The Very Real Damage That Social Media Does to Kids

Summary

In this video, the speaker reflects on the unique behaviors of their eight-year-old twins, who exhibit traditional childhood traits like playing outdoors, reading, and using their imagination. They contrast this with many of their peers who are more engaged with digital devices. The speaker emphasizes the importance of a childhood free from screens, as they believe it fosters creativity and physical activity. They criticize the impact of social media, particularly on young girls, citing research that shows it can lead to anxiety, depression, and body image issues. The speaker calls out parents who provide smartphones to young children, arguing that the disadvantages outweigh any perceived benefits, and concludes by urging parents to reconsider their decisions regarding screen time for their children.

Takeaways

• 👨‍👧‍👦 The speaker's eight-year-old twins exhibit traditional childhood behaviors like playing imaginative games and reading classic books, which the speaker finds increasingly rare among their peers.
• 📚 The children's love for literature and outdoor play is contrasted with a perceived decline in such activities among other kids their age.
• 🏡 The family has built a raft and engaged in creative play, inspired by classic literature, showing a hands-on and imaginative approach to childhood activities.
• 👧 The daughter's interest in dolls, costumes, and crafts, including sewing a dress from a blanket, highlights the value placed on traditional play and creativity.
• 📱 The speaker notes a societal shift where many children are spending more time in digital worlds rather than engaging in physical or imaginative play.
• 🚫 The speaker's children do not play video games, use phones, or access the internet, a conscious parenting decision to foster a 'real' childhood.
• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 The parents have made a deliberate choice to limit screen time and have set boundaries on technology use to promote an authentic and active childhood.
• 📊 Research is cited to support the observation that excessive screen time can lead to negative mental health outcomes in children, such as anxiety, depression, and lower life satisfaction.
• 🔍 The speaker criticizes Facebook (and by extension, Instagram) for internal research that indicates social media is harmful to children, particularly girls, and for not acting on these findings.
• 🚭 The speaker draws a parallel between big tech's handling of harmful effects and big tobacco's cover-up of smoking dangers, suggesting a moral failure in not protecting children.
• 📱 The speaker argues against giving young children smartphones with internet access, suggesting that parents who do so are contributing to potential harm and then blaming social media companies for the consequences.
• 📈 The speaker challenges parents to weigh the supposed benefits of internet access for young children against the potential harms, suggesting that the negatives significantly outweigh any positives.
• 🏆 The speaker concludes by urging parents to reconsider their decisions about technology use for their children and to take responsibility for the impact on their children's development.

Q & A

What is the main concern expressed by the speaker about their children's behavior?

The speaker is concerned about the increasing number of children who are not engaging in physical and imaginative play due to their immersion in digital worlds.

How does the speaker describe their twins' behavior compared to their peers?

The speaker describes their twins as being naive, innocent, energetic, and engaged in imaginative play, which they find increasingly unique among their peers.

What activities does the speaker mention their children enjoy doing?

The speaker's children enjoy playing imaginative games, reading books, running around outside, and engaging in creative activities like building a raft and sewing dresses.

What societal factor is identified as the main reason for the change in children's behavior?

The main societal factor identified is that many children today are living out their childhoods inside a digital world, particularly through video games and internet use.

Why does the speaker believe their children are different from some of their peers?

The speaker believes their children are different because they do not play video games, have phones, or use the internet, which contrasts with many of their peers.

What decision did the speaker and their spouse make regarding their children's access to screens?

The speaker and their spouse decided to limit their children's access to screens, allowing them only limited and supervised time on a single family-owned TV.

What recent report did the speaker read that influenced their thoughts on social media and children?

The speaker read a report revealing that Facebook, which owns Instagram, has been aware that Instagram is harmful to kids, particularly girls.

What are the negative effects of social media on children mentioned in the script?

The negative effects mentioned include causing anxiety, depression, body image issues, lower life satisfaction, and making kids lonelier and more depressed.

Why does the speaker believe parents should not give young children smartphones with internet access?

