I found out I have ADHD.
Summary
TLDRThe video script narrates the personal journey of the creator, who struggled with organization, focus, and time management, only to later discover they had ADHD. Initially excelling in school, the creator's life took a turn post-college, leading to a downward spiral of productivity. The diagnosis of ADHD and the subsequent use of medication brought clarity and a newfound ability to function normally, illustrating the transformative power of understanding and addressing neurodevelopmental disorders.
Takeaways
- 😔 The speaker struggled with focus, memory, and organization, which worsened after leaving the structured environment of their parents' home and school.
- 🎓 Despite being a high-achieving student, the speaker's life took a turn when they moved to college and later dropped out to pursue a career in content creation on YouTube.
- 🤔 The speaker initially dismissed their difficulties as laziness or lack of interest, not considering a potential neurodevelopmental disorder like ADHD.
- 🧍♂️ The speaker's brother's ADHD diagnosis sparked a realization that their own struggles might be related to a similar condition.
- 🤯 After years of denial and struggle, the speaker finally decided to seek a professional diagnosis, which confirmed their suspicion of having ADHD.
- 📊 The diagnosis included a detailed report explaining the speaker's symptoms and how their brain functions, which helped them understand their condition better.
- 🧠 ADHD affects people differently, with the speaker having the inattentive type, characterized by difficulty focusing, low attention span, and disorganization.
- 👩⚕️ The psychologist provided hypotheses for why the speaker's ADHD symptoms became apparent later in life, including the influence of their mother's organizational support and the possibility of ADHD affecting women differently.
- 💊 The speaker tried medication for the first time, experiencing a significant improvement in focus and productivity, which was both surprising and transformative.
- 🛠 The diagnosis and understanding of ADHD have allowed the speaker to develop strategies for managing their condition and improving their daily life.
- 🎉 The speaker encourages others who might be experiencing similar struggles to seek a professional diagnosis, as it can provide clarity and a path forward.
Q & A
What was the speaker's initial perception of themselves as a student?
-The speaker initially perceived themselves as a well-organized, punctual, and high-achieving student with good grades, despite finding it hard to focus during studying.
Why did the speaker decide to take a gap year?
-The speaker decided to take a gap year to explore the potential of their YouTube channel, which was gaining traction at the time.
What challenges did the speaker face after moving out of their parents' house and attending college?
-The speaker began to struggle with motivation, skipping classes, and procrastinating on schoolwork, attributing these issues to their newfound freedom and the distraction of their YouTube channel.
How did the speaker's organizational skills and focus change after leaving school?
-The speaker's organizational skills and focus deteriorated significantly, making it difficult for them to manage responsibilities and stay organized.
What was the speaker's initial reaction to their brother's ADHD diagnosis?
-The speaker was surprised by their brother's diagnosis, as he did not exhibit the typical hyperactive symptoms associated with ADHD that they were aware of.
What similarities did the speaker find between their own experiences and their brother's description of ADHD symptoms?
-The speaker found that they shared similar struggles with focus, attention span, and hyperfixation on interests, which made them consider the possibility of having ADHD themselves.
Why did it take the speaker years to consider the possibility of having ADHD?
-It took the speaker years to consider the possibility of having ADHD because they were not immediately inclined to seek a diagnosis and were focused on their struggles with productivity and organization.
What type of ADHD was the speaker diagnosed with?
-The speaker was diagnosed with the inattentive type of ADHD.
How did the speaker's psychologist explain the late onset of their ADHD symptoms?
-The psychologist suggested that the speaker's mother's organizational influence may have masked their symptoms during school, and that ADHD can affect women differently, potentially manifesting later in life.
What impact did the ADHD diagnosis have on the speaker's approach to managing their responsibilities?
-The diagnosis helped the speaker to understand their struggles better, change their mindset, and develop strategies to improve productivity and organization.
What was the speaker's experience with taking medication for ADHD?
-The speaker experienced an immediate reduction in mental noise, improved focus, and enhanced productivity after taking instant-release medication, which they found to be transformative for their ability to complete tasks.
Outlines
🔍 Struggling with Focus and Organization
The narrator reflects on their childhood as a well-organized, high-achieving student and contrasts it with their later struggles with focus, organization, and time management. They recount their college experience, where they began to skip classes and procrastinate, attributing their lack of motivation to a newfound interest in YouTube. The narrator eventually dropped out of college to pursue their passion for content creation but found themselves increasingly disorganized and unable to manage their responsibilities effectively. They express confusion and frustration over their inability to maintain the discipline they once had, and they begin to question whether there might be an underlying issue, such as ADHD, contributing to their difficulties.
