10 POWERFUL Self-Reflection Questions To Ask Yourself...

Oliver Cowlishaw
17 Jul 202110:45

Summary

TLDRThis video script emphasizes the significance of self-discovery for personal growth. It introduces 10 introspective questions designed to enhance self-awareness, such as beliefs about money and relationships, admirations, and envious feelings. The script encourages viewers to confront their past, identify moments of aliveness, and envision their actions if faced with a year to live. It also prompts reflection on unexpressed feelings and behaviors that could change if there were no negative consequences. The video concludes with a call to balance self-reflection with action for meaningful life transformation.

Takeaways

  • ๐Ÿ˜Œ **Self-Discovery Importance**: Understanding the rules of life's 'game' can lead to better strategies and outcomes.
  • ๐Ÿ” **Self-Awareness**: Recognizing personal patterns, beliefs, and habits can open new doors and opportunities in life.
  • ๐Ÿ’ญ **Beliefs Inquiry**: Questioning deeply held beliefs about money, relationships, and other aspects can reveal true values and guide personal growth.
  • ๐ŸŒŸ **Admiration Reflection**: The people we admire reflect traits we aspire to embody, indicating areas for personal development.
  • ๐Ÿ‹ **Envy Analysis**: Envy of others can signal unacknowledged desires, prompting introspection and potential personal changes.
  • ๐Ÿค” **Self-Acceptance**: Identifying and accepting parts of oneself that are difficult to embrace can lead to improved self-esteem and happiness.
  • ๐Ÿง’ **Childhood Review**: Reflecting on childhood traits can help reconnect with suppressed qualities and foster personal growth.
  • โœจ **Peak Moments**: Identifying times of feeling truly alive can clarify what brings fulfillment and guide life choices.
  • ๐Ÿ’€ **Mortality Perspective**: Contemplating life's end can clarify priorities and motivate action towards meaningful goals.
  • ๐Ÿ”„ **Past Regrets**: Reflecting on past regrets can help in letting go and learning from past experiences to shape a better future.
  • ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ **Expression Encouragement**: Encouraging open expression of thoughts and feelings can lead to greater happiness and authenticity.
  • ๐ŸŒˆ **Uninhibited Behavior**: Imagining a scenario where actions don't negatively impact others can reveal how one might live more freely.
  • ๐Ÿ‹๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ **Action and Inner Work Balance**: While self-reflection is crucial, it should be balanced with taking action to achieve meaningful change.

Q & A

  • Why is self-discovery important for personal growth?

    -Self-discovery is crucial for personal growth because it allows individuals to understand their own patterns, beliefs, habits, and emotions. This awareness opens doors to new possibilities and ways of living, enabling one to play a 'better game' with the hand they've been dealt in life.

  • What is the analogy used in the video to explain the importance of self-discovery?

    -The video uses the analogy of playing a card game without knowing the full rules. Just as one might not be aware of all the possible moves and strategies in a game, people often live their lives without fully understanding themselves or the potential within them.

  • What does the video suggest as a method to enhance self-awareness?

    -The video suggests asking oneself 10 life-changing questions that delve into personal beliefs, values, and behaviors. These questions are designed to provoke deep thought and self-reflection, leading to increased self-awareness.

  • How does the video recommend one to approach answering these self-discovery questions?

    -The video recommends being radically honest with oneself and ensuring privacy while answering these questions to allow for full self-expression without fear of judgment.

  • What is the first question suggested by the video to explore one's beliefs?

    -The first question is 'What do I really believe about money, sex, relationships, friendships, family, career, spirituality?' This question encourages individuals to examine their core beliefs beyond what they have been taught by others.

  • Why is it important to identify the people one admires according to the video?

    -Admiring someone indicates that they possess traits and qualities that one desires to embody but has not yet fully realized. Identifying these figures can help one understand the aspects of themselves they wish to develop.

  • How does envy relate to self-discovery as discussed in the video?

    -Envy is a signal of unmet desires within oneself. By examining what one envies in others, one can uncover their own desires and aspirations that they may not have acknowledged or accepted.

  • What does the video suggest about accepting parts of oneself that are difficult to embrace?

    -The video encourages individuals to confront and accept the parts of themselves they struggle with. This acceptance can lead to increased self-love, confidence, and overall happiness.

  • Why is it beneficial to reflect on one's childhood according to the video?

    -Reflecting on childhood can reveal traits and qualities that have been repressed over time. Understanding these can help one reconnect with their inner child and potentially reintegrate those traits into their adult life.

