Why It's So Easy to Keep a Bad Habit

Theo Von Clips
10 Jan 202409:57

Summary

TLDREl guion de video explora cómo las necesidades humanas fundamentales, como la comodidad, la certeza, la variedad y la importancia, influyen en comportamientos adictivos como fumar. Se discute cómo el cambio puede ser difícil debido al miedo a la insuficiencia y la falta de amor, pero también se presenta la posibilidad de satisfacer estas necesidades de manera positiva a través de actividades como el ejercicio. Se enfatiza la importancia de reconocer y abordar estas necesidades para lograr un cambio duradero en la vida, destacando el proceso de transformación que incluye la saciedad, la insatisfacción, el umbral y la visión.

Takeaways

  • 🚬 La adicción a actividades como fumar puede ser una forma de mantener un escudo que impide el cambio personal, ya que proporciona un pretexto para no asumir responsabilidades.
  • 🧠 La mayoría de las personas tiene seis necesidades básicas: comodidad y certeza, variedad, importancia, conexión y amor, y crecimiento y contribución.
  • 🔄 La comodidad y la certeza son necesidades que a menudo buscamos satisfacer, pero también es necesario tener incertidumbre y variedad en la vida para evitar el aburrimiento.
  • 🏃‍♂️ Cambiar hábitos dañinos, como el fumar, requiere de arriesgar y enfrentar el miedo al fracaso, ya que esto puede llevar a sentirnos inservibles o no dignos de amor.
  • 💡 La transformación personal ocurre cuando se alcanza un umbral de insatisfacción, se tiene una revelación y se toma acción antes de que se cierre la ventana de oportunidad.
  • 🌱 Las actividades saludables, como el ejercicio, pueden satisfacer varias necesidades y ser una alternativa positiva a las adicciones, mejorando la bioquímica y la calidad de vida.
  • 🤔 Muchas personas no saben ni siquiera cuáles son sus necesidades, lo que dificulta el reconocimiento de lo que realmente les hace falta en la vida.
  • 🤝 En las relaciones, a menudo se da lo que no se necesita, lo que lleva a la insatisfacción y al eventual abandono, en lugar de proporcionar lo que realmente satisface las necesidades del otro.
  • 🔄 La variabilidad en las actividades y en la vida en general es esencial para el crecimiento y para mantener la motivación y la satisfacción.
  • 💡 La autoconciencia y la honestidad con uno mismo son cruciales para identificar y expresar las necesidades personales, lo que a su vez puede mejorar las relaciones y la felicidad.

Q & A

  • ¿Por qué a veces no queremos cambiar algo en nuestra vida?

    -A veces no queremos cambiar porque queremos mantener una excusa para culpar algo por nuestra ineficiencia. Es una forma de adaptación subconsciente para sentirnos seguros y justificar nuestro comportamiento.

  • ¿Cuáles son las seis necesidades que todos los seres humanos tienen según el guion?

    -Las seis necesidades son: confort o certeza, variedad, sentirse significativo, conectar y amar, crecer y contribuir más allá de uno mismo.

  • ¿Por qué la falta de amor de alguien que uno desea puede ser tan dolorosa?

    -La falta de amor de alguien que uno desea puede ser dolorosa porque sientirse insuficiente para alguien que uno ama puede provocar una sensación de que no se merece amor, lo cual es como una 'muerte psicológica'.

  • ¿Cómo podemos cambiar un comportamiento dañino como el fumar?

    -Para cambiar un comportamiento dañino, podemos tomar riesgos y empezar una nueva actividad que nos dé confort y certeza de otra manera, como hacer ejercicio, construir un negocio o participar en un proyecto.

  • ¿Por qué el fumar puede ser una forma de satisfacer varias necesidades a la vez?

    -El fumar puede satisfacer necesidades como el confort y la certeza, la variedad al cambiar el estado emocional, la importancia al ser visto como 'cool' por algunos, y la conexión al compartir la experiencia con otros fumadores.

  • ¿Qué sucede si no encontramos una forma saludable de satisfacer nuestras necesidades?

    -Si no encontramos una forma saludable de satisfacer nuestras necesidades, podemos recurrir a comportamientos autodestructivos o adictivos que nos proporcionen un sentido de confort, certeza o importancia temporal.

  • ¿Cómo el ejercicio puede ser una alternativa positiva al fumar?

