are you introverted? watch this video

Summary

This video offers 10 essential tips to enhance communication skills, starting with the crucial first impression using the 'Triple Threat' method. It covers avoiding small talk through the 'Interview Technique', using the 'Parroting Technique' to keep conversations flowing, and memorization strategies for speeches. The script also advises on being convincing by providing reasons, the negative impact of gossip, the importance of good online etiquette, winning arguments by considering others' viewpoints, graciously accepting compliments, and the importance of being genuine and unique to make lasting connections. The video emphasizes that improving social skills can significantly boost one's quality of life by transforming interactions from barriers to opportunities.

Takeaways

• 😀 First impressions are crucial and can be significantly influenced by the 'Triple Threat' method: visible hands, eye contact, and confident posture.
• 🗣️ To engage in meaningful conversations, use the 'Interview Technique' to ask questions that genuinely learn about the other person's interests.
• 🕊️ The 'Parroting Technique' can help sustain a conversation by repeating the last interesting point as a question when you can't think of another question.
• 📝 For memorizing speeches, use the 'First Letter Method' to create a guide from the first letter of each word in your speech, making it easier to recall.
• 💪 To be more convincing, include the word 'because' when asking for something, as it provides a reason and increases the likelihood of compliance.
• 🙅‍♂️ Avoid negative talk about others as it reflects poorly on you through the 'Law of Negative Association'.
• 🌐 In online communication, use good grammar and friendly emojis to convey a positive and approachable tone.
• 🤝 When trying to persuade someone, speak from their point of view to show how the action benefits them, making your argument more compelling.
• 🙇‍♂️ Never deflect praise; instead, acknowledge it with gratitude and by affirming the specific compliment received.
• 🌟 Embrace your uniqueness and be open about your interests or hobbies to make more friends and be memorable.
• 🔑 Social skills are essential for improving the quality of life, as they can transform interactions from barriers to opportunities.

Q & A

Why does the first impression matter according to the TED Talk study mentioned in the script?

The first impression matters because it has a significant impact on how you and others perceive people. The study found that participants who watched TED Talks for only 15 seconds rated them almost the same as those who watched for 5 minutes, indicating the strong influence of the speaker's initial impression on the audience.

What is the Triple Threat method for making a great first impression?

The Triple Threat method includes three steps: keeping your hands visible to convey trust, making eye contact to show engagement and attention, and maintaining a confident posture by standing tall, keeping shoulders wide and back straight.

How can the 'interview technique' help in conversing with new people?

The 'interview technique' helps by turning the conversation into a series of questions and answers, allowing you to genuinely learn more about the other person's interests and experiences, thus facilitating deeper and more meaningful connections.

What is the 'parroting technique' and how can it be used in conversations?

The 'parroting technique' involves repeating something the other person said as a question to continue the conversation when you can't think of a follow-up question. It helps to reignite the conversation and avoid awkward pauses or endings.

How can the first letter memorization technique help with public speaking?

The first letter memorization technique involves writing down the first letter of each word in your speech and using it as a guide to help memorize the entire speech. This method simplifies the memorization process and allows you to recall your speech more easily during the presentation.

What is the key to being more convincing according to the experiment discussed in the script?

The key to being more convincing is to use the word 'because' when making a request. People are more likely to comply when they hear a justification for the request, even if the reason is implied or seems obvious.

Why should one avoid talking negatively about others?

Avoiding negative talk about others is important because it can lead to negative associations with your own character. People tend to associate the negative traits you describe in others back onto you, which can damage your relationships and reputation.

What are the three levels of conversation and why should one aim for the highest level?

The three levels of conversation are talking about other people, talking about things, and talking about ideas. Aiming for the highest level, discussing ideas, is beneficial as it fosters more constructive and impactful conversations that can make a difference in one's life.

How can good grammar and the use of emojis improve online communication?

Good grammar and the use of emojis can make online communication clearer, friendlier, and more expressive. They help convey the intended tone and emotion, preventing misunderstandings and making interactions more pleasant.

