Intellectually Stimulating and DEEP Conversations with WOMEN DESTROYS ATTRACTION WHEN DATING

Casey Zander
20 Feb 202411:46

Summary

TLDRIn this video, the speaker explains why intellectually stimulating or deep conversations with women can diminish arousal and attraction. He emphasizes that such conversations should be avoided in dating, as they make interactions feel heavy and anti-seductive. Instead, men should focus on creating mystery, keeping conversations light, and not discussing their goals or purpose early on. The speaker advises that women are more drawn to emotional vibes and mystery, and suggests men demonstrate their value through actions rather than words. The video also promotes a related webinar on masculine behavioral techniques.

Takeaways

  • πŸ˜€ Avoid deep, intellectually stimulating conversations when dating women, as they can reduce attraction and arousal.
  • πŸ€” Women are more attracted to feelings and emotions than to logical discussions or life-purpose talks.
  • πŸ“– Keep the relationship a mystery, making interactions feel like a long story unfolding slowly, creating anticipation.
  • πŸšΆβ€β™‚οΈ Present yourself as a challenge, not someone who can be easily figured out or won over.
  • 🌟 Focus on emotions and chemistry during interactions, avoiding heavy topics like goals, dreams, or deep meanings.
  • πŸ’¬ Keep conversations simple and playful, like talking about everyday things (e.g., oatmeal and peanut butter).
  • πŸ‘€ Let women discover your achievements through your actions rather than explicitly talking about them.
  • ❌ Self-qualifying (discussing your goals and accomplishments) reduces attraction by showing insecurity and lack of pre-selection.
  • πŸ”₯ Chemistry grows when interactions feel natural, fun, and effortless, not when they require deep thought or hard work.
  • πŸ’ͺ Maintain a sense of mystery and avoid over-explaining your life, letting your actions speak louder than words.

Q & A

  • What is the main idea presented in the video?

    -The video argues that intellectually stimulating or deep conversations with women can decrease arousal and attraction in romantic relationships. Instead, the speaker advises men to maintain a sense of mystery and avoid self-qualifying by discussing their career, goals, or deeper topics.

  • Why does the speaker suggest avoiding deep, meaningful conversations with women?

    -The speaker believes that deep and intellectually stimulating conversations can be heavy and hard to digest, which requires effort and takes away from the effortless and emotional connection women seek. Such conversations are seen as anti-seductive.

  • What is meant by 'self-qualifying' in the context of this video?

    -Self-qualifying refers to the act of explaining or justifying one's worth, such as talking about career goals or future plans. The speaker suggests that self-qualifying indicates insecurity and implies that the man does not have other options or pre-selection, which decreases his attractiveness.

  • What type of communication does the speaker recommend when interacting with women?

    -The speaker recommends keeping conversations simple, light, and emotionally driven. He suggests using basic language and avoiding deep topics, instead focusing on how the woman feels in the moment and keeping the interaction fun and mysterious.

  • Why does the speaker believe that maintaining mystery is important in a relationship?

    -The speaker argues that once a woman feels like she has fully figured out a man, the attraction fades. Keeping a sense of mystery allows the woman to remain intrigued, which prolongs the attraction and keeps the relationship dynamic.

  • How does the speaker suggest a man should talk about himself without losing mystery?

    -The speaker advises men to talk about themselves in very basic terms, focusing on simple things they like or enjoy, without delving into deeper aspects of their life, goals, or purpose. This maintains a level of mystery and keeps the woman interested.

  • What is the role of emotions in creating attraction according to the speaker?

    -According to the speaker, emotions play a central role in attraction. Women are more drawn to how they feel when they are around a man rather than his intellectual thoughts or future plans. Positive emotional energy and a light, effortless vibe are key to building chemistry.

  • How does the speaker describe the impact of logical or intellectual conversations on women?

    -The speaker argues that logical or intellectual conversations feel heavy and require effort, which can be unattractive to women. Such conversations create a sense of work and complexity, which detracts from the natural and fun emotional connection women seek.

  • What example does the speaker give to illustrate the type of conversation men should have with women?

    -The speaker gives an example of talking about oatmeal with peanut butter and honey for 30 minutes, describing it in simple, enthusiastic terms. This light, easy conversation contrasts with deep or intellectual topics and is meant to keep things fun and effortless.

