The Battle Against Patriarchy | Rida Tharana | TEDxPESUSalon
Summary
TLDRIn this TED Talk, a 24-year-old woman from a small town explores the concept of freedom for women. She challenges societal expectations and gender norms, discussing the pressures of marriage, the importance of financial independence, and the struggle for equal opportunities. Through personal anecdotes and societal observations, she advocates for women's empowerment, the right to make choices, and the need to break free from patriarchal constraints.
Takeaways
- π€ The speaker emphasizes the importance of discussing women's freedom and equality, challenging societal norms and expectations.
- π The speaker reflects on her upbringing in a small town and how global issues like conservation and gender inequality have personally impacted her.
- πΊ The speaker discusses the societal pressures and expectations placed on women, highlighting the lack of freedom in various aspects of their lives.
- πΌ The speaker shares her personal journey of financial independence and how it has empowered her to make her own choices.
- π‘ The speaker talks about the traditional expectations of women in marriage and how education is often seen as a means to improve marriage prospects rather than personal growth.
- π¨βπ©βπ§βπ¦ The speaker describes the double standards and additional responsibilities women face in balancing work and family life.
- πͺ The speaker advocates for women to support each other and break free from the constraints of patriarchy.
- π The speaker addresses the beauty standards imposed on women and the negative impact of these standards on self-esteem and self-worth.
- π€ The speaker highlights the importance of women making their own decisions,δΈεε€ηε½±εοΌincluding choices about marriage, career, and personal expression.
- π The speaker concludes by celebrating the strength and resilience of women who stand up for themselves and work towards achieving true equality.
Q & A
What was the speaker's main topic of discussion in her second TED Talk?
-The speaker's main topic was about the freedom and independence of women, exploring how societal expectations and norms often limit women's freedom.
Why did the speaker feel compelled to discuss the topic of women's freedom?
-The speaker felt compelled to discuss women's freedom because she wanted to address the societal pressures and expectations that constantly remind women of their perceived limitations.
What was the speaker's perspective on the role of marriage in women's lives?
-The speaker viewed marriage as an institution that often comes with societal expectations that can limit women's freedom, as it is sometimes seen as the ultimate goal for women rather than a personal choice.
How does the speaker describe the societal expectations placed on women regarding their education and career?
-The speaker describes societal expectations as often reducing women's education and career achievements to mere details on a marriage invitation, implying that their success is secondary to their marital status.
What challenges does the speaker face in proving her capabilities to her family and society?
-The speaker faces challenges like proving that she can manage her own life, pay off loans, and succeed in her career without needing to rely on a man or conform to traditional gender roles.
Why is financial independence important to the speaker?
-Financial independence is important to the speaker because it represents freedom and the ability to take care of herself without needing to depend on others, which is a significant aspect of women's empowerment.
What is the speaker's view on the role of women in the corporate world?
-The speaker views the corporate world as a space where women still face competition and are sometimes held back by patriarchal attitudes, but she also sees a shift towards women supporting each other.
How does the speaker feel about the beauty standards imposed on women?
-The speaker feels that beauty standards are limiting and harmful, as they create insecurities and force women to compare themselves to unrealistic ideals, which can be emotionally draining.
What does the speaker suggest as a way for women to break free from societal constraints?
-The speaker suggests that women should seek financial independence, make their own choices, and support each other as a community to break free from societal constraints.
What message does the speaker want to convey about women's capabilities and self-worth?
-The speaker wants to convey that women are capable of achieving a lot on their own and should not seek validation from others. She emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and self-reliance for women's empowerment.
Outlines
πΊ Societal Expectations and Women's Freedom
The speaker begins her TED Talk by expressing her interest in discussing a topic that is innovative and different, focusing on the incorporation of women's issues. She questions whether women are truly free, drawing from her experiences growing up in a small town. The societal norms and expectations that dictate how a woman should behave are highlighted as constraints on her freedom. The speaker discusses the pressure to conform to traditional gender roles, such as marriage and domestic duties, and how these expectations are ingrained from a young age. She shares her personal journey, including the societal and familial pressures she faced, and how these experiences have shaped her views on women's freedom and independence.