The speaker believes that young children do not benefit from having constant internet access and that it exposes them to potential harm without any genuine advantages.

What alternative does the speaker suggest for parents who want their children to have a phone for emergencies?

The speaker suggests that parents can provide their children with a basic phone that only makes calls and can be programmed to call only a few specific numbers.

What is the speaker's final message regarding parents and children's use of social media?

The speaker's final message is that parents who allow their children to use social media are the ones who should be held accountable, not the social media companies themselves.

Outlines

00:00

🌳 The Uniqueness of an Unplugged Childhood

The speaker reflects on the distinctive behavior of their eight-year-old twins compared to their peers, who seem to be more engaged in digital activities. The children are described as energetic, imaginative, and fond of outdoor play and reading books like 'Huck Finn' and 'Tom Sawyer.' The family has intentionally chosen to keep their children away from video games, smartphones, and the internet to foster a more authentic and active childhood. The speaker expresses concern about the societal shift towards digital entertainment for children and cites research indicating the negative impacts of social media on children's mental health and well-being. The speaker criticizes Facebook for being aware of the harmful effects of Instagram on children yet continuing to promote its use.

05:01

📵 The Consequences of Early Internet Exposure

The speaker addresses the issue of parents providing young children with smartphones and unfettered internet access. They argue that it is not necessary and can be detrimental to a child's development. The speaker suggests that parents should consider the advantages and disadvantages of such access and questions the benefits, asserting that there are none. They propose that parents should not blame social media companies for the negative effects on their children but should instead take responsibility for their choices in allowing their children to use these platforms. The speaker concludes by urging parents to reconsider their decisions and to prioritize a healthy, screen-free childhood for their kids.

Keywords

💡naive

In the context of the video, 'naive' refers to the innocence and lack of sophistication that children naturally possess. The speaker notes that their eight-year-old twins are naive, which is a positive trait in their view, as it signifies a more authentic childhood experience. The contrast is made with children who are more mature or world-weary due to their engagement with digital media.

💡innocent

'Innocent' is used to describe the purity and lack of guilt or corruption in the children's behavior and thoughts. The speaker values this quality in their children, suggesting that it is becoming less common among their peers who are more exposed to digital influences.

💡energetic

The term 'energetic' is used to describe the lively and active nature of the speaker's children. It is tied to the video's theme of physical play and outdoor activities, which are seen as healthier and more beneficial for children compared to sedentary screen time.

💡imaginative games

Imaginative games are a key part of the video's narrative, emphasizing the creativity and mental stimulation that comes from children playing without digital aids. The speaker's children enjoy such games, which is positioned as a positive alternative to digital gaming.

💡digital world

The 'digital world' is portrayed as a place where many children spend their formative years, often to their detriment. The video argues that this digital engagement is replacing more traditional, physical forms of play and leading to negative outcomes.

💡screen time

Screen time refers to the amount of time children spend looking at screens, such as TVs, computers, and smartphones. The video suggests that excessive screen time is harmful and that the speaker's children are an exception because they are not allowed such exposure.

💡social media

Social media is highlighted as a particular concern because of its potential to cause anxiety, depression, and other negative effects in children. The video discusses how companies like Facebook are aware of these harms but have not adequately addressed them.

💡anxiety

Anxiety is mentioned as one of the negative outcomes associated with social media use in children. The video suggests that the constant comparison and pressure to conform on social media platforms can lead to increased anxiety levels in young users.

💡depression

Depression is another consequence of excessive screen time and social media use discussed in the video. The speaker argues that the lack of authentic human interaction and the pressures of social media can lead to depressive symptoms in children.

💡authentic human life

The concept of an 'authentic human life' is used to contrast the artificial experiences provided by screens and social media. The speaker believes that children need to learn how to live authentic lives, disconnected from digital influences, to develop into well-rounded individuals.

💡regret

Regret is a theme in the video where the speaker suggests that parents who allow their children unrestricted access to screens and social media will eventually regret this decision. It is used to urge parents to consider the long-term effects of their choices on their children's well-being.

