Two Solutions to Anxiety

Summary

Dr. K discusses anxiety as a natural brain function designed to predict and warn us of potential dangers. He explains that anxiety is future-focused and often stems from personal insecurities. The smarter we are, the more potential problems our minds can foresee, exacerbating anxiety. Dr. K suggests that while anxiety can be beneficial, it can also be restrictive and lead to overcompensation. He advises focusing on the present to alleviate anxiety and building confidence to face uncertainties without the need for control.

Takeaways

• 📅 Today marks the launch of a coaching program that has shown significant reductions in depression and anxiety among clients.
• 🧠 Anxiety is the brain's ability to predict danger and warn us about it, allowing us to take corrective actions to prevent negative outcomes.
• 🔮 Anxiety involves thinking about the future and considering the potential negative consequences of our actions.
• 🤔 The mind's worry is a predictive mechanism that anticipates problems and tries to prevent them, which is generally a beneficial function.
• 🚫 Anxiety often focuses on personal insecurities and tries to find solutions to avoid negative outcomes, which can lead to restrictive behaviors.
• 💡 Smarter individuals may experience more severe anxiety because their cognitive abilities allow them to make more complex predictions and identify potential problems.
• 🔄 Anxiety can create a cycle where trying to control future uncertainties leads to overcompensation and can exacerbate the issue or create self-fulfilling prophecies.
• 🚫 Avoidance and over-preparation are common strategies used to manage anxiety, but they can lead to a more restricted and less fulfilling life.
• 🌟 Confidence is key to overcoming anxiety; it involves believing in one's ability to handle the unknown and is developed by facing and overcoming challenges.
• 🧘‍♂️ Mindfulness and focusing on the present can help alleviate anxiety since it is fundamentally a future-oriented mental state.

Q & A

What is the primary function of anxiety according to the script?

Anxiety is the brain's capacity to predict danger and warn us about it, giving us the opportunity to anticipate problems and take corrective actions to prevent bad outcomes.

How does the script suggest anxiety is related to our future?

Anxiety involves our mind looking into the future, examining and analyzing things, and warning us about potential dangers so that we can take action to prevent negative outcomes.

What are some examples of anxiety mentioned in the script?

Examples of anxiety include worrying about looking stupid at a party, fearing failure in a test, or being afraid of job interview rejection.

Why does the script say that anxiety is not always a bad thing?

The script suggests that anxiety isn't always bad because it's a natural response that helps us prepare for and potentially avoid negative outcomes.

How does the script explain the connection between intelligence and anxiety?

The script posits that the smarter a person is, the more computing power they have to make predictions, which can lead to more potential problems for the mind to worry about, thus potentially increasing anxiety.

What does the script suggest as a common response to anxiety?

A common response to anxiety is to try to remove uncertainty by controlling future outcomes, which can involve avoiding situations or overcompensating to prevent negative consequences.

What are the potential negative consequences of trying to control anxiety as described in the script?

Attempting to control anxiety can lead to a restricted life, missed opportunities, and even being taken advantage of by others, as it may cause overcompensation or avoidance behaviors.

How does the script propose dealing with anxiety?

The script suggests dealing with anxiety by bringing the mind to the present, focusing on the task at hand, and developing confidence to face insecurities and uncertainties.

What is the role of confidence in overcoming anxiety as per the script?

Confidence plays a crucial role in overcoming anxiety because it involves believing in one's ability to handle the unknown, which reduces the need to control future uncertainties.

Why does the script advise against using substances or distractions as solutions for anxiety?

While substances or distractions might temporarily alleviate anxiety by focusing the mind on the present, they do not address the root cause and can be harmful or lead to dependency.

Outlines

00:00

😌 Understanding Anxiety and Its Impacts

The paragraph introduces a coaching program that has shown to reduce depression and anxiety, although it's not specifically designed for these conditions. It delves into the nature of anxiety, explaining it as the brain's ability to predict and warn about potential dangers. Anxiety is described as a future-oriented mental state that allows individuals to anticipate problems and take corrective actions. Examples such as worrying about social situations or academic performance are given to illustrate how the mind projects negative outcomes. The paragraph emphasizes that anxiety is not inherently bad but a natural function of the brain that can be helpful when managed properly.

