The Top 5 Reasons Your Wife Has No Interest In Sex (The REAL Story)

Summary

This video script delves into the reasons why women may lose interest in sex after marriage. It identifies five key factors: feeling like objects during sex, self-punishment due to low self-esteem, the need for control, not learning to enjoy sex for personal pleasure, and weakening their husbands to the point of losing attraction. The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and personal growth to overcome these issues and improve sexual relationships.

Takeaways

• 🔒 The first reason for losing interest in sex is feeling like an object during sex, which stems from a disconnection with oneself.
• 😔 Women often put themselves last, leading to a feeling of being drained and empty, which affects their desire for intimacy.
• ⛔ Self-punishment plays a role in the loss of sexual interest, as women may feel they don't deserve pleasure due to negative self-perceptions.
• 🚫 A need for control can lead to a decreased interest in sex, as it's difficult to let go and enjoy the experience fully.
• 🚫 Women may not have learned to enjoy sex for themselves, often using it as a means to an end or to fulfill others' desires.
• 🚫 The societal and psychological myths about sex can create unrealistic expectations, leading to a lack of genuine enjoyment.
• 👫 A lack of understanding of one's own sexual preferences and body can lead to a disinterest in sex.
• 😣 The act of emasculating one's husband, through constant criticism and attempts to change him, can lead to a loss of attraction.
• 🤔 The feeling of being repulsed by one's spouse can be a reflection of self-loathing and a lack of self-acceptance.
• 🔍 The key to resolving these issues lies in self-awareness, taking responsibility for one's feelings, and addressing the root causes.

Q & A

What is the first reason mentioned for women losing interest in sex after marriage?

The first reason is the feeling of giving away a piece of themselves during sex, which stems from a disconnection with themselves and an unhealthy relationship with their own identity.

How does the concept of 'being unhappy' relate to the loss of sexual interest in the script?

Being unhappy refers to a state of disconnection from oneself, leading to feelings of emptiness and depletion, which in turn can cause a loss of interest in sex.

What is meant by 'self-punishment' as a reason for the decline in sexual desire?

Self-punishment refers to the internalized negative feelings and insecurities that make women feel undeserving of pleasurable experiences like sex.

Why does the need for control contribute to a loss of interest in sex for married women?

The need for control can make women feel threatened by the spontaneity and loss of control that can come with sexual experiences, leading them to avoid sex.

How does not learning to enjoy sex for oneself impact a woman's sexual interest in marriage?

Not enjoying sex for oneself can lead to a lack of understanding of one's own sexual preferences and desires, resulting in a diminished interest in sex.

What role does the concept of 'emasculating' one's husband play in the loss of sexual interest?

Emasculating a husband, which involves shaming or treating him as inadequate, can lead to a woman becoming repulsed by her partner, thus losing sexual interest.

Why is it important for women to explore their own sexual preferences according to the script?

Exploring one's own sexual preferences is important because it allows women to understand what they genuinely like and enjoy, which can lead to a more fulfilling sexual experience.

How does societal pressure and myths about sex contribute to women's loss of interest in sex?

Societal pressure and myths about sex can create unrealistic expectations and beliefs about how sex should be experienced, leading to confusion and a lack of interest.

What is the significance of the phrase 'no one's home' in the context of the script?

The phrase 'no one's home' signifies a lack of self-awareness and self-connection, which is a state that can lead to a loss of interest in sex.

How does the script suggest that women's self-loathing can manifest in their sexual relationships?

The script suggests that women's self-loathing can manifest by emasculating their husbands and becoming repulsed by them, which is a reflection of their own self-hatred.

What advice does the script offer for women who want to improve their sexual relationships within marriage?

The script advises women to connect with themselves, explore their own sexual desires, and not project their self-hatred onto their partners to improve their sexual relationships.

Outlines

00:00

🌟 Disconnection and Self-Neglect

The speaker discusses the first reason why women might lose interest in sex after marriage, which is the feeling of giving away a piece of themselves during sex. This feeling is tied to a lack of self-connection and an unhealthy relationship with oneself. Women often put themselves last, leading to a sense of being drained and empty, which affects their desire for intimacy. The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-care and self-connection to be able to give fully to one's partner and others in one's life.

05:01

🔒 Control and Fear of Losing It

The second reason for the decline in sexual interest is the need for control. As women age and experience more in life, they may become more rigid and fearful, leading to a desire to control all aspects of life. Sex, being an activity that requires letting go of control, can become unappealing. The speaker suggests that this fear of losing control is a barrier to enjoying sex and that women need to confront this fear to rediscover the joy in intimacy.

