A video game that helps us understand loneliness | Cornelia Geppert

TED
6 Jan 202012:43

Summary

TLDRThe speaker, an artist, shares their personal journey with loneliness, which led to the creation of the video game 'Sea of Solitude.' The game, a metaphor for the artist's emotional struggles, allows players to navigate through various manifestations of loneliness, such as social exclusion and mental health issues. It emphasizes the importance of understanding and balancing emotions rather than seeking constant happiness. The game's release resonated with many, inspiring hope and prompting some to seek therapy, showcasing the power of art in connecting and helping people cope with their inner struggles.

Takeaways

  • ๐ŸŽจ The speaker uses art as a medium to process and express their emotions, particularly loneliness.
  • ๐Ÿค Deep emotional connections are essential to combat loneliness, even when surrounded by people.
  • ๐Ÿ™๏ธ The speaker's move to a new city for work led to a neglect of personal relationships, highlighting the balance needed between work and personal life.
  • ๐Ÿ˜” The struggle with emotional expression and the tendency to hide real feelings behind a facade of happiness is a common issue.
  • ๐Ÿ”„ The turning point in the speaker's life was an emotionally abusive relationship, which paradoxically made them confront their loneliness.
  • ๐ŸŽฎ The video game 'Sea of Solitude' is a creative expression of the speaker's journey through loneliness, using interactive storytelling.
  • ๐ŸŒŠ In the game, the protagonist's emotions manifest as a physical world, with weather and environment reflecting her mental state.
  • ๐Ÿงณ The backpack symbolizes the emotional baggage we carry, which can grow overwhelming if not managed.
  • ๐Ÿฆ Loneliness can manifest in various forms, such as social exclusion, unhealthy relationships, and mental health issues, all represented in the game.
  • ๐Ÿบ The game portrays the struggle with depression and the importance of addressing one's own well-being before helping others.
  • ๐ŸŒˆ The message of the game is not to eliminate negative emotions but to embrace all emotions and strive for balance.

Q & A

  • What is the main theme of the artist's speech?

    -The main theme of the artist's speech is the exploration of loneliness and the power of art in expressing and overcoming emotional struggles.

  • How does the artist describe their experience of loneliness?

    -The artist describes loneliness as a feeling of being a monster among humans who know how to function, feeling isolated despite being surrounded by people, and experiencing a deep sense of disconnection.

  • What role does art play in the artist's life?

    -Art plays a significant role in the artist's life as a medium to process and share their emotional world, creating connections with others through the expression of feelings.

  • Why did the artist move to another city?

    -The artist moved to another city for their first job as a comic artist, which led to a focus on work life at the expense of nurturing personal relationships.

  • How did the artist's approach to handling emotions contribute to their loneliness?

    -The artist's tendency to camouflage their real feelings by appearing always happy and trying to fix others' problems contributed to their loneliness by avoiding dealing with their own issues.

  • What was the turning point in the artist's life that made them confront their loneliness?

    -The turning point was falling into an emotionally abusive relationship, which isolated the artist and led them to feel loneliness for the first time, prompting a wake-up call.

  • What is the name of the video game created by the artist, and what is its main premise?

    -The name of the video game is 'Sea of Solitude.' The game's main premise revolves around a character named Kay, who turns into a monster due to her overwhelming loneliness, and the player navigates through her emotional struggles.

  • How does the game 'Sea of Solitude' represent the character Kay's emotional state?

    -In 'Sea of Solitude,' Kay's emotional state is represented by the game's environment, which is flooded by her tears, and the weather changes according to her mood.

  • What is the significance of the backpack that Kay wears in the game?

    -The backpack that Kay wears symbolizes the emotional baggage that everyone carries throughout life, and it grows larger as she struggles with her emotions.

  • How does the game portray different manifestations of loneliness?

    -The game portrays different manifestations of loneliness through various characters, such as social exclusion experienced by Kay's brother, loneliness in relationships depicted through her parents' conflict, and mental health issues shown through Kay's boyfriend.

  • What is the key message the artist wants to convey through the game 'Sea of Solitude'?

    -The key message is to embrace all emotions, not just happiness, and to find balance, accepting that it's okay to not be okay sometimes.

  • How did the release of the game impact the artist and the audience?

