How to be Interesting to Women 2 of 7
Summary
TLDRThe speaker in the transcript discusses the importance of understanding the differences between men and women when it comes to interests and emotions. He emphasizes that while men may be interested in 'things', women are more interested in emotions and how they feel. The speaker shares personal anecdotes about his journey to discovering humor as a means to connect with women and make them feel positive emotions. He also explores the concept of providing women with a sense of safety and security, using examples like riding a motorcycle or watching a horror movie. The transcript concludes with advice on how to make a woman interested in you by being a consistent supplier of positive emotions and understanding the emotions she feels, thereby providing a sense of security and companionship.
Takeaways
- 😀 The speaker emphasizes the importance of making a woman interested in you as the first step in forming a romantic connection.
- 👦 The speaker critiques the idea that men and women are the same, suggesting that understanding their differences is key to successful interactions.
- 🧠 Men are described as being interested in 'interesting things', whereas women are said to be more focused on emotions and how situations make them feel.
- 👶 Scientific research by Simon Baron-Cohen is cited to support the idea that from a very young age, boys and girls show different interests, with boys being attracted to moving objects and girls to faces.
- 😂 The speaker shares his personal journey of discovering that humor was the key to making women interested in him, particularly when he was younger and more intimidating.
- 🎭 The use of self-deprecation in humor is highlighted as a way to make oneself less intimidating and to provide a positive emotional experience for women.
- 🏍️ Motorcycles and horror movies are given as examples of situations that provide a mix of excitement and safety, which are appealing to women on an emotional level.
- 🎨 A museum visit is suggested as an activity for a first date that can elicit aesthetic emotions, but it's important to focus on the emotional response to the art rather than factual information.
- 💡 The speaker advises that the first date is a 'tryout' to see if a man can provide what a woman is looking for in terms of emotional connection and security.
- 👫 The script suggests that women desire to feel understood and not alone in their emotions, and that a man who can provide emotional shelter and security is highly attractive.
- 💖 The overarching message is that understanding and providing for a woman's emotional needs is the key to making her interested in a man.
Q & A
What is the main topic of the video script?
-The main topic of the video script is about how to be interesting to women, focusing on the importance of understanding and providing emotions rather than just talking about interesting things.
Why did the speaker feel the urge to both hug and slap the young man who commented on their post?
-The speaker felt the urge to both hug and slap the young man because they empathized with his struggles with dating (hug), but also wanted to correct his misconceptions about what makes a woman interested (slap).
What is the speaker's view on the idea that men and women are the same?
-The speaker disagrees with the idea that men and women are the same, arguing that men are interested in interesting things while women are more interested in emotions and how they feel.
According to the script, what is the fundamental difference between men and women's interests?
-The fundamental difference, as stated in the script, is that men are more interested in things and interesting subjects, whereas women are more focused on emotions and how they feel.
Who is Simon Baron-Cohen and what did his research suggest about newborn babies?
-Simon Baron-Cohen is a researcher in the UK who conducted experiments on newborn babies. His research suggested that day-old boys were more interested in moving objects, while day-old girls were more interested in faces, indicating innate differences in interests between the sexes.
What was the speaker's initial struggle with attracting girls when they were younger?
-The speaker's initial struggle was being perceived as intimidating due to their size and intellectual conversations, which scared girls and made them less interested in being around them.
How did the speaker discover that being funny helped them attract girls?
-The speaker discovered by chance at the age of 18 that making girls laugh was a key to attracting them and decided to focus on being consistently funny to connect with them.
What is the speaker's advice for a young man trying to make a woman interested in him?
-The speaker advises that the young man should focus on providing positive emotions and making the woman feel good, rather than trying to impress her with interesting facts or things.
Why does the speaker suggest that taking a girl to a museum could be a good idea for a first date?
-The speaker suggests that a museum can elicit aesthetic emotions, which can be shared between the couple. The focus should be on discussing the emotions evoked by the artwork rather than the factual history.
