How to Write SYNTHESIS BODY PARAGRAPHS

Garden of English
5 Feb 202120:42

Summary

TLDRIn this instructional video, Tim Freitas from the Garden of English delves into the art of crafting body paragraphs for synthesis essays, specifically focusing on how commercializing fear and horror can influence individual responses to the unknown. Tim emphasizes the importance of structuring body paragraphs with clear topic sentences that include a concession, reference to examples, and an argument. He provides a detailed breakdown of how to synthesize information from multiple sources, integrate textual evidence, and craft commentary that strengthens the argument. The video is packed with practical tips and a comprehensive example that illustrates the synthesis process effectively.

Takeaways

  • 📝 Importance of body paragraphs in essay writing, particularly for the AP exam synthesis section.
  • 🎯 Thesis statement should guide the construction of body paragraphs, with a focus on both supporting and challenging ideas.
  • 🔍 Topic sentences should include transitional language, reference to the example, and the writer's argument.
  • ✍️ Effective commentary within body paragraphs should explain how evidence supports or challenges the topic sentence's argument.
  • 🔗 Synthesize information from multiple sources to create a cohesive argument, ensuring that the writer's voice is integrated.
  • 📈 Use of strong verbs and cause-and-effect language enhances the clarity and persuasiveness of the commentary.
  • 👥 Discussing the social benefits of consuming horror media, such as bonding and shared experiences, can enrich the individual's understanding.
  • 🧠 Addressing potential negative psychological effects while arguing the positive aspects of horror entertainment consumption.
  • 📚 Incorporate textual evidence and expert opinions to strengthen the argument and provide a scholarly foundation.
  • 🎬 Analyzing the content of horror films and their resolutions can provide insights into human nature and societal values.
  • 📌 Proper citation of sources is crucial, even within the body of the paragraph, to maintain academic integrity.

Q & A

  • What is the main topic of the video?

    -The main topic of the video is about writing body paragraphs for synthesis essays, specifically focusing on how commercializing fear and horror can influence individuals' responses to the unknown and the macabre.

  • What is the thesis statement provided in the script?

    -The thesis statement is that although horror-based entertainment might have negative effects on psychological health, it can be beneficial for individuals as it provides a safe way to understand life's mysterious elements and learn more about themselves.

  • What are the three key components of a body paragraph according to the script?

    -The three key components of a body paragraph are a topic sentence with transitional language, textual evidence or example, and commentary that connects the evidence to the argument and thesis.

  • How does the speaker suggest using counterarguments in body paragraphs?

    -The speaker suggests that counterarguments can be used in body paragraphs to acknowledge opposing viewpoints, but they should be introduced with transitional language like 'although' or 'even though' to maintain a clear line of reasoning.

  • What is the importance of synthesis in writing?

    -Synthesis is important in writing as it allows the writer to effectively combine and integrate ideas from multiple sources to support their argument, creating a cohesive and well-reasoned paragraph.

  • What are some tips for creating strong commentary in body paragraphs?

    -Strong commentary can be achieved by using cause and effect language, articulating assumptions and stereotypes, focusing on strong and precise verbs, and incorporating quotes or ideas from sources in a synthetic way.

  • Why is it important to cite sources in academic writing?

    -Citing sources is important to give credit to the original authors, avoid plagiarism, and provide evidence to support the claims made in the writing, thus enhancing the credibility and reliability of the argument.

  • What is the role of the topic sentence in a body paragraph?

    -The topic sentence sets the direction of the paragraph, introduces the main idea or argument, and often includes a reference to the source material. It should have transitional language to connect with the rest of the essay.

  • How does the speaker approach the synthesis prompt?

    -The speaker approaches the synthesis prompt by taking a perspective that challenges their personal views, arguing for the benefits of commercialized fear and horror, and providing evidence from multiple sources to support this argument.

  • What are the benefits of watching horror films in an appropriate setting according to the speaker?

    -According to the speaker, watching horror films in an appropriate setting, such as with friends, can be enriching as it provides a supportive social experience, allows individuals to face fictional dilemmas together, and helps them understand and cope with real-life fears.

  • How does the speaker suggest structuring the body paragraphs in a synthesis essay?

    -The speaker suggests structuring the body paragraphs by starting with a topic sentence that includes a concession if necessary, followed by textual evidence from sources, and then commentary that connects the evidence to the argument and thesis. The speaker also recommends using cause and effect language and strong verbs for effective commentary.

Outlines

00:00

📚 Introduction to Synthesis Paragraphs and Course Content

The video begins with Tim Freitas, the host, introducing the topic of synthesis paragraphs, specifically focusing on body paragraphs. He encourages viewers to like and subscribe to the Garden of English for comprehensive coverage of AP exam elements in essay writing. Tim discusses a synthesis prompt about fear and horror, and explains that the video will cover the mechanics of body paragraphing, providing basic structures and tips. He also mentions that he has written a thesis in response to the prompt, which argues that commercialized fear and horror can be beneficial as it provides a safe way for individuals to understand the unknown and themselves.

