The $50,000 beer: why very attractive women aren't on dating apps
Summary
TLDRIn this episode, Dr. Orion terban delves into the economics of dating, explaining why successful men may opt for escorts over traditional dating. He argues that the time, money, and emotional investment required in conventional relationships often yield uncertain returns, making the straightforward transaction of escort services a more cost-effective alternative. This perspective challenges societal norms and prompts a reevaluation of dating dynamics, suggesting that scarcity versus abundance mentality significantly influences personal choices in the dating market.
Takeaways
- 💰 The script discusses the high costs of traditional dating for successful men, comparing it to the perceived value of a '50,000 dollar beer'.
- 📉 It suggests that as a man's success increases, so does the financial and time investment in dating, which can be economically inefficient.
- 🚶♀️ The speaker argues that women who 'take it slow' in dating are not appealing to successful men due to the high opportunity cost involved.
- 🤔 The script implies that women who have specific rules about dating and sex may be overvaluing their time and attention in the dating market.
- 💸 It provides a hypothetical example where the cost of dating can escalate to an unrealistic amount if a woman insists on a certain number of dates before becoming intimate.
- 🚫 The speaker advises against 'playing hard to get' when a high-value man shows interest, as it could lead to missed opportunities.
- 💔 The script highlights the frustration successful men may feel in traditional dating due to the lack of guarantee for a satisfying outcome.
- 💼 It contrasts the idea of hiring escorts as a more cost-effective solution for successful men, solving many of the issues they face in conventional dating.
- 💲 The average cost of hiring a sex worker is presented as significantly lower than the potential costs of traditional dating, especially for high earners.
- 🔄 The concept of 'abundance mentality' is introduced, suggesting that successful individuals should delegate tasks to free up their time for more lucrative activities.
- 🤝 The script concludes that successful men may prefer the straightforwardness and efficiency of hiring escorts over the uncertainties and costs of traditional dating.
Q & A
What is the main topic of Dr. Orion terban's talk?
-The main topic of Dr. Orion terban's talk is the economic perspective on why successful men may choose to use escorts, referring to it as the '50,000 dollar beer' scenario.
What does the term '50,000 dollar beer' imply in the context of the talk?
-The term '50,000 dollar beer' implies the high opportunity cost of engaging in a casual date, especially for individuals with high value or success, where the cost of the date is far greater than the actual expense.
What is the relationship between a man's success and the expenses associated with dating?
-According to the talk, the expenses associated with dating increase with a man's success, making traditional dating prohibitively expensive due to the time, attention, and financial investment required without a guarantee of a sexual encounter or mutual interest.
Why does Dr. Orion terban suggest that women should be sexually generous with men they are interested in?
-Dr. Orion terban suggests that women should be sexually generous because expecting time, attention, emotion, and provision without providing sex in return is a one-sided and expensive proposition in the dating game.
What does Dr. Orion terban argue about the dating strategies of older women?
-Dr. Orion terban argues that the dating strategy of taking things slow is less effective for older women compared to younger women, as it can make the relationship more expensive and less attractive to successful men.
What is the economic reality that successful men face when dating according to the script?
-The economic reality is that successful men have to spend a significant amount of time, energy, and money on dating, often without a guarantee of a sexual encounter or mutual interest, which makes traditional dating a less attractive option for them.
Why does Dr. Orion terban believe that successful men are not likely to date women who make them wait for sex?
-Dr. Orion terban believes that successful men are not likely to date such women because it represents an expensive investment of time and money with no guarantee of a satisfactory outcome, which is not a rational use of their resources.
What is the scarcity mentality and how does it differ from the abundance mentality?
-The scarcity mentality focuses on counting dollars spent and saved by doing tasks oneself, while the abundance mentality focuses on counting hours spent and the money saved by delegating tasks to others, aiming to free up time to earn more.
How does the script suggest that hiring an escort can be more cost-effective for successful men?
-The script suggests that hiring an escort can be more cost-effective because it solves the problems of time investment, rejection, and uncertainty associated with traditional dating, and provides a guaranteed sexual encounter at a relatively lower cost compared to the potential expenses of dating.
What is the difference between the dating experiences of average men and successful men according to the script?
-The script suggests that average men might not mind the expenses and efforts of traditional dating, while successful men find it less appealing due to the high opportunity cost and the abundance of other options that provide a greater return on their investment of time and money.