05:00

🧠 The Cognitive Aspects of Anxiety

This section explores how intelligence can exacerbate anxiety. It posits that smarter individuals, with greater cognitive abilities, may experience more intense anxiety due to their capacity to compute and predict a wider range of potential future problems. The paragraph discusses the 'if-then' statements that anxiety often involves, where individuals anticipate negative outcomes based on their actions. Strategies to cope with anxiety, such as overcompensation and avoidance, are mentioned, along with the idea that these strategies can sometimes be counterproductive, leading to a restricted lifestyle and even enabling others to exploit one's anxiety.

10:01

🔄 Addressing Anxiety Through Present Focus and Confidence Building

The paragraph discusses strategies to alleviate anxiety by focusing on the present moment, which is posited as incompatible with the future-oriented nature of anxiety. Examples such as engaging in activities that demand present focus are given to illustrate how anxiety can dissipate when one is fully immersed in the current experience. The paragraph also emphasizes the importance of building confidence to face uncertainties, which is key to overcoming anxiety. It suggests that avoiding challenges to control anxiety can hinder the development of confidence, which is necessary to face future uncertainties without the need for control.

15:03

🌟 Conquering Anxiety Through Mindfulness and Self-assurance

The final paragraph summarizes the discussion on anxiety, highlighting the importance of focusing on the present and developing confidence to manage insecurities effectively. It reiterates that anxiety thrives on future-oriented thinking and uncertainty, and by bringing the mind to the present and building self-confidence, individuals can reduce anxiety's hold on their lives. The paragraph concludes with an encouraging note, suggesting that with understanding and the right strategies, it's possible to conquer anxiety and live a less restrictive and more fulfilling life.

Keywords

💡Anxiety

Anxiety is defined as a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome. In the context of the video, anxiety is described as the brain's capacity to predict danger and warn us about it, allowing us to take corrective actions to prevent bad outcomes. The video uses examples such as worrying about looking stupid at a party or failing a test to illustrate how anxiety is the mind's way of looking into the future and anticipating problems.

💡Depression

Depression, while not the main focus of the video, is mentioned as a condition that the coaching program isn't designed to treat, but clients experience a reduction in. It is a mood disorder characterized by persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a lack of interest or pleasure in activities. The script implies that addressing anxiety can have a positive impact on related mental health issues like depression.

💡Predictive Capacity

Predictive capacity refers to the brain's ability to anticipate future events or problems based on current information. The video explains that anxiety is rooted in this predictive capacity, where the mind looks into the future, examines potential scenarios, and warns us about possible dangers. This is exemplified in the script by the fear of negative consequences such as rejection or failure.

💡Insecurity

Insecurity is a feeling of uncertainty or doubt about one's self-worth, capabilities, or acceptance by others. The video discusses how anxiety often revolves around personal insecurities, such as fearing one's likability or competence. It is used to explain how anxiety focuses on potential negative outcomes related to these insecurities, like being afraid of offending people at a party.

💡Uncertainty

Uncertainty is the state of being unsure or lacking definite information about something. In the video, uncertainty is highlighted as a key factor that fuels anxiety, as the mind tries to predict and control outcomes to alleviate the fear associated with the unknown. The script mentions that anxiety is often about trying to remove this uncertainty to prevent negative future events.

💡Overcompensation

Overcompensation is an attempt to make up for a perceived deficiency or weakness by excessive actions or behaviors. The video uses overcompensation as an example of how people with anxiety might try to control future outcomes, such as apologizing excessively to avoid offending someone, which can paradoxically lead to more problems.

💡Avoidance

Avoidance is the act of keeping away from or not dealing with something. The script explains that people with anxiety often avoid situations that trigger their anxiety as a way to control potential negative outcomes. For instance, avoiding a party to prevent the possibility of saying something dumb and being judged.

💡Confidence

Confidence is the feeling or belief that one can rely on oneself or have faith in one's abilities. The video suggests that building confidence is a way to overcome anxiety, as it allows individuals to face uncertainties without the need to control every aspect of their future. Confidence is presented as a countermeasure to insecurity, which is often at the root of anxiety.

💡Present Focus

Present focus means being fully engaged and aware of the current moment. The video emphasizes that anxiety is a future-focused state of mind, and by shifting focus to the present, one can reduce or eliminate feelings of anxiety. Engaging in activities that require present focus, like studying or socializing, can help alleviate anxiety by preventing the mind from dwelling on future worries.

