My 3 Biggest Regrets And How They Changed Me

Summary

In this reflective video, Rob Chapman discusses his regrets, emphasizing the importance of learning from the past to grow. He recounts his time at the Guitar Institute, where he wishes he had focused more on his studies instead of distractions. Chapman laments not setting clear goals, leading to burnout, and advises on the importance of recognizing achievements to maintain mental health. He warns against engaging with online haters and shares his regret over not moving to America for career opportunities. His story serves as a cautionary tale for aspiring musicians and a reminder to seize opportunities.

Takeaways

• 🎓 Rob Chapman regrets not focusing more on his studies at the Guitar Institute, where he had the opportunity to learn from top guitarists in England.
• 🕒 He advises that time is precious, especially when you have the luxury to learn and grow, and one should make the most of such opportunities.
• 🎯 Rob emphasizes the importance of setting clear and measurable objectives to avoid burnout and to recognize and sustain success.
• 🤯 He shares his experience of panic attacks and mental health issues due to not setting boundaries and constantly chasing more success.
• 🚫 Rob warns against engaging with haters online, explaining that it's a never-ending cycle and that one should focus on positive interactions instead.
• 🌐 He talks about a missed opportunity to move to America for better career prospects in the music industry, highlighting the fear of change as a barrier.
• 🔄 Rob suggests that the anticipation of doing something can be more painful than just doing it, encouraging taking action despite fear.
• 💡 He reflects on the importance of learning from past experiences and regrets to become a better person and to move forward in life.
• 👥 Rob mentions the influence of social life, like girls, parties, and PlayStation, which distracted him from his studies and goals.
• 💼 He shares his post-education experience of working in an optician, which was not his intended career path, highlighting the consequences of not focusing on studies.
• 🌟 Lastly, Rob encourages viewers to learn from his experiences, hoping to help them avoid similar pitfalls and to have a smoother journey in their own lives.

Q & A

What is Rob Chapman's perspective on regrets?

Rob Chapman believes that looking back at one's history and learning from regrets can make a person better and provide valuable lessons.

Why did Rob Chapman go to London?

Rob Chapman went to London to study at the guitar Institute, which was the first college-affiliated guitar place offering a degree in guitar playing.

What were some of the distractions Rob Chapman faced while studying at the guitar Institute?

Rob was distracted by girls, drinking, takeaway food, parties, social groups, and playing PlayStation.

What was Rob Chapman's first regret regarding his time at the guitar Institute?

His first regret was not focusing enough on his studies and spending more time on leisure activities instead.

How did Rob Chapman's lack of focus impact his immediate future after the guitar Institute?

After the guitar Institute, Rob had to work in an optician's shop making glasses because he hadn't fully capitalized on his learning opportunities.

What is Rob Chapman's advice on setting objectives in one's career?

Rob advises setting clearly defined and measurable objectives to know when to sustain a particular level and avoid burnout.

Why does Rob Chapman suggest not interacting with haters?

Rob believes that haters on the internet are seeking a sense of power and interacting with them fuels their negativity, so it's better to ignore them.

What was the opportunity Rob Chapman regrets not taking?

Rob regrets not moving to America when he had the chance, as he was scared of the change and the unknown.

How does Rob Chapman feel about his current situation despite his regrets?

Rob is happy with where he is now, and he has learned from his past experiences and regrets.

What is Rob Chapman's advice for those who receive negative comments online?

Rob advises not to feed the 'happy wolves' and to focus on the positive interactions, while ignoring or turning a blind eye to the haters.

Outlines

00:00

🎸 Reflecting on Regrets and Learning from Mistakes

Rob Chapman opens by discussing the importance of looking back at one's history while staying focused on the present. Initially, he claimed to have no regrets but soon realized that there were things he would have done differently. His first major regret was during his time at the Guitar Institute, where he had the opportunity to learn from top-tier instructors but allowed distractions like partying and socializing to interfere with his studies. He regrets not dedicating enough time to his craft during this period and had to relearn material later while working at an optician's, taking up valuable time he could have utilized better during his studies.

