The One Thing You Can Do to Make a Narcissist Fear You And Why It Works
Summary
TLDRIn this video, Rebecca Zung, a renowned expert on narcissism and high-conflict communication, shares strategies for dealing with narcissists. She explains that narcissists are driven by a need for 'narcissistic supply' and will go to great lengths to protect their image, which is their primary source of this supply. Zung advises that to make a narcissist fear you, one must threaten this image by creating a situation where they could be exposed, thus losing control and power over you. She emphasizes the importance of disengaging, maintaining control, and walking away as key tactics to reclaim your power and make a narcissist realize they no longer hold sway over you.
Takeaways
- π Rebecca Zung is a recognized expert on narcissists and high-conflict communications.
- π Narcissists are driven by the need for narcissistic supply, which is a constant source of external validation.
- π« Narcissists are likened to hollow chocolate Easter Bunnies, appearing full on the outside but empty within.
- π The 'Diamond level' supply for narcissists is their image and reputation, which they fiercely protect.
- π« To make a narcissist fear, one must threaten their most important source of supply, typically their image.
- π€ Understanding the narcissist's hierarchy of supply is crucial for formulating a strategy against them.
- π‘ The key to gaining power over a narcissist is to disengage emotionally and appear uninterested in their manipulations.
- π« Disengaging and holding the power to expose the narcissist without actually doing so can make them fearful.
- πͺ Maintaining control and composure in the face of a narcissist's provocations is a sign of strength and power.
- π‘οΈ Walking away and creating a strategy to leverage against a narcissist's supply can lead to them losing their grip on you.
Q & A
What is the primary motivation for a narcissist according to Rebecca Zung?
-The primary motivation for a narcissist is the need for narcissistic Supply, which is an endless amount of validation and attention that fills their inner emptiness.
How does Rebecca Zung describe the inner state of a narcissist?
-Rebecca Zung describes the inner state of a narcissist as being completely empty inside, comparing them to a hollow chocolate Easter Bunny that looks nice on the outside but is empty within.
What is the best form of narcissistic Supply according to the transcript?
-The best form of narcissistic Supply, referred to as 'Diamond level Supply' by Rebecca Zung, is image and reputation, which is how they look to the world.
What is the lower tier of narcissistic Supply mentioned in the video script?
-The lower tier of narcissistic Supply includes manipulation, smearing, controlling, and pushing others down to elevate themselves.
How can one make a narcissist fear them, as suggested in the transcript?
-To make a narcissist fear you, one must threaten their source of Supply that is most important to them, which is typically their image and reputation.
What is the strategy to deal with a narcissist as outlined by Rebecca Zung?
-The strategy is to disengage, maintain control, create leverage, and threaten the source of Supply where you can potentially expose them without actually doing so unless they continue their behavior.
Why is it important not to engage with a narcissist's provocations according to the script?
-Engaging with a narcissist's provocations feeds their need for Supply and gives them control. Disengaging deprives them of this control and is a more effective strategy.
What does Rebecca Zung suggest as a way to maintain control when dealing with a narcissist?
-Rebecca Zung suggests maintaining a calm demeanor, being composed, and staying excellent to remain unshakable and unstoppable in the face of a narcissist's attempts to manipulate.
How does Rebecca Zung recommend handling co-parenting with a narcissist?
-Rebecca Zung recommends using an app or a parenting coordinator for co-parenting with a narcissist to minimize exchanges and stick to facts to avoid getting drawn into drama.
What is the ultimate goal when dealing with a narcissist, as per Rebecca Zung's advice?
-The ultimate goal is to reclaim your power, walk away with strength, and not be emotionally hooked or controlled by the narcissist, thus taking back your life.
Outlines
π Understanding Narcissists' Fear
Rebecca Zung, an attorney and expert on narcissists and high-conflict communication, introduces the topic of how to make a narcissist fear you. She explains that narcissists are driven by the need for narcissistic supply, which is the validation and attention they crave to fill their inner emptiness. The best form of supply for them is their image and reputation, which they will defend at all costs. The key to making a narcissist fear you is to threaten their most important source of supply, which could be different for each individual, such as a new relationship, a job, or public image. By understanding what drives them and identifying their primary source of supply, you can develop a strategy to gain leverage over them.
π« Disengaging from Narcissistic Control
In this paragraph, Rebecca emphasizes the importance of disengaging from the control of a narcissist. She advises not to respond to their provocations or attempts to manipulate, as this only feeds their need for control. Instead, she suggests maintaining a calm demeanor, staying composed, and focusing on your own strategy and leverage. By being emotionally disengaged and not caring about their attempts to provoke a reaction, you can reclaim your power and turn the tables on them. This approach leaves the narcissist at a loss, as their power is based on controlling you. Rebecca encourages viewers to join her Facebook group and access her free resources to learn more about dealing with narcissists.