  • What does the speaker mean by 'operating on a 10-year time horizon' in relationships?

    -The speaker suggests thinking about relationships in the long term, as if the interaction were a long story. This involves slowing down the process, maintaining patience, and gradually revealing oneself to keep the woman engaged and interested over time.

Outlines

00:00

🧠 Avoiding Intellectually Stimulating Conversations in Dating

The video begins by advising men against engaging in deep, intellectually stimulating conversations with women during dating. The speaker suggests that such conversations are anti-seductive, decreasing arousal and attraction. He emphasizes that focusing on light and purposeful verbal communication is more effective in long-term relationships. Viewers are encouraged to check out the MBT (Masculine Behavioral Technique) webinar for more insights on communication patterns that work in real-life dating scenarios.

05:02

πŸ“– Story of a Man Who Lost Attraction

The speaker shares a story of a friend who believed he had a strong connection with a woman due to deep, meaningful conversations. Despite their emotional closeness, the woman eventually pulled away, which the speaker attributes to the man revealing too much too quickly. The speaker explains that once a woman feels she has fully figured a man out, her interest wanes, comparing the situation to a 'short chapter book' that ends too quickly.

10:03

⏳ The Slow, Long-Term Approach to Attraction

The speaker introduces a strategy for keeping a woman attracted over a long period. He advises men to approach relationships as if writing a slow, long story, where things are revealed gradually over time. Creating anticipation, mystery, and patience is essential for sustaining attraction. The goal is to make a woman desire the man for a decade or more by building a slow, evolving narrative in their relationship.

🚫 Why Deep Conversations Ruin Attraction

The speaker establishes a 'Golden Rule' for dating: never engage in deep, intellectually stimulating conversations with a woman you're dating. He suggests such conversations feel 'heavy' and require too much effort, which decreases arousal. Instead, the focus should be on light, emotion-driven interactions that maintain a fun and effortless vibe. He urges men to reserve meaningful discussions for their male friends.

🌟 Keeping Conversations Light and Effortless

To maintain a sense of mystery, the speaker recommends keeping conversations with women light and elementary, using basic phrases about simple, everyday things like food preferences. This playful approach allows men to stay in the spotlight without revealing too much about their personal lives. He emphasizes the importance of keeping things fun and making the woman feel good emotionally.

πŸ’ͺ Let Actions Speak for Themselves

Men should avoid discussing their career, goals, and ambitions directly, as this can come across as 'self-qualifying' and needy. The speaker advises that women should learn about a man's accomplishments through his actions rather than through his words. Discussing such topics overtly can diminish a man's perceived sexual market value, signaling a lack of pre-selection. Instead, men should focus on being attractive through their behavior and presence.

πŸŒ€ The Dangers of Overthinking in Relationships

The video concludes by warning men that overanalyzing their relationships with women often leads them astray. The speaker explains that men who feel the need to verbalize their thoughts and emotions too soon usually end up losing attraction. He reiterates the importance of keeping things light, maintaining a sense of mystery, and focusing on strong communication skills to win over women in dating.

Mindmap

Keywords

πŸ’‘Intellectually stimulating conversations

These are conversations that involve deep, meaningful, or thought-provoking topics, often revolving around life, purpose, and goals. The speaker argues that such conversations can decrease arousal and attraction in dating because they require effort and energy, which is seen as 'heavy' and anti-seductive. He suggests avoiding these conversations with women, especially in the early stages of dating, to maintain mystery and attraction.

πŸ’‘Arousal

Arousal, in the context of the video, refers to the emotional and physical attraction that a woman feels toward a man. The speaker claims that deep, meaningful conversations can diminish this arousal by making interactions feel heavy or overly serious. He advocates for keeping conversations light and fun to maintain arousal and attraction.

πŸ’‘Mystery

Mystery is the idea of being elusive or difficult to fully understand, which the speaker believes is crucial to maintaining a woman's interest and attraction. By not revealing too much about oneself, especially one's goals or deep thoughts, the man can create an air of intrigue, making the woman more curious and drawn to him over time.

πŸ’‘Emotion

The speaker emphasizes that women are more responsive to emotional experiences than to logical or intellectual conversations. Emotion, in this context, refers to the positive feelings and vibes that a man creates in interactions with a woman. The speaker suggests that focusing on how the woman feels in the moment is more important than engaging in deep discussions.

