Rarely Seen Mountain Wedding Rituals (Ibayyo Wedding in Bontoc, Philippines)

Summary

The video script narrates the traditional Ibayyo wedding of Glaiza and Melford, rooted in the Mountain Province of the Philippines. It explores the courtship through 'dok-ong' and 'badang', community engagement through 'Qhugror', and the collective spirit of 'Bayanihan'. The wedding integrates Christian and Ibayyo customs, reflecting a balance between preserving cultural heritage and embracing modernity. The script emphasizes the community's values of unity, mutual assistance, and the significance of remembering one's roots.

Takeaways

• 🏞️ Glaiza Abcalen grew up in Bayyo, a remote area in the Mountain Province, where farming and community values are central to life.
• 💼 Melford Lapnawan, a lawyer, met Glaiza in 2020 and offered her firewood as part of a traditional courtship custom in the Ibayyo culture.
• 🔥 In Ibayyo tradition, offering firewood, or 'dok-ong,' is a way for a man to express romantic interest, and the woman's response determines if a relationship will develop.
• 🌾 Glaiza and Melford's relationship started in a traditional way, leading them to choose a traditional Ibayyo wedding that involves the entire community.
• 🎉 Weddings in Bayyo are large communal events, requiring contributions from relatives in the form of financial donations ('Qhugror') to cover the costs of the feast and celebrations.
• 🤝 The concept of 'Bayanihan,' or communal unity, is central to Ibayyo weddings, where everyone comes together to support the couple and share in the celebration.
• 👴 Elders play an important role in the wedding rituals, offering prayers and blessings for the couple, while the community prepares food and participates in the festivities.
• 🙏 The Ibayyo people maintain a strong connection to their cultural traditions while also integrating Christian practices into their wedding ceremonies.
• 🥘 The food served at the wedding includes rice stored for years, demonstrating the Ibayyo's practice of saving harvests for special occasions.
• 🏡 Despite modern changes, the Ibayyo community holds on to its traditions and values, with a strong sense of kinship, helping each other in both times of joy and hardship.

Q & A

What is the significance of 'dok-ong' in the Ibayyo community?

In the Ibayyo community, 'dok-ong' is a form of courtship where a man offers firewood to a woman. If the woman is interested, they will engage in conversation; if not, she may compensate him for the firewood.

How did Melford and Glaiza's relationship begin?

Melford and Glaiza's relationship began when Melford offered 'dok-ong' to Glaiza's family, and they started conversing and eventually developed a friendship, which led to a romantic relationship.

What is the role of 'Qhugror' in an Ibayyo wedding?

The 'Qhugror' is a financial donation collected from the couple's relatives a few weeks before the wedding. It funds the purchase of pigs, groceries, and vegetables for the wedding feast.

Why is it important for the Ibayyo community to hold a traditional wedding?

Holding a traditional Ibayyo wedding is important because it's not just for the couple's families but for the whole community. It's seen as a family reunion and an opportunity to practice the spirit of 'Bayanihan' (communal unity and cooperation).

What is the meaning behind the name 'Bayyo'?

The name 'Bayyo' comes from a legend where an elderly woman, when asked by Spaniards about the place's name, said 'Nagba-bayo ako' (I'm pounding rice), leading the colonizers to name the place 'Bayyo'.

What is the 'Ug-ugfu' system in the Ibayyo community?

The 'Ug-ugfu' system is a tradition where community members assist each other in times of need, such as during weddings or other milestones, and expect the favor to be returned when they need help.

How do the Ibayyo people preserve their rice for special occasions?

The Ibayyo people store their grains for many years, such as the rice that was milled for Glaiza's wedding, which was stored for 25 years since her birth.

What is the significance of the prayer before opening stored meats in Ibayyo traditions?

The prayer before opening stored meats is a way to give thanks and to ask for blessings for the food, ensuring it is sufficient to feed all the guests during the wedding celebration.

How has the Ibayyo community integrated religion with their traditions?

The Ibayyo community has integrated religion by allowing couples to hold Christian weddings while still practicing their traditional customs, showing that there is no conflict between religious practices and cultural traditions.

What is Glaiza's dream for the Ibayyo community's future?

Glaiza's dream for the Ibayyo community is to persist in the path of progress through collective efforts, ensuring that their customs and traditions remain steadfast, and that the values of camaraderie and helping each other continue to be central to their practices.

Outlines

00:00

💑 Love and Tradition in Ibayyo

The paragraph introduces Glaiza Abcalen, a teacher from Manila, and Melford Lapnawan, a lawyer. They share their love story that began with a traditional Ibayyo courtship called 'dok-ong,' where Melford offered firewood to Glaiza's family. The narrative describes their growing friendship through video calls and eventual marriage plans. The couple decides to have a civil wedding followed by a traditional Ibayyo wedding to involve their community. The paragraph also discusses the Ibayyo custom of choosing between a city or province wedding based on the couple's origins and the financial and communal aspects of organizing a traditional wedding.