Highlights

Children acting like their age is becoming unique due to digital distractions.

Eight-year-olds should be naive, innocent, energetic, and imaginative.

Kids today are not playing or reading as much due to digital influences.

The family built a raft to emulate the adventure of Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer.

Parents are embracing gender stereotypes in their children's play.

Many kids are living their childhoods inside a digital world.

The decision to keep kids away from video games and the internet is intentional.

Facebook's own research shows Instagram is harmful to kids, especially girls.

Social media causes anxiety, depression, and other negative effects in children.

Facebook's cover-up of Instagram's harm is compared to big tobacco's actions.

Parents are ultimately responsible for their children's overexposure to screens.

Giving young children smartphones with internet access is a harmful decision.

Parents should consider the advantages and disadvantages of internet access for young kids.

There are no genuine advantages to elementary schoolers having smartphones.

Parents who allow their kids unrestricted internet access will likely regret it.

The call to action for parents to reconsider their children's screen time.

Transcripts

[Music]

so you know my oldest kids the twins are

eight years old and uh more and more i'm

noticing something about them that seems

increasingly unique among their peers

but shouldn't be

and that is that my eight-year-olds

act like eight-year-olds they are naive

and innocent and energetic they like to

play imaginative games they like to run

around outside they love books

my son especially loves huck finn and

tom sawyer and you know he loves those

characters he'll run around the yard in

overalls and bare feet pretending that

he's on some great adventure

a little while ago all the kids built a

raft out of logs so that they could

float down the mississippi river even

though we don't live anywhere near the

mississippi river but still they wanted

to build the raft um

my daughter plays with dolls still she

likes to dress up in costumes she likes

to sew and make different kinds of

crafts she she uh last week she made

herself a dress out of an old blanket

um actually might have been a new

blanket that my wife just bought and she

cut it up and made it into a dress but

that was fine

now none of this information is

terribly fascinating or special i mean

they're just kids being kids right

very gender stereotypical kids too which

i know makes me an extremely

unenlightened parent and i'm fine with

that

but i've noticed that a lot of kids

their age

not all certainly but a lot

aren't like this

many kids these days at eight to nine

years old

don't have

the same kind of energy or creative

drive or the desire to run around

outside all day

this isn't just my own anecdotal

observation either lots of research has

shown that many kids today aren't

playing the way we did when we were kids

they aren't running around outside

they're not reading books they're not

playing physical or imaginative games

and there are many societal factors

which may help explain this shift but

the biggest one

without question

is that many kids today are living out

their childhoods inside a digital world

the single greatest factor that explains

why my kids seem a bit different from

some of their peers is that my kids

don't play video games

they don't have phones

they don't use the internet

we're not living off the grid in the

forest either though i kind of wish we

were i mean nothing nothing wrong with

living that way we're living a pretty

normal life for better or worse except

that our kids don't have video games and

they don't use the internet

there are plenty of parenting decisions

that i have made that i later questioned

or second guess but this is definitely

not one of them

my wife and i decided early on that we

would force our kids to have a real

childhood we're not going to give them a

choice in the matter

you can't give a kid a choice in this

because if you give them a choice

they're going to choose the tv and the

internet and everything else i mean

every kid's going to choose that if you

let them choose

so for us there is no choice

a childhood full of imagination and

physical play and scrape knees and all

the rest of it that's what they're going

to have and so far they've had that kind

of childhood because we're keeping them

away from every screen except the one

single tv we own which is in our living

room and which they're allowed to watch

for limited periods of time

and and of course only shows that we

approve of ahead of time i thought about

this today when i read a report

revealing how facebook which owns

instagram

has for a long time been aware that

instagram is harmful to kids especially

girls

the tech giant apparently conducted its

own research into the effects of social

media on the developing minds of kids

and they found that the effects are

rather dire social media the focus was

on instagram but this holds true across

the spectrum

social media for kids causes anxiety

depression body image issues