    -The release of the game led to thousands of fans sharing their stories, feeling less alone, and some even seeking therapy, which made the artist feel grateful for the positive impact of their art.

Outlines

00:00

๐ŸŽจ Artistic Expression of Loneliness

The speaker, an artist, shares their personal experience with loneliness, which they describe as a feeling of isolation even when surrounded by people. They explain that true loneliness comes from a lack of deep emotional connections. The speaker's childhood was marked by constant happiness, but as a young adult, they moved to a new city for work, focusing so much on their career that they neglected their social life. They struggled with expressing their true feelings, often hiding behind a facade of happiness. This struggle became a turning point when they entered an emotionally abusive relationship, which left them feeling isolated and prompted them to use their art to process and share their feelings of loneliness.

05:00

๐ŸŒŠ 'Sea of Solitude': A Video Game to Conquer Loneliness

The speaker discusses the creation of a video game titled 'Sea of Solitude,' which is a metaphorical representation of their journey to overcome loneliness. In the game, players embody Kay, a character whose feelings of anger, hopelessness, and worthlessness transform her into a monster. The game's world is a reflection of Kay's emotional state, with a flooded landscape and changing weather mirroring her moods. The player must navigate through various manifestations of loneliness, such as social exclusion, troubled relationships, and mental health issues, each represented by different characters and scenarios. The game encourages players to confront and understand their emotions, rather than suppress them, with the ultimate goal of achieving emotional balance and self-acceptance.

10:04

๐ŸŒˆ Embracing Emotions for a Healthier Life

The speaker concludes by emphasizing the importance of embracing all emotions, not just happiness, to achieve a balanced life. They share how the realization of this concept changed their approach to life, leading to a more open expression of emotions and a focus on personal relationships. The release of 'Sea of Solitude' resonated with thousands of fans who shared their stories of loneliness and hope, with some even seeking therapy as a result of the game's impact. The speaker acknowledges that while the game is not a therapeutic tool, it has been a powerful medium for sharing personal stories and connecting with others. They encourage everyone to understand and balance their emotions, recognizing that the full spectrum of human emotions and struggles is what makes us who we are.

Mindmap

Keywords

๐Ÿ’กLoneliness

Loneliness is the feeling of sadness or emptiness that comes from a lack of companionship or social interaction. In the video, the speaker describes their personal experiences with loneliness, highlighting how it can be felt even when physically surrounded by others. The video uses the metaphor of 'Sea of Solitude' to represent the emotional landscape of loneliness, where the main character, Kay, becomes a monster as a manifestation of her inner feelings of isolation.

๐Ÿ’กEmotional Connection

Emotional connection refers to the deep bond formed when individuals share and understand each other's feelings. The video emphasizes that while one can be in a crowd, a lack of emotional connections can lead to feelings of loneliness. The speaker discusses how sharing feelings through art can create such connections, which is a central theme in their journey to overcome loneliness.

๐Ÿ’กCamouflage

Camouflage, in the context of the video, means hiding one's true feelings or emotions. The speaker mentions that they struggled with showing their real emotions by always appearing happy, which is a form of emotional camouflage. This behavior can prevent genuine connections and exacerbate feelings of loneliness, as it prevents others from understanding one's true emotional state.

๐Ÿ’กEmotional Abuse

Emotional abuse is a type of psychological manipulation that involves the infliction of emotional pain or distress. The speaker recounts an emotionally abusive relationship that left them feeling isolated and alone, marking a turning point in their life. This experience is a key part of the narrative that led them to create the game 'Sea of Solitude' as a means of expressing and processing their emotions.

๐Ÿ’กInteractive Story

An interactive story is a form of media where the audience can participate in the narrative, making choices that affect the outcome. The video describes the creation of 'Sea of Solitude' as an interactive story within a video game, allowing players to experience and empathize with the character's journey through loneliness.

๐Ÿ’กBackpack as Baggage

In the video, the character Kay wears a backpack that symbolizes the emotional baggage that people carry throughout their lives. As Kay struggles with her emotions, her backpack grows larger, representing the increasing weight of her unresolved feelings. This metaphor is used to illustrate the burden of unaddressed emotional issues.