05:03

👫 Communal Unity in Ibayyo Weddings

This paragraph delves into the Ibayyo tradition of 'Bayanihan,' highlighting the communal unity and cooperation during weddings. It explains the ancestral will of maintaining kinship and the expectation for community members to assist in celebrations regardless of closeness. The 'Ug-ugfu' system is described, where assistance is given and expected to be reciprocated. The paragraph also touches on the community's shared enjoyment of the feast and the provision of meals for all, including workers, children, and passersby.

10:11

🌾 Harvest and Heritage in Ibayyo

The paragraph discusses the Ibayyo farming practices, where harvests are stored for personal consumption and special occasions like weddings. It narrates the story of a rice harvest stored for 25 years, meant for the bride Glaiza's wedding. The history of Bayyo's name, derived from a Spanish encounter with an elderly woman, is shared. The paragraph also describes a ritual where elders pray before opening stored meats, hoping to feed all guests, and the anticipation of the 'Tukor' celebration, which is a joyous part of the wedding festivities.

16:47

🙏 Prayers and Blessings in Ibayyo Weddings

This paragraph focuses on the religious and spiritual aspects of Ibayyo weddings. It details a prayer offered by elders before the wedding feast, asking for blessings on the couple and the food. The paragraph also discusses the integration of Christian weddings with Ibayyo traditions, emphasizing the harmony between religion and culture. The community's pride in maintaining their customs while embracing religious practices is highlighted, along with the hope for the Ibayyo community to continue progressing while preserving their values.

22:02

🏡 Homecoming and Dreams for the Ibayyo Community

The final paragraph reflects on the importance of homecoming and community support during weddings. It emphasizes the Ibayyo community's gratitude for everyone's contributions to the wedding preparations. The paragraph conveys the joy of being an Ibayyo and the community's collective efforts in times of happiness and grief. It concludes with the dream for the Ibayyo community to continue its path of progress, maintaining their customs and traditions, and the inherent values of camaraderie and mutual assistance.

Keywords

💡dok-ong

Dok-ong is a traditional courtship practice in the Ibayyo community where a man offers firewood to a woman as a gesture of interest. It is a form of cultural expression that signifies the man's willingness to provide and care for the woman. In the script, Melford offers dok-ong to Glaiza, which initiates their conversation and eventually leads to their relationship. This practice is deeply rooted in the community's customs and is a testament to the importance of traditional values in their culture.

💡Ibayyo

Ibayyo refers to the ethnic group that the characters in the script belong to. It is a community with its own unique traditions, customs, and practices that are integral to the identity of its members. The script highlights the Ibayyo's emphasis on community, cooperation, and the preservation of their cultural heritage. The characters' decision to have a traditional Ibayyo wedding is a reflection of their commitment to these values and their desire to honor their roots.

💡Bayanihan

Bayanihan is a Filipino term that encapsulates the spirit of communal unity and cooperation. In the context of the script, it is evident in the community's collective effort to organize and participate in the wedding celebrations. The concept is exemplified by the gathering of relatives to contribute financially and physically to the wedding, embodying the Ibayyo community's strong bonds and mutual support.

💡Qhugror

Qhugror is a traditional financial donation collected from the couple's relatives to fund the wedding expenses. This practice underscores the collective nature of Ibayyo weddings, where the community shares the burden and joy of the celebration. The script mentions the collection of Qhugror to purchase pigs, groceries, and vegetables, illustrating the communal aspect of the wedding preparations.

💡Ug-ugfu

Ug-ugfu is a system of mutual assistance within the Ibayyo community, where members help each other in times of need. This tradition is mentioned in the script as a way of maintaining social bonds and ensuring that everyone's needs are met. It is a reflection of the community's values of solidarity and interdependence, where helping others is both an expectation and a cultural norm.

💡Tukor

Tukor is described as the happiest part of the Ibayyo wedding celebration, where everyone joins in dancing, singing, and playing. It is a moment of communal joy and togetherness that encapsulates the spirit of celebration and unity. The script highlights Tukor as a time when the community comes together to rejoice in the couple's union, showcasing the importance of shared happiness and festivity in their culture.

💡Hagpatan

Hagpatan is the original name of Barangay Bayyo, as mentioned in the script through a historical anecdote. The name was changed to Bayyo after a misunderstanding with the Spaniards, who misinterpreted the local woman's response about pounding rice as the name of the place. This term is significant as it represents the community's history and the evolution of their cultural identity.