🤔 The Realization of ADHD and the Journey to Diagnosis
The narrator describes the moment their brother was diagnosed with ADHD and how it sparked a realization about their own struggles. They recount their brother's symptoms and how they mirrored the narrator's own experiences, leading them to consider the possibility of having ADHD themselves. Despite this, the narrator was hesitant to seek a diagnosis, dismissing their difficulties as laziness or a lack of effort. It took several years and a significant decline in their focus and productivity before they decided to see a psychologist. After a series of appointments and discussions about their symptoms, the narrator was diagnosed with the inattentive type of ADHD and possibly autism, which helped them understand their experiences and struggles better.
💊 Exploring Medication and the Impact of ADHD on Life
The narrator discusses their initial reluctance to consider medication for their ADHD, believing that understanding their condition would be enough to help them manage. However, they decided to try medication to gain a firsthand experience for their content creation. They describe the moment they took their first dose of instant-release Adderall, detailing the immediate and profound effect it had on their ability to focus, remember, and resist distractions. The experience was transformative, allowing them to complete a video script in a fraction of the time it would normally take. The narrator expresses disbelief and amazement at the difference the medication made, and they reflect on the challenge of reconciling their new understanding of their ADHD with their previous self-perception.
🎉 Embracing the Diagnosis and Looking Forward to Improvement
In the final paragraph, the narrator shares their newfound sense of relief and optimism following their ADHD diagnosis. They discuss the immediate and practical benefits of understanding their condition, such as being able to write a script efficiently while on medication. The narrator also talks about the broader implications of their diagnosis, including the potential to rebuild their life and optimize their productivity. They encourage others who may be struggling with similar symptoms to consider seeking a professional diagnosis, emphasizing the positive impact it has had on their life. The narrator concludes by promoting their merchandise and expressing solidarity with others who have ADHD, offering words of encouragement and support.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡ADHD
💡Focus
💡Organization
💡Procrastination
💡Inattentive Type of ADHD
💡Hyperfixation
💡Diagnosis
💡Medication
💡Productivity
💡Self-Understanding
💡Neurotypical
Highlights
The speaker reflects on their struggle with focus, organization, and time management, despite appearing to be a successful student in their youth.
A shift in behavior occurred when the speaker moved out for college, leading to skipping classes and procrastination, which they initially attributed to a lack of interest in their coursework.
The speaker's YouTube channel took off, causing them to prioritize it over their college education, eventually leading to dropping out.
After leaving school, the speaker faced increased difficulty with organization and focus, even when pursuing their passion as a content creator.
A diagnosis of ADHD in the speaker's brother prompted a reconsideration of their own symptoms and the possibility of having the same condition.
The speaker's initial reluctance to seek a diagnosis for ADHD, despite recognizing similarities in their brother's experiences.
A psychologist's diagnosis confirmed the speaker's suspicion of having ADHD, specifically the inattentive type, and also autism.
The speaker discusses the different types of ADHD: hyperactive, inattentive, and combined, explaining the characteristics of each.
The speaker's realization of how their mother's organizational influence may have masked their ADHD symptoms during their school years.
A discussion on how ADHD affects women differently, potentially manifesting later in life and being more easily masked.
The impact of the ADHD diagnosis on the speaker's self-perception and their approach to managing daily tasks and responsibilities.
The speaker's decision to try medication for ADHD, specifically instant release Adderall, to experience its effects firsthand for their content creation.
The immediate positive effects of Adderall on the speaker's focus and productivity, allowing them to complete tasks with ease.
The speaker's newfound appreciation for the ability to focus without distraction and the desire to understand and optimize their brain chemistry.
The speaker's encouragement for others who may be struggling with similar symptoms to seek a professional diagnosis and not to fear the potential outcomes.
A call to action for viewers to support the speaker's content and merchandise, emphasizing the community aspect of their audience.