What is the speaker's view on the importance of providing safety and security to a woman?
-The speaker believes that providing safety and security, along with positive emotions, is crucial in making a woman interested in a man. This can be achieved through shared experiences like watching a horror movie or riding a motorcycle.
What does the speaker mean by 'the secret of women'?
-The 'secret of women' refers to the speaker's belief that women want to feel understood and not alone in their emotions. They seek a partner who can share and provide shelter from these emotions, offering a sense of security.
Outlines
😀 Engaging Women Through Emotion
The speaker introduces the second part of his series on how to be interesting to women, highlighting the importance of understanding that women are more interested in emotions than in interesting things. He recounts a comment from a young man who struggled to keep women interested during dates because he focused on discussing interesting topics rather than connecting on an emotional level. The speaker emphasizes that men and women have different interests and that understanding this difference is key to attracting women. He cites the work of Simon Baron-Cohen, who conducted experiments showing that even newborn boys and girls exhibit different interests, with boys preferring moving objects and girls preferring faces. The speaker advises that to be successful with women, one must provide and elicit emotions.
😄 Becoming a Provider of Positive Emotions
The speaker shares his personal experience of being unsuccessful with girls due to his intimidating size and intellectual conversations. At 18, he discovered that humor was the key to making girls like him. He explains how making girls laugh made him less intimidating and provided them with positive emotions, which in turn made them want to be around him. This increased his confidence, which was also attractive to them. The speaker further explains that the mechanics behind this involve providing a positive emotion (laughter) and a sense of safety and security. He draws parallels to other scenarios like riding motorcycles or watching horror movies, where the same principles apply: providing excitement and a sense of security.
🎨 Eliciting Emotions Through Shared Experiences
The speaker discusses the importance of providing emotions during a first date, using the example of visiting a museum. He suggests that the focus should not be on the factual information about the art but on the aesthetic emotions that the pieces evoke. The speaker advises that discussing the emotions that the art stirs in both the man and the woman can create a deeper connection. He emphasizes that women are interested in sharing and understanding the emotions that are elicited by experiences, rather than the details or history behind them.
👫 Understanding and Sharing Emotions for Connection
The speaker concludes by emphasizing the importance of understanding and sharing the emotions that women feel. He suggests that women perceive their emotions as unique and that this uniqueness can lead to feelings of loneliness. By acknowledging and resonating with these emotions, a man can provide a sense of safety and security that women seek. The speaker encapsulates the idea that if a man can connect with a woman on an emotional level and offer her a sense of security, he will be successful in attracting her interest.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Emotions
💡Interest
💡Self-deprecation
💡Confidence
💡Aesthetic Emotion
💡Safety and Security
💡Uniqueness of Feelings
💡First Date
💡Humor
💡Intimidation
Highlights
The speaker introduces a series on how to be interesting to women, inspired by a comment from a young man struggling with dating.
The young man's approach of discussing interesting topics on dates was ineffective, leading to a need for a different strategy.
Making a woman interested in you is essential for any romantic relationship to progress.
The speaker refutes the idea that men and women are the same, emphasizing the importance of understanding gender differences in dating.
Men are said to be interested in interesting things, while women are more interested in emotions and how they feel.
Simon Baron-Cohen's research is cited as evidence that from a young age, boys and girls show different interests.
The speaker suggests that trying to impress women with interesting facts or stories is a common mistake made by men.
The key to attracting women is to be a supplier of emotions, particularly positive ones.
The speaker shares a personal story of how being funny helped him become more attractive to women.
Self-deprecation as a form of humor can make a man seem less intimidating and more approachable.
Making a woman laugh can increase her confidence in the man and vice versa, creating a positive feedback loop.
The speaker explains the appeal of motorcycles and horror movies as dating strategies, providing excitement and a sense of safety.
The importance of understanding the emotions women seek in a partner is emphasized for successful dating.