    -El ejercicio puede ser una alternativa positiva al fumar porque también puede proporcionar confort, certeza, variedad, importancia, conexión y un sentido de crecimiento y contribución.

  • ¿Por qué es importante saber nuestras necesidades y ser honestos con nosotros mismos sobre ellas?

    -Es importante saber nuestras necesidades y ser honestos con nosotros mismos porque si no lo hacemos, podemos no ser capaces de satisfacerlas de manera efectiva y esto puede llevar a insatisfacción y comportamientos de adicción.

  • ¿Cómo el cambio en la vida puede ser impulsado por un 'umbral' emocional?

    -Un 'umbral' emocional es un punto crítico donde la insatisfacción se convierte en dolor y se reconoce que el comportamiento actual es insostenible. Es el punto donde uno decide que debe cambiar para evitar más dolor.

  • ¿Qué es la 'química de la transformación' y cómo ayuda a la gente a cambiar?

    -La 'química de la transformación' son cinco elementos que, cuando están presentes, pueden llevar a las personas a transformar su vida: saciedad, insatisfacción, umbral, visión y acción. Estos elementos ayudan a la gente a reconocer sus necesidades y a tomar la decisión de cambiar.

  • ¿Por qué es importante 'saltar a través de la abertura' cuando se tiene una visión clara de lo que necesita cambiar?

    -Es importante 'saltar a través de la abertura' porque es el momento en que se tiene la oportunidad de actuar sobre la visión y de hacer un cambio real. Si no se actúa, la oportunidad puede cerrarse y se debe volver a pasar por el proceso de transformación.

Outlines

00:00

🚫 La Resistencia al Cambio y las Necesidades Humanas

El primer párrafo explora la resistencia al cambio en el comportamiento humano, como el fumar, y cómo algunas personas se aferran a comportamientos dañinos por tener un pretexto para culpar sus fracasos. Se menciona que todas nuestras acciones satisfacen una de las seis necesidades básicas humanas: confort, certeza, variedad, importancia, conexión y amor, y crecimiento. Se discute cómo el miedo a ser insuficiente y no ser amado es una forma de 'muerte psicológica', y cómo las personas adoptan comportamientos que les brindan confort y seguridad, como el fumar, aunque esto implique un riesgo de fracaso y de ser vistos como sin valor. Además, se destaca la importancia de la variedad en la vida y cómo el equilibrio entre las necesidades humanas puede llevar a la adicción o a la satisfacción.

05:00

🏃 Caminar Hacia el Cambio y la Transformación Personal

El segundo párrafo narra la experiencia del hablante que decide dejar de usar medicamentos y cómo, en su lugar, comienza a correr, lo cual le proporciona una sensación de bienestar y una oportunidad para explorar sus emociones. Se discute cómo el correr puede satisfacer varias de las necesidades humanas, como el confort, la certeza, la variedad, la importancia y el crecimiento, y cómo este nuevo hábito puede ser más satisfactorio y beneficioso que el consumo de medicamentos. Además, se introduce la idea de la 'química de la transformación', que incluye la saciedad, la insatisfacción, el umbral, la visión y la apertura para el cambio, y cómo estas etapas son cruciales para que las personas se muevan hacia un cambio positivo en su vida.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Excusa

Una excusa es una razón o argumento que alguien ofrece para justificar su comportamiento o falta de acción. En el guion, se menciona que el hablante no quería dejar de fumar porque tenía una excusa para culpar sus problemas de eficiencia. Esto ilustra cómo las excusas pueden ser un mecanismo de defensa para evitar el cambio o la mejora personal.

💡Necesidades

Las necesidades son requisitos esenciales que impulsan el comportamiento humano. En el guion, se discuten seis necesidades fundamentales: comodidad, certeza, variedad, importancia, conexión y amor, y crecimiento. Estas necesidades son el motor detrás de las acciones y elecciones de las personas, como se ve en el ejemplo de fumar, que puede satisfacer la necesidad de comodidad y certeza.

💡Miedo

El miedo es una emoción que se menciona como un factor que limita el cambio personal. En el guion, se explica que el miedo a no ser suficiente o a no ser amado es un miedo profundo que puede conducir a comportamientos autodestructivos. Este miedo actúa como un obstáculo para la toma de riesgos y el crecimiento personal.

💡Riesgo

Un riesgo es la posibilidad de que algo salga mal o que se pierdan oportunidades. En el contexto del guion, el riesgo está asociado con la toma de decisiones que podrían llevar a la mejora personal, como dejar de fumar o comenzar un nuevo proyecto. El hablante menciona que tomar riesgos puede parecer como una muestra de fracaso o falta de valía, pero es necesario para el cambio.