💡Christian Wedding

A Christian wedding is a religious ceremony that signifies the union of two individuals in the eyes of God. In the script, the couple decides to hold a Christian wedding in addition to their traditional Ibayyo wedding. This decision reflects the community's ability to integrate religious practices with their cultural traditions, demonstrating a harmonious blend of faith and heritage.

💡Camaraderie

Camaraderie refers to the friendly, supportive relationships among the members of the Ibayyo community. The script emphasizes the importance of camaraderie through the community's collective efforts in preparing for the wedding and their mutual support during celebrations. This term captures the essence of the Ibayyo's close-knit social fabric and their commitment to helping one another.

💡Progress

Progress, as discussed in the script, is the community's aspiration for ongoing development and improvement while maintaining their cultural traditions. The characters express their hope for the Ibayyo community to continue progressing collectively, suggesting a balance between modernity and the preservation of their customs. This keyword reflects the community's vision for a future that honors their past while embracing change.

Highlights

Glaiza Abcalen, a teacher from Manila, shares her upbringing in Bayyo, Mountain Province, and her farming background.

Melford Lapnawan, a lawyer, recounts his introduction to the traditional courtship practice of 'dok-ong' in the Ibayyo community.

The cultural significance of 'dok-ong' is explained, where chopping firewood for a woman signifies courtship interest.

Glaiza's mother plays a pivotal role in initiating a conversation that leads to Melford and Glaiza's courtship.

Melford's decision to engage in 'dok-ong' as a means to court Glaiza is detailed.

The couple's initial interaction through video calls to help Glaiza with her board exams is highlighted.

Glaiza's direct question to Melford about their relationship's future leads to a marriage proposal.

The couple's organic progression from friendship to marriage is described.

The importance of involving the entire community in the wedding celebration is emphasized.

The traditional Ibayyo wedding's financial aspect, including the collection of 'Qhugror' from relatives, is explained.

The communal nature of Ibayyo weddings, where people from distant places return for the celebration, is noted.

The spirit of 'Bayanihan' (communal unity and cooperation) is central to Ibayyo traditions and weddings.

The 'Ug-ugfu' system, where community members assist each other in times of need, is described.

The community's role in contributing to and enjoying the wedding feast is highlighted.

The存储 of grains for special occasions, such as weddings, demonstrates the community's self-sufficiency.

The historical anecdote behind the naming of Bayyo, reflecting the community's agricultural roots.

The ritual of elders praying before opening stored meats, symbolizing gratitude and sufficiency.

The 'Tukor' celebration, a joyful event where everyone dances, sings, and the elders offer prayers for the couple.

The integration of Christian weddings with Ibayyo traditions, showcasing the community's adaptability.

The community's pride in maintaining their culture while embracing religious practices.

The wedding ceremony's vows, reflecting the couple's commitment to love and support each other.

The community's gratitude and the collective effort in preparing for the wedding, highlighting the Ibayyo spirit.

The dream for the Ibayyo community to continue progressing while preserving their customs and traditions.

The enduring values of camaraderie and mutual assistance, central to the Ibayyo community's identity.

The importance of remembering one's roots and the community's call to return home for significant events.

Transcripts

(ethnic song)

(rooster crows)

- I’m Glaiza Abcalen. I work as a teacher in Manila.

Bayyo is in the Mountain Province,

so it’s far from Manila. This is where I grew up.

On this farm, I used to plant and harvest root crops.

I studied here.

- I’m Melford Lapnawan. I’m a lawyer.

-I met Melford around 2020.

He offered “dok-ong” to me.

I was in Manila then when my family informed me

that a man offered them firewood.

In our community, when a man chops firewood

for a woman, it’s a form of courtship.

If the woman is interested, they will engage

in conversation.

However, if the woman isn’t interested,

she may compensate him for the firewood instead.

- During the harvest season, I was conversing with everyone

when Glaiza's mother joined the conversation.

She asked me if I was single, and I said yes.

She then presented me with two choices:

offering "badang," assisting during the harvest,

or opting for "dok-ong," which involved chopping firewood.

I decided to try "dok-ong," thinking it might be

an opportunity to court Glaiza.

When I was on my way back to Baguio, I sent her a message.

I said, “Sorry that it all happened so suddenly.”

When I got home, I received a call from her.

“Can we talk first?”

- “Perhaps I can help you review for your board exams.

I know it’s going to be tough.”

Every night, we would jump on a video call.

Maybe that’s how our friendship grew.

Then he went to visit me in Manila.

- While we were eating, she suddenly asked me,

"What are your plans for us? I don’t know where I stand.”

So, I asked her directly, “Do you want to get married?”