10:03

🚫 Self-Punishment and Internalized Insecurities

The third reason highlighted is self-punishment, where women may feel they don't deserve to feel good due to internalized insecurities and negative self-perceptions. Constant self-criticism and comparison with others can lead to a belief that one is undeserving of pleasure. The speaker argues that sex, being a natural source of pleasure, becomes something that is withheld as a form of self-punishment, contributing to a loss of interest in sexual activity.

💔 Emotional Disconnection and Lack of Personal Exploration

The fourth reason is the lack of emotional connection and personal exploration in sex. Women may have sex for the wrong reasons, using it as a tool for manipulation or to feel wanted and loved. This can lead to a performance mindset rather than genuine enjoyment. The speaker encourages women to explore their own desires and preferences to enhance their sexual experiences and to be true to themselves in intimate relationships.

🏆 The Impact of Emasculation on Attraction

The final reason discussed is the emasculation of husbands, which can lead to a lack of attraction from the wife. When women shame, criticize, or treat their husbands as inadequate, it can weaken their husbands' sense of masculinity. This constant undermining can result in the wife becoming repulsed by her husband, which is a reflection of her own self-loathing and dissatisfaction. The speaker suggests that this issue stems from women's own insecurities and negative self-image, which they project onto their partners.

Keywords

💡Disconnection

Disconnection refers to a lack of connection with one's own self, leading to feelings of emptiness and depletion. In the context of the video, it is suggested that women may feel they are giving away a part of themselves during sex, which stems from this disconnection. The video implies that this disconnection can lead to a lack of interest in sex, as there is 'nothing to give' due to a lack of self-care and self-connection.

💡Self-punishment

Self-punishment is the act of depriving oneself of positive experiences or pleasures as a form of internalized guilt or self-criticism. The video discusses how women may withhold sex from themselves or their partners as a form of self-punishment, believing they do not deserve to feel good due to negative self-perceptions and insecurities.

💡Control

Control, in this video, is associated with the need for women to feel in control of various aspects of their lives, including their sexual experiences. The video suggests that the fear of losing control can lead to a reluctance to engage in sex, which is often an experience that requires a certain level of vulnerability and letting go.

💡Emasculate

To emasculate, in the context of the video, means to weaken or undermine a man's sense of masculinity or self-worth. The speaker argues that women may inadvertently emasculate their husbands by constantly criticizing or trying to change them, which can lead to a decrease in sexual attraction and interest.

💡Self-loathing

Self-loathing is a deep sense of self-hatred or extreme self-dislike. The video suggests that women's negative feelings towards themselves can manifest in their sexual relationships, leading to a lack of interest in sex. This self-loathing can be projected onto their partners, further complicating the sexual dynamic within the marriage.

💡Exploration

Exploration, in the context of the video, refers to the process of discovering and understanding one's own sexual preferences and desires. The speaker encourages women to explore their own sexuality to enhance their sexual experiences and enjoyment, rather than relying on societal expectations or misconceptions.

💡Myths

Myths, as used in the video, refer to the false beliefs or societal constructs about sex that may not align with individual experiences or desires. The video challenges these myths, suggesting that they can create unrealistic expectations and inhibit women from enjoying sex on their own terms.

💡Vulnerability

Vulnerability is the state of being open to emotional exposure or risk. In the video, vulnerability is presented as a necessary component of sexual intimacy, suggesting that women's fear of being vulnerable may contribute to their disinterest in sex.

💡Self-care

Self-care is the act of taking actions to maintain or improve one's own well-being. The video implies that neglecting self-care can lead to feelings of depletion and a lack of desire for sex, as women may feel they have nothing to give if they are not attending to their own needs.

💡Insecurity

Insecurity refers to a lack of confidence or a feeling of uncertainty about oneself. The video discusses how women's insecurities can lead to a negative self-image and a belief that they do not deserve pleasurable experiences, including sex.

💡Physical Experience

The video contrasts the physical nature of sex with the emotional connotations often associated with it by women. It suggests that understanding sex as a physical experience, rather than an emotional one, can help women enjoy it more freely and without the pressure of needing it to signify love or commitment.

Highlights

Women may feel like they're giving away a piece of themselves during sex, leading to a sense of being objectified.

Disconnection from oneself can result in feeling drained and empty, affecting one's willingness to engage in sexual activities.

A tendency to put oneself last can lead to a sense of entitlement to withhold sex due to feeling emotionally and physically depleted.

Self-punishment and low self-esteem can diminish the desire for pleasurable experiences like sex.

Insecurity and negative self-image can lead to a belief of not deserving pleasure, including sexual pleasure.

Fear of losing control can make women avoid sex, as it requires a certain level of relinquishing control.

The need to be in control can lead to a rigid approach to life and relationships, including sexual relationships.

