What does it mean when a Narcissist says I HATE YOU

Summary

In this episode of 'The Narcissist Code', Lee Hammock, a self-aware narcissist, explores the meaning behind a narcissist's declaration of hatred. He discusses the possibility that it may not be personal but a reflection of the narcissist's own self-loathing or a reaction to being held accountable. Hammock advises viewers to analyze the context and not to take it personally, as it could be a projection of the narcissist's internal struggles.

Takeaways

• 😀 The video discusses the meaning behind a narcissist's declaration of hatred towards someone.
• 🗣️ Lee Hammock, a self-aware narcissist, shares insights on narcissistic behavior and communication.
• 🔥 Narcissists may say 'I hate you' during arguments or when they feel threatened or exposed.
• 🤔 The phrase 'I hate you' from a narcissist could reflect their internal feelings of self-hatred rather than a genuine hatred of the person they're speaking to.
• 💔 It's important to consider the context and events leading up to a narcissist expressing hatred, as it might not be about the person they're speaking to.
• 👀 Narcissists might hate how someone makes them feel about themselves in a particular moment, rather than hating the person outright.
• 😡 Some narcissists may genuinely harbor strong negative feelings or even a desire for revenge against someone who has hurt or exposed them.
• 🤨 The video advises viewers to take a step back and analyze the situation to understand the true meaning behind a narcissist's words.
• 🌟 Understanding the motivations behind a narcissist's declaration of hatred can be liberating and aid in emotional healing.
• 📈 The video aims to help viewers grow and heal by providing a deeper understanding of narcissistic behavior.

Q & A

What does it mean when a narcissist says they hate you?

When a narcissist says they hate you, it often means they hate how you make them feel about themselves in that moment, or they may be projecting their self-hatred onto you. It might not necessarily reflect their genuine feelings towards you as a person.

Why do some narcissists claim to hate someone even though they are in a relationship with them?

Some narcissists might claim to hate someone they are in a relationship with as a reaction to feeling exposed or held accountable for their actions, or because the person triggers feelings of inadequacy or shame.

How can a person tell if a narcissist's claim of hating them is genuine or a reaction to a specific situation?

A person can look at the context and the buildup of events leading up to the statement, considering the narcissist's behavior and what has been happening in their life to determine if the claim is genuine or a reaction to a specific situation.

What is the role of accountability in a narcissist's expression of hatred towards someone?

Accountability can trigger a narcissist's expression of hatred if they feel exposed or if their actions are being questioned, leading them to project their negative feelings onto the person holding them accountable.

How does the speaker suggest dealing with the hurtful words of 'I hate you' from a narcissist?

The speaker suggests not taking the words personally, understanding the context behind them, and looking at the narcissist's behavior and life circumstances to gain perspective and potentially set oneself free from the emotional impact.

What does the speaker mean by 'taking a step back' when a narcissist says 'I hate you'?

The speaker means to analyze the situation objectively, considering what led to the statement and the narcissist's possible internal struggles, rather than focusing solely on the personal attack.

Why might a narcissist express hatred towards someone who has exposed their wrongdoings?

A narcissist might express hatred towards someone who exposes their wrongdoings because it threatens their image and control, leading to a defensive reaction of projecting their negative feelings onto the person who exposed them.

How can understanding a narcissist's true feelings behind 'I hate you' help someone heal from the relationship?

Understanding the underlying reasons behind a narcissist's words can help someone realize that the hatred expressed is often more about the narcissist's own issues than about them, which can aid in healing and moving on from the relationship.

What advice does the speaker give to those who are struggling with the impact of a narcissist's words?

The speaker advises taking a step back, analyzing the situation, and not taking the narcissist's words personally, which can help in healing and growing from the experience.

Why does the speaker emphasize the importance of not taking a narcissist's words 'I hate you' too personally?

The speaker emphasizes this because the words are often a reflection of the narcissist's own issues and not an accurate representation of the person's worth or the relationship, and understanding this can help mitigate the emotional impact.

Outlines

00:00

🔍 Understanding Narcissistic 'Hate'

In this segment, Lee Hammock, a self-aware narcissist, delves into the complex emotions behind a narcissist's declaration of hate. He explores the nuances of what it means when a narcissist says they 'hate' someone, suggesting it's often not a genuine reflection of hatred towards the person, but rather a projection of their own insecurities and negative self-perceptions. Lee emphasizes the importance of understanding the context and the narcissist's internal state when such statements are made, as it can provide insight into their behavior and help others deal with the emotional impact of such interactions.