💡Self-fulfilling Prophecy

A self-fulfilling prophecy is a belief that leads to behaviors that cause the belief to come true. The video describes how anxiety can create a self-fulfilling prophecy, such as when someone is so afraid that others don't like them that they over-apologize, which may actually cause others to dislike them. This concept illustrates how anxiety can perpetuate itself and exacerbate the issues it is meant to protect against.

Highlights

The coaching program is live and has shown a 15-20% reduction in depression and a 15-16% reduction in anxiety among clients.

Anxiety is essentially the brain's capacity to predict danger and warn us about it, allowing us to take corrective actions to prevent bad outcomes.

Anxiety often involves thoughts about the future, usually associated with negative consequences, as the mind makes predictions of bad outcomes in hopes of preventing them.

Anxiety is not inherently bad; it's a natural function of the brain meant to help us anticipate and respond to potential problems.

Anxiety often focuses on insecurities, such as fears of looking stupid or offending others, reflecting a lack of confidence in one's own capabilities.

Anxiety can involve thoughts about past actions, but it ultimately concerns future consequences of those past events.

People with higher intelligence may experience worse anxiety due to their greater ability to compute potential future problems.

Common responses to anxiety include attempts to control uncertainty, such as avoiding situations or overcompensating, which can restrict life and cause further suffering.

Avoiding situations that trigger anxiety can provide short-term relief but often leads to long-term restrictions and missed opportunities.

Anxiety can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy where efforts to control outcomes, such as excessive apologizing, can create or worsen the feared outcomes.

Anxiety is fundamentally about uncertainty, and people often try to alleviate it by controlling the future or avoiding potential negative outcomes.

To reduce anxiety, it's crucial to focus the mind on the present; anxiety cannot exist when the mind is not thinking about the future.

Engaging in activities, such as taking a bath, playing games, or performing, can help bring the mind to the present and reduce anxiety.

Building confidence is key to overcoming anxiety; it involves facing uncertainties rather than avoiding them, which allows for personal growth and reduced anxiety over time.

Developing confidence in handling uncertainty can shift the focus from controlling outcomes to accepting that one can manage whatever comes, which can alleviate anxiety.

