How to not sell your soul to the internet: a tutorial

Summary

In this video tutorial, Lauren addresses the metaphorical concept of 'selling your soul' to the internet, particularly in the context of content creation. She outlines the risks associated with oversharing personal information online, drawing on the online disinhibition effect and the desire for self-understanding. Lauren offers practical advice on how to create content without compromising personal boundaries, emphasizing the importance of categorizing one's audience and ensuring that shared information serves a purpose. She concludes by discussing the limitations of her perspective as a new YouTuber and encourages viewers to consider the authenticity of their online presence.

Takeaways

• 😀 The video discusses the concept of 'selling your soul to the internet', which Lauren defines as the regret and discomfort from oversharing personal information online.
• 🔐 Chapter 2 highlights that public figures and content creators are particularly at risk due to the online disinhibition effect, the desire for self-understanding, and the ambiguity of their relationship with their audience.
• 📈 The online disinhibition effect refers to people sharing more about themselves online than they would in person, which can lead to oversharing and subsequent regret.
• 🤔 The desire to understand oneself, as emphasized by philosophers like Kant, can lead content creators to share more个人信息 to gain self-knowledge through audience feedback.
• 🧊 Lauren introduces the 'Iceberg of the Individual' model to illustrate the different levels of social relationships and how they correlate with the depth of personal information shared.
• ❌ Oversharing on the internet can lead to a skewed self-perception, as content creators may come to believe their online persona represents their whole identity.
• 🚫 To avoid selling your soul, Lauren advises categorizing your audience appropriately and treating YouTube as a public speaking platform where the focus should be on the audience's needs.
• 📋 She suggests having a separate video journal to maintain a clear boundary between personal thoughts and content intended for YouTube.
• ❓ Before sharing personal information, Lauren recommends asking oneself if the information is appropriate to share with an acquaintance, if it's fully processed, and if it's off-limits.
• 💡 The video concludes that filtering information to share on YouTube does not compromise authenticity, as it's done in the context of the relationship with the audience and the communication medium.

Q & A

What is the main topic of Lauren's video?

The main topic of Lauren's video is about how to avoid 'selling your soul' to the internet, particularly in the context of content creation and public figures.

What does 'selling your soul' mean in the context of this video?

In this video, 'selling your soul' refers to the feeling of regret and discomfort that one feels after oversharing vulnerable or personal information about themselves on the internet.

Why are content creators and public figures particularly at risk of 'selling their soul' according to the video?

Content creators and public figures are at risk due to the online disinhibition effect, the desire to understand themselves better, and the ambiguity of the social context with their audience.

What is the online disinhibition effect?

The online disinhibition effect is a phenomenon where people tend to self-disclose more information about themselves or act more intensely online than they would in person, due to the lack of face-to-face communication.

What are the implications of the online disinhibition effect mentioned in the video?

The implications include that having strangers as friends and a larger network size on social media platforms like Facebook can lead to more self-disclosure and higher levels of regret from oversharing.

How does Lauren suggest content creators should view their audience in terms of social relationships?

Lauren suggests that content creators should categorize their audience into a social category, such as between acquaintanceship and friendship, to better understand the appropriate level of information to share.

What is the 'Iceberg of the Individual' model mentioned in the video?

The 'Iceberg of the Individual' model is a conceptual framework that categorizes social relationships from acquaintanceship to best friendship, indicating that as relationships deepen, more personal information is disclosed.

Why should content creators avoid sharing ongoing struggles on their platforms according to Lauren?

Lauren believes that sharing ongoing struggles can hinder personal growth, affect the accuracy of self-portrayal, and potentially skew the creator's self-perception due to the audience's feedback.

What are some actionable steps Lauren suggests to prevent 'selling your soul'?

Lauren suggests steps such as keeping a separate video and personal journal, having a questions list to assess the decision to disclose personal information, and maintaining an off-limit list for topics that should not be discussed in videos.

How does Lauren define the authenticity of content in the context of the video?

Lauren defines authenticity as sharing information in the context of who you're talking to and the communication method, rather than being drastically different among all social circles, which does not compromise the authenticity of the content.

What limitations does Lauren acknowledge in her approach to the topic?

