4 Things I Wish I Knew in My 20s
Summary
TLDRIn this heartfelt video, Sara shares four pieces of advice for those in their 20s as she reflects on her own journey turning 30. She encourages embracing the chaos and taking calculated risks, distinguishing between right and wrong types of failures, and the importance of not making oneself sick from stress. Sara emphasizes the value of intentionality and hard work, while acknowledging that while one can't have everything, they can have a lot by staying true to oneself and being resilient through life's challenges.
Takeaways
- 🎉 Embracing the Chaos: The speaker reflects on the excitement and chaos of being in their 20s, suggesting that it's a time for taking risks and being intentional with life choices.
- 🚀 Experimentation is Key: The 20s are highlighted as a prime time for experimentation, travel, and fearlessness, rather than playing it safe.
- 💡 The Power of Having 'Nothing': Being in the 20s is a special time because you have time and can take risks without as much to lose, encouraging calculated risks.
- 🛑 Right and Wrong Failures: There's a distinction between failures that teach and empower, and those that come from lack of control or being led by others' expectations.
- 🏆 Extreme Ownership: The importance of having control over one's projects and ventures is emphasized, as it leads to more meaningful experiences and growth.
- 🤒 Stop Making Yourself Sick: The speaker shares personal experiences of health issues stemming from stress, urging the audience to avoid unnecessary stress that can harm physical and mental health.
- 🧘♀️ Self-Care and Reflection: The need for self-care and reflecting on one's life to ensure a healthier and more fulfilling journey through the 20s is stressed.
- 💪 Intentional Hard Work: Success comes from being intentional, relentless, and putting in hard work, as highlighted by the speaker's own experiences and growth.
- 🤷♀️ You Can't Have It All: Accepting that while you can't have everything, being intentional allows you to have a lot and enjoy the fruits of your labor.
- 🎯 Sacrifice for the Greater Good: The speaker acknowledges the sacrifices made in their 20s, like social activities, in favor of building skills and pursuing passions.
- 🌟 Gratitude and Self-Reflection: As the speaker approaches their 30s, they express gratitude for the lessons learned and the wisdom gained from the past decade.
Q & A
What is the main theme of Sara's video?
-The main theme of Sara's video is sharing advice for people in their 20s based on her experiences and lessons learned as she transitions into her 30s.
What does Sara consider as the 'sweet time' in one's life?
-Sara considers the time when one has nothing but time on their hands as the 'sweet time' in one's life, which allows them to take risks and do 'crazy stuff' without much to lose.
What is Sara's perspective on calculated risks during one's 20s?
-Sara believes that taking calculated risks in one's 20s, such as traveling, starting a business, or trying different jobs, is valuable because it allows for personal growth and learning without the fear of losing much.
What does Sara mean by 'right' and 'wrong' types of failures?
-Sara differentiates between 'right' and 'wrong' types of failures. 'Right' failures are those where one has control and learns from the experience, while 'wrong' failures are those where one relies on others without control, leading to helplessness and stress.
Can you explain an example of a 'right' type of failure that Sara shared?
-An example of a 'right' type of failure Sara shared was her experience with 'Blanco,' a creative studio space she opened with a friend. Despite the stress and challenges, she learned valuable lessons and had control over the project.
What is an example of a 'wrong' type of failure according to Sara?
-A 'wrong' type of failure, as per Sara, is when one invests their hopes and dreams into another person's idea without having control over the outcome, leading to feelings of helplessness if things go wrong.
What health issues did Sara experience due to stress?
-Sara experienced a range of health issues due to stress, including acid reflux, heartburn, and chest pain that led her to believe she might be having a heart attack, which was later diagnosed as stress-related.
How did Sara's pregnancy affect her professional life?
-Sara's pregnancy forced her to say 'no' to many professional commitments as she experienced severe morning sickness and had to prioritize her health and that of her baby.
What advice does Sara give about not making oneself sick due to stress?