Transcripts

today is november 9th which means our

coaching program is now live

even though our program isn't designed

to treat depression or anxiety our

clients experience about a 15 to 20

reduction in depression and about a 15

to 16

reduction in anxiety for more

information or to sign up check out the

link below

hey guys dr k here now i want to talk a

little bit about anxiety and hopefully

help you all understand a little bit

more about

what is anxiety how does it actually

function

and once we understand what it is and

what it's supposed to be doing we can

start to get a sense of how to overcome

it

so anxiety is essentially our brain's

capacity to predict

danger and warn us about it it gives us

the opportunity to look into the future

see or anticipate problems therefore we

can take corrective actions now

to prevent bad outcomes that's

essentially what anxiety is

consider being worried about looking

stupid at a party

or afraid that you're going to fail a

test or being afraid that you're going

to get rejected from a job interview

all of these things are examples of our

mind looking into the future

examining things analyzing things and

warning us about danger so that we can

do something about it

and so essentially what happens when our

mind worries is it's making predictions

of bad outcomes in the future

in a hope that it can warn us about it

we can kind of do something to correct

or prevent it so anxiety is essentially

our ability to see

problems and consider consequences

anxiety is when our mind has thoughts of

the future

usually associated with negative

consequences it involves predicting the

impact of current

actions into the future and specifically

how

painful the future will be if we in a

particular way now

we tend to talk about anxiety like an

illness but if we look at the

fundamental function of worry

let's not forget that most of the time

worry isn't a bad thing it's actually a

good thing we're wired for it it's

something that our brain is telling us

to

to do so let's try to unpack anxiety a

little bit further and we're going to go

through

two examples kind of as we sort of

analyze anxiety

and those two examples are going to be

being afraid of looking dumb

or offending people at a party or being

afraid that what we're going to do

poorly on a test

so the first thing that we need to look

at is both of these examples

involve you right so anxiety involves

thinking about you and the consequences

that

you may or may not take usually

you start with yourself and you look

into the future the reason you do this

is you try to figure out all the

possible

solutions to prevent bad outcomes

and so anxiety tends to focus on some

kind of insecurity

oftentimes with you but it could be an

insecurity about someone else

your sense of your own capability or

what you're not good at

so in the case of looking dumb or

offending people you may not have

confidence in yourself as a person

somewhere along the way you discover

that people may not like you very much

or that the only time they like you is

if you kind of put on a particular mask

or you put on a show

and that they they like that version of

you but not the real version of you

you may believe that you're just not as

as charismatic as other people

you may find yourself comparing yourself

to a lot of other people

but at the end of the day there's an

insecurity about your likability as a

person

in the case of studying you may be

afraid of failing or

fear that you haven't studied enough you

may recognize that other people can be

confident once again there's going to be

comparison there

but something just makes you worried

that you're not going to do good enough

or you're afraid of doing good enough or

you're afraid of being good enough

sometimes people consider anxiety as

stemming from the past

now i sort of say that anxiety is the

future focused mind

but people will say but i have anxiety

about the past let's just tunnel down

into that tangent for a second

people will say oh i messed up last

night and if people

you know people are gonna dislike me

today because i was dumb

yesterday at the party or yesterday in

class i asked a stupid question

so now everyone is gonna think i'm

stupid and so they pause for a second

and they kind of look back and they say

oh i made a mistake yesterday i'm

anxious about that

but if you really look at it what

they're doing is they're looking at an

event in the past

and they're still projecting the

consequences into the future

so all anxiety involves looking into the

future

and even though you can be worried about

something that happened in the past if

you

really pay attention what you're what

you're really looking at is you're

worried about the consequences

that could evolve from actions that

happen in the past

so we see that anxiety is about

predicting possible problems that

arise and now we get into another

interesting tidbit about anxiety is that

since anxiety is about making

predictions the smarter you are the more

computing power you have to make

predictions

and this is really really unfortunate

because what i find time and time again

as a clinician

is that the smarter you are the worse or

more crippling your anxiety can be

the more that your mind is able to

compute potential futures the more

potential problems that your mind will

tell you to worry about

and so it's really unfortunate but

generally speaking the smarter you are

the worse your anxiety is and so now

that we kind of sort of

dug into a little bit about the you

component of anxiety

let's look at what the mind does with

responding to anxiety

so what does the mind do when we

actually experience anxiety

how do we deal with these worries in the

future the short answer is that

uncertainty is really frightening so

what we try to do is to remove the

uncertainty

most of anxiety involves an if then sort

of statement so we see the then portion

so if i say this then people are going

to think this right if i go to the party

and i speak up people are going to

dislike me

if i don't study enough i'm going to

fail the test and so

it's kind of like an if then statement

and so what we try to do is we try to

fix

the then right we try to alleviate

our anxiety by essentially controlling

something in the future

and we may think a little bit about