Why does the script mention that very attractive women are less likely to be found on dating apps?
-The script mentions that very attractive women, like successful men, do not date conventionally because they have too many high-value options and invitations, making traditional dating too expensive in terms of opportunity cost.
What is the conclusion of the talk regarding the dating habits of successful men?
-The conclusion is that successful men may prefer using escorts over traditional dating due to the cost-effectiveness, convenience, and the guaranteed satisfaction that this option provides, which aligns with their abundance mentality.
Outlines
💸 The Economics of Dating for Successful Men
Dr. Orion terban discusses the financial implications of dating for successful men, highlighting how traditional dating can become cost-prohibitive. He emphasizes that the cost of dating is further increased when women choose to 'take it slow.' He uses the example of a woman in her 50s who has been single for a long time, insisting on not having sex before marriage, and a 41-year-old woman who believes her previous quick intimacy led to her current single status. Dr. terban argues that women should be more sexually generous and that making men wait for sex is an expensive and one-sided proposition in the dating market. He illustrates this with a hypothetical scenario where a woman's 'rule' of not sleeping with a man until the third date could cost a man $155,600 for a single sexual encounter, emphasizing the economic unattractiveness of such dating strategies for successful men.
💔 The Absence of High-Value Women on Dating Apps
In this section, Dr. terban explores why exceptionally attractive women, likened to 'nines and tens,' are rarely found on dating apps. He suggests that these women, much like successful men, avoid conventional dating due to its high costs. He paints a picture of a world-class beauty receiving numerous high-value offers daily, making the idea of a casual date with an average person economically unappealing. Dr. terban uses the metaphor of a '$50,000 beer' to illustrate the opportunity cost of a world-class beauty choosing a low-key date over a luxurious invitation. He also touches on the different outcomes for men and women in such scenarios, noting that while an average man might not stand a chance with a high-profile woman, an average woman could potentially attract a successful man through direct communication, emphasizing the importance of seizing opportunities in such encounters.
💼 The Rationality of Escorts for Successful Men
Dr. Orion terban explains why hiring escorts can be a more cost-effective and problem-solving option for successful men compared to traditional dating. He provides statistics on the average rates for sex workers in the United States and contrasts the cost of an hour with a high-priced call girl to the time a corporate lawyer would charge. Dr. terban argues that even at a high price, hiring an escort is a bargain for successful men due to the time saved and the guaranteed outcome. He delves into the concept of scarcity versus abundance mentality, using a personal anecdote to illustrate the difference in perspectives when it comes to spending money to save time. He concludes that successful men view hiring escorts as a form of delegation that frees up their time for more lucrative activities, ultimately increasing their earning potential.
🔄 The Inverted Dynamics of Escorts vs. Traditional Dating
In the final paragraph, Dr. terban discusses the benefits that escorts provide to successful men beyond cost-effectiveness. He outlines the various issues that escorts solve, such as avoiding the time-consuming process of dating, including swiping, texting, planning dates, and dealing with uncertainty. Escorts offer a guaranteed sexual encounter, convenience, and the ability for the man to choose based on his preferences. Dr. terban points out that this dynamic is reversed from traditional dating, where men often have to settle for what is available rather than what they truly desire. He also touches on the societal implications of men's expenses in romantic relationships and suggests that hiring escorts can be a more equitable exchange for men, leading to a more satisfying outcome with less investment.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Prohibitively Expensive
💡Success
💡Structured Women
💡Scarcity Mentality
💡Abundance Mentality
💡Delegation
💡Economic Realities
💡Resource Redistribution
💡Fair Deal
💡Guaranteed Sexual Encounter
💡Convenience
Highlights
The concept of '50,000 dollar beer' is introduced as a metaphor for the high cost of dating successful men.
Traditional dating becomes more expensive as a man's success increases.
Dating strategies involving taking things slow are less effective with age.
Anecdotes of women's dating rules and their impact on successful men's interest.
Expecting time, attention, and provision without sex in return is a one-sided proposition.
The economic perspective of dating where women with strict dating rules are deemed 'too expensive'.
The comparison of the cost of a sexual encounter through dating versus hiring an escort.
Successful men are less likely to date women who make them 'jump through hoops'.
Attractive women are less likely to be found on dating apps due to the high value of their time.