What is the strategy for winning arguments or discussions as suggested by Dale Carnegie's book?

The strategy for winning arguments or discussions is to speak from the other person's point of view. By considering their interests and showing how your proposal benefits them, you are more likely to gain their agreement and cooperation.

Why is it important to accept and acknowledge praise instead of deflecting it?

Accepting and acknowledging praise is important because it validates the person who gave the compliment and shows appreciation for their kind words. Deflecting praise can be off-putting and may discourage others from offering compliments in the future.

What is the advice for making more friends and why is it effective?

The advice for making more friends is to be authentic, embrace your uniqueness, and not be afraid to be 'weird'. This approach is effective because it makes you memorable and relatable, and it fosters genuine connections based on who you truly are.

Outlines

00:00

📚 Mastering First Impressions with the Triple Threat Method

The first paragraph introduces the video's aim to share 10 tips for improving communication skills, starting with the significance of a first impression. It references a study by Vanessa Van Edwards, highlighting that initial perceptions can be formed within seconds. The 'Triple Threat' method is introduced as a simple three-step process to make a strong first impression: keeping hands visible to convey trust, making eye contact to show engagement, and adopting a confident posture. The speaker emphasizes the effectiveness of this method, as demonstrated in the TED Talk study.

05:01

🗣️ The Interview Technique for Genuine Conversations

The second paragraph delves into overcoming the discomfort of small talk by adopting an 'interview technique.' This method involves asking open-ended questions to learn more about the other person's interests, using their responses to guide the conversation. The speaker provides a practical example of how to use this technique in a school setting, illustrating how it can lead to more meaningful connections and avoid awkward silences.

10:03

🕊️ The Parroting Technique to Revitalize Conversations

Building on the previous paragraph, the third paragraph introduces the 'parroting technique' as a way to continue a conversation when one runs out of questions. This involves echoing a statement made by the other person as a new question, thereby reigniting the discussion. The speaker warns against overusing this technique but acknowledges its effectiveness in preventing awkward pauses and goodbyes.

15:05

🎓 Memorization Hack for Public Speaking Success

The fourth paragraph offers a memorization technique for public speaking, inspired by stagecraft methods used in theater. The process involves writing down the first letter of each word in a speech and using these as prompts to recall the entire speech. The speaker shares a personal anecdote of using this method to quickly memorize lines for a school performance, emphasizing its efficiency and ease of use.

20:06

💡 The Power of 'Because' in Being More Convincing

The fifth paragraph discusses an experiment that demonstrates the persuasive power of providing reasons when making requests. The speaker explains that using the word 'because' significantly increases the likelihood of compliance, even if the reason is trivial. The paragraph encourages viewers to consciously include justifications in their requests to enhance说服力.

🚫 Avoid Negative Association by Refraining from Gossip

In the sixth paragraph, the speaker warns against the habit of gossiping, explaining that it can negatively impact one's reputation through a phenomenon known as 'negative association.' The speaker advises viewers to avoid talking negatively about others and instead focus on constructive topics to foster positive relationships.

🌐 Enhancing Online Communication with Good Grammar and Emojis

The seventh paragraph addresses the importance of clear and friendly communication in online interactions. The speaker suggests using proper grammar, sentence structure, and emojis to convey a positive tone and make online conversations more pleasant. The paragraph also promotes the speaker's Discord server as a platform for practicing these skills.

🤝 Winning Arguments by Speaking from the Other Person's Perspective

The eighth paragraph presents a strategy for winning arguments or discussions by considering the other person's point of view. The speaker references Dale Carnegie's book, 'How to Win Friends and Influence People,' to illustrate the effectiveness of this approach. The paragraph provides an example of how to reframe a request to align with the other person's interests, making it more persuasive.

🙏 Accepting Praise Gracefully to Foster Positive Relationships

The ninth paragraph emphasizes the importance of graciously accepting compliments and avoiding the deflection of praise. The speaker explains that deflecting praise can be off-putting and suggests that a simple 'thank you' is insufficient. Instead, viewers are encouraged to express gratitude and acknowledge the specific reason for the compliment.