overcompensating

so let's take the example of you know i

cracked a joke about someone and maybe

they're upset

by it let me just apologize just in case

even if you

didn't say anything offensive a lot of

times people with with anxiety are so

concerned about it that they'll

overcompensate

and try to control that future in the

event that this person is offended

let me remove that uncertainty and just

apologize just in case

the other thing that we try to do to

sort of control the future

or remove the uncertainty is to not

trigger it at all right so if we avoid

the situation entirely

then we can control any potential

negative outcomes that happen

so if i don't even show up at the party

i can't misspeak

i won't people won't think i'm stupid

and so how about i just don't go

i can control that worry completely by

avoiding the situation

entirely and for people who are worried

about failing a test

they'll study extra hard because we're

they're so afraid of failing

and so they kind of do as much as they

can to control the uncertainty of the

future

by sort of changing something in the

here and now

and this may sound like sort of a good

thing in a sense right like if i'm

studying

extra for a test like isn't that a good

thing the problem is that oftentimes our

solutions for anxiety our desire to

exert control

is very restrictive and actually causes

us to suffer

so if we think about the social example

like sure if i don't go to the party

you know no one can think i'm dumb

because i'm not there but then i never

go to parties

and so i actually narrow the scope of my

life and i start to restrict

the kind of things that i can do and

even in the case of studying we're so

paranoid that that

we're going to fail a test that we skip

parties or social events or don't hang

out with friends

or we stay up way too late or we wake up

way early in the morning

we miss out on a lot of fun that you can

have when you're a student

by studying way too hard and this is the

really damnable thing which is that

anxiety oftentimes has positive benefits

let's not forget that anxiety is

actually there for a reason and the

reason it exists is because generally

speaking it helps us out

so for example if you look at medical

students

a lot of medical students have high

levels of anxiety and that's part of the

reason they got into medical school in

the first place

because when everyone was out partying

they were the ones who were on a friday

night

at 10 p.m in the library studying for a

test

and so even though it the event anxiety

could be

advantageous for us at times generally

speaking we want to be really careful

because if we give into it and we try to

control those

uncertainties it actually restricts us

or causes us to suffer

even though it may give us some kind of

material advantage in life

the other issue is that oftentimes with

anxiety since we're so

concerned we actually end up over

compensating which can make the problem

worse

right so if we're concerned that people

don't like us and we apologize to

profusely

then what can happen is we can actually

be kind of annoying and make people not

like us because we're afraid

or we're trying to fix the fact that

we're they don't like us that creates a

really dangerous loop

i'm afraid someone doesn't like me let

me apologize

since i'm apologizing too much and

inappropriately

i annoy them and then they end up not

liking me right it's this

weird self-fulfilling prophecy or

vicious cycle

and so it's our solution to the anxiety

that actually causes our suffering

makes our life a little bit more

restricted and actually creates problems

and the last really really sad and

unfortunate thing about anxiety is that

sometimes if we give into it other

people can take advantage of our

insecurity

so if you if you are super anxious

sometimes you can behave a little bit

like a doormat right you're apologizing

all the time

and sometimes you're going to run across

people who never want to

admit that they did anything wrong and

so they're more than happy to have

someone around

who is always apologizing for

things that aren't their fault makes it

a super convenient bearing

so it can be really dangerous because

sometimes our anxiety

results in people taking advantage of us

and so how do we deal with this right so

sure we've got this issue of okay

anxiety is our mind

our predictive capability focusing

on particular problems in the future

based on our on

a sense of uncertainty and insecurity

usually in ourselves

so what do we do about that right so i'm

insecure in myself and i'm predicting

all these problems and i'm a smart

person so i

make a lot of predictions and then i try

to control that uncertainty by

avoiding parties or restricting what i

do so how do we break out of this what

do we do about it

the first thing to understand is that

anxiety is literally the mind thinking

in the future

if we can bring the mind to the present

it's it's literally impossible to be

anxious i know it sounds completely

crazy

but if you look at the experience of

anxiety your mind

is thinking about the future and so

anytime you're thinking about the

present or focused in the present

you can't be anxious good examples of

this are like let's say you take a bath

or like a nice hot shower

and if you're immersed in the experience

of taking the shower or the bath

you won't be thinking about other things

and you can't experience

anxiety and we deal with anxiety in all

kinds of ways by bringing our mind to

the present some of these can actually

be harmful but we can

see this in things like games or

watching videos or watching tv shows or

movies

or even substances when we play video

games for example like our mind stops

thinking

in that future and starts focusing on

the game and then what happens to our

anxiety it melts away

if we get engrossed in a tv show or

something like that

then once again we're not thinking in

the future and we're not thinking about

ourselves we're thinking about something

else

and so the anxiety falls away sometimes

people will use substances like

marijuana or alcohol and those certainly

help with anxiety as well

and how do they help with it they sort

of keep our mind it's a biological

substance that helps our mind focus a

little bit more in the present

right and so i'm not advising that these