The scarcity vs. abundance mentality and its impact on decision-making in dating.
Successful men view hiring escorts as a cost-effective solution to dating.
The average rate for an hour with a sex worker compared to a corporate lawyer's time.
The abundance mentality allows successful men to save time and resources by delegating to professionals.
The argument that successful men spend a significant amount of resources on pursuing sexual encounters.
Hiring an escort eliminates the need for traditional dating activities and guarantees satisfaction.
The attractiveness of escorts compared to average dating app profiles.
The convenience and control successful men have when hiring an escort.
The economic argument that successful men and attractive women avoid traditional dating due to its high cost.
The conclusion that successful men hire escorts for a more cost-effective and satisfactory experience.
Transcripts
I'm Dr Orion terban and this is psycha
Better Living Through psychology and the
topic of today's short talk is the
50,000 dollar
beer this is part two in my three-part
series on why successful men use escorts
so be sure to check out part one before
proceeding in the first episode I
discuss how traditional dating becomes
prohibitively expensive as a function of
a man's success however that discussion
was still from an ideal perspective all
the expenses associated with dating are
exacerbated when the woman in question
wants to take it slow women the success
of this dating strategy is inversely
proportional to your
age the younger you are the slower you
can take it however this is not a
strategy that works for older women I
spoke with a woman in her early 50s
recently who had two kids by two
previous marriages and who told me that
she wasn't willing to have sex before
marriage with any man she is currently
dating you can't make this up as may be
unsurprising she has been single for
quite some time I spoke with another
woman recently she was 41 who was
looking to get married and start a
family she told me that she blamed her
inability to have secure this
relationship already on the fact that in
the past she jumped into bed with men
too quickly I ass assured her this was
not the problem women should be very
sexually generous with the men they're
hoping to catch the problem was not what
she was doing the problem was who she
was doing it with as I've said before
women do the right things with the wrong
men but rather than examine her tendency
of targeting the wrong men she decided
to shoot herself in the foot by making a
relationship with her even more
expensive than it otherwise would have
been by making men wait longer for sex
now she wouldn't sleep with a man until
at least the third date what women need
to understand is that expecting time and
attention and emotion and
provision without providing sex in
return is an extremely one-sided and
expensive proposition in the dating game
it's the gendered equivalent of a man
inviting you over for sex and then
kicking you out when he's finished it's
one side getting what it wants at the
expense of the
other more structured women like these
two have rules about how the dating
process needs to proceed before they
participate in the sexual dimension of
the relationship in most cases these
women are not worth dating they're just
too expensive and if they're too
expensive for the average guy they are
absolutely exorbitant for the successful
one think about it if a woman won't
sleep with a man until the third date as
a rule then at $5,200 a date that
amounts to
$155,600 for a sexual encounter if the
encounter actually occurs after all
there's no guarantee that the woman
won't change her mind or feel there
isn't sufficient chemistry at any point
in the process and I would like women to
consider that 15 grand is an inordinate
amount of money to spend to get to know
you like would you give up $15,000 to go
on three dates with a man especially if
the dates didn't actually involve the
thing you might most be looking for I
don't think you
would and that's why these successful
men aren't going to date structured
women or are very quickly going to be
looking for the door if these women try
to make them jump through hoops they're
not talking xic players as much as they
are not looking to throw five figures of
money away on an unsatisfying
interaction their decision has less to
do with their personalities and more to
do with the economic realities under
which they are operating women if you
make men wait you will end up with the
men with time on their
hands think about it what kind of man is
going to wait around to see if a given
woman thinks he's good enough to sleep
with with I'll help you out it ain't
going to be the attractive men with lots
of options who already know their worth
if you are fortunate enough to find
yourself on a date with one of these
individuals and you are receiving the
undivided attention of a high value man
who is showing you sexual interest it is
not the time to play hard to get you
have been given an opportunity that may
never come again you need to act fast
and you need to give them the rich
creamiest milk you possibly
can let's look at this from another
angle shall we why aren't there female
nines and tens on dating apps I hear men
complain all the time about the apparent
attractiveness of the women they
encounter on apps but my brothers in
Christ of course you're not going to
find super beautiful women on dating
apps these women like the super
successful men don't date conventionally
