Matthew Hussey — Set Better Intentions and Break Unhealthy Dating Habits | Prof G Conversations
Summary
TLDRIn this insightful conversation, Matthew Hussey, a renowned dating expert and New York Times bestselling author of 'Love Life: How to Raise Your Standards, Find Your Person, and Live Happily No Matter What,' discusses the complexities of building long-term relationships. He emphasizes the importance of a calm and slow pace to establish trust and genuine connections, as opposed to the superficiality of modern dating. Hussey also addresses the impact of technology on dating behaviors, the challenges of loneliness, and the need for proactive measures to foster social connections. He offers advice on identifying core values and pursuing relationships that align with one's true happiness, rather than being driven by ego or superficial attraction.
Takeaways
- 💭 The importance of building trust and deep relationships through a calmer, slower pace rather than relying on superficial connections.
- 📚 Matthew Hussey's new book, 'Love Life', addresses the fundamental obstacles in finding love and the reality of life not always going as planned.
- 🤔 The book discusses internal blockages such as past traumas and familiar patterns that can hinder the development of fulfilling relationships.
- 🏠 Environmental factors like the lack of social structures as people age can make it harder to form new friendships and relationships.
- 🚪 The necessity of being proactive in creating opportunities to meet new people, as life stages progress beyond college or starting new jobs.
- 📱 The impact of technology and online dating on human behavior, making it easier to stay home and engage in superficial connections rather than deep ones.
- 🎯 The role of dopamine in addiction to phones and constant stimulation, which can interfere with building long-term, meaningful relationships.
- 👫 Online dating's impact on men and women differently, with men experiencing a 'Porsche polygamy' effect where a small percentage get most of the attention.
- 💡 The advice to be wary of transferring the importance we feel for the position we want to fill to a new person who might one day fill it.
- 🔍 The suggestion to look back at past relationships to identify what was missing that made us unhappy, and prioritize that in future relationships.
- 🚶♂️ The recommendation to set a clear path in life and understand personal values before entering the dating scene to avoid being swept away by superficial attractions.
Q & A
What is the main theme of Matthew Hussey's book 'Love Life'?
-The main theme of 'Love Life' is to address the deeper reasons why people might struggle with dating and relationships, including the internal blockages and external factors that can impede the formation of fulfilling romantic connections.
Why did Matthew Hussey write 'Love Life' after a gap of over 10 years since his last book?
-Matthew Hussey wrote 'Love Life' to provide advice on not just the strategic side of dating, but also to tackle the fundamental obstacles that people face in finding meaningful relationships, which his previous book did not cover.
What are some of the challenges Matthew Hussey identifies in building long-term relationships in the modern world?
-Some challenges include the lack of social structures that force people to meet new individuals as they age, the ease of staying at home and not engaging in social activities, and the dopamine-driven culture that prioritizes instant gratification over building deeper connections.
How does Matthew Hussey view the impact of technology and online dating on modern relationships?
-Hussey sees online dating as a double-edged sword; it provides the ease of meeting people without leaving home, which can be addictive, but it also makes it harder for people to have real social interactions and build meaningful relationships.
What does Matthew Hussey suggest about the role of social structures in meeting new people as we age?
-Hussey suggests that as people get older, the social structures that naturally bring people together, like college or new jobs, become less prevalent, making it more difficult to meet new people and form friendships or relationships.
According to Matthew Hussey, why might people struggle to make friends as they get older?
-Hussey believes that as people age, they often lack the 'forced structure' that comes with life stages like college or starting a new job, making it harder for them to meet new people and form connections.
What advice does Matthew Hussey give on avoiding unhealthy relationships?
-Hussey advises people to first set their path and determine what is valuable to them before entering the dating scene. He emphasizes the importance of looking for alignment with one's values and long-term happiness over immediate attraction or ego-driven choices.
How does Matthew Hussey describe the impact of the 'Porsche polygamy effect' on online dating?
-The 'Porsche polygamy effect' refers to a scenario where the top 10% of men on dating apps receive an abundance of matches, while the bottom 90% get very few, leading to frustration and a distorted dating environment.
What does Matthew Hussey suggest about the importance of not rushing into a relationship based on initial attraction?
-Hussey suggests that it's crucial to look beyond initial attraction and charisma to assess whether a potential partner aligns with one's values and can contribute to a fulfilling life in the long term.