-Sara advises to guard one's mental health, avoid taking on too many commitments that lead to stress, and to be intentional about one's work and life to prevent making oneself sick.
What does Sara suggest about the concept of 'having it all'?
-Sara suggests that while one can't have everything, they can have a lot by being intentional with their time and efforts, focusing on what truly matters, and not spreading oneself too thin.
How does Sara define being 'intentionally' during one's 20s?
-Sara defines being 'intentionally' as making conscious choices, taking calculated risks, focusing on personal growth, and putting in the hard work necessary to achieve one's goals.
Outlines
🎉 Embracing the Chaos of the 20s and Life Advice
In this paragraph, the speaker reflects on entering their 20s feeling confused and stressed, but ultimately recognizing the excitement and opportunities that the decade brought. As they turn 30, they express gratitude for the journey and share four pieces of advice for those in their 20s. The speaker encourages taking risks, being intentional, and embracing the unique challenges and adventures of this life stage. They also mention their own channel, where they discuss tech, creativity, and life, and introduce themselves as Sara, whose name rhymes with 'peachy'.
🚀 The Power of Taking Calculated Risks in Your 20s
The speaker emphasizes the importance of taking calculated risks during one's 20s, a time when they believe individuals have less to lose and more time to experiment. They recount their own experiences, such as dropping out of college and starting a creative studio space called Blanco, which, despite being stressful, was a valuable learning experience. The speaker advises against playing it safe and instead encourages pursuing passions and trying new things, even if they might seem risky or unconventional.
⚠️ Distinguishing Between Right and Wrong Types of Failures
Here, the speaker discusses the concept of right and wrong types of failures. They share personal anecdotes, such as the failure of their creative studio, which they consider a 'right' kind of failure because they had control and learned from the experience. In contrast, they warn against the 'wrong' kind of failure, where one invests too much hope in others without maintaining control, leading to feelings of helplessness. The speaker stresses the importance of having ownership over one's projects and decisions to ensure personal growth and satisfaction.
🤰 Overcoming Stress and Prioritizing Health
In this paragraph, the speaker shares a deeply personal story about the physical and mental toll of stress, which culminated in a health scare that led them to the emergency room. They recount their struggles with anxiety and stress, which were exacerbated by the pressures of work and life changes. The speaker's pregnancy and the challenges that followed, including the premature birth of their child, forced them to reassess their priorities and make significant lifestyle changes to protect their health and well-being.
💪 Intentional Living and the Trade-offs of Success
The speaker reflects on the sacrifices made during their 20s to achieve success, such as forgoing social activities to focus on building skills and pursuing their passion for creating content. They acknowledge the loneliness and challenges that came with this path but express gratitude for the intentional choices that have led to their current position. The speaker also discusses the importance of hard work and persistence, as well as the realization that while one cannot have everything, they can have a lot by being deliberate and focused on their goals.
🌟 Reflecting on Growth and Looking Forward to the Future
In the final paragraph, the speaker shares a heartfelt message of hope and motivation for their audience, particularly younger generations. They encourage viewers to embrace the journey of their 20s, with all its confusion and stress, as a time of growth and self-discovery. The speaker expresses gratitude for their own experiences and looks forward to the future with optimism, reminding viewers that resilience and self-reflection are key to navigating life's challenges and achieving personal fulfillment.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Uncertainty
💡Intentional
💡Calculated Risks
💡Failure
💡Control
💡Stress
💡Burnout
💡Intentionality
💡Sacrifice
💡Resilience
💡Reflection
Highlights
Embracing the chaos and intentionality of the 20s as a time for experimentation and calculated risks.
The importance of taking advantage of having little to lose in your 20s to pursue opportunities fearlessly.
The contrast between the right and wrong types of failures, emphasizing control and ownership over one's endeavors.
Learning from failures in creative projects and businesses by maintaining control and learning from the experience.
The pitfalls of wrong types of failures, such as relying on others without control, leading to feelings of helplessness.