๐Ÿ’กSelf-Doubt

Self-doubt is the feeling of uncertainty or lack of confidence in oneself. In the game, Self-Doubt is personified as a large creature that hinders Kay's progress, constantly telling her she is worthless. The video uses this character to represent the internalized negative beliefs that can contribute to feelings of loneliness and the importance of overcoming them.

๐Ÿ’กSelf-Destruction

Self-destruction refers to behaviors or thoughts that are harmful to one's own well-being. In the video game, Self-Destruction is depicted as the main antagonist, a monster that tries to drown Kay in her own tears. This concept is used to explore the destructive tendencies that can arise from unmanaged emotional turmoil.

๐Ÿ’กJoy and Obsession

Joy is portrayed as a positive emotion, but the video also discusses how it can turn into obsession, which becomes harmful. For instance, Kay's obsession with her boyfriend is shown to be a form of joy that is not healthy, as it distracts from her own well-being. The video suggests that true happiness should be independent and not reliant on external factors.

๐Ÿ’กEmotional Balance

Emotional balance refers to the ability to accept and manage a wide range of emotions without being overwhelmed by them. The video concludes with the message that it's not just about chasing happiness, but about embracing all emotions and finding a balance. This is a key takeaway from the speaker's journey and the narrative of 'Sea of Solitude'.

Highlights

The artist describes the feeling of loneliness and the desire to connect with others.

Loneliness can be felt even on a Friday night when one lacks the energy to socialize.

Feeling like a monster among humans who know how to function is a metaphor for the speaker's loneliness.

Art is used as a medium to process emotions and create deep connections.

Loneliness stems from a lack of deeper emotional connections, not just physical presence.

The speaker's childhood was characterized by happiness and social connections.

Moving to a new city for work led to a focus on career at the expense of personal relationships.

Nourishing friendships as an adult requires consistent effort and openness.

The speaker struggled with expressing real feelings and tended to appear always happy.

An emotionally abusive relationship was a turning point that made the speaker confront loneliness.

The speaker created an interactive story, a video game, to help people cope with loneliness.

In the game 'Sea of Solitude', the protagonist Kay turns into a monster due to loneliness.

The game's world reflects Kay's emotional state, with weather and environment changing accordingly.

Kay's backpack symbolizes the emotional baggage we all carry throughout life.

The game presents different manifestations of loneliness, including social exclusion and mental health issues.

Overcoming loneliness involves standing up and moving forward, even when faced with hardships.

The game's message is to embrace all emotions and find balance, rather than just chasing happiness.

The speaker's personal realization led to a more open approach to emotions and a focus on personal relationships.

The game received thousands of messages from fans who felt less alone and hopeful after playing.

The speaker emphasizes that understanding and balancing emotions is key to overcoming loneliness.

Transcripts

play00:13

Have you ever felt lonely?

play00:16

The urge of wanting to connect with people,

play00:19

but you seem to have no one you really would want to contact?

play00:23

Or, it's a Friday night and you want to be with others,

play00:26

but you have no energy to go out, so instead you sit at home all evening,

play00:32

watch Netflix

play00:33

and feel more alone than ever?

play00:36

You feel like a monster

play00:38

between humans that know how to function.

play00:42

This is what loneliness felt like to me.

play00:47

So I'm an artist,

play00:49

and I process my emotional world by sharing my feelings through my art.

play00:54

If you share your feelings with someone,

play00:57

and they understand and share those feelings too,

play01:01

you create an emotional and deep connection.

play01:05

This is why you can be surrounded by hundreds of people,

play01:09

jump from one candidate to the next,

play01:12

but still feel lonely.

play01:14

It's because these deeper connections haven't been made.

play01:21

I was an always-happy child.

play01:24

I think we nearly have no single photo of me

play01:26

where I don't smile broadly or laugh or joke around.

play01:29

And this went on until ...

play01:32

well, it's still the case.

play01:34

But I had many friend groups

play01:38

up until, as a young adult, I moved to another city

play01:42

for my first job as a comic artist.

play01:45

And like so many young, thriving people all over the planet,

play01:50

I concentrated all my energy into my work life.

play01:55

But, if you spend, like, 90 percent of your daily capacity

play02:01

trying to succeed at work,

play02:03

of course there is nothing left

play02:05

to take care of all the other important aspects in your life,

play02:08

like your human relationships.

