Batman helps you overcome self-sabotage...#batman #thedarkknight #batmanarkhamknight #father

Summary

The script challenges the common belief that emotions must dictate our actions, highlighting the self-sabotage that arises from such reliance. It emphasizes the importance of developing self-discipline by becoming aware of and creating distance from our emotions. The speaker introduces mindfulness as a tool to train the conscious self, allowing for better control over life's direction. The script concludes with an exercise to practice this awareness and discipline, advocating for small, consistent actions that align with one's values to pave the way for a better life.

Takeaways

• 🚫 Feelings as a Barrier: The script emphasizes that relying on feelings to dictate actions can often lead to self-sabotage and prevent us from achieving our goals.
• 🌟 Inner Leadership: It suggests that we already possess an inner leadership within ourselves that can guide us towards better decisions and actions, independent of our fluctuating emotions.
• 🔍 Awareness and Attention: Becoming aware of our emotions and paying attention to them is crucial in identifying when they are steering us in a self-destructive direction.
• 🧘 Mindfulness as a Tool: Mindfulness is presented as a practical tool for training our conscious self to disengage from autopilot and reconnect with the present moment.
• 🤔 Psychological Distance: Creating psychological distance from our emotions allows us to acknowledge feelings without being controlled by them, providing the autonomy to act independently.
• 💪 Self-Discipline Development: The script outlines an exercise to develop self-discipline, which is essential for making decisions and taking actions aligned with our values, despite emotional challenges.
• 🌱 Small Steps for Big Changes: It advocates for making small, consistent, values-oriented moves that, over time, can lead to significant transformations in one's life.
• 🌀 Dethroning Emotional Saboteurs: The process of changing our internal command structure to dethrone emotional saboteurs is not easy or quick, and it requires consistent effort and practice.
• 🔄 Overcoming Inconsistency: The script acknowledges that inconsistency is part of the process of change, and it's important not to let this deter us from our goal of progress.
• 🌟 Better Self Advocacy: Our 'better self' is interested in good outcomes rather than fleeting good feelings, advocating for decisions that are beneficial in the long term.
• 🎯 Aligning Actions with Values: The ultimate goal is to align our actions with our deepest values and best interests, even when they are not accompanied by immediate positive emotions.

Q & A

What is the common lie that the speaker refers to at the beginning of the script?

The common lie is the belief that we must feel a certain way, such as being motivated, inspired, or energetic, before we can take action on our goals and commitments.

What does the speaker suggest is the most persistent form of self-sabotage?

The speaker suggests that allowing feelings to dictate actions, and thus preventing oneself from accomplishing what is known to be necessary, is the most persistent form of self-sabotage.

What is the 'better self' according to the speaker?

The 'better self' is the part of an individual that knows when they are not doing what they ought to, convicts them, and is interested in good outcomes rather than just good feelings.

Why do good feelings often not accompany the initial effort of doing something good for oneself?

Good feelings typically do not accompany the initial effort because the hard work comes first, and the good feelings often come later, after the effort has been made.

What is the significance of creating psychological distance from one's emotions?

Creating psychological distance is significant because it allows a person to disassociate from their emotions, enabling them to act independently of how they feel and preventing emotions from dictating their actions.

What is the role of mindfulness in addressing self-sabotage?

Mindfulness is a tool for training one's conscious self to observe what the mind, body, and emotions are doing in response to the moment, which helps in recognizing when emotions are attempting to control one's life.

Why is it important to pay attention to our feelings when trying to prevent self-sabotage?

Paying attention to our feelings is important because it helps identify when and how our emotions are overriding our reason and leading us down self-destructive paths, which is the first step in addressing the problem.

What is the exercise the speaker suggests to help manage emotions and prevent self-sabotage?

The exercise involves tuning into bodily sensations, noticing surrounding sounds, focusing on the environment, and then examining an unpleasant emotion without judgment to create psychological distance and make a decision aligned with one's values.