What is Matthew Hussey's perspective on the role of ego in choosing a partner?
-Hussey believes that ego can drive people to choose partners based on superficial qualities or the approval of others, rather than focusing on what will genuinely bring them happiness and fulfillment.
How does Matthew Hussey address the issue of loneliness and lack of fulfilling relationships in his book?
-Hussey addresses loneliness by encouraging readers to reflect on their past relationships, identify what was missing, and prioritize those missing elements in future relationships to avoid chronic loneliness and dissatisfaction.
Outlines
💭 The Challenge of Building Trust in Relationships
The speaker discusses the importance of a calmer, slower pace in building long-term relationships and trust. They highlight the difference between real friendships and superficial connections and emphasize the need for time spent together to develop genuine relationships. The conversation shifts to the author's new book, 'Love Life,' which addresses the struggles of finding meaningful relationships and overcoming internal and external obstacles, such as life structure, mindset, and past traumas. The book also tackles the reality of life's unpredictability and the feelings of loneliness and unfulfilled love lives that many people face.
🌐 Environmental Factors Contributing to Loneliness
In this paragraph, the discussion centers on the environmental factors leading to a perceived crisis of loneliness and household formation. The speaker notes that as people age, it becomes increasingly difficult to make friends due to the lack of social structures post-college or work. They suggest that the ease of staying home, facilitated by technological advancements in dating, contributes to this issue. The speaker also touches on the impact of dopamine addiction through constant stimulation from phones and social media, which hinders the development of deep, meaningful relationships that require a slower pace and trust-building.
📱 The Impact of Online Dating on Social Interaction
The speaker explores the effects of online dating on how people meet and interact. They express concern that online dating platforms encourage a dopamine-driven cycle of seeking attention and novelty, which can detract from forming real connections. The speaker notes that online dating can lead to prolonged texting without actual dates or social interaction, creating a disconnect from reality. They also discuss the disparity in online dating experiences between men and women, with men often facing a more challenging time gaining matches and women potentially being drawn to a smaller pool of top-tier men, leading to dissatisfaction and unhealthy dynamics.
🔄 The Danger of Projecting Importance onto New Relationships
The speaker delves into the psychological aspect of transferring the importance we feel for a desired relationship position onto a new person who might fill it. They discuss the tendency to become infatuated with someone as a means to escape dissatisfaction with one's current life, rather than a genuine connection with that person. The speaker advises being wary of this instinct and emphasizes the importance of understanding that initial attraction does not equate to knowing a person's character, which can only be assessed over time.
🛑 Prioritizing Personal Values in Relationships
In this paragraph, the speaker stresses the importance of setting personal values and priorities before entering the dating scene. They argue that being clear on what one values can prevent being swept away by superficial attractions and instead focus on finding a partner aligned with one's deeper values and long-term happiness. The speaker encourages reflecting on past relationships to identify missing ingredients that led to unhappiness, suggesting that these should be the top priority in future relationships.
🧘♂️ Seeking Happiness from Within and Avoiding Ego-Driven Choices
The speaker advises focusing on personal happiness and peace, rather than seeking validation from others or being driven by ego. They discuss the importance of identifying and pursuing feelings and experiences that genuinely improve one's quality of life. The speaker also touches on the concept of detoxing from unhealthy habits and feelings, suggesting that it may take time to appreciate new, healthier experiences. They conclude by emphasizing the need for self-reflection and intentionality in choosing partners and lifestyles that contribute to a fulfilling life.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Long-term relationships
💡Reciprocity
💡Mindset
💡Internal blockages
💡Loneliness
💡Dopamine
💡Online dating
💡Superficial connections
💡Identity Matrix
💡Ego
Highlights
The importance of a calmer, slower pace in building trust and real friendships for long-term relationships.
The author's motivation for writing the book 'Love Life' after an 11-year gap, focusing on deeper reasons for struggles in finding love.
Addressing fundamental obstacles in dating such as life structure, mindset, and past traumas.
The reality of life not going as planned and the emotional impact of being single unexpectedly.
The crisis of loneliness and lack of household formation as a societal issue.
The difficulty of making friends as one gets older and the lack of social structures outside of work or college.
The role of technology in facilitating comfort and the path of least resistance, impacting social interaction.
The impact of dopamine addiction and constant stimulation on building long-term relationships.