Transcripts
do you ever think to yourself man why is
it so hard for me to just do the things
I need to do and focus and remember
things and manage my time and be
organized and remember things and not
get
sidetracked ha yeah me neither when I
was a kid I was pretty much the picture
perfect depiction of a good student I
was well organized always turned in my
work on time got good grades I even did
my homework on Fridays instead of
procrastinating until Sunday night sure
I didn't like studying and found it hard
hard to focus during it but who didn't
seeing all those qualities put together
that doesn't sound like the brain of
someone with any kind of attention
deficit hyperactivity disorder does it I
was well behaved didn't feel like I
struggled much in school and didn't
cause any trouble that is up until I
moved out of my parents house for the
first time to go to college gradually I
started slipping I began skipping
classes a bit when I just didn't feel
like going would wait until the last
moment to start class workor and lost a
lot of motivation because I wasn't
interested in any of my school work but
overall even though it was pretty out of
character for me I chocked it all up to
the fact I was simply overo to school at
the same time my YouTube was really
kicking off and all I wanted to do was
that of course I wasn't going to be as
good of a student when the silly YouTube
videos were doing numbers I finished a
single year of college and convinced my
parents to let me take a gap year to see
where this YouTube thing can take me
spoiler alert the Gap year turned into
me never going back I'm a College
Dropout so great I've eliminated the
boring school part of my life that
weighs me down now I can go back to
being organized with my new exciting
passion job which entails being my own
boss and having to manage and assign
myself all of my own responsibilities
24/7 why are the voices not getting
quieter it's almost like everything was
going backwards I was having a much
harder time staying organized and
focused if I didn't want to do a certain
type of work I would have to shackle
myself down in basically an isolation
chamber to be able to get it done if I
found a new interest it was all I could
think about and why is it so easy to
suddenly be on your roof watching a
YouTube video on how to know when you
need new shingles I really didn't get it
child me had it held together more than
current me what went wrong I could look
back and recognize how everything used
to be so perfect and easy look at tiny
Jaden and all her ducks in that row I
used to color code every single binder I
owned and now I don't even know where I
placed the 20 bucks I literally just had
in my hand 3 minutes ago I haven't even
left the room genuinely where could it
fing go despite feeling like I was
downward spiraling for multiple years I
never suspected it could be something
related to a genetic neurodevelopmental
disorder I just thought I wasn't trying
hard enough and being lazy or applying
myself like I used to oh the woes of
turning into an adult I suppose maybe
the best years of your life truly are in
high school how upsetting I didn't even
enjoy those either but then one day I
got a text from my brother I got
diagnosed with
ADHD huh it was a pretty big surprise
for me because growing up he never
really seemed to show any of the typical
symptoms you associate with ADHD you
know people would always describe ADHD
to me as Super Hyper kids who would run
around the room and scream and generally
be a lot that wasn't my brother he was
quiet and well behaved like I was but
when he started explaining his symptoms
the gears started turning yeah I've
always struggled a lot with focusing in
school and having things hold my
attention when it's boring but like I
could hyper fixate on things I'm
interested in and get really passionate
about that stuff hearing him talk about
his personal symptoms of ADHD made a lot
of sense and I felt very freshly
educated on the topic and you'd think
that I would immediately start looking
into getting a diagnosis for myself
because if you were paying attention my
brother's experiences all sounded very
similar to the same struggles I've been
having in my own life but related to
work instead of of school because I
dropped out but nope I was just like
good for you bro happy for you or I'm
sorry I don't know anyway back to
struggling to Simply open up my drawing
program as if two blocks of iron were
welded to my wrists imbalance of brain
chemicals no this just happens from time
to time it's normal just the laziness
kicking in I hate Mondays am I right
even though I didn't instantly think
there is a possibility of me also having
ADHD the mental seed was planted it's
it's genetic so I knew subconsciously it
ran in the bloodline it took a few years
after my brother was diagnosed for me to
really sit down with myself and consider
that I too could have ADHD shocking
Revelation I know foreshadowing where
did you come from things in the focus
and productivity Department were just
getting worse and worse I had the
attention span of a cartoon dog would
completely forget things as soon as they
entered my head would hyperfixate on
random stuff like an addict and there is
const Civil War happening inside my head
to get one thing done even though I knew
it would only take like 15 minutes you
don't understand it feels like physical
torture to make myself sit down and lips
sync a simple scene like most of the
time you know the thing I've been doing
for 10 years at this point and am
definitely used to doing and yeah once
I've gotten going then I'm honed in and
you have to prye me away from it with a
crowbar I'm aware of that part but no
I'm still going to scrap with myself to
plant my ass in that chair because I
don't I don't even know why at this
point the biggest thing holding me back
from feeling like I had ADHD has always
been the simple memory of being in
school and having my together I
know what it feels like to be on top of
things and to be organized I had it all
in the palm of my little child's hand I
