How society fools the poor with "work/life balance"
Summary
TLDRIn this engaging podcast segment, the speaker reflects on building multiple successful companies with his wife, emphasizing the importance of aligning work and personal life. He discusses the misconception of work-life balance, advocating for the integration of passion into work. The speaker shares experiences that highlight the joy of working and the challenges of maintaining a relationship while being deeply involved in business. He also touches on the dynamics of marriage and entrepreneurship, suggesting that shared goals and mutual respect are key to a harmonious partnership.
Takeaways
- 💼 The speaker and his wife have successfully built six multi-million dollar companies in the past five years, with their current portfolio generating about 85 million a year.
- 🎙️ The speaker was recently interviewed on a two-hour long podcast, discussing the balance between work, life, and marriage while building companies together.
- 🔄 The speaker rejects the idea of 'work-life balance' in the traditional sense, opting instead for optimizing life around what he and his wife enjoy, which includes working.
- 🎂 An anecdote about the speaker choosing to work on his birthday instead of celebrating, highlighting his preference for work over leisure.
- 🏆 The speaker emphasizes the importance of working to create options, not to avoid work, and that the freedom to choose when to work is a form of liberation.
- 📉 A period in 2021 when the speaker did not work led to a miserable year, as he struggled to find fulfillment in spending the money he had made.
- 🛠️ The speaker finds joy in building infrastructure and hiring teams for his business, Acquisition.com, after realizing the importance of staying engaged in work.
- 🤝 The speaker believes that successful relationships, especially in business partnerships, require a shared understanding and respect that comes from being in the 'battlefield' together.
- 👫 The speaker discusses the challenges of maintaining a relationship while being deeply involved in business, suggesting that compromise is not necessarily a part of a successful marriage.
- 🏠 The speaker and his wife have found a balance by creating space in their work and personal lives, ensuring they don't become too familiar with each other to the point of losing excitement.
- 🔄 The speaker suggests that the happiest couples are those who have parallel careers with shared goals and values, respecting each other's individual paths.
Q & A
How many companies have the speaker and his wife built in the last five years?
-The speaker and his wife have built six multi-eight-figure companies in the last five years.
What is the annual revenue of their current portfolio?
-Their current portfolio does about 85 million dollars a year.
What is the name of the platform the speaker runs?
-The speaker runs a platform called acquisition.com.
What was the main topic of the podcast segment the speaker wants to share?
-The main topic of the podcast segment was the experience of building companies together while being married and balancing work life and marriage.
What does the speaker believe about the concept of work-life balance?
-The speaker believes that people should optimize for the things they enjoy doing, and if they enjoy working more, they should work more, rather than adhering to a traditional work-life balance.
How did the speaker feel about the year 2021 when he did nothing but own companies and generate cash flow?
-The speaker felt that 2021 was a very miserable year because he tried to spend the money he was making but found it impossible, leading him to question the purpose of his work.
What was the speaker's realization about work after his experience in 2021?
-The speaker realized that he works to create options, not to avoid work. He enjoys working and seeks the freedom to choose to work when he wants.
What is the speaker's view on the common dynamics in relationships, especially in the context of entrepreneurship?
-The speaker believes that there are two dynamics that work in relationships over an extended period of time: being in it together and the cheerleader and quarterback dynamic. However, he emphasizes the importance of shared respect and understanding that comes from working together.
How does the speaker approach the potential issue of becoming too familiar with his spouse due to working together?
-The speaker and his spouse create more space in their relationship by working on separate sides of the house and not attending the same meetings, allowing them to share their day's experiences with each other during dinner.
What does the speaker suggest as a potential downside of couples working together in business?
-The speaker suggests that couples working together can become too familiar with each other, potentially leading to a sibling-like relationship instead of a romantic partnership.
How does the speaker define the difference between the 'we're in it together' and 'cheerleader and quarterback' dynamics in relationships?
-In the 'we're in it together' dynamic, both partners work towards shared goals and understand each other's experiences. In the 'cheerleader and quarterback' dynamic, one partner supports the other's efforts without necessarily sharing the same work experiences, requiring a very aligned mission and goals.