πŸ’‘Self-qualifying

Self-qualifying occurs when a man feels the need to prove his worth or value by discussing his goals, career, or achievements. The speaker argues that this behavior reduces attraction because it signals insecurity or a lack of pre-selection (i.e., the man is not already desired by other women). Instead, he suggests that a man should let his actions speak for themselves and avoid overtly discussing his accomplishments.

πŸ’‘Pre-selection

Pre-selection is the concept that a man is more attractive to women if he is already desired by other women. In the video, the speaker explains that self-qualifying (discussing one's achievements or goals) can signal a lack of pre-selection, thereby lowering a man's value in the eyes of a woman. The speaker advises men to avoid self-qualification and focus on letting their actions speak for their desirability.

πŸ’‘Chemistry

Chemistry refers to the natural connection and mutual attraction that develops between two people. The speaker argues that chemistry is built through light, fun interactions rather than through deep conversations about life or purpose. He suggests that keeping things 'organic' and effortless is key to maintaining this chemistry in a relationship.

πŸ’‘Effortlessness

Effortlessness is described as the quality of making interactions feel natural and easy, without requiring hard thinking or deep discussions. The speaker claims that effortlessness is essential to attraction because it makes the interaction feel light and fun, keeping the woman engaged and interested. Anything that feels like work, such as deep intellectual conversations, is seen as a turn-off.

πŸ’‘Vibes

Vibes refer to the emotional atmosphere or energy that a person brings to an interaction. In the video, the speaker highlights the importance of maintaining positive vibes, or emotional states, during interactions with women. He claims that women respond more to how they feel when they are around a man than to what is being said, and that creating the right vibes is more important than having meaningful conversations.

πŸ’‘Long-term attraction

Long-term attraction is the speaker's focus on maintaining a woman's desire over an extended period, such as ten years. He suggests that this can be achieved by maintaining mystery, creating anticipation, and avoiding heavy conversations that might lead to boredom. By keeping interactions light and slow-paced, a man can retain a woman's interest over time.

Highlights

Avoid intellectually stimulating conversations when dating to prevent a decrease in arousal.

Deep conversations can be anti-seductive and are not recommended in the early stages of dating.

The video aims to help viewers build long-term relationships through proper verbal communication patterns.

A full-length webinar is available for those seeking deeper insights into masculine behavioral techniques.

Women prefer a sense of mystery and are not interested in fully understanding a man's thoughts early in dating.

Once a woman feels she has figured out a man, it signals the end of the relationship's excitement.

The dating interaction should feel like a long, unfolding story to maintain a woman's interest.

Women are attracted to men who present themselves as challenges and are not easily won over.

Men should focus on creating a vibe and energy that makes women feel good when around them.

Logical and heavy emotional conversations are not conducive to building chemistry and attraction.

Keep conversations light and basic to maintain a sense of mystery and intrigue.

Sharing personal goals and deep meanings too early can come across as self-qualifying and reduce attraction.

Men should let their actions speak for themselves rather than discussing their accomplishments overtly.

Self-qualifying can make a man appear as if he lacks sexual market value and is not pre-selected by others.

The video provides practical advice on verbal skills and social communication for dating success.

Men's intuition and feelings about their relationship with a woman are often misleading.

Transcripts

play00:00

now in today's video I'm going to be

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showing you why when you are dating a

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woman you never want to have any sort of

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conversation that is intellectually

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stimulating or that has deep meaning to

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it any talk or conversation filled with

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purpose or deep meaning is often times

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going to be anti- seductive and this is

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going to decrease arousal now this video

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is 100% going to help those of you out

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there who are wanting very good

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long-term relationships as well because

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I'm going to be showing you the proper

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verbal communication patterns that will

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actually work in daytoday real life now

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after this video is over I want you to

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go down below I want you to click the

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link in the description and I want you

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to check out the full length MBT

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masculine behavioral technique endtoend

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webinar that I made for you because

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inside of that webinar presentation we

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take some of these Concepts at an even

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deeper level so that way you can copy

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paste them into your dating life at a

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quicker pace and you can get results at

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a far quicker Pace as well so be sure to

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check that out when today's video is

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over let's dive in now this video will