and they don't date conventionally for
the exact same reason it's far too
expensive imagine you're a worldclass
beauty you're getting DMD hundreds or
thousands of times a day some Saudi
Prince is inviting you out to a
sevenstar resort in Dubai an NFL player
wants to give you tickets to his next
game in a private box on the 50 yard
line some Rising movie star wants you to
join him on location in Tahiti what are
the chances in the midst of all these
options and invitations that you're
going to spend Saturday night having a
beer in a local dive bar with a random
nobody the odds that you would do that
are absolutely non-existent and they're
not existent not because you're just a
shallow and materialistic gold digger
but because that beer just became
extraordinarily expensive from the
nobody's perspective the beer only cost
cost 10 bucks but from your perspective
the world class Beauty it cost an all
expense paid vacation to the Burge Dubai
to her that is a
$50,000 beer and guess what no [ __ ]
beer is worth
$50,000 when you are a world-class
Beauty it's too expensive to date
conventionally the same is true when you
are a very successful man but here's the
difference
a decently attractive man could never
ever engage a world-class Beauty dudes
just try dming a smoke Show with two
million Instagram followers you will
never ever get a response Beyond her
auto reply however a decently attractive
woman could engage a very successful man
she can just slide into his DMS and make
herself
available this doesn't always work
obviously but it absolutely has a
nonzero chance of succeeding if you find
yourself on a date with one of these men
do not waste the opportunity it's kind
of like finding yourself alone in an
elevator with Elon Musk you have 30
seconds to cultivate interest or you
probably blew it forever fortune favors
the prepared wait for your moment and
pounce when it appears so let's recap
the more successful a man is the more
expensive traditional dating comes these
men have to spend time and energy
finding women cultivating interest
planning dates covering expenses
stimulating arousal and most significant
of all waiting what's more all this
occurs without any reasonable guarantee
of a sexual encounter or even mutual
interest most dates are first dates this
means that all other things being equal
the most likely outcome is the man
having paid a sizable amount of money to
feel frustrated and disappointed Ed at
the end of the night in the context of
limited free time and emotional
bandwidth these probabilities become
even more unattractive most likely he
will eventually come to the decision
that he would rather use that time and
energy earning more money or improving
his Fitness or playing video games or
literally any other activity that
reasonably promises a greater return on
his investment of time like the
beautiful woman he will conclude that no
beer is worth
$50,000 now before I go any further if
you're liking what you're hearing please
consider sending this episode to someone
who might benefit from its message
because it's Word of Mouth referrals
like this that really help to make the
channel grow you can also hit the thanks
button and tip me in proportion to the
value you feel you've derived from this
episode I'm proud to announce that my
book the value of others is now
available for pre-sale on Amazon it'll
be released in just a few days so take
action now to get your hands on it as
soon as possible I'm also writing
original content for my free newsletter
every week so if you'd like to sign up
you can do so on my website finally
please fill out an inquiry form on my
website if you're interested in booking
a paid consultation the links to
everything I just discussed is in the
description below so please check them
out all right let's get back to
it provided we can move past our
reactive judgment we're now well
positioned to understand why successful
men use escorts not only is hiring
escorts less expensive than dating
traditionally but doing so solves nearly
every problem that a successful man
Encounters in the modern dating pool and
regardless of who you are man or woman
young or old gay or straight an option
that solves more of your problems for
fewer resources will always be
preferable to an option that solves few
of your problems for
more apparently the average rate for an
hour of sex with a female sex worker in
the United States is
$250 citation below to put that in
perspective that hour of sex is
comparable to 11 and A2 minutes of that
corporate lawyer's time at $1,300 an
hour however this is just an average
rate for sex in major cities a
high-priced call girl will cost around
$1,000 an hour now to an average guy
this is a lot of money most men do not
have $1,000 to spend on an hour of
pleasure they think this call girl is
expensive however to a successful man
this is a bargain not only is he still
coming out ahead in the head-to-head
comparison on the value of their
respective time he only has to work 45
minutes to purchase 60 Minutes of her
time but relative to the tradition
dating model previously discussed he may
have potentially saved $115,000 worth of
time for $1,000 worth of cash from a
certain perspective he's stealing from
himself by not using
escorts this thinking highlights the
differences between scarcity and
abundance mentality so let me pause here
to explain this further when I first
moved to San Francisco I lived in a
shared house with a Craigslist roommate
and we would get into some disagreements
