How I Overcame My Fear of Public Speaking | Dr. Justin Moseley | TEDxWilmington

Summary

Dr. Justin Mosley shares his journey of overcoming the fear of public speaking, a common struggle that many face. He emphasizes that everyone has a unique message to share with the world and that the key to conquering fear lies in realizing the importance of serving others with one's message. By shifting focus from oneself to the audience, and understanding that the physiological responses to fear and excitement are similar, one can transform fear into excitement. Mosley's story is a testament to the power of communication and the profound impact a shared message can have on others' lives.

Takeaways

• 😨 The speaker had a deep-seated fear of public speaking from childhood, which was reinforced by negative experiences.
• 🎓 College rekindled the fear during a mandatory speech class, further cementing the belief that public speaking was not for them.
• 🔑 The first key to overcoming fear was realizing everyone has a unique message to share with the world.
• 👉 The advice to consider one's past experiences and lessons as a means to help others was instrumental in the speaker's journey.
• 🤔 The speaker questioned their nervous thoughts before speaking and recognized the need to shift focus from self to serving others.
• 🌟 The second realization was that public speaking is about serving the audience, not about oneself.
• 🧬 Understanding the physiological responses to fear and excitement, and how they are similar, was a turning point.
• 🛠 The speaker learned to reframe fear as excitement, changing the narrative from a threat to a positive anticipation.
• 💪 Transforming fear into excitement was identified as a powerful tool for conquering the anxiety associated with public speaking.
• 👴 A personal story of impacting someone's life through a shared message underscored the importance and potential impact of public speaking.
• 🌍 The speaker encourages others to find their message, transform fear into excitement, and share it to make a positive impact on the world.
• 📣 The closing quote by BJ Palmer emphasizes the far-reaching effects of one's actions and words, inspiring the audience to consider their potential influence.

Q & A

What was the speaker's earliest memory of having a fear of public speaking?

The speaker's earliest memory of having a fear of public speaking was in the second grade when their teacher called on students to read aloud in class.

What was the effect of the speaker's experience in the second grade on their perception of public speaking?

The experience created a lasting memory that public speaking was not for them and reinforced the belief that they should stay quiet and avoid such situations.

How did the speaker's perspective on public speaking change during their freshman year in college?

During their freshman year, the speaker had to take a speech class and experienced the same wave of anxiety, which further reinforced their belief that they were not meant to be a public speaker.

What was the first key realization that helped the speaker overcome their fear of public speaking?

The first key realization was that everyone has a message to share, and the speaker's message mattered, which motivated them to start thinking about what they could share to help others.

According to the speaker, who is perfectly positioned to serve the person you once were?

The speaker believes that you are perfectly positioned to serve the person you once were, meaning you can use your own life experiences and lessons learned to help others.

What was the second realization that helped the speaker overcome their fear of public speaking?

The second realization was that sharing your message is not about you, but about the people you are there to serve, and focusing on the benefits they will receive from your message.

How did the speaker's understanding of fear and excitement help them transform their fear into excitement?

The speaker learned that the physiological responses to fear and excitement are similar, and by changing their mindset to positive anticipation instead of perceiving a threat, they were able to transform their fear into excitement.

What was the impact of the speaker's message on a man who had undergone quadruple bypass surgery?

The speaker's message inspired the man to get his health back, and not only did he recover, but he also went on to complete multiple Iron Man races, showing the power of the message.

What quote from BJ Palmer does the speaker share to emphasize the potential impact of one's actions?

The quote is, 'You never know how far-reaching something you may think, say, or do today, will affect the lives of millions tomorrow,' highlighting the potential for a single message to have a widespread impact.

What is the main message the speaker wants the audience to take away from their talk?

The main message is to find your own message, transform your fear into excitement, and start sharing it with the world to make a positive impact.

How did the speaker's approach to public speaking evolve from a fear-based mindset to a mission-focused one?

The speaker evolved their approach by realizing the importance of their message, focusing on serving others, and transforming their fear into excitement by understanding the physiological similarities between fear and excitement.

Outlines

00:00

😨 Overcoming the Fear of Public Speaking

The speaker recounts their early experiences with the fear of public speaking, beginning with a traumatic memory from the second grade where they were anxious about being called on to read aloud in class. This fear persisted into adulthood, even during college when a required speech class triggered the same anxiety. The speaker describes the intense physical symptoms they experienced, like a racing heart and trembling voice, and how these experiences reinforced the belief that public speaking was not for them. Despite this, the speaker felt a persistent desire to share a message and make an impact, which became the foundation for overcoming this fear.