🌟 Embracing Individuality to Make More Friends

The final paragraph encourages viewers to be open about their unique interests and hobbies as a way to make more friends. The speaker shares personal experiences of being open about being a Minecraft YouTuber and how it helped in forming memorable connections. The paragraph concludes with a call to action for viewers to share their unique traits and interests to stand out and attract like-minded individuals.

Keywords

💡First Impression

The term 'First Impression' refers to the initial perception one forms about a person or situation, which significantly influences subsequent interactions. In the video, the importance of a first impression is highlighted through a study by Vanessa W Edwards, demonstrating that even a 15-second exposure can shape perceptions. The 'Triple Threat' method is introduced as a strategy to enhance first impressions, emphasizing the role of hands, eye contact, and posture.

💡Introvert

An 'Introvert' is someone who tends to be more focused on their inner thoughts and feelings, often preferring solitude or small groups over large social gatherings. The video script acknowledges the challenges introverts may face in social situations, and offers tips to improve communication skills, such as the 'Interview Technique' for deeper conversations.

💡Eye Contact

Eye contact is the act of looking into someone's eyes during a conversation, which is a crucial non-verbal cue that demonstrates engagement and trust. The script explains that maintaining eye contact is part of the 'Triple Threat' method for making a strong first impression, as it signals attentiveness and sincerity.

💡Posture

Posture refers to the position or carriage of the body, which can convey confidence and authority. The video emphasizes the importance of good posture, suggesting that standing tall with wide shoulders and a straight back can project a 'winner's stance' and contribute to a positive first impression.

💡Interview Technique

The 'Interview Technique' is a method for initiating and maintaining conversations by asking questions to learn more about the other person's interests. The script illustrates this by suggesting questions based on the other person's responses, such as inquiring about classes they are taking, to foster deeper and more meaningful discussions.

💡Parroting Technique

The 'Parroting Technique' is a conversational strategy where one repeats a statement or phrase from the other person as a question to continue the dialogue. The script describes using this technique when one cannot think of a new question, as a way to reignite the conversation and avoid awkward pauses.

💡Memorization

Memorization is the process of learning and retaining information in one's memory. The video script introduces a method for memorizing speeches using the first letter of each word as a guide, which is particularly useful for presentations and public speaking, helping to overcome anxiety and ensure a smooth delivery.

💡Convincing

To be 'Convincing' means to persuade someone to believe or agree with a particular idea or proposal. The script discusses the effectiveness of using the word 'because' to provide justifications, which can increase the persuasiveness of a request, as demonstrated in the experiment involving cutting in line at a copy machine.

💡Negative Association

The concept of 'Negative Association' refers to the phenomenon where speaking negatively about others can reflect poorly on oneself. The video warns against the habit of gossiping or criticizing others, as it can damage one's reputation and relationships, advising to focus on more constructive topics.

💡Online Communication

Online communication involves the exchange of information through digital platforms. The script highlights the importance of using proper grammar, sentence structure, and friendly emojis in online interactions to convey a positive and approachable tone, especially when meeting new people or expressing interest.

💡Point of View

Considering someone's 'Point of View' means understanding and acknowledging their perspective and interests. The video script suggests that when trying to persuade someone, it is effective to present arguments from their perspective, as it shows empathy and increases the likelihood of agreement.

💡Deflecting Praise

Deflecting praise is the act of dismissing or minimizing compliments received. The video emphasizes the importance of accepting and acknowledging compliments graciously, rather than downplaying them, to show appreciation for the giver's kind intentions and to foster positive relationships.

💡Being Weird

The concept of 'Being Weird' in the video script refers to embracing one's unique traits, interests, or hobbies without fear of judgment. It encourages individuals to be authentic and confident in their identity, as this can make them more memorable and help them stand out in social situations, ultimately aiding in forming connections and friendships.

Highlights

The importance of first impressions and the impact they have on how people perceive each other.