💡Adicción

La adicción es una dependencia psicológica o física de una sustancia o comportamiento. En el guion, se discute cómo el fumar puede ser una adicción que satisface múltiples necesidades, como la comodidad, la certeza y la variedad. La adicción se convierte en un ciclo difícil de romper debido a cómo la sustancia o comportamiento afecta la bioquímica del cuerpo.

💡Cambio

El cambio es el proceso de transformar o modificar algo. El guion explora cómo el cambio personal requiere reconocer la necesidad de algo más allá de lo que se está haciendo actualmente, como se ve cuando el hablante decide dejar de fumar y buscar una alternativa saludable como el ejercicio.

💡Ejercicio

El ejercicio es una actividad física que se menciona como una alternativa positiva al fumar para satisfacer las necesidades de comodidad, certeza y crecimiento. En el guion, el ejercicio se presenta como una forma de mejorar la bioquímica y el estado emocional, proporcionando un 'alto' saludable y contribuyendo al bienestar general.

💡Contribución

La contribución es el acto de dar algo de valor a otros o a una causa mayor. En el guion, se sugiere que el crecimiento personal y la mejora de la calidad de vida pueden llevar a una mayor contribución a los demás, ya que las personas con necesidades satisfechas están en una mejor posición para dar apoyo y amor.

💡Insight

El insight es una comprensión profunda o una revelación que puede llevar a un cambio de perspectiva. En el guion, el insight se presenta como un elemento crucial en el proceso de transformación personal, donde el hablante tiene una revelación sobre su dependencia de los medicamentos y decide tomar acción para cambiar su vida.

💡Umbral

Un umbral es un punto de no retorno o un límite que, una vez cruzado, impide que las cosas vuelvan a la normalidad anterior. En el contexto del guion, el umbral es un punto crítico donde el hablante se da cuenta de que su situación actual (como el fumar o la dependencia de medicamentos) es insostenible y decide tomar un cambio drástico.

Highlights

The subconscious desire to maintain habits like smoking as an excuse for inefficiency.

Six fundamental human needs: comfort/certainty, variety, significance, connection/love, growth, and contribution.

Fear of feeling 'not enough' and its psychological impact on seeking love and validation.

Adapting behaviors to meet needs, such as smoking for comfort and certainty.

The importance of taking risks and facing the possibility of failure to induce change.

How overeating can serve as a substitute for smoking by providing a similar physiological response.

The necessity of uncertainty and variety in life to avoid boredom and maintain mental health.

The concept of addiction to behaviors that meet multiple needs, both positive and negative.

The role of relationships in meeting needs for certainty, variety, significance, and love.

The challenge of identifying and expressing one's own needs in a relationship.

The importance of replacing harmful habits with healthier alternatives that meet the same needs.

Running as an example of a positive habit that can meet multiple needs, including comfort, significance, and growth.

The five elements of personal transformation: satiation, dissatisfaction, threshold, insight, and action.

The process of hitting a personal threshold as a catalyst for change.

The significance of insight in recognizing that change must come from within.

The fleeting nature of opportunities for change and the importance of seizing them.

Transcripts

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what's something like I noticed like

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there's been times in my past where it's

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like I think I didn't want to change

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because I wanted to keep having an

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excuse right like I remember even with

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smoking I remember it was like um part

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of me didn't want to stop there was a

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part of me I realized it didn't want to

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stop smoking because I knew if I stopped

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I wouldn't and it wasn't like a it was

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kind of a subconscious part of me yeah

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but I knew if I stopped I would I

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wouldn't have something to blame my in a

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efficiency on or my what I just wouldn't

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have something to blame it's like it

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gave me something to blame does that

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make any sense it does because

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everything we do even things that seem

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stupid or derogatory we do to meet some

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needs there's only six needs people have

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we have a need for Comfort or certainty

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we have a need for variety we have a

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need to feel significant unique special

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important everybody has that need we

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have a need to feel connection and love

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we have a need to grow we have need to

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contribute Beyond ourselves it was just

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Comfort I think yeah it's the comfort

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and the certainty what you know but

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there there is a fear that everybody has

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two fears MH all human beings at some

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moment feel that they're not enough and

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to feel like you're not enough for

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someone who's love you crave makes a