The personal story of opening a creative studio, 'Blanco', and the lessons learned from managing it.
The stress and health issues that can arise from overworking and not setting boundaries in professional life.
The realization of the impact of stress on physical health and the importance of work-life balance.
The transformative experience of becoming a mother and the reevaluation of priorities and work commitments.
The advice on not making oneself sick from stress and anxiety, and the importance of self-care.
The personal journey of dealing with a high-stress job and the decision to prioritize health over work.
The idea that you can't have it all, but you can have a lot, by being intentional with your time and efforts.
The value of hard work and relentlessness in achieving goals and the importance of showing up consistently.
The sacrifices made in the 20s for future success, such as time alone building skills instead of socializing.
Reflecting on the past decade and feeling thankful for the lessons learned and the personal growth achieved.
The encouragement for younger generations to embrace their 20s as a time for self-discovery and intentional living.
The motivational message to stay true to oneself, to be proud of the journey, and to look forward to the future with optimism.
Transcripts
I entered my
20s kind of confused a little bit
stressed out and everything just felt
extremely
uncertain and in hindsight I think
that's the excitement of your 20s I find
myself on the other side I am turning 30
tomorrow I'm turning 30 the day that
you're seeing this and now I can look
back on the past decade of my life and
just be thankful if you've been
following things you know I've been
through a lot this past year
um but with that it's just being on the
other side of it is just that much more
sweet and that's kind of how I feel
about the last decade of my life my 20s
they were chaotic but they were
intentional so I want to take some time
on my birthday to share four pieces of
advice for you the intended audience is
for people in their 20s so if you have
kids in their 20s if you have siblings
or friends in their 20s that are just
starting this crazy adventure of
adulthood please send this video to them
uh but hey if you're not in your 20s I
think maybe you can you can get
something from this if you're new around
here my name is sarahi rhymes with
peachy I make videos about tech
creativity and life and today we're
talking about life okay number one your
20s are so so special okay this is the
time for experimentation for travel if
you can do it for sluming it for Taking
Chances to honestly be Fearless this is
not the time for playing it safe and if
you're looking around and you're seeing
other people people on Instagram or
influencers or just your friends having
so much more than you maybe they have
more money
more looks I don't know hey this is
actually a very special time when you
have nothing because you have time on
your hand and you can take risks now
that I am going to be the Elder age of
30 I really think through things now I
have things to lose now when I was 2021
thinking about dropping out of college
yes it seemed like the end of the world
but it was literally just me against the
world I really had nothing to lose and
that is such a sweet time in your life
and this is the time to do crazy stuff
and when I say crazy stuff I don't mean
you know go out and party every night
and get you know you can get lit as much
as you want but something really special
happens when you take calculated risk
when you say hm College will always be
here I can always go back to college but
hey what would happen if I work that job
that I kind of hate but I saved away
some money and then I just took a year
off to maybe take that trip and expand
your horizons to maybe start that
business because I think when you get
older and maybe you're starting a family
or maybe you have uh just more
responsibilities you are going to be so
much less likely to do that but the key
here is is not going to be easy to go
against the grain you know everyone is
going $50,000 into debt into college I'm
going to feel left out if I don't do
that it is going to be harder than you
think when you have the pressure of your
parents the pressure of society but I
promise you all of that responsible
stuff is always going to be there you
can always go back to it this is the
time to carp a DM you feel okay number
two that I want to talk about the right
and the wrong types of failures so
people are like oh my God failure is
great because you always learn yes that
can be true but through experience
through trying so many things I have
learned there are actually right and
wrong types of failures okay I've had a
lot of people waste my time I stuck
around for the hope of something that
the other person could deliver for me no
no no no listen you can only count on
yourself to really move the needle in
your life of course doing life with
others you're going to have to do that