play02:11

Nourishing friendships as an adult is work.

play02:17

You need to be consistent with connecting.

play02:21

You need to be open, you need to be honest.

play02:23

And this is all I struggled with,

play02:25

because I tend to camouflage my real feelings

play02:28

by trying to appear always happy

play02:31

and trying to make everyone else happy, too,

play02:33

by trying to fix their problems.

play02:36

And I know a lot of us are guilty of this,

play02:40

because it's an easy way to not think about your own issues.

play02:44

Isn't it?

play02:45

Hmm? Hmm? Hmm?

play02:46

(Laughter)

play02:49

OK.

play02:51

The turning point came

play02:54

when I fell into an emotionally abusive relationship

play02:59

just a few years ago.

play03:01

He isolated me

play03:03

and left me feeling more alone than ever.

play03:08

It was the lowest point in my life,

play03:10

but it was also my wake-up call,

play03:13

because it was the first time

play03:15

that I really felt loneliness.

play03:20

Many artists put their feelings into their art.

play03:23

There are endless books, movies, paintings, music,

play03:28

all filled with the real emotion of an artist.

play03:31

So, as an artist myself, I did the same.

play03:33

I shared my feelings.

play03:37

I wanted to help people cope with loneliness.

play03:41

I wanted, yeah, to make them understand it,

play03:44

to really experience it through my art

play03:48

in the form of an interactive story,

play03:51

a video game.

play03:54

So, in our game --

play03:57

we called it "Sea of Solitude" --

play04:00

you are a person named Kay,

play04:02

who is suffering from such strong loneliness

play04:06

that her inner feelings --

play04:08

the anger,

play04:09

the feeling of hopelessness, worthlessness --

play04:13

turn to the outside,

play04:15

and she becomes a monster.

play04:17

The game -- well, Kay --

play04:20

is actually a representation of me

play04:23

and the path I went through to overcome my struggles.

play04:28

The game plays, actually, in Kay's mind,

play04:30

so you walk through a world that is flooded by her tears,

play04:35

and the weather is changing by her mood,

play04:39

how her mood is changing.

play04:42

And, well, the only thing Kay wears,

play04:47

the only thing,

play04:49

is her backpack.

play04:52

It's the baggage we all carry throughout our life.

play04:56

And Kay doesn't know how to cope with her emotions in the right way,

play05:00

so her backpack becomes bigger and bigger

play05:03

until it bursts,

play05:04

and she finally is forced to overcome her own struggles.

play05:10

In our story, we present many different manifestations of loneliness.

play05:16

Loneliness through social exclusion is very common.

play05:21

In our game, the brother of Kay got bullied in his school,

play05:24

and he just wants to hide and fly away.

play05:27

And we portray him as a huge bird monster surrounded by thick fog.

play05:33

The player has to actually walk through his school

play05:35

and experience, really feel the harm,

play05:39

that the brother had been through,

play05:42

because for a long time, nobody really listens to him.

play05:46

But the very moment friends and family start to listen,

play05:51

the first step towards overcoming this form of loneliness had been made.

play05:56

We also show loneliness in relationships,

play06:00

like when parents just stay together for the sake of their kids

play06:05

but end up hurting the entire family.

play06:09

We put the player literally in between the two parents while they are fighting,

play06:15

and you get hurt in the middle.

play06:17

They don't even see that their daughter, Kay, is right there

play06:22

until she breaks down.

play06:24

We also show loneliness through mental health issues,

play06:30

with the boyfriend of Kay, who suffers from depression

play06:34

and shows that sometimes

play06:36

it is most important to focus on your own well-being first.

play06:43

The boyfriend also tends to camouflage his feelings,

play06:47

so he appears like a lone, shiny white wolf.

play06:51

But the moment he starts to interact with his girlfriend, Kay,

play06:55

the mask falls off,

play06:57

and we see the black dog beneath it:

play07:00

depression.

play07:03

Sometimes we put on a smile

play07:06

instead of dealing with the issues at hand,

play07:10

and that can ultimately make it worse,

play07:13

affect the people around us

play07:15

and damage our relationships.

play07:19

So Kay herself

play07:20

we portray as ripped apart into her basic emotions.

play07:26

Some help you,

play07:27

some are trying to stop you.

