Threesomes: Everything You Need To Know!
Summary
TLDRIn this episode of the Open Love 101 podcast, hosts John and Jackie delve into the topic of threesomes, sharing their personal experiences and offering guidance on how to navigate the conversation with a partner. They discuss the importance of open communication, setting the stage for such an experience, and ensuring mutual comfort and consent. The hosts emphasize the value of patience, support, and the ability to communicate openly about desires and boundaries to create a positive and empowering experience for all involved.
Takeaways
- 😀 Communication is key: The couple emphasizes the importance of discussing the idea of a threesome openly and honestly from the beginning of their relationship.
- 🏡 Starting from an open platform: The couple's relationship was built on an open platform, which facilitated early and easy discussions about threesomes.
- 🤔 Exploring individually: They initially explored the concept of threesomes separately, which helped them understand their comfort levels without the pressure of their partner's presence.
- 💬 Sharing experiences: After each experience, they communicated about what happened, discussing feelings, likes, and dislikes, which helped in building trust and understanding.
- 🚀 Overcoming hesitation: The script highlights the struggle of setting up the first threesome and the importance of patience and support from the partner.
- 🌟 Embracing authenticity: The experience allowed the individuals to be authentic and celebrate their true selves, which was a transformative moment in their relationship.
- 👫 Respecting each other's comfort: It's crucial to respect each other's comfort levels and be supportive if one partner feels uncomfortable during the experience.
- 🤝 Planning together: The couple stresses the importance of planning the threesome together and agreeing on the details to ensure everyone is on the same page.
- 🔄 Learning from experiences: Whether the experience is positive or negative, it's essential to learn from it and discuss how to improve future encounters.
- 👀 Signaling for support: Establishing a signal with your partner can be helpful in indicating if you need support or want to stop something during the threesome.
Q & A
What is the main topic of the podcast by John and Jackie?
-The main topic of the podcast is discussing threesomes and how to ensure all partners have an amazing experience.
How did John and Jackie approach the subject of threesomes in their relationship?
-John and Jackie approached the subject of threesomes by having open discussions from the beginning of their relationship, which was formed on an open platform.
What was Jackie's initial experience with threesomes?
-Jackie's initial experience with threesomes was playing separately in different states, which allowed her to explore the concept without the pressure of John being in the room.
How did John support Jackie in her journey to explore threesomes?
-John supported Jackie by being an advocate, encouraging her to try it out and being patient with her hesitations and fears.
What was the importance of communication in John and Jackie's experience with threesomes?
-Communication was crucial as it allowed them to share experiences, discuss feelings, and ensure that both partners were comfortable and supportive of each other's desires and boundaries.
How did Jackie overcome her initial hesitations about having a threesome with John present?
-Jackie overcame her hesitations by deciding to take ownership of her desires, pushing past her fears, and realizing the comfort and support John provided during the experience.
What was the impact of the threesome experience on John and Jackie's relationship?
-The threesome experience brought them closer, deepening their trust, love, and support for each other, and allowing them to see new aspects of their relationship.
What advice do John and Jackie give for couples considering a threesome?
-They advise couples to have open conversations, be patient with each other, set up the experience together, and discuss it constructively afterwards to learn and improve.
How did John and Jackie handle less successful threesome experiences?
-They handled less successful experiences by discussing what went wrong, learning from it, and using that knowledge to improve future experiences.
What is the importance of having a safe signal or word in a threesome situation?
-A safe signal or word is important for communicating discomfort or the desire to stop an activity, ensuring that all parties feel secure and respected.
How can couples ensure a positive experience for all involved in a threesome?
-Couples can ensure a positive experience by being open and honest about their desires and boundaries, communicating effectively, and supporting each other's feelings throughout the experience.
Outlines
💬 Open Communication in Relationships: Discussing Threesomes
The first paragraph introduces the podcast hosts, John and Jackie from openlove101.com, and their topic of discussion: ensuring a positive experience for all parties involved in a threesome. They share their personal experiences of starting their relationship with an open platform, which facilitated early and open conversations about threesomes. The hosts emphasize the importance of communication, discussing past experiences, and setting the stage for such an encounter. They also touch on the challenges of approaching a partner about the idea of a threesome and the need for patience and understanding in these conversations.