Lauren acknowledges that she is a new YouTuber and not a full-time content creator, which might limit her perspective. She also recognizes that there might be situations where sharing ongoing struggles could be beneficial, and that her views are subjective and open for discussion.

Outlines

00:00

😀 Introduction to Selling Your Soul Online

Lauren introduces the topic of the video, which is about avoiding oversharing personal information online, a concept she dubs 'selling your soul.' She outlines the video into five chapters, starting with defining what 'selling your soul' means, discussing why public figures and content creators are at risk, how to create content without oversharing, actionable steps to prevent it, and finally, limitations and conclusion. The term 'selling your soul' is defined as the regret and discomfort felt after sharing too much personal information on the internet.

05:04

🤔 Understanding the Risks for Content Creators

This paragraph delves into why content creators are particularly susceptible to 'selling their soul.' Lauren explains the 'online disinhibition effect,' a phenomenon where people share more about themselves online than they would in person. She cites studies that show teenagers with more Facebook friends disclose more and regret their posts, indicating a correlation between audience size and the tendency to overshare. Lauren also discusses the human desire for self-knowledge and the ambiguity of the social context with the audience, which can lead to oversharing in an attempt to understand oneself better.

10:06

🔄 The Cycle of Oversharing and Self-Perception

Lauren describes the cycle of oversharing on the internet and how it affects self-perception. She explains that oversharing leads to reading comments that shape one's perception of how they are seen by their audience. This, in turn, influences their self-understanding, leading to a cycle where they believe they know themselves better and continue to overshare. She references the 'looking glass self' theory by Charles Horton Cooley, which posits that our self-perception is shaped by how we believe we are perceived by others.

15:11

🛡 Strategies to Create Content Without Compromising Privacy

In this section, Lauren offers strategies to create content without oversharing. She suggests categorizing the audience in a social context to gauge the appropriate level of personal information to share. She also recommends viewing YouTube as a public speaking platform, focusing on the audience's needs and ensuring every piece of shared information serves a purpose. Lauren advises against sharing ongoing struggles on YouTube, as it can hinder personal growth and the portrayal may not be accurate or beneficial.

20:12

📝 Actionable Steps and Personal Reflection

Lauren provides actionable steps to prevent oversharing, such as maintaining separate video and personal journals to keep a clear distinction between online persona and personal life. She also recommends having a set of questions to ask oneself before sharing personal information and keeping an off-limit list of topics that should not be discussed on YouTube. In the conclusion, she acknowledges the limitations of her perspective as a new YouTuber and opens up the discussion for full-time or long-time YouTubers to share their insights.

🤷‍♀️ Balancing Authenticity with Privacy

The final paragraph addresses potential concerns about the authenticity of content when following the advice given. Lauren argues that filtering information does not compromise authenticity, as people naturally adjust what they say based on their audience and the context of communication. She emphasizes that the purpose of a video is to serve the audience and provide value, which necessitates careful selection of information. Lauren concludes by urging viewers not to 'sell their soul' and to share their thoughts in the comments.

Keywords

💡Selling your soul

The term 'selling your soul' in the context of the video refers to the feeling of regret and discomfort one experiences after oversharing personal or vulnerable information on the internet. It is central to the video's theme, which is about maintaining one's privacy and integrity while being a content creator or public figure online. The script discusses how this feeling arises and the consequences of such actions.

💡Online disinhibition effect

The 'online disinhibition effect' is a psychological phenomenon where individuals feel more comfortable sharing personal information or acting in ways they wouldn't in person due to the perceived anonymity of the internet. The video explains how this effect can lead content creators to overshare, thus risking the 'selling of their soul' to the internet.

💡Content creators

In the script, 'content creators' are individuals who produce and share material, such as videos, on platforms like YouTube. The video discusses the unique challenges they face in maintaining their privacy and authenticity while engaging with a largely anonymous online audience.

💡Self-disclosure

'Self-disclosure' refers to the act of revealing personal information about oneself. The video script explores how the online disinhibition effect can lead to increased self-disclosure, which can be problematic for content creators who may later regret sharing too much.

💡Perception

The term 'perception' in the video relates to how others view and understand the content creator based on the information shared online. The video discusses the cycle of oversharing and the subsequent shaping of self-perception by audience feedback, which can skew one's self-understanding.