05:01

📝 Crafting Effective Topic Sentences and Body Paragraphs

In this paragraph, Tim delves into the specifics of crafting effective topic sentences for body paragraphs. He emphasizes the importance of starting with a transitional word, referencing the example, and stating the argument. Tim uses his own thesis as a guide to create a topic sentence that acknowledges potential negative psychological effects of horror entertainment but argues that it can be enriching when consumed in appropriate settings. He advises against including source material in the topic sentence unless it serves as a counterargument and stresses the importance of a clear, logical structure in paragraph writing.

10:02

🧠 Discussing the Psychological and Social Benefits of Horror Entertainment

Tim continues the discussion by providing evidence from studies that suggest horror entertainment can be enriching when viewed in social settings. He explains how watching horror films with others can create a supportive social adventure and a rush of adrenaline, which can be beneficial for individuals. Tim also introduces the idea that viewing horror films with friends can increase feelings of relative safety and help people cope with potentially traumatic content. He uses strong verbs and cause-and-effect language to maintain a clear line of reasoning throughout the paragraph.

15:03

🎥 Analyzing the Impact of Horror Films on Emotional Bonds and Justice Perception

Tim concludes the body paragraph by introducing additional research from Jeffrey Goldstein, a professor who studies violent entertainment. He discusses the benefits of horror films, including their ability to provide resolutions to storylines, reminding viewers of the difference between truth and fiction, and promoting the positive ideal that justice is possible. Tim argues that these films can help viewers cope with real-life 'monsters' and emerge from theaters with stronger emotional bonds, renewed hopes for a just world, and a greater understanding of life's uncertainties.

20:03

🚀 Final Thoughts and Future Video Content

In the final paragraph, Tim wraps up the video by encouraging viewers to like and subscribe for more content. He mentions that the Garden of English is active on social media platforms and that there are affiliate links available for additional support in AP learning and teaching. Tim also promotes a textbook that he co-authored and acknowledges the support of viewers. He teases an upcoming video about common mistakes in synthesis and expresses gratitude for the opportunity to help viewers, especially during challenging times.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Synthesis Paragraph

A synthesis paragraph is a type of writing that combines ideas from multiple sources to support a thesis statement. In the context of the video, it is used to develop a position on how commercializing fear and horror influences individual responses to the unknown and macabre. The video provides a detailed structure for crafting such paragraphs, emphasizing the importance of a clear thesis, topic sentences, and textual evidence from various sources.

💡Body Paragraphing

Body paragraphing refers to the structure and content of the paragraphs that follow the introduction in an essay. These paragraphs provide support for the thesis statement by including evidence, analysis, and commentary. In the video, the speaker explains how to effectively write body paragraphs for a synthesis essay, focusing on the mechanics and tips for incorporating sources and developing a clear argument.

💡AP Exam

The AP Exam, or Advanced Placement Exam, is a set of standardized tests in the United States, often taken by high school students to earn college credit or advanced standing. The video script mentions the AP Exam as the context for discussing essay writing and synthesis paragraphs, indicating that the strategies and tips provided are particularly relevant for students preparing for these exams.

💡Thesis Statement

A thesis statement is a sentence that expresses the main idea or argument of an essay. It serves as a guide for the reader and the writer, outlining the central point that the essay will support. In the video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of the thesis in guiding the body paragraphs, ensuring that each paragraph aligns with and supports the overall argument.

💡Topic Sentence

A topic sentence is the first sentence of a body paragraph that introduces the main idea or argument that the paragraph will develop. It should include transitional language, a reference to the example or source material, and the writer's argument. In the video, the speaker provides a detailed explanation of how to craft effective topic sentences for synthesis paragraphs, using the word 'although' to start a topic sentence as an example of conceding a counterargument.

💡Textual Evidence

Textual evidence refers to the specific information, quotes, or data extracted from source materials that support the arguments made in an essay. It is used to back up claims and provide credibility to the writer's analysis. In the video, the speaker explains how to incorporate textual evidence from studies into the synthesis paragraph to strengthen the argument about the benefits of commercialized fear and horror.

💡Commentary

Commentary in the context of essay writing refers to the writer's analysis and interpretation of the textual evidence. It is where the writer explains how the evidence supports their argument and connects it to the thesis. The video emphasizes the importance of strong commentary that includes cause and effect language and articulate assumptions to create a clear line of reasoning.

💡Counterargument

A counterargument is a statement that acknowledges an opposing viewpoint or potential criticism of the writer's argument. It is used to show that the writer has considered multiple perspectives and to strengthen the credibility of their own argument. In the video, the speaker uses a counterargument in the thesis and topic sentence to concede that horror-based entertainment could lead to negative psychological effects before presenting the main argument.