05:01

📢 Realizing the Importance of Your Message

The speaker shares the first key to overcoming the fear of public speaking: realizing that everyone has a valuable message to share. They emphasize that your life experiences and the lessons you've learned can be of great help to others who are going through similar challenges. Quoting their mentor Rory Vaden, the speaker highlights the idea that you are 'perfectly positioned to serve the person you once were.' By reflecting on their own life and sharing their experiences, the speaker found that they could make a positive impact, which motivated them to continue speaking despite their fears.

10:02

🎯 Shifting Focus from Self to Service

The second key to overcoming public speaking fear is understanding that your message is not about you, but about the people you are there to serve. The speaker explains how their fear was rooted in self-centered thoughts, such as worrying about judgment and making mistakes. A powerful insight from Rory Vaden helped shift this perspective: 'Fear disappears when the mission to serve is clear.' By focusing on the value their audience would gain from the message, the speaker found that the anxiety decreased, and their motivation to speak grew stronger.

😌 Transforming Fear into Excitement

The speaker introduces the third key to overcoming public speaking fear: transforming fear into excitement. They discuss how the body's physiological responses to fear and excitement are identical, and how the difference lies in whether the situation is perceived as a threat or as something to look forward to. By reframing their thoughts, the speaker began to see the familiar signs of fear as indicators of excitement, reminding themselves that they were about to make a positive impact. This mindset shift allowed the speaker to embrace public speaking opportunities with enthusiasm rather than dread.

🏅 The Impact of Sharing Your Message

The speaker illustrates the profound impact of overcoming public speaking fear with a personal story. They recount a significant moment from 2012 when they gave a speech to an audience of 200 people. After the talk, a man who had recently undergone quadruple bypass surgery thanked the speaker for inspiring him to regain his health. This man went on to complete multiple Ironman races, a testament to the speaker's message. The story underscores the importance of sharing your message, as it has the potential to change lives. The speaker encourages others to consider the legacy they could leave by overcoming their fears and sharing their message with the world.

🌟 Embracing Your Potential and Making an Impact

In the final paragraph, the speaker challenges the audience to reflect on the potential impact they can make by overcoming their fear of public speaking. They share a favorite quote from BJ Palmer, emphasizing the far-reaching effects of our words and actions. The speaker concludes with a personal triumph, having spoken on the TEDx stage, something they never thought possible in their earlier years. Their message is clear: anyone can overcome the fear of public speaking, find their message, and make a positive impact on the world.

Keywords

💡Public Speaking

Public speaking refers to the act of addressing an audience in a formal setting. It is a skill that many people find challenging due to fear or anxiety. In the video, the speaker discusses their personal struggle with public speaking from childhood through college, highlighting it as a central theme of overcoming fear to share one's message.

💡Fear

Fear, in this context, is the anxiety or trepidation one experiences when faced with the prospect of speaking in public. The speaker describes their own fear as a child and later in college, where it manifested physically with symptoms like a racing heart and trembling voice, which is a common reaction to perceived threats.

💡Message

The term 'message' in the script represents the ideas, knowledge, or experiences one wishes to convey to an audience. The speaker emphasizes that everyone has a unique message to share, which is significant and can positively impact others, as illustrated by the speaker's realization and transformation of their fear.

💡Serve

To 'serve' in the video script means to act in the interest of others, focusing on the needs and benefits of the audience rather than oneself. The speaker's realization that public speaking is about serving others was a turning point in overcoming their fear, as it shifted their focus from personal anxiety to the potential positive outcomes for the audience.

💡Anxiety

Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. The script describes the speaker's anxiety building up before being called upon to read in class and later when giving speeches, which is a common experience for many individuals facing public speaking.

💡Embarrassment

Embarrassment is a painful or awkward feeling caused by one's actions being judged or stared at by others. The speaker recounts feeling embarrassed after a poor public speaking experience in school, which contributed to their long-standing fear of public speaking.

💡Transformation

Transformation in the script refers to the process of changing one's perspective or experience from negative to positive. The speaker transformed their fear into excitement by reframing the physiological responses associated with fear as signs of anticipation and readiness to positively impact others.

💡Excitement

Excitement is a feeling of great enthusiasm and eagerness. In the video, the speaker learns to associate the physiological responses typically linked to fear with excitement instead, which helps them approach public speaking with a positive and empowering mindset.

💡Impact

Impact in this context refers to the effect or influence one has on others, especially through sharing a message. The speaker shares a story of how their message helped a man recover his health and achieve significant personal goals, demonstrating the potential impact of overcoming the fear of public speaking.

