It was almost like I was less than

Summary

This powerful narrative from a Bronx-born, Hispanic woman recounts her challenging journey in the '90s military, marked by racial and sexual discrimination. Despite her initial pride, she endured assaults leading to PTSD and a battle with alcoholism. Through EMDR therapy, she processed her trauma, regained control, and rebuilt her life, now embracing a new normal and preparing for marriage.

Takeaways

• 🌆 The speaker is a proud native New Yorker from the Bronx, emphasizing the city's cultural diversity and lack of racism in her upbringing.
• 💪 Despite her initial pride and honor in joining the military, she faced significant racial and gender discrimination, particularly as a Hispanic woman in a predominantly Caucasian environment.
• 🔫 The speaker encountered 'salty old dogs,' middle-aged White men and women who felt the need to assert their dominance over her, adding to her struggles.
• 🎯 Her distinct personality and background as a Puerto Rican from the Bronx made her a target for racial prejudice and harassment.
• 🏥 The speaker experienced sexual assault twice during her military service, which led to her developing Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
• 🥃 After leaving the military, she struggled with alcoholism, drinking heavily to cope with her feelings of failure and shame.
• 😭 She had a profound moment of realization when she lashed out at her mother, understanding that her behavior was harmful and unacceptable.
• 🤰 The news of her pregnancy prompted her to stop drinking and attempt to regain control over her life.
• 🍷 However, upon returning to work, stress led her back to alcohol, and her mother intervened to get her help.
• 🩺 The speaker underwent Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy, which allowed her to process her trauma and reduce its emotional impact.
• 🎓 EMDR therapy was instrumental in her recovery, enabling her to return to school, earn a degree, and find a new sense of normalcy in life.
• 💍 She is now engaged to be married and has embraced the person she has become as a result of her challenging experiences.

Q & A

What cultural background does the speaker come from?

The speaker is a native New Yorker from the Bronx, identifying as a Puerto Rican woman.

What was the speaker's initial experience with racism?

The speaker did not experience racism in her upbringing in New York, but faced it when she joined the military in the '90s.

How did the military environment in the '90s treat the speaker as a Hispanic woman?

The speaker was treated as less than, with her tone of voice and manner of speaking being criticized in a racially charged environment.

What was the speaker's initial intention when joining the Navy?

The speaker had pride and honor, intending to serve for 20 years as a 'lifer'.

How long did the speaker actually serve in the Navy?

The speaker served for four years, 10 months, and some change.

What traumatic experiences did the speaker endure during her service?

The speaker was sexually assaulted twice, which led to her developing PTSD.

How did the speaker cope with her experiences upon returning home?

Initially, the speaker coped by drinking heavily, consuming a fifth of vodka a day.

What was the turning point for the speaker's drinking problem?

The speaker stopped drinking when she found out she was pregnant.

What therapeutic method did the speaker use to process her trauma?

The speaker used Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) to process her trauma.

How did EMDR help the speaker deal with her emotions?

EMDR helped the speaker process her emotions by understanding them and then 'putting them to bed,' allowing her to move forward.

What positive changes occurred in the speaker's life after dealing with her trauma?

The speaker was able to live again, return to school to get her degree, become engaged to be married, and find her new normal.