because not only does building something
exciting require other people but at the
same time it's fun to do things with
other people you just need to make sure
that you are Spirit heading that because
no one is going to work for the thing
that you want as hard as you will you
know okay so here's a few examples let's
enter the realm of starting new creative
projects or businesses failures in that
in that uh realm I'm going to start with
the right kind of failures that I've
experienced and I've learned from and I
don't mind that they were maybe
traditionally uh failures and that they
didn't make as much money as I thought
or they weren't as sustainable and
everlasting okay so number one one was
Blanco this was the studio that I opened
up in Texas with a friend it was a
creative Studio space we built a really
big white psych wall and it was it was
honestly a really fun little adventure
to do not only could I use it but of
course we rented it out to other people
it was so incredibly stressful you are
managing so many different customers and
things always go wrong and people abuse
your equipment but setting up that
project I was in charge you know I
created the bank accounts I made the
website I organized the the lighting
gear and everything and my partner he
did all of the physical stuff so he
built the psych wall and he was more of
the boots on the ground guy but I had
access to the bank accounts because I
set them up I had logins to the email I
had direct communication with all of the
customers if I wanted and we did that
for a couple years and yeah we made a
little bit of money but for the amount
of work and kind of headache that it was
it didn't make sense to keep that open
but it was
my decision my decision with the
business partner that I had right we
were in control that is the right kind
of failure the wrong kind of failure is
when you don't have control you put all
of your hopes and dreams into another
person and often times they're coming to
you and they say Hey you have this thing
that I want you have an audience you
have this you have that I have the
perfect idea for you and it sounds great
right and it sounds kind of sexy and
you're like oh wait you're going to do
all the work that sounds great yes sign
me up no sometimes it works if you find
someone very trusting but that is the
wrong path to go down because when
things don't work when things go wrong
you are not in control that feeling of
helplessness is so incredibly stressful
it's good to have control when something
doesn't work out but it's even better to
have control when something does work
cuz then you're off to the races and
then it's you hiring the people to help
you do that and you have full control
and it's just extreme ownership is good
so just keep that in mind as you're
starting things in your 20s it is the
time to have fun and just start a lot of
little projects do your side hustles do
your side Hobbies but make sure it's you
with the ideas other people aren't
dragging you along and just being able
to stay centered have that extreme
ownership and really do what you want to
do cuz once you start getting attention
or little bit of success in something
that's when the entire world is going to
start bothering you and it's not
productive if they're going to pay you
sure entertain that but most of it is
Noise Okay number three stop making
yourself sick I'm going to read you a
note that was last updated last year and
I had been struggling with a ton of
stuff ever since Co you know it's not
original to say Co stressed me out you
know I think it messed up a lot of
people but it started to get me think oh
I have something wrong with me
physically right like check out these
bullet points that I have from all the
go Googling than I did cuz I just felt
so so bad for those 2 to three years
acid reflx heartburn Google
anti-inflammatory diet histamines and
food galston parentheses ultrasound
don't know what that means ovarian cyst
question mark MRI ulcer from stress my
body hates bread and really leafy stuff
like kale okay can't do hard liquor face
goes numb limbs gets
tingly I was guys I was a mess Co was
not kind to me oxalates question mark
maybe
almonds a little over a year ago when we
moved from Texas to La something that I
never shared I was stressed I was just
doing so much branded content and it was
with brands that how do I say this
because they were so like fortune 500y
and buttoned up every email legal is CCD
on it just to make sure that every
single word that you say is correct
right they were just so intense and
honestly kind of mean like I felt
bullied into doing uh this content that
I did sometimes you say yes to something
that seems oh pretty straightforward and
then when you're in it it's just the
worst okay and I was so stressed out of
course we had just moved and there was
other stuff going on in my life too and
it had just boiled up to just too much
and I was on my way driving to meet a
friend for lunch and I literally had to
pull over because of this intense chest