things are actually good in fact i think

all three of these are poor choices to

deal with anxiety

but let's try to map out a full spectrum

of how we do deal with anxiety and then

we can sort of

start to shift gears a little bit

towards healthier methods of coping with

anxiety

so the key thing still remains that

anxiety literally cannot exist

if you're not thinking about the future

and

a good example of this is sometimes

people will have you know anxiety about

let's say going to a party or failing a

test

and if you really look at people's

experience once they sit down and they

start to study right once you get

engrossed in the act of studying

then the anxiety sort of melts away once

you actually show up to the party and

you stop kind of thinking about it and

you start engaging with people

for those of you that are a little bit

lucky and can focus in those

experiences then the anxiety disappears

right we can also use like stage anxiety

or performance anxiety

is a good example that you're really

really worried when you go up on stage

but once you actually get up on stage

hopefully you start to feel way better

another great example of that is jumping

into a cold swimming pool

where before you jump into the water oh

my god oh my god it's gonna be so cold

it's gonna be so cold it's gonna be so

cold it's paralyzing you

but once you actually jump into the

water generally speaking the anxiety was

far more paralytic

than the reality of jumping into the

water

and so if we can sort of engage in the

activity

then the anxiety will actually start to

melt away

so the second thing to kind of think

about so just to summarize you know if

we can bring our mind to the present if

we can actually go ahead

and jump in the water if we can engage

in an activity

if we can move away from the future if

we can train our mind

to focus in the present then anxiety

literally cannot exist

staggering okay the next thing to think

about

is that remember anxiety is rooted in

some kind of insecurity

right so if we think about the cases in

which we're not anxious

so you may not be anxious hanging out

with your dog well

why is that it's because you know you

have confidence that your dog likes you

as a person

if you think about even like playing a

competitive video game

why aren't you anxious when you go into

the game it's because you have

confidence in your skill

in the video game even that you may win

or you may lose but you're kind of

confident with your ability to face that

uncertainty

it's kind of weird right because in a

game you don't really know whether

you're going to win you don't know

whether you're going to lose but you

have faith in yourself or your skill in

the game

and so therefore you can face that

uncertainty

so the second big way to focus on or fix

anxiety is not just to kind of bring the

mind to the present but it's to focus on

the insecurity itself

and what do i mean by that it's to

develop confidence

so let's think about what confidence

really means

so confidence is literally believing

that you have the capacity

to deal with the unknown and

let's kind of think about that for a

second right because if we think about

how anxiety functions

normally what we do is there's

uncertainty in the future

and so what we try to do is we try to

control that uncertainty right

we don't face the uncertainty we try to

remove the uncertainty

and so every time that you remove the

uncertainty you

lose the chance to build confidence

because confidence comes from

when you face something and overcoming

the challenge not

taking the challenge away and so a lot

of our solutions to our anxiety

about controlling our future actually

prevent us from developing the

confidence that we need to really

overcome anxiety

and i know this sounds absolutely crazy

but when we start to control

certain circumstances of our life we

actually make our anxiety worse

because we decrease our confidence

because we're never actually facing

anything

we just avoid playing the game entirely

and so the other big solution really is

to

sort of learn how to develop some

confidence and we can go into more

detail with that down the road

but essentially resolve that personal

insecurity that you have um and then as

you resolve that personal insecurity

you're able to face

uncertainty without needing to control

it

and when you don't need to control your

life then your life becomes

less restrictive and you become more

free

so to summarize anxiety is essentially

the future focused mind

that revolves around a particular

insecurity

and the smarter you are the more

problems you begin to see

out in the future and generally speaking

what people do with anxiety is they

they try to distract themselves or they

try to control

their future they try to remove

uncertainty from the equation

and so generally speaking what we want

to do is be really really careful

because a lot of our solutions

for anxiety actually make our anxiety

worse

and what we want to wind up doing

instead is actually learn how to focus

our mind in the present

right so if we can bring our mind to the

task at hand

then anxiety literally can't exist

because anxiety by definition is us

thinking about the future

so you can unplug into anxiety entirely

by focusing on the present

the second thing that you can do is

develop confidence

in relation to your insecurities and

what that

helps us do is the more confident we

become the more that we can face the

uncertainty of anxiety

because remember anxiety is if then

statements if happens then what am i

going to do

if this happens then what am i going to

do this happens in what i'm going to do

and if you become confident yourself

you're like okay if that happens

i'll handle it if this happens we'll

cross that bridge when we come to it

and if i offend someone and they don't

like me well then they don't like me and

if i did something wrong i'll apologize

and if i didn't then no big deal

not everyone has to like me terrifying

thoughts for someone

with anxiety but our goal here is to try

to help you guys learn a little bit more

about

anxiety and a little bit more about how

to develop these solutions

so that you can ultimately conquer it

and it doesn't have to plague you

all the time so i hope that was helpful

thanks for listening

and adios from dr k

you