How to influence people.

Summary

In this impassioned speech, the speaker underscores the paramount importance of communication as the key to leadership and influence. They delve into the art of persuasion, asserting that it extends beyond sales to include shaping actions and perspectives. The speaker shares insights on how to effectively persuade, emphasizing the need to understand an individual's motivations, intent, desired outcomes, and the justness of the cause. They illustrate this with a recruitment narrative, highlighting the power of aligning personal aspirations with a greater purpose.

Takeaways

• 🗣️ The most important gift and tool for leaders is communication, as it is essential for influencing others.
• 🎯 Communication aims to either persuade someone to take action or change their perspective.
• 💼 Selling is a part of persuasion, but the art of persuasion is broader and includes various methods to influence others.
• 🌱 Rapid business growth requires creating leaders who can not only perform tasks but also inspire and persuade.
• 💡 Understanding the motivations of an audience is crucial for effective communication and persuasion.
• 🚀 Intent refers to the impact a person wants to have, which is different from their motivation for taking action.
• 🌟 The end state or desired outcome is a key component in persuading others, as it provides a vision of the future.
• 📈 A just cause underpins effective persuasion, making the audience believe in the righteousness of the goal.
• 🌱 The speaker uses a real-life example of recruiting a candidate to illustrate how to apply motivation, intent, and desired outcome in a persuasive conversation.
• 🔥 Passion and conviction in communication are infectious and can significantly influence others to join a cause or take action.

Q & A

What is considered the single most important gift in the world according to the speaker?

The speaker considers the gift of communication as the single most important gift in the world.

Why is communication essential for leaders?

Communication is essential for leaders because they cannot influence where they cannot communicate, making it a critical skill for leadership.

What are the two primary reasons humans communicate according to the speaker?

Humans communicate primarily to either get someone to do something they want them to do or to get someone to see something from their perspective.

How does the speaker relate sales to persuasion?

The speaker sees sales as a part of persuasion, where it involves getting someone to see value and take action on that perceived value.

What is the broader concept that includes the art of sales, according to the speaker?

The broader concept that includes the art of sales is persuasion, which the speaker describes as a broader science.

Why is it important for the speaker to help their team learn how to communicate?

It is important for the speaker to help their team learn how to communicate because they are growing rapidly and the speaker needs to create leaders who can inspire and persuade.

What is the speaker's self-assessed strength in the context of communication?

The speaker believes their strength lies in their ability to persuade, which they consider a gift they are unequaled in.

What is the first part of the process to learn how to influence and persuade, as mentioned by the speaker?

The first part of the process to learn how to influence and persuade is to understand motivations, which are the reasons behind people's actions.

What is the difference between motivation and intent according to the speaker?

Motivation is why people do what they do, while intent is the impact they want to have or the outcome they desire.

What does the speaker suggest is necessary for a cause to inspire people?

The speaker suggests that for a cause to inspire people, it must be a just cause, one that is rooted and grounded in people's perspective of the world.

How does the speaker illustrate the application of understanding motivation, intent, and desired outcome in a real-life scenario?

The speaker illustrates this by discussing a recruitment conversation with a candidate named Claire, where he connects her potential role with the company's mission to a broader impact on Africa's future.

Outlines

00:00

🗣️ The Power of Communication

The speaker emphasizes the paramount importance of communication as the most crucial tool for leaders to influence others. They argue that without effective communication, it's impossible to lead or persuade. The speaker discusses the purpose of communication, which is often to either motivate action or alter perspectives. They touch on the broader concept of persuasion, which encompasses more than just sales. The speaker shares their personal experience in teaching communication skills to their team, especially as their business grows rapidly, and the need to create leaders who can inspire and persuade. The speaker also mentions their own strength in persuasion and hints at a scientific approach to learning communication.

05:01

🧠 Understanding Motivation and Intent

This paragraph delves into the first part of effective communication: understanding the motivations of the audience. The speaker suggests that every action is driven by a motivation, whether explicit or implicit. They stress the importance of being interested in the audience's motivations and using that knowledge to persuade and influence. The speaker also introduces the concept of 'intent', which is the desired impact one wants to have. They use the example of Martin Luther King Jr.'s 'I Have a Dream' speech to illustrate the power of communicating a clear and compelling end state or desired outcome. The speaker also emphasizes the need for the cause to be just and worth pursuing, which is essential for effective persuasion.