💡Authenticity

Authenticity in the video is about being true to oneself while creating content. The script questions whether the process of filtering information to avoid oversharing compromises the authenticity of the content, concluding that it does not, as long as the information shared serves a purpose and is contextually appropriate.

💡Looking Glass Self

The 'Looking Glass Self' is a psychological concept that suggests our self-perception is shaped by how we believe others perceive us. The video uses this concept to explain how content creators might rely too heavily on their audience's perception, potentially leading to a skewed self-understanding.

💡Iceberg model

The 'Iceberg model' used in the video is a metaphor for categorizing social relationships based on depth and intimacy, from acquaintanceship to best friendship. The script suggests that understanding where one's audience fits in this model can help content creators determine the appropriate level of personal information to share.

💡Public speaking

The concept of 'public speaking' is applied to content creation in the video, emphasizing that the focus should be on delivering value to the audience rather than on the creator's personal experiences. It suggests that every piece of personal information shared should serve a purpose and contribute to the audience's understanding or benefit.

💡Vulnerability

'Vulnerability' in the video refers to the act of sharing personal struggles or experiences that expose one's emotional state. The script advises caution in sharing vulnerabilities, recommending that such information should be fully processed and serve a purpose, such as connecting with the audience or providing advice.

💡Struggles

The term 'struggles' in the video denotes personal challenges or difficulties. The script argues against sharing ongoing struggles on platforms like YouTube, suggesting that it can hinder personal growth and lead to an inaccurate portrayal of one's experiences.

Highlights

The tutorial aims to guide content creators on how to avoid oversharing personal information online, termed as 'selling your soul'.

The concept of 'selling your soul' is defined as the regret and discomfort from oversharing personal details on the internet.

Content creators are at a higher risk due to the 'online disinhibition effect', leading to more frequent self-disclosure.

A study by Xie and Kang found that teenagers with more Facebook friends disclosed more and regretted their posts, highlighting the impact of audience size.

Kant's principle 'know thyself' is discussed as a driving factor for content creators to share more about themselves to understand their identity.

The ambiguity of the social context with the audience creates a challenge in determining the appropriate level of self-disclosure.

The 'Iceberg of the Individual' model is introduced to categorize social relationships and guide content creators on what to share.

Oversharing can lead to a skewed self-perception, as content creators may rely too heavily on audience feedback for self-understanding.

The 'Looking Glass Self' theory is applied to explain how self-perception is influenced by perceived audience opinions.

Content creators are advised to categorize their audience to prevent oversharing and maintain personal boundaries.

YouTube should be viewed as a public speaking platform, focusing on delivering value to the audience rather than personal venting.

Vulnerability in content should serve a purpose, such as connecting with the audience or providing advice based on shared struggles.

Ongoing personal struggles should not be shared on YouTube to prevent hindering personal growth and inaccurate portrayals.

A separate video journal is recommended to maintain a clear distinction between personal reflections and content for the audience.

Content creators should have a set of questions to evaluate the appropriateness of sharing personal information.

An 'off-limit list' helps content creators identify topics that are too personal to be shared on their platform.

The authenticity of content is not compromised by selective information sharing, as it is contextually appropriate for the audience.

The tutorial concludes by emphasizing the importance of not selling your soul and invites audience opinions in the comments.

Transcripts

hey guys it's Lauren today's video is going to  be a tutorial about how to not sell your soul to  

the internet and okay this video is so long like  my video notes look crazy but here's the outline  

chapter 1 what does that even mean? chapter  2 why are public figures and content creators  

particularly at risk of selling their soul and  what are the problems with that? chapter 3 is  

how to create content without selling your soul  chapter 4 is actionable steps to prevent selling  

your soul and then chapter 5 limitations and  conclusion chapter 1 what does that even mean?  

so I made this title based off a comment I saw  on my YouTube video titled why you should make a  

YouTube channel according to philosophy where I go  over the reasons for why you should make a YouTube  

channel and in that comment okay I couldn't find  it first of all but it was along the lines of hey  

