This Mindset Will Make You 10X More Attractive

Summary

The speaker shares his journey from feeling inferior and chasing after girls, to realizing his own worth and adopting an abundance mindset. He emphasizes the importance of self-improvement and confidence, explaining that when you stop desperately seeking validation and start valuing yourself, you become more attractive to others. He encourages setting boundaries and treating oneself as an equal or better, which he believes leads to healthier relationships where the girl respects the man.

Takeaways

• 🧠 The 'Pedestal Effect' refers to the mindset where one perceives someone else as superior or unattainable, often leading to feelings of inadequacy and desperation.
• 💭 Over-chasing or being overly attentive can signal a scarcity mindset, which can push others away rather than attract them.
• 🔄 Changing one's mindset from a scarcity to an abundance mindset can significantly alter one's approach to relationships and self-worth.
• 🚀 Building self-confidence and recognizing one's own value is crucial in not only attracting potential partners but also in maintaining healthy relationships.
• 🎯 Focusing on personal growth and self-improvement can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling dating experience.
• 💪 Physical fitness and self-improvement can bolster one's confidence and sense of self-worth, making them more attractive to potential partners.
• 💌 Treating others with respect and expecting the same in return is essential for establishing a strong foundation in any relationship.
• 🚫 Setting boundaries and standing up for oneself is a sign of strength and can increase attractiveness in the eyes of potential partners.
• 🔄 The transition from being a 'chaser' to an 'attractor' involves a shift in mindset and behavior, where one becomes less needy and more self-assured.
• 👥 Joining a supportive community or 'Brotherhood' can provide encouragement and reinforcement of positive changes in mindset and behavior.

Q & A

What is the 'pedestal effect' as described in the script?

The 'pedestal effect' refers to the phenomenon where one person in a relationship or a potential relationship perceives their partner or love interest as superior or better than themselves. This often leads to feelings of inadequacy and a fear of losing the valued partner, which can result in desperate behavior and an unhealthy dynamic.

How did the speaker's mindset change over time regarding relationships?

The speaker initially had a 'scarcity mindset', feeling like he was not good enough and always chasing after girls. However, over time, he adopted an 'abundance mindset', realizing his own worth and understanding that he doesn't need to settle or be desperate. This shift in mindset made him more confident and attractive to others.

What is the significance of having an 'abundance mindset' in relationships?

An 'abundance mindset' in relationships means that one feels they have plenty of options and are not afraid of losing any one particular person. This mindset leads to healthier relationships as it promotes self-respect, confidence, and the ability to set boundaries, rather than being overly needy or desperate.

Why did the speaker's initial approach to relationships often lead to failure?

The speaker's initial approach, characterized by the 'pedestal effect' and a 'scarcity mindset', led to failure because it created an imbalance in the relationship dynamic. His desperation and perceived low self-worth made him less attractive and caused the girls to lose interest, as they could sense his lack of self-assurance and confidence.

What advice does the speaker give for men who feel like 'chumps' in their relationships?

The speaker advises men to change their mindset from seeing themselves as less valuable to their partners. He encourages them to build their self-confidence, set boundaries, and understand their worth. He also suggests that they should not be afraid to lose a partner and should focus on being the kind of man who can attract a partner, rather than desperately chasing after them.

How does the speaker suggest one can gain confidence in relationships?

The speaker suggests that gaining confidence in relationships comes from building oneself up, recognizing one's own worth, and having a proven track record of accomplishments. This could include physical fitness, personal development, or other achievements that contribute to a sense of self-worth and confidence.

What is the importance of not faking confidence in relationships?

Faking confidence can lead to inauthenticity and can be sensed by others, which can be off-putting. True confidence should come from within, based on genuine self-improvement and self-awareness. This authenticity is more attractive and sustainable in relationships.

What does the speaker mean by 'you have to become the man who has that proof'?

The speaker means that one must have tangible evidence of their worth and accomplishments. This 'proof' is what gives them the genuine confidence to approach relationships from a place of strength and self-assurance, rather than from a place of neediness or desperation.

How does the speaker's approach to relationships affect the balance of power?

By adopting an 'abundance mindset' and recognizing his own worth, the speaker equalizes the power dynamic in relationships. He no longer feels the need to prove himself, which prevents him from being dominated or taken advantage of by his partners.

What is the speaker's view on setting boundaries in relationships?

