Why Is It So Hard to Do Something That Should Be Easy? (Wall of Awful pt. 1)

Summary

In this engaging talk, the concept of the 'Wall of Awful' is introduced to explain why simple tasks can feel daunting, especially for those with ADHD. The wall is a metaphor for the emotional barriers created by past failures and disappointments. The speaker outlines five strategies to overcome this wall, highlighting that two are ineffective and one is unhealthy. The healthier approaches involve emotional work, either by climbing over the wall or seeking support to navigate it.

Takeaways

• 🧱 The 'Wall of Awful' is a metaphor for the emotional barrier that makes simple tasks feel difficult.
• 📈 This wall is built through repeated failures and the associated disappointments and rejections.
• 🚫 Staring at the wall or trying to go around it are ineffective strategies for overcoming it.
• 💢 The 'Hulk smash' approach, either outwardly or inwardly, is unhealthy and damages relationships or self-esteem.
• 🧗‍♂️ Climbing the wall is a healthier way to overcome the barrier, involving internal emotional work.
• 🤔 It can be challenging to distinguish between staring at the wall and actively climbing it, especially for observers.
• 👶 For children, the physical act of preparing for a task can be a manifestation of emotional climbing.
• 💡 Supportive observers can help by providing a 'longer runway' for individuals to overcome their walls.
• 🖥️ Distractions, especially digital ones, can make it difficult to discern between climbing and procrastination.
• 🔄 Reframing the struggle as 'climbing the wall' can help shift perspective and motivate action.
• 🙏 Acknowledgment and support from the community are essential for individuals to continue overcoming their personal walls.

Q & A

What is the 'Wall of Awful' mentioned in the script?

The 'Wall of Awful' is an emotional barrier that people face when attempting simple tasks, which is built up over time through repeated failures, disappointments, and rejections.

Why do simple tasks become difficult for some people?

Simple tasks become difficult for some people due to the presence of the 'Wall of Awful,' which is an emotional barrier that makes them perceive the task as more daunting than it actually is.

How is the 'Wall of Awful' formed according to Brendan Mahan?

Brendan Mahan explains that the 'Wall of Awful' is formed through failure at tasks, which leads to failure bricks, disappointment bricks, and potentially rejection bricks, all of which contribute to an emotional barrier.

What is the significance of the 'Wall of Awful' being a metaphor?

The 'Wall of Awful' being a metaphor signifies that it's an intangible, emotional construct that varies from person to person and is not a physical entity that can be seen or measured.

Why do people with ADHD tend to have bigger 'Walls of Awful'?

People with ADHD tend to have bigger 'Walls of Awful' because they may experience more frequent failures and disappointments, leading to a higher accumulation of emotional barriers.

What are the three effective ways to get past the 'Wall of Awful' as described in the script?

The three effective ways to get past the 'Wall of Awful' are: 1) Climbing the wall by doing emotional work, 2) Hulk smashing (but this is unhealthy), and 3) Hulk smashing inwardly (also unhealthy).

Why are Hulk smashing methods considered unhealthy?

Hulk smashing methods are considered unhealthy because they involve getting angry or engaging in self-criticism, which can damage relationships and self-esteem.

How can one tell if someone is climbing the wall or just staring at it?

It can be difficult to tell if someone is climbing the wall or just staring at it from the outside. Often, one must ask or observe closely for signs of emotional struggle or preparation to take action.

What is the difference between 'sitting with the dread' and 'climbing the wall'?

'sitting with the dread' implies a passive state of fear or avoidance, while 'climbing the wall' is an active process of overcoming emotional barriers to complete a task.

How can an outside observer help someone who is climbing their 'Wall of Awful'?

An outside observer can help by recognizing the signs of emotional struggle and providing support or space, being careful not to inadvertently force the person into an unhealthy Hulk smash response.

What is the importance of reframing the act of overcoming the 'Wall of Awful' as 'climbing the wall'?

Reframing the act as 'climbing the wall' is important because it shifts the perspective from a passive state of procrastination to an active effort of overcoming, which can help motivate and encourage progress.