10:03

🌟 Persuasion Through Personal Impact

The speaker shares a personal anecdote about recruiting a candidate for a capital-raising role. They describe the candidate's background and the challenge of persuading someone with many opportunities to join their team. The speaker uses the candidate's personal connection to Nigeria as a point of persuasion, discussing the potential impact she could have by joining their mission to develop leadership in Africa. The speaker outlines the company's plans to invest in education and development, emphasizing the just cause of improving the continent. The conversation is framed around the candidate's potential legacy and the difference she could make, rather than the company's immediate needs or benefits.

15:04

🔥 The Art of Persuasive Communication

In the final paragraph, the speaker reflects on the conversation with the candidate, highlighting the importance of aligning personal motivations, intent, and desired outcomes with a just cause. They encourage the audience to apply these principles in their own lives and businesses, emphasizing the effectiveness of this approach in persuasion and leadership. The speaker concludes with an invitation for feedback and a farewell, expressing enthusiasm and passion for the topic.

Keywords

💡Communication

Communication is defined as the process of exchanging information, ideas, or feelings through speech, writing, or other modes of expression. In the video, the speaker emphasizes that communication is the most important gift and tool for leaders, as it is the foundation for influencing others. The speaker uses the concept of communication to explain how leaders can persuade and inspire their teams, as well as to share their vision with others.

💡Persuasion

Persuasion refers to the act of convincing someone to believe or do something. The video discusses persuasion as a broader science than just sales, involving the ability to influence others' actions or perspectives. The speaker illustrates this by explaining how to persuade investors to back a venture, which is central to the video's theme of effective communication.

💡Motivation

Motivation is the reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way. The speaker in the video explains that understanding the motivations of an audience is crucial for effective persuasion. The speaker uses the example of why people go to the gym or choose certain cars, suggesting that all actions are driven by underlying motivations.

💡Intent

Intent refers to the aim or plan behind an action. In the context of the video, intent is described as the impact a person wants to have, which is different from their motivation. The speaker uses the example of their own intent as a venture capitalist, which is to build a better Africa, to show how intent can guide actions and decisions.

💡End State

End state is the desired outcome or the final condition that one is aiming for. The video uses Martin Luther King Jr.'s 'I Have a Dream' speech as an example of setting an end state, which is a powerful tool in persuasion. The speaker connects the concept to the importance of having a clear vision when persuading others to join a cause or a project.

💡Just Cause

A just cause is a righteous or morally right reason for undertaking a particular action. The video emphasizes that for persuasion to be effective, the cause must be just and resonate with the audience's values. The speaker argues that a just cause is essential for inspiring people to take action and make sacrifices for a common goal.

💡Capital Raising

Capital raising is the process of accumulating investment capital from various sources. In the video, the speaker discusses capital raising as part of the broader theme of persuasion, as it involves convincing investors to support a business venture. The speaker's personal experience with capital raising is used to illustrate the practical application of communication and persuasion skills.

💡Influence

Influence is the capacity to have an effect on someone or something. The video underscores the importance of influence as a key outcome of effective communication. The speaker suggests that leaders must learn to communicate in a way that influences others to take the desired actions or adopt certain perspectives.

💡Leadership

Leadership is the act of leading a group of people or an organization. The video discusses leadership in the context of creating and inspiring others, with a focus on the communication skills necessary to persuade and influence. The speaker's narrative on developing leaders within their organization highlights the role of communication in leadership.

💡Desired Outcome

Desired outcome refers to the specific result or goal that one is aiming to achieve. In the video, the speaker connects the concept of desired outcomes to the process of persuasion, explaining that understanding and communicating the desired outcome is essential for motivating and inspiring others to act.

Highlights

The gift of communication is the single most important gift in the world.

Leadership is impossible without the ability to communicate effectively.

The primary purpose of communication is to influence others to take action or change perspective.

Persuasion is a broader science than just sales, which is a transactional aspect of persuasion.

As the business grows, the importance of teaching leaders to communicate and persuade increases.

Capital raising is an exercise in persuasion, aiming to align investors' views with your vision.

The speaker believes their greatest gift is the ability to persuade.

Learning to communicate effectively involves understanding the scientific process behind it.

Understanding motivations is the first step in learning to influence and persuade.

Intent refers to the impact individuals want to have, which is different from their motivations.

Desired outcome, or end state, is a critical component in persuasive communication.

A just cause is essential for inspiring people and persuading them to join a mission.

The speaker provides a live example of persuading a candidate to join their venture.

The candidate's personal connection to Nigeria is used to align her motivations with the company's mission.

The leadership foundation is introduced as a just cause to attract top talent.

The speaker emphasizes the long-term impact and legacy of the candidate's potential decision.

The conversation concludes with an invitation for the candidate to reflect on her life's impact.