🌟 Embracing Authenticity and Overcoming Fears in Threesomes
In the second paragraph, the hosts delve deeper into the psychological aspects of exploring threesomes. They discuss societal norms and personal fears that may prevent individuals from expressing their desires openly. The conversation highlights the importance of authenticity and the freedom to explore one's sexuality without judgment. The hosts share their journey of setting up their first threesome, emphasizing the need for patience and support from their partner. They also discuss the transformative experience of overcoming hesitation and embracing the opportunity to explore new aspects of their relationship.
🚀 Taking the Leap: The Decision to Experience a Threesome
The third paragraph focuses on the decision-making process and the actual experience of having a threesome. The hosts share their personal story of finding the right person, setting up the encounter, and the emotions that came with it. They discuss the importance of owning one's desires and taking responsibility for the experience. The paragraph also highlights the supportive role of their partner in making the experience a positive one, leading to a sense of empowerment and self-affirmation.
🤝 Post-Experience Reflection and the Strength of Partnership
In the fourth paragraph, the hosts reflect on the aftermath of their threesome experience. They emphasize the importance of open communication after the event, discussing feelings, likes, and dislikes to learn and improve for future experiences. The paragraph also touches on the emotional growth and deepening of their relationship as a result of the experience, highlighting the support and love they felt from each other. The hosts stress the importance of respecting each other's comfort levels and having a safe space to express any discomfort or change of mind during the experience.
🔄 Learning from Experience: Enhancing Future Threesomes
The fifth and final paragraph wraps up the discussion by emphasizing the learning aspect of each threesome experience. The hosts encourage listeners to share their tips and experiences, and they invite them to subscribe to their email list for updates on future programs and events. They conclude by expressing hope that the insights shared will help listeners have a better understanding and potentially improve their own experiences, whether it's their first threesome or an enhancement of a past one.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Threesome
💡Open Relationship
💡Communication
💡Authenticity
💡Vulnerability
💡Sexual Experience
💡Monogamous Relationship
💡Patience
💡Empathy
💡Boundaries
💡Support
Highlights
Introduction to the podcast by John and Jackie from openlove101.com focusing on threesomes.
Discussion on how to initiate the conversation about having a threesome in a relationship.
The importance of starting the relationship with an open platform for discussing threesomes.
The benefits of playing separately initially in an open relationship.
The role of communication in developing a shared understanding of sexual experiences.
The impact of past relationship experiences on discussing sexual fantasies.
The concept of feeling free to explore sexual desires within a supportive relationship.
The challenge of setting up the first threesome and the patience required.
The emotional journey and transformation experienced during the first threesome.
The value of post-threesome discussions to refine future experiences.
The importance of respecting each other's comfort levels during a threesome.
The role of patience and support in overcoming initial hesitations about threesomes.
The potential for empowerment and self-discovery through engaging in threesomes.
The necessity of being authentic and owning one's desires in a relationship.
The importance of setting boundaries and having a safe word during a threesome.
The learning curve associated with having threesomes and the importance of communication.
The potential for threesomes to deepen the bond and understanding between partners.
Encouragement for listeners to share their own experiences and tips on having threesomes.
Invitation to subscribe to openlove101.com for updates on future programs and events.
