The Power of Nonverbal Communication | Joe Navarro | TEDxManchester

Summary

In this insightful TED Talk, the speaker, an ex-FBI agent, delves into the world of nonverbal communication, illustrating how our bodies, facial expressions, and even the clothes we wear constantly transmit information about us. Debunking common myths, such as the belief that crossed arms signify defensiveness, the speaker emphasizes the authenticity and universality of nonverbal cues rooted in our limbic system. The talk encourages viewers to harness the power of nonverbals to foster empathy and influence, ultimately shaping our interactions and relationships.

Takeaways

• 📚 Nonverbal communication encompasses all forms of communication that do not involve words, such as body language and environment.
• 👗 The way we dress and the items we choose to carry with us, like a purse or a pen, are part of our nonverbal communication.
• 👀 Our facial expressions and eye contact are powerful nonverbal cues that communicate our feelings and thoughts.
• 👶 Even the facial expressions of infants, like a furrowed forehead, are authentic forms of nonverbal communication.
• 🤝 The quality of a handshake can convey a lot about our intentions and feelings towards others.
• 🦅 Humans instinctively react to certain stimuli, like the sight of a Bengal tiger, without the need for conscious thought, demonstrating the authenticity of nonverbal cues.
• 😐 The disappearance of our lips when we're stressed is an example of how our body language can betray our internal state.
• 🤔 The idea that certain nonverbal behaviors, like crossed arms, indicate deception is a myth and should not be taken as fact.
• 🤗 Nonverbal communication is crucial for empathy, as it allows us to understand and connect with others on a deeper level.
• 🌏 According to Carl Sagan, our influence on others is the sum total of who we are, highlighting the importance of nonverbals in shaping our impact.
• 🔄 We have the ability to change our nonverbal communication to become more influential and empathetic individuals.

Q & A

What is the primary focus of the speaker's discussion?

The speaker's primary focus is on nonverbal communication, explaining how it is an essential part of our daily interactions and how it can convey a wide range of messages without the use of words.

What does the speaker suggest is the role of nonverbals in our lives?

The speaker suggests that nonverbals play a crucial role in our lives as they communicate our feelings, thoughts, desires, intentions, anxieties, and fears in real time.

How does the speaker describe the authenticity of nonverbal cues?

The speaker describes nonverbal cues as authentic because they are directly linked to the limbic system, a primitive part of the brain that reacts instinctively and without thought.

What is an example of a nonverbal cue that the speaker mentions?

One example of a nonverbal cue mentioned by the speaker is a bad handshake, which can communicate discomfort or a lack of sincerity.

Why does the speaker emphasize the importance of understanding nonverbals?

The speaker emphasizes the importance of understanding nonverbals because they are a powerful means of communication that can convey love, empathy, and influence in ways that words cannot.

What is the speaker's background that informs their expertise on nonverbals?

The speaker's expertise on nonverbals is informed by their 25-year career in the FBI, where they had to interpret nonverbal cues in various situations.

What myth does the speaker debunk regarding the detection of deception through nonverbals?

The speaker debunks the myth that there is a single nonverbal behavior indicative of deception, such as the Pinocchio effect, stating that no such universal behavior exists.

How does the speaker address the common misconception about crossed arms?

The speaker addresses the misconception by stating that crossed arms do not necessarily mean someone is blocking others away; instead, it can be a self-hug and a sign of comfort.

What does the speaker suggest is the most authentic part of nonverbal communication?

The speaker suggests that the most authentic part of nonverbal communication comes from the limbic brain, which reacts instinctively and without conscious thought.

How does the speaker relate nonverbal communication to the concept of empathy?

The speaker relates nonverbal communication to empathy by stating that understanding nonverbals is the only way to be truly empathetic, as it allows us to connect with others on a deeper level.

What does the speaker advise the audience to consider regarding their nonverbals?

The speaker advises the audience to consider how they can change their nonverbals to become more influential and empathetic, which are qualities needed in the world.

Outlines

00:00

📚 The Power and Authenticity of Nonverbal Communication

The speaker, Amanda Zhu, discusses the pervasive nature of nonverbal communication, which includes all forms of expression that do not involve words. She emphasizes that everything from how we sit to the items we carry communicates something about us to others. Zhu also touches on the idea that nonverbals are a part of us from the moment we are born, as evidenced by the way we can tell if a sleeping child is having a nightmare. She uses humor to illustrate how nonverbal cues are given away even when we are not speaking, such as through our choice of attire, which can reveal our background and personality. Zhu also addresses the authenticity of nonverbal communication, suggesting that by debunking myths and focusing on what truly matters, we can better understand the power of nonverbals in our daily interactions.