The Triple Threat method for making a killer first impression involving hands, eye contact, and posture.

Hands being visible is associated with trust, as explained by Vanessa W Edwards' study.

Eye contact as a way to show engagement and build trust during first meetings.

The significance of good posture in appearing confident and successful.

A simple trick to improve posture by pretending to reach for an apple above your head.

The Interview Technique for genuinely learning about others' interests in conversations.

Using questions to steer conversations towards common ground and spark genuine discussions.

The Parenting Technique or Parroting, for reigniting conversations when you can't think of a question.

Memorizing speeches effectively by using the first letter of each word as a guide.

The increase in convincingness when using the word 'because' in requests.

Avoiding negative association by not talking negatively about others.

The three levels of conversation, with the highest being discussing ideas.

Improving online communication through good grammar, sentence structure, and friendly emojis.

Winning arguments by speaking from the other person's point of view.

The importance of accepting and acknowledging praise rather than deflecting it.

Being open about unique hobbies or interests to make more friends and be memorable.

The overall value of social skills in improving one's quality of life and opening opportunities.

Transcripts

if you're like me your social skills

resemble that of a rock in this video I

will share with you 10 tips that

completely transformed how I communicate

now this is not just a generic guide

telling you to just not be introverted

or how to make small talk because like

it or not when you can't share ideas

interact with others and just be

friendly and well-liked it's like

playing the game on Hardcore versus

normal mode so without any further Ado

let's head right into number one number

one

how to easily make a killer first

impression why does a first impression

even matter I understand as an introvert

myself I simply cannot be comfortable

with someone unless I've spent a

significant amount of time with them

well surprisingly enough the first

impression has a massive impact on how

you and others perceive people consider

the following study by behavioral

psychologist Vanessa W Edwards so in

this study they showed participants

ranging from from 15 seconds to 5

minutes of a TED Talk for context a TED

Talk is an event where a speaker comes

in and presents about a topic that

they're an expert in now you'd think

that a TED Talk would depend on what the

speakers say right I mean the lecture

content is literally the whole point of

a TED talk but interestingly enough the

study found that participants that

watched the TED talks for 15 seconds

versus 5 minutes rated them almost the

same now how is this possible well it's

all because of the speaker's first

impression on the audience so enough

back story how can you make a first

impression well from what I found it's

actually really simple it takes just

three steps it's called The Triple

Threat method now I learned this method

in an amazing book by the same author

who did the study the book is called

Captivate by Vanessa van Edwards the

first part of a great impression is your

hands now I want you to do this keep

your hands out keep them visible I know

this sounds silly because you know what

effect could our hands possibly have on

how people view us well it turns out

that we associate our hands with trust

if someone is hiding their hands you

know you don't know if they're just cold

or if they're hiding a Glock in

prehistoric times the only way like a

caveman could be assured that their

fellow caveman wasn't an OP was by

seeing if their hands had weapons or not

okay now for number two in the triple

threat method is your eye when you meet

someone for the first time seek out and

make eye contact with them now I know

what you're probably feeling for me too

making eye contact is really

uncomfortable I was either focusing on

the conversation or focusing on making

eye contact the good thing is for a

first impression you don't need to think

it's all nonverbal now why do we make

eye contact well it shows the other

person that you are engaged and paying

attention to only them it's another

aspect that builds trust think about it

only untrustworthy people would Dart

their eyes around you like as if they're

hiding something so if you aren't hiding

anything then it shouldn't be an issue

the final aspect of the Triple Threat

first impression method your posture now

if you're a gamer like me you probably

have a posture resembling a Fresh Ocean

prawn okay like we're in our gaming

chairs dude we look crustation as hell

all right however this is not the

posture of a winner now what do I mean

well when you see an athlete winning a

race take notice of their posture how do

they stand well they stand tall they

widen their body they take up more

physical space and why wouldn't they

they just won something amazing I want

you to assume a similar posture meaning

Stand Tall keep your shoulders wide and

back and keep your back straight here is

a super easy trick I learned for

resuming a great posture here's what I