05:01

🤔 The Complexity of Narcissistic Emotions

Lee continues the discussion by addressing the misconception that all narcissists hate themselves. He clarifies that while some may indeed harbor self-hatred, it's not a universal trait among narcissists. The focus then shifts to the reasons behind a narcissist's 'I hate you' statement, suggesting it's often a reaction to how the other person makes them feel at that moment. Lee advises listeners to consider the circumstances leading up to such statements to better understand the underlying issues. He also encourages viewers to reflect on whether the hate is genuine or a result of being held accountable for their actions, which can be a difficult pill for narcissists to swallow.

10:02

💬 Deconstructing the 'I Hate You' Statement

In the final part of the script, Lee provides advice on how to handle a narcissist's 'I hate you' declaration. He suggests taking a step back to analyze the situation objectively, which can aid in emotional healing and personal growth. Lee acknowledges the difficulty of not taking such statements personally, especially when accompanied by insults and personal attacks. He concludes by reiterating the importance of understanding the true meaning behind a narcissist's words and encourages viewers to seek support and resources to help them navigate these complex relationships.

Keywords

💡Narcissist

A narcissist is an individual with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. In the video, the speaker identifies as a self-aware narcissist and discusses the behavior of narcissists, particularly when they express hatred towards others. The term is central to understanding the video's theme of narcissistic behavior and its impact on relationships.

💡Hate

In the context of the video, 'hate' is a strong emotion that a narcissist may claim to feel towards someone else. The speaker explores the various reasons why a narcissist might say 'I hate you,' suggesting that it often reflects the narcissist's feelings about themselves rather than the target of their anger. The video script uses this term to illustrate the complex emotional dynamics within relationships involving narcissists.

💡Self-aware narcissist

A self-aware narcissist is someone with narcissistic personality traits who recognizes and acknowledges their condition. The speaker, Lee Hammock, identifies as such and uses this term to establish credibility and provide insight into narcissistic behavior from a first-person perspective. The concept is important for understanding the speaker's approach to discussing narcissism.

💡Accountability

Accountability in the video refers to the expectation that individuals should accept responsibility for their actions and face consequences. The speaker mentions that narcissists may express hatred when they are held accountable for their actions, particularly if those actions are harmful or deceitful. This term is used to highlight the narcissist's resistance to taking responsibility and their tendency to deflect blame.

💡Empath

An empath is a person who is highly sensitive to the emotions of others and can easily absorb and mirror those emotions. In the video, the term is used to describe individuals who might be particularly affected by the emotional outbursts of a narcissist, such as when the narcissist says 'I hate you.' The concept is relevant to understanding the emotional impact on those involved with narcissists.

💡Toxic

The term 'toxic' is used to describe relationships or behaviors that are harmful or destructive. In the context of the video, the speaker discusses toxic behaviors of narcissists, including expressing hatred and engaging in abusive patterns. The keyword helps to emphasize the negative aspects of narcissistic relationships.

💡Relationship

A relationship, as discussed in the video, refers to the dynamic between two or more individuals, particularly in the context of personal or intimate connections. The video explores how narcissists' behavior, such as expressing hatred, can affect the stability and health of these relationships. The term is central to understanding the video's focus on interpersonal dynamics.

💡Internal unhappiness

Internal unhappiness refers to the emotional turmoil or dissatisfaction that a person experiences within themselves. The video suggests that narcissists may express hatred towards others as a way of projecting their own internal unhappiness. This concept is important for understanding the underlying causes of a narcissist's outward behavior.

💡Personal attack

A personal attack is a direct, often hostile, verbal or emotional assault on an individual. In the video, the speaker discusses how statements like 'I hate you' can be perceived as personal attacks, even when they may be more reflective of the narcissist's own issues. The term is used to illustrate the hurtful nature of narcissistic communication.

💡Healing

Healing in the video refers to the process of recovery and growth after experiencing emotional trauma or distress, particularly in the context of relationships with narcissists. The speaker suggests that understanding the true meaning behind a narcissist's words can aid in the healing process. This term is integral to the video's message of empowerment and recovery.

💡Support groups

Support groups are gatherings of individuals who share common experiences or challenges and offer each other emotional support and advice. The video mentions support groups as a resource for those dealing with the aftermath of relationships with narcissists. The term is used to highlight the importance of community and shared understanding in the healing process.

Highlights

Narcissists may claim to hate you, but it's essential to understand the context and meaning behind their words.

The phrase 'I hate you' from a narcissist often comes during arguments and can be consistent once started.

It's crucial to differentiate whether a narcissist hates you as a person or hates how you make them feel about themselves.

Some narcissists may genuinely hate you, especially if you've held them accountable for their actions.

The feeling of hate from a narcissist can stem from their internal struggles and unhappiness.

Narcissists might express hate as a reaction to being exposed or held accountable for their wrongdoings.

The speaker, Lee Hammock, clarifies that not all narcissists are the same and that their behaviors can vary.

Hate expressed by a narcissist is often a reflection of their self-hatred and not a direct attack on the individual.

Understanding the reasons behind a narcissist's hate言论 can help you emotionally distance yourself from their words.