Outlines
👫 Work-Life Balance and Marriage Dynamics
The speaker discusses his experience building multiple successful companies with his wife over the past five years, emphasizing the importance of aligning work and personal life. He challenges the traditional notion of work-life balance, arguing that one should optimize for what they enjoy, whether that means working more or less. He shares anecdotes about his preference for working on his birthday and during vacations, highlighting his passion for work. The speaker also touches on the freedom that comes with the choice to work and the joy he found in re-engaging with his business after a period of perceived idleness. He concludes by addressing the unique challenges of balancing a business partnership with a marriage, suggesting that compromise is not always necessary and that shared experiences and mutual respect are key to a successful relationship.
🔄 The Struggle with Work Schedules and Relationship Dynamics
In this paragraph, the speaker delves deeper into the complexities of maintaining a work schedule that aligns with one's personal and professional needs. He describes an attempt to adhere to a strict work schedule that ended at 5 p.m. but found it unsatisfactory due to the constraints it placed on his productivity. The speaker advocates for the freedom to work according to one's natural rhythms and the importance of not compromising one's identity in the pursuit of balance. He also explores different relationship dynamics, such as the 'we're in it together' approach and the 'cheerleader and quarterback' model, discussing their respective merits and challenges. The speaker emphasizes the value of shared respect and understanding in a relationship, especially when both partners are deeply involved in the same business venture. He concludes by reflecting on the need to manage the dichotomy of familiarity and space in relationships, particularly for entrepreneurial couples, to avoid becoming too familiar and losing the excitement that comes with the early stages of a relationship.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Multi-eight-figure companies
💡Work-life balance
💡Acquisition.com
💡Podcast segment
💡Marriage
💡Freedom
💡Optimization
💡Compromise
💡Stimulus
💡Entrepreneurship
💡Familiarity
Highlights
The speaker and his wife have built six multi-eight-figure companies in the last five years.
Their current portfolio generates about 85 million dollars a year.
They run Acquisition.com, a platform for business growth and acquisition strategies.
The speaker discusses the balance between work life and marriage while building companies together.
He emphasizes the importance of optimizing for enjoyment in work and life.
The speaker prefers working on his birthday over celebrating, highlighting his passion for work.
He shares a personal story of feeling miserable during a year of inactivity and wealth accumulation.
The speaker believes in working to create options, not to avoid work.
He argues against the common definition of 'work' and the idea of working to never work again.
The speaker's wife initially preferred a traditional work-life balance, creating initial compromises.
The couple found a balance by working on separate projects and maintaining space in their relationship.
The speaker discusses the importance of shared respect in a relationship, especially for entrepreneurs.
He believes that successful relationships involve partners who understand the challenges of entrepreneurship.
The speaker shares insights on relationship dynamics, such as the 'cheerleader and quarterback' model.
He emphasizes the need for alignment in mission and goals within a relationship for it to be successful.
The speaker talks about the challenges of maintaining excitement and avoiding becoming 'siblings' in a relationship.
He suggests that couples with separate careers tend to be the happiest on average.
The speaker concludes by stating that he does not believe in compromising in a relationship if it's not desired.
Transcripts
my wife and i have built six
multi-eight-figure companies in the last
five years our current portfolio does
about 85 million a year we run
acquisition.com and i was interviewed
recently for a segment on a two-hour
long podcast and the segment that i want
to show you is a really cool clip that
we just talked about what it was like to
literally build these companies together
being married and the balance between
work life and marriage all right so um
like i said enjoy and i'll see you guys
on the other side i mean a lot of people
used to get on me about like you need
more work-life balance like blah blah
blah and it's just like i just like you
have one life and they are your terms
and no one else's terms and we optimize
typically for the things that we enjoy
doing and like if you have more stimulus
from working than you do from not
working then like work and then if you
feel like at some point you have traded
off something that you don't want to
trade off for then you can adjust that's
what i've always felt i enjoy working
like what was it my mom so
we have like a wedding to go to on