want you to do and do this with me

pretend there is an apple just above

your head now you have to bite into this

apple without reaching for it with your

hands you can only bite down on it with

like your with your teeth now do this

with me try to reach the Apple okay the

apple is just above your head try to

reach it now what you'll find is that as

you try and reach this apple your

shoulders will go back you'll puff out

your chest and you'll make your back

straight there you go if you've done

this with me you now have perfect

posture The Stance of a winner and and

that's it we're done those are the three

steps and you will make a great first

first impression now how do we know this

how do we know that these three steps

are the keys to making a great first

impression well this takes me back to

the Ted Talk experiment I mentioned

earlier in that very experiment it was

only the speakers that used all three of

these techniques that were rated the

best regardless of whether they talked

for 15 seconds or 5 minutes so now we're

on to tip number two so now that you

have learned to make a great first

impression what's next I don't know

about you but I really dislike small

talk as they call it right like just

talking about generic things the weather

how someone's weekend was to me it feels

really artificial in genuine and it

honestly feels like I'm having the same

conversation over and over again so this

is the technique that I learned that

helps me talk with people and genuinely

learn more about their interests okay

because as an introvert myself I want to

genuinely know people I value quality

over quantity and this helps me get

these quality relationships with almost

anyone I call it the interview technique

if you really think about it most

conversations are really like an

interview right unless you're discussing

an idea with a person which is pretty

unlikely with someone that you newly

meet then most of our conversations at

heart are just exchanging questions so

why don't you use this to your advantage

after you make your first impression I

want you to just do a nice common intro

don't sweat this okay so for example

suppose you're at a club meeting and you

meet someone from your grade during an

ice break oh no you know the ice of

Breakers are always the worst now what I

would probably say in my case is hey my

name is Tran and I'm in 12th grade I

mean I graduated now but let's just

assume then let the other person say a

similarly generic intro right then

they'd probably say hey my name is Steve

for example and I'm in 11th grade now at

this point what most of us would do is

would try to think of something clever

or interesting to say about ourselves

and then this conversation would soon

fade into this awkward silence and then

it would have an equally awkward goodbye

okay if you have experienced this you

know what I'm talking about let's fix

this now in going back to this example

with Steve right Steve just told me that

he's in 11th grade what questions can we

ask Steve to genuinely learn more about

him here's what I'd say for example I'd

say 11th grade nice what classes that

you're taking right then they' probably

say oh I'm taking AP Bio AP US History

etc etc right now when when you've

learned about their classes now what

would you do you guessed it you would

ask another question continue the

interview really get some depth here

after as introverts and I don't know

about you but I hate surface level

relationships this is how you break past

that surface level and actually know

someone so suppose I mentioned their

classes then I might say oh Steve that's

cool AP Bio I took that last year what's

been your favorite chapter so far and on

and on look at that in just two

questions we went from complete

strangers to fellow AP Bio survivors

that have an common ground to talk about

and see if you're the one controlling

the questions you can almost always

steer the conversation to to a common

ground that you know a lot about and

from there you can really spark a

genuine conversation with the person all

right now here is number three now this

one is pretty close to number two so

let's dive right into it suppose you're

doing great with the interview technique

you're asking great questions and really

learning a lot about the other person

but what if you just can't think of a

non awkward question for the life of you

this is where I introduce the parenting

technique now I learned this technique

from another fantastic book I read

called 92 tips and tricks for great

success in relationships by Le louns to

learn the parading technique let's bring

back the AP Bio example so you guys are

talking about the chapter on cellular

respiration you find the person that

you're talking to really interesting but

you can't think of any follow-up

conversations and you don't want to have

this awkward goodbye that you're used to

so for example let's say Steve here says

the following so yeah after that chapter

9 quiz I never want to look at another

KB cycle again right suppose Steve just

said this now you can't think of a

question no problem you The Parting

technique just choose anything that the

person said and parrot it back to them

as a question so for example Steve here

mentioned the chapter 9 quiz what I

