How to stop getting triggered | Lauren Nanson | TEDxSouthHowardAvenue

Summary

The speaker shares a personal journey of emotional triggers and the development of resilience. Through anecdotes and insights, they explore the difference between truth and being triggered, the impact of overprotection on mental health, and the importance of facing discomfort to build resilience. They introduce a 'CEO' strategy for managing triggers in the moment and encourage embracing challenges to improve relationships and mental well-being, concluding with a call to courage in the face of fear.

Takeaways

• 🎲 The speaker starts with a 'two truths and a lie' game to engage the audience and subtly introduce the topic of triggers.
• 🧠 The concept of 'triggers' is explored, illustrating how they can affect emotions and actions, often leading to irrational behavior.
• 👣 The speaker shares personal experiences of being highly sensitive and emotionally reactive, highlighting a journey from being easily triggered to developing resilience.
• 🏠 A move to Oregon is mentioned as an attempt to escape familiar influences, but it leads to a realization of the speaker's emotional instability.
• 😢 Emotional breakdowns and distrust in authority figures, particularly those with personalities similar to the speaker's father, are described.
• 🏥 A diagnosis of cancer and the subsequent physical and emotional challenges faced by the speaker are revealed, adding depth to the narrative.
• 🎬 Watching a Winston Churchill movie serves as a turning point, prompting self-reflection on the speaker's reactions to perceived injustices.
• 🤔 The idea that anger or discomfort might reveal more about the individual experiencing it than the subject of their anger is introduced.
• 💪 The development of resilience is emphasized as a crucial skill, especially in younger generations who may struggle with emotional sensitivity.
• 📚 Reference is made to 'The Coddling of the American Mind', discussing the negative impacts of overprotection and avoidance of triggers.
• 🧬 A neuroscience study on mice is cited to explain how resilience can alter gene receptors, potentially reducing the effects of trauma.
• 🛠 The 'CEO' strategy (Calm, Envision, Opposite action) is introduced as a practical tool for managing triggers and developing resilience in the moment.
• 🤝 The speaker concludes by emphasizing the importance of courage in choosing to develop resilience, quoting Winston Churchill on fear and courage.

Q & A

What is the purpose of the speaker's introduction with the 'Two Truths and a Lie' game?

The speaker uses the game to engage the audience and to illustrate the concept of triggers, aiming to demonstrate how easily people can be triggered by certain statements or situations.

How does the speaker describe their past behavior when triggered?

The speaker describes their past behavior as impulsive and reactive, often adopting unconventional practices without much thought, and experiencing emotional breakdowns triggered by authority figures or strong personalities.

What personal experience does the speaker share about their struggle with authority figures?

The speaker shares an experience of bursting into tears at a dinner hosted by a charismatic couple, triggered by the husband's personality which reminded them of their father. This incident highlights their sensitivity and difficulty in managing emotions.

What turning point does the speaker describe in their journey towards resilience?

The turning point was watching a Winston Churchill movie and being triggered by his behavior. This led the speaker to a moment of self-awareness, realizing that their anger was more about themselves than Churchill, and started the process of building resilience.

What is the main message the speaker conveys about resilience?

The main message is that resilience involves shifting focus from external triggers to internal control, allowing individuals to handle negative feelings and situations more effectively rather than avoiding them.

What strategy does the speaker introduce for developing resilience, and what does the acronym CEO stand for?

The strategy introduced is called CEO, which stands for Calm, Envision, and Opposite Action. It's a technique to help manage triggers in the moment by calming oneself, envisioning the desired behavior, and taking the opposite action of what the trigger suggests.

How does the speaker use a scientific study to support their message about resilience?

The speaker references a study by the Society for Neuroscience that showed resilient mice could reverse negative gene receptors caused by trauma into positive ones, outperforming medicated mice. This supports the idea that resilience can make individuals stronger if they embrace it.

What impact did developing resilience have on the speaker's relationship with their father?

Developing resilience allowed the speaker to let go of resentment towards their father, leading to a more positive and valuable relationship. They no longer felt triggered by men who reminded them of their father and found enjoyment in such interactions.

What does the speaker suggest is a significant issue contributing to the mental health epidemic in America?

The speaker suggests that the culture of overprotection against negative feelings is a significant issue, as it prevents people from developing resilience and effectively managing their triggers and emotions.

What quote does the speaker leave the audience with, and what is its significance?

The speaker leaves the audience with a quote from Winston Churchill: 'Fear is a reaction, courage is a decision.' This underscores the message that developing resilience and handling triggers involves a conscious choice to act with courage.