  • What is the significance of identifying moments when one felt truly alive, as suggested by the video?

    -Identifying moments of true aliveness helps one understand their values and what makes life meaningful. This insight can guide them towards creating more fulfilling experiences in their current life.

  • How does the video use the hypothetical scenario of having one year left to live?

    -This scenario is used to prompt individuals to consider how they would change their current behavior and priorities if faced with a limited time frame, encouraging them to live more authentically and pursue what truly matters to them.

  • What does the video suggest about expressing regrets and resentments from the past?

    -The video suggests that addressing past regrets and resentments can free one from the subconscious patterns that hold them back, leading to a more open and fulfilling life.

  • Why is it important to identify and express what one is currently holding back, according to the video?

    -Holding back on expressing oneself can lead to a lack of happiness and confidence. The video encourages individuals to identify what they are not expressing and to communicate their desires, needs, and feelings more openly.

  • What is the final question proposed by the video to explore how one would behave without fear of negative impact?

    -The final question is 'If it was guaranteed that nobody would be impacted negatively by it, how would you show up to other people, how would you behave differently, and what would you do?' This question is designed to help individuals consider how they might live more freely and authentically if not constrained by the fear of affecting others.

  • How does the video caution against an overemphasis on self-reflection without action?

    -The video warns that while self-reflection is important, it should be balanced with action. It suggests that focusing solely on inner work without taking steps to implement changes can become a form of procrastination, preventing real change and growth.

Outlines

00:00

๐Ÿ” Self-Discovery and Self-Awareness

The speaker introduces the topic of self-discovery, emphasizing its importance for personal growth and understanding one's own patterns, beliefs, and habits. They use the analogy of playing a card game with unknown rules to illustrate the limitations of living without self-awareness. The speaker suggests that self-discovery is akin to learning new strategies and rules that can change the way one plays the game of life, leading to better outcomes. They propose ten self-discovery questions designed to enhance self-awareness and invite the audience to reflect deeply and honestly on their beliefs, values, and behaviors.

05:00

๐Ÿค” Deep Dive into Personal Beliefs and Envy

The speaker delves into the first two self-discovery questions, focusing on uncovering personal beliefs about various aspects of life such as money, relationships, and spirituality. They encourage the audience to explore beliefs that are genuinely their own, not just those they have adopted from others. The second question prompts the audience to consider the people they admire and why, suggesting that admiration reflects traits the admirer wishes to embody. The speaker also addresses the uncomfortable feelings of envy, suggesting that it can reveal underlying desires and aspirations that the individual may be suppressing or is not fully acknowledging.

10:02

๐Ÿง’ Exploring Childhood, Living Fully, and Facing Mortality

The speaker continues with questions that invite reflection on one's childhood traits, how they have changed, and what events may have prompted these changes. They suggest that understanding these changes can help reintegrate repressed traits and live more authentically. Question six asks individuals to recall times when they felt truly alive, aiming to identify activities and circumstances that align with their values and passions. The seventh question poses a hypothetical scenario where the individual has one year left to live, prompting them to consider how they would change their current lifestyle and priorities. This exercise is meant to highlight what is truly important and what changes could lead to a more fulfilling life.

๐Ÿ”ฎ Addressing Past Regrets and Unexpressed Feelings

The eighth self-discovery question encourages individuals to confront past regrets and resentments, which often reside in the subconscious and influence behavior without conscious awareness. By acknowledging these feelings, individuals can begin to break free from patterns that hold them back. The ninth question addresses the issue of unexpressed emotions and desires, suggesting that suppression leads to reduced happiness and confidence. The speaker advocates for open communication and self-expression as a path to greater personal fulfillment.

๐ŸŒŸ The Courage to Be Authentic and the Importance of Action

The final self-discovery question challenges individuals to consider how they would behave if they were assured that no one would be negatively impacted by their actions. This question is designed to encourage individuals to shed inhibitions and live more authentically. The speaker concludes by stressing the importance of balancing self-reflection with action, warning against the trap of over-analyzing without taking steps to implement changes. They emphasize that meaningful change in life requires both introspection and active steps towards personal growth.

Mindmap

Keywords

๐Ÿ’กSelf-discovery

Self-discovery refers to the process of understanding oneself, including one's beliefs, desires, and patterns of behavior. In the video, self-discovery is presented as a crucial step towards self-awareness and personal growth. The speaker emphasizes that by asking oneself key questions, individuals can uncover hidden beliefs and desires that influence their actions and decisions, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling life.