05:03

📊 The Importance of Setting Measurable Goals

Rob highlights his second regret, which was not setting clear, measurable goals during his career. He explains how achieving success without acknowledging milestones led to burnout and severe mental health issues, including panic attacks and physical symptoms. He emphasizes the necessity of defining objectives to avoid the constant chase for more, which can lead to serious consequences. He advises others to set goals and recognize their achievements to prevent this cycle of burnout.

🚫 Avoiding Interaction with Online Haters

In this segment, Rob discusses the dangers of engaging with online haters. He initially believed that responding kindly to negative comments would diffuse hostility but soon realized that some people thrive on the power that online negativity provides. He now chooses to focus on interacting with positive, supportive followers and advises others to avoid feeding into the negativity. He acknowledges that with a large audience, there will always be haters, but ignoring them is the best strategy.

🇺🇸 Fear of Change: The Opportunity to Move to America

Rob reflects on an opportunity he passed up to move to America early in his career. He was working with Eddie Kramer, a legendary producer, and had the chance to further establish himself in the U.S. music scene. However, he let fear of the unknown, including a different political and healthcare system, prevent him from making the move. Although content with where he is now, he realizes that putting off major decisions can sometimes be more painful than just taking the plunge.

Keywords

💡Regrets

Regrets are feelings of disappointment or sorrow over past actions or decisions. In the video, Rob Chapman discusses how reflecting on regrets can be a valuable tool for personal growth. He mentions several instances, such as not focusing enough during his studies at the Guitar Institute, as key regrets that taught him important life lessons.

💡Focus

Focus refers to the concentration of attention or effort on a particular task or goal. Rob Chapman highlights how a lack of focus during his time at the Guitar Institute led to missed opportunities for growth and learning. He regrets not dedicating more time to his studies and emphasizes the importance of staying focused on the task at hand to avoid similar outcomes.

💡Measurable Objectives

Measurable objectives are clearly defined goals with specific criteria for success. In the video, Rob regrets not setting clear and measurable objectives for his career, which resulted in burnout. He suggests that without these, one can endlessly chase success without recognizing when to stop or when goals have been achieved, leading to mental and physical health issues.

💡Mental Health

Mental health refers to a person's emotional, psychological, and social well-being. Rob speaks about his struggle with mental health, including panic attacks and stress, as a result of continuously taking on more work without recognizing his limits. He shares how setting clear objectives and knowing when to stop can help prevent mental health issues.

💡Haters

Haters are individuals who express negative or hostile criticism, often online. Rob advises against engaging with haters, as their negativity often stems from their own issues and cannot be resolved through interaction. He emphasizes that it is more productive to focus on positive supporters and avoid feeding into the negativity.

💡Guitar Institute

The Guitar Institute is a renowned music school where Rob Chapman studied guitar. He reflects on his time there as a pivotal point in his life, where he had access to incredible teachers but failed to fully utilize the opportunity. The Guitar Institute represents a place of learning and growth, but also missed potential due to a lack of focus.

💡Success

Success refers to the achievement of an aim or goal. In the video, Rob warns that achieving success without recognizing it can lead to burnout. He emphasizes the importance of defining success clearly, so it becomes easier to know when to stop chasing it and maintain a sustainable level of achievement.

💡Panic Attacks

Panic attacks are sudden episodes of intense fear or anxiety. Rob shares his experience of having panic attacks during a time when he was overworked and not managing his mental health. This serves as a warning about the dangers of not setting boundaries and pushing oneself too hard.

💡Opportunity

Opportunity refers to a set of circumstances that makes it possible to do something. Rob regrets not taking the opportunity to move to America, which he believes could have opened doors for his music career. The concept of opportunity in the video highlights the fear of missing out on potentially life-changing experiences.

💡Fear

Fear is an emotional response to perceived threats or challenges. Rob mentions fear as the reason he didn’t move to America, even though it could have advanced his career. He reflects on how fear can hold people back from pursuing important opportunities and how overcoming it is essential for growth.