05:03

🧠 The Limbic System and Genuine Nonverbal Reactions

This paragraph delves into the neurological basis of nonverbal communication, highlighting the limbic system's role in processing and responding to the world around us without conscious thought. The speaker uses the example of a Bengal tiger to illustrate how the limbic system prompts immediate, instinctive reactions. They explain that behaviors stemming from this primitive part of the brain are authentic and universal, such as freezing at a loud noise or covering the mouth in response to shocking news. The speaker also discusses how these nonverbal cues have been consistent throughout human history, as evidenced by the similar behaviors observed across different cultures and time periods. They debunk common misconceptions about nonverbal cues, such as the belief that crossed arms indicate defensiveness or deception, and emphasize the importance of understanding genuine nonverbal signals for effective communication.

10:05

🤝 The Influence of Nonverbals on Empathy and Personal Impact

In the final paragraph, the speaker focuses on the impact of nonverbal communication on empathy and personal influence. They argue that by understanding and adjusting our nonverbal cues, we can become more influential and empathetic individuals. The speaker encourages the audience to consider how they can use nonverbal communication to their advantage, suggesting that our influence on others is a more significant measure of our worth than material possessions or status. They conclude by emphasizing the power of nonverbal communication in fostering empathy and connection, and they thank the audience for their attention with a call to action to think critically about their nonverbal behavior.

Keywords

💡Nonverbals

Nonverbals refer to all forms of communication that do not involve words, including body language, facial expressions, gestures, eye contact, and even the objects one carries or wears. In the video, the speaker emphasizes that nonverbals are a powerful form of communication that can convey a person's feelings, thoughts, and intentions without speaking. Examples from the script include the way one sits, the things one carries like a purse or a pen, and even how one dresses, all of which are forms of nonverbal communication.

💡Authenticity

Authenticity, in the context of the video, pertains to the genuineness of nonverbal signals. The speaker discusses the authenticity of nonverbal communication by debunking myths and highlighting that certain nonverbal cues are deeply rooted in human biology and culture, making them inherently authentic. For instance, the speaker mentions that the limbic system, a primitive part of the brain, reacts to stimuli without conscious thought, leading to authentic nonverbal responses such as freezing at the sight of a Bengal tiger.

💡Limbic System

The limbic system is a part of the brain that is associated with emotion, survival instincts, and memory. It is highlighted in the video as the source of many authentic nonverbal responses. The speaker explains that the limbic system allows humans to react quickly and without thought to certain stimuli, such as freezing at the sight of a potential threat or covering the mouth in surprise. This system is integral to the concept of nonverbal communication as it governs many instinctive and genuine reactions.

💡Cultural Influence

Cultural influence refers to the impact of one's cultural background on their behavior and communication style, including nonverbal cues. The video discusses how the choices people make, such as how they dress, are influenced by cultural norms, peer pressure, and personal preferences. The speaker's mention of dressing for TED Talks versus dressing from a background in the FBI illustrates how cultural context shapes nonverbal communication.

💡Peer Pressure

Peer pressure is the influence that other people have on an individual's behavior, often to conform to certain standards or norms within a group. In the video, the concept is mentioned in relation to how people choose to dress, indicating that nonverbal communication is not just a personal expression but can also be a response to social expectations and influences.

💡Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. The speaker in the video stresses the importance of empathy and suggests that understanding nonverbals is key to being empathetic. By recognizing and interpreting nonverbal cues accurately, one can better connect with others on an emotional level. The video encourages viewers to consider how they can use nonverbal communication to become more empathetic and influential.

💡Myths

Myths, in the context of the video, refer to common misconceptions or false beliefs about nonverbal communication. The speaker aims to dispel myths, such as the idea that certain behaviors are definitive signs of deception or that crossing one's arms indicates closed-off body language. By debunking these myths, the speaker seeks to provide a clearer understanding of the true nature and value of nonverbal cues.

💡Deception

Deception is the act of misleading or being dishonest. The video addresses the myth that nonverbal cues can be used to accurately detect deception. The speaker clarifies that there is no single nonverbal behavior that is universally indicative of lying, emphasizing the importance of not misinterpreting anxiety or stress as signs of deception.

💡Influence

Influence, as discussed in the video, is the capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone or something. The speaker suggests that nonverbals are a primary means through which people influence each other, citing examples like a nice handshake or a pat on the shoulder. The video encourages viewers to consider how they can use nonverbal communication to become more influential and empathetic.