The prevalence of superficial connections over deep, reliable friendships in modern society.
Online dating's role in providing dopamine hits and its impact on forming real connections.
The gender disparity in online dating experiences and the 'Porsche polygamy effect'.
The advice against transferring the importance of a needed life position to a new person too quickly.
The value of self-reflection and understanding one's own life position before seeking a partner.
The need to diversify sources of confidence and identity to create a more stable self.
Setting one's path in life before entering the dating scene to avoid being swept away by superficial attractions.
The importance of identifying and prioritizing what truly makes us happy in a relationship.
The challenge of recognizing and letting go of feelings and experiences that do not serve us well.
Matthew Hussey's background as a dating expert, confidence coach, and author of 'Love Life'.
Transcripts
long-term
relationships they require a calmer
slower Pace to actually build the trust
you know the the reciprocity the time
spent together that actually leads to
real friendships real relationships and
what I see now is that they're not
building friendships they can actually
rely
[Music]
on Matthew where does this podcast find
you at Los Angeles I'm uh in Beverly
Grove so let's talk about your new book
love life how to raise your standards
find your person and live happily no
matter what can you walk us through what
led you to write this I I I wrote this
book it's called love life um I suppose
I wrote it partly because I hadn't
written a book in over 10 years uh the
last book I wrote was about 11 years ago
and it was a very different book it was
more kind of I I suppose on some level
on the Strategic or tactical side of how
to go out there and find someone um but
this book really
addressed some of the bigger reasons why
we might struggle to do that why all the
all the advice in the world that relates
to dating can fail us when there are
just fundamental obstacles getting in
our way in either the way that our life
is structured in the mindset we bring to
it in the frankly the trauma we bring to
the table when we go out there and date
the the internal blockages the
continuing to go for what is familiar
instead of what's actually going to make
us happier and so this this book
attempts to address those while also
addressing the reality
that life doesn't always go the way that
we had hoped and it often doesn't and
people find themselves single at a time
in their lives they never assumed they
would be single never dreamt they would
still have not found kind of person or
love that they'd been looking for or
come out of a a second marriage at you
know 65 and are going oh my God what
happened you know how how am I finding
myself alone right now and and and for
the people that had never been married
and had never found that and are finding
that they've spent their whole lives
with a kind of chronic pain of
loneliness uh
anxiety uh sadness or depression around
not having a fulfilling love life so I
wrote this book to deal with hard
questions really uh and and hard things
that people go through as much as the
dream of finding what we want to find
what do you think are some of the macro
the or the environmental factors that
have resulted in it seems like there is
a crisis of loneliness a lack of
household
formation but in general it feels like
loneliness especially men but across
both genders is kind of a the lack of
better term epidemic uh levels what are
the what are the atmospherics that have
caused that and what are some of the
solutions or personal behaviors you
would
recommend so I whatever issues people
have with finding it harder to make
friends the older they get which I think
is a real issue I think that there are
certain structures that we are kind of
forced into a age you know if people go
to college then you're forced into a
social structure and you meet people and
every year after that it tends to get
harder for people I mean some for some
people it's easier especially starting a
new job is a chance at a new community
although it's still one related to your
work but it's still a chance to go if
you even work in a building anymore it's
a chance to go to a building where there
are other people there and potentially
meet people um but outside of starting
new jobs a lot of people I talk to don't
have any forced structure where they're
going to meet new people in new in this
decade of their life whether it's their
30s 40s 50s 60s and so I think
increasingly we have to have the the
proactivity and the impetus to engineer
those structures ourselves um and that's
a hard thing to do one of the things I
love that you I heard you talk about
Scott is just this idea that when you're
talking about
men they're staying at home and and
they're not in the world you know they
are they're not building the robustness
that comes from Simply stepping outside
their front door and being in teams in
groups in situations where they can meet
strangers and I think that's true for a
lot of women as well women typically
from everything I've ever seen have
empirically a much easier time staying
connected to friends and being part of
social groups with them friends than
guys do but on both sides it's so much
easier to stay home now and by the way
all the changes in dating and Tech in
dating have made that easier again cuz
at least dating used to finding love
used to be a motivator in getting out of
the house and that might be something
that forced us into situations where we
had to meet with other people but
nowadays you know you don't even have to
leave the house for that so