πΌ Financial Independence and Women's Empowerment
In this paragraph, the speaker delves into the concept of financial independence as a key aspect of women's freedom. She contrasts the societal expectations of women with her own experiences, emphasizing the importance of making one's own decisions. The speaker shares her achievements, such as buying a car for her father, as a testament to her capabilities and a way to challenge traditional gender norms. She discusses the stereotypes and biases women face in the workplace and the struggle for equal pay and opportunities. The narrative also touches on the internalized patriarchy that can be perpetuated by women themselves, and the importance of breaking free from these limiting beliefs to achieve true empowerment.
πͺ Breaking Free from Beauty Standards and Insecurities
The final paragraph addresses the issue of beauty standards and how they impact women's self-perception and self-worth. The speaker recounts her own struggles with body image and societal expectations of beauty, which led to feelings of inadequacy and a constant comparison with others. She emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and the realization that one's worth is not determined by physical appearance. The speaker calls for a collective effort among women to challenge and change these harmful standards, advocating for a shift towards a more inclusive and diverse definition of beauty. She concludes by encouraging women to recognize their strength and capabilities, and to stand up for themselves and their desires without the need for validation from others.
Mindmap
Keywords
π‘Freedom
π‘Patriarchy
π‘Financial Independence
π‘Gender Roles
π‘Beauty Standards
π‘Inequality
π‘Marriage
π‘Self-Reliance
π‘Societal Expectations
π‘Empowerment
π‘Education
Highlights
The speaker discusses the topic of gender equality and the societal expectations placed on women.
The speaker questions whether women are truly free in a society that constantly reminds them of their gender roles.
The ideology of how a woman should behave and the expectations placed on them are highlighted as constraints on women's freedom.
The speaker shares personal experiences growing up in a small town with traditional views on women's roles.
The pressure on women to marry and the societal norms associated with it are discussed.
The speaker challenges the notion that a woman's education is primarily for her marriage prospects.
The double burden of work and home responsibilities faced by women is described.
The importance of financial independence for women is emphasized.
The speaker talks about the realization of her own capabilities and the freedom that comes with financial independence.
The challenges of proving oneself in a male-dominated society are shared.
The speaker reflects on the changes in women's roles and the support women are now giving each other.
The impact of societal beauty standards on women's self-esteem and identity is discussed.
The speaker shares her journey of self-acceptance and breaking free from societal expectations of beauty.
The idea that women need validation from men to feel complete is critiqued.
The speaker calls for a collective effort from women to stand up for their rights and freedoms.
The empowerment of women to take care of themselves and not rely on others for their well-being is emphasized.
The speaker concludes with a message of hope and the potential for a future of gender equality.