๐Ÿ’กSelf-awareness

Self-awareness is the conscious knowledge of one's own character, feelings, motives, and desires. The video suggests that self-awareness is key to playing a 'better game' with the 'hand you've been dealt,' meaning it allows individuals to make more informed choices and lead a life that is more aligned with their true selves. The speaker uses the metaphor of a card game to illustrate how self-awareness can reveal new strategies and possibilities.

๐Ÿ’กBeliefs

In the context of the video, beliefs are the internal convictions that guide an individual's actions and decisions. The speaker encourages viewers to explore what they 'really believe' about various aspects of life, such as money, relationships, and spirituality. By identifying and questioning these beliefs, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of their values and motivations.

๐Ÿ’กAdmiration

Admiration is the feeling of respect and approval for someone or something. The video script uses admiration as a tool for self-discovery, suggesting that the people we admire embody traits that we wish to integrate into ourselves. For instance, the speaker mentions admiring a character for their assertiveness, which reflects a desire to be more assertive themselves.

๐Ÿ’กEnvy

Envy is a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities, or luck. The video script posits that envy can be a sign of unfulfilled desires within oneself. By examining what one envies in others, individuals can identify areas of their lives they wish to improve or aspects of their personality they wish to develop.

๐Ÿ’กSelf-acceptance

Self-acceptance is the act of approving of oneself and one's attributes. The video encourages viewers to confront parts of themselves they struggle to accept, suggesting that doing so can lead to a more confident and happier life. The speaker implies that self-acceptance is a critical component of self-discovery and personal growth.

๐Ÿ’กChildhood

The video script suggests that reflecting on one's childhood can provide insights into one's current personality and behavior. The speaker asks viewers to consider how they have changed since childhood and what events may have influenced these changes, indicating that understanding one's past can inform one's present and future.

๐Ÿ’กAuthenticity

Authenticity refers to the state of being genuine and not false or imitation. The video script touches on the idea of feeling 'truly alive,' which implies a state of authenticity where one is fully engaged and present in their experiences. The speaker encourages viewers to identify and pursue activities that bring about this feeling of authenticity.

๐Ÿ’กRegrets

Regrets are feelings of sadness or disappointment over something that has happened or been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity. The video script prompts viewers to consider what they would change about their past if they could, suggesting that examining regrets can lead to insights about what is truly important in one's life.

๐Ÿ’กExpression

Expression in the video refers to the act of communicating one's thoughts, feelings, and desires openly. The speaker emphasizes the importance of expressing oneself fully, suggesting that holding back can lead to unhappiness and a lack of fulfillment. The video encourages viewers to consider what they might do if they were guaranteed not to negatively impact others by their actions.

๐Ÿ’กAction

Action in this context refers to the act of taking steps to implement one's insights and intentions. The video script warns against the trap of over-analyzing without taking action, suggesting that a balance of self-reflection and action is necessary for meaningful change. The speaker implies that while self-discovery is important, it must be accompanied by proactive steps towards one's goals.

Highlights

Self-discovery is crucial for understanding the rules of the 'game' of life and how to play it effectively.

Self-awareness can reveal hidden patterns, beliefs, and habits that influence our behaviors and emotions.

The video introduces 10 life-changing questions to promote self-discovery and self-awareness.

Question 1: What do you truly believe about various aspects of life such as money, relationships, and spirituality?

Question 2: Identify the people you admire and the qualities they possess that you wish to embody.

Question 3: Recognize and understand the root of your envy towards others to uncover your own desires.

Question 4: Reflect on the parts of yourself that are difficult to accept and work towards self-acceptance.

Question 5: Analyze your childhood traits and how they may have changed or been repressed over time.

Question 6: Recall times when you felt truly alive to understand what brings you joy and fulfillment.

Question 7: Consider how you would live if you knew you had only one year left to live.

Question 8: Examine past regrets and how they may be influencing your current behavior and decisions.

Question 9: Identify any suppressed thoughts, feelings, or desires that you are not expressing to others.

Question 10: Envision how you would behave if there were no negative consequences for your actions.

Inner work is important, but it should be balanced with taking action to create meaningful change.

Self-discovery questions can lead to a more fulfilling and impactful life when combined with proactive behavior.