💡Legacy

Legacy is the lasting impact or influence one leaves behind. The speaker encourages the audience to consider the legacy they could leave by overcoming their fear of public speaking and sharing their message, emphasizing the potential for long-term positive change.

💡Mission

A mission is a task or project to which one is committed. In the script, the speaker's mission to serve others by sharing their message becomes a driving force that helps them overcome fear and anxiety associated with public speaking.

Highlights

The speaker's childhood experience with fear of public speaking, being called upon to read in the second grade and the resulting embarrassment.

The realization that everyone has a unique message to share with the world, inspired by mentor Rory Vaden's advice.

The concept of serving the person you once were by sharing life lessons and overcoming obstacles.

The importance of shifting focus from oneself to the audience and the benefits they will receive from the message.

The physiological similarities between fear and excitement, and the potential to reinterpret fear as excitement.

The transformative power of recognizing that public speaking is an opportunity to positively impact lives.

The personal story of overcoming public speaking fear to deliver a message that inspired a man to regain his health and complete an Iron Man race.

The idea that the impact of sharing one's message can extend far beyond what we can imagine, affecting millions.

The encouragement to find one's own message and transform fear into excitement for the purpose of making a positive impact.

The speaker's journey from a fearful student to a TEDx speaker, demonstrating that overcoming fear is possible.

The quote from BJ Palmer emphasizing the far-reaching effects of one's actions and words.

The call to action for the audience to reflect on the potential impact they can make by sharing their message.

The empowerment message that if the speaker could overcome public speaking fear, so can the audience.

The final encouragement to find one's message, transform fear into excitement, and share it with the world.

The introduction of Dr. Justin Mosley as the speaker and his closing thank you.