play07:30

Self-Doubt is a huge creature,

play07:34

always telling Kay how worthless she is

play07:37

and that she should just give up.

play07:40

Like in real life,

play07:42

Self-Doubt is blocking the path,

play07:44

and it seems impossible to overcome it.

play07:48

Destroying the omnipresence of Self-Doubt is a slow process.

play07:52

But in the game, you can slowly, like, shrink her,

play07:56

so she turns from self-doubt

play07:58

to actually healthy doubt,

play08:00

and you can finally trust her advice.

play08:04

We also show Self-Destruction.

play08:07

It's a huge monster

play08:09

always lurking nearby under the water's surface.

play08:13

Self-Destruction is actually the main antagonist of the game,

play08:16

and she is always trying to drown you in the ocean of tears.

play08:21

But, when she actually drowns you,

play08:23

you wake up just a few moments [before],

play08:25

and you have a chance to progress again.

play08:29

We wanted to show

play08:31

that we all go through hardships in our life, we all do.

play08:35

But if you at least, like, stand up and try to move forward,

play08:41

you are very likely to make it through your struggle,

play08:46

step by step.

play08:49

Joy is something that Kay cannot really embrace or touch.

play08:55

It's always something in the distance.

play08:58

We portrayed Joy as a child version of Kay,

play09:01

with a yellow raincoat,

play09:02

so she is invulnerable to the ocean of tears.

play09:05

But Joy can also turn into obsession

play09:09

and start to be actually harmful for Kay,

play09:11

like when she starts obsessing over her boyfriend.

play09:14

Joy will not turn back to normal until Kay realizes

play09:20

that her happiness should not depend on anybody else

play09:25

but herself.

play09:29

So our monsters appear huge and scary,

play09:32

but if you overcome your reluctance and approach them,

play09:36

you soon see that they are no monsters at all,

play09:40

but just fragile beings that are simply overwhelmed by what life throws at them.

play09:48

All of those emotions,

play09:51

be it self-doubt or even self-destruction,

play09:54

don't completely vanish in our game.

play09:58

The key message is to not only chase for joy or happiness

play10:04

but to embrace all your emotions

play10:07

and bring them into balance,

play10:11

being OK with sometimes not being OK.

play10:17

Everyone has their own loneliness story to tell.

play10:21

This realization changed everything for me.

play10:25

Being much more open with my emotions

play10:28

and concentrating much more on my private life,

play10:31

my friends, my family.

play10:35

When we released the game,

play10:36

literally thousands of fans wrote us,

play10:39

all sharing their stories with us

play10:42

and telling us they felt not so alone anymore

play10:47

just because they played our game.

play10:50

Many people wrote us that they felt hope

play10:53

for a better future for themselves for the first time in decades.

play10:57

Many wrote us that they seek therapy now,

play11:01

just because they played our game

play11:06

and felt hopeful to overcome their own struggles.

play11:11

Our game is not a therapy.

play11:12

It's not meant to be a therapy.

play11:14

It's just my friends and me sharing our stories

play11:17

through our art, video games.

play11:19

But we are so deeply thankful for every single message

play11:24

that people feel better,

play11:26

just because we shared our story with them.

play11:31

So ...

play11:32

I didn't completely overcome my urge to help others.

play11:39

But I don't want to overcome it anymore.

play11:42

I love it.

play11:44

I just needed to bring it to a healthy size,

play11:48

so it doesn't stand in the way of deeper relationships anymore,

play11:51

but even help me to connect with people.

play11:56

So, if you have an inner monster

play11:59

that is born out of negative emotions,

play12:03

it is not only the goal to kill that monster

play12:06

but to understand that we humans are complex beings.

play12:11

Look at what part of your life is so big that others fall short.

play12:18

Look at what emotions you barely feel

play12:22

or maybe feel too much

play12:23

and move towards lowering those peaks.

play12:27

Most of all, it's about understanding

play12:29

that all the wide range of emotions and struggles

play12:33

makes us what we are:

play12:35

humans.

play12:38

Thank you.

play12:39

(Applause)

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Related Tags
LonelinessEmotional JourneyArtistic ExpressionVideo GameMental HealthSelf-DiscoveryHuman ConnectionInteractive StoryEmotional AbuseSelf-Help