The first date is described as a tryout to see if a man can provide what a woman is looking for in a partner.
Taking a woman to a museum and discussing the emotions elicited by the artwork is suggested as a dating strategy.
Women desire to feel that their emotions are understood and shared, reducing feelings of loneliness.
Providing a sense of security and safety while experiencing emotions is key to making a woman interested.
Transcripts
uh
[Laughter]
[Applause]
so this is the second part of my series
uh about women and this is called how to
be interesting to women and it
originated from a comment in the comment
section of one of my posts i forget
which ones and it doesn't matter so
don't go looking for it this kid
the way he wrote his post his comment he
seemed like a nice young man he seemed
like a nice young man and he wrote a
comment and the comment made me want to
both just
like hug him and [ __ ] slap him you know
hug him like you know you poor guy and
[ __ ] slap him out of affection out of
affection mind you [ __ ] slap him
because he was doing it wrong right
he was saying how he would go out on
dates
with these women and consistently what
would happen was that
he would uh talk to them about
interesting things and then he'd run out
of interesting things to say and then
the date would sort of like deflate and
die and
he'd only have the one date with these
girls right
oh god it was just
i mean like i said i wanted to hug him
and slap him you know but
both emotions were out of affection
making a woman interested in you is
essential it's it's the first step if
she's not interested in you it ain't
gonna happen right
uh i don't think that this needs to be
explained or
i don't need to grind on about it but
you have to keep it in mind
if she is not interested in you
she is not going to want to be with you
therefore it is your task your mission
should you choose to accept it to make
the woman interested in you right right
now the problem is especially in this
day and age where people
say that men and women are the same and
you know equality ra ra and and tabula
rasa and all this other sjw [ __ ]
this lefty [ __ ] that men and women
are the same well men and women are not
the same
get that out of your head
the fact that people
have been convinced into thinking that
men and women are the same
is the source of the problem here
because you see
men
find things interesting
men are interested in interesting things
but women
women are interested in emotions
specifically they are interested in
their own emotions
how a person or a situation or a thing
makes them feel
you see the difference
you see a guy and most of my audience
are guys i mean like at least the
metrics say that 95 of my audiences guys
are just unsurprising right guys you
know if i were to talk to you and you're
a guy
well what are you going to talk to me
about i mean you'd probably tell me
about some story something that you read
you'll probably tell me about how you
write about some car
that is fueled by i don't know like ice
cream you tell me about a car that's
fueled by ice cream and you can talk to
me for three hours about that i'll be
[ __ ] fascinated you know i'll find it
really [ __ ] fascinating really
[ __ ] interesting and i want to know
all about the the car fueled by ice
cream you know i'll be interested in
[ __ ] like is it sherbet or or just you
know regular ice cream vanilla
strawberry chocolate which gives get
better gas mileage you know i'll be
interested in that [ __ ] right a girl
she's not going to be interested in that
she's going to be interested in feelings
in her own feelings
now the scientific proof of this has
just been done to death
i think his name is simon baron cohen
he's the cousin of the comedian sasha
baron cohen now this simon baron cohen
is like a big brain in the uk
and he did experiments he and his team
did experiments on newborn children
day-old babies
okay
the day-old boys were consistently
interested in things in moving things
and the day-old girls were consistently
interested in faces
that tells you all you need to know
the sexes are different their interests
are different
now you you're a young man you think
that you're going to be successful with
a girl because you talk about
interesting things no you're going to
fail you're going to fail miserably
because girls aren't interested in
interesting things
they're interested
in emotions
their emotions the emotions that you
make her feel
you see where i'm going here
you see more or less where this
conversation is headed
right
so in order to make the girl interested
in you which is what you want you have
to provide her
with emotions
you have to be her supplier of emotions
you have to be
a consistent supplier of positive
emotions that she will want to come back
to
you see what i'm saying
now in the previous post i told you how
when i was young when i was a teenager i
was just lousy with girls i just didn't
know what the hell i was doing i was a