The speaker suggests looking at the events leading up to the expression of hate to better understand its origin.

It's important to recognize that a narcissist's hate may not be about you but rather their own failures and shortcomings.

The video aims to help viewers understand and potentially heal from interactions with narcissists.

Lee Hammock emphasizes the difficulty of not taking a narcissist's hate personally, acknowledging the emotional impact.

The video provides insights into how narcissists may react when their actions are exposed, leading to expressions of hate.

The speaker encourages viewers to seek support and education through their courses and support groups for healing.

The video concludes with a call to action for viewers to subscribe and share the content to help reach more people.

Transcripts

what is going on beautiful folks today

we're going to be talking about what

does it mean when a narcissist says that

they hate you what do what do they mean

when they say that if you're new here my

name is Lee hammock I'm a self-aware

narcissist and welcome to another

episode of the narcissis code

[Music]

[Music]

welcome back folks welcome back welcome

back yes yes yes that's the question of

the day isn't it like what do the pesky

narcissistic people what do they mean

when they say that I hate you that they

hate you

um um because they like a lot of people

get this question a lot of people get

this this this response a lot of people

get this answer from the toxic abusive

narcissistic person that they're dealing

with they they hear this a lot don't

they you hear this a lot I hate you I

hate everything about you this you'll

notice this right here

y'all it mostly come like it can happen

dur during the duration of the

relationship right you can be with this

person you can definitely be with this

narcissistic person that is claiming to

hate you right you can definitely be in

a relationship with somebody that is

claiming to hate your guts that is

claiming that you mean nothing to them

you can absolutely be in a relationship

with a person like that right they'll

say it in an argument they'll say it in

an argument they'll say it uh here and

there they'll they'll say it um once

they

started once they start it once they

start saying it they'll say it pretty

consistently right once they start

saying that they hate you they'll say it

pretty consistently but what do they

mean when they say it do they absolutely

do they absolutely hate you as a human

being do they hate you as a person or or

or do they hate how you make them feel

about themselves do they hate what you

make them question question about

themselves do do they hate being around

you to the point because of all the

questions that come up within them do

they hate that right

there I ask that because it's extremely

important because yeah it could could do

some narcissist absolutely hate you yeah

some narcissists do think that when they

say they hate you do they some of them

do think that you ruined their life

somehow some way sh before like

especially if you left them because

they've cheated like it's absolutely it

sounds absolutely like ridiculous that

somebody could hate you for leaving them

for doing something bad to you that's

insane you see what I'm saying they hate

you for holding them accountable they

hate that like they I hate you so damn

much I'm going to ruin your life and

they they will try to ruin your life

some of them will absolutely try to go

above and beyond to ruin your entire

damn life because they say they hate you

right that happen to so many people that

happens so many times um but do but most

times the narcissists when they say this

type of stuff they hate how you make

them feel about themselves in that

moment in this General moment in

vicinity right here they hate how you

make them feel about themselves like I

hate as a narcissist I hate how you make

me feel about myself in that moment and

let me sidebar that me so many comments

on people like I guess new people who

follow me like why don't you just say we

for every single thing Le you're a

narcissist too like y I don't say we

because I don't do every single thing a

narcissist does like every narcissistic

person is different if it's something I

do then I'll say we or I've done this

like people like Lee what what happened

when you cheated on your wife 45 times

and did it does you you slept with

everything

walking no that's not me like people

keep saying that I just respond like can

you start saying we I I prefer somebody

said I prefer if you say we in in your

videos I just responded no you prefer

something um but yeah so narcissistic

people y'all they hate sidebar over they

hate how you make them feel about

themselves so in this situation

disapplied to me like if I'm around you

and I feel like that you're more

physically attractive than me than me I

hate how you make me feel about myself

so sometimes I might say I hate you you

know and hate is a strong word and it

sucks because some and you and as you as

a person as a human maybe as a a

possible empath or you know what not you

um you are it's hard hearing the words I

hate you coming from somebody that that

claims to love you or said that they

will love you and never hurt you and

things like that they promise to never

hurt you but now they're saying that

they hate you you're the biggest mistake

I've made you're this you're that they

are they're claiming you're this

horrible horrible human being they're

claiming this about you they're claiming

that about you and like I said in a lot

of these spaces they have they really

don't have a leg to stand on they're

really upset and angry because you like

because you are doing well like and it's

crazy y'all it's crazy when they say

they hate you it really means that they

a lot of times it means that they hate

themselves like not only do they hate

how you make them feel about themselves

they hate like themselves internally not

every single narcissist is the same y

like I said earlier not every single

narcissist is going to hate themselves

that's not me I just don't believe that

to be true um there is a lot of a lot of

internal unhappiness and things like

that when you're dealing with narcissist

right but not every single narcissist is

going to hate themselves to that type of

extent right

so when they do say I hate you take a

like it's gonna hurt you in the moment