Transcripts
if you listen to this podcast towards
the end you'll hear all about Jackie's
first threesome and it's amazing
hey everybody it's John and Jackie of
openlove101.com Welcome to our show we
have a great one today we love talking
about threesomes and we know that you
like hearing about it so we're going to
talk today about how to make sure your
partner has an amazing threesome yeah
and uh I think we should start off with
though how do you even get to that point
uh where's the conversation how do you
bring up a threesome have you guys
talked about doing anything in the past
um are you just are you in a monogamous
relationship and all of a sudden you
decide out of the blue in your mind
let's have a threesome how are you going
to approach that someone with your
partner right
any thoughts on that well I can only
speak from experience so our experiences
we started our relationship from an open
platform from the beginning so having
discussions about threesomes
was so early on in our relationship that
um
it it was actually a part of the
formation of our relationship because it
it was just all at the same time you
know
um and it really was easier for us to
play separately in the beginning yeah
because we were separate in the
different states we were in different
states and me conceptually I had an
easier time
trying that out without the without the
added pressure of you being in the room
I mean I needed to see if it was even a
concept I was okay with on my own yeah
being with somebody else
um and I think again because that was at
the beginning of our relationship
there wasn't
um
there wasn't the investment in the
relationship like it would have been
maybe if we decided to open up the
relationship five or ten years into it
um you know that would have been a
completely different conversation
and it was also what you did for a
living I mean you had swinger clubs so
there was
there was like a sense of safety in it
because it's what you did you had a lot
of experience in it you were really
supportive of me in that journey and so
because it was new to me it was really
great to have this advocate for me
pushing me to do it and try it yeah and
that Advocate was you which was also my
partner so at the very beginning it was
super surreal but it was it was fun and
you know when we when I say we played
separately
we did play in different rooms in
different cities different states
different houses whatever it was but we
always shared about that experience with
our partner afterwards right and that
really helped us develop a communication
and talking about
fool around with other people well and I
guess that would be step one our ability
to discuss it yes like what are we going
to do what does that look like how is
that
first get together going to be
um how do we reassure each other yeah
yeah and it was a conversation about
have you ever thought about doing this
you know tell me about your past sexual
experiences and you know there was a
time in some relationships I had where I
did not want to discuss
my past sexual experiences with with a
new partner because of my experience
with that above doing that and it not
working out very well oh backfiring yes
like they would want to know I would
tell them and then they would say you
know they would
yeah yes yeah so at some point I decided
no more of that yeah but in our
relationship it was different we were
really open and discussed those things
from the very very start our past
relationships with other people right
the relationship in itself but also the
sex you know that that transpired in
that relationship and and it's
interesting that you would say that
because in my past relationships well
specifically the one prior to you and I
connecting
the the person was very jealous and so
to be with you and you were almost not
the opposite but you were like pushing
me to be out there and authentic and try
some things and kind of live and
experience life like you came at me from
such a different angle
I almost didn't know what to do with it
it was almost like I had this sense of
Freedom that I had never had before and
um you know so being able to to try
something
like that I didn't have that the
Hang-Ups about it because you were so
positive about it so it allowed me to be
positive about it and you know it's I
hadn't really thought about this before
I don't ever really talked about this
but
I believe
that anybody you ask out there most
people
have thought about at one time or
another like oh I'd like to make out
with that guy or that girl but they
can't say it because the relationship
that they're in
they would be in fear of how their
partner would react if they said that
you know they would know their partner
would react in a negative way right but
if we all feel that way if that's just a
natural if that's the Natural Way human
beings are
and that that's why I did that's why I
would encourage that it was because I
was trying to
you know push you into doing something
right I just wanted you to know that
if these are natural feelings you're
having or thoughts or desires
with me you can feel free to do that
and I'm gonna love you anyway it's not
gonna make me pull away right because I
want you to be able to be yourself and
you see what brought that up in my mind
I was used to to be your authentic self
and I think authentically I don't I
think if people deny it they're not
being completely honest like if I think
they hang out with their friends they
may admit the truth in that right but
they're not able to act on it because
it's against our societal Norms right
now right now it's changing
but that's where that came from it
really is about just do what you want to
do just be yourself you know and I don't
know that I have been in a relationship
where I felt that open to saying that
either where I felt there was so much
trust already early on in our
relationship
I did not I didn't feel threatened like
you want to go out with your girlfriends
and hang out and go dancing I mean you
didn't do that but if you wanted to I'd
have been oh cool yeah
that's true
yeah so so step one was bringing it up
in conversation yes you know kind of
setting the stage for that now you and I
set the stage from that from the very
beginning because I think there was a