would say is just simply chapter 9 quiz

it's a question right boom the

conversation has just been reignited now

I will say don't use this technique more

than three to four times in a row as

then the person will likely catch on to

it however it's a great way to give your

conversation some life again and stop

these awkward endings and pauses with

equally awkward goodby bues speaking of

awkward goodbyes if this is your first

time watching my channel I would hate

for us to also have an awkward goodbye

when this video ends so how about you

subscribe subscribe because that way

I'll know that these tips are helpful

and I should keep making more content

like this thank you so much now for

number four here is an invaluable tip

for giving any public speech now you

guys have probably had your fair share

of class speeches and performances now

I'm not going to lie I have always loved

presenting I mean I literally present to

all 31.8k of your Legends each time I

upload however even if you do have

presentation anxiety here's a excellent

tip I've learned for you now one of the

main issues with presenting is that you

have not memorized your speech properly

it's obvious right you can't give a good

speech if you don't know your speech

however memorizing is annoying and takes

forever well that was until you watched

this video with this method I have

memorized speeches so fast it's insane

here's how you do it now you take your

speech and I want you to write the first

letter of each word on your paper now I

want you to go sentence by sentence read

each sentence of your speech three to

four times then cover that sentence and

use your sheet of first letters to guide

you now most of the time you only need

the first letters of a speech as a set

of like rails for the speech right now I

learned this method when I was

performing a skit of McBeth in my

British literature class now apparently

this method is used a lot in stagecraft

if you did theater you guys can confirm

in the comments and this method Works

insanely well after you work through

your entire speech try reading it with

just the first letters as a guide and

you'll find that it's actually really

easy then after you can read it with the

first letters very naturally take away

the letters now instead of having to

memorize the entire speech you just have

to memorize the first letter of each

word easy and you know with this method

I learned my entire lines for MC Beth in

one afternoon with my friend it's

actually overpowered and when it comes

time for your speech use the first

impression technique again stand like a

winner keep your hands out make eye

contact and say you're perfectly

memorize speech I understand it's a lot

easier said than done but I really

haven't heard anyone talk about this and

I really think that if you know your

speech by heart even if you have Parable

presentation anxiety you can just go on

autopilot and say your speech and you'll

get through it so try this out now here

for number five is an amazing and easy

technique to be more convincing I

present here another EXP experiment now

in this experiment they had a test

subject stand in line at a copy machine

now in trial number one the subject

simply asked the person in front can I

cut in front of you now in this scenario

the test subject was allowed to cut

roughly 60% of the time in trial number

two the subject asked the following

question can I cut in front of you

because I'm in a hurry now in this case

the success rate increased to

95% a 35% increase but here's where it

gets even more interesting finally in

trial number three the subject asked

this question can I cut in front of you

because I need to make copies now if you

didn't catch it this is a ridiculous

question everyone in the line for the

copy machine needs to make copies

however interestingly enough for this

trial the success rate was

94% just 1% lower than the person with

an actual reason for cutting the line

now what does this show us well it shows

us that the key to being more convincing

is to Simply use the word because as

humans we love hearing justifications

for anything we love hearing why we

should do something however on the

contrary when we ask for things for

people we very rarely actually give the

reason why now personally I believe the

reason is because often our

justification is implied right you think

that yeah of course you know this person

understands why I'm asking this however

as we saw by this experiment mentioning

the reason does have an impact let's use

an example that you might have faced in

the past you asking your teacher to

round your grade now the strategy you

guys might be using is to go up to your

teacher and say hi Mrs whatever right

would you mind runting my grade now the

reasons are implied right you probably

are close to the next grade it implies

your GPA and you know of course your

teacher understands this but what I want

you to do next time is say it say can

you round my grade because I'm only 1%

off from an A and I really believe my

effort in this class is deserving of an

a I know this sounds really obvious in

hindsight right like you're probably

going to type in the comments wow this

guy's so stupid this is the most obvious