Highlights

Rob Chapman reflects on how regrets can offer valuable lessons if you learn from them.

At 18, Rob had an incredible opportunity to study at the Guitar Institute in London, but he regrets not focusing enough on his studies.

He discovered distractions like girls, parties, and video games while at the Guitar Institute, which led to him missing out on essential learning moments.

After graduating, Rob had to take up a job as an optician, making glasses, and realized he had not utilized his time at the Guitar Institute fully.

It took Rob a year to catch up on what he should have learned at the Guitar Institute, something he considers one of his biggest regrets.

His second regret is not setting clear, measurable objectives for his career early on, which led to overworking and burnout.

Rob warns that continual chasing of success without recognizing achievements can lead to mental and physical health problems.

He faced panic attacks, heart palpitations, and high levels of stress due to the pressures of his growing career, particularly on YouTube.

Rob’s third regret is interacting with haters online, realizing that it only fuels their behavior. Instead, he now focuses on engaging with positive supporters.

He advises fellow content creators to ignore negativity from online trolls and instead focus on people who bring positivity.

Rob reflects on an opportunity he had to move to America but didn’t, largely due to fear of leaving the familiar for the unknown.

He believes that moving to America at the time would have helped him establish himself better in the music industry.

Rob stresses that putting off big decisions can often be more painful than taking the leap.

Despite his regrets, Rob emphasizes the importance of learning from past mistakes and moving forward.

He hopes to continue learning and improving without facing similar regrets in the future, maintaining a positive outlook.

Transcripts

[Music]

