This Mindset Will Make You 10X More Attractive

Summary

The speaker shares his journey from feeling inferior and chasing after girls, to realizing his own worth and adopting an abundance mindset. He emphasizes the importance of self-improvement and confidence, explaining that when you stop desperately seeking validation and start valuing yourself, you become more attractive to others. He encourages setting boundaries and treating oneself as an equal or better, which he believes leads to healthier relationships where the girl respects the man.

Takeaways

• 🧠 The 'Pedestal Effect' refers to the mindset where one perceives someone else as superior or unattainable, often leading to feelings of inadequacy and desperation.
• 💭 Over-chasing or being overly attentive can signal a scarcity mindset, which can push others away rather than attract them.
• 🔄 Changing one's mindset from a scarcity to an abundance mindset can significantly alter one's approach to relationships and self-worth.
• 🚀 Building self-confidence and recognizing one's own value is crucial in not only attracting potential partners but also in maintaining healthy relationships.
• 🎯 Focusing on personal growth and self-improvement can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling dating experience.
• 💪 Physical fitness and self-improvement can bolster one's confidence and sense of self-worth, making them more attractive to potential partners.
• 💌 Treating others with respect and expecting the same in return is essential for establishing a strong foundation in any relationship.
• 🚫 Setting boundaries and standing up for oneself is a sign of strength and can increase attractiveness in the eyes of potential partners.
• 🔄 The transition from being a 'chaser' to an 'attractor' involves a shift in mindset and behavior, where one becomes less needy and more self-assured.
• 👥 Joining a supportive community or 'Brotherhood' can provide encouragement and reinforcement of positive changes in mindset and behavior.

Q & A

What is the 'pedestal effect' as described in the script?

The 'pedestal effect' refers to the phenomenon where one person in a relationship or a potential relationship perceives their partner or love interest as superior or better than themselves. This often leads to feelings of inadequacy and a fear of losing the valued partner, which can result in desperate behavior and an unhealthy dynamic.

How did the speaker's mindset change over time regarding relationships?

The speaker initially had a 'scarcity mindset', feeling like he was not good enough and always chasing after girls. However, over time, he adopted an 'abundance mindset', realizing his own worth and understanding that he doesn't need to settle or be desperate. This shift in mindset made him more confident and attractive to others.

What is the significance of having an 'abundance mindset' in relationships?

An 'abundance mindset' in relationships means that one feels they have plenty of options and are not afraid of losing any one particular person. This mindset leads to healthier relationships as it promotes self-respect, confidence, and the ability to set boundaries, rather than being overly needy or desperate.

Why did the speaker's initial approach to relationships often lead to failure?

The speaker's initial approach, characterized by the 'pedestal effect' and a 'scarcity mindset', led to failure because it created an imbalance in the relationship dynamic. His desperation and perceived low self-worth made him less attractive and caused the girls to lose interest, as they could sense his lack of self-assurance and confidence.

What advice does the speaker give for men who feel like 'chumps' in their relationships?

The speaker advises men to change their mindset from seeing themselves as less valuable to their partners. He encourages them to build their self-confidence, set boundaries, and understand their worth. He also suggests that they should not be afraid to lose a partner and should focus on being the kind of man who can attract a partner, rather than desperately chasing after them.

How does the speaker suggest one can gain confidence in relationships?

The speaker suggests that gaining confidence in relationships comes from building oneself up, recognizing one's own worth, and having a proven track record of accomplishments. This could include physical fitness, personal development, or other achievements that contribute to a sense of self-worth and confidence.

What is the importance of not faking confidence in relationships?

Faking confidence can lead to inauthenticity and can be sensed by others, which can be off-putting. True confidence should come from within, based on genuine self-improvement and self-awareness. This authenticity is more attractive and sustainable in relationships.

What does the speaker mean by 'you have to become the man who has that proof'?

The speaker means that one must have tangible evidence of their worth and accomplishments. This 'proof' is what gives them the genuine confidence to approach relationships from a place of strength and self-assurance, rather than from a place of neediness or desperation.

How does the speaker's approach to relationships affect the balance of power?

By adopting an 'abundance mindset' and recognizing his own worth, the speaker equalizes the power dynamic in relationships. He no longer feels the need to prove himself, which prevents him from being dominated or taken advantage of by his partners.

What is the speaker's view on setting boundaries in relationships?

The speaker believes that setting boundaries is crucial for healthy relationships. He encourages men to be assertive and stand their ground when it comes to their preferences and comfort levels, rather than being pushovers or accommodating to everything their partners want.

What does the speaker suggest is the ideal dynamic in a long-term relationship?

The speaker suggests that in a long-term relationship, the dynamic should be one of mutual respect and need. Ideally, the girl should need the man more than the man needs her, which he believes leads to a healthier and more balanced relationship.