just needed to summon it again with a
bit more effort but a light Switched Off
in my brain and suddenly I'm just not
capable of the things I used to be and
it feels pathetic simple tasks are such
a mental burden it feels like I'm out of
control but can't do anything about it
so finally I figured I would try and get
myself diagnosed what did I have to lose
if anything they just tell me no you
don't have ADHD try a little harder and
stop complaining and yes of course it
took me like 8 months after deciding to
get diagnosed to schedule the actual
appointment what did you expect that's
like the first check mark box on the
ADHD list I started seeing a
psychologist and he would ask the
typical do you have a hard time focusing
and I'd go yeah like this one time
yesterday and then he writes something
down as I continue rambling on this
hypers specific example way too long for
a neurotypical person I met with him for
a few weeks and then it came down to
diagnosis day the nerves man I was so
ready for him to say I'm a normal person
who needs to suck it up but instead he
was like okay so yeah you definitely
exhibit symptoms of someone with the
inattentive type of
ADHD and autism yippe my struggles are
Justified I'm not crazy wait wait what
was that last part he explained all the
different ways ADHD affects me and the
different areas I struggle with compared
to others he even gave me a 37 page
document of his conclusions and
information on how my brain works with
graphs and pictures I've read through it
all a bunch of times now and it's it's
already really helped me understand how
I tick I call them the autism Docks but
I'm I'm not going to get into that side
of the diagnosis let's just let's let's
just push that one away for now there's
a couple types of ADHD you can have
hyperactive inattentive and combined
which is both hyperactive and
inattentive hyperactive is the type
people typically go to when they think
of a loud kid who can't sit still people
with this kind normally need to fidget
have low patience tend to talk a lot and
have trouble staying seated especially
when they're EXP Ed to like in a meeting
or school inattentive is the one where
someone experiences difficulty in Focus
memory organization has a low attention
span that's the one I have it's
self-explanatory but if you have the
combined type of ADHD then you got it
all ADHD jackpot right there my friend I
brought up during the appointments that
I used to be such a good kid in school
with seemingly zero ADHD symptoms and
how that part has always confused me and
he had a couple hypotheses about it one
since my mom has always been a big
source of my organizational influence I
was able to depend and lean on her for
the majority of my school life for it I
felt like I was naturally capable of
staying on top of things because she was
right behind me the whole time reminding
me and guiding me through stuff so when
I moved out everything started crumbling
which lines up pretty perfectly to when
I did start struggling another
explanation he gave was the fact that
ADHD affects women differently than men
which is also less researched love to
hear that one not only do women tend to
be able to mask their symptoms better
than guys so it goes much more unnoticed
but they also experience ADHD
differently and research says there's a
chance it can just start affecting women
later in life I'm no ADHD scientist
though that's just what I've been told
by Specialists I don't know I've just
got the dang thing either way those two
explanations make a lot of sense to me
and have since put my weird ADHD
imposter syndrome to rest I didn't
really think that getting a diagnosis
would change much about how I go about
my life but since getting my ADHD
certificate and lollipop it's completely
revolutionized how I think and go about
getting things done it's still hard to
get my ass into gear when I need to do
one normal thing that's not difficult
but I'm much less hard on myself and
will strike almost like these kinds of
mental deals to loophole myself into
getting things done like for example if
I really don't want to edit a video I'll
say to myself okay I know it's going to
be super hard for me to immediately
start that task so I'll get myself into
the mindset of getting things done by
doing a simple other task I don't find
difficult like cleaning my room that way
I'll feel productive and can transition
that into tackling the original task
much easier it doesn't always work but
it's the mindset change and overall
understanding that sometimes I'm going
to have to go about things in different
ways that's helped me a lot also after
being diagnosed with ADHD I didn't have
much desire to get medicated I figured
just knowing I have it would be enough
to get things into gear and I didn't
really need medication that badly but
the content creator and me also thought
well if I'm going to write a script
about having ADHD it would be nice to be
able to talk about what it's like to be
medicated even just for a day so I got
prescribed good old classic instant
release atall instant release means I
don't have to take it every day I can
just take it when I need to get stuff
done it picks me immediately and then
wears off after a few hours there's also
extended release which is the kind you
take every day and gives you a constant
steady stream of medication it wasn't
until I had the Aderall in my hands when
I realized the idea of taking it for the
first time made me nervous like what is
this thing going to do to me I have so
many friends with ADHD honestly a higher
ratio than friends without it that's how
it goes in content creation all these
MFS have it they were all telling me
that it's awesome how you'll take it and
immediately feel like a God and you can
do anything and it's incredible and yeah
that sounds great but also like what the
hell what do you mean I take this little
pill and suddenly all of my problems
seemingly disappear and I gain
superpowers that's scary that sounds
like the thing every adult in a 20m
radius warned us about when we were kids