disaster right
until i was 18
until by chance i discovered that if i
was funny
girls liked me
now let me go a little bit into detail
see at the time i was 18 and i was the
height i am now i'm six feet and i was a
fairly large guy i was a fairly large
guy and therefore a little bit
intimidating
the other thing i had going for me or
going against me was that i was
noticeably smart i mean just
very educated i read a lot
and i was just really smart and
sometimes my conversation was a little
too elevated because i was interested in
you know all sorts of weird [ __ ] right i
mean i was like reading james joyce when
i was 16 17 and i wanted to talk about
that and so it scared girls it
intimidated them
my size and my conversation intimidated
girls
and so they didn't want to be around me
and so i was a failure with girls right
until i was 18 like i told you i turned
18
and i discovered by happenstance as i
told you in the other video you can find
it right here
that um
i made some girls laugh and then i set
my mind to making them laugh
consistently because i realized that
making them laugh was how i get girls
at the time i didn't quite understand
the mechanics or the reasoning behind it
now of course i do okay it's been 30 32
years since since i discovered this
it took me 15 years to perfect my
technique if you will okay of how to get
girls and
what i was doing at the time which i
didn't realize but i realized now was
that i was providing an exceptionally
powerful and positive emotion to girls i
was making them laugh
and everybody likes to laugh it's fun to
laugh you feel good about yourself when
you're laughing and so you want to be
around the guy who's making you laugh
right
now my approach was self-deprecation
what i'd do is i'd make fun of myself
and that would make me less intimidating
okay as i made myself less intimidating
because i was making fun about myself
right i made girls feel positive and
also something else
i made them feel very confident in me
and therefore my own confidence rose
you see
because by making them laugh they wanted
to be around me they would call me up
and tell me you know invite me to the
parties or whatever was going on because
i would show up and make them laugh
you know i mean i got to a point where i
actually had like bits written out of
things that i would say to make them
laugh right and so i provide them with
this positive emotion and therefore they
wanted to be with me and because they
wanted to be with me i felt more
confident and this confidence
was something that they wanted to latch
on to
it took me several years
actually a couple of decades i guess but
i finally understood the the interplay
of emotions that's going on here you see
the girl wants to feel the positive
emotion but at the same time she wants
to feel confidence in the man who is
providing
that confident emotion
and it made me understand two things
motorcycles
and horror movies
let me explain
i've had motorcycles right what happens
when you have a motorcycle and a girl
well you get girls all the time if you
have a motorcycle right
you're riding the motorcycle and it's
exciting you're going fast right you're
going fast the wind is blowing your hair
all the rest of it right and the girl
she's right behind you right and right
behind you she's holding on for dear
life what are you providing her when
you're riding around in a motorcycle
one excitement because it's exciting to
go on a motorcycle and two
safety and security
she's holding on to you for dear life
and and you're of course are not letting
go of the more it's like you're not
crashing right so you are providing her
this sense of safety and security
excitement and safety and security and
she just lapse it up
what happens when you go to a horror
movie with a chick right you go to see
some horror movie whatever the [ __ ] the
horror movie is right you're watching i
don't know final destination five or
whatever the [ __ ] it is right now right
you're watching the horror movie and
what is she doing you're staring at the
screen
and she is grabbing your arm her nails
digging into the flesh of your upper arm
her face
like smushed into your armpit and and
sporadically looking at the screen
terrified or quote unquote terrified not
actually it's just a movie right
what are you providing her
you are providing her with the strong
adrenaline rush of the horror movie
and providing her with safety and
security of your arm
you see how it is you see how it works
that's what you're doing that's what she
wants
the safety and security of your presence
and the strong positive emotion that
you're providing
now you say to me that horror movie is a
negative emotion because it's scary it's
the adrenaline rush okay because a
horror movie is not real it's not a real
horror it's just make-believe and
everybody knows that okay
but during the two hours of the movie
that adrenaline rush that she's feeling
she feels good about it that's why
