6 Ways to Get People to Respect You (Avoid Being Taken Advantage Of)

Summary

In this insightful video, Amanda discusses the importance of self-respect and offers six practical tips to help individuals gain respect from others. She emphasizes the need to love and value oneself, set clear boundaries, assert one's needs, avoid over-apologizing, and maintain confident body language. By applying these strategies, one can foster healthier relationships and command the respect they deserve.

Takeaways

• 🌟 Respect yourself first to gain respect from others.
• 🛡️ Set clear boundaries to protect your personal space and values.
• 🚫 Understand that you don't have to be nice all the time; prioritize your own well-being.
• 💬 Speak up and make your voice heard in conversations.
• 🙏 Don't over-apologize, as it can undermine your authority.
• 👀 Use confident body language to convey strength and self-assurance.
• 🙅‍♀️ Learn to say no without feeling guilty to maintain healthy relationships.
• 🤝 Create your own happiness and don't rely solely on others for it.
• 🗣️ Use techniques like saying names and hand gestures to ensure you're heard in group settings.
• 🔒 Prioritize what is important in life and protect yourself from being taken advantage of.

Q & A

What is the main issue Amanda addresses in the video?

Amanda addresses the issue of people feeling disrespected and taken advantage of, and how to gain respect from others.

What is the first step Amanda suggests to gain respect?

The first step is to respect oneself, which includes loving oneself and not being too harsh with personal insecurities.

What does 'internal locus of control' refer to?

Internal locus of control refers to an individual's belief that their actions, abilities, or mistakes have a strong influence on the events that happen to them.

How can one practice self-respect according to the video?

One can practice self-respect by learning to say no without feeling guilty, prioritizing important aspects of life, and maintaining healthy relationships.

What is the importance of setting clear boundaries?

Setting clear boundaries is important to ensure that one's personal space and rules are respected, and to prevent others from taking advantage.

Why is it not necessary to be nice all the time?

Being nice all the time, especially at the expense of one's own happiness, can lead to being taken advantage of. It's important to know when to put oneself first.

What are some tips for making oneself heard in a group conversation?

Tips include saying the person's name during the conversation, using hand gestures, and maintaining eye contact with everyone.

Why should one avoid over-apologizing?

Over-apologizing can undermine the sincerity of one's apologies and may be perceived as a sign of submissiveness, leading others to assume blame or take advantage.

How can confident body language help in commanding respect?

Confident body language, such as good posture, maintaining eye contact, and using hand gestures, can convey that one is not easily pushed around and can command respect.

What is the final advice Amanda gives to those who feel disrespected?

Amanda encourages viewers to use the tips provided in the video to command respect and to share their experiences and thoughts in the comments section.

Outlines

00:00

🌟 Building Self-Respect

The first paragraph discusses the importance of self-respect and how it can lead to gaining respect from others. It emphasizes that loving oneself and having an internal locus of control are crucial for mental health. The speaker suggests practicing self-respect by setting boundaries, saying no without guilt, and prioritizing personal well-being. It also highlights the importance of standing up for oneself, such as insisting on receiving what one has paid for, as a way to assert self-worth.

05:01

🚫 Setting Boundaries and Being Genuine

The second paragraph focuses on setting clear boundaries with others and being genuine about one's feelings and needs. It uses the example of a disrespectful friend who visits the speaker's house and suggests ways to communicate boundaries effectively. The paragraph also addresses the issue of over-apologizing and its negative impact on one's perceived submissiveness. It encourages viewers to be assertive without being unkind and to display confident body language to command respect.

Keywords

💡Respect

Respect in the context of the video refers to the consideration and esteem that one should have for oneself and others. It is a fundamental aspect of healthy relationships and is essential for personal well-being. The video emphasizes the importance of self-respect as a precursor to gaining respect from others, as demonstrated by the advice to prioritize one's own needs and to set boundaries.

💡Self-Respect

Self-respect is the act of valuing and caring for oneself, which is crucial for mental health and personal growth. The video suggests that by practicing self-respect, individuals can develop a sense of internal locus of control, believing that their actions influence their outcomes. This is exemplified by the advice to say no without guilt and to prioritize personal happiness, such as insisting on receiving two scoops of ice cream when one has paid for them.

💡Boundaries

Boundaries are the limits or rules that individuals set to protect their personal space, time, and resources. In the video, setting clear boundaries is presented as a way to gain respect, as it communicates to others what behaviors are acceptable and what are not. An example given is discussing house rules with a friend who may not be respecting the speaker's home.

💡Niceness

Niceness, as discussed in the video, refers to being kind and considerate. However, the video points out that being nice should not come at the expense of one's own happiness or well-being. It is important to recognize when to prioritize oneself over others, as this can prevent being taken advantage of and maintain a balance in relationships.

