How To Avoid Small Talk (strategies to start an interesting conversation after 'what do you do?')

Summary

In this video, Paul I explores how to transform the common question 'What do you do?' from mundane small talk into an engaging conversation. He suggests using it as a starting point to segue into more interesting topics like passions and interests. By pivoting from discussing work to personal hobbies, Paul demonstrates how to create a connection and foster a meaningful dialogue, turning routine interactions into memorable ones.

Takeaways

• 🗣️ The common question 'What do you do?' is a versatile and expected starter for small talk.
• 🔄 Small talk serves as a bridge from no interaction to meaningful conversation.
• 🤝 The purpose of asking 'What do you do?' is to initiate interaction, not to delve deeply into one's profession.
• 🔑 Transforming the conversation from 'What do you do?' to 'What are you passionate about?' can lead to more engaging dialogue.
• ❌ Avoiding clichéd responses can help in steering the conversation towards personal interests.
• 🔄 If the initial response to 'What do you do?' is negative, pivot to asking about hobbies or fun activities.
• 💡 Prepare a practiced answer for common questions to smoothly transition into more interesting topics.
• 🤔 Sharing personal interests can naturally lead to asking the other person about their own, fostering a two-way conversation.
• 🌟 Passionate topics can energize a conversation and make it more enjoyable for both parties.
• 📚 The script suggests that even though small talk is often seen as trivial, it's a necessary step to build a foundation for deeper discussions.

Q & A

What is the common starter question for small talk discussed in the video?

The common starter question for small talk discussed in the video is 'What do you do?'

Why is the question 'What do you do?' considered versatile according to the video?

The question 'What do you do?' is considered versatile because it is universally accepted in many cultures and can be used in a wide range of situations as a default starting point for a conversation.

What is the purpose of small talk as explained in the video?

The purpose of small talk is to transition from no interaction to some form of interaction, acknowledging each other's presence and finding a common ground to start a conversation.

How can the question 'What do you do?' be transformed into a more engaging conversation?

The question 'What do you do?' can be transformed into a more engaging conversation by pivoting to questions like 'What do you like doing?', 'What are you passionate about?', or 'What interests you?' to tap into the person's personal interests and passions.

What is the advice given in the video for when the initial small talk question does not lead to an engaging response?

If the initial small talk question does not lead to an engaging response, the video suggests pivoting to ask about what the person does for fun or their hobbies, which can lead to a more interesting conversation.

Why is it beneficial to have a practiced answer for the question 'What do you do?' as per the video?

Having a practiced answer for 'What do you do?' is beneficial because it allows you to control the direction of the conversation and decide which aspect of your work or interests you'd like to share with the other person.

What is the significance of sharing something you are passionate about during small talk?

Sharing something you are passionate about during small talk can energize the conversation and make it more engaging, as it allows both parties to connect on a personal level rather than just exchanging generic information.

How can the conversation be balanced after sharing personal interests during small talk?

After sharing personal interests, the conversation can be balanced by asking the other person 'What about you?' This allows the other person to share their interests or respond in a way they feel comfortable with, thus maintaining a mutual exchange.

What is the moral of the story presented in the video regarding small talk?

The moral of the story is that while small talk is necessary to initiate a conversation with someone new, it should be used as a starting point to transition into a more personal and engaging dialogue.

How does the video suggest using the cliché nature of small talk to your advantage?

The video suggests using the cliché nature of small talk to your advantage by starting with a predictable question like 'What do you do?' and then quickly steering the conversation towards more personal and interesting topics that both parties can engage with.