Lauren I really do want to make YouTube videos but  whenever I do publicize information about myself  

it feels like I'm giving away a piece of my soul  so like how do I overcome that and at the time a  

few months ago I didn't have an answer to that but  I do now so yeah to properly define selling your  

soul I'm going to use this definition I made and  that's the feeling of regret and discomfort that  

one feels after oversharing vulnerable or personal  information about themselves on the internet so  

chapter 2 why are content creators and public  figures particularly at risk of selling their  

soul? and in Chapter 2.1 I'm going to explain  why content creators are particularly prone to  

selling their soul and then in chapter 2.2 I'm  going to talk about the problems but the first  

reason why content creators are prone to selling  their soul is the online disinhibition effect in  

a paper published by Suler in 2004 all the sources  are in the description by the way this the online  

disinhibition effect is described as while online  some people self-disclose like information about  

themselves or act out more frequently or  intensely than they would in person so when  

we're online we tend to share a little bit more  information because we're not bound to face to  

face communication okay so now that we've talked  about the online disinhibition effect I'm going to  

talk about its implications so this study titled  this by Xie and Kang in 2015 they measured the  

amount of posting regret that teenagers felt on  Facebook particularly and two findings were really  

interesting to me one of them was having strangers  as the teenagers' Facebook friends led to the  

teenagers disclosing more about information about  themselves and it also increased the amount that  

they regretted from posting a lot about themselves  and adding on to that having a larger network size  

like having a larger following or audience meant  that they would disclose more information about  

themselves and also have higher regret from  disclosing information about themselves and  

this relates to why content creators are prone  to soul selling because with YouTube you know  

a majority of your audience are strangers and as  you continue doing YouTube the amount of audience  

like your network size grows and that could also  lead to a heightened online disinhibition effect  

or oversharing about yourself as that occurs so  that's one of the reasons why content creators are  

prone to soul selling now moving on to the second  reason the desire to understand ourselves as Kant  

famously said know thyself and this is basically  saying that we have a moral obligation to fully  

understand ourselves and our motivations so that  we can kind of harmonize how we feel internally  

and what we do externally and I really do believe  that understanding ourselves is a key component  

of living because if you understand yourself  well you understand the world well and it's  

just important in life to understand yourself and  the world and why this relates to content creation  

because through having a YouTube audience you feel  like you're learning about yourself because a main  

method of self-knowledge is understanding who  we are based on various social contexts and when  

we do YouTube we are open to so many different  perspectives of ourselves so it's like it feels  

like you're learning a lot about yourself because  there's so many social contexts happening between  

you and the individual audience members so being  perceived by other people makes you feel like you  

you have a better understanding of yourself so  that's the second reason then the third reason is  

not really clearly knowing what the social context  of you and the audience like your YouTube audience  

is and let me explain it with this model I made so  I'm sure you all know the iceberg model of YouTube  

where they kind of talk about a topic and then  they dive deep into all of the implications of  

the topic and I wanted to use this model to  categorize the social relationships we have  

in real life I titled this the iceberg of the  individual I'm using Robert Sternberg's theory of  

relationships and he's famous for his triangular  theory of love where he says that intimacy,  

passion, and commitment are key to a good romantic  relationship but we're not talking about romance  

right now I wanted to talk about this model in  application to our friendship relationships and  

the model is acquaintanceship, friendship,  close friendship, and best friendship but  

I added another one which is your journal so as  the iceberg kind of flows the relationship gets  

deeper and as the relationship intensity goes from  acquaintances to best friendship you disclose more  

information about yourself cause you wouldn't tell  an acquaintance some deeper things about yourself  

right so you know acquaintanceship is what people  see on the surface as the relationship deepens the  

amount of vulnerable information you talk about  increases as well and why am I bringing up this  

model well it's because with your YouTube  audience you don't really exactly know what  

kind of social relationship you're you have with  them so it's kind of unclear where you categorize  

them in a social way so just to recap the three  reasons for why content creators are at risk of  

selling their soul on the Internet is the online  disinhibition effect, the desire to know themself,  

and then the ambiguity of the audience like  we don't know how to categorize them on our  

relationship iceberg so we don't know like how  much we're supposed to say about ourselves okay  

chapter 2.2 is the problems with oversharing on  the internet so overall in this chapter I'm going  

to explain that your YouTube audience can never be  a kind of full encapsulation of who you are as a  

person so we're making the mistake of trying  to gain information of ourselves through our  

audience in Principles of Psychology William James  writes "a man has many social selves as there are  

individuals who recognize him and carry an image  of him in their mind. to wound any one of these  

images is to wound him. but as the individuals who  carry the images fall naturally into classes we  

may practically say that he has as many different  social selves as there are distinct groups of  

persons about whose opinion he cares. he generally  shows a different side of himself to each of these  

different groups." so even though our YouTube  audience is a very distinct group of people who  

we gain a sense of ourselves from we are making  the mistake of thinking that our online persona  

is contingent with our like holistic person  and and let me explain how this occurs with  

this cycle I've come up with so first we overshare  about ourselves online because of all the reasons  