lower life satisfaction and so on and so

on and so on

makes kids lonelier

them more depressed it makes them

unhappier

now facebook knows this and and this is

the research they did

again that's not the only research on

this topic

this this has been studied

again and again again and again and

almost all the research you'll read will

tell you this

and facebook knows it but they swept its

own findings their own findings under

the rug which has drawn comparisons to

the big tobacco companies that

discovered a link between smoking and

cancer decades ago and didn't tell

anybody about it and i think the

comparison is apt though if anything it

undersells the problem

this is going to sound extreme and maybe

it is but i would rather my kids smoke

cigarettes

than spend all day on the internet

because the damage done by the latter is

that deep and that profound

our kids are being fundamentally changed

they're being turned into different

sorts of people worse sorts of people

because of their overexposure to screens

they're not learning how to be authentic

people or how to live an authentic human

life

many kids today simply do not know how

to find joy or happiness or fulfillment

outside of the screen

though they can't really find it inside

the screen either so they just don't

have it at all

and that's why

when i hear about what facebook has done

to cover up the damage its own product

does to the people who use it

i don't blame facebook primarily

i mean they obviously deserve 100 of the

blame for the things that they're doing

but there's another 100 portion

that can be assigned to parents

look i understand that at a certain age

it might be difficult to keep your kids

away from the internet

it's it's different when a kid is 16 or

17.

but parents today are giving their six

seven eight-year-olds phones with

internet access

that's what parents are deciding to do

and they can't use the excuse of well i

want my kid to have a phone in case he

needs me in case of an emergency

even that is pretty extreme

like the idea that your kid needs to

have this constant connection with you

all of the time

no kids in history had that i didn't

have that when i was a kid

i didn't have a phone where i could call

my parents at the drop of a drop of a

dime

and and you know i survived it was okay

but if you do want that for your kid

you could you can buy them a phone that

doesn't do anything but make a phone

call

and you can make it so that it only can

call two numbers you know

your house phone and your and your cell

phone if you actually still have a house

phone or whatever i mean you can decide

so you can give your kid a phone like

that that's one thing

but there are parents who say you know

what no no i'm gonna give my kid

my eight-year-old

a phone with full and complete internet

access

and i'm gonna let them have it all the

time

it it's it

just

blows my mind

do you know how you can keep your

seven-year-old off the phone here's how

you do it real easy

don't give him one

it really is that easy

for a seven-year-old for a 17 year old

it's different for a seven-year-old

that's all you got to do

because they can't have anything if you

don't buy it for them

how does your child your young child

benefit from having the internet in his

pocket 24 hours a day what are the

advantages

i mean make a chart and list them

list all of the advantages to your seven

or eight-year-old having 24-hour access

to the internet

you know in what ways has his life in

existence enhanced by spending almost

all of it online

and go ahead and write all those

all those advantages down

now go to the other side

list the negatives

in what ways can he be harmed what are

the downsides

and then when you look back at the chart

which column has more bullet points

and it must be the negative column

because i can't actually think of one

single genuine advantage to an

elementary schooler having a smartphone

and yet millions of parents make this

choice for their children

and they and then they blame the social

media companies

for the harm that they the parents have

intentionally exposed their children to

maybe think of it this way

imagine a parent

who keeps their kid away from the

screens doesn't give him a phone doesn't

let him spend five hours a day playing

video games and so on now imagine that

parent sitting at the child's high

school graduation

do you think that he sitting there in

the stands

is going to look back on his son's

childhood

reflecting nostalgic and say man

i wish i'd let him spend more time

staring at screens

do you think any parent who makes that

choice will have that regret

we all know the answer

and we all also know that many parents

will regret and already have regretted

allowing the internet and the media

and video games and everything else to

consume their children shape them mutate

them dominate their lives

and that is why today it is not social

media that i'm canceling it's not

facebook

but parents

who allow their kids to use social media

in the first place they're the ones who

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