thing ever but believe it or not if you

don't consciously do this you don't say

it trust me okay the next time you just

walk into conversation you realize that

you don't naturally say justifications

to things so it's very important to be

aware of this fact now for number six

avoid talking about other people

I'm taking it a step further with this

one I'm not just saying oh don't be mean

of course don't be mean right but

there's an underlying reason to this you

might not be aware of and it seriously

impacts how people perceive you here's

another example for you guys so suppose

we got Walter I'm using Breaking Bad

here as an example Walter is talking

some smack about his friend Jesse to his

other friend Gus now Walt is going off

on Jesse you know calling him all kinds

of names and profanities now

interestingly enough Gus cannot help but

associate exactly what Walt is saying

about Jesse back onto Walter this is

what I call the law of negative

association this is a real studied

phenomenon so the way this relates to

you is that by talking about

someone behind their back to everyone

around you you are actually saying the

same things about yourself and

especially if you do this constantly it

has a drastic effect on the way people

view you obviously sometimes there will

be a scenario where you need to

criticize someone for example you're

telling your boss about your Troublesome

coworker now in these situations yeah

it's unavoidable right you got to say

like oh my coworker is crap he doesn't

do anything what I'm more focused on in

this example is this constant ranting

about other people to your friends and

and those around you okay it's so common

it's so easy especially in high school

to fall into this trap like a lot of

people do it right just whenever you

meet up with someone you just spend your

whole time talking about other people

it's very damaging to everyone's

relationship in this scenario so

seriously avoid this like the plague cuz

it's destroying your relationships talk

about something more constructive than

other people okay I'm not sure where I

heard it but it's very true there's

three levels of conversation level one

which is the lowest intelligence and

easiest is talking about other people

right but it doesn't produce anything in

society in fact it brings you down now

level two is talking about things right

just things that are happening in the

world like sure you know that's fair

enough and then finally number three

which is high intelligence High effort

But ultimately impactful conversation is

talking about ideas try and talk as much

as possible at level three talk about

ideas talk about actual tangible things

that make a difference in your life and

certainly don't spend all your time

talking about other people it's easy to

do but it doesn't get you anywhere so

really I mean that's a bit of a rant

sorry about that but but seriously it

does make a big difference all right

number seven now if you're watching this

video a lot of your communication is

likely through the internet so here's

how to be better conversations online

now literally one of the simplest things

is just using good grammar sentence

structure and friendly Emoji now again

right this one comes across as obvious

but if you don't believe me just look at

your current online chats okay that

stuff would give an aneurysm to a 17th

century Pilgrim if you know the person

it's your best friend then you know what

whatever right I don't care but

especially if you're getting to meet

someone new or someone you like

something like that really it makes the

difference it's not like edgy or cool to

use a bunch of abbreviations you're

better off actually typing in complete

sentences in addition to that we also

have emojis see even a simple smiley

face emoticon goes a long way there a

difference between this message coming

across as dull and hostile or coming

across as a perfectly innocent happy

message by the way if you do want to

practice these online interactions a

great place to do so is my Discord

server consider joining because I'm

really active there and of course it's

also the easiest way to reach me the

link is also in the pin comments all

right now for number eight here's a

helpful tip to help you win any argument

or discussion this is a tip I learned

from a fantastic book and it's called

How to Win Friends and Influence People

by Dale carnegi when you're trying to

convince someone of anything always

speak from their point of view view

let's consider another example suppose

you're trying to convince Steve to come

study with you because you need his help

understanding the material however Steve

is more interested in playing Minecraft

now what most of us would do is tell

Steve all the reasons why studying is

beneficial we would say you can get a

better score on the test or oh you'll

feel good about yourself etc etc while

these reasons are true they're simply

voicing our own reasons for studying we

need to genuinely consider Steve's side

in this scenario Steve doesn't want to

study he wants to play Minecraft we need

to show Steve that studying with us will

help him play more Minecraft here's what

I would say instead hey Steve I know

you're so close to beating the Ender