💡Horror Entertainment

Horror entertainment refers to media content, such as films, books, or games, that is designed to evoke feelings of fear, suspense, or terror. The video discusses the commercialization of horror and how it can influence individuals' responses to fear and the unknown. The speaker argues that while horror entertainment can have negative psychological effects, it can also provide safe ways for individuals to understand and explore these feelings.

💡Psychological Health

Psychological health refers to an individual's mental and emotional well-being. It encompasses how effectively a person can cope with life's challenges, maintain positive relationships, and achieve a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment. In the video, the speaker discusses how horror-based entertainment can potentially have negative effects on psychological health, but also how it can be beneficial when consumed in appropriate settings.

💡Appropriate Settings

Appropriate settings refer to the suitable environments or contexts in which a particular activity or form of entertainment is consumed. In the video, the speaker argues that consuming horror entertainment in appropriate settings can lead to enriching experiences for individuals, such as social bonding and a better understanding of oneself.

Highlights

The discussion focuses on body paragraphing for synthesis, particularly in the context of the AP English exam.

The speaker, Tim Freitas, encourages viewers to subscribe for more content on essay writing and AP exam preparation.

The synthesis prompt explores the influence of commercializing fear and horror on individuals' responses to the unknown and macabre.

Freitas challenges himself to argue from a perspective contrary to his personal views, emphasizing the importance of objectivity in synthesis writing.

The thesis statement argues that commercialized fear, through horror entertainment, can be beneficial for individuals by providing safe ways to understand life's mysteries and themselves.

The speaker provides a structure for body paragraphs, emphasizing the importance of topic sentences with transitional language, references to examples, and arguments.

Freitas discusses the use of concession in topic sentences to acknowledge counterarguments while still supporting the thesis.

He emphasizes the importance of synthesis, where the writer's words and source material are seamlessly integrated.

The speaker provides a template for commentary within body paragraphs, highlighting the use of strong verbs and cause-and-effect language.

The example used discusses how watching horror movies in a social setting can be enriching due to the shared experience and adrenaline rush.

Freitas explains that the appropriate setting of consuming horror entertainment can increase feelings of relative safety and promote bonding.

He introduces the idea that horror movies can serve as 'covert rehearsals' for dealing with real-life fears and challenges.

The speaker concludes that watching horror movies can lead to stronger emotional bonds, renewed hope, and a greater understanding of life's uncertainties.

Freitas provides tips on using strong verbs and avoiding weak ones like 'says' or 'states' for more impactful writing.

He emphasizes the importance of cause-and-effect language in creating a clear line of reasoning in synthesis writing.

The speaker encourages the use of assumptions and stereotypes in commentary to connect evidence to claims effectively.

Freitas concludes by highlighting the value of synthesis in integrating quotes and ideas from various sources into a cohesive argument.

