in
certain journey and then you've just got
to cut and significantly reduce all
these activities and habits that you
used to do with your old friends that
aren't offering you any to the your life
whatever your goals may be I'm not I'm
not saying you have to have a a set way
of goals whether that be Fitness your
career your relationships everything in
that you want in life you have to be
clear to what you want and find
activities find habits that will
actually offer Ben be beneficial to that
and if they're not you know you you have
to cut those things out of your life
because they're not going to get you
that that person that your future self
you're not going to associate with those
activities and those bad habits that you
used to do anymore so you you need to
cut them out because people who who are
on that level already you see what I
mean they're not going to want to
associate with that and you've got to
prepare yourself like you've got to feel
and believe that you are worthy of being
that level you got to feel it inside of
yourself that's a big way of how Law of
Attraction all works you have to feel it
and believe that you are ready for that
level you're already at that level now
and hopefully that that that will truly
change your life and and get you through
this kind of lonely chapter that we all
go through and I know it's very
difficult so hopefully this video has
been off some value to you and if it has
I'd really appreciate your feedback
leave a like And subscribe to this
channel I know I know it's a very
difficult Journey for a lot of young men
it's become harder and harder as time's
gone on there's a lot of vices there's a
lot of distractions out there there's a
lot of very poor advice um so yeah try
and stay clear of all that I know I do
and I know I get dragged into it
sometimes but yeah if you can stay clear
of that and navigate it and hopefully
use some of this advice practically you
will have a better life and hopefully
you can get to that next stage wherever
that is for you and and you can live
that life that you've always desired
whatever that may be like I say that
that's down to you if you need any more
help especially on your mindset and your
beliefs which I know is the biggest
thing that I really struggled with when
I was younger that I really could have
done with when I was 18 19 years old my
one to one post personal coaching link
will be below and I'll see you in the
next video take care
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