- It all unfolded organically.

We became a couple, and subsequently,

we discussed having a civil wedding.

After that, being both Ibayyo, we recognized the need

to celebrate our wedding celebration

with the entire community.

- We thought that since our relationship began

in a traditional manner, we thought it fitting

to have a traditional wedding as well.

- The decision rests with the couple.

If both the man and woman are from this place,

they usually prefer to have their wedding here.

However, if one of them is from another town,

they have the option to choose between

getting married in the city or the province.

- A few weeks before the wedding,

somebody goes around to collect the “Qhugror,”

a financial donation from the couple’s relatives

for the wedding.

This is going to fund the purchase of pigs,

groceries, and vegetables.

Holding a traditional Ibayyo wedding is expensive because

it’s not just for the couple’s families;

it’s for the whole community.

People from distant places return to Ibayyo just to join

in the celebration. Many view it as a family reunion.

In Bayyo, it’s a custom that when someone marks

a milestone, such as building their first home,

all relatives gather to offer assistance.

The same goes for weddings.

If there’s one trait that can be observed

during this tradition, it’s the spirit of

“Bayanihan” (communal unity and cooperation).

- It was the will of their ancestors—

no matter what happens, there must always be kinship

within the community. If you’re an Ibayyo,

even if you’re not particularly close

to the person celebrating the milestone,

it is expected that you lend a helping hand.

This tradition is very important to those

of us who grew up here.

It’s a special feeling when we’re part

of these celebrations.

- The system of “Ug-ugfu” remains,

signifying that if you need assistance,

everyone will unite to lend a hand.

In return, you are expected to reciprocate and offer aid

in their times of need.

It like passes from one person to another.

- The community relishes the feast together

after contributing to various wedding tasks.

We’re currently on a break.

- We provide meals for everyone—

not only the workers but also the children

and even those passing by in the area

where the wedding will be held.

- The grains, yielding this rice, were stored for 25 years.

We planted them when our daughter Glaiza,

the bride, was just a baby.

- People here continue to rely on farming,

but we don’t sell our harvests; we store them

for our own consumption.

- Like today, on special occasions, we mill the harvests

and serve them to the wedding guests.

Barangay Bayyo was once known as “Hagpatan.”

According to legend, when the Spaniards arrived,

they encountered an elderly woman.

The foreigners asked, “What do you call this place?”

The woman answered, “Nagba-bayo ako,” (I’m pounding rice.)

From there, the colonizers assumed,

“Ah, this is Bayyo.”

That’s how we got the name of our town.

We have another ritual.

Before opening the stored meats,

kept in plastic drums or jars, elders whisper a prayer,

hoping it will be sufficient to feed all the guests.

(elders pray)

- We thank You, Father, for bringing together

these two hearts, the reason why we are all

gathered here.

We pray that You work through us throughout

this occasion, as Melford and Glaiza

become one in the sacred union of marriage.

We thank You for the food You gave us tonight.

Bless this food so that it will strengthen

and nourish our bodies.

This we ask in the name of Jesus, our savior, Amen.

- One of the things I’m particularly excited

about is “Tukor” because it’s the happiest part

of the celebration, where everyone joins in.

Kids will play, and everyone will dance and sing.

The elders offer prayers.

- “May God grant them with plenty of children

and good fortune, that even when they earn little,

they can still save up.”

- The next day is our wedding proper.

We will hold a Christian wedding.

Back in the day, they really followed

the customs and traditions but now, a couple can hold

a Christian wedding and still practice

the Ibayyo traditions.

- When it comes to religion also, we have accepted

that even our elders go to church.

There’s no conflict

between practicing the traditions with one’s religion

and it would be better for the people.

I'm very proud that we have integrated religion

but we have not lost our culture.

- Will you love him for better or for worse?

For richer or for poorer? In sickness or in health?

- After that, everyone will be fed again–

every person who came home.

- Our gratitude extends to our Ibayyo community,

particularly everyone in Bayyo who has been involved

in preparing for our special day even before our return.

- Every person contributed in their own way,

including elders who seemed to have difficulty walking

but still joined in the festivities!

It’s such a joy to be an Ibayyo because it makes you

feel one with the entire community.

- If you ask me, my dream for the Ibayyo community

is to persist in the path of progress,

a journey that requires our collective efforts.

I hope that our customs and traditions remain steadfast.

- The values of camaraderie and helping each other

should forever remain central to our practices.

- In times of happiness and in times of grief,

we are there to help each other.

It's innate for us to help.

During weddings, even those who are in the city,

make their way here, filling up the alleys!

The belief is ingrained in them that you must come home,

whether you’re in Manila, in Baguio City, or elsewhere.

You should always remember that this is where you came from.