How can the small, values-oriented actions suggested by the speaker have a significant impact over time?

These small actions, when performed consistently over time, can have a compounding effect, leading to significant transformation in one's life and preventing emotions from sabotaging one's future.

What is the primary goal of the exercise and the training the speaker discusses?

The primary goal is to develop self-discipline and a system for making small, values-oriented moves each time one encounters a difficult emotion, which collectively pave the way to a better and more fruitful life.

What advice does the speaker give for maintaining progress and not giving up despite feelings of faltering?

The speaker advises to stay focused, be diligent in training, and always press forward, regardless of feelings or setbacks, with the understanding that better times and results will follow with determination and attentiveness.

Outlines

00:00

🚩 Overcoming Emotional Roadblocks

The script addresses the common misconception that emotions must dictate our actions. It highlights how feelings can often serve as barriers to achieving our goals, leading to self-sabotage. The narrator suggests that we need to develop better leadership within ourselves to override the whims of our emotions. This internal leadership is described as our 'better self,' which is always present but can be drowned out by our manic emotions. The better self is concerned with long-term outcomes rather than immediate feelings. The script emphasizes the difficulty of changing this internal dynamic, as emotions have been in control for a long time and won't relinquish control easily. It sets the stage for a journey of self-improvement that requires awareness and consistency.

05:01

🧘‍♂️ Cultivating Mindfulness and Psychological Distance

This paragraph delves into the importance of mindfulness as a tool for self-improvement. It explains that mindfulness is not about spiritual awakening but rather a method to train the conscious self to be present and aware. By observing our thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, we can recognize when our emotions are attempting to control our actions. The script introduces the concept of 'distance,' which is the psychological space created by differentiating our emotions from our identity. This distinction allows us to acknowledge our feelings without being controlled by them, providing us the autonomy to act despite our emotional state. The narrator provides an exercise to help develop this skill, emphasizing the importance of being attentive to the present moment and our internal experiences.

10:02

💪 Taking Action Despite Emotions

The final paragraph focuses on leveraging the psychological distance created through mindfulness to take action aligned with our values, even when faced with negative emotions. It encourages examining emotions objectively, without judgment, to disassociate from them and see them as temporary occurrences within us, not defining us. The script suggests making a decision and taking action that serves our best interests, regardless of our emotional state. This action doesn't have to be grand but should be consistent and values-driven. The exercise provided earlier is reiterated as a means to develop self-discipline and to make small, productive moves that, over time, can lead to significant life changes. The paragraph concludes with a motivational note to stay focused, be diligent, and never give up, promising better times and results with consistent effort.

Keywords

💡Self-sabotage

Self-sabotage refers to the act of unintentionally or consciously engaging in behavior that undermines one's own goals or well-being. In the video's context, it is the persistent form of behavior where individuals allow their feelings to dictate their actions, leading to a lack of consistency and progress towards their goals. The script mentions how feelings can present a roadblock, preventing action even when it is necessary.

💡Motivation

Motivation is the internal drive or desire that prompts individuals to take action towards achieving a goal. The video discusses the common misconception that one must feel motivated or energetic to act, which can lead to inaction when such feelings are absent. It challenges the notion that feelings should be prerequisites for taking action.

💡Better self

The 'better self' is a concept in the script that represents the part of an individual that knows what is right and seeks to act in their best interest. It is the internal voice that guides actions towards positive outcomes rather than just seeking immediate good feelings. The script emphasizes the importance of this part of oneself in leading to good decisions and outcomes.

💡Leadership

Leadership, in the context of the video, is the ability to direct oneself effectively towards achieving goals. It is about taking control over one's actions and emotions to ensure consistency and progress. The script suggests that individuals need better leadership, or a 'new captain,' to steer their lives away from the whims of their changing moods.