Transcripts
and this is me giving my second Ted Talk
and I thought the only time I would take
up is if I find a very different and uh
Innovative let's call it something all
of the subject kind of a topic so when
they reach out to me also the topic was
the thing I was interested in
and it's
like
incorporate women with it but how how
can we not incorporate women with it are
we really free
from a very small town I'm 24 year old
and what obviously read every
Independence Day there's one post that
comes up stating that conservations are
free
as global warming there's inequality
there's that there's this so that's
that's one question out there so I'm
gonna uh take it entirely to my gender
as a woman
as a woman am I really free and I'm
going to start saying that no I'm not
and every walk of my life every step I
take the society reminds me of it the
ideology of how a woman should be
reminds me of it and the expectation
constantly remind me that hey you are
actually not free we are bound to
certain things in a way that we just
cannot get out of always struggling or
we're talking about it at this point
Beauty gods and I'm the older one and
while growing up Jenna was never
something that we were spoken of but one
of the things I was constantly talked
about regularly to my parents was you
have three goals what are you gonna do
with them
as of though like if you're three goals
you probably need to you know sign up
something or figure life
but that's how it was constantly put up
your three girls you have to figure out
marriage for them little girls when
marriage was something there was
constantly spoken of
because if you if you are getting
married to somebody you need to give
them something as a gift even they even
though they might not ask for this and
this is something that I kept growing
nonsense right constantly knowing the
fact that as a woman my parents have to
gather something or constantly need to
answer the society because because ours
supposed to be at the end of the day uh
for someone I always keep telling them
right women are with you with with their
buildings as girls we depend on our
parents we thought about marriage we
prepared for it you're sent to a good
engineering college to get that degree
and then it's put up in your marriage
marriage invitations
is an engineer who's
well
but here knows how hard it has been for
him to study she'll be a very
understanding
and that's exactly what's
the best and best of women who've got
them the best of best of education is
just for their marriage invitation to
state that this is why she's doing this
eventually you need to end up getting
married all the let's say education that
you've learned eventually goes on goes
on how to cook how to clean and how do I
use my uh knowledge on the same and if
you by any chance stand out to be
somebody who say I am privileged enough
because my family or my husband allows
let me concentrate on this word
specifically allows me to work then
you're probably waking up early in the
morning at six o'clock doing everything
at home cooking breakfast for yourself
and for your husband packing is
different sending him off going to your
work working for a nine hours shift
coming back again cooking for yourself
to the husband going back to bed which
is for like I think five hours of sleep
and you wake up again we did ask for
this we did tell that hey we won't eat
quality we did get it but in a way that
we're just exhausting ourselves your
parents are saving up for you to give
the best education while our parents are
saving up
to get me married off to someone with a
lot of gold
one of the things that women lack is
financial Independence freedom
right when it comes to money with all
that we're talking yes we have women who
are working I have a sister working I am
working a lot of them are working but a
very truly free
once you start making money
limited I started making money I
realized that hey this
that are not a lot of people want women
to have
[Music]
can actually take care of myself I do
not need anybody and if one day anybody
decides to abandon me I can still rely
on myself without having to think should
I go back to my parents should I find a
man to take care of me or anything else
then later on when I started doing
things I didn't realize my
responsibilities I'm living by myself I
need to take care of things I need to do
all of that I realize that there's a
difference between me
[Music]
making money
yes
is different for different people for me
it has always been freedom of choice I
want a woman to be able to make
decisions of herself for her to choose
what she wants to wear uh what she wants
to share freedom of opinion Freedom of
Choice decide whom she wants to marry
when she wants to marry what's the
course she would like to take
right as I said coming back to
[Music]
make money
I got my father his first car a second
car or this jam and I got it because
again I wanted to get it for him the
relationship between my parents have
always been proving them that I am
capable of doing it came to Bangalore I
had to constantly prove that I'm not
gonna run away with the boy because
you're at the end attached to a man
right what will you do today you
another guy and run away with him that
did not happen then they thought I'd not
be able to pay off the loan they
know that I took I paid that office
right that did not happen then they
thought should not be able to make it
like how much can you really do you can
you study then you work for some time
and then you're tired that did not
happen either when I got in that car
that was the first time I was able to
able to sit
in the middle of all the men around me
okay
not a single woman apart from myself
it's my father or my uncle my aunt my
mama was my Tattoo's and they're they're
Sons as well who are like very young
they're literally you've lost 10 or 11th