I shared in the other chapter but we overshare  ourselves about ourselves online and then we read  

the comments and see how people perceive us and  then we come to believe that our online audience  

knows who we are as people very well because we  we've given them information so we're like okay  

they must be accurate in their perception of us  because I've overshared and then they're telling  

us how they perceive us based on our oversharing  so then we think we understand ourselves better  

because we have all of these various perceptions  that people have laid out for us and then we think  

that our self-knowledge has increased because  of the amount of people perceiving us and then  

because we feel rewarded that that we understand  ourselves better we continue oversharing about  

ourselves trying to as accurately depict ourselves  as possible and then you know the cycle continues  

you know that's the trap I think because even  though we could never accurately capture who  

we are as people on on the internet this cycle  makes it so that we never stop trying and then  

never stop incorporating other people like  our YouTube audience's perception into our  

self understanding and let me further prove this  point through the looking Glass self which is a  

psychological theory by Charles Horton Cooley and  this is basically saying that our self-perception  

is derived from how we think we are perceived by  different people in our lives so we're surrounding  

ourselves with looking glasses or like mirrors  and we're getting a reflection back from these  

groups of people and then acting accordingly  to how we think we are perceived and I bring  

this theory up because even though I do believe  that other people's perception of us is important  

in curating our understanding of ourselves with  YouTubers and content creators I think we could  

easily get a lot of our self-perception from  our audience which I call the skewing of the  

looking glass self though I do think the  perception of our YouTube audience plays  

some kind of role in self-knowledge we cannot  get to the point where we're lessening other  

groups of people's perception of us such as family  friends etcetera and I think relying heavily on  

our YouTube audience for our self perception also  has to do with just the amount of opinions there  

are out there and I think our heavy reliance  on our YouTube audience to gain a sense of  

self-understanding is also in part due to just the  amount of people there are perceiving us when we  

are sharing on an online platform because it feels  like because there's so many different opinions  

we're really getting the range of what people  think about us but in reality the person that  

we portray to the internet will always be fixed  no matter how many people have an opinion about  

who you are so yes those are the problems I have  with oversharing on the internet third chapter how  

do you how do you create content without selling  your soul? well first of all I think we need to  

very clearly categorize our audience into a social  category so going back to this Iceberg right for  

me personally I categorize my YouTube audience  between acquaintanceship and friendship so um  

with that in mind I kind of have a better idea  of what information to include and not include  

so that's the first step to prevent oversharing  on the internet second step is to see YouTube as  

more of a public speaking platform and I'm going  to reference the book Public Speaking for Authors,  

Creatives and other Introverts by Joanna Penn  just cuz I read it recently but I think what  

I'm about to say is just general public speaking  fundamentals um first it's about the audience and  

not about you and I know this is your platform  it's your YouTube channel but also through  

this YouTube channel you are trying to give the  audience some kind of information that you have  

and you're trying to help the audience in some  kind of way so always make it about the audience  

and what you can do for the audience through  your words and then second is every piece of  

information should serve a purpose and I'm talking  about personal information if you want to include  

points of vulnerability I think we can easily fall  into the trap of just trauma dumping or like using  

talking to a camera as a therapy session but I  think when you are saying something vulnerable  

it should have a reason behind it whether it  is you want to reach the people who have a  

similar struggle as you or you want to use that  information as an a personal testimony in order  

to connect with the audience and then give them  advice according to the shared struggle every  

vulnerable piece of information you say should  be of service in some way and third is moreso  

my personal opinion but I don't think ongoing  struggles should be shared on YouTube videos and  