Transcripts

have you ever been nervous or felt fear

when you've had to speak in

public and maybe you've been on a stage

in front of a room full of people or

maybe you had a share a presentation in

front of your

co-workers or maybe you've been in a

room full of Strang and they made you

stand up and say who you are where

you're from and what you do now at some

point most people have felt what it

feels like to be afraid to speak in

public for me I grew up with a

tremendous fear of public speaking and

my earliest memory of having a fear to

speak happened in the second

grade our teacher was going around the

room and calling on students to read

anybody been there I was thinking please

don't call on me please don't call on me

please don't call on me and she called

someone else I can

relax but as they would get to the end

of what they were reading that anxiety

would start to build again please don't

call on me please don't call on me and

then it happened she called my

name and this wave of anxiety came over

my body and as I started to read I

started fumbling over my words and the

more I tried to get it together the

worst it got and I started hearing other

kids laughing at me

and by the time I finished I was so

embarrassed I remember thinking I never

want to do that again and it created

this memory early on you're not a public

speaker this isn't for you you just need

to stay

quiet and I kept that memory for years

to come fast forward to my freshman year

in college I had to take a speech class

and when I got up to give my speech that

familiar wave of anxiety came over my

body again

my heart started beating out of my chest

my adrenaline was racing my throat got

dry my muscle started to tense up and

when I was looking at my note card my

hand just started

shaking and when I tried to speak my

voice started

trembling and I felt this wave of heat

come over my body and I felt like I was

about to pass

out and somehow I made it through the

speech but that further anchored into my

mind you're not a speaker you just need

to give this up

and I continued to believe that for

years public speaking is not for

me but over the years I kept feeling

this feeling

inside that I have a message to share

that I needed to speak that I can make a

bigger

impact so that led me to the first key

that helped me overcome my fear of

public speaking was the realization that

everyone has a message to

share each and every one of you has a

message inside of you that the world is

waiting to hear and your message

matters but maybe you're like me for

years I didn't think I had a message to

share I wondered what could I share that

would help someone

else well my friend and Mentor Rory

Vaden says it best he says you are

perfectly positioned to serve the person

you once

were think about that there's stuff

you've been through in your life there's

lessons you've learned obstacles you've

overcome and there's lessons you've

learned along the way that you can take

and help other people because right now

there's someone going through what you

went through in the past and you can

take those lessons you've learned and

help them overcome their

challenges so I started going through my

life and I started thinking well what

have I been through and what lessons

have I learned that I could use to help

others and I started sharing those and

it started helping people and that's why

I'm here today Shar sharing this message

because I overcame the fear of public

speaking years ago and I wanted to share

what helped me so other people can share

their message with the world so first I

realized I had a message to share then I

started asking myself well what goes

through my head that makes me so nervous

before I get up to speak and I would

think thoughts like they're going to

judge me what if they don't like the way

I look or the way I'm dressed or what if

they don't like the sound of my voice

or what if I mess up and I say the wrong

thing all those thoughts that were going

through my head were about me me me me

and I realized I needed to shift that

and that led me to the second

realization that helped me overcome my

fear of public speaking was realizing

that sharing your message is not about

you it's about the people you're there

to serve and what's in it for

them and my friend Rory Vaden says it

best he he told me fear disappears when

the mission to serve is

clear when you have the heart to serve

people you take the focus off of you and

you start focusing on what's the benefit

that they're going to get by hearing my

message and that changed everything for

me when I took the focus off of me and I

started focusing on what are they going

to get out of my message I realized if

one person takes what I have to say and

applies it to their life it was worth

it so key number one is you have a

message to share number two your message

is not about you it's about the people

you're there to

serve now the next thing I started to do

was I started to study well what is fear

and fear is our body's natural response

to Danger when our body feels danger we

go into the fight ORF flight response

and we get ready to run or fight for our

lives so I was studying well what are

the common causes of fear and the most

common phys ological responses to fear

are increased heart rate increased

adrenaline shallow breathing muscle

tension sweating dry mouth and

butterflies in the stomach well I used

to get most of those when I would get up

to speak but I started to ask myself

what other times do I feel those

feelings well I feel those feelings when

I get

excited so I looked up what are the most

common causes or the the common

physiological responses to excitement

and they are increased heart rate

increased adrenaline shallow breathing

muscle tension sweating dry mouth and

butterflies in the stomach our bodies go

through the exact same physiological

response in response to fear or

excitement so the way to tell the

difference if it's fear is associated

with a threat or danger or if it's

excitement it's positive anticipation so

it all comes down to am I in danger or

am I looking forward to this and that

led me to the third key that helped me

overcome my fear was that I could

transform my fear into

excitement so when you get up and you

start to share your message and you feel

those familiar feelings what I used to

do was say oh there's that fear again

remember when you used to speak before

that didn't go so well they're going to

judge you this isn't for you why do you

think you should do this and that fear

would overtake me but now what I do I

shifted that and I created a new story

so when I feel those feelings I tell

myself you're excited you're about to go

out there and transform someone's life

today and now I really do get excited

because I know that if I go out and if

one person takes what I have to say and

they apply it to their life I can make a

positive impact so I want you to

remember when you get up you start to

feel those feelings you have the ability

to transform that fear into excitement

so if you're still wondering what why

should I share my

message what impact do I have to make

well I want to take you back to

2012 uh at the time I was giving the

biggest talk that I'd given at that

point and there was an auditorium full

of 200 people and I was ready I knew my

message my mission to serve was clear I

transformed my fear into excitement and

I went out there and I delivered and at

the end of The Talk a man came up to me

and he said Dr Justin I want to thank

you for sharing that

message he said I recently underwent

quadruple bypass surgery he said when I

was laying in the hospital bed my family

they brought in my little grandson and

they put my grandson on my lap he said I

looked at my grandson and I made a

promise right then and there that I'm

going to get my health back because I'm

going to be around to watch my grandson

grow up and he said what you just shared

with me gave gave me exactly what I

needed to get my health

back and not only did he go on to get

his health back at 65 years old he

completed the Iron Man which is a

grueling race which is a 2.4 mile swim a

112 mile bike ride and a complete

marathon of 26.2 miles not only has he

done one Iron Man he's gone on to do

multiple Iron Man

races and the reason I'm telling you

this is because I never would have been

able to make a difference in his life if

I wouldn't have overcome my fear of

public speaking if I wouldn't realized I

had a message to share and if I didn't

get out and start sharing that message I

never would have been able to help

him but just like that man needed to

hear my message in that moment there is

someone that's desperately waiting to

hear your message there's a message

inside of you that the world needs to

hear so I want you to ask yourself what

impact can I make if I overcome my fear

of public speaking and I start sharing

my message with the world what lives can

I touch what Legacy can I leave what

positive impact can I make in the

world I want to leave you with one of my

favorite quotes from BJ Palmer he says

you never know how far-reaching

something you may think say or do today

will affect the lives of millions

tomorrow if you would have told me years

ago that one day I was going to be

standing on the tedex stage in this

iconic red

circle sharing my message with the world

I would have said there's no way but I'm

here I did it and if I can overcome my

fear of public speaking so can you so my

hope is that you'll find your message

you'll transform your fear into

excitement and you'll go out and you'll

start sharing your message with the

world and you'll make a positive

impact I'm Dr Justin Mosley thank you

oh