The speaker believes that setting boundaries is crucial for healthy relationships. He encourages men to be assertive and stand their ground when it comes to their preferences and comfort levels, rather than being pushovers or accommodating to everything their partners want.

What does the speaker suggest is the ideal dynamic in a long-term relationship?

The speaker suggests that in a long-term relationship, the dynamic should be one of mutual respect and need. Ideally, the girl should need the man more than the man needs her, which he believes leads to a healthier and more balanced relationship.

Outlines

00:00

🚶‍♂️ The Chump's Journey to Self-Worth

This paragraph narrates the personal transformation of a young man, referred to as 'Matt,' from a self-deprecating 'chump' to a confident individual. Initially, Matt believed girls were superior and felt undeserving of their attention, leading to a one-sided pursuit in relationships. He recounts a specific experience in college where he placed a girl on a pedestal, fearing loss and adopting a scarcity mindset. This mindset, however, led to his eventual rejection as the girl sensed his desperation and lack of self-worth. The turning point came when Matt realized his own value and adopted an abundance mindset, no longer chasing but attracting relationships based on mutual respect and self-confidence.

05:00

💪 Embracing the Abundance Mindset

The second paragraph delves deeper into the concept of the abundance mindset and its impact on relationships. It emphasizes the importance of not being overly needy or desperate, which makes one more attractive to potential partners. The speaker advises viewers to stop caring excessively, as this shift in attitude makes one more appealing and puts the power dynamic in their favor. He stresses the need for respect in a relationship, suggesting that a healthy dynamic is one where the girl respects the man. The speaker also addresses the issue of setting boundaries and not succumbing to 'nice guy' behavior, advocating for equality and self-assuredness in relationships. He concludes by encouraging viewers to live with abundance, to not settle for less, and to join a supportive community for like-minded individuals.

Keywords

💡Pedestal Effect

The 'Pedestal Effect' refers to the psychological phenomenon where an individual places another person, often a romantic interest, on a metaphorical pedestal, elevating their perceived worth or status above their actual qualities. In the video, the speaker describes how he used to think girls were better than him, which led to him idolizing them and feeling undeserving, a mindset that often resulted in him being afraid to lose them.

💡Scarcity Mindset

The 'Scarcity Mindset' is a belief that there is not enough to go around, leading to fear and a sense of insufficiency. In the context of the video, the speaker explains that having a scarcity mindset in relationships made him afraid to lose the girl he was pursuing, as he believed he couldn't get any other girl, which ultimately led to his downfall.

💡Desperation

Desperation is a state of hopelessness or urgency, often leading to extreme measures to achieve a desired outcome. In the video, the speaker talks about how his desperation to not lose the girl he was pursuing made him overly attentive and needy, which was off-putting and led to her losing interest in him.

💡Mindset Shift

A 'Mindset Shift' refers to a significant change in one's attitude or way of thinking. The speaker in the video describes how he changed his mindset from feeling inadequate to believing in his own worth and attractiveness, which in turn made him more confident and attractive to others.

💡Self-Worth

Self-worth refers to the inherent value and confidence an individual has in themselves. In the video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of recognizing one's own self-worth and not undervaluing oneself in comparison to others, especially in romantic pursuits.

💡Confidence

Confidence is a feeling of self-assurance and belief in one's own abilities, qualities, and judgment. The speaker in the video argues that exuding confidence is a powerful attractor in relationships, as it communicates to others that one is comfortable with themselves and does not need validation from others.

💡Abundance Mindset

The 'Abundance Mindset' is the belief that there is plenty available, leading to a sense of fullness and satisfaction. In the video, the speaker contrasts this with the scarcity mindset, explaining that when one adopts an abundance mindset, they no longer fear losing any one person because they believe they have many options.

💡Respect

Respect is a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. The speaker in the video stresses that respect is crucial in a relationship, and it can only be achieved when one does not put their partner on a pedestal but sees them as equals or even as someone they could potentially be better than.

💡Neediness

Neediness is a state of wanting too much attention or approval from others, often to the point of being excessively dependent or clingy. In the video, the speaker advises against being needy in relationships, as it leads to an imbalance of power and a lack of respect from the partner.

💡Boundaries

Boundaries are limits or limits that individuals set in relationships to protect their own well-being. The speaker in the video encourages setting boundaries as a sign of self-respect and self-care, which in turn makes one more attractive in relationships.