Transcripts

play00:00

this is the guard of english i'm tim

play00:01

freitas and today we're going to go over

play00:03

body paragraphing for synthesis so

play00:04

you're going to want to check it out

play00:17

okay what you're going to want to do now

play00:19

that you're here is you're going to want

play00:20

to just click like and subscribe and the

play00:21

reason why is because at the garden of

play00:23

english we have covered

play00:24

all of the elements of the ap exam in

play00:26

terms of essay writing

play00:27

and you're going to want to check those

play00:28

out and we're going to continue to give

play00:30

out little pointers and whatnot

play00:31

as the exam approaches and you don't

play00:34

want to miss any of those so

play00:36

it also helps us out anyway we are here

play00:38

today to talk about

play00:39

our synthesis paragraph and we are

play00:42

continuing to

play00:43

actually discuss a synthesis prompt that

play00:45

i wrote about fear and horror

play00:47

and if you have not seen any of the

play00:49

videos about that you're going to want

play00:50

to check up

play00:51

here for those videos and you're going

play00:53

to want to watch them in order because

play00:54

it's going to help you understand where

play00:56

we are at

play00:56

today we are talking about body

play00:58

paragraphing

play01:00

okay um so what we're going to do is

play01:02

we're going to go over just the

play01:03

mechanics of body paragraphing i'll give

play01:05

you basic structures and some some tips

play01:07

and whatnot

play01:08

so we might as well just get right into

play01:09

things by the way

play01:11

you can actually find links to the

play01:13

prompt that i'm using right down below

play01:15

um in the description down below uh

play01:17

you'll also find some affiliate links

play01:19

down there to some other cool things

play01:20

that i that i support

play01:21

um that will that can and will help you

play01:24

study for your ap

play01:25

exams or prepare your classes for their

play01:27

ap exams okay

play01:28

but anyway so we have our synthesis

play01:30

prompt and our synthesis prompt says

play01:32

something along the lines of develop a

play01:33

position

play01:33

on how commercializing fear and horror

play01:36

um

play01:37

influence how individuals respond to the

play01:39

unknown and the macabre so that's kind

play01:40

of our prompt here and like i said you

play01:42

can find that in the description down

play01:43

below

play01:44

and then we have our sources and we've

play01:46

already gone through all of those things

play01:47

and now we have to actually produce body

play01:49

paragraphs now what i decided to do

play01:51

today is if you've

play01:52

been watching any of my videos you know

play01:54

that i don't like horror films

play01:56

and of course it would make way more

play01:57

sense for me to write an argument that

play01:59

says hey

play01:59

this idea of commercializing fear horror

play02:01

fear and horror is

play02:02

terrible for an individual psyche and it

play02:06

leads to bad behavior and whatnot

play02:07

and because that's what i would be

play02:09

expected to do i decided to write from a

play02:11

different perspective

play02:12

uh and the reason why is because we have

play02:15

to be able to do that we have to be able

play02:16

to say okay

play02:17

can we argue for the other side

play02:19

objectively and i decided that i wanted

play02:20

to try to do that so what i've done here

play02:22

is i've actually

play02:24

written a thesis in response to this

play02:26

prompt how does commercializing fear and

play02:27

horror get individuals to respond to the

play02:29

unknown and the macabre

play02:31

and here's my thesis and now we're going

play02:33

to talk about how the thesis will guide

play02:34

our body paragraphs and i'll show you

play02:35

what a body paragraph should do

play02:37

so the thesis says since it's documented

play02:39

that horror-based entertainment

play02:41

potentially has negative effects on

play02:43

psychological health

play02:44

it may seem like such media should be

play02:46

disregarded

play02:48

however commercialized fear is

play02:49

beneficial to individuals because such

play02:52

entertainment provides them with a safe

play02:53

way sorry with safe ways to understand

play02:56

not only the mysterious elements of life

play02:58

but also a little more about themselves

play03:01

and so notice that i'm actually arguing

play03:02

that hey

play03:03

maybe there are decent outcomes from

play03:04

this idea of commercializing

play03:06

fear and horror with harvard-based

play03:08

entertainment

play03:10

so now what's going to happen is this i

play03:12

have to follow my

play03:13

thesis here and my thesis is going to

play03:15

suggest upfront

play03:16

if i'm writing this paragraph in full i

play03:18

do have to concede that there does seem

play03:20

to be some negative outcomes

play03:22

that um psychologically that such media

play03:25

does kind of push

play03:27

so i'm not telling you that

play03:30

this is my first body paragraph i'm just

play03:32

saying this is a body paragraph

play03:33

somewhere in my paper you will notice

play03:35

though that my topic sentence starts

play03:36

with the word although

play03:37

so it does admit that i'm gonna start

play03:39

with some sort of a concession or a

play03:40

counter argument so that does fit in the

play03:42

scheme of my thesis

play03:43

but i want you to just think right now

play03:45

okay when i think about

play03:47

body paragraphing let's focus on that

play03:50

but notice here i start with a null

play03:52

though and

play03:53

my although is actually going to clarify

play03:55

the negative psychological effects here

play03:57

and look at my topic sentence here now

play03:59

this doesn't mean that you start every

play04:00