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come as a shock to some of you okay but

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I'm going to really be taking this in

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very deep detail why intellectually

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stimulating conversations with women

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destroy all arousal now in today's video

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we're going to be doing this in reverse

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order so we're actually going to start

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over here with this column first okay

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and I'm going to start this whole video

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off with a story this is a real life

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story from an old friend of mine okay

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what I want to preface this whole

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statement with is the fact that that

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women never want to actually know what

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you are thinking and I'm going to

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explain why here's the story okay I once

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had a friend and he was talking to this

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girl okay and he was talking to this

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girl and they were seeing each other on

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a consistent basis and this was his

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whole vocal tone through everything he

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goes yeah man you know I met this girl

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things just happen so organically we

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stay up every single night we talk about

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life together we talk about our goals

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together we we talk about my purpose we

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talk about our views on the world we

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talk about everything man we just we

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click so well we have these deep

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meaningful conversations man I've never

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met another girl like her this is how

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the whole conversation went and I didn't

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say anything I just sat there and

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thought oh no here we go he fast forward

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2 weeks later and all of a sudden here's

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what happens oh man she's pulling away I

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don't know what happened this is going

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south I can't believe this was like this

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I thought this whole situation was

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different and then there's very hurt

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feelings very hurt emotions and then all

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of a sudden the guy is sitting there

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wondering what happened okay here's what

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I can tell you once a woman feels as if

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she fully has you figured out it's

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completely game over and I will explain

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why very shortly what you want the

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entire dating interaction to feel like

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is a long story or a very long chapter

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book so what happens when a woman

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figures you out too quickly is to her it

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feels like a short chapter book and once

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it's done it's done okay once it's done

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it's completely over so this is my

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method and this is kind of the phrases

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that I like to to run through my head I

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tell myself hey if I was operating on a

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10year Time Horizon meaning if you

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wanted to take the this this

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relationship with a woman or any

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relationship that you're in if you want

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to take a relationship or you want to

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sit there and figure out hey how can I

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retain This Woman's attraction or you

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say how can I make sure this woman

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desires me and only me for the next 10

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years okay here's how I tell myself this

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plays out I say if I have to operate on

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a 10year Time Horizon how long would I

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write that story and how slow would I

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make that story book be read Page by

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Page okay you want things to be slow you

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want there to be patience anticipation

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and mystery so now that we got that

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story out of the way so you can

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understand this let's actually dive into

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the deep topic this is why

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intellectually stimulating or meaningful

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conversations with a woman destroys all

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attraction and arousal okay I'm going to

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tell you my number one Golden Rule never

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have deep meaningful intellectually

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simulating conversations with women that

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you are dating ever and here's why if

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you need to sit there and waste all your

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time as a man talking about the meaning

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of life go do it with your dude friends

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go do it with the guys all of the dudes

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that you're friends with go do it with

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them do not have these types of

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conversations with women and I'm going

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to explain why women only care about a

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few things they care about the Vibes

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that you bring they care about the

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energy and how you make them feel and

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last but not least they care about how

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they feel when they are around you okay

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what this is is this is code word for

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emotion

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okay now take this a step deeper

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anything logical that requires the

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meaning of life or that requires purpose

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or that requires deep heavy thinking

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okay anything logical feels heavy they

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do not like those heavy feeling emotions

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anything meaningful is anti- seductive

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take this one step further anything that

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requires EX ESS thought feels hard and

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now it's hard to digest it's hard to

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think about it's hard to like it it

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requires work and it requires effort in

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order for a woman to feel like she has

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chemistry towards you things have to

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feel natural and effortless anything

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that requires deep um psychological

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thought or deep philosophical meanings

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of life this now requires effort and

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energy and this is heavy so let me give

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you an example here's how you talk about

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yourself while still being a mystery

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because what you have to understand is

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that women love a mystery women love a

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man who presents himself as a challenge

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women love a man who presents himself

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like he has to be won over and women do

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not want a man that they can win over or

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figure out too quickly so right in this

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column right here I'm going to be

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showing you how to talk about yourself

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while still being a mystery the whole

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key to this is you never really want to

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talk about a third grade level you get

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what I mean elementary school level

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speaking you want things to be very

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basic basic sentences like I like it

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when I always do this or I love it when