human behavior is always going to Trend
towards what's most comfortable what's
the path of least resistance and that's
what people are able to do in dating as
well as every other path I see these
days and dopamine I think also plays a
huge role in the problems that people
are experiencing because the addiction
that we have to our phones the addiction
that we have to constant hits of
attention or novelty and I'm I'm not
just talking about the areas where
directly social like liking getting
people to like our Instagram posts or
getting a match on Tinder even just the
dopamine cycle we're in of constant
stimulation that has nothing to do with
our social life I think is a real
problem for building relationships
because it we're just wired these days
for that kind of novelty and instant
gratification and
friendships attraction long-term
relationships they require a calmer
slower Pace to actually build the trust
the you know the the
reciprocity the time spent together that
actually leads to real friendships real
relationships and what I see now is that
people have so many superficial
connections but they're just they're not
building friendships they can actually
rely on they're building lots a network
of people they can show off to but
they're not building the relationships
that when they're having a terrible time
in life when things when the really
hits the fan and they need someone to
talk to they don't necessarily have an
abundance of those people in their lives
and a lot of the ones they do have are
unhealthy relationships they're not
supportive how has online dating
impacted um um how people meet like
what's your what's your view on online
dating and um I my sense is it's it's
impacted men and women differently what
are your thoughts hm I'd love to hear
I'd love to hear your thoughts on that I
online dating has made it easier for
people to get that dopamine hit that I
was talking about but it's made it
harder to for many people to get to the
point of actually getting to know
someone actually having any real moment
of social interaction you know the
number of people I speak to that get
locked into cycles of speaking to
someone for weeks or months where it's
just a texting Dynamic there's there's
no M you know how many people never even
get to the point of a date with someone
that they are seeing in an online
environment you know I say seeing in
quotes because the real danger I see
with so many people and I see this time
and again is we
are not present with the reality of our
actual lives and relationships
especially in our love lives we are more
concerned with the fantasy of what could
be online dating gives us
ample kind of uh fodder for those
stories without necessarily training us
to be disciplined and ruthless about
actually focusing on people that present
as real prospects and people I see
people people waste years or even
Decades of their life on those stories
and time is time is ticking the whole
time we're spending 6 months in a like
quote
situationship with someone who's not
progressing there six months you'll
never get back um so that I see that a
lot on the on the women's side I'm
curious to to know what you are seeing
on the men's side and how it presents
differently well with men
it's so women have much finer filter
than men and also there's more men on
these apps so what this all distills
down to is that a man of average
attractiveness on an app has to swipe
right 200 times to get one match and so
for men who are kind of in the bottom 90
online dating is pretty humiliating and
so you have this kind of Porsche
polygamy effect online where the top 10%
of men get an abundance of opportunity
and the bottom 90 get almost none and so
it feels like women are all kind of
pursuing the same guy and those guys who
get an abundance of attention it doesn't
incentivize them to behave well and then
the bottom 90 are just very frustrated
and upset and start you know going going
to Dark Places you you said something
that struck me in your book and I really
like this you said we have to be wary of
the instinct to transfer the importance
we feel for the position we are looking
to fill to a new person who only might
one day fill it and I was thinking
about my own personal experience with
dating and that is whenever I've become
a little too obsessed as the wrong word
because it's never taken over my life
but infatuated with someone it wasn't
about that person it was about where I
was in my life at that moment that I
wanted something that was going to take
me away and I Envision this new life
because I wasn't enjoying my current
life and the prospect of this person or
being in relationship with this person
filled that vessel that opportunity to
do something differently anyways say
more about what you meant
here well I I I love what you just said
the you know I think when we're not when
we're trying to derive our source from
something or someone else then you know
we we can't afford to lose it and and I
do think the more we find ways to create
that
Source from within or you know even just
from more diverse external sources so
that it that you know in the book I I
get people to kind of as an exercise
draw what i' call an identity Matrix of
all of the different things that make up
the identity they've constructed for
themselves and I know on a mindfulness
level that would be seen as just all
being a problem because any any kind of
identity we take from anywhere is makes
us vulnerable and and of course that's
true but that doesn't mean it isn't wise
to diversify the sources of confidence
and identity in our lives and you know
that's why for people who have hobbies
that they love or creative Endeavors
that they derive purpose from um or
