Put Yourself First, Not Last - How To Be Selfish So You Can Be Generous - Dan Lok

Dan Lok

21 Sept 201503:42

Summary

TLDRIn this motivational talk, Dan emphasizes the importance of 'strategic giving'—helping others in a way that benefits both parties. He explains that while it’s great to have a giving heart, it’s crucial to establish relationships that also positively impact your own business or life. Dan shares a personal story of helping Jay Conrad Levinson, father of Guerrilla Marketing, by writing a successful ad for him. This act of giving led to more business opportunities for Dan. He encourages focusing on building one or two key relationships rather than meeting as many people as possible.

Takeaways

🌍 You can't save the world if you can't save yourself first.
❤️ Many people love helping others but often don't get much in return.
🤝 The philosophy of helping others in hopes of good karma may not always work as expected.
🙌 Some people constantly help others but neglect their own needs and goals.
📝 Strategic giving is essential: focus on giving to people who can make a difference in your life or business.
💡 An example of strategic giving: offering help to someone influential, like Jay Conrad Levinson, without expecting immediate returns.
📈 By helping Jay, the speaker tripled his sales and built a valuable relationship, showing the power of targeted generosity.
🎯 You only need a few key relationships that truly matter for your business success, not a large quantity.
⚖️ The goal is to focus on quality over quantity in building relationships.
🗝️ Aim to walk away from networking with one or two key contacts who can significantly impact your business.

Q & A

What is the main lesson the speaker has learned?
-The speaker has learned that you can't save the world if you can't save yourself.
What issue do people who love helping others often face, according to the speaker?
-They often help others but end up not receiving much in return for their efforts.
What philosophy do some people follow when helping others?
-They believe that if you help enough people, good karma or something beneficial will come back to you.
What problem do 'nice entrepreneurs' often face according to the speaker?
-They help everyone around them but tend to neglect helping themselves.
What is the speaker's recommendation for overcoming this issue?
-The speaker recommends 'strategic giving,' which involves giving in a way that establishes meaningful relationships that positively impact one's business and life.
Can you provide an example of how the speaker used 'strategic giving' in their career?
-The speaker offered to write a better ad for Jay Conrad Levinson's Guerrilla Marketing Association without charging anything. This helped increase sales and built a strong relationship.
What was the outcome of the speaker's work for Jay Conrad Levinson?
-The ad tripled Jay’s sales, making him happy and willing to help the speaker by giving a testimonial and referring other business owners.
Did the speaker expect something in return for their help?
-No, the speaker wasn't expecting something in return, although it would have been nice. The focus was on the strategic nature of the giving.
What advice does the speaker give regarding building relationships at networking events?
-The speaker advises focusing on building one or two key relationships that will make a difference, rather than collecting many business cards.
What is the key takeaway regarding the quality of relationships?
-The speaker emphasizes that the quality of relationships is more important than the quantity, and that even just one or two strong connections can significantly impact your business.

Outlines

00:00

💡 The Importance of Self-Care in Helping Others

Dan begins by highlighting a crucial lesson: you can't save the world if you don't take care of yourself. Many people enjoy helping others, networking, and giving generously, but often feel unreciprocated. Dan asks the audience if they’ve experienced this and challenges the notion that good karma always brings returns. He mentions meeting many kind and generous entrepreneurs who help everyone but neglect themselves, urging a change in approach.

🎯 Introducing the Concept of Strategic Giving

Dan introduces the idea of 'strategic giving,' advising that giving should be done with the knowledge that it can positively impact one's business and life. He encourages the audience to take note of this key concept. Strategic giving means establishing relationships with people who can make a difference, instead of just giving to anyone without considering the potential benefits for personal growth or business advancement.

📝 Dan's Early Career as a Copywriter

Sharing a personal example, Dan recounts his early days as a copywriter, explaining that he wrote ads and marketing materials for clients despite not having much of a track record. He realized he needed to speed up his success by aligning with influential people who could help him build credibility faster. This led him to seek out opportunities for strategic giving.

📚 Collaborating with the Father of Guerrilla Marketing

Dan shares a story about how he approached Jay Conrad Levinson, the father of Guerrilla Marketing, to offer his copywriting skills. Dan offered to rewrite the ad for Jay’s Guerrilla Marketing Association for free, believing he could help improve sales. His gamble paid off when his copy tripled Jay’s membership sales, marking a turning point in Dan's career through this key strategic relationship.

🤝 Building a Mutually Beneficial Relationship

After successfully helping Jay increase sales, Dan explains how Jay wanted to return the favor. Dan asked for a testimonial and potential referrals, leveraging Jay’s massive network. This mutual benefit solidified a long-term relationship. Dan emphasizes that while he wasn't expecting anything in return, the strategic nature of his giving allowed him to establish a valuable connection that contributed significantly to his career.