but you do understand that they're there
because of the agenda and nothing is but
I sat there one of the things that
constantly hit me is I am cure
because I was able to get something as
big as a car
or as I would have to wait
until they were done eating
for me to walk in and take it and the
more I walk in
let's consider your earning 35
and you're like working to get the
highest package you have the same
as a man but you're not getting paid for
the same thing you also have competition
right while you're growing up you
realize that okay I'm doing this with
your lifetime
what's more to it do it you don't have
so much
once you take up a vacation
you're done with the money that you have
that's when you realize that you don't
have
making decisions
you don't really
sure your followers know is not
bothering you up and asking that hey I
just wanted to have your opinion on this
particular decision or can you make this
decision for us it's never been
your say but it has always been a sea of
a man you know my son in any ways
eventually take up the land so I have to
ask him this opinion
so when you make anything to that matter
you are great accordingly as much as I
would like to say do things for yourself
it's hard because we constantly are
proving to society that we are worthy of
what we can do and we want to be put out
there we want to be called or we want to
be known for us and not for our gender
like Instagram is one of the platforms I
use to talk about this on a regular
basis and I realized that
women great
patriarchy is one of the things that
still exists it persists in a different
way some of them are right up front on
your face like no you cannot do this
some of them come off like hey you're
during leaves you can't dress like this
your manner married women girls don't
dress like this you're old enough
old enough and when things like these
keep happening is when you realize that
even in this generation
patriarchy still exists for me it was
taught to me by my mother
she was the first one to instill that
hey
in terms of Education until the class
time that's more than enough it's enough
for you to teach your kids I never knew
I'd be able to stand up here on a stage
and address this to a cloud at all if I
were to believe her then that hey
class 10th is more than enough but yes
patriarchy is usually instilled by our
women because that's how they are raised
as well they're conditioned into
believing that this is how we should be
let's consider another woman sitting out
there with my other entirely different
mind that you have to agree with
whatever I say I'm not I'm not saying
that at all but they also have the
superiority complex where they feel that
I'm entitled I am good while she is not
following what a woman has to follow or
what a woman is expected of and it's sad
because they will actually pull other
women down that that be in the corporate
spaces not corporate spaces this
competition right and that's one of the
things I feel is changing right we're
coming together as a community where
women are supporting women
freedom freedom from insecurities stop
body starts let's talk about the whole
Beauty standard that's lined up you
should be a certain way it should be a
certain client a skinny girl with a
petite body straight hair fair skin is
much more admissible and admirable than
anybody out there and it stuck to us
while growing up I hope it's not the
same thing I'm not big fan of my skin
color I'm not very happy with how I look
I've been constantly comparing myself to
other people stating that only if
I was like them or I was like oh
I would have been driven men would find
me dripping I would have been accepted
into society and if
I don't know there's no one like me but
it takes so much from you right you have
so much trauma for your childhood that
it takes so much of your teenage years
so much of your adulthood to just figure
out that I am a complete person all by
myself without having to look like
without having to sound sound like
someone or without having to be like
someone
constantly fight battle with
the over again that hey
please accept me even though I do not
sit on the on the whole radar
but the whole idea
of that wanting right
from time to time from another gender
feeling that only if I get validation
from this person probably I am
probably I can't well or probably I can
exist and once you break out of that
shell is when you know that here I am a
I'm a human being all by myself I always
constantly think will we ever reach a
space they will have two equality we'll
never reach them because we'll
constantly have a set of people staying
there and no let's go back to the old
age
us as women are collectively coming
together
asking for Freedom right standing up for
ourselves knowing that this is what we
want we're taking like
them and that's okay we as Community
right now most women that I know and I'm
happy about because that's whenever I
surround with and I want to be like
know that
don't need a man
it's not a necessity
I will not die if I don't have one or
perish if I don't have one or feel like
that's the end of my life I want a man
if there is a man in my life it's
because I want him to be there and
tomorrow if I decide that I do not want
him I can actually walk away but women
once they learn
how to actually take care of themselves
without needing anybody they are
emotional beings not denying it we have
attachment towards a family towards
people that we dearly love we care and
we want to protect them but once we know
that I am the one who will be taking
care of myself when I fall back I am the
one who hold
and I am the one who stand up for me no
matter what
and that's exactly
[Music]
which you're actually capable of a lot
of things all by yourself
but you're afraid because once you do
that
yeah
[Music]
see
[Applause]
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