Use This Line If You Run Out Of Things To Say
Summary
TLDRThe video script offers five steps to improve small talk by analyzing Joe Rogan's podcast techniques. It emphasizes starting conversations with a genuine compliment, focusing on work, energy, or a platonic physical attribute. To avoid awkwardness, it's advised to not dwell on the compliment and transition to new topics using phrases like 'reminds me of.' Joe Rogan's approach to finding mutual interests and asking 'why' questions to understand values is highlighted. The script also covers asking fun, hypothetical questions to engage people even if they don't have exciting current events to share. Listening habits, such as laughing easily and mirroring the last few words of the speaker to build rapport, are discussed. The summary concludes with a call to action, inviting viewers to join Charisma University for further development in social confidence and charisma.
Takeaways
- 🌟 Start with a compliment to set a positive tone for the conversation.
- 🚫 Avoid making compliments that are sexual, insincere, or dwell too much on the compliment itself.
- 🔄 Use 'reminds me of' to transition smoothly between topics and keep the conversation flowing.
- 🎯 Ping for topics of mutual interest to create a genuine connection.
- 🤔 Ask 'why' questions to delve deeper into someone's motivations and values.
- 🎉 Ask fun and imaginative questions to get people excited about the conversation.
- 😄 Laugh easily to make the conversation more enjoyable and to encourage others to share.
- 🔁 Mirror the last one to three words of what the other person said to make them feel heard and build rapport.
- 👂 Listen actively and show genuine interest in what the other person is saying.
- 📈 Use lateral thinking to move the conversation from one topic to another in an engaging way.
- 🧲 Create a connection by finding common ground and shared experiences.
Q & A
What is the first trick to making small talk according to the script?
-The first trick is to 'grease the wheels' early with a compliment to start the conversation on a positive note.
What are the three types of compliments suggested for making small talk?
-The three types of compliments suggested are about the person's work, their energy, or a platonic physical compliment.
What are the common mistakes people make when giving compliments during small talk?
-Common mistakes include making the compliment too sexual, giving insincere compliments which appear manipulative, and dwelling too long on the compliment.
How does Joe Rogan use the phrase 'reminds me of' to transition between topics?
-Joe Rogan uses 'reminds me of' as a segue to shift from one topic to another smoothly, enabling a continuous and engaging conversation flow.
What is a key technique Joe Rogan uses to find mutual interests with his guests?
-Joe Rogan often brings up topics like DMT to ping for topics of mutual interest. If the guest is familiar with the topic, it creates an immediate connection.
How does Joe Rogan encourage deeper conversations instead of surface-level small talk?
-Rogan asks 'why' questions to delve deeper into the reasons behind a person’s choices or preferences, which reveals their values and interests.
What is one strategy Joe Rogan employs when a conversation topic does not initially interest him?
-Instead of ending the conversation, Rogan uses lateral thinking to transition to a related but more engaging topic for both speakers.
How does laughing contribute to better conversations in Joe Rogan's podcast?
-Laughing easily during conversations makes the speaker feel good and more comfortable, enhancing the connection and enjoyment of the interaction.
What mirroring technique does Joe Rogan use and how does it affect conversations?
-Rogan uses Chris Voss's mirroring technique, repeating the last one to three words of the speaker, which helps make the other person feel heard and maintains rapport.
What does the script suggest about staying true to oneself in conversations?
-While adapting techniques like mirroring, it’s important to stay true to oneself and maintain one's personal style and authenticity in conversations.
Outlines
😀 Mastering Small Talk with Joe Rogan's Techniques
This paragraph discusses the common struggles with small talk and introduces five steps to improve it by analyzing Joe Rogan's approach on his podcast. The focus is on using compliments to start conversations positively, avoiding common mistakes (sexual compliments, insincere flattery, and dwelling too much on the compliment), and transitioning smoothly between topics. Joe Rogan's method of connecting with a variety of guests is highlighted, emphasizing the importance of mindset shifts and specific questions that can be used to build rapport.
🧐 Deepening Conversations with 'Why' Questions
The second paragraph delves into asking 'why' questions to understand what people value and to foster more engaging conversations. It contrasts surface-level questions with deeper inquiries that reveal personal motivations and passions. The paragraph also suggests using hypothetical scenarios to prompt interesting responses and outlines a decision tree of questions to stimulate conversation. Joe Rogan's conversational habits are explored, including laughing easily to create a positive atmosphere and using mirroring to build rapport and make the other person feel heard.
📚 Building Confidence and Charisma with Charisma University
The final paragraph shifts the focus to personal development, specifically the impact of the Charisma University program on its members. It shares testimonials from individuals who have experienced significant improvements in their professional and social lives after participating in the program. The paragraph promotes the course, highlighting its benefits and offering a 60-day money-back guarantee to encourage potential participants to join. It ends with an invitation to check out the course and a forward-looking statement anticipating the next video.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Small Talk
💡Compliment
💡Lateral Thinking
💡Mutual Interest
💡Why Questions
💡Laughter
💡Mirroring
💡DMT
💡Charisma University
💡Confidence
💡Social Skills
Highlights
Five steps to make small talk with anyone by breaking down tricks Joe Rogan uses on his podcast.