Transcripts

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in this video i am going to be giving

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you the 10 best

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self-discovery questions that you can

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ask yourself

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for complete and total self-awareness

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so why is self-discovery important in

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the first place

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imagine that you're playing a game of

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cards you dealt five cards

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and that's the hand that you've been

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dealt and that's the hand that you're

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going to play however

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you don't know the full rules of the

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game maybe the people that you're

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playing with haven't fully told you the

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rules of the game

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maybe there's a bunch of different

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combinations and hands that you could

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play but you're not aware of those

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either

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you just have these five cards you've

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been dealt and

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a couple of hands that you remember and

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these are the these are your only

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options

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these this is all you can play so far

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now imagine

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there's a method and a system for

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teaching

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you that hang on a minute there are 10

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other hands i could play with this

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particular combination

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and there's actually about five or six

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different rule sets to this game

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that i wasn't aware of before this is

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the power of self-awareness

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and self-discovery learning about your

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own patterns

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learning about the truth of who you are

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about your own

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issues your own beliefs your own habits

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behaviors patterns and emotions and all

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that this other stuff

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it literally opens up doors for you in

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your life

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it opens up doors where you can live a

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different way most people

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they play the hand they've been dealt

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and they never question the rules of the

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game

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they just play it as they've been taught

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to and the results across the the span

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of their life

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is pretty damn predictable so if you

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want to play a better game which will

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give you better results in your life

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in pretty much any other dimension

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self-awareness

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is key so here are 10 life-changing

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questions that you need to ask yourself

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if you are serious about playing a

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better game with the hand that you've

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been dealt

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now if you want to do this as you go

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through this video which i highly

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recommend

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you can pause the video at various

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intervals and actually write down your

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answers

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to these questions if you're going gonna

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do that i want you to remember

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one be radically honest with yourself

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and two don't let anyone see this you

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really need to have the

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the freedom to be able to just fully

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express yourself onto the page

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question number one what do i really

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believe

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about money sex

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relationships friendships family

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career spirituality they are just a few

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jumping off topics but if any other

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topics come up

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that are more pertinent to you then

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explore those as well but the point is

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you really need to dig

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deeper and ask yourself what do you

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actually believe

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you not like beliefs that you've been

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given by other people that other people

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believe around you but what do you

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really believe about these things

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question two who do i admire

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and why now this is very important the

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people that we admire

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they're exhibiting traits and

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characteristics and qualities

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that exist within us but we've not had

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the full

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courage we're not fully actualized the

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potential of this

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yet but we'd like to for one example

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i admired in the tv show game of thrones

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robert baratheon

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around the time that i valued and

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admired robert baratheon the character

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i thought he was a real badass it was

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because i was a super

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nice guy and i wasn't very assertive so

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he was exhibiting traits that i wanted

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to

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portray i wanted to embody in my

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behavior with people

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but i didn't dare and my admiration for

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this character

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that's how my subconscious was telling

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me that's what my subconscious was

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telling me to integrate

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so that might be the case for you in

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your life who do you admire and why

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number three what am i consistently

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envious of

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in other people we don't like feeling

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jealous we don't like feeling envious

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for good reason because it feels

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horrible however on the other side of

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what you're envious of in other people

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lies a desire if we're

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jealous of another person's amount of

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money if we're envious of

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another person's you know if they agree

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with women for example they're very

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popular or whatever the case is

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there is at the root of that envy

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a desire that we have that we maybe

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don't accept

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within ourselves maybe we don't fully

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allow ourselves to want these things

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maybe we are scared of it afraid of

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success or afraid of the failure that

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might come if we actually try to

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be more like that who knows well the

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point is

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ask yourself what you're envious of in

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other people and don't be afraid of what

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you

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find out question four what parts of

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myself do i struggle to accept

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when i ask people what do you love about

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yourself that's usually

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the response i get is usually pretty

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pretty meh i like these things but it's

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not really a question that

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tends to hit quite hard however if we

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look in in the the shadow side of us the

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parts of ourselves that we don't like to

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accept that we try and push away

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and we bring them to the surface and pay

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attention to them

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and then hopefully we might be able to

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build a more accepting relationship with

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the parts we don't like about ourselves

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that's going to help us feel more

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totally self-accepting which is going to

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improve our confidence our happiness

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and just everything in life it's gonna

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it's gonna make life a way

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more fun experience for us if we can do

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that question five

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what was i like as a child has this

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changed

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how much has this changed and was there

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a point

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an event or a series of events or a

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phase in my life

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where this began to change what this can

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do

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is teach us the traits and the qualities

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that are existing within us still