💡Assertiveness

Assertiveness is the ability to express one's thoughts, feelings, and needs in a confident and direct manner. The video encourages speaking up and not allowing others to interrupt or ignore one's contributions in a conversation. This is tied to gaining respect, as it demonstrates confidence and the expectation of being heard.

💡Over-Apologizing

Over-apologizing is the habit of saying sorry too frequently, even for things that are not one's fault. The video suggests that this can undermine one's credibility and perceived strength, leading others to view one as submissive. It advises being mindful of when and how often apologies are given to maintain self-respect and command respect from others.

💡Confident Body Language

Confident body language includes maintaining good posture, making eye contact, and using gestures that convey self-assurance. The video highlights that such non-verbal communication can command respect and prevent others from underestimating or disregarding one's presence, as it sends a message of self-assuredness and authority.

💡Internal Locus of Control

Internal locus of control refers to the belief that one's actions, abilities, or decisions are the primary determinants of the outcomes in their life. The video mentions this concept to illustrate the importance of self-respect, suggesting that individuals with a strong internal locus of control are more likely to take charge of their lives and, consequently, earn the respect of others.

💡Mental Health

Mental health is the state of well-being in which an individual realizes their own potential, copes with the normal stresses of life, and works productively and fruitfully. The video implies that self-respect and setting boundaries contribute to mental health by fostering a sense of control and self-efficacy, which are essential for maintaining healthy relationships and self-esteem.

💡Healthy Relationships

Healthy relationships are characterized by mutual respect, trust, and support. The video emphasizes the importance of nurturing such relationships by setting boundaries, being assertive, and not over-apologizing. These practices help ensure that one's needs are met and that the relationship is balanced, leading to greater respect and satisfaction for both parties.

💡Self-Care

Self-care involves taking actions to preserve or improve one's well-being. The video advocates for self-care as a form of self-respect, suggesting that taking time for oneself and prioritizing personal happiness, like enjoying two scoops of ice cream, is a way to demonstrate self-worth and to encourage others to respect one's boundaries.

Highlights

Respect yourself first to gain respect from others.

Loving yourself and giving yourself the respect you deserve is crucial.

Having an internal locus of control is key for mental health.

Practice self-respect by allowing yourself to say no without guilt.

Prioritize what's important in your life and protect yourself from being taken advantage of.

Set clear boundaries to maintain respect in your relationships.

You don't have to be nice all the time; it's okay to put yourself first.

Speak up and use conversational tricks to ensure you're heard.

Avoid over-apologizing, as it can be perceived as submissive.

Display confident body language to command respect.

Use hand gestures and maintain eye contact to convey your message effectively.

Stand tall with good posture to show you can't be pushed around.

Don't let guilt control your actions; allow yourself to relax and enjoy your own company.

If you're not in the mood to socialize, it's okay to decline invitations without feeling guilty.

When you're treated disrespectfully, assert yourself and ask for what you deserve.

Create your own happiness and don't rely solely on others for your well-being.

If you're feeling disrespected, consider using these tips to improve your situation.

Transcripts

(light upbeat music)

(beeps)

- [Amanda] Do you often find yourself

being taken advantage of?

Perhaps you're often talked down to

and treated as less than.

Sometimes people can be harsh and judgmental.

And you may feel as if they don't hold any respect for you.

(chuckles)

It's not always nice to hang around

those who don't value you.

So, if given the chance,

it may be best to simply walk away,

and say good riddance.

But, if you find you're always being subtly treated this way

maybe you'd like to adopt some behaviors to gain respect.

You can still be you.

You just simply respect yourself enough,

to not let others walk all over you.

Sound like a plan?

Okay.

Here are six ways to get people to respect you.

Number one, respect yourself first.

We should all learn to love ourselves.

And in doing so,

give us the respect we deserve.

Often at times we can be too harsh on ourselves,

and let our insecurities and dark thoughts take the lead.

But do away with them.

With a little practice self-respect,

you can be on your way to thinking higher of yourself

and loving you in the process.

Many researchers, such as Herbert M. Lefcourt,

state that having a sense of internal locus of control,

over our own lives,

is a key condition for our mental health.

Locus of control,

refers to how much someone feels a sense of agency

towards their life.

Someone with an internal locus of control

believes the things that happened to them

are strongly influenced by their own actions,

abilities or mistakes.

To practice self-respect,

you must first allow yourself to say no,

without feeling guilty.

Prioritize what is important in your life.

Protect yourself.

And choose to keep only healthy relationships.

It's key to not let others take advantage of you.

And make sure you get what you pay for in life.

So if you're at an ice cream stand,

and you paid for two scoops of ice cream,

and only received one,

instead of brushing it off,

simply ask that you receive that extra chocolate scoop,

and don't feel guilty about it.

It's just ice cream, and you're hungry.

Your priority right now is to satisfy your appetite.

And guess what?

Ice cream is the way.

Two scoops please.