Sex can be seen as a threat to control, causing some women to avoid it to maintain a sense of power.

Women may not have learned to enjoy sex for themselves, often using it as a tool for manipulation or to meet emotional needs.

Sexual experiences are often influenced by societal expectations and misconceptions about what women should enjoy.

The importance of understanding one's own sexual preferences and desires is emphasized for a fulfilling sex life.

Men are often more straightforward in their sexual desires, while women may complicate sex with emotional expectations.

Emasculating behavior towards husbands, such as constant criticism, can lead to a lack of attraction and sexual desire.

Feelings of repulsion towards one's husband can stem from self-loathing and being repulsed by oneself.

The way women treat their husbands can reflect their own self-esteem and emotional state.

Taking responsibility for one's feelings and actions in a relationship is crucial for personal growth and sexual health.

The core issue of losing sexual interest in marriage is deeply rooted in self-image and relationship dynamics.

Transcripts

why as women we lose interest in sex

once we are married and we stop wanting

sex the first reason we're going to save

the the biggest one for last but the

first reason number one is every time we

have sex we feel like we're giving

another piece of ourselves

away that we don't have to

give feel like we're giving a piece of

ourselves away and we feel like an

object and that our husband is just

taking something from us that isn't

there to give in the first place and the

reason that we feel that way that that

we're giving that piece of ourselves

away is because it stems from our

disconnection from ourselves it's and

and and it stems from our unhealthy

relationship with ourselves which is

that disconnection which is what I call

being

unhappy no one's home no one's in here

we're not connected to ourselves so we

have nothing to give and from that place

of being disconnected that place of

being unhappy we are drained and we're

empty because we're putting everything

and everyone else before

us there no there's no consideration of

ourselves there's no thought of of of

what do I need to be doing to care for

myself so that I can be full and whole

and have plenty to give to my husband

and plenty to give to my kids and other

relationships we know we are the queens

of putting ourselves last which is

fascinating because we're so selfish and

so self-centered which actually stems

from putting ourselves last because then

we're drained and we're empty and we

feel

entitled than to pull sex away because

we have nothing to give in the first

place so that's that's the first reason

why we lose interest and stop winning

sex the second reason of why we lose

interest in stop wanting sex in our

marriages is

self-punishment number two is

self-punishment I don't deserve anything

that's going to make me feel good

because we feel so bad about ourselves

on the inside we are so insecure we pick

ourselves apart we are constantly

comparing ourselves to other women and

their lives and what we think their

lives look at look like we tear down how

we look physically

and and just beat ourselves up and and

we know this as women we know this and

we can put a facade on and pretend we

don't have this I I I was real good at

that but if we get really honest with

ourselves and we shine the flashlight we

will see how bad we feel about ourselves

and then we withhold and deprive

ourselves of anything that will make us

feel good sex is designed to be a

pleasurable experience it's why God made

us the way that we we are and the organs

that we have and the we're made to enjoy

it both as as women and as

men so the reason that we don't is being

shut down and again and there's other

reasons to that but number two we lose

interest because it's a form of

self-punishment the third reason that we

lose interest in sex and stop wanting

sex number three we need to be in

control as women once we get married we

get older the more and more rigid we

become the more afraid we become of

life and we start to to to to grasp and

and and and clinch on very very tightly

and trying to control everything in life

and sex is a a relationship and a

context in

life that threatens that sense of

control and makes us feel like we are

going to lose control because if you're

going to have fun and and and and and

enjoy sex you got to loosen up a little

bit and we don't want to lose that

control and we feel we lose the

spontaneity and the um enjoyment in

exploring exploration that we had when

we were younger with sex and so we don't

want to loosen the reins and actually

enjoy sex because we're terrified

of losing control and again ladies this

is the stuff that hides that we suppress

that we deny that we we make

unconscious that we have to to shake up

and and and look at so that we can

actually change it one of the best

things that my mentor ever taught me is

that as long as we deny it we cannot

heal

it we can only heal that which we are

willing to expose and be vulnerable and

and and look at

the fourth reason that as women we lose

interest in sex and we stop winning

sex we never learn to enjoy it for

ourselves in the first

place that's number four we never

learned to enjoy it for ourselves in the

per first place we had sex for all the

wrong reasons we use sex as a weapon and

a manipulation to get men or to get our

needs of of feeling wanted and liked and

accepted and loved men

and we had sex for the man we did what

we thought we needed to do that they

like to get them and we never stop to

think what do I like we put on a show

and we and we think oh I need to to

be like this woman or I needed to be

like what men see in porn and we start

to put on the show and we're never true

to ourselves and we never really learn

what we like and ultimately it means

we're shut down

to sex and we don't we don't want to

feel we don't want to feel and we don't