I'll explain why first is hindrance of growth  when you're going through a struggle I think  

it's very important to take a step back from your  online persona if you have one and to sort things  

out by yourself or with people who know you more  holistically as a person such as people who are  

deeper in the iceberg like your best friends or  close friends and by attempting to portray your  

ongoing struggles in a video you are kind of  affecting this growth process because you're  

never going to accurately portray your struggles  on camera because you're naturally going to edit  

parts out and include parts you want to so it can  never be a very accurate portrayal of what you're  

going through unless it's a living conversation  with a person that you're close with or you know a  

therapist or something someone so I think think by  attempting to put that on camera and then listen  

to the feedback from the very polished version of  your struggles you are affecting your ability to  

actually process your struggles properly off  camera and here's another reason why I don't  

think ongoing struggles should be included and  that's because I think struggles that you've  

already processed will be of best purpose for the  audience because when you're talking about things  

that you've already gone through you have gained  a higher level of wisdom from them that you can  

then use to help the people who are going through  that struggle just like you did so those are the  

steps I have to prevent selling your soul and  now this brings us to chapter 4 specific steps  

like actionable steps to take and these are are  some things that have helped me first is to keep  

a separate video journal and personal journal so  this is my video journal and I say this because  

when you start using your personal journal content  in videos the line between your online persona and  

your holistic person gets a little bit blurry and  there should be some kind of way to separate the  

two and having a video journal I found really  helps with that and two having a questions list  

to ask yourself whenever you are disclosing  personal information about yourself to fully  

assess your decision to include that or not and  the questions I have for myself are would I tell  

this information to someone who is between friend  and acquaintance? is it something I have fully  

processed? and is it something that I'm allowed to  talk about? and let me explain what this means so  

the third specific step is to have keep an off  limit list for the topics that you cannot talk  

about in videos and you really need to sit down  and understand what is very personal to you that  

you cannot by any means talk about on YouTube  because you know you will regret it and that's  

what I mean by is it something I'm allowed to talk  about is it something that's on* my off-limit list  

okay final chapter limitations and conclusion  first limitation is I am new YouTuber I've been  

a YouTuber for 3 months and I'm not a full-time  YouTuber but if you are a full-time YouTuber or  

a long time YouTuber you should reach out to me  so we can have a conversation about it I'm so  

approachable but second limitation is like you  know how I said we shouldn't share our ongoing  

struggles well aren't there sometimes where  sharing your ongoing struggles and having kind  

of a rant session style video could help a lot  of people who are going through the same thing  

because it feels nice to know that someone else  is going through that so that's something I'm  

really not decided on yet but mostly I would  say these style videos should be limited then  

third limitation is this is all just my opinion  that goes without saying but I'm going to say it  

anyways and then I have not a limitation but it's  like a question thing that I had for myself when  

I was scripting this video is does this process of  information filtration compromise the authenticity  

of my videos? and you can feel free to answer this  question but I already answered this question it's  

no and I'll explain this with two reasons so first  of all it's not compromising authenticity because  

I'm sharing information in the context of who  I'm talking to right so let me say an example  

we all say things in different ways according to  who we're talking to for for example let's say an  

acquaintance asked you how has your semester been  going? you would probably respond with something  

like oh it's not been going great but I'm getting  through it right that sounds like a typical answer  

but let's say someone like a best friend asked  you how your semester is going you would probably  

say something like it's so awful I don't like  any of my classes or anything but I'm trying to  

stay positive throughout it see you word things  differently based on who you think you're talking  

to and I don't think that's being inauthentic  in any way it's just kind of categorizing people  

you're speaking to a little bit differently there  is definitely a problem when the way you portray  

is very drastically different among everyone  in your life but those subtle differences are  

inevitable because there are always going to be  people you're closer to and people you're not  

closer to so yeah and then a second reason why  it's not compromising authenticity is because  

you're saying these words in the context of the  communication method and let me expand on that so  

I'm selecting the words to say in context of this  communication style as a video format and because  

it is a video format it's naturally going to be  higher yield right it's not a conversation where  

we're going back and forth because like you're  not saying much it's supposed to be of service  

to you in some kind of way so the information  should be very carefully selected and have a  

purpose if it's a conversation you would alter  what you say in context of what you're talking  

about with that particular individual but as  a video I have your attention I have your time  

and I have some kind of obligation to make you  feel like you've gained something from watching  

my video I hope that made sense so no I don't  think this compromises authenticity in conclusion  

please don't sell your soul and please let me  know your opinions in the comments below bye