Highlights

The speaker reflects on his past mindset of feeling inferior to girls, which led to a constant need to win them over.

The concept of the 'pedestal effect' is introduced, where one person is placed above the other in a relationship, leading to an imbalance of power.

The speaker shares a personal story of how his scarcity mindset, fearing the loss of a girl, ultimately led to the end of a relationship.

The importance of not putting girls on a pedestal is emphasized, as it leads to a fear of losing them and often results in the opposite outcome.

The speaker describes a shift in mindset from seeing himself as less valuable to realizing his own worth and attractiveness.

The idea that girls are attracted to guys who are confident and have options is discussed, as it makes them more desirable.

The speaker advises acting as if girls already like you, which can boost confidence and make you more attractive.

The speaker emphasizes the need for genuine self-improvement to back up the confidence displayed, rather than faking it.

The concept of an 'abundance mindset' is introduced, where one feels they have many options and are not afraid to lose any.

The speaker explains that with an abundance mindset, one becomes less needy and more attractive to girls.

The importance of not settling for less in a relationship is highlighted, as one should only be with someone they truly like and respect.

The speaker advises against 'nice guy' behavior and encourages setting boundaries in relationships to maintain respect.

The idea that relationships should be balanced, with neither partner needing the other more, is discussed.

The speaker shares his wish to have known about the abundance mindset earlier in life to avoid past relationship mistakes.

The speaker concludes by encouraging viewers to join a private Brotherhood for like-minded men and access exclusive content.

The overall message of the video is to stop caring so much, as this will make one more attractive and less desperate.

The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-improvement and confidence in attracting the right partners.

Transcripts

I want to take you inside the mind of

younger Matt back when he was a little

chump a little s okay back when he

thought that girls were so much better

than him I'd walk around thinking that

she was so much better than me and why

why did I not feel so deserving of a

girl why did I think that I had to do

everything in my power to try to win her

over remember in my first year of

college there was this girl I actually

really

liked and I started chasing after her

right I tried to win her over that's the

common theme of a s is you try to win

that girl

over constantly there for her with all

my time and all my attention and I

thought she was better than me right so

I was afraid to lose her when you put a

girl on a pedestal like this it's called

the pedestal effect all right think

about this in your own mind if you place

something above you think about how much

harder it is to get that thing when you

say oh that thing is so much better than

me I don't deserve it that's what you're

saying that's what you're telling

yourself when you say that thing is

better than me you don't deserve it then

so it's so much harder to get but going

back on the story I eventually did win

her over right she gave me the time of

day for a little bit and we started

hanging out and I try to give her all my

time and all my

energy like constantly texting her all

the time Snapchatting her all the time

because I was afraid to lose her I had a

scarcity mindset the type of mindset

that most men have because they know

that they can't get any other girl cuz

they're like me they're they're Chumps

and so what happens when I have this

scarcity mindset what happens when you

have this scarcity mindset you're afraid

to lose that thing when you're afraid to

lose something you will lose it it's

like a law of nature all right it's

going to happen and that's what happened

with me the girl could feel my

desperation she could feel and sense the

fact that I had no options there were no

other girls that were into me so why

should she be into me you've probably

heard this before but girls like dudes

that other other girls like they want a

man who can get other girls but the

problem was I was such a s I was such a

chump that I had no options so she left

me she lost interest for me and honestly

that was a common theme for me every

single relationship I got into I thought

she was better than me I put her on this

pedestal I treated her like she was the

queen and all this

[ __ ] I never put myself

first and it bit me in the ass every

single time but if we fast forward to a

few years back I flipped my mindset

completely and I'm probably going to

sound arrogant but I don't care okay I

started going about it thinking that no

you know what I am better than these

girls why is she better than me what cuz

she has a little kitten between her legs

because she has a big

butt [ __ ] that who cares what can she

offer me once I went about it with this

mindset thinking like hang on I'm not

going to chase after her she should be

chasing after me because I've built

myself up I know my worth this is the

mindset shift you need to have you need

to act like like girls already like you

you need to act like you can get any

girl that you see who cares how big your

butt is who cares how pretty her face is

she's no better than you

dude walk around like you are the [ __ ]