topic sentence with all though

play04:01

what you need to know about topic

play04:03

sentences is this a topic sentence

play04:05

should have some sort of transitional

play04:07

language

play04:08

transitional language we'll type that in

play04:11

right now

play04:12

it should have a reference

play04:15

to your example and it should have your

play04:19

argument

play04:20

and it doesn't matter what order those

play04:21

go in as long as it makes sense okay

play04:23

your topic sentence does not have to

play04:25

have a counter argument your argument

play04:26

doesn't have to have a counter argument

play04:27

if you have questions about counter

play04:28

arguments by the way you can actually

play04:29

check out this video up here

play04:31

okay which deals about when which talks

play04:34

about when you should and should not

play04:35

include counter arguments

play04:36

in your arguments that you write but

play04:38

anyway what we want to know is do we

play04:40

have foundational

play04:41

traditional language a reference to your

play04:43

example and your argument because that's

play04:44

going to help us

play04:45

understand what the topic sentence is

play04:46

doing it's preparing us to say

play04:48

okay what is this paragraph actually

play04:50

going to be about

play04:51

so please note here my topic sentence

play04:54

does indeed suggest that i'm following

play04:56

my thesis

play04:57

and it says although early exposure to

play04:59

horror-based entertainment could

play05:00

potentially lead some to develop

play05:02

anxiety disorders or an unhealthy

play05:04

interest in the occult and paranormal

play05:07

studies seem to suggest that when this

play05:09

type of entertainment is consumed in

play05:11

appropriate settings

play05:12

the end results are actually quite

play05:14

enriching for an individual so that's my

play05:16

topic sentence

play05:17

my topic sentence you'll notice does

play05:18

deal with a little bit of this

play05:20

concession um that i put in my thesis so

play05:23

it's like okay this

play05:24

does fit as a first body paragraph

play05:26

you'll also notice too that i did put

play05:28

some source material in my topic

play05:30

sentence let me make this very clear

play05:32

i do not encourage my kids to do this

play05:34

unless

play05:36

unless they are actually putting this

play05:39

um source material in as a counter

play05:41

argument uh really you don't want to

play05:43

put source material in the topic

play05:45

sentence unless you really know what

play05:47

you're doing

play05:48

and the reason why is because typically

play05:50

your topic sentence it goes topic

play05:52

sentence evidence commentary

play05:53

that's the easiest way to structure your

play05:55

paragraph and if you put your evidence

play05:56

in your topic sentence as well you're

play05:58

skipping out a very important part that

play05:59

organizes your paper for a line of

play06:01

reasoning so that's just something to

play06:02

consider

play06:03

anyway you'll notice that my topic

play06:05

sentence here though does kind of

play06:06

dismiss

play06:07

right this idea or concede this idea

play06:09

that this is true it can lead some to

play06:11

develop

play06:11

anxiety disorders and an unhealthy

play06:14

interest uh in the

play06:15

paranormal that's not what i want to

play06:17

focus on i want to focus on the next

play06:18

part

play06:18

notice how it says studies seem to

play06:20

suggest that when this type of

play06:22

entertainment is consumed in appropriate

play06:24

settings

play06:24

the end results are actually quite

play06:26

enriching for an individual so now

play06:28

notice i

play06:28

right here is the reference to my

play06:30

example and then i've got my argument

play06:32

right here my argument is when this is

play06:35

done in an appropriate setting so i'm

play06:36

going to talk about that

play06:37

and then it also says it can be

play06:39

enriching for an individual to actually

play06:41

experience this type of entertainment

play06:42

so now i need to prove that there are

play06:44

studies that that say this

play06:46

and then i need to explain how those

play06:48

studies show that this can be enriching

play06:49

to an individual and if i do that in my

play06:50

paragraph we're good

play06:52

so what i'm also suggesting here folks

play06:54

is this that if i got rid of my little

play06:55

concession right here

play06:57

i could still have a strong paragraph if

play06:58

i just got rid of it right

play07:00

and i started with studies seem to

play07:02

suggest this is the case

play07:04

however if i were to get rid of this

play07:05

concession this would not be

play07:07

my first body paragraph in my paper and

play07:10

that's because

play07:11

that would then say commercialized fear

play07:13

is beneficial and therefore

play07:15

i would have to do that after i deal

play07:16

with this concession

play07:18

that starts my thesis because my thesis

play07:19

is going to order how i

play07:21

go through my paper okay so anyway

play07:24

i've got my topic sentence now i need to

play07:26

include textual evidence of studies that

play07:28

seem to suggest

play07:29

that this can be enriching so notice

play07:31

what i do here i've got a little bit of

play07:32

transitional language here that's what

play07:34

this purple stands for so the green

play07:35

stands for ham

play07:36

here's my textual evidence from studies

play07:38

the pink here

play07:39

stands for hey this is my argument right

play07:42

appropriate settings can be

play07:44

enriching for an individual and we've

play07:46

got this kind of purple language here

play07:47

that's going to be transitional language

play07:49

that helps maintain a line of reasoning

play07:51

so i have for example one commonality

play07:54

that researchers

play07:55

often observe about those who attend