💡Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a mental state of being fully present and engaged in the current moment, without judgment. The video describes it as a tool for training the conscious self to disconnect from autopilot and reconnect with the present. It is used to create awareness of one's emotions and actions, helping to identify when feelings are taking control and guiding one down self-destructive paths.

💡Emotional regulation

Emotional regulation is the ability to manage and control one's emotions effectively. The script discusses the importance of this skill in creating psychological distance from strong feelings or impulses, allowing individuals to act independently of their emotional state. It is a key component in developing self-discipline and avoiding self-sabotage.

💡Psychological distance

Psychological distance refers to the mental space created by differentiating one's emotions from one's identity. In the video, it is the space that allows individuals to acknowledge their feelings without being consumed by them, enabling them to make decisions that are not dictated by their immediate emotional state.

💡Self-discipline

Self-discipline is the ability to control one's impulses and emotions in order to pursue long-term goals. The video highlights self-discipline as a crucial skill developed through the practice of mindfulness and creating psychological distance. It is the skill that allows individuals to make small, values-oriented moves consistently, leading to significant life changes over time.

💡Values

Values are the principles or standards that guide an individual's beliefs and actions. In the context of the video, values are the deep-seated principles that should align with one's actions, even when emotions are challenging. The script encourages making decisions and taking actions that are aligned with one's values, as a means to overcome self-sabotage.

💡Progress

Progress, in the video, is the incremental advancement towards one's goals, despite setbacks or inconsistencies. It is the focus on the journey of growth and change, rather than the end result. The script emphasizes that progress, not perfection, is the goal, and that consistent small steps can lead to significant life improvements.

💡Attention

Attention, as discussed in the video, is the act of focusing one's mind on a particular task or object. It is one of the key weapons against self-sabotage, as it helps identify when emotions are taking control and guiding actions in self-destructive directions. The script suggests that paying attention is crucial for creating the space needed to maneuver through emotions and make better decisions.

Highlights

The common misconception that feelings must dictate our actions is a persistent form of self-sabotage.

The importance of separating feelings from actions to achieve consistency and avoid mood-driven decisions.

The existence of an internal 'better self' that can guide actions towards good outcomes, not just good feelings.

The challenge of altering one's internal command structure to overcome self-sabotage is not easy or quick.

The need for awareness and mindfulness to identify when emotions are taking control of one's life.

Mindfulness as a tool to train the conscious self to observe and disengage from autopilot.

Creating psychological distance as a method to disassociate from strong feelings or impulses.

The distinction between experiencing emotions and identifying with them is crucial for self-control.

The exercise of noticing and examining emotions without judgment to create psychological distance.

Making decisions and taking actions aligned with deep values, even in the face of difficult emotions.

The practical exercise provided to develop the skill of creating psychological distance from emotions.

The importance of practicing mindfulness regularly to increase attunement to one's thoughts and feelings.

The compounding effect of making small, values-oriented moves consistently over time.

The transformative impact of consistently dealing with emotions and making productive moves on one's life.

The necessity of staying focused and diligent in training to develop self-discipline.

The encouragement to press forward despite feelings and setbacks for better times and results.

