Sexuality Education | Al Vernacchio | TEDxWakeForestU

Summary

The speaker challenges societal views on sex and sexuality, advocating for a healthier perspective. They critique the 'disaster model' and 'porn model' of sex, proposing instead a nourishment-based model that treats sexuality as a natural and integral part of humanity. The speaker also addresses 'penis arrogance' and the need for vulva awareness, encouraging a broader and more inclusive definition of 'having sex' that encompasses consent and pleasure, not just mechanical acts. This talk promotes a vision of sexuality that fosters equality, connection, and positive self-image.

Takeaways

• 🌟 Sexuality is a fundamental aspect of humanity that should be approached with honesty and confidence.
• 🤔 The 'disaster model' of sex views it as something shameful and dangerous, promoting fear and guilt.
• 🎭 The 'porn model' perpetuates myths that everything leads to sex and that sex is disconnected from the rest of life.
• 🍽️ A healthier perspective is to see sexuality as a form of nourishment, essential for our well-being.
• 🧠 Changing our 'bottom-line beliefs' about sex can lead to more positive attitudes and behaviors.
• 🔍 A thought experiment is used to reveal personal attitudes towards sex, highlighting individual reactions to sexual stimuli.
• 🚹🚺 Revising genital expectations can reduce 'penis arrogance' and promote a more respectful view of all genitalia.
• 🌱 Encouraging 'penis pride' in a healthy way can empower men without demeaning women or promoting harmful stereotypes.
• 🌈 Recognizing and respecting the diversity of genitalia and sexual orientations is crucial for inclusive sexuality education.
• 💬 Redefining 'having sex' to include consensual activities aimed at pleasure challenges narrow and often heteronormative definitions.
• 🌎 Viewing sexuality as a social justice issue promotes equality, connection, and a more loving world.

Q & A

What is the main issue discussed in the script regarding American attitudes towards sex?

The script discusses the issue of sexual repression and obsession in American society, where sex is often viewed as dirty or shameful, leading to a lack of open discussion and exploration of sexuality.

How does the speaker suggest that advertising and media have contributed to the confusion around sex?

The speaker suggests that advertising and media have contributed to the confusion by using sexual innuendo to sell products and by presenting sexualized images and scenarios, which can create unrealistic expectations and further the objectification of sex.

What is the 'disaster model' of sex mentioned in the script?

The 'disaster model' is a prevalent belief that views sex as a disaster waiting to happen, associated with shame, guilt, fear, and the potential for negative consequences such as STDs and lifelong misery.

What are the two myths about sex that the 'porn model' perpetuates according to the script?

The 'porn model' perpetuates two myths: 1) Everything in life leads to sex, and 2) The sex portrayed is disconnected from the rest of life and personal relationships.

How does the speaker propose we should view sex and sexuality in a healthier way?

The speaker proposes viewing sex and sexuality as a form of nourishment, something natural, normal, and necessary that can be used to positively feed our bodies, hearts, minds, and spirits.

What is the significance of the 'thought experiment' with the alphabet letters in the script?

The 'thought experiment' is used to gauge people's immediate and gut reactions to sexual words or phrases, revealing their underlying beliefs about sex and prompting them to reflect on these beliefs.

Why does the speaker discuss the concept of 'penis arrogance' in the script?

The speaker discusses 'penis arrogance' to highlight how societal attitudes towards male genitalia can lead to problematic behaviors such as sexual assault, homophobia, and a restrictive definition of manhood.

What is the 'missing genitals' story meant to illustrate in the script?

The 'missing genitals' story is meant to illustrate the varying levels of familiarity and comfort people have with their own genitalia, and to challenge societal norms and expectations around genitalia, particularly regarding gender and sexual identity.

How does the speaker suggest we should redefine the phrase 'having sex'?

The speaker suggests redefining 'having sex' as consensual activity designed to bring sexual pleasure and satisfaction to the people involved, rather than being limited to specific acts like vaginal intercourse.

Why is the speaker's approach to sexuality education considered progressive?

The speaker's approach is considered progressive because it advocates for comprehensive, open, and honest discussions about sexuality, aiming to challenge and change societal norms and beliefs that are harmful or limiting.

What is the speaker's ultimate goal in teaching sexuality education?

The speaker's ultimate goal is to help create a world where sexuality is seen as a natural and normal part of human life, used to foster connection, equality, and understanding, rather than as a source of power and control.