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but at a certain point in our

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development we learned

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to repress those things but they're not

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gone anywhere they're just a part of us

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that we we try to stuff down

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and when we start to become aware of

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these traits what we were like as a

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child

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we might start to be able to make

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friends with this

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inner child part of us and and bring it

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to more more to the surface so we might

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be able to live in a more sort of

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carefree

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and enjoyable and creative way number

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six

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what were the times in my life when i

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felt

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truly alive i want you to list these

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and i want you to write about these in

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detail what were you doing at the time

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how did it feel how did that

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circumstance come about

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for example one of my times is when i

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won my

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two mma fights it was the most it's like

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time sort of melted away

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life inherently meant something

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and everything just felt great so when

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you learn about these times

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in your life you learn about your values

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what's important to you what makes life

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actually worth

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living and then you can sort of wonder

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why am i not having more moments like

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this

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and that can give you an idea as to what

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needs to change in order to make life

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more fulfilling for you

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question number seven if i was going to

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die in one

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year's time how would i spend

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that time and that is assuming that you

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don't have some degenerative illness

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let's just say in a year's time

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you're walking about and then just boom

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you're gone it's quick it's painless but

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you're gone

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in that year what would you do what

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would you do differently what would you

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say to people that you're not saying

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what trips would you go on what work

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would you want to do what charities

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would you engage with that kind of thing

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and you can ask yourself just as sort of

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an offshoot of that question

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why are you not doing that now

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tomorrow is guaranteed to absolutely

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nobody it is only down to

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denial and delusion that we think that

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tomorrow i'm going to be around

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odds are you will be but that's what

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people who die who will die tomorrow

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think

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so time is guaranteed to nobody if you

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were going to be

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dead in a year's time what would you do

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differently question number eight

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if i could change anything about my past

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what

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would it be regrets and resentments

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and shameful times they tend to sit in

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our subconscious where they're not fully

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expressed

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and in the subconscious they sit and

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they puppet

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our behavior and they hold us back and

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they keep us stuck in old patterns and

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cycles

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of habit and behavior which lead to the

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exact same results in our lives so what

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i want you to do

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is look into the past at some regrets

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and resentments and things like that

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and ask yourself what do you what do you

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wish would been would have been

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different in the past that would make

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life better today question number nine

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is there anything right now that i am

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not

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expressing to who and why might that be

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one of the things i teach guys as a

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principal

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is to come out of hiding stop

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avoiding confrontation stop avoiding

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communicating

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your desires your needs your wants your

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thoughts your

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feelings stop hiding if you are

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currently

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unexpressing if you're currently holding

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back and suppressing yourself

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you have very little chance of feeling

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as happy as you could do

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as feeling as confident as you could do

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as well and this leads me to my next

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question which is number 10

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if it was guaranteed that nobody would

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be impacted

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negatively by it how would you show up

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to other people how would you behave

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differently

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and what would you do guys who are

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usually shy

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socially inhibited they lack confidence

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they're not feeling very good maybe

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anxious maybe depressed

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generally speaking these people we also

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we also care about other people we also

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don't want to hurt anybody

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we're fundamentally we probably feel

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more than most people we're quite

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sensitive which is a good thing by the

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way

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and we don't want to hurt people so we

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end up changing our behavior and holding

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back in a bunch of different ways

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but this holds us back this this

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cripples us in a way this stops our

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happiness

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but what would you do how would things

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be different if you were guaranteed if

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it was absolutely guaranteed that nobody

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would be affected by

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poorly by what you did how would you

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show up differently so self-discovery is

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truly important doing this kind of

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self-awareness

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self-reflection doing the inner work is

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really important but

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i want to warn you of something this

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inner work is

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important but only when it is balanced

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with action inner work can become its

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own kind of distraction

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it's not uncommon for clients to come to

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me for people to come to me for help

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and they have been in this sort of

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psychoanalytical trap

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for years without really knowing if

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anything changes

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and then they have like a 90-day program

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coaching program with me

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and then within 90 days they have

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different results and their life has

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sort of opened up for them

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it's because they just weren't taking

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action and they were a little too afraid

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to do so they didn't have the

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encouragement they needed

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so do the inner work take action bring

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it together

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and that will create meaningful

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impactful change in your life

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this is ollie once again take care and

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i'll see you next time

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Related Tags
Self-DiscoveryPersonal GrowthMindsetBeliefsAdmirationEnvySelf-AcceptanceChildhoodLife MomentsRegrets