pain that I was having and I was like
what is going on I was like I like
couldn't breathe it just felt like there
was an elephant on top of my chest and I
went to the lunch and I barely survived
it I just I couldn't breathe I just God
the heaviness from my chest did not
leave and I decided to go to the ER
after it cuz I was like did I just have
a heart attack like what just happened
was this you know and I didn't have
health insurance yet cuz we had just
moved and so I spent $5,000 in a day in
the ER for a doctor to come up to me
after all the EKGs and all of that stuff
that they did for him to tell me hey
maybe you should work
less hey you're probably just stressed
out we see this a lot the test didn't
show anything just you
know don't be as stressed out as you are
and that was kind of the point where I
was like oof this needs to stop this
whatever I'm doing it's not working and
it doesn't matter that oh I'm a YouTuber
I've kind of always had the mindset of a
freelancer because really as a YouTuber
you're just a glorified
freelancer I still had that scarcity
mindset oh if I say no to things how can
I say no to this money I remember what
it was like to like not have these
Brands knocking at my door and so I just
continue to pile on the stress builds
and then I find myself on the side of a
really busy road clutching my chest
thinking I'm having a heart attack that
next month I found out I was
pregnant that was the one thing that
could actually make me say no to things
in one part because I was ready I was so
excited for that chapter of my life but
two I got way more sick than I thought I
was I was throwing up like three times a
day couldn't even leave the house so I
was also physically forced to say no to
things and it took me about 4ish months
to wind everything down literally to
where no one was emailing me no one was
expecting anything from me even though I
was throwing up all the time and
physically I was sick from the pregnancy
I woke up every day and there was no
weight on my chest the elephant on my
chest was gone fast forward a few months
if you know my story I had our baby girl
3 months early 3 months premature the
staff infection the sepsis the
appendectomy giving birth to a breach
baby no medication baby girl and the ncu
for 2 months the pumping micis the pick
line in my arm for a month I know for a
fact that the
birth of my firstborn child will hands
down
be the most physically challenging thing
I've ever gone through and also probably
the most emotionally charged dramatic
thing I've ever gone through in my life
hands down I thought I was over this
part of
it now that I'm on the other side of it
man every day is just like
awesome um but yeah if it weren't for
the people in my life that I had and if
it weren't for a lot of
therapy I mean this could have broken me
you know
but instead I
think it built me I mean it made me much
more
resilient and much more certain on what
I want in life and much more thankful
but I say all that for how hard that was
I would have anxious thoughts about me
about my daughter but I wouldn't be in
that constant state of anxiety and it is
insane to say that something so real
like that was not as bad mentally as
years and years of essentially doing a
job that I didn't want to
do stop making yourself
sick that came from me all of the stress
all of the
anxiety
of doing a job that I'm good at and that
I like and that I love I pursued this
video thing because I don't see myself
doing anything else than making videos
and sharing thoughts online I just for
some reason it just feels like something
I have to do I can't not do it but I
turned it into this thing by just saying
yes to too many things to putting my
sanity in the hands of like eight
clients a month that is crazy I did that
they did not do that I did that I was
completely in control of that because
the moment I said said no to
everything there's no elephant on my
chest there was no heartburn yes I'm
very anxiety prone and my brain is very
ADHD and there were things that I had to
be really intentional about and take the
time to work on and I'm still working
through them with a therapist shout out
to my therapist who's been with me for
over a year and helping me tremendously
but I was making myself sick I think if
you can just guard your
mind in this next decade of life that
you're going to live in your 20s it's
going to be worth it cuz you can get
through it with less emotional baggage
and you won't find yourself at 29 and 30
incredibly stressed out no one goes
unscathed you're going to have to be
somewhat self-reflective at the end of
your 20s no matter what you do but I
think this is just the one piece of
advice that I'm sharing in this video
that I wish I had known basically you
are in control and that in a way is is
scarier than thinking that other people
are in control because then it's all on
you so yeah be careful of inertia be
careful of just going with the flow cuz
that's how things have been what's
another yes here what's another yes