want to explore and understand ourselves

and what we actually like and what we

don't like and then learn to be

ourselves in sex ladies I can promise

you all good men want is for you to be

yourself in sex they it

doesn't I promise you my husband and I

like to explore a lot of different

things in the beginning of our relation

relationship and and and things change

once you get married and and you get

older and you find what you like and

what you don't like and my H son said

I'm just so glad you're yourself and you

know what you like and enjoy and I'm so

happy he said this morning when we were

talking when he asked about what my show

was about he was like yeah sexure is fun

now it's about knowing yourself and what

you like and for us as women we're so

messed up around sex men understand sex

for what it is it's a physical

experience it's an enjoyable physical

experience that we were made to have and

we have all the right Point uh all the

right parts to enjoy it and for it to be

pleasurable but as women we make it

emotional and we make it about love I

made sex about getting a

relationship and it if in and sex meant

relationship and sex meant love we we

cannot be further off from that it's a

physical experience we get to enjoy and

when we're married there's one person

that we can enjoy that with which is our

husbands so we never explored sex for

ourselves we don't a lot of us is when

we don't even know our bodies we don't

even understand our bodies sexually um

and we're scared to go there because

we've made it so big and

overwhelming and we don't know what we

like we don't we we don't know what we

don't like

and because we've never enjoyed it for

learned to enjoy it for ourselves and

done that exploration to understand what

we like and don't like we buy in to all

the myths that are fed To Us by society

and psychology and and and our our

friends and the books we read all these

myths that we're like Ovens that and we

need to be turned on and and we're we're

told how we're supposed to enjoy sex so

that we need a lot of foreplay that we

need to be warmed up that we have to get

to an orgasm every single time that we

need it to last a long time that our

husband needs to do all the work to get

us in the mood which isn't going to

happen and number five is going to

explain

why you have to explore what you like

you you I learned for myself and the

majority of women that I have worked

with I learned don't need a lot of

forplay it doesn't need to be this

complicated big production the simpler I

make it

the more I enjoy it and then the more my

husband enjoys it so you've got to do

the work to explore for yourself and not

just buy into what we're told of how

we're wired with sex because a lot of it

and don't mean this crass is b s it's BS

when you really get to know yourself and

you you open yourself up and you stop

shutting down you will find it so much

simpler than you ever imagine so that's

and I'll get into that more in another

video talked about that for a long time

so that was number four number five this

is the most important because this is

the core issue the fifth reason of why

women lose interest in sex and stop

wanting sex once they are

married is we have weakened our

husbands beyond the

point of being attracted to

them number five I'm going to repeat it

because it's the most important one we

have weakened our

husbands to the point of no longer being

attracted to

them that's what happens

ladies when we emasculate our husbands

meaning we shame them we make them wrong

constantly we nitpick everything that

they

do we tell them give them the message

constantly how they are not good enough

we are constantly trying to change

them we treat them like

children when this is how we treat our

husbands and we emasculate them every

all those examples that's how we

emasculate we we strip our husbands of

their their sense of being a man and and

weaken them and make them a shell of a

man of course we're not attracted to

them after we do that to them the most

common

word that gets used and

and this is is where I had gotten to and

it wasn't my husband's

fault it was my own

doing the most common word that we use

as women of what happens once we weaken

our husbands to the point of no longer

being attracted to

them is we are repulsed by

them we find them repul

iive that's what happens for us when we

emasculate our

husbands as we become

repulsed and it is our own doing it is

our own doing through the

emasculation that we become repulsed by

our husbands and

ultimately the emasculation the

weakening of our husbands stems from how

we feel feel about

ourselves and that we're repulsed by

ourselves when when this is how we treat

our husbands who are good men and we

shame them and we make them wrong and

nothing they can do is right and we're

we're cruel and we're unkind from that

place it's a reflection of how much we

don't like

ourselves and how deep down truly how we

loathe and hate ourselves and we don't

have the context to see that and go

there and and resolve it and work on it

we don't get the right context we're

taken in the wrong direction thinking we

feel those ways because it's our

upbringing our childhood our family our

parents our past and there's no solution

there we're not taught how to go in and

take responsibility no we don't feel

good about

ourselves because of the choices and

decisions we make and in in this context

of marriage how we show up in our

relationships is not good women and not

good people

so then we don't feel good about

ourselves and we take it out on our

husbands because we we think we're

Justified and think it's it's them

they're the ones causing us to feel that

way but the truth is we're repulsed by

ourselves and then we've projected that

onto our husbands and weakened them and

then we're no longer attracted to

them so those are are the top five

reasons of why as women we stop wanting

sex and lose interest once we are

married