Transcripts

one of the most common Lies We often buy

into is the notion that we have to to

feel a particular way in order to take

action that we must feel motivated

inspired energetic or generally in good

spirits to execute upon our goals and

commitments how many times have you

intended to do something only to find

that when the time came to do it your

feelings presented you with a

roadblock how many times has your

attitude your mood your desires or

Cravings presented resist distance which

has held you back from accomplishing

what you know you

must I'm willing to wager that this

above all else is the most persistent

form of self-sabotage that you subject

yourself to you allow your feelings to

dictate what you do you subordinate

right action to the whims of your Ever

Changing

moods you can't achieve consistency

because your inconsistent feelings are

driving your

actions what you you need is better

leadership a Changing of the

Guard you need a new and more

trustworthy Captain to steer the ship of

your body and your

soul the good news is that the

leadership you need already exists you

don't have to go out of your way to find

it it's in you right now if you listen

close you can hear it your manic

emotions will often drown it out but

it's there it's always speaking to you

it's your better self the part of you

that knows when you're not doing what

you ought to the part that convicts you

the part that brought you here the part

that's resonating with what I'm saying

right now it wants good for you not good

feelings but good outcomes you know all

too well that good feelings are fleeting

things here one moment and quickly gone

on the next you also know that when you

attempt to do something which is

actually good for you good feelings

typically don't accompany the initial

effort they come later after you've

performed the hard work your better self

isn't interested in you feeling good at

least not in the near term it's

concerned with ensuring that you are

good to yourself to others and to the

Future which will ultimately result from

the decisions you make right now but to

do its job your better self must take

command so so how do we make that

happen before answering this question I

need to disabuse you of one very false

notion namely that the process of

altering your internal command structure

will be easy or quick it won't be count

on it your feelings have been steering

the ship for a very long time and they

won't give up the captain's seat easily

you will struggle you will be

inconsistent you will fall back into Old

patterns don't don't expect otherwise

and don't allow this inevitability to

shake your resolve to grow and to

change you won't do this perfectly but

Perfection isn't the goal progress

is now to Dethrone the part of you bent

on self-sabotage you'll first need to

become aware of how and when it exerts

command influence over your life you do

this in two ways by paying attention and

creating

distance

attention is one of your most crucial

weapons in the fight against your

shifting moods yet it's often

neglected intuitively you believe you

should be doing something not Naval

gazing so you skip this part and try to

force a solution via other means but it

never works time and time again you find

yourself right back where you began

scratching your head and wondering why

your erratic emotions have thwarted yet

another attempt to make genuine change

the reality is you can't address a

problem until youve first identified it

and that's what attention does it

identifies when and in what ways your

feelings override your reason and guide

you down self-destructive

paths to stop your feelings from

dictating your actions you need to catch

them in the act you need to notice when

your feelings are taking hold because

it's in noticing your feelings that

you'll begin to create the crucial space

needed to maneuver through and around

them let me be very clear on this point

every time you've allowed your emotions

to steer your life in a bad Direction it

was because you weren't paying attention

you were so fused with how you felt that

you were blind to what the feeling was

doing to you and where it was taking you

if you want to make meaningful progress

in addressing self-sabotage you must

learn to notice when your feelings have

begun to undermine the interests of your

better self to do this you'll require

training a lot of it the best way to get

that training is through

mindfulness mindfulness isn't an

exercise in Spiritual Awakening it's a

tool a method for training your

conscious self to turn off autopilot and

reconnect with what's happening right

now if you can train yourself to observe

what your mind body and emotions are

doing in response to the circumstances

of the moment

you'll be better equipped to recognize

when your emotions are reaching for the

control levers of your

life by catching your emotions in the

act of dictating your actions or

reactions you'll position yourself to

take the next crucial step in resting

back

control creating psychological

distance to act in opposition to a

strong feeling or impulse you must first

disassociate from it this disassociation

is what we'll call distance it's the

space created when you differentiate

what you feel from who you

are when you experience a powerful

impulse like anger depression or anxiety

it's common to identify with it you say

I'm angry I'm depressed I'm anxious

you're not trained to notice the

inherent distinction between the

experience and the one experiencing it

you don't realize that to feel something

is not the same thing as being what you

feel why is this distinction

important because once you become aware

of the fact that you are not what you