π‘οΈ Shielding Yourself from Narcissistic Attacks
Rebecca discusses strategies for dealing with narcissists in various relationships, including co-parenting. She suggests using technology to minimize communication and sticking to facts to avoid engaging in drama. The goal is to maintain a neutral and factual response, depriving the narcissist of the emotional reaction they seek. By not taking the bait and disengaging, you protect yourself and prevent the narcissist from feeding off your emotions. Rebecca also promotes her Shopify store as an example of how to take control of your life and business, and she encourages viewers to sign up for Shopify's services. She ends by reminding viewers of their strength and the power they have to reclaim their lives from narcissists.
Mindmap
Keywords
π‘Narcissist
π‘Narcissistic Supply
π‘High Conflict Communications
π‘Image Reputation
π‘Disengagement
π‘Leverage
π‘Control
π‘Co-parenting
π‘Shopify
π‘Emotional Fuel
Highlights
Rebecca Zung introduces herself as a globally recognized expert on narcissists and high-conflict communications.
The importance of understanding what drives a narcissist in order to make them fear you.
Narcissists are driven by a need for narcissistic Supply, which leaves them feeling empty inside.
The two-tier hierarchy of narcissistic Supply: image and reputation versus manipulation and control.
Narcissists will protect their image and reputation at any cost, which is the best form of Supply.
To make a narcissist fear you, threaten their most important source of Supply.
Creating a situation where a narcissist fears exposure can make them realize you hold the power.
Disengaging from a narcissist and reclaiming your power is a key strategy.
The importance of not playing by a narcissist's rules and maintaining control.
How narcissists use control and fear to maintain power over you.
The concept of 'diamond level' Supply and its significance in a narcissist's life.
Rebecca advises not to defend, justify, or explain when dealing with a narcissist.
The strategy of walking away and maintaining control to make a narcissist fear you.
How narcissists self-destruct when they can't get a reaction from you.
The power of disengaging and creating a strategy to leverage against a narcissist.
Practical advice for co-parenting with a narcissist and keeping interactions neutral.
Rebecca's recommendation to use technology to minimize contact with a narcissist in co-parenting situations.
The final call to action to join Rebecca's community and access her resources for dealing with narcissists.
Transcripts
narcissists constantly do things to make
you fear them but what's one thing that
you can do to make them fear you I'm
going to tell you in this
video hey I'm Rebecca zung I'm a
globally recognized narcissist and high
conflict Communications expert attorney
and best-selling author of the book slay
the bully heading negotiate with
narcissist and win and if you're new to
this channel welcome welcome welcome I
am so glad that you're here go ahead and
hit that subscribe button and turn on
your notifications so that you never
miss out on any of my powerful content
and it's all designed to help you take
back your power and take back your life
from narcissist and any high conflict
people in your life and if you're
already part of this community I'm so
glad that you're here now let's dive
into what it we're talking about today
which is the one thing that you can do
to make a narcissist fear you let's talk
first about what drives a narcissist
because that's what we have to talk
about in order to get a narcissist to
fear you so what drives a
narcissist is narcissistic Supply they
feel totally and completely empty inside
I've often said they're like that Hollow
chocolate Easter Bunny they look really
nice on the outside but very empty on
the inside they need an endless amount
of narcissistic Supply but that
Supply is something that ends up totally
in depleting you so you are really just
Superfluous they'll take it from whoever
from wherever wherever they can get it
from you happen to be around then that's
fine I know they they they act like
you're totally and completely special
and all of that but really it's because
they know what they need to say they
know what they need to do in order to
get that Supply from you they're
survivalists and they've been working on
this from the beginning you know their
brain just doesn't work the same as
other people's brains you can't take
this personally okay but you do have to
understand understand this the pathology
of it of what's going on here in the
hierarchy of Supply there is the best
form of supply and then there's a lower
tier of Supply the best form of Supply
which I call Diamond level Supply is
image reputation how they look to the
world they will protect and defend that
at any cost and then there's the
lowlevel supply which is manipulation
and smearing and controlling and pushing
other people down so that they feel good
when it comes to
negotiations they'll still take it all
right they want it all or Communications
or whatever it is how to get a nurses is
to fear you what do you have to do you
have to threaten a source of Supply
that's more important that's most
important that's their thing that's
their uh and that's image you have to
figure that out and then that informs
everything else that you do so what is
that for them well it's G to be
different for every narcissist in some
way it could be their new girlfriend it
could be the judge it could be their
employees it could be their employer it
could be their celebrity fans right you
know whoever but or it could be all of
it all of the above but you got to know
so that you can figure out your strategy
so you can figure figure out what to do
so what's the one thing that you can do
to make a narcissist fear you create
something that's going to threaten that
they're going to look bad threaten that
you're going to expose them and then not
expose them because if you do then your
Leverage is gone slowly start to go you
know what I don't fear you anymore I'm
disengaged aging from this because I
don't need you anymore I'm not afraid of
you because the thing that keeps a
narcissist in power is that they have