sense of freedom because of what you do
and we could just kind of talk about
that and we could talk about fantasies
and it could come across like have you
ever had a threesome with uh two girls
and a guy or have you had a threesome
with two guys and a girl whatever it is
you know ask your partner that question
right like what's your craziest sexual
experience that you've ever had is there
something you've ever wanted to try yes
you know any of those kinds of things to
kind of open up the topic and and these
should just these should just be topics
that you can discuss
from a vulnerable transparent space you
know it's not like you said with your
with your past relationships where they
would want to hear about your past but
as soon as you would tell them they
would use it against you or they would
immediately compare themselves to
whatever over your past experiences were
so we're not talking about that we're
talking about you know bringing this
topic up
um and then
once you've discussed it and maybe
you've decided yeah maybe we want to
take this from like a fantasy topic to
something maybe more real then what do
we do and I know for us
it was so weird because I didn't have a
problem going on a date with somebody
else when you were out of town
but when we went to actually set up the
threesome date
that took me so long yeah and I think
it's because you were going to be in the
room and somehow
that that pressured me
I don't know why but it made me a little
more nervous so it was
it took us a little longer to actually
set that date up and the reason I bring
this point up and why I believe it's
important to bring up is you were
completely patient with me every time
you would be like okay so there's this
person and you know I've said oh yeah I
think that would be a great person and
we go to set up the thing and I would
back out and you would we just wouldn't
pursue it and then we'd wait a little
bit and we'd try it again and we tried
again and finally one night I was just
like gosh darn it let's just do this I'm
gonna just try this I'm gonna quit
letting my hesitancy or my fear or
whatever it was get in the way we're
just gonna do this and you're ready now
if you had gotten upset with me the
first time I did that
and been like you know you said you were
gonna do this or whatever you know we
probably wouldn't be here talking
wouldn't have open love and all this
kind of stuff so I mean it's really
vital that we respect each other from
that standpoint it is
and you know I think your exact words
were
well I can't see your exact words but
it's like screw it I'm just gonna do it
and whatever the consequences are
whatever happens happens yeah you know
if you get mad at me you get mad at me
and I'm like oh baby I'm not gonna get
mad at you well if you do I'm just gonna
accept it I just want to do it so yeah
I'm gonna do it for me and that was you
know that's another hurdle sometimes we
have to get past you know and we talk
about
the importance of doing things because
you want to do them if you're trying to
do things to please your partner it's
never going to work I don't care how
much you think it's going to whatever it
is that you're doing you have to own it
well you can try and please your partner
you can try to please you yes you can
try to please your partner but if that's
the whole goal of what you're doing it's
like I'm doing this because my part this
will make my partner happy you miss that
critical part of what happiness
um for yourself is missing yeah you know
and so for me in that moment it became
this is something I want to do
I've always been curious about it I've
got to quit thinking so much about
John or you know whatever's going on
with me if this is something I want to
do I need to just own it and do it and
take responsibility for the aftermath of
it you know it got to the point where I
I wanted to be able to say I did it and
I loved it or hated it or gosh I wish I
had tried that in my life you know that
was kind of those two choices I got to
and so you were really helpful in that
you
found someone and we talked about it and
we decided that that would be a good
choice and we contacted him and he was
good to go you know so it was it was
definitely a group effort you know
there's all three people working
together to make this happen
and we were all confident and kind and
generous
um in that setting and so it ended up
being just a really great evening
um for all of us I think yeah it's a
great memory yeah yeah and then you know
after I mean there was throughout it
there was it's a new thing and so your
partner
may not know what to do exactly so you
have to kind of work together and yeah
uh if you if you've done one before your
partner hasn't you can kind of Coach
through it if either one of you've ever
had an experience like that maybe the
person you're with has and it's just
about conversation and and not
not being worried about doing something
wrong so to speak you just just you know
it's just uh just like your first time
with someone you may not know exactly
what to do but you just kind of go with
the flow and just it turns out to be
what it is
and it turned to be a great experience
and then after the fact in the car we
Jack and I spoke about it for quite a
while we talked about the feelings we
had and the things we liked about it
maybe the things we didn't like about
that particular experience and then you
can
mold the next one to make it you know
more along the lines of what you both
enjoy together right
we'll also realize
it gave me an opportunity to see what it
was like for the three of us you know
because I had kind of built up in my
mind that this was this was going to be
a lot of pressure on me having you there
because you were my you were my
boyfriend at the time you know and you
were going to be watching me as my
boyfriend
playing with someone else in my brain
almost didn't know like how to even
filter that yeah and so to give myself
permission to experience that and then I
realized how much comfort it was to have
you there how supportive you were
how much I relied on you being there and
how I could reach out and you would
touch my hand or you were you know like
it is
it's almost hard for me even 11 years on
to articulate
like the transformation that took place
