Learning Via Your Style | DJ Cunningham | TEDxYouth@Toronto

Summary

The speaker addresses fear, emphasizing that people are most afraid of embarrassment, not failure or the unknown. Drawing from personal experience with learning disabilities and ADHD, the speaker shares how low self-esteem and learned helplessness shaped their early school years. However, through advocating for themselves and becoming more self-efficient, they developed resilience. The speaker highlights how different learning methods helped them overcome academic challenges and encourages others to embrace their unique strengths, turn weaknesses into advantages, and develop the skills necessary to build resilience and self-efficacy.

Takeaways

• 😨 Fear of embarrassment drives many actions more than fear of failure or the unknown.
• 😰 Embarrassment can lead to low self-esteem and avoidance behaviors, such as procrastination.
• 💡 Self-efficacy, the belief in one’s ability to succeed, leads to resilience and can combat fear and embarrassment.
• 🗣️ Advocating for yourself and understanding how you learn are key skills to build self-efficacy.
• ✍️ The speaker struggled with a learning disability and ADHD, which made tasks like reading and writing especially challenging.
• 🎓 Learning independence is crucial. The speaker shared how avoiding tasks, like writing, worsened self-esteem over time.
• 🎯 In high school, the speaker learned to advocate for himself, which led to better academic outcomes and greater self-confidence.
• 🎖️ Joining the military helped the speaker discover his strengths in different learning styles, particularly visual and kinesthetic learning.
• 📚 Understanding how you learn can help you adapt and find efficient ways to overcome challenges.
• 🛠️ Resilience is built by learning from mistakes and adapting strategies to overcome personal limitations, rather than letting those limitations hold you back.

Q & A

What is the speaker's main argument about what people are most afraid of?

The speaker argues that the thing people are most afraid of is being embarrassed, rather than fear of failure or the unknown. Embarrassment is what drives many of our actions and decisions.

How does the speaker describe the impact of embarrassment on self-esteem?

The speaker explains that fear of embarrassment can start to undermine self-esteem, causing people to avoid challenges and feel less confident in their abilities.

What are the two key skills the speaker suggests are needed to build resilience?

The two key skills are learning how to advocate for yourself and becoming more self-efficient. These skills help to increase self-efficacy and lead to greater resilience.

How did the speaker’s personal challenges with learning disabilities affect them in school?

The speaker struggled with low self-esteem due to learning disabilities, including ADHD, and experienced learned helplessness. They often relied on others for help, which made them feel embarrassed and less capable.

What specific incident in 4th grade does the speaker mention to illustrate their struggle with writing?

The speaker recalls an incident in 4th grade where they would procrastinate by staring at the teacher instead of writing, leading the teacher to eventually write down their ideas for them. This allowed the speaker to avoid the embarrassment of writing poorly.

How did learning to advocate for themselves in grade 9 help the speaker?

In grade 9, the speaker learned to advocate for themselves by communicating their struggles to their teacher. This helped them receive accommodations, such as practicing reading in advance, which improved their confidence and ability to manage their fears.

What is self-efficacy, according to the speaker, and how does it relate to resilience?

Self-efficacy is the belief in one’s ability to succeed in specific situations. The speaker argues that increasing self-efficacy helps individuals become more resilient by allowing them to face challenges without fear of embarrassment or failure.

What did the speaker learn about different learning styles during their time in the military?

The speaker discovered that they learn best through visual and kinesthetic methods. The military taught in multiple formats—visual, sequential, auditory, and kinesthetic—which helped the speaker realize how they learn most effectively.

What strategy did the speaker develop to overcome their difficulty with reading?

The speaker learned to outsource reading by converting text to audio. They would take pictures of the text and use apps to convert it into MP3 files, which allowed them to comprehend more effectively through auditory learning.

What final message does the speaker leave about dealing with personal challenges?

The speaker encourages listeners to not let their disabilities or challenges stop them. Instead, they should let these challenges enable them to achieve great things by developing resilience through self-advocacy and self-efficiency.