📈 The Power of Quality Relationships Over Quantity

Dan closes by reinforcing that the goal isn't to collect as many contacts as possible, but rather to form one or two high-quality relationships that can genuinely impact one's business. He underscores that these key connections can be transformative, highlighting the importance of prioritizing quality over quantity when networking. This approach, he argues, leads to greater long-term success.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Strategic Giving

Strategic Giving refers to the concept of offering help or value to others in a way that also benefits oneself in the long term. In the video, Dan emphasizes that helping others without strategy can leave a person without much in return. He encourages the audience to focus on giving to individuals with whom building a relationship can positively impact their business or life. An example is when Dan helped Jay Conrad Levinson by improving his marketing campaign, knowing that this could establish a beneficial relationship.

💡Self-Preservation

Self-Preservation is the idea that before helping others, one must ensure their own well-being and success. Dan illustrates that many people try to help everyone else without taking care of themselves, which is unsustainable. The message is that you cannot 'save the world' if you don't first ensure your own success and stability.

💡Networking

Networking is the act of building relationships with others, often in a professional context, to create mutually beneficial opportunities. In the video, Dan talks about the importance of networking strategically, focusing on quality over quantity. Instead of collecting as many business cards as possible, he advises forming one or two key relationships that can make a significant difference in your business.

💡Guerrilla Marketing

Guerrilla Marketing is a low-cost, unconventional marketing strategy that relies on creativity and surprise to promote a product or service. Dan refers to Jay Conrad Levinson, the father of Guerrilla Marketing, as someone he approached to offer his copywriting services. This example highlights how Dan's strategic giving was applied to a well-known figure in marketing, leveraging his talents to improve Jay's sales.

💡Reciprocity

Reciprocity is the principle of mutual exchange, where the act of giving leads to receiving in return. Dan illustrates this by offering his copywriting services to Jay Conrad Levinson without expecting immediate compensation. However, through this act of strategic giving, Dan received testimonials and client referrals, which helped boost his business.

💡Business Relationships

Business Relationships are connections with other professionals that can lead to opportunities and growth. The video emphasizes the importance of forming meaningful and strategic relationships that provide long-term value. Dan highlights that one or two strong business relationships are more valuable than numerous superficial connections.

💡Testimonial

A Testimonial is an endorsement or statement from a satisfied client or customer that can be used to build credibility. Dan received a testimonial from Jay Conrad Levinson after helping him with his marketing campaign. This testimonial played a crucial role in building Dan's credibility as a copywriter and led to further business opportunities.

💡Value Exchange

Value Exchange refers to the mutual benefit gained when two parties engage in a transaction or relationship. In the video, Dan explains how offering free services to someone influential in exchange for a future opportunity or referral is an example of a strategic value exchange. This approach helped him grow his business by providing value first and gaining benefits later.

💡Track Record

A Track Record is a proven history of success or performance in a particular field. Dan mentions that when he started as a copywriter, he lacked a strong track record and needed to build one. By offering his services to Jay, he was able to demonstrate his abilities and establish a record of success, which eventually helped him secure more clients.

💡Quality over Quantity

Quality over Quantity is the idea that focusing on fewer, but more meaningful, connections or actions can be more impactful than trying to reach a large number of people. Dan stresses this concept throughout the video, encouraging the audience to prioritize meaningful relationships over collecting numerous superficial contacts. This principle applies both to networking and strategic giving.

Highlights

You can't save the world if you can't save yourself.

Many people love helping others but don't receive much in return.

Helping others doesn't always lead to personal benefit, even if good karma is expected.

Some of the nicest people, always helping others, forget to help themselves.

The concept of 'strategic giving' involves giving to someone with the knowledge that it will also benefit your life or business.

Example: As a young copywriter, Dan offered to improve a membership ad for Jay Conrad Levinson without charging anything.

By improving Jay's sales letter, Dan helped triple the membership sales for Guerrilla Marketing Association.

Afterward, Dan asked Jay for a testimonial and referrals, which helped build his career.

Strategic giving does not guarantee a return, but it positions you to possibly receive something valuable in the future.

You only need to build relationships with a few key people who can make a difference in your business.

The focus should be on quality, not quantity, of relationships.

Instead of gathering many business cards, aim for one or two key connections that matter.

Dan's strategic giving to Jay opened doors for him to work with other business owners.

He emphasizes that it's possible Jay may not have given anything in return, but the giving was still strategic.

Building just one or two impactful relationships can be far more valuable than trying to help everyone.