people go and see horror movies if they
didn't have that powerful
rush of adrenaline and they liked that
powerful rush of adrenaline horror
movies would not be a genre nobody would
go to see any you see what i mean
yeah of course so you're providing by
taking her to a horror movie you're
providing her with a powerful emotion
and the safety and security of your arm
you're riding around on a motorcycle and
you're providing the excitement of going
on a motorcycle and the safety and
security of holding on to your waste for
dear life
you see
you see how it is
and in these situations you don't have
to say a [ __ ] thing see
you don't have to tell her interesting
things as the young commenter had tried
to do and failed you know he'd try to
interest her in things
women are not interested in things
they're interested in emotions you
provide them
with the positive emotion of safety and
security that you provide
and you provide them with that powerful
adrenaline rush of riding a motorcycle
or or a horror movie or whatever you got
it made
you see
that's how it works
now the next post that i'm going to be
doing is about the first date but i'll
give you a little preview here because
see the first date or the first time you
go out with a woman however you want to
call it first date or hooking up or
hanging out whatever the [ __ ] right
whatever the [ __ ] you kids are calling
it nowadays right see
that first date is a tryout
it's a tryout to see if you
come across basically you as a guy you
provide the woman with what she's
looking for
are you going to provide her with what
she's looking for or not
that's the question at play in a first
date
now our young friend the the one i
described at the beginning of this post
he clearly failed because he was trying
to interest the woman in things and not
in emotions
now if he were to succeed and what i
would tell him and i'm telling you now
is you want to provide
and have a plan to provide that positive
emotion
now i've talked about horror movies and
i've talked about uh you know riding
around a motorcycle right or being funny
as the case that i was doing right but
there are other emotions powerful
emotions you see
very powerful emotions that on a first
date would be like just perfect just
spot on right
an example
um
take a girl to a museum
yeah you're a student museums are free
right you take her to a museum
especially when the pieces are really
good really strong pieces right
and you'd be surprised what an impact
that will have you see but here's the
key issue
see when you go to a museum
right and and i'm picking the museum
example for a specific reason then
you'll understand
see when you talk to the woman
about the pieces that you're both
experiencing you're both going to be
experiencing an aesthetic emotion right
okay so you don't talk to her about the
history of the piece
or or the name of the painter or any
[ __ ] like that
that's not what she's interested in
you know what she's interested in
she's interested in sharing the emotion
that is elicited in the piece
for instance you go to the louvre right
and you see i don't know uh um
the mona lisa you know the most cliched
painting ever but whatever
you
both contemplate the mona lisa
and she's not going to want to hear
about leonardo da vinci
she's not going to want to hear about
you know the the paintings he did and
the school he was in and how the medicis
paid for his paintings she doesn't care
about that what you know what she's
going to care about she's going to be
caring about
you telling her
i wonder what she was feeling
the mona lisa was feeling at the moment
that she was being painted
you know that smile what is she feeling
at that moment
because girls want feelings see and do
you know why because
girls
fundamentally
believe irrational though it may be
they feel that the emotions that they
are perceiving are unique
and that the uniqueness of their
feelings
makes them feel alone
now that of course you think about it
it's a little bit irrational right well
it's not a little bit irrational it's a
lot irrational but that's what women
feel
they feel that the emotions that they
are perceiving are unique to them and no
other person on the face of the earth
feels those emotions especially
loneliness
and because of these emotions
they are alone and they don't want to
feel alone
see that's why they want to be with a
guy
they want to be with a guy who feels the
emotions that they feel
and provides
shelter from these emotions safety and
security from these emotions
you see
that's the secret of women
now if you can provide this
if you can provide for them this feeling
that number one you feel and understand
the emotions that they are feeling and
number two
you can provide them with a shelter a
sense of security and safety
while in the grips of these emotions
you got it made
that's how you get a woman
to be interested in you
[Music]
[Laughter]
[Music]
you
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