Transcripts

hello

family

hey guys

i wanted to uh come into your space

today

uh to share the following with you

so

the single most important gift in the

world in my mind is the gift of

communication

the greatest tool of influence all

leaders have

is communication

you cannot influence where you cannot

communicate it's impossible

so learning to communicate is a critical

skill for any of you who think of

yourselves as leaders

right of course

learn to communicate

but if you would learn to communicate

the question becomes communicate for

what purpose what's the outcome

99 of the time

the reason we human beings communicate

is to either

get somebody to do something we want

them to do

or to get somebody to see something we

want them to see

so either i want you to take action

or i want to change your perspective

but either way to do both of these

things i need to communicate i need to

influence i need to as the language says

persuade

[Music]

so i hear terms like selling and um

selling is a portion of how you persuade

but the art of persuasion is much bigger

than just the art of sales sales at the

end of the day is how you transact it's

how i get you to not only see value but

take action on the value that you see

persuasion though

or persuasion is uh

it's a broader science

i spend a lot of time in our business

internally with my own team

helping in particular

my management and executive team

learn how to communicate

the reason this is important is because

we've been growing fairly rapidly of

late

and i've been stepping up

the level at which i serve in the

organization

and as i step up i've had to create

leaders

to take over some of the things i used

to do

and the only way to do this is not only

if you capacitate the leaders to do the

job

but it's also if you capacitate the

leaders

to inspire

to enthuse

to persuade

which means i've had to learn

how do you take a manager who's good at

reading a spreadsheet

and teach them

how to communicate

and inspire people

how to persuade

as we speak

i'm busy capital raising we're busy

capital raising

which is such a funny experience really

but you know the art of capital raising

is just the art of persuasion

it's getting investors whether they're

institutional lps family offices or high

net worth to see the world the way you

see the world and back your thesis

it's persuasion

it's communication

and if there's one thing i'm good at

it is this

if there is a single gift

that god has given me

a gift

where i genuinely and honestly believe i

am unequaled

it's my ability

to persuade

but if you were to do it

how would you do it

what's the formula for learning how to

communicate

it's actually scientific

there is a process you can follow

and if you follow the process

you'll get the outcome

the first part of that process is to

understand motivations

everybody does something because

everybody

wants something

we're human beings we're creatures of

incentive

you don't go to the gym and

sweat and bust your ass just because

you're bored you go there because

somebody served you ads

of somebody who looked really good

physically

and you bought the picture that if i

look like this i'm gonna feel happier

the car you drive is because somebody

served you an ad saying if you drive

this car you might be happier

even the school that you send your kids

to you send them to that school

because you either believe it's going to

give them the best education or it

prepares them for the future or but

everything you believe about the school

you were persuaded

you were told

so there is an implicit motivation for

the things you're doing

there are some things we do as human

beings where the motivation is clearly

explicit

then there are some things where the

motivation

is implicit

but make no mistake

there is motivation there

so the first part of learning how to

influence and persuade

is to be interested

in your audience

and not just this be interested in

what's motivating your audience

to want to talk to you

so i'm fascinated by you watching this

video right now

why are you watching it

what do you hope to learn

it's a trade-off you're giving me your

time and attention

and i'm serving contents on top of mind

in your head right now

but there is a motivation there

the motivation for me is i want to

remain top of mind for you

what's the motivation for you

why are you

here

so the first part then of learning how

to arc story and how to persuade

is to understand

the internal implicit motivation

of the audience the person with whom

you're dealing

having a

conversation the second thing to

understand when you really want to learn

how to persuade an influence

is intent

so motivation is why people do what they

do

intent is what impact do they want to

have their true intent their motive

their um the outcome they desire

here is a great way to think of it

my motivation

uh for being

a

my motivation for being a venture

capitalist is that i

am excited about the future and i love

partnering with founders

um

and i genuinely believe that i can make

a difference in working with founders

building the future

my intent

would be

building a better africa

so once you understand the motivation

why people do what they do

the intent

is then around what is the impact that

they want to have

[Music]