play07:57

horror movies

play07:58

is that most people no matter the age

play08:00

rarely view these films alone

play08:03

as they rehearse possible threatening

play08:05

scenarios that are experienced in the

play08:06

films

play08:07

notice what i did here i actually took

play08:09

from two different studies from two

play08:10

different sources and i

play08:11

synthesize that into my own sentence

play08:14

this is how you know when synthesis is

play08:15

done

play08:16

really well because if i were to read

play08:18

that you didn't see the quotes in the

play08:19

citations you couldn't tell where my

play08:21

words end and your words begin

play08:23

that is strong synthesis here and i've

play08:26

pulled it from

play08:27

what the research says in these two

play08:29

sources okay

play08:31

so now i need to talk about how not

play08:33

viewing these films alone

play08:34

and the uh and dealing with these

play08:36

life-threatening

play08:38

life-threatening scenarios in a safe way

play08:40

how does that become enriching for

play08:42

people

play08:43

so that's where the commentary comes in

play08:45

now i have a very basic commentary

play08:47

template that i start my kids off on i

play08:49

then teach them to break free from this

play08:51

but this basic commentary template is

play08:54

actually strong

play08:55

you're going to see it as i go

play08:56

throughout the basic template has

play08:58

students say

play08:59

this evidence which we just mentioned

play09:01

here proves

play09:03

disproves challenges refute suggests

play09:05

implies any type of verb that

play09:07

fits right most often up here right see

play09:10

how it says suggests up here i could

play09:11

pull it straight down if i wanted to so

play09:12

we want to say this evidence

play09:14

put a good verb there and then we put

play09:17

um the argument from the topic sentence

play09:20

right in here

play09:21

so we're gonna put the argument up i can

play09:24

spell

play09:24

argument from topic sentence

play09:29

because and then you explain how the

play09:31

evidence does so

play09:32

this word because is just so important

play09:35

and this is if you struggle with

play09:36

commentary

play09:37

i want you to go back to your last paper

play09:39

and see after you put in evidence

play09:41

look at your next sentence did you just

play09:42

make a claim this shows this or this

play09:44

does this if you put the word because at

play09:46

the end of that sentence

play09:48

i promise you you would actually have

play09:50

stronger commentary

play09:51

so we want this word because here and

play09:54

you're going to explain how your

play09:55

evidence proves your claim or claims

play09:57

from your topic sentence

play09:58

and then relates to your thesis so we're

play10:00

going to actually put a little s here

play10:02

right as well so watch what happens here

play10:04

i've got my studies

play10:06

i need to say that this is an

play10:07

appropriate setting and i need to show

play10:09

how this is beneficial to an individual

play10:11

here's the the stats here right

play10:14

people don't do it alone and they

play10:16

rehearse possibly life-threatening such

play10:18

situations but in a safe and contained

play10:21

setting so here we go

play10:22

this evidence proves the enriching

play10:24

ability of horror films

play10:26

now notice what i did here okay is i

play10:28

just pulled that idea

play10:30

maybe with synonyms or exact language

play10:32

from my topic sentence so you're going

play10:34

to see it traced all the way down

play10:36

so this evidence proves the enriching

play10:37

ability of horror films because

play10:40

enjoying such entertainment actually

play10:42

establishes a

play10:43

supportive social adventure

play10:47

one in which any viewer is actually

play10:49

trying to show

play10:50

others he or she is strong enough to

play10:52

make it through the film

play10:53

and receive the natural high provided by

play10:56

the rush of adrenaline

play10:57

so notice what i did here is that as i'm

play10:59

providing my commentary and this is a

play11:01

sophisticated move

play11:02

i'm now taking some evidence from a

play11:05

source

play11:06

and i'm actually putting it in my

play11:07

commentary as well and once again it

play11:09

flows you can't tell where my words end

play11:11

and the quotes begin besides the fact

play11:12

that you can see these quotation marks

play11:15

so this is really looking nice here

play11:16

because i'm explaining how is this

play11:18

enriching

play11:18

because it puts you in a social setting

play11:20

that's supportive

play11:21

that's a good thing and then you can

play11:24

actually experience these kind of

play11:26

natural highs from the rush of the

play11:27

adrenaline

play11:28

and you have to do it with your friends

play11:29

super cool so now look at what i do

play11:32

as i say he it's an enrich it's an

play11:34

enriching

play11:35

right uh appropriate setting for for

play11:38

individuals look at how i then connect

play11:40

it i say furthermore

play11:42

viewing these films with friends is an

play11:43

entirely appropriate setting so i go

play11:46

back to that similar idea by pulling

play11:48

that same language down

play11:49

since it increases feelings of relative

play11:53

safety

play11:54

which is particularly important when

play11:56

exposing oneself to potentially

play11:58

traumatic content

play11:59

no matter how how unrealistic it is now

play12:01

notice that i put the word since right

play12:03

here

play12:03

that's i could put the word because

play12:05

there and this would still make sense

play12:07

i'm just

play12:07

trying not to repeat the word because so

play12:09

much good commentary is going to be

play12:11

loaded with cause and effect language

play12:13

and you'll actually see that

play12:14

with all of my blue language that's