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person crazy inside for someone who's

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what I didn't hear that right somebody

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who's love you crave the average person

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you don't care but if it's somebody

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who's love you really want oh yeah so if

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you feel like you're not enough then you

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feel like you won't be loved to be

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worthless and unloved is like

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psychological death so people drug

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themselves eat they do anything not to

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feel that well what are your choices on

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changing that well you could take on a

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new project build a podcast build a

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business do something but you have to

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take risks to do that and risks you

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could look like a failure you could fail

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which might look like your worthless

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might look like you're not worthy of

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love so subconsciously we come up with

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these ways to adapt so smoking a

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cigarette comforts you because you take

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that big slow breath in and blow it out

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nice and slow it changes the tempo in

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your body completely you go from stress

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to you can do that same without the

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cigarette but but once you're addicted

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and it becomes the go-to some people

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stop smoking and then they overeat cuz

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overeating puts all the blood in your

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stomach and you start to breathe slowly

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again and feel things and you let go so

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you can get certainty and comfort by

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those ways or you can do it by working

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out and developing the sense of strength

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that makes you certain or you can do the

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same thing day after day there's so many

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ways there's positive ways and negative

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ways but we also need uncertainty we

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need variety if you if every day you

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know what's going to happen how it's

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going to happen you get bored out of

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your mind yeah but if you have so much

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variety you don't know what's going to

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happen people freak out so these needs

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bounce up against each other and so when

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people do a behavior like smoking

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smoking will give you comfort certainty

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smoking will give you in some people's

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case variety because you were stressed

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out now you change your state that feels

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different it's called variety smoking

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will give you significance if you think

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it's cool although today it's a little

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harder to do that because most people

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think you're an idiot we put you in a

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separate room by yourself yeah they

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think you are yeah so but it used to be

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I'm cool if I smoke and some people say

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you can't make me not smoke I'm

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significant right for some people it's a

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way to connect with other people who

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smoke right so when you meet one of

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those needs you like it when you meet

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two you really like when you meet three

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you get addicted and you get addicted to

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positive things you get addicted to

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exercise you get addicted to working out

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you get addicted to you know growing

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your business you everyone gets addicted

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to something if it meets a bunch of your

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needs it's amazing and in a

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relationship if a person is certain that

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you love them and there's always a

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surprise they oh I I know they love me

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and we have so many surprises we have so

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much Variety in our life and I feel like

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the most important person significant

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and I feel so much love for them and

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we're growing contributing I'm leaving

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nobody says that because when your needs

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are met people stay like whenever I work

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with couples I work with hundreds of

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thousands of couples over the years and

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they always say one of them always say I

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gave him or her everything everything

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except what they needed if you gave them

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what they needed they wouldn't be

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leaving do you think we're afraid some

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to say what we need though too or do you

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think we even know what we need

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sometimes most people don't you're

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absolutely right most people not only

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don't say it but most people don't even

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know it they're not even honest with

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themselves yet so what do you say to

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somebody like me then or I mean sorry

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I'm sitting here so also me but um yeah

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like who's cuz there's ways like I know

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once I right when I weaned off of my

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medicine right I got to talked I

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actually didn't talk to my doctor but

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I've gotten off so many times over the

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years I felt like I knew what I was

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doing I did let my close friends know

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hey I'm I'm getting off my medicine let

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me know if anything what you using at

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the time just uh Lexapro I've been taken

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right I said let me know if anything

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seems strange or whatever you know but

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then I more strange than usual

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yeah yeah yeah dude if I'm just like

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masturbating at the house dude yeah

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that's natural that's normal dude yeah

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that's normal behavior right but if I'm

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Pet

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shopping you know that's a you need to

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call somebody you know you're concerned

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call somebody I'm looking at a dog

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that's really scary dud can you fetch oh

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yeah it's getting weird um but what I'm

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saying is um

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yeah so there but I started running

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right I knew I said my biggest thing is

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I don't want to lose this B this this

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opportunity to see how I'm feeling

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because I'm not doing my part of taking

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care of myself y I have so much respect

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for you doing that it's so hard to do

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but you did the right thing which is

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what I teach you got to replace it with

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something you don't stop doing something

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you replace something else but what

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you're replacing it with actually

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changes your biochemistry yeah I don't

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want to run now I'm starting to freaking

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like it dude I met somebody yesterday

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and we got some damn Brook shoes to

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gabing well that's a good first step