about cleaning the house the woman I was
living with wasn't doing so well she
wasn't thriving in life and she didn't
have a lot of money on the other hand my
test prep business was Catching Fire and
I was using almost every hour I could
spare to provide lessons to my students
as a consequence I wanted to hire
someone to clean the common areas of the
house if cleaning the house required two
hours a month I would rather pay someone
200 bucks to allow me the opportunity to
earn 500 bucks it was too expensive for
me not to delegate as I would be
functionally stealing $300 for myself to
do the same job less well my roommate on
the other hand did not have $200 to
spend she thought she was saving $200 by
cleaning the house herself and here's
the thing we were both right within our
respective perspectives and economic
realities each of us was making the
rational choice now if you don't have
200 bucks to spend you don't have 200
bucks to spend but the issue is that
scarcity mentality can keep people
trapped in scarcity longer than they
need to be at a certain point an
individual's time always becomes more
valuable than his or her money this is
true of everyone though it will occur at
different rates depending on the value
of the individual's time in the
commercial Marketplace people with
scarcity mentality count the dollars
they spend and track the dollars they
save by doing it themselves on the other
hand people with abundance mentality
count the hours they spend and track the
dollars they save by delegating to
others and this of course is a virtuous
cycle the more you delegate the more you
free up time to earn even more to
delegate even further that's how you
take your time back and increase your
earning
potential a successful man uses escorts
is effectively delegating his time to a
professional rather than doing it
himself and he saves a considerable
amount of resources by doing so most
women do not understand how much time
energy and money men spend trying to get
laid even in their relationships if we
liberated that time we would increase
the GDP by billions of dollars overnight
For Better or Worse getting and
maintaining women is one of the single
greatest expenses incurred by men on
this planet and romantic relationships
are one of the largest resource
redistribution schemes the world has
ever seen for men it's almost always
cheaper to be single and for women it's
almost always cheaper to be in a
relationship that said I found that most
men actually aren't that mythed about
paying probably because they've never
even considered there might be another
option
they just want a fair deal the issue is
that deal becomes less Fair as the man
becomes more successful and this is less
the consequence of the woman's
entitlement as some men might argue and
more a consequence of the man's
success so not only is hiring an escort
even a high-priced one significantly
less expensive to successful men than
dating an average girl the escort solves
a bunch of other problems that are
subject to arising in Tradition dating
this man does not have to spend time
swiping or approaching women and he does
not have to deal with the rejection and
frustration that inevitably attend those
activities he does not have to spend
hours or days texting back and forth to
generate interest he doesn't have to
plan a date and make the woman feel
heard and make the woman feel safe and
make the woman feel aroused he doesn't
have to wait days or weeks for the woman
in question to make herself available
and is absolutely guaranteed of a sexual
encounter if he so desires one what's
more and this might rub folks the wrong
way but that high-priced escort is
probably more attractive than the
average woman on a dating app at the
very least a man who hires an escort
generally selects the one who is most
attractive to him from among the
available options this is a very
uncommon experience for men the fact of
the matter is that it's much easier for
women to get what they want want at
least sexually why because most men will
have sex with most women but most women
will not have sex with most men this
means that women can kind of get what
they want sexually while men typically
have to settle for what wants
them but that Dynamic is reversed when a
man uses a prostitute in this situation
the man ends up with the best he can get
as opposed to the best who will have him
the experience is also delivered to him
at his con venience when he wants it
where he wants it how he wants it and he
can terminate the relationship at his
pleasure at any time with no
consequences in almost every possible
way when a successful man hires an
escort he gets more of what he wants and
less of what he doesn't far more cheaply
relative to dating on the open market
successful men don't date for the same
reason very attractive women don't they
both have to pay much more for much less
just keeping it real with you what do
you think does this fit with your own
experience let me know in the comments
below as always I appreciate your
support and thank you for listening
Посмотреть больше похожих видео
Why successful men use escorts: what the rich and the beautiful have in common
Dating after 50: challenges and opportunities
Why dating advice is terrible: half right is all wrong
The secret of a successful relationship: get your needs met elsewhere
This Is Why So Many Women Are Single
MEN with CHARM and Charisma can SLEEP with WOMEN but NEVER keep them in relationships (Casey Zander)
5.0 / 5 (0 votes)