the day after my birthday yeah so we
were talking about you know we have to
fly up on my birthday she's like oh we
could do this on your birthday this is
like no i just want to work she's like
no but it's your birthday you shouldn't
have to work and i was like i want to
work yeah that's all i want to do i just
want to work even uh santa monica my
birthday i was like the only thing i
want to do today is work that was it
just wanted to work i mean everybody
wants to they're like man do something
do
do something you love and you'll never
work another day in your life but like
it's just because everyone has this
really poor definition of work but like
if if you have accomplished that which
obviously you have you're just living
yeah and like what you do in life so
i'll i'll rewind something really
quickly which is like 2021 i did nothing
i owned all the companies pounded out a
lot of cash flow and i did nothing and
it was a very miserable year for me
because i
tried to spend the money that i was
making and i couldn't like it was just
not even really a possibility and so
like i got into a place of like why why
am i even doing this like what's the
point like i'll never even be able to
spend this money that i have like why
have i been doing all this stuff and in
starting acquisition.com we're at least
making that the sole focus now again and
being able to build all the
infrastructure you know hire the teams
and all the stuff that we're doing on
that side of the business like i have so
much joy getting back into the game
because i feel like i've been kind of
like in a super high leverage position
for like an extended period of time that
i exited the business because i thought
that was what the next natural step was
supposed to be which is like you go from
ceo to owning it as shareholder or board
of directors whatever and that is very
much what happened but i realized that
for me at least it's like i work to
create options not to not work and so a
lot of people like they work really hard
to not have to work later it's like no
no it's like i work to have the option
to work and so i can choose to work and
that choice is the freedom that i have
and so like if i'm choosing with the
optionality that i have to work then
that is exactly what i want to do just
being on the other side of it of like
going to the like there's literally no
way i can spend this money for the rest
of my life mountaintop like the only
thing that i wanted to do was the thing
that got me here which is like i love
working and so it's the thing that i
find meaningful and i think that maybe
you shift direction in terms of like
maybe some of the stuff that you create
like maybe there's some things that you
create that are for youtube versus like
for gram and i just think that it just
slowly optimizes to only doing things
for gram which a lot of times still ends
up being that but like you get there
backwards yeah it's like if you made it
purely for you then you might be able to
make a video after that that's like i
walked 300 miles and i didn't film
anything and this is what i learned like
that would probably be a really valuable
video because you probably would have
some interesting insights like i didn't
film either of the grant cardone videos
and then just made videos about the
calls of like my takeaways and they were
still really great videos interesting
okay so my only thought to that is like
you are in a very unique position
because you run this business with your
wife and and stuff like that and i think
that marriage
plays a big part in my life yeah and i
think marriage is a compromise and so my
my wife doesn't like it when i work as
much and her i guess her her like love
language is what quality time or
whatever and i think graham his
girlfriend macy is similar and i think
that there's a compromise there where
yes graham if all he wants to do is work
that's great and he can work and work
and work but i think that marriage a
successful marriage is truly a
compromise and if if it turns out that
you know
like like you're really good i have like
so many thoughts right now yeah it's
stimulating conversation
and i think yeah and i think everybody's
in a unique position because you know
definitely like there's you you could
say well you know i'm gonna grind away
now so that you know i i don't have to
work in the future we could spend time
together or you can kind of balance and
live in the now and live in the future
but i think everybody's kind of in a
unique position but i think that that
part of your life is is is always going
to be a compromise to some sort of
extent so i think it's a belief that you
choose to define it that way yeah i'm
okay yeah i'm okay compromise is a
belief statement like that's not a
statement of fact that is a belief and
so like i don't believe that marriage is
compromised tell us your experience with
that because i have uh because i'm sure
we all have different experiences
mine in the beginning was that i did
find that there was a compromise because
macy came from the mindset like you know
five or six pm comes around
uh you're done with work yeah and you're
free and my mind works 24 7.