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yeah literally you're right but you get

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the runner's high and it's it's a good

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high for you and you're making so it's

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like it's not about stopping what you're

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doing it's about starting something else

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that's more fulfilling like running what

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needs does it meet does it make you feel

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comfortable afterwards you feel certain

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you're going to feel good when you run

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100% you have variety when you run is

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like a totally different state yeah

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sometimes I'll go around the track this

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way sometimes I'll go around the track

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this way okay okay and do you have sense

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of significance like I'm really

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changing I'm improving I'm becoming more

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some guy the other day like this kind of

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tough guy was like man you've been out

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there for a while that's cool you feel

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good yeah and do you feel more connected

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yourself or God when you're running or

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the universe or nature or anything like

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that yeah I feel like I'm able to have

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some or like my brain will have

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conversations that maybe I've been

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meaning to have or whatever they just

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kind of show up while I'm running and do

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you feel like you're growing by doing

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this running by getting better um yeah I

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feel like it's not going to hurt me

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that's for sure yeah you know and there

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may be some form of contribution that'll

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come out of it because because you feel

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so much better you'll be able to give

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more so you're meeting at least four or

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five of your needs by running yeah

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versus the drugs made you feel certain

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mhm did they make you feel variety um no

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that was the biggest problem that was

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boring feelings that's dead did they

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make you feel significant no no and they

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make you feel

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connected no no they make you feel like

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you're

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growing no contributing to

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others no so it met one need but when

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you get in the habit of it and you're

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numb it's hard to shift so the only

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reason people shift is they hit a

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threshold I'll give you the chemistry of

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transformation you see how it works for

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you okay like there's five elements that

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when they're there people transform so

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the first one that usually happens is

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satiation satiation means there's

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nothing wrong but you've been doing the

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same thing over and over and over again

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after a while if your favorite meal was

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steak and lobster and you have it every

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day three times a day there's going to

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be a point where you go like there's

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nothing wrong with Stak and lobster but

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man I'm satiated right and that makes

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you look around what what might what

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might do different but it doesn't

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usually make you change it just opens

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your mind to change then you need the

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second element and that is

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dissatisfaction now it's not just you're

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doing it and it's not as good now you're

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doing it and it doesn't feel good and

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you start to feel that in the

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relationship side you like this I don't

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I don't want to feel this way then

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that's still not enough that makes you

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look more for a change that's the second

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piece of chemistry the third piece of

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chemistry is now you hit a threshold

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thresholds like you ever been in a

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relationship like way too long you know

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oh yes you sorry I want to apologize too

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to a couple of women um yeah I you knew

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it was wrong you knew it wasn't serving

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them or serving you but you stayed

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because it was certain it was hard to

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change being well what if I'm alone

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afraid to say certain things yeah but if

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you got to the point where the way you

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stay is you go it'll get better it was

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better in the past or you jump to the

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Future and say it's better but there's a

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day we hear threshold you go it's been

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painful in the past it's painful today

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it's going to be painful forever I'm the

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F out of here right that's when people

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start to change when you hit a threshold

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you get the fourth piece you get an

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insight and the Insight is what's really

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true and usually figure it out it's not

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my partner it's not my job it's me

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what's going on in me and you make a

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distinction and that creates an opening

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like there's a chance you to change your

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life in that moment you had that when

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you were here and you couldn't feel

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anything with this girl you felt

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dissatisfaction you eventually got to a

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threshold and you finally said wait a

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second these drugs are just making me

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numb I got to do something and you had

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to jump through the opening because you

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didn't know was on the other side or

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there's uncertainty a lot of people go

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through all that and they get to the

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opening it only stays open for a few

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moments if you don't do something with

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the Insight it closes you start all over

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again you got to go through all the time

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period of getting satiated and getting

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dissatisfied again hitting a threshold

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and some people just never jump through

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the hole so I used to kick people

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through the opening you know yeah I've

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seen a couple videos you done like whoa

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so but right but now what I do more is I

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I bring them to the opening over and

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over and get them to jump through so

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they get the muscle cuz otherwise it

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might last a year or two but it's not

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going to last forever if you do it you

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got a chance lasting for a long time but

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you went through that chemistry but very

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few people do yeah you got dissatisfied

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enough

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Related Tags
Transformación PersonalHábitosNecesidades HumanasAdiccionesCambio de VidaCiencia del CambioBienestarAutoayudaConcienciaDesarrollo Personal
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