💡Anthropological Standpoint

An anthropological standpoint involves viewing and analyzing human societies and cultures and their development from a scientific perspective. In the video, the speaker uses this perspective to discuss how nonverbal communication can reveal information about a person's background, beliefs, and values. The speaker's mention of transmitting information about oneself through nonverbals is an example of applying an anthropological lens to understand human behavior.

💡Free Agency

Free agency refers to the concept of having the freedom to make one's own choices and decisions. The video touches on the idea that individuals have the power to change their nonverbal communication, thereby influencing their interactions with others. The speaker encourages viewers to think about how they can alter their nonverbals to become more influential, highlighting the importance of personal choice and agency in shaping one's impact on others.

Highlights

Nonverbals are everything that communicates without using words.

The environment and personal items communicate about us.

Body language and eye contact are forms of nonverbal communication.

Even when observing a sleeping child, nonverbal cues can indicate their state.

People are constantly assessing and transmitting information nonverbally.

Cultural, peer, and personal factors influence our nonverbal choices.

Authenticity in nonverbal communication is a common question.

Nonverbal communication is powerful and should be understood without myths.

A bad handshake is a universal nonverbal cue of discomfort.

Humans naturally make facial expressions that reveal our feelings.

The limbic system in the brain is responsible for instinctive nonverbal reactions.

Nonverbal behaviors like freezing in fear are primal and authentic.

Status and authority can be communicated nonverbally across cultures.

Facial expressions are an ancient form of nonverbal communication.

Blind children use nonverbal cues like covering their eyes similarly to sighted individuals.

Stress can cause physical reactions like lip disappearance or neck covering.

There is no single nonverbal behavior that is indicative of deception.

Common myths about nonverbals, like crossed arms indicating defensiveness, are debunked.

Nonverbal communication is used to ensure comfort and empathy.

Influence on others is the sum of our existence according to Carl Sagan.

Nonverbal actions are a powerful way to communicate empathy and love.

Individuals have the choice to change their nonverbals to become more influential.

The need for empathy in the world can be addressed through understanding nonverbal communication.

Transcripts

Transcriber: Amanda Zhu Reviewer: Mirjana Čutura

Nonverbals is everything that communicates

but is not a word.

This beautiful theater,

it's communicating to us.

How you sit is communicating to us.

The things that you attach to yourself -

a purse, a pen, a fancy car -

all these things are communicating.

How you look at others communicates.

And all day long,

we are communicating nonverbally.

All day long.

You can look in on your child as they sleep,

and you can tell if they're having a nightmare

or if they're sleeping soundly.

As you sit there -

and now I'm starting to see some of you -

you're giving information up,

even as I'm giving information up.

You're assessing me.

If I can speak to you from an anthropological standpoint,

I am transmitting information about myself, my beliefs,

the things that I value,

even as you are.

Now that I can see you a little clearer,

how many of you were dressed by your parents today?

Raise your hand.

(Laughter)

Wow!

(Laughs)

Spouses - that's okay.

Your spouses can dr -

So you chose to dress the way you did,

even as I chose to dress the way I did.

They said, "Well, it's TED Talks. You can dress down."

I said, "You know, I was in the FBI for 25 years.

I don't know how else to dress."

(Laughter)

"It would be such a disappointment."

It's like on TV.

They always have suits,

even when they're walking through the marsh.

(Laughter)

It's true.

I can't tell you how many crime scenes I went through

that ruined really inexpensive suits.

(Laughter)

But we look good!

But we looked good.

(Laughter)

I guess humor is allowed.

So all day long, we're making choices.

We're making choices.

They're based on culture.

They're based on peer pressure, on personal preferences.

And so the things we wear and attach to ourselves are transmitting -

our bodies are transmitting information.

And the question that I'm often asked is, well, how authentic is it?

How authentic is it?

And as I pondered this,

I said, "You know what?

What if we think of the power of nonverbal communication?

But let's do it by taking the myths out of it

and plugging in what really values,

what really is a value,

when it comes to nonverbals."

How many of you have had a bad handshake?

(Laughter)

Now, normally -

of course, now we have the coronavirus -

I would have you turn to each other

and give each other a handshake that's really bad.

But I'm not going to do that.

I want you to just put your hand in front of you

and pretend to give someone a bad handshake.

Ready? Let's do it.

(Laughter)

Let's do it, do it, do it.

Yeah.

Yeah, good.

Do you realize the funny faces you make?