careers that that they you know derive
an enormous amount of satisfaction from
or friends and family relationships they
are diversifying the sources of their
confidence um and that's a very powerful
thing now romantically there's always
going to be this incredible draw to that
square in our identity Matrix uh and you
know
for so many people I would argue
universally whatever form it comes in we
are looking for love we want that
feeling of having a mate we want that
feeling of being attractive to the
people we're trying to attract um we
want to feel fulfilled in our love lives
so that desire to find that becomes so
in some case is anxiously driven
especially when time is running out or
it feels like time is running out that's
true from on a very literal level for
everyone who's looking for a family of
their own biologically um and for women
more than men although for for men too
more than a lot of them realize that
that fear of time running out amplifies
this feeling of God I have this really
important position that I want to fill
in my life um I I'm trying to fill the
position of my life partner and we get
so obsessed with how important it is to
fill that position that the moment we go
on a date and we you see even the
faintest hope that this person could
represent a a candidate for that
position which by the way Scott normally
is not based on any deeper character
traits cuz how many of people's deeper
character traits can we really ascertain
on a 1 hour first date usually it's
based on the fact that they were
Charming or they were charismatic or
they kind of you know swept us off our
feet a little bit or you know they made
us feel really good about ourselves in
that hour or they were sexy or they had
the body shape we're attracted to we see
those things and our brain kind of
lights up and goes oh this could be it
this could be that person and all of a
sudden in this very subtle but Insidious
move all of the importance of the role
we're trying to fill suddenly gets
shifted over to this person sitting
across the dinner table from us and then
you know week in we're wondering why am
I obsessed how I'm obsessed with this
person and we you know cognitive
dissonance I think makes us tell a story
about why we're obsessed like no I'm
obsessed because I really do feel an
amazing connection with this person I I
haven't felt this in a long time and we
try to tell ourselves a rational story
about why this person we just met is
instantly so important to us but the
reality I think is one we have to
confront in order to actually let the
air out of that balloon in a healthy way
which is that I do not know this person
um all I know is their impact at this
stage I don't know their character much
as in a job interview you know I I I
don't know about you Scott I've been
humbled by you know I've always thought
I'm an incredible judge of character I
really am I'm great at judging character
and then you know I I hire someone for a
role because in the first hour I thought
this person's incredible they're going
to do wonders for our company and then 6
months later I I'm humbled by how wrong
I was it's very hard to tell and so the
the idea of oh I know this person from
this first hour is is just it's an
arrogance a lot of us have the truth is
character is consistent and consistency
can only be measured over
time we'll be right
back if you could give men and women or
maybe it's different for each a a of
kind of one or two best practices or
behavioral modifications that would
increase the likelihood they might end
up in a healthy relationship what what
are those one or two things you know I
think firstly set your path before you
go out there into dating because
otherwise you you're going to be swept
away by whatever is the shiniest thing
not by someone that's actually aligned
with your values not that someone
presents as someone who's going to make
your life better now and in the future
you know we've all seen men and women
attracted to sex appeal charm Charisma
in a violent way where that just becomes
everything to get that person and secure
that person without ever really
assessing am I really going to want the
thing that I'm working hard to get and
there are plenty of marriages that
people end up in where they find that oh
I got the
person now what does my life look like
with this person and it's like that
actually becomes a secondary question in
the equation and it should be the
primary question before all of our the
chemicals kick in that make us suddenly
run head first into a situation that
brings us an enormous amount of pain and
suffering and sometimes are very hard to
extricate ourselves from especially when
our life becomes in meshed with a person
like that so first decide what is
valuable to me and one of the ways to
decide that is to is looking
backwards most people myself included
can look at a relationship where they
overvalued the wrong thing and
undervalued the right thing and as a
result were
miserable I remember a relationship
where I was trying desperately to hold
on and to keep this situation this
person and yet it was making me
miserable and I was terrified that if I
lost it I would be in hell but the truth
is I was already in Hell by being in it
I was just telling myself that if I
could just secure it then I'll be okay
I'll be happy and and it I was missing
something
fundamental you know teamwork loyalty a
a trust a feeling that I mattered a
feeling that I was seen um that there
was equal investment on both sides I
didn't have them those things and so I
was an anxious wreck in that
relationship I was like a version of me
that I look back on now and I cringe I'm
like oh my God that was that really