am I going to feel like a completely
different person I don't know if I'm
ready to experience immortality I put
off taking Aderall for so long because I
was irrationally scared of the tiny blue
pill but
coincidentally I really needed to get a
script done if I take too long to write
a video script then the team runs out of
work to do and then I have a bunch of
people sitting around and waiting for me
to give them more work so they can pay
their bills and survive and stuff but
for the freaking life of me I just could
not get myself to sit down and write
that script my body and soul found it
mentally easier to backflip off a bridge
than write words on the computer after
literally two months of my brain going
ooh you better write that script I won't
let you enjoy a single moment of your
life if you aren't writing that
script I don't want to get up go to the
bridge after that constant loop I
finally swallowed my fears and took my
first Aderall I had talked to James a
lot about what Aderall is like since
he's been on it for a few years now and
after I took one I was messaging him
like I did it I ate an Aderall how long
does it normally take to start how do I
know what do I do and he was helping me
a lot and giving me tips then like 20
minutes
later I felt
it all the non-stop thoughts going on in
my brain went silent I could think
clearly and in like a line my mind
wasn't racing a mile a minute I was able
to sit behind my laptop and right it was
incredible I was messaging all my
friends about it the entire time I can
write my script and not get distracted I
don't have to take a mental break every
10 minutes I can remember things Kelsey
sent me a message and I thought I'll
check that in a bit and I remember to
check in it a bit and respond when I
opened a new tab to look something up I
didn't go down a random unrelated Rabbit
Hole I picked up my phone to check
something and didn't impulsively scroll
Twitter for an hour I can write words so
easily how am I doing this what do you
mean I can feel like this whenever I
want if I just eat the tiny blue pill I
refuse to believe regular people can
function like this on a day-to-day basis
no way it wouldn't be fair you guys
don't have loud non-stop voices in your
heads preventing you from doing normal
things come on just admit it you can't
pick something up and immediately keep
remembering what you were supposed to be
doing with it you always forget and feel
crazy come on come on I was so
suspicious that on Aderall either
nothing would happen and I just wouldn't
feel anything or I would feel like I'm a
totally different person experiencing
some higher than life manic episode but
no I just felt like myself but with my
together and that's the part I
couldn't believe after 2 months of War I
finally was able to plant myself down
and write my damn script you want to
know what script I wrote while
experiencing Aderall for the first
time this one I was struggling to write
a script about ADHD and the thing that
finally pulled it out of me was Aderall
come you got to admit that's funny yeah
it was great I didn't think my head was
loud before or I was that imp impulsive
or had that hard of a time focusing but
now that I've been able to peacefully
sit in one spot for hours and not need
to take a break or check social media or
get distracted by some stupid tangent I
don't actually care about yeah this
changes things I still can't believe
what I was able to accomplish writing a
script in 3 hours compared to my typical
12 hours AKA one mediocre thing with no
struggle at all and you want to know
what I did right after I wrote this
script I immediately got up and cleaned
the bird's room without rotting in bed
for 3 hours beforehand I just went from
one task to another without thinking
about it all you neurotypical people
must be thinking I'm literally pathetic
and useless but I know my ADHD Brethren
are out of their chairs right now
hearing that I'm not standing before you
all to give you scientific data and
information on ADHD or diagnose you or
even promote prescribed drugs I'm just
here to talk about a big and recent
experience in my life how much of an
impact and effect it's had on me and how
awesome feeling normal is seriously
being able to take a deep breath in
mental silence is incredible cherish
that feeling if you don't have a
neurodevelopmental disorder it took me
26 years to realize my woes were not
actually woses but symptoms of brain
chemical deficiency I'm writing this
video All Things Considered pretty
recently after being diagnosed and I'm
still trying to learn how to rebuild my
life in a way that lets me optimize my
productivity and get things done at a
normal level but so far I've come so
much further than I thought I could
simply by knowing what's going on up
there in the old
Noodle and ater all if you're on the
fence about being diagnosed with
something I get it it's scary it's scary
to think you might have it and it's also
scary to think you might not have it
it's an odd place to be but for me
having a concrete answer from a
professional is what got me to find
finally stop feeling stuck in place and
actually start moving forward again it's
been great I'm excited to keep learning
more things about how my mind works and
find new ways to improve my day-to-day
life cheers to getting normal done
in case you missed it I have new merch
for a limited time you can get yourself
a new and improved Ahi plush and a
completely new soft Ari jacket I love
both of these products and up until June
23rd they could be all yours if you miss
it you'll never know how fluffy and
pillowy the jacket is oh it's like a
cloud or how cuddly and friend shaped
the plush is plus it's a great way to
support both me and the team while we
continue to make animations for you
check them out at Jaden animations.com
thanks for watching the video and good
luck simply existing to all my ADHD
Brethren out there I'm right there with
you I believe one day you'll respond to
that message in your inbox hang in there
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