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women act like this okay this is the

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type of speaking that you like to have

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there was once I talked like I'm dead

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serious when I when I tell you this

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there was a date that I went on and I

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talked about my like sometimes

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throughout the week I have oatmeal and I

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put peanut butter and honey in it okay

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and I talked about the oatmeal the

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peanut butter and the honey for probably

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like 30 minutes and I sit there and I

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say things like God I just love it when

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the peanut butter mixes with the honey

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it's so good I always do too much honey

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because then it's like sugar overload

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and then when I do all the sugar

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overload I just feel so good and then

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it's like a snack and then it's almost

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kind of like I'm eating dessert and the

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dessert just feels so good in my tummy

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okay this that's probably a poor example

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of what like actual dialogue looks like

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but you get what I'm saying okay if you

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also call out phrases that you like or

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that you love you say ooh did you get

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your your nails done let me see your

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nails ooh I love it I love the pink and

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the red and blah blah blah okay keep

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things basic now the reason why I'm

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talking about you in this instance is

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because notice I'm saying I I like it

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when I always do this I love it when

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okay notice it is all about me and often

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times you need the woman to feel this

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way so she wants to keep seeing you so

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notice the reason why I have I right

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here underlined is because I'm the focus

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I'm the center of the attention and I

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want her in my world and in my frame

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this is how a woman grows feelings and

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grows attraction towards you notice

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something when I talk about mystery or

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being a mystery I do not talk about my

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actual life I do not talk about my

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actual goals my dreams my purpose any of

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that stuff because at this point in the

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interaction it's irrelevant right now

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all we're doing is we are building

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chemistry the way that she builds

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chemistry with you is she feels like

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things happened organically and she

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feels safe with you because things feel

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fun this is the vibe that you have to

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bring so what you want to do is you want

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to let her discover you slowly now if

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all of this makes sense shift your eyes

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and your attention right here okay any

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talk about career any talk about your

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goals as a man any talk about purpose

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okay any talk of career purpose goals

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all of that stuff as a demonstration of

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value to the woman all this does is this

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comes across as you are self- qualifying

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any form of self qualifying energy is

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going to be

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your words and what and and the

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sentences that come out of your mouth

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dictates her emotion it's the words

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that's the key okay this is heavy energy

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so what I want you to do is I want you

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to let her watch your accomplishments

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through action I want you to take action

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in your life and just do just operate

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she sees that you're operating I never

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want you to overtly discuss what you're

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doing I never want you to overtly

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discuss your plans your hopes your

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dreams for the future what you're

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working on what you're building what the

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meaning of life is any of that stuff you

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do not talk about it men who self-

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qualify appear like they are not

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pre-selected so if you have to tell her

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all these things that you're doing in

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your career if you have to tell her all

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these things that you're doing with your

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hopes and your dreams and all this stuff

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men who self- qualify appear as if they

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are not pre-selected they appear as if

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they do not have women already who are

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pursuing them so what that means is now

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since they are coming across that way

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what you're actually doing to the whole

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interaction subconsciously is you're

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sitting there going hey I have to make

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up for my lack of sexual market value

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since I'm not a selected man I have to

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make up for my lack of sexual market

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value by telling you all of these

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amazing plans that I have and all of my

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hopes and dreams and purposes in my

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career you do not want to do this so

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this is exactly why deep meaningful

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intellectually stimulating conversations

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ruins the attraction that a woman has

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towards you this makes her have feelings

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of um you know

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boredom often times and she second

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guesses your sexual market value she's

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going to be sitting there going wait a

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second if this guy actually had options

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if this guy actually was just an

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attractive man he would not feel the

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need to tell me all these things he

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would not feel the need to try to make a

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connection with me things would just

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happen so keep this in mind a lot of you

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guys who you found an amazing woman and

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the Stars aligned and it felt like

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everything was great I'm going to tell

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you this the second that those thoughts

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and feelings come into your mind as a

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man and nine times out of 10 those are

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the opposite thoughts that she's having

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about you typically your intuition and

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your feelings regarding your

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relationship with a woman will always

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lead you astray this is basic principles

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of good verbal skills and good social

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communication that can help you win over

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majority of dates when most men do not

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understand this stuff if you like this

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video hit the like button comment and

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subscribe and we'll see you in the next

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one

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