brought out the worst in me in every way
so when we Look Backwards we can often
see a relationship where we were told
ourselves it was important to us and yet
we were missing something crucial and by
missing that crucial thing it became
hell if we remember those situations and
the thing that the ingredient we were
missing that made
miserable well it stands to reason that
that ingredient should be the number one
priority going forward and yes we still
want attraction yes we still want some
chemistry yes we still want some of
those things that light us up but
importantly if we find those things but
we don't have that ingredient we don't
bother because we know when we had all
those things last time around but we
didn't have that
ingredient we could not find a way to be
happy we were just in constant suffering
and we should not wish that on our
future selves so that's uh one big
important thing I do think we have to
look practically at the areas where our
ego is maybe driving us too much instead
of our happiness you know often we want
the person who we can bring to our
friends and family and everyone's going
to Pat us on the back and celebrate us
and tell us we did great but usually
that's based on a lot of superficial
things or you know the way that person
walks in and charms everyone it's often
not based on the deeper things that make
us really happy so I think we really
have to tune into what's going to make
me happy and what's going to bring me
peace what's going to bring me calm
what's going to bring me a better life
not who do I bring to my friends and
family and everyone says you did great
or we show a picture and everyone's like
ah good job buddy like those are that's
us being driven by ego so I think we
have to be very careful if we're being
driven by what egoic satisfies us or
what actually makes us happier happy on
a deeper level and also look for areas
where you're addicted to a certain
feeling that you keep telling yourself
is happiness or you keep telling
yourself is like the Great Stuff went
romantically when actually it's just
it's just a feeling you've become
addicted to over time and you can find
examples of this in different places in
your life I remember the realization
that when I was late to things I kept
asking I kept I would get annoyed at
myself when I would show up late and I
would go why am I late like there was no
reason for me to be late today why am I
late to this thing and part of it I
realized was oh I'm addicted to the
feeling of rushing somewhere like
there's something adrenaline seeking
about leaving a too late and then having
to get there on time and all the that
frantic energy is something that I was
used to I was used to chaos in my life
so I would even if I was on time
unconsciously I would always find a way
to engineer needing to then Rush at the
last minute and so it took me away from
calm because calm to me presented as
kind of
boring getting somewhere 5 minutes early
and and then just sitting with my
thoughts
that was a that was like boring and
uncomfortable whereas rushing to get
there was adrenaline and so you can
apply that to any relationship in your
life and so I would I would invite
people I don't think this is an easy
process it's certainly not a simple
process or even an intuitive process but
I would invite people into the process
of looking at feelings you keep chasing
that really don't serve you jump you
know going on Instagram and scrolling
for a few minutes will give you a
feeling but it 99 times out of a 100
nothing about visiting Instagram is
going to serve you um so what's the
feeling we're chasing and do we need to
start chasing feelings and experiences
that create a better quality of life for
us and that that's a harder question and
it might take us some time to even calm
our nervous system down from the
feelings we're used to uh I mean if you
take a drug addict and you know the day
they quit you sit them in front of a
Sunset and ask them to appr appreciate a
sunset that's going to be a difficult
moment for them to take in the beauty of
a sunset but you know months or or or or
or years later they may truly have the
ability to sit there and go wow this is
amazing I just but my body needed to you
know physiologically there needed to be
a a a period of kind of detoxing from
that Old experience in order to truly
appreciate a new one and so for some
people the answer might be stop dating
for a while and detox from that some for
some people it might be have some have a
real sit with yourself and start to
write down what do I value now and let
me let me be wary that the old feeling
is still going to be exciting to me and
I'm still going to feel the drug of that
and that's the dangerous part and I have
to respect the drug I have to respect
what it does to me but I have to train
my focus to the to the kinds of people
and relationships that make my life
better not worse Matthew hessy is a
leading dating expert and confidence
coach he's also a podcast host and the
New York Times bestselling author of
love life how to raise your standards
find your person and live happily no
matter what he joins us from his home in
Los Angeles Matthew I enjoyed the
conversation and good luck with the book
thank you Scott I uh I really appreciate
it and I appreciate the conversation I I
hope you'll come join us on ours
sometime
[Music]
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NukeStream: Assessing a Woman's Eating Habits
NukeStream: How Dating Will Look Like 2024
This Woman EXPOSES Female Nature SECRETS and TURN OFFS that MODERN Men are BLIND TO! (Casey Zander)
Why Avoidants show their true self ONLY after 1 year
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