greetings I'm Rob Chapman let's talk

about some things that I regret I think

it's always important to look back at

your history although maintaining a

focus on the now because all we have is

memories now and

Imagination but I think if you can learn

from regrets accept them and then move

forward it makes you a better person and

it gives you lessons that are really

valuable I recently did one of those

Instagram polls where I said ask me

anything am and one of them was any

regrets and I just kind of reflex wrote

nah nothing I regret nothing and then

posted it and I thought actually there

are a few things I would have done

differently when I was 18 I had the

incredible opportunity of going to

London and studying at what was then

called the guitar Institute so the

guitar Institute was the first you know

real um College Affiliated guitar place

where you could go and get you know a

degree in playing the guitar although

actually the degree course launched uh

the month after I finished doing a

one-year diploma and I went to this

place so full of energy and enthusiasm

and passion and the teachers were

unbelievable I had sha Baxter who's if

you if you know you know uh David

kilminster Ian Scott Barry lton I had

the the best of the best in England at

the time teaching me

me uh how to play guitar man it was hard

because I mean I could play but I wasn't

good and I had a lot of bad habits in

particular with the way that I picked

and they turned me from alterate into

economy and hybrid which was a brilliant

Journey anyway at the same time as going

to the guitar Institute I discovered

girls and drink and takeaway food and

parties

and social groups and hanging out and

all this kind of stuff

PlayStation and I wish I had spent more

time focusing on my studies at the

guitar Institute and less time uh

turning up late to class not learning

the live performance Workshop um selling

off bits of gear so I could go to the

Kebab shop or all this stupid stuff that

as a kid you just don't really think

about it's just impulsive you know

reflexive

actions if only I'd spent more time

focusing because when it finished I got

all of the class notes and then I

realized I've got to get a job what am I

going to do and I had to get you know

job in ad Opticians and I was making

glasses I was the guy in the lap coat

manufacturing spectacles and I thought

man this isn't kind of how it was

supposed to pan

out and I got all the notes and I

learned every single note like had a

empty box here box for the night here

and I went on my desk learn that learn

learn learn put it in the empty box and

it took me a year to go through what I

should have learned at college so my

first regret is not focusing enough on

the task at hand when I was when I had

the luxury of time to learn anyone

that's a parent with a job will

understand what I'm talking about being

able to have an hour to yourself to

learn something is a luck y it really is

Regret number

two not setting a clearly defined and

measurable

objective defining making it what is Rob

Chapman going to do what does he want to

do with the

guitar now there's a reason that this is

a problem because if you get some

success and you don't mark it don't

recognize it you are continually chasing

and people that continually Chase burn

out I ended up with panic attacks and

and mental health you know I needed to

take a break man I mean I had heart

palpitations and all sorts of stresses

and

strains um when I was getting sort of

two and a half million views a month

demonstrating for anderton's to man

Guitar

Center you

know this whole journey took its toll

because I didn't recognize the point

when I needed to stop taking on

more and I'm not saying this as a humbl

brag I'm saying it as a warning because

when you when you make money when you

get some successes if you don't

recognize them the ceiling will kill you

it will crush you so it's important to

know how much you want of everything

you're after so that you can say that's

enough and when you reach that that's

enough Point try and stay there don't

continually

hunt um because if you do the downside

is mental health issues which become

physical health issues which result in

all sorts of problems and then you crash

down and then you need to recover before

you can go up again and it's an never

ending cycle so setting those objectives

it's not just like oh it's a fun thing

you should do you should probably write

in a piece of paper I want to sell an

album and I want to tour you really

should do it so that you know when you

get there so that you know when to

sustain a particular level number

three interacting in any way with

haters and let me explain why because

the there were times when I really felt

like I can kill them with kindness you

know I would reply with like listen man

I don't know you you don't know me if we

met at a pub probably we'd just start

chatting and everything would be fine

but because there's you know a screen in

between between us and you think you've

heard something about me that's probably

just made up you you're coming at me

with with an aggressive thing and and

why don't we just chill out and then the

thing is you quickly learn that people

who have a tendency to hate on the

internet um do so because it gives them

a sense of power and they won't stop

doing that because then they lose that

sense of power so it's a NeverEnding in

cycle for somebody who has gone far

enough that they want to aggressively

hate on people on the internet I mean

it's it's an odd thing I often say to my

friends or people that are getting into

YouTube and they ask me for advice I say

let me ask you a question do you ever a

comment on other people's videos and

they and most of them say no I just like

watch the video and and hit a like or if

I do it's like you know something

positive and I say yeah you need to

think about the kind of person who

negatively comments because you don't

know you don't know what they're going

through they might have lost a family

member they might be 5 years old they

they could have any number of issues

going on that you don't understand and

you can't help you can't change any of

that from behind a screen so don't

interact so I feed the happy wolves I

always chat if I can to the nice people

that support and a part of this family

and I just ignore um or what or just you

know turn a blind eye to the people that

hate and you will always always have

haters because in a sea of billions of

people some of them are going to hate

you and that's completely fine man I

mean you know I am a kind of vibe that

some people will like and some people

won't Whatever okay last regret this is

a bit of a weird one but there was a

time in my career where I was given the

opportunity to move to America I was um

doing some work with a guy called Eddie

Kramer who is a phenomenal I mean he was

like a father figure to me producer

engineer for Jimmy hendris Stones Led

Zeppelin did some Beatle stuff what with

Stevi just

mindblowing and I'd recorded with Eddie

uh three times twice at Abby Road once

in North America at Studio there and I

kind of thought I should move to America

and there was an opportunity but I

didn't and I didn't do it because I was

afraid I was scared of moving from

England to a different country you know

different political medical system and

yet the majority of the industry that I

work within is American uh the majority

of people that follow me are Americans

and I think had I moved at that time I

probably would have found it easier to

establish myself as a live player get

more into the session circuit and do a

couple of other things that I kind of

wanted to achieve at the time I didn't

do it because I was afraid and I I I

soon sort of

realized

that how do I put this articulately when

you've got a thing that you you need to

do the putting it off is almost more

painful than the just doing it do you

know what I mean I should just have

moved to America at the time but anyway

I'm very happy where I am now I hope

you've enjoyed this I tried to learn

from all of these uh little issues and

bumps in the road and I hopefully have a

long road ahead of me without bumps have

an amazing day thank you for watching

chap us out