but once you get a chance to calm down

think about that right here think about

this what prompted that

what triggered that what what what was

going on five minutes before 10 minutes

before how has their day been going

because you you can see right here that

a lot of times is not even about you the

words I hate you even if it's coming

even if it's personalized I hate you

Lee I hate you Debbie I hate you Ashley

I hate you you know I hate you whatever

their name what whatever is they'll

they'll say they hate you and it's seem

like a personal attack on you right but

it really is just look at their life

look what's going on with them that's

what they hate they hate how you make

them feel about themselves in this

moment they hate themselves because they

have they themselves haven't

accomplished something they hate

themselves because they themselves feel

like they haven't done enough with their

own life so they're sitting up here

angry as hell taking it out on you

they're taking that inner self-hatred

out on you you get the brunt of

everything like they're taking that

inner stuff out on you so what do they

mean when they say they hate you look at

the moment look in the moment look look

at the buildup what has been going on

for the last few days weeks or whatever

and like look at the buildup of where

this hate is coming from because this

can help the reason I say this because

it can help set you free in the long run

it can help you know create some create

this distance between you and them

emotionally it help set you free when

they say I hate you and it can stop it

can help you to stop taking it so

personally when they say I hate you you

know because if they say I hate you look

at the real like take a step back and

look at the real situation look at what

they are actually saying look at what

they're actually talking about that they

hate because it's important you know

because yeah it's it's going to seem

like a personal attack because it's

personalized towards you they added your

name to it but at the end of the day is

it really you that they hate or is it

something about themselves that they

hate because yeah can narcissist

absolutely hate you you know what I'm

saying you it iten right there that does

happen they absolutely can hate some

some of them can absolutely hate you

y'all I'm going be real some narcissists

can hate you like they have this hatred

towards you and you can tell how they're

treating you can tell how hard they're

trying to make your life that's one of

the things that does happen like you can

tell that they don't feel a certain type

of way about you or they do feel a

certain type of way about you because

what is going on in the moment because

how they're treating you and what

they're doing you can tell then because

that's important as well that's why I

just saying like some of them do like

just being real some of them do hate you

look look at the stuff that they're

doing look at the stuff that they're

doing you know you can tell like okay

they do yeah they they kind of got a

little they got a little flame for me

because but ask yourself why ask it is

because they absolutely is it because

some like you did something or they did

something to you and you and you just

said okay it's accountability a clock we

gonna hold you accountable right now

right it's accountability the clock it's

time to hold you accountable and then

they just like I hate you like you outed

them to their Affair partner and now

they hate you you exposed them online

and now they hate you you see I'm saying

what do they hate is it just some

genuine hate because you are a horrible

person or is it just like something that

has happened in their life and they may

and they try to make you um it's

something that happened in their life

and you held them accountable for and

it's something that is absolutely their

own fault what do what are they actually

hating y'all you know I mean what are

they actually hating here is it you or

is it or is it they you just holding

them accountable they're not used to

this accountability they're not used to

this being exposed and not used to their

reputation being ruined for something

that they have actually done you didn't

make it up they actually did it you you

didn't go ah here and lie and make

something up they actually did it you

might have exposed them and now they

hate you so what does it mean when they

say I hate you it really does it could

absolutely mean that they feel this type

of weight because you expose them you

won you defeated them so that's where

this hate could be coming from y'all so

like said that's what I'm trying to tell

y like don't always try not to take it

personally it's hard I know it's hard

not to take it personally when they're

not only saying I hate you but also

lashing out insults at you it's hard as

hell like Le Woo Lee I wish it was that

easy to just say you know what I wish it

was that easy to just walk away and

whatnot I wish it was that easy to just

like you know

what he said he hate me but you don't

mean I can take it I can take

you know is is he said he hate me but he

call me a b a c you know said I'm stupid

talking about my mama talking about my

daddy he just you know all the insults

he could have lashed at me he lashed at

me you know so it's very difficult in

that space right there within that

Dynamic so I understand it so I'm not

say I'm not saying it's easy but just

take a step back and this right here

just understanding what they mean when

they say I hate you can help set you

free it can help you heal it can help

you grow and whatnot as well so there

something just something to consider

y'all I'm just put this this video

together um and whatnot just kind to

help people you know I'm always trying

to help people I'm trying to find

different ways to to break the through

like the glass ceiling so to speak and

helping people heal and helping people

grow and whatnot um anyways y'all thank

you for tuning in to another episode I

really appreciate every single one of

y'all y'all know I'm thankful for y'all

make sure you subscribe to the channel

if you already have it help reach more

people like somebody somebody else

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you so the H this is out thank you so

much for making it to the end of my

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thank you so much again I will see you

in the next video peace