Dragon I was thinking wouldn't it be

cool if we could crush this math test so

we have more free time to play

afterwards by studying now we can raise

our grades so we don't have to study as

much later and we can get more time to

play Minecraft look at the difference

now Steve has significantly more

incentive to listen to me as it benefits

him too you won't always be able to

phrase requests as mutually beneficial

however when you can it's insanely

effective plus being able to consider

the other person's side is a really

important skill to navigate people and

this technique is a great way to

practice it all right number nine never

ever deflect praise okay I want this to

be the last time you ever receive a

compliment or praise and then go I'm

actually not that good I'm actually not

that smart etc etc I want you to

consider it like this suppose you

mustered up the courage to genuinely

compliment someone right you you

considered this person's honorable or

impressive action and told them how you

felt now how would you feel if you did

this and gave a compliment and the other

person basically said no you're wrong

right that that's basically what you are

saying by deflecting praise now trust me

okay I have been through it too for the

the longest time I hated receiving

praise it made me feel really awkward

and I suppose that it's because I gained

self- validation through my own work but

even still it's very off-putting for

other people when you deflect praise

simply saying thank you to a compliment

isn't really good enough okay think

about it we say thank you as a trivial

term we say thanks when someone opens

the door for us I mean we say thanks

when a cashier hands us an item that we

paid for right so why would you provide

the same trivial for praise to someone

who just gave you sincere praise always

always say thank you for if someone

praised you on your PVP skills just say

thanks for the compliment I'm glad you

noticed or suppose your friend dropped

you off at home even though it was a

long drive say thank you for dropping me

off you really saved me a ton of time

right as compared to think about your

friend just drove you to your house you

didn't have to do that and all you just

said was thanks bro and then you just

walked back to your house that's so

empty right that at least for me I'm not

sure how it feels for you but that feels

so trivial and this takes just 5 to 10

seconds but trust me it really makes the

other person feel appreciate it I think

most of the time all that we're looking

for in return for Our Kind acts is

acknowledgement right we simply want the

other person to tell us genuinely that

they appreciated the kind act we did for

them so by using this method you are

doing that and it's very simple just

thank you for X that's it finally for

number 10 here's how to make more

friends now now for me making friends

was honestly never an issue but I feel

this is mainly because I use this method

I was never afraid to be weird being

basic is not a virtue it's a signal that

you're hiding who you truly are I was

out here in senior year of high school

sharing with anyone that asked that I

was a Minecraft Youtuber I had a post

celebrating 30k subscribers on my

personal Instagram that only my IRL

friends see let's be real here my

Minecraft Youtuber is not a cool

combination I expected most people would

make fun of me for it but they didn't

99% of people who heard this found it

really cool and it was something

memorable I did sure it's a little weird

but I was known by this it helped me so

much with making friends and connections

listen I could have hidden everything

for fear of being weird but that's not

what makes you memorable or interesting

fitting an aesthetic doesn't make you

memorable or interesting you have a

strange hobby interest Talent OR skill

even if you're just a Minecraft player

like me share it I can almost guarantee

no one will view this in a negative way

and you will be known for something

another thing this does is that it goes

a long way in making you more confident

listen you you got to own who you are

and what you like because if you don't

have confidence in yourself you

seriously can't expect anyone to have

confidence in you so after watching this

video I have just one request for you go

out and share something interesting you

do post it on your Instagram add a note

in your Discord bio and if you don't

think you do anything interesting I want

you to pick something up literally try

any hobby or anything to make yourself

stand out more be known for something

and that wraps up number 10 a final

tidbit here I want to emphasize why do

social skills as a whole even matter

well it's because they improve your

quality of life when you invest time

into social skills people go from being

like prison bars like obstacles in your

way to like doors doors that open up

more opportunities love it or hate it we

do sometimes have to interact with

others introverted or not so hopefully

when that opportunity comes by this

video will have given you something to

talk about or make your conversations

arguments negotiations or presentations

go a lot smoother that's all for this

video join my Discord server if you want

to talk with me and thanks for watching

see you