play12:16

highlighted here that's why this is

play12:17

highlighted blue

play12:18

okay so i tried to color code this for

play12:20

you i'll go through what every part of

play12:21

this means

play12:22

another part of commentary though is

play12:24

also really trying to rely on strong

play12:26

verbs

play12:27

and uh stereotypes and word connotations

play12:30

you need to articulate those

play12:31

and one of the things that you'll notice

play12:33

is that i've got these yellow words here

play12:36

these are the verbs that i'm picking i'm

play12:37

not just saying says and claims

play12:39

and states those are garbage verbs we

play12:41

don't want that we want strong verbs

play12:43

and so because of that um i'm really

play12:46

looking um

play12:46

if you look at my yellow words here

play12:48

you're going to notice that they're

play12:49

connotatively meaningful

play12:51

and we want that okay and what's

play12:53

underlined here is a stereotype that i'm

play12:55

bringing out

play12:56

right um when it's just an assumption

play12:59

that i have right

play13:00

when you're exposing someone to

play13:01

traumatic content or yourself to that

play13:04

it's nice to have people around to

play13:06

support you okay

play13:07

um and and then because of that you'll

play13:09

feel safer let me continue my commentary

play13:12

such an experience in this sense is able

play13:15

is also potentially beneficial so once

play13:18

we do it in a social setting because

play13:19

it's appropriate and we feel safe

play13:21

it's also potentially beneficial same

play13:24

argument for my topic sentence

play13:25

for the consumer due to the fact that

play13:28

he or she can bond with others who

play13:32

were able or we should actually change

play13:34

that to r

play13:35

right can bond with others who are able

play13:38

to empathize

play13:39

with his or her experiences so now look

play13:42

at what i'm doing here is i'm connecting

play13:44

all of my

play13:45

commentary and reasoning together and i

play13:47

have

play13:48

this is enriching because it's a social

play13:50

setting it's an appropriate setting

play13:51

and this is also potentially beneficial

play13:53

which is just another way to say

play13:54

enriching so i've got that same idea all

play13:56

the way throughout

play13:58

as i continue while being scared

play14:01

individuals often exhibit a side of

play14:03

vulnerability in moments like these

play14:05

having the support uh sorry while being

play14:08

scared

play14:08

individuals often exhibit a side of

play14:10

vulnerability and in moments like these

play14:13

having the support of friends and or

play14:15

peers makes it easier to overcome

play14:17

the fictional dilemmas that right there

play14:19

is a straight assumption that's a

play14:20

stereotype that i know

play14:22

that's allowing me to connect how this

play14:24

can be enriching so i put it right in

play14:26

there and i underlined it

play14:27

now now that i provide the commentary

play14:30

i'm like you know what though

play14:31

i need to go a little bit further here

play14:33

so i'm going to introduce some more

play14:34

evidence and i'm going to have a layered

play14:35

paragraph right

play14:37

and another study okay because that's

play14:39

what i'm talking about talking about

play14:40

research right

play14:41

so i have in addition jeffrey goldstein

play14:43

a professor who studies violent

play14:45

entertainment

play14:46

reminds people that the benefit of many

play14:48

slasher thrasher movies

play14:50

is that they also often provide just

play14:53

resolutions to their storylines

play14:55

notice what i did here is i started to

play14:57

include more research

play14:58

first of all when i mentioned jeffrey

play15:00

goldstein i didn't just say his name and

play15:02

then go into he reminds people i put his

play15:04

credentials there

play15:06

okay super important i'm gonna go over

play15:08

that in my next video as to why

play15:09

okay but also notice that i put the word

play15:12

reminds i didn't say says

play15:13

states or claims in fact those three

play15:15

verbs kind of suck

play15:16

right use strong verbs we want to say

play15:19

things like theorize

play15:20

suggest um remind

play15:23

recount argues those are way better

play15:26

verbs we want to pick those out

play15:28

okay but notice that i'm also talking

play15:30

about another study that talks about the

play15:32

the desire for human beings to have a

play15:33

just resolution okay well how is this

play15:36

beneficial i need to provide the

play15:37

commentary for that and i do that right

play15:39

here

play15:40

such uplifting notes stand to remind

play15:42

people about the difference between

play15:44

truth and fiction and promote the

play15:47

positive ideal

play15:48

that justice is possible and notice that

play15:51

i put

play15:51

source e at the end of the sentence and

play15:52

not right here that's because all of it

play15:54

comes from source c

play15:56

even if they don't end justly that would

play15:58

be those movies these movies can act as

play16:00

covert rehearsals which help viewers

play16:03

cope with the real life monsters

play16:05

sorry with real life monsters should

play16:07

consumers run into them

play16:09

thus so know this word this word thus

play16:12

right here

play16:13

is also that kind of cause and effect

play16:14

language we'll highlight that blue

play16:17

thus emerging from the theaters right if

play16:20

we were to watch a film like this

play16:22

emerging from the theaters with stronger

play16:24

emotional bonds

play16:25

renewed hopes for a just world a

play16:28

stronger sense of self-determination

play16:30

and even a greater understanding of all

play16:33

the unknown that could go wrong in life

play16:35

is certainly worth the inexpensive cost

play16:38