in our relationship from that point
forward I mean we got in the car and I
was just giddy almost with a lot of
different emotions like you were so
supportive and that was something that I
feel like had always been missing in my
other relationships you know I got to be
who I was and you loved me for it it was
just like I got to be celebrated in my
authenticity and that was
that was just
like wow
and I think a lot of women could feel
could potentially feel some shame
about doing something like that because
of how they were raised right and
you know that might have been part of
the fear that kept you from doing it as
well absolutely but in the end I
remember in that car in your feeling was
one of empowerment yeah like you like I
you know yeah I did this and I owned it
and I'm I feel good about myself for
doing it and that was a that was a
really cool
emotion that you were feeling for me to
see you kind of blossom into this
independent woman where you knew that
you could just be whoever you wanted to
be right well in in the car ride home we
both had the freedom to talk about the
evening and what we thought and you you
know you weren't threatened by The
Interchange I wasn't
you know I wasn't going through any
negative feelings about it you know we
just got to just kind of embrace it and
and learn from it and I got to see
another side of our relationship that I
didn't really know existed you know
there's just even more support I felt
even more love from you and I felt more
love towards you as well you know when
we're accepted
holy you get to kind of exhale right
you're just like ah there's a comfort in
it so I don't know I think for
threesomes there's there's those few
steps you know there's the conversation
there's the patience with your partner
then there's the setting it up together
and and agreeing together and then
following through on that you know
whatever that plan is and then the end
is being able to discuss it and be
constructive with it and what have we
learned what could we do better what do
we want to do different what do we not
want to do you know maybe we didn't like
the experience at all and so we want to
do something different and that's okay
too
and that's something we haven't didn't
really touch upon because we had such a
great experience that that initials
person was really well essentially
perfect yeah but we've had some
experiences that haven't been right and
you know you could as a couple get into
a situation with your with a threesome
or with a couple as well where
you're not
feeling it or somebody is feeling
uncomfortable about something or what if
what if you change your mind in the
middle of it right you know in in a case
like that it's really
you have to remember you're going into
these things as a couple as partners
yeah
and if one person is feeling a the shame
that we talked about earlier or
uncomfortability
the other partner needs to be supportive
in that no matter what that is I don't
care
you know if if you had been in the
middle of it
with him and I started feeling
jealous or anger or some kind of fear or
I just want to run away I just want to
leave the room and good people might
anything like that right
I know you would have been supportive of
me in the way I was feeling right and
that's important no matter how much fun
you're having
if your partner is feeling uncomfortable
feelings we have to really be supportive
in that in rather than
you know why don't you just go out in
the hallway and feel that way and I'll
we'll talk about it later
gosh I can't imagine
yeah no and that's well and here's the
here's the other
in all of those experiences like you
said sometimes they're going to be
stellar and sometimes they're going to
be less than Stellar but it doesn't have
to those less than Stellar threesomes
don't have to
keep us from
trying continuing well we're learning
from it yeah we can learn from it and
and and help ourselves and the other
thing that may happen too is there may
be something going on with the person
that you don't know right
and it's important to talk about the
scenarios before you go into it so what
if
yeah
what if the guy wants to do something I
don't want to do it
well and you you did do that you're like
you know I'm here I'm here to help you
if you need anything from me and like I
knew that you were my safe space if if
something had happened that I wanted to
to stop I knew that I had that safety
insecurity to do that that's important
and it's also important because some
women men too
may be afraid to say no to the person
it's a new person I don't want to hurt
their feelings I don't want to say no I
don't like that
so you may need some kind of a signal
for your partner right like you know
Jackie could give me an eye or like
shake her head a little bit or reach
over and squeeze your arms yes and then
I'm like uh yeah she doesn't really like
that maybe try doing this instead you
know you can even coach the person that
you're just that you're getting with for
the first time and that can help the The
Experience maybe flow a little better as
opposed to being traumatic right right
yeah and the more you do it the more
comfortable you'll get and the more
self-assured you'll become you know it's
just like with anything new that you're
trying there's a learning curve to it
yes
um
but they're great yes and uh you know we
hope you guys enjoy your first threesome
and have you already had some maybe you
learned something from this to help your
next experience be even that much better
yeah and share your share your own tips
yes here on the you know in the feed
leave it in the comments please do
absolutely and also you know subscribe
to our email list at openlove101.com and
we'll send you updates on when this
other programs like this might air like
how to have an orgy that one could be
coming up soon yes
and uh other things like maybe Jackie
will decide to write an article here
soon and you'll be notified about that
and events that we have going on so
thank you guys for joining us today see
ya
great job Jackie and if you like that
video please click the button below
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give you plenty of more plenty of more
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