control over you that they have this F
spali thing over you that they believe
that you are under their spell so the
one thing that you can do to make a
narcissist fear you is they realize that
not only are you no longer under their
spell or under their control but you're
you're disengaging and not only do you
not care but you hold the cards over
them now you're so no longer interested
you're so disengaged and you can turn
the tables on them youve reclaim your
power you're the one who's in control
you are the one who is ready to walk
away you're the one who has all the
strength you're the one who has all the
power you're the one who's like I don't
even need this anymore but I will expose
you if you keep coming after me and the
more you have your strength the more you
have your power the more you are
thinking I don't even care what you do
you suck the lit life out of what
they're saying what they're doing and
they're going you know what I'm going to
smear you or whatever and you're like I
don't care what you say I'm walking away
from you you really don't care you
really are no longer emotionally hooked
in you really are completely
disengaged from whatever baits whatever
triggers they try to throw out at you
then they are completely at a loss they
won't know what to do because their
power
lies in the control they have over you
so if they no longer have that and
you're abandoning them and you also have
something over them then they have
completely lost their grip over you
you're pulling the rug out from them
they don't have your emotional
fuel there's nothing left to feed their
ego does this make sense give me a yes
in the in the comments if this is making
sense to you if you're so ready to do
this I want you to join my free private
Facebook group narcissist negotiators
right now and I want you to grab my free
Crush my negotiation prep Playbook right
now so that you can get started so if
you're in a personal relationship with a
narcissist in a boss relationship or a
close friend no matter what it is
they're sending you hurtful insults
they're out there twisting reality
smearing you don't defend yourself
because you know I always say never Jade
I always wear Jade but never Jade never
justify argue defend or explain don't
try to set the record straight you don't
need to do that you don't need to
respond to their provocations you don't
need to feed the drama you need to walk
away you need to create strategy
leverage anticipate focus on you
maintain control the harder they try to
get a reaction out of you they're going
to self-destruct because that's what
Happ happens they always are the worst
right before they're ready to give up so
the real power lies in disengaging
Walking Away maintaining control
creating your strategy your leverage
threatening that source of Supply where
you can potentially expose them and then
you're no longer playing by their rules
and that my friends is the way that you
can make a narcissist fear you and
that's why it works because you're
threat threatening that diamond level
source of Supply that confronts the
thing that means the most to them it's
something they desperately will want to
protect desperately I promise you that
this will work it works in professional
situations it works in personal
situations no matter what kind of
situation you're in it's a boss it's a
colleague it's with whoever it's with
when ever it's in any situation you
maintain your calm demeanor you're
composed you stay excellent they will
not be able to get at you and you will
be the one who's unshakable you will be
the one who's Unstoppable this will also
protect your peace you will have that
invisible shield down around you that I
talk about all the time you no longer
manipulated you're no longer controlled
they lose their power they back off and
they have to direct their toxic energy
elsewhere because they have to get
supply from some somewhere they just
won't get it from you and you know what
you can send them light butt over there
I know that co-parenting with a
narcissist is no fun so for those of you
who are out there going I have a
co-parent I get that you just have to do
it through an app or something so that
you can try to have it as little
exchanging as possible use a parenting
coordinator if you have to or make sure
you have a very very specific agreement
as specific as possible stick to the
facts avoid getting drawn into the drama
so if they say you're always late
picking up the kids because you don't
care about them just respond I will be
there at 5:00 p.m. a scheduled you don't
need to go take the bait you don't need
to don't go don't don't go don't go down
there keeping your responses neutral
factual deprive them of the reaction
that they're looking for they're trying
to provoke you don't go there disengage
protect yourself you're like Wonder
Woman with the bullets or Superman with
the bullets off your chest off your
wrist not me I'm not there they want to
have this false sense of superiority it
masks their deep seated feelings of
inadequacy this works if you like this
make sure you like this video hit like
hit share and make sure that you have
subscribed here hit that notification
Bell well Shopify helps Millions sell
billions around the world through their
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however they want including me at shop.
Rebeccas dong.com you can access your
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touch of a button from your smartphones
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need to sell online manage orders and
develop relationships in one place and
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Ecommerce platform that is
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bestlife allow case go to shopify.com
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slvest life and I will see you in the
next video the next video that that I
want you to watch is why covert
narcissists are dangerous remember you
have the power to reclaim your life from
a narcissist you're stronger you're
smarter and I will see you there
remember today is a great day to start
negotiating your best life you guys are
the best
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