How to make SMALL TALK with ANYONE

Summary

In this video, Ariel New discusses the art of small talk and starting conversations with confidence and ease. She shares practical tips for engaging in meaningful interactions by focusing on the environment, noticing others' energy, and asking genuine, curious questions. Ariel emphasizes the importance of being present, regulating your energy, and using creative questions to break awkward silences. She highlights how building a dynamic and balanced conversation allows for deeper connections, whether in casual or professional settings. With a focus on self-awareness and confidence, Ariel helps viewers approach social situations with comfort and authenticity.

Takeaways

• 😀 Start conversations by focusing on the environment you're in, whether it's at a networking event, café, or social gathering.
• 😀 Complimenting someone's appearance or energy can help break the ice and lead to deeper conversations.
• 😀 Share personal stories to create connections, such as mentioning your hair growth journey or lifestyle choices.
• 😀 Stay present in the conversation and avoid forcing it. Be comfortable with silence or awkward pauses.
• 😀 If the conversation stalls, ask thoughtful questions to reignite it, like 'What’s your guilty pleasure?' or 'When was the last time you felt really lucky?'
• 😀 Don’t be triggered by shallow or general responses; instead, share your own personal story to keep the conversation flowing.
• 😀 Balance curiosity with vulnerability by asking deeper questions and sharing meaningful aspects of your life.
• 😀 Stay grounded and confident, especially during moments of discomfort or silence in a conversation.
• 😀 Know when to gracefully exit a conversation that feels misaligned or forced, whether at a networking event or on a date.
• 😀 Remember that small talk is an opportunity to cultivate energy, intention, and connection, rather than worrying about the perfect topic.

Q & A

What is the main focus of Ariel New's approach to small talk?

Ariel New focuses on cultivating a balanced energy and being present in conversations, aiming for both light and meaningful interactions. Her approach emphasizes reducing anxiety, building confidence, and using genuine curiosity to guide conversations.

How does Ariel suggest starting a conversation in a social setting?

Ariel suggests starting conversations by commenting on the shared environment. This could include talking about the venue, weather, or something happening around you, which helps to create an easy, comfortable opening for the conversation.

What is the significance of observing someone's physical appearance or energy in a conversation?

By noticing someone's physical appearance or energy, you can start a conversation on a personal and authentic note. This often leads to a deeper exchange as the other person may mirror your curiosity and ask similar questions, allowing the conversation to flow naturally.

What should you do if someone gives you general or short answers to your questions?

Instead of getting discouraged, Ariel recommends sharing your own personal stories or experiences to keep the conversation going. You can also keep asking open-ended questions to guide the discussion in a more engaging direction.

How does Ariel suggest handling awkward silences in conversations?

Ariel suggests embracing silence and using it to regulate your energy. If needed, you can share a personal story or ask a creative question to revive the conversation, ensuring that you stay grounded and present.

What is the 'ping-pong effect' in conversations, as explained by Ariel?

The 'ping-pong effect' refers to the back-and-forth dynamic of a conversation where both parties exchange stories, ask questions, and share experiences. Ariel emphasizes that this flow of energy helps build rapport and keeps the conversation engaging.

What role does energy regulation play in having fulfilling conversations?

Energy regulation is crucial because it helps you remain calm, confident, and engaged. By being mindful of your energy and grounding yourself, you can navigate uncomfortable moments or silences with ease, ensuring the conversation remains comfortable and authentic.

What are some examples of questions that can help deepen a conversation?

Ariel suggests asking questions that lead to personal insights, such as 'What’s something you do every day that you really enjoy?' or 'When was the last time you felt really lucky?' These questions invite deeper sharing and allow the conversation to go beyond surface-level topics.

How can you use personal stories to maintain an engaging conversation?

By sharing personal anecdotes related to the topics being discussed, you can connect on a deeper level with the other person. For example, if someone talks about their career, you can share your own professional experiences, highlighting common feelings or values.

How should you react if a conversation isn't going well, or if you feel no alignment with the person?

Ariel advises being confident in your decision to move on if there is no connection. You can politely excuse yourself, either by smiling and gently walking away in a group setting or by taking some time to allow the other person to speak more in a one-on-one scenario.