there it's just what I've been doing
it's what this person expects of me and
it's what this person wants of me so I
have to do it I just have to keep going
no don't let other people dictate your
happiness your anxieties and your
schedule I don't do that
anymore I don't stop making yourself
sick okay number four let's end on maybe
a more positive note I think that
steered a little bit more towards like
regret territory but that's not at all
how I'm feeling as I'm entering my 30s
I'm just
happy you
know and so that's that's the place that
I'm coming from when I say number four
you can't have it all but you can have a
lot you can have a lot and a lot of that
starts with your 20s a lot of that
starts with being insanely intentional
with this time that you have not to just
do the things that I started out talking
about taking those calculated risks
taking those big steps right but with
that comes putting down your head and
actually putting in the work and this is
where I'll go a little 2016 Gary ve on
you anything worth having in this life
is usually some degree of hard work and
being just so relentless this past
decade and keeping my head down and just
showing up and doing the work has now
led me to where I am now to be able guys
I wasn't supposed to cry in this video
I'm telling you you get pregnant you
have a baby and then you're just crying
all the time doing that work as now led
me to the place where I am now to be 29
and just being able to snuggle my baby
anytime that I want yes I'm still
working and I thought I was actually
going to take way more dedicated time
just completely off but I had found that
when I said no to everything and I gave
myself that time to just stop and not
let my life be run by other people I got
that hunger again you know I'm always
going to have that hunger to make stuff
and and share it with you guys and it
came back way quicker than I thought and
so I'm just being
way more intentional with the actual
work side of this right and I'm leaving
room and if my baby isn't falling asleep
in her crib and I need to snuggle her
for hours and hours and hours I have
time to do that I have the space to do
that and I know that not everyone is
lucky enough to have that I'm just I'm
thankful for it I love it so much but I
will say it was so intentional I know on
this channel it's been more focused Tech
and like my creative life but I have
always been so excited to be a mom in
this chapter of my life that I had
always said you know I'm going to make
as much money as I can so that when this
time comes I can chill if I want to and
that's where just being so intentional
comes in you know you can have a lot
can't have everything but you can have a
lot what were some of the things that I
sacrificed I wasn't cool for a lot of my
life okay I wasn't hanging out with
people I was going home and like playing
guitar and like learning logic and Pro
Tools and then that evolved into Final
Cut and Premiere you know I was a dork
most of my life and I kind of stayed in
my Lane in my little corner I was alone
a lot doing my thing building my skills
and sometimes that did get lonely it did
and it sucked sometimes you know I've
had seasons of really good friendship
but I am not the Super extroverted
person who just has a ton of friends so
I would say that is probably the thing
that I sacrificed I wasn't drinking I
wasn't partying I wasn't doing what I
think a lot of people think their 20s
are four I didn't have everything but
now I'm able to look back I'm just
feeling very
thankful I haven't been
perfect I have made a lot of mistakes
but that's what life is you
know and I guess there is something to
like turning a decade where you you just
you get to be self-reflective right um I
was kind of forced into it but I'm sure
many 29 going on 30-year-olds kind of
have maybe felt similar ways to me I
think Millennial burnout on top of just
Co and everything that happened I think
a lot of us went through very similar
things and I'm just feeling thankful to
be on the other side of that in this
past year and yeah so if you're a genin
z or even a Jin Alpha out there who's
watching this video I hope you got
something from it I'm so excited for you
this next decade is going to be
confusing and stressful at times but
it's going to be fun and you just do you
there's so much on the internet
right now you put those blinders on
put the blinders on you do you baby you
know proud of you you made it this far
you're going to make it to the other
side so much stronger so much wiser and
yeah I don't know you're just going to
make it cuz sometimes that's all you can
do and that's an accomplishment on its
own I didn't know that I was going to be
so freaking sentimental in this video
but I'm feeling motivated and I hope you
do too we will be back to the regularly
scheduled programming next week
subscribe if you're new around here let
me know if you like this video and yeah
stay peachy okay bye
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