feel you'll soon recognize that the real

you has autonomy to act regardless of

how good or bad you're feeling you'll

realize that anger depression and

anxiety don't need to get a vote they

don't have to dictate what you do you

can move despite

them this is what distance affords you

the space to acknowledge the reality of

what you're feeling without identifying

with

it you've done this before perhaps many

times without knowing it to get along in

life you'll need to have regulated your

emotions to at least some degree have

you gone to work when you didn't feel

like it have you held your tongue when

you wanted to lash out if so you'll have

shown that you can when necessary deny

your impulses to make a more effective

decision in the moment the trick is to

do this more intentionally and with

greater

frequency fortunately I have an exercise

designed to help you do just

that if you practice this technique

regularly you'll find that over time

you'll become far more attuned to what

you're thinking and feeling which in

turn will afford you more opportunities

to establish psychological distance and

reassert command over the part of you

prone to

self-sabotage most of all the exercise

I'm going to share with you will lay the

foundation for the development of life's

most crucial skill

self-discipline to begin I want you to

take a deep breath as you make a slow

exhale tune into your body and its

Sensations feel the support under you

the texture of the surface on your skin

the temperature of the room room if

there is soreness in your body notice it

if you feel relaxed notice that

too now take another deep breath on a

long exhale focus in on the various

sounds which surround you notice at

least five of them look for sounds close

to you and sounds at a distance whatever

these sounds are don't label or judge

them just notice that they're

there take one more breath and on the

exhale open your eyes and try to notice

the details of your

environment try to make yourself as

present as

possible get out of your thoughts and

get as focused as you can on what you

can see around you notice small details

which you hadn't noticed before Focus

your vision and try to see these things

as clearly as you

can in just the span of three breaths

you're already more attuned to the

present moment you're turning off a Co

pilot and connecting with the world

around

you this is a good start you're aware

now and primed for your next

objective to develop the skill of

creating psychological

[Music]

distance to do this I'll need you to

connect with an unpleasant emotion if

you're already feeling stressed angry or

anxious that's good in fact I recommend

that you use this exercise to create

distance from difficult emotions which

arise naturally throughout your

day once you've identified or recalled a

challenging emotion I want you to

examine it without Judgment of any kind

simply notice the feeling what's its

intensity where do you feel it in your

body is the sensation steady or does it

fluctuate by putting what you feel under

a microscope you automatically

disassociate yourself from it in doing

this the distinction between the emotion

and the one experiencing it become

sharper instead of identifying with what

you feel you become the space in which

it happens much like the sky during a

storm no matter how fiercely the storm

rages the sky is not the storm nor is it

harmed by it the sky is simply the space

in which the storm happens we know this

because when the storm has passed the

sky is still there and so it is with

you no matter how intense the emotions

you're experiencing happen to be when

they've passed you'll still be there

emotions may occur within you but they

are not you it is this separation which

affords you the chance to make

independent moves regardless of what you

feel and that is exactly what I want you

to do now

leveraging the psychological distance

you've created I want you to make a

decision one which results in some

action that is aligned with your deepest

values and with your very best interest

it doesn't have to be Monumental and it

doesn't need to be complex it just needs

to meet the criteria I've

mentioned perhaps this means stepping

outside for some fresh air cleaning up

your personal space getting a workout in

or reaching out to a loved one Whatever

It Is do

it the exercise I've laid out for you

isn't difficult or time intensive it's

intended to be short and practical

something you can Implement virtually

any time and in any place when used

properly and with enough consistency it

will provide you with a much needed Edge

in dealing with difficult

emotions more importantly it will

provide you with the space to make small

productive moves with greater

consistency moves which if performed

over time will have a compounding effect

on your life an effect which will

radically transform your present

circumstances this is your primary goal

this is why you train to develop a

system for making small values oriented

moves each and every time you encounter

a difficult emotion if you can do this

consistently those small seemingly

insignificant moves will be as

cobblestones along your current path

providing sure footing and collectively

Paving the way to a better and more

fruitful life a life you can scarcely

dream of a life you could never achieve

if your unexamined emotions were left to

sabotage your

future so stay focused and be diligent

in your training no matter what you feel

no matter how much you falter never give

up up and always press forward if you're

determined and if you're attentive

better times and better results are sure

to follow and that's what I want I want

better for you so if you want the same

and if you're

ready let's go to

work