of watching a countdown to someone's

play16:39

head exploding

play16:41

source a and that's the end of my

play16:42

paragraph

play16:44

that folks is a strong paragraph with

play16:47

strong commentary and strong synthesis

play16:50

and this is what we're trying to do now

play16:52

i do have a couple notes on the bottom

play16:53

of this document and just so you know

play16:54

this document will indeed be

play16:56

can be found right in the description

play16:57

down below okay

play16:59

my first note is that when you provide

play17:01

commentary what you want to do is you

play17:03

want to rely heavily on cause and effect

play17:05

language and i give examples of some

play17:06

here because

play17:07

due to so since thus consequently

play17:09

therefore

play17:10

as etc okay cause and effect language

play17:14

should be showing up all throughout

play17:15

that's why i've got so much blue

play17:17

that's why i've got so much blue in here

play17:19

okay and i've bolded it for you just so

play17:21

it sticks out

play17:22

also when you provide commentary you

play17:24

want to articulate assumptions and

play17:26

stereotypes in your understandings of

play17:27

the world

play17:28

to connect the evidence to your claims

play17:30

that's what i do here with my underlying

play17:31

parts those kind of assumptions

play17:33

okay and then i also say when you

play17:36

provide commentary you want to really

play17:38

focus

play17:38

on the verbs that you use you put in the

play17:40

best verbs possible

play17:41

and commentary is actually going to be

play17:43

implied as you use them it's really

play17:46

precise here

play17:47

and i've highlighted all of those in

play17:49

yellow for you to see

play17:50

okay now one other note and this is

play17:53

about sophisticated synthesis

play17:55

is this your commentary will incorporate

play17:58

nuggets of quotes from other sources as

play18:01

well

play18:02

and therefore your ideas will be fully

play18:04

synthetic i mean if you read

play18:06

my topic sentence my evidence and my

play18:08

commentary you will see these quotes

play18:10

popping in and out consistently

play18:13

and you're going to be like wow that

play18:14

really fits in but i know what his

play18:16

argument is

play18:17

his argument is is that viewing these it

play18:19

can be socially

play18:20

and personally beneficial in

play18:22

understanding the unknown and even

play18:23

ourselves

play18:24

and that's exactly what my topic

play18:26

sentence says and that relates directly

play18:28

to my thesis

play18:28

as well and so because of that i've got

play18:31

a perfectly clear line of reasoning

play18:32

and i can go right into my next topic

play18:34

sentence uh to support this

play18:37

which will then guide my next body

play18:39

paragraph to support this okay

play18:41

so that's how you actually want to

play18:43

produce body paragraphs and you want to

play18:44

do

play18:45

preferably two to three you'll notice

play18:47

that i pulled from a myriad of sources

play18:49

there

play18:50

and also you might want to go back and

play18:51

just look at how i included source a

play18:53

with just a quick little description at

play18:54

the end

play18:55

that is citing the source i don't need

play18:57

to provide commentary for that

play18:59

because it just fits directly in with my

play19:00

ideas i was providing commentary what

play19:02

came before

play19:03

okay so we do want to recognize such

play19:06

things now if this video was helpful i

play19:08

want to ask that you help us by

play19:10

clicking like and subscribe it's the

play19:12

easiest thing that you can do right

play19:14

the garden of english does encourage um

play19:16

all of us here at the garden of english

play19:18

it's not actually just me

play19:19

i'm just the one you see the most right

play19:21

we encourage you to like us

play19:22

on facebook follow us on facebook and

play19:24

instagram because we are active on there

play19:26

um as i've mentioned before i do have a

play19:28

tick tock that i do update yeah quasi

play19:30

regularly i'm still trying to get in the

play19:31

habit of that

play19:32

um and whatnot we have affiliate links

play19:34

down below

play19:35

uh that will offer you a opportunity to

play19:38

gain support in your classroom or for

play19:39

your ap and um

play19:41

just your ap learning in general uh

play19:43

particularly if you uh

play19:44

are looking for other ways to learn

play19:46

about the content there's a textbook

play19:47

down there that i encourage you to

play19:48

consider purchasing because the content

play19:50

in there is excellent i also co-authored

play19:52

it so i'm biased here

play19:53

um but nonetheless uh please note that

play19:55

is the case

play19:56

we've got links to merch in our

play19:57

description and things like that and uh

play20:00

in all of this though just watching the

play20:01

videos helps support us as well and i'm

play20:03

thankful that we can offer an

play20:04

opportunity to help you especially

play20:06

during this

play20:06

coveted time as well so um with that

play20:09

being said we're going to film another

play20:11

video this weekend where it talks about

play20:12

the common mistakes of

play20:13

synthesis and i hope that you all look

play20:15

in and check in on that as well i have a

play20:18

really good friend

play20:19

joining me with that who is 10 times the

play20:20

teacher that i will ever be

play20:22

and i'm super grateful that she's

play20:24

willing to join up with us so

play20:25

with that being said until next video

play20:27

have a great one

play20:34

[Music]

play20:41

you

Rate This

5.0 / 5 (0 votes)

Related Tags
Synthesis WritingAP Exam PrepBody ParagraphsFear CommercializationHorror EntertainmentPsychological EffectsAcademic TipsArgumentative WritingSource IntegrationSocial Benefits