now you've got to arc these into the

conversation with the person and i'm

going to give you an example of how you

do that

in a minute

the third

is what is

the end state

the desired outcome

the end state

in the most iconic speech of the 20th

century martin luther king said i have a

dream

in fact he says

i have a dream

that one day

the sons of former slaves and the sons

of former slave owners

will they be able to break bread in the

table of brotherhood i have a dream

today

what did he say he had

a dream

what was he selling

an end state

a desired

outcome

motivation

why do you do what you do

intent

what's the impact that you want to have

desired outcome

where are we going

and why do we want to go there

so how do you

then

into

something that really inspires people

well to arc them you have to base them

all on one thing which is that the cause

as simon sinek says has to be a just

cause

people have to believe that the cause is

worth pursuing you can't just

i have a dream

but the cause is not worth pursuing it's

got to be real rooted and grounded

in in people's perspective of the world

and if it's not then you've got to

communicate it in a manner that it

becomes that

it's got to seem like a just cause

i want to build an electric car company

why because we're destroying the planet

i want to build a payment gateway

company why because it's hard for

entrepreneurs to facilitate payments

across africa

i want to build an edtech business why

because education is prohibitively

expensive for the poor

and i want to make it affordable

it's got to be a just

cause

so how do you arch these

into a story

how do you arch these into a

conversation of persuasion

with your client

with your staff your employees

with your partner and your spouse

i'm going to give you a live example of

something i did the other day

so

i've been recruiting

been looking for

somebody who's going to help us with

capital raising

it's not an easy thing to do

and typically people who do this

are very very good

very well technically trained

very connected

and have tons amount of opportunity

they can work in many places

but not just this

they're also very expensive

and you know we're kind of at that

hockey stick

of our growth curve right so we're we're

here we're like building up to the

future but you know

we're managing costs compared we are

managing costs

so

so i was talking to a particular

candidate

and this candidate you know they like

you know they've just finished a stint

working at one of the leading investment

banks in the world

they want to take three months

sabbatical and really think about their

future where they want to go

they've got an mba from

waterloo and like smart smart kid

there's an mba i think an undergrad from

waterloo and mba from

i want to say mit or something like this

really really smart young lady

so we get to the part of the

conversation

where it's my my turn so she's told me a

bit about her

it's my turn to convince her now

that she should come and do this with us

and recognize i'm asking her

to surrender a decade of her life

because that's how long it's going to

take

at least five years

and that's if we're in a good innings

so i said the following to her

i said to her

tell me a bit about the place you grew

up in

in abuja she's nigerian

and she starts telling me about this

place she grew up in abuja

and

the friends she had and where her

friends are now

and i said when was the last time you

went home she says no i go home fairly

often i go visit and i see friends and

mom and dad and family and granddad etc

etc

and i said to her

i said do you think

that abuja today

is the best version

of itself

do you think given the skills

competencies and talents

of the people that emanate

from abuja

it's the best it can be right now she

said no of course not come on

i was like and why not

she said well frankly

because the top talent

doesn't always enjoy

the seats of power to influence things

the way it needs to influence them

like

situation what would i say what would

you say if i said to you

that if you came on board and you helped

us do this

one of the things we've got attached to

this fund is we're building a leadership

foundation

and 20 of the carried interest of this

leadership of the fund

20 of the carried interest

is going to be transferred into the

leadership foundation

and we're going to use the capital in

the foundation

to identify

educate

and accelerate

young leaders across africa

young boys and young girls

we're going to send them into

engineering school we're going to send

them into political school finance

school medicine school

with a single idea

that once they complete their education

they must come back into the continent

and build it

and then i said to her

and we're not the only ones to do this

there's several other foundations doing

this as we speak

the difference is we're not going to

wait

until we're worth a billion dollars in

valuation

we're going to start doing it the minute

we start making our carried interest

so the reason i need you to come on

board name is claire the reason i need

you to come on board claire

because i believe you can help us raise

capital with the right investors to take

us to that point

and once we've reached that i believe

that you can become a critical part of

our investment team to ensure that we

identify the right companies that give

us the right exit multiples so that we

can best better the chances of

capitalizing that leadership foundation

and building the future we want to build

claire

you can work

anywhere you can go and work at wall

street

and they will pay you 10 times what i

can afford to pay you hell they'll

probably pay you 10 10 times more than

i'm earning

but

when you're 50 years old

and you look back at your life

and you think about this inflection

point

you will ask yourself the question

how have i lived

what impact did i leave behind

did i use my skills

to leave my people my country my world

a better place

only you will know the answer to that

question

but i think that if you came on board

with us

the answer would be yes

and that was it

we ended the call

i still haven't heard back from claire

hopefully by the time she watches this

she would have come back and said yes

but realize the whole conversation about

why she should join what we're doing

wasn't about us i didn't say this is the

business plan these are the outcomes i

was like what's her motivation

what's the intent what's the desired

outcome

and how do i base it on a just cause

so go back

go back into your own business into your

own life look at some of the things

you're doing

and ask and answer for yourself

the question

motivation

intent

desired outcome

just cause

that's how you persuade

that's how you communicate

that

is how you lead

i'm on fire right i know i know i can

literally hear this boy is on fire

[Laughter]

all right family i hope you've enjoyed

that

have a kick-ass time

leave a comment below and tell me some

of the things you'd like to hear from us

in future

cheers