Furthermore, it's important to know

you can create your own happiness,

not just others.

This is a form of self-respect as well.

So go ahead and enjoy those two scoops.

You respect yourself too much to not appreciate them

and you.

Number two, set clear boundaries.

It's important to set boundaries for ourselves and others.

Let's say your friend often comes over to your house

for movie night.

You love and care for your friend.

But they aren't the most respectful guests.

They put their feet up on your coffee table.

They bring their dog fleas over.

They eat most of your food

and they leave Cheeto Puff remains

on your furniture, everywhere.

Do they respect you?

It doesn't look like it.

A good step would be to set some boundaries

for when company comes over.

And discuss them with your dear friend.

You can be kind when discussing this with them

and consider their point of view as well.

But it's your home,

and it's ultimately your rules.

So tell them they can't keep scavenging through your fridge.

Fleas must be on a leash,

and to keep their cheese-filled hands to themselves.

Not on the furniture.

And pause off the table, fleas.

Number three,

understand you don't have to be nice all the time.

Who wouldn't wanna be nice when they want to?

But when you feel like you have to,

at the expense of your own happiness,

it's not a good idea.

Sadly, a lot of people think,

they can take advantage of those who are kind to them.

This doesn't mean you have to stop being a good person.

Just simply know when you must put yourself first,

and also don't feel guilty about it all the time.

You may think that if you don't do

every favor your friend asks of you,

they might not like you anymore.

But what kind of friend is that?

You may feel guilty

if you don't accept your friend's invitation

to hang out every time.

But you just got snuggled into a bubble bath.

You just like to be alone tonight.

Perhaps you don't allow yourself to not smile.

So you throw on a contrived smile

before you go out the door,

even when you're having a bad day,

as great as smiling feels.

A forced smile can't always make you feel better.

Allow yourself to admit you're having a bad day.

You don't need to be in a certain mood for anyone.

Allowing unnecessary guilt to take control

can leave you associating these one's happy actions

with something forced and uncomfortable.

Practice assuring yourself,

that if you allow yourself,

the guilt free time to relax first,

you'll only feel happier

when the time comes to hang out with your friend next.

Number four, speak up.

Many of us often have shy personalities.

So doing all the talking during a group conversation

may not be our thing.

But just because you're shy,

doesn't mean you should let others interrupt you.

If others often interrupt you,

or appear as if they aren't listening,

there's some tricks you can use to make yourself heard.

First, try saying the name of the person

you're speaking to mid conversation.

Similar to the cocktail party effect,

we will often have our attention pulled back to reality

when our names are heard.

Such as when we're at a cocktail party

and here our name in the distance.

You know how your music teacher would always say your name

mid sentence to regain your attention?

We're doing the same thing here.

Another trick is to often use hand gestures,

and give an equal amount of eye contact to everyone.

Using hand gestures grabs attention,

and strongly conveys your message.

Eye contact.

If someone was looking into the depths of your soul,

you'd be bound to notice.

Just make sure you give everyone,

equal amounts of eye contact.

Maybe no soul staring today.

Number five, don't over-apologize.

Do you often find yourself apologizing

for something that wasn't even your fault?

It may just become habit to say, sorry

when something goes wrong.

You may only wanna say it to not be unkind.

But your words should carry weight, especially in apology.

If you apologize too often,

your sorry maybe viewed as nothing to others

who hear it too often.

And unfortunately,

over-apologizing can be a sign to others

that you are submissive.

Sooner or later, they'll assume,

you'll be the one to take the blame.

Or that you're too nice to speak up

if they walk all over you.

Some common things we unnecessarily apologize for.

If you don't wanna do a favor, don't apologize.

It's a favor.

If you have an opposing opinion,

agree to disagree.

It's your opinion.

Stand by it.

Remember, you don't have to be unkind.

Say sorry, when sorry is do.

But be conscious of how often

and how unnecessarily you do say it.

And number six,

display confident body language.

Confidence is key.

And that's what people often say.

And it can be very true most times.

If you want to command respect,

a good way is to let your body language show,

that you can't be pushed around.

Quite literally too.

Strong stance and good posture won't send you toppling over

if bumped into.

So, use good posture and stand up tall,

make good eye contact when listening and speaking.

Crossing our arms is often seem as defensive.

So it's best to relax them by your side.

Carry your head high and eyes forward,

instead of looking to the ground.

Observe the scene at a party,

don't be afraid to people watch.

And it's a party after all.

And remember those hand gestures,

continue to use them while speaking.

And you'll be as confident

and respected as an Italian chef at a pizzeria.

Mamma Mia.

(chuckles)

Sorry.

Too much ice cream and pizza.

Oops, not sorry.

So, do you often feel disrespected?

Will you use these tips?

Do you say sorry, often?

Let us know about a time where you felt disrespected.

Which tips would you use to command the respect of others?

Share with us in the comments below.

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