(Laughter)

It's like, I didn't ask you to make a funny face,

and yet you did.

Why is that?

Because you're human.

And humans betray what we feel,

what we think,

what we desire,

what we intend,

what makes us anxious,

and what we fear.

And we do it in real time.

We don't have to wait 20 minutes;

it happens now.

And our body language, in a way, it's exquisite

because there's an area of the brain that is elegant.

And it's elegant because it takes shortcuts;

it doesn't think.

If I bring in a Bengal tiger here and walk it around,

nobody sits around and waves at it.

That's like, you know, "Eat me."

No! Everybody freezes.

And that's because of the limbic system.

This rather primitive area of the brain that reacts to the world,

doesn't have to think about the world.

And everything that comes from the limbic brain

is so authentic.

You hear a loud noise and you freeze.

Right?

"What? What was that?"

You get bad news, or you see something on TV,

and you cover your mouth.

(Gasps)

"Why is that?"

When the conquistadores arrived in the New World,

they didn't have any problem finding out who was in authority.

The same behaviors that they had just left in Queen Isabella's court,

they saw in the New World.

The kings sat higher, had better clothing,

had an entourage.

Okay, they didn't have their own show on television,

but pretty close.

So all these behaviors are very authentic

because the limbic system resides within that human brain -

it's part of our paleocircuits.

And so, when we see the furrowed forehead

on a baby that's three weeks old,

we know that -

this little area called the glabella -

something is wrong,

there's an issue.

When we see the bunny nose, right,

when you wrinkle the nose,

yeah, we know what that means -

"Ew, I don't like that,"

"Mm, I don't want that. Don't want that,"

"Ew!"

Right?

Did I just say that in public?

(Laughter)

When we squint, we're focusing, but we have concerns.

Ah, when the eyelids close,

"You want me to do what?"

And if things are really bad,

(Laughter)

"You want me to talk for 15 minutes?"

(Laughter)

Here's what's interesting.

Children who are born blind,

when they hear things they don't like,

they don't cover their ears, they cover their eyes.

They've never seen.

This is millions of years old.

Smiles are important.

And our mouths.

The lips begin to disappear when we're stressed, right?

Most politicians look something like that?

(Laughter)

And right before they're indicted, they look like that -

(Laughter)

dramatic lip pulls,

jaw shifting,

and covering of the neck.

(Gasps)

You've seen that - clutching of the pearls.

They go, (Gasps)

"There's that creep! Oh, he's gone now."

"He's back!"

(Laughter)

But did you know why?

Large felines.

We have seen large felines for so long,

taking down prey,

that we immediately cover our necks.

How many of you've been told

that you can detect deception by the use of nonverbals?

I'm here to clear that up.

When you leave here today, and you say,

"Well, I heard that Navarro fellow,

and he did about 13,000 interviews in the FBI.

He said there is no Pinocchio effect.

There's not one single behavior indicative of deception.

Not one."

And we mustn't propagate that.

We must not tell people

that we can detect that they're lying because of behaviors.

They may be anxious,

they may be stressed,

but not deceptive.

How many of you have been told that if you cross your arms,

that you're blocking people away?

Have you heard that?

There's a clinical term for that.

It's called "crap."

(Laughter)

Yeah, I said it.

(Laughter)

Get over it.

(Laughter)

It's crap.

It's a self-hug.

You're comfortable.

Yeah, where does this nonsense come from?

You know, I'm asked a question often:

"So, you know, Joe, you were a spycatcher.

You use nonverbals every day.

What do you use it for?"

To make sure people are comfortable.

To make sure that we are empathetic.

The only way to be truly empathetic is by understanding nonverbals.

Carl Sagan, the famous cosmologist, said,

"Who are we? What are we?"

If you think about that,

it really takes a smart person to ask that question.

What are we in this universe?

And he summed it up this way -

and I think it's rather exquisite -

he said all we are is the sum total of our influence on others.

That's all we are.

It's not how much you earn.

It's not how many cars you have.

It's our influence on each other.

And what's interesting is

that the primary way that we influence each others

is through nonverbals.

It's that nice handshake;

it's the pat on the shoulder;

it's that touch of the hand.

It is that behavior that communicates love

in a way that words simply can't do it.

When you leave here, you're going to have choices.

You always have choices; you have free agency.

And one of the things that you should think about is,

How do I change my nonverbals?

How do I become that person of influence?

Because if there's one thing we need in this world,

it's truly to be more empathetic.

And so when I see this,

it says it all.

That's why we use nonverbals -

because they're powerful.

Thank you.

(Applause)