telling you this is so much more

powerful you look and exude this

confidence that girls are just like they

can't get enough of you walk around like

you're the [ __ ] she will look at you

like damn he is the [ __ ] you're no

longer fearful you're no longer scared

to lose this girl you're now able to

talk to girls and think you know what do

do I like her I don't care if she

doesn't like me but do I like her

instead of in the past where you're

constantly like oh my gosh I really hope

she likes me oh oh my gosh I got to say

this thing right I got to do this I got

to make sure I don't walk on my own toes

I got to you know what I mean

like constantly trying to prove yourself

to her no you don't need to do that bro

because you are deserving of a girl of

course you are when you change your

mindset like this and realize hang on

she is no better than me just cuz she

has a big butt it doesn't matter I know

my worth I know what I bring to the

table I know that I could get any girl

in this room when you walk around like

this I'm telling you from experience the

girls will look at you the girls will

flock to you the girls will want to be

with you cuz they can feel your

confidence but like I was saying in my

previous video you cannot fake this you

actually have to have this proof that

you are the [ __ ] so that you can

actually walk around with this

confidence so if you want to build your

dream body and actually have this

confidence and also join a private

Brotherhood where you get direct access

to me along with other guys on this

Journey with you and get access to

exclusive content then scroll down right

now and click on the link in the

description and I will see you on the

inside you have to become the man who

has that proof of like yeah I know who I

am I know what I've done I know what

I've accomplished you need to have that

proof right that's when you can actually

have this confidence and look at the

girl and say yep what can you do for me

you can actually hold yourself to a

higher standard and realize that every

girl is not going to be perfect for you

you don't have to settle for the first

girl that gives you

attention because cuz what if you don't

like her what if you only think she's

attractive but she's annoying as [ __ ]

what are you going to do be with her no

cuz you're not needy anymore you're not

desperate anymore you have this

abundance mindset you have an abundance

of options you're not scared to lose any

of them if if a girl comes in your life

you are not fearful anymore you

genuinely don't care that's like one of

the main messages of this video is stop

caring so much when you stop caring so

much you become way more attractive way

more because you're not desperate the

girl now has to try to lock you down

that is the whole point put yourself on

this

pedestal and she will see you as that

guy who she can respect this is very

important if you want to get into a

long-term relationship the girl has to

respect you in the past every

relationship I got into I had no respect

from these girls because I was putting

them on this pedestal thought they were

better than

me but when you actually act like a

freaking man dude and realize your worth

she can now respect to you and you can

get into these long-term relationships

where she won't leave you because she

sees you as that man oh the abundance

mindset I wish I knew this when I was

younger dude you're going to have girls

come and go into your life you're going

to have girls that come into your life

and you realize wait I don't really like

her maybe she realizes she doesn't

really like you who cares move on Let It

Go stop caring so much you should be in

a relationship and honestly she needs to

need you more than you need her if that

makes sense that's a good place to be if

you need her more than she needs you she

has all the power my friend she has all

the power and she will eventually

realize that you are not a strong enough

man to take care of her just being

honest so this means get rid of this

nice guy simpy behavior all right if a

girl enters your life stop treating her

like she is better than you you're

supposed to treat her like she's equal

with you but honestly most men need to

pretend and act like they are better

because when you pretend and act like

you are better you come across as way

more attractive because it honestly will

even out you're used to being like this

where you think she is way better than

you but when you actually treat yourself

like you are better than her it evens

out you know what I mean it evens out

and it it balances out because yeah

anyway stop being scared to set

boundaries with her like if you don't

want her to post ass picks on Instagram

tell her okay like set that boundary put

your foot down if she doesn't like it

fine she can leave like this is how you

have to act this is way more freaking

attractive than being the guy who's like

a pushover when you tell her that and

she says actually no I'm going to keep

posting as picks on Instagram and show

off my body and just to get attention

from other men and you're the guy who

stays in the relationship with her she's

going to walk all over you buddy she has

no respect for you no respect she's not

going to love you like I said I'm

sounding arrogant in this video but this

is the type of video that I needed when

I was growing up so that's why I'm

making it as soon as I started Living

with abundance and stopped caring so

much I became the attractor not the

Chaser I knew I could get any girl

around me I knew cuz I built myself up I

had this proof but like I said you

cannot just fake this if you want to

build your dream body if you want to

surround yourself with like-minded men

and join our private Brotherhood and

also get access to exclusive content

then go click the link in the

description right now and I will see you

in there with that said leave a like

leave a comment subscribe if you are new

and I will see you in the next video

peace