The importance of starting conversations with a compliment to create a positive vibe.
Focusing on three types of compliments: work, energy, or a platonic physical compliment.
Avoiding common mistakes in giving compliments: being too sexual, insincere, or dwelling on the compliment.
Using 'reminds me of' to transition between topics and keep the conversation interesting.
Pinging for topics of mutual interest to connect with the guest, like Joe's frequent mentions of DMT.
Asking 'why' questions to delve deeper into a person's values and interests.
Creating fun questions that don't require the person to have something interesting to share.
Using laughter to make conversations more enjoyable and to make the other person feel good.
Mirroring the last one to three words of the speaker to build rapport and make them feel heard.
Staying true to oneself while mirroring to avoid coming off as a chameleon.
The impact of Charisma University in improving social confidence and creating meaningful connections.
Success stories from Charisma University members in job interviews and social life enhancement.
A 60-day money-back guarantee offered by Charisma University to ensure member satisfaction.
The significance of laughter in building rapport and its role in enhancing the quality of small talk.
The strategy of lateral thinking used by Joe Rogan to transition from one topic to another smoothly.
How Joe Rogan uses humor and personal style to connect with a wide range of guests.
The effectiveness of asking open-ended questions to encourage engaging responses.
Transcripts
we've all had conversations that feel
forced or boring or are filled with
awkward silences
it can be almost painful like this next
clip
so like country music or do you like
country
yeah cool
so in this video we're going to go over
five steps to make small talk with
anyone
we'll do so by breaking down some tricks
that joe rogan uses on his podcast to
connect with everyone from academics to
athletes to celebrities
some will be mindsets and some will be
word for word questions you can steal
these habits are a big reason why so
many of joe's conversations end like
this
bob sagan i love you i love you thank
you buddy thank you it was a lot of fun
this was great this was great thank you
very much thank you i really enjoyed
this man i really enjoyed it tell people
i always appreciate you man really do
thanks and i really appreciate you
too most people have their guard up when
they first meet you
they aren't sure if you're going to be
competitive or try to put them down in
some way
so the first trick you can steal from
joe is to grease the wheels early with a
compliment
this isn't something you have to do to
make a small talk go well
but it helps you start the conversation
with a positive vibe
there's a lot of potential compliments
you could give someone that said
there's three easy types you can focus
on for small talk
their work their energy or a platonic
physical complement
with those three options you should be
able to complement almost
anyone you meet here's a quick example
of each
thank you very much for being here i'm a
really big fan so this is an honor
i love being around people like you my
guy people around you you
people like you you're you're going for
[ __ ] all the time
and it's infectious it's like you're you
you give off energy
nice to meet you good to meet you too by
the way congrats on the mustache the
mustache
lower piece combo that's uh the
anarchist guy with that guy that
who's the mask oh the guy fawkes that's
right yeah perfect right
people make three common mistakes when
giving compliments that you'll want to
avoid the first is making the compliment
too sexual
second is making a compliment you don't
mean which makes you seem manipulative
the third is dwelling on the compliment
a compliment is great
but especially with people of high
status who hear compliments all the time
you'll want to transition off of it
fairly quickly
in general transitioning off of an
introduction and into an interesting
conversation
is one of the hardest parts of small
talk the best way to do this is by
transitioning between topics using
reminds me of
thinking for example with josh barnett
joe starts the conversation in his
standard way by complimenting his beard
how long have you been drawing that
[ __ ]
that's a real one after josh responds
joe does what most people would do and
starts talking about his own hair
but very quickly he uses that to toss
out a new potential topic
probably 35 i started growing like
serious back hair
i'm not like who's that russian wrestler
dude is this one oh
uh well there was this guy uh victor
zangief who
who actually did professional wrestling
that guy was just coated in it
oh yeah right there's another guy
solomon hashemica most people make the
mistake of thinking very linearly during
small talk
so they'd simply comment on their own
hair and then stare over at you
hoping that you would take the
conversation somewhere interesting
just by tossing out that his back hair
reminds him of a russian wrestler
joe and josh are able to spend the next
four minutes talking about various
wrestlers and mma fighters
it's a simple habit to build and makes a
huge difference in the quality of your
small talk
here's another quick example with rob
lowe rob asks joe a question about
baseball which joe doesn't seem
interested in talking about
most people here would just say
something like no not really and let the
conversation stall
instead joe uses lateral thinking to
transition to something else
are you a fan of the of the baseball
with the crowd noise
and crowd noise no i'm not a fan of fake
noise i i hate that some
cars do that they put fake engine noise
through the speakers oh jesus
exactly because he didn't just answer
the question but instead
asked himself what fake sound in a
baseball stadium reminds him of
they were able to transition to cars a
topic it turns out they both love
so next time you're in conversation and
