The way it ALL ENDS: the five endgames that all women face

Summary

Dr. Orion Taraban discusses the modern sexual marketplace and its implications for women, highlighting the phenomenon of female hypergamy and the increasing difficulty for women to find partners as they age. The talk explores the traditional gender roles in courtship, the changing dynamics between men and women, and the potential outcomes for women based on their choices and societal trends. Dr. Taraban suggests that most women will end up with a suitable partner, but not necessarily their first choice, leading to potential marital dissatisfaction.

Takeaways

• 📉 The current sexual marketplace sees fewer people marrying, entering relationships, or even hooking up than ever before, with female hypergamy being a primary driver.
• 🎓 Childless women under 30 in the West are outperforming men in education and earnings, contributing to the trend of women 'dating up'.
• 💍 Traditional gender roles persist, with men expected to make the first move in relationships, a norm that has not evolved with changing societal views.
• 👩‍🦳 As women age, their sexual market value decreases, leading to a smaller pool of suitable partners and a potential mismatch with their expectations.
• 🔄 The dynamics of the sexual marketplace change at 30, when men's sexual market value typically exceeds women's for the first time.
• 🏆 High-performing men have more options and may be reluctant to commit to one person, creating a paradox where women's demands become more expensive over time.
• 🤔 There are five possible end games for women in the current sexual marketplace, ranging from securing a high-value man to remaining unpartnered.
• 🛍️ Women's reluctance to lower their 'price tags' (expectations) makes it less likely for them to secure a high-value man as time goes on.
• 👜 The analogy of designer bags suggests that most women are not in the 'one percent' and thus less likely to 'afford' or attract the top 10 percent of men.
• 🧍‍♀️ Approximately 25% of women are unmarried by 40, and the trend suggests that this figure may continue to rise, with many women unintentionally remaining childless.
• 🌟 The key to navigating the sexual marketplace is adaptability; women who adjust their expectations to the changing conditions are more likely to secure the relationship they desire.

Q & A

What is the main topic of Dr. Orion Taraban's talk?

The main topic of Dr. Orion Taraban's talk is the current state of the sexual marketplace, focusing on the phenomenon of fewer people getting married, entering relationships, or even hooking up, and the implications of female hypergamy and the changing dynamics between men and women in the context of relationships.

What is the significance of the statement 'it all ends' in the title of the talk?

The statement 'it all ends' refers to the potential outcomes or 'end games' for women in the context of the sexual marketplace, particularly as they age and face the consequences of the existing dynamics between men and women in relationships.

Why does the speaker mention that fewer people are getting married, entering into relationships, or hooking up than ever before?

The speaker mentions this trend to highlight the unprecedented lows in relationship formation and to explore the reasons behind it, including female hypergamy and the success of young women relative to young men, which affects the dynamics of the sexual marketplace.

What is 'female hypergamy' as discussed in the script?

Female hypergamy refers to the tendency of women to seek partners who are of a higher status, earning, or educational level than themselves. This is a significant factor in the current dynamics of the sexual marketplace, as it contributes to the challenge of finding suitable partners, especially for high-performing young women.

How does the speaker describe the role of women as 'gatekeepers of sex' and men as 'gatekeepers of commitment'?

The speaker describes women as 'gatekeepers of sex' because, traditionally and in most cultures, women have more control over when and with whom they engage in sexual relationships. Men are referred to as 'gatekeepers of commitment' because they are typically expected to make the first move towards a more committed relationship, such as marriage.

What is the significance of the age of 30 in the context of the sexual marketplace value (SMV) for men and women?

The age of 30 is significant because it is the point at which the average male's sexual marketplace value exceeds that of the average woman's for the first time. This shift in SMV affects the dynamics of relationship formation and the perceived 'cost' of the 'offer' men make to women.

What are the five possible 'end games' for women as discussed in the script?

The five possible 'end games' for women are: (A) keeping their standards high and securing a high-value man, (B) lowering their standards to secure a high-value man, (C) keeping their standards high but settling for a lower-value man, (D) lowering their standards but still settling for a lower-value man, and (E) neither securing nor settling, resulting in remaining unpartnered.

Why does the speaker suggest that scenario A (keeping price tags high and securing a high-value man) is the least likely outcome?

Scenario A is considered the least likely outcome because men with high sexual marketplace value have many options and are unlikely to 'settle' for one woman when they can have multiple potential partners. Additionally, as women age and their SMV decreases, the 'offer' from men remains the same, making it increasingly expensive and less attractive for high-value men to commit.

What is the speaker's perspective on the trend of women remaining unmarried and childless?

The speaker acknowledges that the trend of women remaining unmarried and childless is increasing, especially among high-earning women with advanced degrees. However, they suggest that for many women, this outcome is unintentional and not necessarily desired, particularly as societal expectations and personal desires for family and commitment can change with age.

How does the speaker use the analogy of designer bags to explain women's choices in the sexual marketplace?

The speaker uses the analogy of designer bags to illustrate how women may be willing to pay a high 'price tag' (high standards) for a product (partner) that they perceive as being of high value. However, they also point out that most women are not in the 'one percent' and may need to lower their standards (price tags) to find a suitable partner, similar to how a consumer might opt for a discounted or less expensive product if the high-value item is out of reach.

What advice does the speaker offer to women based on the discussion?

The speaker advises women to be aware of the changing dynamics and potential outcomes in the sexual marketplace as they age. They suggest that women should consider their options and the likelihood of different outcomes, and that they may need to adjust their expectations or 'price tags' to secure a relationship that they desire.