uh i tried that and i woke up really
early i'd wake up at like 5 a.m so i
could be done by 5 p.m and the night and
i that worked for actually quite a while
because i actually found it was so
productive in those morning hours that i
could be done by five and be like oh wow
this is great but over a long time
trying to figure out like a like a
balance i found myself i wasn't myself
like i i was really i felt anxious i was
just like uptight i was um
like about what part like no because
because i couldn't work during the hours
that i wanted to work like sometimes
just you just have this there's days
where it's just like no no i'm so
focused and i got it like you have that
concentration you just have to continue
and so having that freedom for me if i
don't have that i just wasn't myself and
i was miserable yeah what i'm going to
say and i i have very strong views um
and they are not common um but i also
think that i don't want to live a common
life and so that i cannot have common
views so just like as a as a big
disclaimer to that like i've only seen
two dynamics that work in relationships
over like an extended period of time one
is kind of the like we're in it together
and the other is like the you know
cheerleader and quarterback cheering you
on but the thing is is like i can tell i
can speak a lot to the you know we're in
the game together um for me i know
personally like i had two
very long relationships that were two
liter dynamics and to me i could not
imagine living life that way having now
lived what i live now because like
there's a certain amount of shared
respect that you never get with somebody
who does not know what it's like to be
in the battlefield or in the arena and
if i'm like i need to work for the next
three days and like write five book
chapters like there's not a discussion
it's like of course do your thing
there's no like there's no like i can't
believe you're like uh
and to the flip side in the cheerleader
dynamic a cheerleader who's really
rooting for the team doesn't ask the
quarterback to come out when the game's
on the line and so i think that a lot of
people are running in what they consider
to be cheerleader dynamics but they are
inverted dynamics they're actually
sabotaging the game i think that it's
like in that dynamic it's harder in my
opinion to do the cheerleader
quarterback because you have to have a
very aligned mission and goals of like
the relationship it's easier to do that
in the dynamic that you're working
together because it's so clearly stated
with the mission the goals of like this
is where i want to go and this is how i
want to get there and like you want to
come with me and then you're very much
operating on this shared sense of
reality and it also becomes difficult
for entrepreneurs in my opinion now like
i mean i'm sure you've seen plenty
people get divorces that they get older
and whatnot is that like if you're like
all right this will be interesting so
typically when people become attracted
so esther perel if you've heard of her
she's really interesting like
relationship person she's like one of
the top ted talks on it there's i think
it's called mating captivity is her book
but in the beginning you have kind of
this mystery because you don't know each
other and that's what creates like the
excitement right and as you get to know
each other over time you swing like from
uh mystery to familiarity right you get
a little bit more security get to know
each other better and it feels like more
and more amazing and so what you do is
you just keep trying to do that right
but what's up happening is you over
correct and then you become siblings and
then it's like ah well that's not good
and so it's not a problem to be solved
but a a dichotomy to be managed right in
terms of like how much space do you
create versus how much familiarity what
happens when people like entrepreneurs
specifically like have their business
and they
have the wife they spend more time in
the beginning and all of a sudden they
don't spend as much time together and
then they grow apart because they're
also exposed to different stimuli right
and so you adapt to the stimuli that you
have then you grow apart on the flip
side if you're in my scenario where
we're like doing the same thing together
the downside of this one these couples
make five times more money than any of
the other versions that i just said
but the uh you can become too familiar
and then you just become siblings so for
us we actually create more space so it's
like we try to work on separate sides of
the house we don't attend the same
meetings so like at the end of the day
we can sit down at dinner like how was
your day and you can tell me something
rather than me saying like oh i was
there i know right yeah and so the
happiest couples are actually couples
that have oh both have careers that are
not necessarily together so on average
these couples are the ones that because
they have a shared goal in terms of this
is what we want to do they have shared
values in terms of how they want to get
there and they respect one another and
they respect each other's goals and then
they walk kind of in parallel so you've
got the like i'm working the
entrepreneur and you've got the
stay-at-home wife there's many times
everyone's seen that one go wrong
there's the like we're both working
together in it where so these people
have to uh correct for trying to create
more familiarity these ones have to
create more space so you have the space
to be missed and then these ones tend to
be in the middle already and so they
just kind of like have to keep walking
and so for me it was actually just
interesting seeing the the different
dynamics and like how we had to correct
in the beginning like we were wait we
spent all day every day together and the
business was small so it was like she
was there and i was here and we worked
out together and we ate together and we
did that for like two years and i was
like you know maybe i'll sit on
different meetings than you
yeah but like seeing the level of like
commitment and loyalty that you get from
that and i don't know so i want a little
bit of a tangent there but i i have
strong beliefs around around that and i
think that you don't have to compromise
anything if you don't want to
Посмотреть больше похожих видео
Ordinary Visionaries - Brad Withers
John Travolta on the True Meaning of Success | Impact Theory
Signs You Found Your Soulmate - Jordan Peterson
Dietro le quinte del travel vlogging: come creare contenuti viaggiando
#AfterSix | Episode 4: The Gokong-Way
This Is How To Outwork Everyone Else - Alex Hormozi
5.0 / 5 (0 votes)