can't think of anything to say it's as
simple as asking yourself
what does this remind me of and then
branch off in whatever direction first
comes to your mind
in both those cases you see another
common habit of joe's he pings for
topics of mutual interest
joe is infamous for doing this by
bringing up dmt in every conversation
good dmt dmt dmt dmt
emt dmt dmt when a guest doesn't know
what it is
it just goes by the wayside but when
they do it's an immediate connection
this will keep you genuinely interested
in the conversation
joe is a master at doing this in the
other direction as well he has two
tricks to get
other people excited about the
conversation they're both super easy to
do but most people don't do them which
is why small talk feels so painful
at times for example here's a common
small talk conversation
where are you from originally i'm from
wilmington delaware wilmington delaware
i don't i don't know many people from
delaware
thank you yeah what is wilmington like
nice town
yeah it's great where are you from is it
nice there these are boring questions
that no one is going to be excited to
answer unless they already like you
it's very similar but watch what joe
asks instead why utah man why you live
in utah what's that about
joe peels the onion he goes one level
deeper by asking
why questions that get someone talking
about what they value
this may seem hard to work into a
conversation but it's actually quite
simple you just do it in two phases
where do you live that's cool why do you
live there what do you do for work
interesting why did you decide to do
that even if the person doesn't love
where they live you'll get to hear
what's important to them
maybe it's their job their family a
passion whatever it is
now you know what's important to them
and can ask a question about that
which they're much more likely to want
to talk about this ties directly into
the second trick joe uses
he asks questions that are fun to answer
for example
an issue you might run into with small
talk is that some people don't have
anything interesting going on in their
lives to share about one way to get them
past that block is to ask a fun question
that removes the constraint of having to
be realistic
here's a few examples if you had a magic
wand
and someone said you could do whatever
you want
to fix this what would you do you were
the king of the world
said ed what are we going to do let's
say you become president
pulling both tricks together a great
decision tree of questions to get an
interesting conversation going can be
what do you do then as a follow-up do
you like it
if they say yes you can ask why and
elicit their values
if they say no you can ask well if you
had 100 million dollars what would you
do instead
joe also has two habits for creating a
connection with people while listening
the first is he laughs easily this makes
it more fun to talk to him because it
makes you feel good for being funny even
when you aren't trying to be
for instance watch him react when elon
musk talks about selling flamethrowers
through the boring company how many did
you make
twenty thousand
and they're all gone here's another
example where joe laughs at what dan
balzerian is saying even though dan
isn't trying to make a joke and i was
single and i was just like
you know what [ __ ] i'm just kind of
kind of like do bucket list [ __ ] like
whatever
like whatever i wanted to do when i was
a kid i'm just gonna [ __ ] do it
he's able to find humor in the absurd
and in both cases you see the other
person
light up a bit as they get a laugh from
joe for another example
watch david blaine's big smile after he
accidentally makes joe laugh
choked out as euphoric right yeah
exactly except this one's even better
and then you have all these dreams no no
it makes it sound exciting
the goal here is not to fake laugh what
you want to do is allow yourself to
laugh every time you find something
funny
laughing is a habit that gets easier the
more you do it so if you struggle to
laugh when you're out with friends or in
conversation with strangers
a good habit is to watch something you
know will make you laugh
right before going out this will help
you be in a better state to laugh in
conversation
the second habit joe has when listening
is mirroring there's several ways to
mirror but joe's is most similar to
ex-fbi negotiator chris vos's method the
mirroring that i teach is much more
simplistic and interestingly enough
has a great impact on how the other
person interacts with you
and it's just repeating the last one to
three words that they've said
word for word one to three words or it's
repeating a selected one to three words
here's a quick example where he mirrors
to make you feel heard
it's not like i wanna like take over the
world i just wanna
like make a good living doing what i
love that's all i want you know and it's
it's [ __ ] hard
i know it's hard here's a different
example this time he mirrors to build
rapport with jordan peterson before
taking control of the conversation
or king what's it what do you call him
prime minister trudeau that fella
the caster lover the castro lover i was
just gonna say that this [ __ ] guy
don't do this after every sentence but
if you find you want to make someone
feel heard or you want to interrupt
without making the person feel ignored
mirror their last three words also it's
worth noting while joe
does mirror people's words he is not a
chameleon he stays true to himself and
his style
for instance jordan peterson is a polite
guy who wears a suit and chooses his
words carefully
but you just saw joe chatting with him
in a hoodie dropping f-bombs in the
first minute
so you want to mirror someone's last few
words as a quick hack to build a bit of
rapport
but you don't want to copy everything
about someone stay true to yourself and
have confidence in who you are
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you
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